Archive for April, 2013

You know, there’s one thing that pisses me off about gamers today is their sheltered little worlds where they think that anything having more than 80% of it’s dialogue filled with profanity, that thing is not worth reading, watching, or playing. I find this amazing mainly because gamers in general curse a lot. But despite that, I find it incredibly surprising that using harsh language in any given situation, even under stress or anger, is frowned upon in the gaming communities that fester the internet.

I’ve been on youtube before Google’s little real name policies and have taken so much heat for using profanity in all of my vids (which were mostly composed of rants), but I’ve always that vids that were very low on profanity tended to get no views. But gamers have this very… very sick tendency to gloss over everything if the language is not sugar coated. Are internet gamers all women?

Gaming communities are not the cleanest communities in the world. Many of them can be liars, trolls, and generally rude people to others who express conflicting views (EGG!), but for some reason, if you have naughty words (or loads of it), somehow you’re now being offensive.

I’m not against criticism in any regard, but too many times I have had critics ignore points of my videos and/or posts mainly due to the language used. Damn what I have to say. Who cares about the context of the message when there’s about 30 fucks used to describe the issues? These are mostly complaints from gamers of all people which I find ironic and mostly hypocritical. I had no idea civility and decency was in high demand over the internet. Somehow, we have this mindset where we… need quote “professionalism” in everything we do. Professionalism being “positive language and respect toward everything in the subject matter”. But half the time, I ask “why”? To be taken “seriously”. I’m not asking to be taken seriously. The only time I would ask that is in inquiry to something that is actually important. And video games don’t fit that criteria at all. It’s junk entertainment, there’s no need to be taken seriously at all when discussing video games. No one takes gaming journalists seriously at all, a random youtuber or a blogger shouldn’t be held with higher expectations.

And even if I did clean up the language, the majority of what I talk about is anti-Nintendo anyway, so I wouldn’t be taken seriously if I didn’t hold them in high regard while hating New Super Mario Bros.

One of the biggest things I am amused by is that a majority of the people who don’t like profanity don’t like it because they were specifically told it was bad language back when they were kids. But we never understand specifically why they’re bad words in the first place. For one, hardly anyone would know that SHIT was an acronym to describe a brand of manure. Or fuck being derived from a german word (since anything related to germans brings us back to Hitler), but we don’t care. These naughty words somehow “erode your soul” and literally ruins the message being conveyed. We give so much power and weight to certain words that we become so frightened and run away when a waterfall of fucks start pouring out. But we never pay attention to context. Most of my material, if you will, involves ranting. Rants are usually “angry”. Would profanity not be appropriate in that regard? I can be a foul mother fucker. Swearing helps me convey my message with a more abrasive manner. Which is… 9 times out of 10… the approach I’m going for. I don’t generally like when cuss words become the prevalent point of a rant. I like them to be infused as a way to drive the anger, disgust, or whatever other emotion is trying to be conveyed.

I’m pissed at a majority of what’s going on with video games because it’s a hobby I used to enjoy. And as the days go by, it becomes harder to enjoy, and when I discover all of the major reasons of why it’s no longer enjoyable, I tend to get pissed off a lot. Because a lot of times, it’s not because developers want to appeal to a much larger demographic or because of money, but mainly it’s because developers are either very stupid people or very selfish people who knows what sells but actively avoids making what sells because they have their own passion projects they want to make. Nintendo falls into both categories of stupid and selfish, and time and again, they have shown that they do not want to change. To describe my frustrations with gaming with “cruel kindness” is an oxymoron.

But Gamers can be Anal retentive cunts when it comes to details in any body of work. Hell, most gamers would declare a game a failure if a certain pixel in a screenshot is not 1080p. Or having “sexy” women making up the majority of characters in a game…. automatically making the game a failure.

This one’s false advertising anyways. But so mother fucking fun.

Admit it. You’re going to resist the urge to fap.

Profanity has no chance with gamers, hell. It’s ok when THEY do it, but when the games relate to them in anyway, it’s offensive. My Amma, gamers must be women! I think the biggest problem in regards to pussified gamers is the very real issue in which people don’t use context and just throw it out there for the hell of it. But even if a person has a message and a context assisted by profanity, people ignore the context and assume the person is 14 years old or has some mental disease. Gamers are prone to throwing out baseless insults like these all the time, but they’re acceptable on any internet forum when it’s against someone who goes against conductive norms like worshipping developers like Platinum Games, Eiji Aonuma, or Hironobu Sakaguchi. Throw around a few or more curse words, you’re written off period.

I could care less about being called a Sega fanboy or being accused of sucking at popular games, but to ignore someone’s points based on the language used is almost as close-minded as not wanting to put down money to play a game about a green dinosaur who’s been turned into fucking YARN!

Yes… this….. shit.

That said, as has been shoved down my throat multiple times throughout my life, try to have an open mind. Yah limp dick fuck ups.



Due to the Pandora’s Tower bugs, I can’t even finish the fucking game. Currently, XSeed is looking into the problem, but considering that they’re not getting enough complaints, they aren’t convinced that this is an actual problem. More than likely it’ll never have a real fix because of the “majority clause” having nothing to say.

So there’s 40 bucks wasted.

To stave off my pissed-off meter, I decided to pick up Super Paper Mario. You know, me thinking that maybe this game might just be fun. I mean, it’s Paper Mario with regular ass Mario mechanics combined with Action-RPG elements. What could go wrong?

Every mother-fucking thing about this package.

First off, you can’t go into this game thinking t might be a regular ass action-RPG. Oh no, you have to think of it as a prototype for Skyward Sword.

Oh yes. Super Paper Mario is a fine blueprint for Skyward Sword for the fact that the game sends on you on nothing but incredibly boring fetch quests everywhere you go. And usually, it’s for the most idiotic and stupid of shit.

For example, there’s a part in the game where you have to find….. toilet paper. Toilet paper for what? A Pixl. The fuck is a pixl? Little fairy things that give you new powers, many of which are only useful for one portion of the entire game (their introductionary obstacles). Just like Aonuma Zelda where all the new gear becomes completely and utterly worthless after the very dungeon you received the item from! Anywho, the Pixl in question just allows you to change a few things in the background by spinning one portion of it around a bit. Get this, the Pixl waited in a porto-potty for 100 years looking for some toilet paper. 100 years, good thing you’re immortal. But in order to continue, you HAVE to find toilet paper. Why? Because an alien friend of yours knows where a pure heart is (the super important collectables needed to save the world), but she needs to use the bathroom. Even though we’re all in space and she could easily piss herself on the already shit-stained meteor, bitches just need privacy in the deepest parts of space.

I mean for what!? The majority of the game is you playing mother goose’s bitch! I don’t think I recall having to do so many arbitrary fetch quests in any video game outside of Nintendo games these days. And Super Paper Mario has so many bullshit reasons for why you’re doing shit, for example, in the ultra racist cragly world, you have this tv person who lost a key to a door you need to get through. But he mentions his TV crew might have it. So you go through all of this shit looking for them, but when you find them both and return, you find out the dumb ass tv host himself forgot he left it in his pocket.

See, Nintendo pisses me off with stupid BS like this. They think they can get away with arbitrary objectives in their games by overloading them with overwhelmingly silly attempts at humor that they think is cute. But that humor falls flat on it’s face because 1. It’s absolutely childish. 2. It’s condescending as fuck. 3. Overuse of puns kill everything. 4. Humor and comedy work only as a means of relief from situations that are perceived as serious It’s called “comedy relief” for a reason! And comedy is a shitty excuse to send my ass on wild goose chases for a diet book to give to some old bitch…..who’s already dead! What you wanna lose weight for, bitch!? Ain’t no damn modeling in the underworld! *cough* I’m sorry, it’s “underwhere”, which is a shitty pun used to sound like “underwear” so that the dialogue will seem clever and “funny” when you say it out loud. It’s the most pretentious shit I’ve ever seen.

The comedy just… doesn’t… work. Especially since the villains are no where near being threatening.

What the fuck is this thing? Am I supposed to shit myself?

Meet “O chunks”. Along with an incredibly terrible name, he speaks in broken english and is incredibly stupid. But he’s also aggressive and super strong. At the same time, he’s not funny, interesting… or even important. He’s just there to get his ass kicked a million times.

And this…. thing is the main villain, Count Bleck. He looks like a vampire pimp and speaks in third person. He’s not scary or threatening at all, just has lots of cheap powers. Aaaaaaaand he’s only trying to eliminate the universe because he was cock-blocked. Well, I can’t blame him there.

But as a villain, he’s absolutely terrible! Bowser has been and always will be the only Mario Villain that poses even a sliver of a threat. Miyamoto or whoever the fuck makes the games these days do not know how to make good Mario villains, and this is a pure example. You have villains that are non-threatening and are more comical than the stupid ass NPC’s you meet in the game worlds. Not only are all of the villains badly drawn designs, but they reek of cliche to the point that you question Nintendo’s self-proclaimed “innovational” status.

And you know what the fucked up part is? The gameplay is fine. But if it wasn’t such a boring piece of shit, it would’ve been at least… a B- tops. The game is so pretentious, I can’t stand it. And condescending too. I like how Nintendo goes in and insults people on the internet with flanderizations about how they approach certain issues like “complaining about games they’ve never played”. First off, Nintendo lives in some bizarro dimension where anyone who doesn’t like their games automatically have never played them at all. They assume the people who bought their pieces of shit love them to death. Most Nintards do, honestly, but in general, more people come out disappointed than usual.  For one, I’ve not seen one person recommend Super Paper Mario as a game to be included in their Wii collections and for good reason, the entire game is one big fetch quest, even more so than Skyward Sword even.

For example, why the fuck… that after a pretty hefty world, you are required to go back to the main hub world (flipflop town or w/e the hell it’s name is) and find very well hidden pillars just to proceed to the next world? This artificially lengthens the game time for no fucking reason! There’s no rhyme or reason to have to do this. For one, you have… NO MAP in this game, so it’s easy to get lost in flipflop town because every area you go through looks exactly the same, plus the town has a “dark world” variant that you also have to go into just to find more pillars and that creates a giant clusterfuck because then once you find a pillar, you have no shortcuts to get back to the main world entrances, so you have to backtrack and get lost some more, then you might find your way back but you’re too bored, tired, and frustrated from the lack of an actual map and sense of direction that you have to be literally taken out of your mind to even bother progressing. And I don’t see why you would! The story is the most tired load of tripe you will ever find in video games. You remember the post I made a long time back about Sticker Star and why people found the story in Super Paper Mario uninteresting, and that was Nintendo’s excuse to completely disregard it for Sticker Star in favor of really shitty gameplay? THE STORY IN SPM IS SOME BULLSHIT!

There’s nothing of interest to be found except childish and pretentious attempts at humor which only exist to entertain children. Adults cannot be entertained by such a piece of shit game like this. Actually, I don’t think even children could enjoy it because there’s WAAAAAAAAY too much dialogue to shift through. I can see children crying “when can I play the game daddy!? I don’t wanna reeeeeeeeeead!” The story is boring and trite enough as it s, but oh amma, the dialogue is nearly endless in it’s dullness and stupidity!

You know, a lot of Nintendo games happen to be like this. Everything feels arbitrary or pointless to the overall gameplay, but seems to be shoved in there for no reason other than to lengthen the game time. Nintendo seems to have this fucked mentality that length equates to quality. This has never been true for any video game….. except Xenoblade. That shit was so long, but so worth it. But see, that game is long but nothing in it feels arbitrary. It’s long by virtue of it’s own design. Everything fits and makes sense in it’s world. Plus, it gives you the desire to do quests which make the game longer, but seeing as they are not required but beneficial makes them worth it. You don’t feel motivated to do a damn thing in Super Paper Mario. It just feels like one giant and dull process you’re “expected” to do because you payed money for it. But see, the real magic is in the fact that Xenoblade’s content is extremely good. And as an incredibly long RPG game, this is a huge plus. The storyline is the backbone of an RPG’s content. Without a good story, you get current Mario RPGs. Gameplay is not even a good factor for an RPG because it gets repetitive anyway. A big reason of why Pokemon can get away with it is the multiplayer aspect and it’s content centered around building a strong team for competition. No other RPG honestly has it this good. Pokemon can get away with having shitty storylines because the other elements of it’s content does the work for them. Multiplayer will, usually, make up for lame ass content and gameplay. If an RPG has no multiplayer, then it damn well better have good content or gameplay, neither of which Super Paper Mario has. Think about Final Fantasy 7. Gameplay is absolutely dreadful, dull and lifeless, but everyone remembers FF7 for Aries’s death. Resident Evil’s general gameplay is tedious, but people loved it for the scare factor and maybe it’s storyline. Super Paper Mario’s general gameplay is average, but has shitty content that cures your insomnia. The only people who could enjoy this game are the Nintards who probably metacritic’d this game’s rating to disproportionate levels.

I don’t think I’ve had any actual fun from nintendo games outside of NSMB, Kirby Return to Dreamland, and maybe Brawl. Everything else is some trite bullshit that wasn’t worth the money I laid down for. Every game from them have seemed like awful… awful sequels.

Sega on the other hand, even with the bullshit they pulled with Sonic Unleashed and Generations have been much… MUCH better in this regard. See, you jump into their games and actually have some semblance of FUN! Super Monkey Ball is fun on the Wii. House of the Dead is fun. Sega All-Stars Racing is fun. Both Conduit games are incredibly fun. All these games have one thing in common. NO… BULLSHIT!

Sega games are more “arcade” style in design. Sonic games rarely have pointless tutorials you’re forced to sit through before you can actually start the game. When they do, they’re usually short or meshed within levels to have you play without pausing the game for any reason. Super Monkey Ball, you just tilt, hope you don’t fall the hell off, and GOAL! Then you go to the next stage without any long winded transitions. Rarely do any Sega games hog up the play time with silly things called “puzzles and fetch quests” (Sonic Adventure and PSO withstanding). HOTD:O is a lot more enjoyable than the Darkside Chronicles because lack of interruptions in gameplay like “cutscenes” or your partner character randomly getting caught and you have to free him, just get in there and blow shit up. Hell, even Phantasy Star Portable 2 feels like a better RPG than Xenoblade given it’s content and beat’em up style works better than having all of the fighting being on auto-pilot half the friggin time.

The majority of the gameplay you find in current Nintendo games makes you wanna fall the fuck asleep. It doesn’t matter how good the production values are. You’re gonna be bored out of your fucking mind, complaining, or just missing the good ol’ days when Nintendo kicked ass. Sega games constantly have you kicking ass and gives you insomnia half the time. But because Sonic, from 06 to 2009, had several hiccups, we up and assume Sega is a piece of shit in comparison. Nintendo games win awards for no friggin reason. Yurugu must really be in control of this world when people are defending Pikmin 3.

But Nintendo’s biggest problem is artificial length by arbitrary bloat. Too many Zelda games these days are filled to the brim with arbitrary objectives. Skyward Sword, in order to prove that you are a hero of legend to a dragon, you have to catch fucking tadpoles. Does that make any goddamn sense!? How about fighting a demon or saving people from a burning building! You want me to go fish!? And there’s no reason for a lot of the objectives in Super Paper Mario either. Why do I need to put on some weed hat to pass through a gate checking system when there’s real reason that I can’t just rush through it seeing as there no highly advanced security system set to KILL ME if I fail the security check.

Sega rarely puts you through that kind of shit in their games, but Nintendo seems to bloat their games with so many pointless puzzles and fetch quests with reasons given that seem to be created primarily to troll you for no reason. It’s probably Nintendo thinking they’re clever or funny, but it reeks of pretentious old men who think of nothing more than sadistic little exercises designed only to piss you off simply because they can. Sega games feel like games. Nintendo games feel odd and out of place for gaming, period. Playing Nintendo games on the cube, I kept questioning whether or not the Nintendo games I owned could be called games, outside of F-Zero GX, Custom Robo, Melee and maybe Star Fox Assault, rather than these one time only experiences that you have fun with the first time, then you sell the piece of shit because there’s no replay value at all. The problems Nintendo had with previous Ninty games are SCREAMING in their Wii titles, and I see no end to it in sight.

Instead, Iwata’s just gonna go on stage and apologize to several people for under-performing on their sales of their tech and software. What kind of pussy allows his developers to run amok and create terrible Nintendo games and see no reason to improve the output of their games? Instead, they shit out an NSMB game that DOES NOT CONVINCE PEOPLE TO BUY A WII U! NSMB was a cash cow, but if it couldn’t sell people on the Wii U, you know Nintendo is fucked. Pokemon is literally all they have left. If you’re considering becoming a Nintendo fan, you enjoyment stops at Pokemon and nothing else. They ruined Star Fox, killed off Metroid, destroyed Zelda, and literally did the impossible and KILLED NSMB! They’ve been fucking up everything! And they do not care the slightest. As long as they’re allowed to make excuses and continue to purposefully misinterpret what the fans want from their games, they’re going to run their franchises into the ground for the sake of “innovation” that no one gives a shit about! They don’t give a fuck about you!

Sega seems to be the only developer that actually gives a fuck these days. Most of my enjoyment came from them for this past generation, and it’s easy to see why. Even with motion controls, they still tried to make real games. And believe me, if they make real shit in the next generation, I’ll be there too.

Well, at least Mark’s honest.

Mark Pacini had worked on the Metroid Prime series, and admits to it sucking ass. While the fanboys are trying to downplay the effects with remarks like “oh he’s just a perfectionist”, it’s obvious that when a developer is not satisfied with his or her work after a long period of time, it shows how the rest of the world will look to it.The most we can expect from Metroid fans is that they’ll replay it when it comes out as a re-release rather than “hmm, I’m bored!”

Finally, some confirmation on my discontent with the series. When the devs don’t like their own product, you know it’s shit.

Ok, so I’m playing Pandora’s Tower, and I made it up to the Dawn/Dusk Towers. I’m playing through it just fine when all of a sudden I gotta go back and feed Elena beast ass.

And now I can’t even get back in the bitch! The game freezes everytime I try to enter either one of the towers! I can go back to every other mother fucker just as easily, but these 2 bastards are inaccessible!

DAAAAAAAAAAAMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! The game was just getting juicy! I’m near the fucking end of the game and it locks it’s own nuts up! SHIT! BITCH! FUCKING ASS AND PISS!!!!!! LIGHT A FIRE CRACKER IN MY DICK! STAPLE MY NIPPLES TO MY BALLS!

DAMMIT! I love XSEED man, but they turned into gold diggers with this port! How the hell does changing a region code fuck up the twin towers?! I bet Nintendo slipped that shit in to discourage people from holding onto their Wiis! They’re so angry that their piece of shit WiiU is a failure! Not even NSMBU could save it’s ass!

Or Elena did it, getting pissed that I kept feeding her shitty beast ass. You want drippings bitch!?

Dear Nyame

As a fan of fighting games, I’m no stranger to the communities that thrive from Evo championship nut-riding. The unfortunate thing is when it comes to video games that have any real sense of competition, this is a sub-group that is damned impossible to escape, because they’re everywhere, on and offline. A lot of gamers who play games “for fun” have a tendency to decry them because they “ruin” the fun of games. But no one really understands why this happens. How do Pro-gamers ruin the fun of games?

We all like to lie to ourselves and say “we don’t care how other people play a game”, but we know deep down, that’s a bunch of bullshit. We care ever so deeply of how other people play games because if there is an online component, you better believe it impacts how well you enjoy a video game. If a game has a Pro-Gamer environment, that means that 50-70% of the time, you will have to be a part of that environment if you want to win. No one wants to admit this because as most people state multiple times, we want to play the games our own way. Of course, the problem is that the Pro-gamers seemingly go out of their way to punish you for wanting to play the game the way  you want, or they’ll mock you with a euphemism of “that’s fine, but you won’t win”. “But I can just play offline, right?” No. You’re bashed over the head about the importance of online in video games, you’re going to want it, eventually. It’s more convenient to find someone over the net than trying to look for someone around your way to play. If/when you do, you’re going to be faced with these types of gamers.

And that means cutting out the Hyrule Temple stage 😦

There’s a reasonable explanation for this. Sure, we can go on and say “well humans are jerks”, but that answers nothing and goes on to simplify human nature as “existence without cause”. No one likes to explore the causation of these behaviors.

The Pro-Gamer is a sub-set of Hardcore Gamers in that they take gaming perfection to an extreme. If a game has tournaments (most fighting games), the gamers will look for exploits or the best strategies in a game and narrow them down to the most effective choices available. It’s similar to MMA where the best fighting styles are narrowed down to Grappling styles or Muay Thai. When it comes to the desire to win, flushing out all of the flawed or inferior strategies is always common. This is the primary issue many have with Pro-Gamers. They have a tendency to make every strategy except for one, nearly obsolete, and this is usually determined by pitting strategies against each other using test subjects who are at their prime, nearly perfect, or otherwise.

This happens in all fields that have competition (businesses in general), but when things get narrowed down, people tend to get upset as this is the only strategy you see. Businesses risk money by using the same strategies over and over again. Pro-Gamers risk nothing by using set in stone strategies, which makes the environment much more unbearable for everyone else. This goes into the western linear train of thought in which many believe that there is only one key to success. There are multiple ways to solve a math problem, but only one acceptable way when comes time to “show your work”. If you don’t go to college, you’re on a path to nowhere. Engineering is the only real field worth getting into. In the West, we narrow everything down to only one feasible solution, the only one that matters in life. And the only goal in life is the pursuit of wealth. And more often than not, because of western arrogance, we have a tendency to push this “only solution” thought process on everyone else because we believe that we are doing a public service by shoving that “one solution” mantra down everyone’s throats. Religious people especially have this problem. So do those in politics. But it’s damned everywhere in this country, why would we not expect this in video games?

But it’s not so much the playstyle rather than the behavior that really puts people off. And unfortunately, this is never going to change. Why?

You need to look at Pro-gamers in the same way as you would for other professionals in different fields of their expertise. These are people who have spent a majority of their life perfecting their craft. They go through several lengths of practice, training, research, etc. to get to the positions that they are in. As such, as a professional, they would, for most cases, deserve respect for their efforts. But here is the difference. Most professionals that people SHOULD have respect for… are those that actually contribute something to the world. Those who have professions in entertainment contribute nothing but delivering processed distractions for everyone else to waste their time over. Pro-Gamers, sadly, demand respect more often than not. And they can be quite obnoxious with their demands.

Many, lets say “Lax-Gamers” have a tendency to never give them respect anyway. Primarily because Pro-Gamers leave a nasty first impression. Many times, people associate the hobby/training/etc. with the mentality of the professional, and become discouraged from the hobby due to the professionals behind them. Not just pros, but regular fans of the hobbies. I don’t need to guess how many of you have been put off by certain games and hobbies due to the horrible fans they have.

Cookie for reference?

Why you ask? Lets think about this. Take a Pro-football player (Lets say “RG3”) and compare him with Justin Wong. On one hand, RG3 is good at what he does, but is very humble about his profession and shows no animosity to his opponents. Wong, on the other hand, is boastful, arrogant, and insults many aspects of video games he finds less worthy of his attention. I don’t think I’ve heard Daigo Umehara speak once. Now, if you take RG3, you would think football is a better hobby to succeed a while Wong, you would think video games are a severe waste of time. Why?

They will see Football as a hobby that builds good character.

They see a football professional who is usually humble and a decent person to be around. Who the hell wants to hang around people like Justin Wong?

So what happens is that the profession of competitive video games is associated with the mentality of the Pro-Gamer. Competitive gaming builds nasty character, as demonstrated by those who appear on the internet and sometimes in the real world. And pro-gamers in general have a terrible habit of belittling another person’s play style as being inferior and not capable of winning in a “real” match.

Gamers tend to have egos so inflated that they cannot see beyond their own preferences and opinions. Pro-gamers take this on a larger scale of insanity where they believe their preferences and opinions are the only ones that matter. Take the Pokemon community for instance. One guy says it best.

It’s not the act of EV training that’s a problem, it’s the mindset of people who try to pidgeonhole all of the elements of Pokemon into a “competitive” environment at the expense of everything…

….There is nothing wrong with enjoying Pokemon as a numbers game, but attempting to trivialize every other aspect of the series is just being an asshole.

Well, maybe not best since gamers are somehow against profanity these days, but I digress. I’ve been on forums unrelated to Pokemon, and when the topic comes up about liking say a Mewtwo over Arceus, prepare to get into debates about base stats and natures. And these views would “matter more” because they are based on scientific evidence. It’s not an opinion, but rather researched conclusions. The problem is that they bring this into a context that does not call for scientific evidence but rather preference, but good luck telling the “pokemon masters” this. They’re inconsiderate people. Actually, Pokemon fans in general are inconsiderate people, it might not be exclusive to the Smogonites.

The lax-gamers, out of spite and a bit of vengeance, denounce and belittle the meta-gaming environment and anyone who is a part of it. What happens is that the pro-gamers then become even more hostile toward the lax-gamers for their own grief. And the wars begin. The pro-gamers suddenly become self-righteous, essay-typing folks about their passion, ignoring, or popularly disassociating from the proclaimed “bad eggs” of their communities. My favorite line is “yes, I AM better than you”.

Many times, pro-gamers will buy their own propaganda in that the lax-gamers hate the pros because “they’re just inferior to the pros”. This gives them the idea that they can say whatever, do whatever, and be however they damn well please, because their skills are superior. No one is talking about the fact that the attitude is the primary reason they are despised. “Haters gonna hate” and all that shit. The truth is many people would honestly not give a damn how good someone is at their craft. It’s the behavior that comes with the territory they are concerned with. America is probably the most “free” country in the world, and people like freedom. But people don’t like Americans because…. I don’t have to spell it out for you. People hate America because Americans are assholes. The problem is Americans are more egotistical than everyone else in the world, so they ignore the criticisms and suggest that everyone is “just jealous”.

This probably goes back to the school bully therapeutic response in which the victim is told “they’re all just jealous of you” when the victim got his ass kicked. If they believe the lie, the victim grows up not even addressing the criticisms of their detractors should they go the asshole route and “not give a shit”. “They’re all just jealous of me, so fuck them!” This leads to a lack of empathy on part of the no-shit-giver, and would explain the toxic environment pervading internet gaming forums, and America in general. “They’re all just jealous”.

Why is it easy for the pro-gamer to suggest that it’s only your jealousy preventing you from seeing how great and right he is, instead of referencing his psuedo-imperialistic mentality as the main culprit? Simple. Jealousy has been proven to be the single most-effective scape-goat to escape criticism of one’s actions, and easily rebukes ones argument. When you suggest jealousy is the cause of someone’s dissent, onlookers see a person’s envy as a flaw on his or her character. “If this person trained or practiced as hard, he could be just as great as him, but instead he chooses to hate another person’s craft”. They assume the person is lazy or doesn’t practice hard enough to be as great or better than the pro. As a result, most legitimate complaints are flushed out in awe of the pro’s talent. Fox News tried the same argument when a rival network (correctly) assessed that Fox’s stories were falsified for sensational viewings. Fox basically stated that the network was jealous because they get more viewings. Sleazy, isn’t it? But it worked.

The Hubris of the Pro-gamer is that thick. The vainglorious essays they write usually come out of petty defense for their own playstyles, and their near-autocratic definition of the “correct” way to play a game can turn anyone off in mere seconds. But the primary reason is that they, more than other sub-groups of hardcore gamers, show 0 respect for anyone that does not play on the same level or better… than them. To garner their respect, you must never speak ill if them. You must train as they do. You must attend tournaments in order to have a valid opinion on games. You must become…..David Sirlin. If you do not display most of these traits, you mean nothing.

And the funny thing is no one can really ignore them. Gamers, no matter what status you serve, have huge egos, and pro-gamers have a spectacular ability at rubbing people the wrong way. It’s not easy to ignore someone who comes off as condescending toward how you approach your hobby. I’ve said it before, when you love something a lot, you tend to absorb that something into your soul. So if that something is harmed in anyway (verbally or physically), it harms you as well. So the way you play a game is intricately a part of you, and you were told that the way you play is shit. How are you supposed to feel after dealing with several people that have this mindset? Never the less have any respect for them? They’ve bruised and battered your ego in many ways, and the only way you can be at peace would be to beat them in a match. But that would be impossible for many average people considering the sheer gap in skill level.

Speaking of which..

Corruption by power is an all too common trope that many are familiar with. We become powerful to the point that we do no longer have a connection to those who are beneath us. The powerful always judge the “weak and inferior” as they feel their power alone is enough to silence the critics who would be foolish enough to challenge them. Power liberates one from social responsibility, consideration, and norms because with power comes the ability to get away with it. It is why many people seek incredible wealth.

But in the end, it’s still just a video game. But arrogance is universal amongst many different crafts. At the root of it all, we hate arrogance, but we become our anti-thesis when finding power. It’s why so many scorned lax-gamers become a part of the pro-crowd and evolve into the same nonsense that they originally found appalling.


Finally got some Pandora’s Tower and OH AMMA NOOOOOOOOOO!

Did this… crazy white bitch just EAT A PURPLE BEAST HEART!?


Fuck, I’m just watching these scenes where she eats monster meat and it’s sooooo painful. Doesn’t help that she’s a vegetarian but FUUUUUUUUUUU……

Anywho, yeah this game officially aped every Zelda game after ALTTP. There’s a much bigger focus on combat, robbing monsters of their asses (literally) and then feeding that shit to a chick to watch her cry.

So I beat the first Tower and I have a bad habit of getting in, ripping someone’s ass out, then I just leave to refill that gauge, that shit goes down so fast.

So I’m in the Sheerdrop Spire but since the east coast is about to get ass raped by Mother Nature (named HAARP), I won’t be able to continue the ass ripping till tomorrow. None of you give a shit, I know. But yeah, this game just gives a lovely dose of balance to combat and puzzles (something earlier Zelda games before Aonuma have managed to do.). How the hell do I increase the equipment blocks, though?


Link turns into a FUCKING DRAWING for the sake of solving “puzzles”. The game looks more like a plastic version of LTTP with the magic meter being replaced… with stamina. The Magic Hammer used to depend on magic energy, but notice how that shit refills after using said hammer? So now they take the WORST aspect of Skyward Sword and put it into LTTP?


I DECLARE WAR! There’s NO REASON for Nintendo’s newer directors to continue FUCKING UP the Zelda series! I’m ready for war with these bastards!

I can smell all the Nintard praise this piece of shit is gonna get.

I rule you.

Wait… Pandora’s Tower is out! One more before I go away for a while to feed my last Rainfall addiction!

You know, it’s wild how even after remakes and a disappointing (to the masses) 5th gen, people still hold steadfast that Gen 2 of the Pokemon series were terrible games by the notion that “Johto is tiny”. Well, Pokemon fans have a petty tendency to blow shit out of proportion, it’s no surprise why they would believe such horse piss. Pokemon fans tend to be easily pleased by big worlds and feel let down when one isn’t super huge (afterall, Unova was one big goddamn circle, and no one likes it).

But I enjoy how everyone trashes the games for several reasons that had no real impact on anyone’s enjoyment of the games. If anything, I find the DP and RS games to be severely overrated due to everyone having power trips in the “METAGAME”, because lets be honest. The mons introduced in RS and DP are overpowered as shit.

But moving on, the things I find funny about Pokemon fans and their gripes with GSC (or Johto shit in general) are numerous. I could talk about the several innovations that GSC brought to the table that no other game has truly done yet (we don’t get new typings anymore, for one) or how you didn’t have to wait for a special edition to get both legendaries on one cart anymore (because finding people to trade with was nigh impossible and expensive until DP) or having a second region to go through was damned orgasmic, or being able to fight a previous gen player character with a preset, but the one thing that tickled me was this.
“The Gym leaders sucked because they’re all low-leveled pussies”This… is the funniest thing I’ve ever read. Because not only have most Pokemon fans realized that high levels don’t mean jack shit (since Pokemon nowadays is all about stat. boosting or EV training or whatever wild shit they call it these days), but I find it amusing how no… other… gym leader in the history of this goddamn franchise… is more memorable than Whitney.

The daughter of Yurugu herself!

This evil white bitch here is probably the single most memorable Gym Leader of all time. You know why?

So many fans have cited Whitney’s Miltank to be the most notorious cause of high blood pressure and stress (much like real milk gives you diseases that those commercials don’t tell you about) because Rollout would ass rape every damn thing on your team. And that thing was only at 18! Amma help you if you started with Cyndaquil. After her, it’s either Morty or Claire as the other more difficult gym leaders in the game. Hell, Jasmine’s Steelix pissed me off more than Cynthia’s Spiritomb.

That’s another thing. The battles in GSC felt authentic and natural while most of the difficulty I found in Platinum was mostly artificial (I don’t even know what IV’s are, and I read that Cynthia’s team had perfect scores of them across the board which is bullshit.). Yet, for some reason, fans believe that levels determine how powerful a person’s team is? The GSC crew are underleveled in comparison to everyone  else in the series, yet have provided more of a challenge than everyone else. GSC’s gym leaders are lightyears more memorable than every other gym leader ever (sans RGBY). The only other gym leader that comes close to matching their fame after GSC is Iris, arguably now that she’s become a Champion.

African Warrior Queen, bitches.

These days, Gym leaders are now recognized only by their sex appeal. If I was into white meat, yes I would plow Flannery’s ass, but that’s aside the point. None of these gym leaders have merit anymore. Not to mention the newer ones have terrible designs after Gen 3. Hell, no one even cares about the Frontier Brains in either RSB or DPP.

Nowadays, people will try to write off Whitney as “easy”, but lets be honest. These people were kids when they got their asses kicked. Now that they’ve matured and actually gotten smart, they know better strategies than before. So of course she’s gonna be perceived as easy, but that hardly revokes the fact that she is infamous. The desperation in the fanbase’s attempt to downplay her merits is delicious.

Other complaints range from boring towns. Now, what Pokemon doesn’t have this shit? Hell, RSE had the most lifeless ghettos to ever grace the series. One thing I noticed while going over HGSS was that nearly every town had some sort of dungeon for you to go through.

Sprout Tower

Slowpoke Well

Underground Hideout/Radio Tower

Burned Tower/Tin Tower


Store Hideout

Dragons Den (stretching, fuck it).

And that’s not even including the other dungeons along the normal routes. Johto was more of an adventure region rather than a big ass rock with several cities to be immersed in. And really, what else do you do in towns besides:

Pokemon Center

Mart/Dept. Store

Occasional Gym battle

Occasional Name Rater

Occasional Move Tutor

Occasional useless daily collectible bullshit?

Hell, GSC, you were entering every town in preparation to BUST SOMEONE’S ASS! Gym leaders were just desserts.

Johto is the only region I found to actually have a uniqueness from other regions. It’s mostly all about a rural, Sengoku period aesthetic with Ecrutek being it’s pride and glory. You get an actual essence of history and originality in this region. That alone made it interesting in itself. Every other region since then has been “well this city is unique because of random traits like fishing ports or theme parks or gold mines!” No one even thinks about Hoenn outside of being a giant flood of itself, and no one even recalls Sinnoh for being anything other than a giant advertisement of the Global Trade System and it’s legendaries.

See what I find odd is how regions in the later games are horrendously dependent upon the “evil teams” and their plots to take over the world using legendary pokemon. The regions cannot be that uninteresting to shoehorn the legendares into plots with the always uninteresting villains. See, the older games (GSC especially) always made the mons, legends and/or legendaries rare and mysterious mons that drew interest simply by their elusiveness (the 3 cats especially). Now they’re all in your damn face.

The johto pokemon may be perceived as weak, but for a time, they were the most elusive pokemon to get, even in their introductory games. I’ve seen more 2nd gen pokemon being used in matches more than any other generational type. And the 3rd gen mons? Hardly ever see those outside of maybe Swellow or Metagross (no bullshit, I rarely see Gen 3 mons anywhere). Simply put, the elusiveness of the pokemon draws more interest than anything else. You shove all these new pokemon in their faces, they get tired of them real quick. The more elusive, the more popular (why do you think people obsess over those goddamn shinies?), which grants Johto mons notoriety in their fame. Before HGSS, you had to go through so many fucking hoops just to get a Cyndaquil, it’s not even funny.

Another issue is that no one even bothers to bring up the music. Hands down mother fucker, GSC had the best soundtrack. Yes, the Pokemon and Trainer encounter themes were basic, but the Rival, Gym Leader, and Champion themes set a tone of seriousness and a desperate struggle that has yet to be matched by any other OST in the series. Hell, even the Game Corner music is better than half the shit in the rest of the series.

You could turn on your in-game radio and play that shit while traveling! And hell, I know all of you miss this feature, especially with the pussy ass music they play in the newer games.

This is GSC’s Rival theme. It screams “YOUR ASS IS MINE!”. Just listen closely to the 0:40 mark that screams “I HAVE TO WIN THIS NO MATTER WHAT!!” Most of these young niggas don’t know that this is high quality stuff. No, they get this shit.

Am I supposed to get amped off this bitch!? I’m going into these fights just pissing my self with laughter.

What is this? A Mexican Samba!?

Fuck, it took 2 generations after GSC before the music could even be good again.

Sounds like some Pandora’s Tower shit right here.

Moving away from the music, many people now believe that GSC was shit because “it was an extension of RBY”, while RSE and DPP were more independent within themselves and their overall gameworld. This is actually not a good thing. Gamers (and people in general) LOVE consistency and continuity. This is the basic law of nature. RBY was already a popular entry, and GSC more so because Gamefreak chose to expand on it. That doesn’t make GSC terrible at all, it actually makes it better. Saying that a game is independent from the rest of the series makes it more isolated and less likely to get some love (which explains RSE’s current situation as “shit” by a large majority of fans). RSE is so far disconnected from the rest of the series, only the Nintards would bother giving it credit just because “they don’t like negative criticism”, which is a common trait amongst Pokemon fans. Most of them don’t even legitimately like RSE but choose to defend it simply because they don’t like the other fans announcing their hatred of the games. DPP was a lot better off thanks to a few references to GSC and Jasmine’s appearance, giving it at least some semblance of continuity to the rest of the series. But even then, it still felt largely isolated. BW, by then with all the remakes, no one cared anymore. At least it was announced to be a “new beginning” rather than out of the blue just being largely removed from the rest of the series (and had that bitch Cynthia too, of all people).

What is a sequel rather than an expansion of already existing content? If you put in features from a sequel and then strip them away in the next, what do you expect other than people begging for the feature’s return? People consistently demand a second region to go to with 8 more badges to collect because the ability to go from one region to the next was one of the greatest elements ever brought to Pokemon. One of the things Pokemon has been great about was exploring and finding new areas to go to. An extra region to trek was orgasmic. GSC was simply put a game full of secrets… that people gave a damn about. Hell, the best kept secret was fighting Red at the end of Mt. Silver, not some new legendary to fight and capture. No other secrets in the rest of the series have truly been more memorable than Fighting Red. This was your previous player character, and he was going to beat your ass like no tomorrow.

Now how about that? A HUMAN CHARACTER, not a legendary Pokemon, was more memorable than entering the Distortion world to fight Giratina. More people found BW to be better than RSE and DPP, why?


Bitches love me.

Silver (I guess that’s his official name now) was an asshole who only cared about power and Dominance over that pussy “love and compassion” crap that everyone preached about. Not only that, but he and Blue are the only rivals that actually gain some character development in the long run.

Bitches don’t love me… yet.

Out of all the Evil team leaders, this one is the most threatening. why?

Giovanni was a mob boss with basic plans of taking every Pokemon for himself.

Archie and Maxie…..ugh.

Cyrus wanted to make his own world for… some reason.

Ghetsis wanted the same thing that Giovanni wanted… but he actually tries to KILL you in the process. He’s officially a real villain out of all of them that came out.

And yes, that IS important.  See, you need a villain that is actually threatening. All these puss ass characters that want to “expand worlds”, this guy goes through a lot of planning to get what he wants. He even hired ninjas! You do not fuck with a guy who hires Ninjas. He means business.

Aside from that, even the Gym Leaders had more personality beyond the trite “Lets battle! Amazing! You’re strong, but I’m not done yet! I am impressed and proud of your abilities! In commemoration of your supreme awesomeness, I award you this badge!”. Gym Leaders before RSE were more… realistic in a sense. They sometimes insulted you, got pissed at you, and hell, in GSC, 2 of them wouldn’t even give you a badge after you’ve won fair and square. They pouted and bitched some more after the fight. Chuck even tried to intimidate you by showing how strong he is compared to you. These Gym Leaders did not fuck around, they meant business! Now every Gym Leader tries to coddle you with a smile. They may say a little “this won’t be easy” quirp, but for the most part, they’re pussies. It doesn’t help that most of them dress like faggots these days.

Now… I don’t think I can describe what the hell GF was smoking when they made this design.

Not only that, but GSC was really the only time that you had a swarm of new features. Fuck, you even got a cell phone in the damn game. Most of the new features of later games aren’t even remembered fondly outside of the Pokemon/Trainer Seekers. Contests never had any love (glad they took that bullshit out, and NO ONE misses them). Secret bases weren’t anything special. The Underground, while fun, isn’t the greatest thing ever. Really, the only thing RSE had going for it was a bunch of handicap matches called “Battle Frontier”. And really, that’s just an expansion off of a hand me down localized version of Pokemon Crystal’s Battle Tower.

People are still begging for a second region to traverse to. It’s that special and only GSC gave you that feature. No other element in the series has had this much love. That was a truly special feature of the game and not even the GSC haters can deny it. Battle Frontier’s popularity pales in comparison to having a whole new world to explore.

Natures are only paid attention by the hardcore. Attack Splits are paid more attention by the hardcore. It seemed as though most of the new features introduced (that anyone gave a damn about) pandered exclusively to the hardcore. Contests and whatever minigames they had equated to 3 degrees below whale shit.

Honestly speaking, GSC was the most memorable of the series by far. No other game even comes close to it’s content and features. The elusiveness of the pokemon and the personality of the HUMAN characters all made them special in their own way. A tiny region has no baring on the impact of the game’s content, and the pokemon fandom is hilarious enough to try and downplay it’s impact by far.

Also, a note about Pokemon designs. Lets be clear. The newer pokemon Before 2nd and prior to 5th gen ARE designed like ass. Why? Because the typings do not corrolate with their designs. For instance, Garchomp is described as a “land shark”. So most people would think of it as a water/ground type, right? WRONG! It’s a mother fucking dragon/ground type. You wouldn’t know that by looking at it, though. It looked like an alternative evolution to Sharpedo (forgets the pre-form’s name a lot). What the fuck on Lucario’s body makes it a Steel type? His hand horns?! Bitch please. There’s no significant trait about Lucario’s concept that makes it a steel type. It’s just “Aura”. It should’ve been a damn Fighting/Psychic or Pure Psychic. Deoxy is a “Space Virus”. Why isn’t it a Poison type? I have no idea. It’s just Psychic because it’s either that or another damn dragon for a legendary these days. Breloom being a fighting type never made sense seeing as it’s a Raptor with a mushroom on it’s head. Looking at a Whiscash will make you think it’s an electric type, but it turns out to be water/ground. Cradily looks nothing like a rock, yet we’re supposed to treat it as such.

That is all.

At the beginning of this series, I called the gameplay of Sonic the Hedgehog “Shallow”. And that… pretty much pissed off everyone that read these posts. To that, I say this.

Shallow gameplay is not bad gameplay.

First off, separate Gameplay from Fun Factor and think about that for a moment.













The fuck you lookin at?

Nothing? Ok, well, lets look at shit like Monster Hunter.

Now, the entirety of the internets would conclude that Monster Hunter’s gameplay is superb.  Where this comes from, I don’t know. Maybe it’s the “Capcom” bug. However, I’m sure the majority of the Western world would agree that Monster Hunter is just not fun. It’s a fucking chore to play. Yes, we can talk about the depth of the game’s combat system, the tactics and preparation needed to take down monsters is fucking deep. No doubt about it. But I figure most people would probably find God Eater to be a helluva lot more fun in comparison. It’s faster paced, has more unique monsters, and some damn good music to boot.

Not to mention de African main character! *cough* Sorry, the MULATTO main character.

God Eater’s Gameplay might be more shallow than Monster Hunter, but it’s fun factor is much higher. This goes for Tekken vs Virtua Fighter. Many will agree that VF is deeper and has better gameplay than Tekken. But more people cling to Tekken because it’s “more fun”.


What? I’m serious! You can take a poll to the streets and have so many people wanting Tekken over VF. It’s not even a discussion. Tekken’s learning curve isn’t as complex (or hyped up to be as complex) as VF, and it’s over-promoted to. Plus it’s flashy, and they have this hoe:

Anyway, it’s quite common to have people vote for the more fun games than those with the most “depth”. Fun Factor takes a large gapping priority over “Gameplay”. Like I said, no one really cares about gameplay as long as the game is fun. Oh, and there’s the appeal aspect as well. If there’s no appeal or fun factor, then forget it. You won’t have a large enough fanbase for the game.

So in many ways, shallow gameplay usually wins as long as it’s fun and appealing. Shallow gameplay is not demanding of the player beyond the minimum basic skills necessary to achieve a goal. This goes for a lot of POPULAR games (God of War, Tekken, should go for Zelda too), but for some fucked up reasoning, we’ve adopted this sick mentality that a game has to be overly demanding just to be high quality. Actually, the reasoning is for an exclusionary goal that many are aware of (TEH DREADED CAZUELS!)

Sonic? Same thing. Sonic’s gameplay has always been shallow. But it used to be fun and appealing. Sonic has no appeal anymore, so now there’s a bigger focus on gameplay. But what about Fun Factor?

That’s been stripped away as well.

The last million main series Sonic games have literally been on rails. Thanks to the unwarranted hyping of Sonic Rush (somehow being promoted as being the return to Sonic’s roots), damn near all Sonic games since then has taken the Rush approach in giving the players boost mechanics that turn the series into more generic roller coaster rides than ever before. There’s something wrong with a game when replaying it doesn’t feel exciting after the first time. You could say the same for a large majority of Nintendo games these past few generations, but Sonic does it in a strange way. None of the levels feel like a chore, nor is there “that one part” that makes one reluctant to replay the game over again. You know what I mean. The “Water Temples” of long ass games. Sonic games don’t usually have Water Temples, but the fun factor of the levels quickly diminish after the first time playing. It’s not a fault of the boost mechanics, but the levels are designed to accommodate the boost mechanic and nothing more (Well, maybe except Modern Crisis City, that one’s pretty decent).

Even the classic levels in Generations don’t carry that special sauce needed to reinvigorate that hunger you crave to go at the game again. There’s nothing special beyond the first time spectacle excitement you gained upon entering the level. Afterward, it’s just play this level and “watch him go”. There’s nothing beyond that, so as a result, no matter how many times Sonic fans claim that the games are getting better, that Sega’s actually improving, and that the future looks bright, this kind of gameplay is not going to be FUN after the first time.

The fun factor of the game should be go beyond first time spectacles. The levels need more depth.

Going back to Sonic’s “roots” meant going back to spectacle thrill fests, and the fanbase does not realize this. The era of Sonic games starting with Adventure 1 were attempts to increase depth of gameplay. They were all hit and miss, but they were games that were suitable for this era where everyone is demanding some emergent gameplay to behold. You demand Sonic roots, and you put Sega into a position where they can only strip away the depth of the games to create those spectacles. Sonic games are not selling on spectacles anymore, yet that is exactly what people are demanding. It’s counter productive. Might be a little karmic too.

Everything in this world needs a balance. Without equilibrium, shit just falls apart. Games need a balance in depth and fun factor, and unfortunately that’s only (or damn near) found in First Person Shooters primarily because of the multiplayer. There’s literally no other genre that does it better. Fighting games are a close second, but because the bar to entry is too high, most people would crowd the COD servers ready to curse out mother fuckers over the mic. Games that have equilibrium are more likely to succeed where others fail.

What is depth? Most people would assume (from SRK or other fighting game shitholes) that it is the complexity that comes with executing a move or defeating a particular boss/level, what may have you. This is not true.

Depth is merely the amount of options you have on hand to counter an obstacle, and the many secrets obtained via those options. Looking at Pokemon, just go through the fucking encyclopedic volumes of strategies you have on hand, and the games are still easy to get into. Mega Man series, again, you have many different options of tackling levels. 3D fighters (in general) give you more freedom to experiment different tactics to beat wholesale ass on your opponents (except Tekken where you get to live out your dreams as one of the Ringling brothers). Guilty Gear is probably the best example of “depth”. Lots of the retro throwbacks from the previous generation (sans DKCR and Rayman Origins to an extent) have more depth than previously expected in the amount of ways players can tackle levels (coop play the past generation just kicked ass in general because the players could interact with each other in a multitude of ways to get over obstacles, like NSMBW where one player can give another a boost to reach a ceiling pipe.) It doesn’t have to be complex. It has to have something that draws you back into the game over and over again. IE how much shit can you do in this game? How many secrets does it hold? “How deep does the rabbit hole go?”. The game essentially “evolves” the more you get into it and do.

What Sonic game actually has depth these days? You’d be hard-pressed to find one outside of maybe those racing games (Especially the first Riders). How deep were the classic Sonic games? Not very much, but they’re a helluva lot deeper than the most recent games now. Hell, 06 is probably the deepest Sonic game out there, quality be damned. Again, I point out Sonic CD. The time traveling aspect unlocks different versions of the levels. It adds replay value because you want to go through the game several times to see how the levels change through the different time periods.

Mother fucker, Sonic CD is the shit!

Sonic CD was the king of depth in this regard because you wanted to go back and see how the levels could be altered by your own actions. Shadow the Hedgehog can go the same way. Quite a  bunch of missions take you into alternate routes and different areas, giving levels more depth than once thought. It’s literally the first Sonic game that allows you to move beyond the goal ring. Sonic Adventure 2 had several secret areas in their levels, especially with the mystical song boxes. And don’t get me started on the Chao Gardens. Those elements had a fuck ton of depth (and you know it).

Sonic Colors? Well, you have red rings and little egg sim. levels. That’s about it. Sonic games are not trying to provide depth anymore, and the fan’s boredom is evident of that. Yet, for some reason, Sonic fans continue to demand the games to be like this?

The fears associated with another Shadow or another 06 have paralyzed the minds of the fans. They are literally terrified of having another disaster that they are willing to sacrifice anything else they perceive as a “threat” to Sonic’s good name. So it is of no wonder that the outcome of Sonic games are “well, that was fun!… now what?”

Infact, they’re so terrified that it’s gotten to the point that they demand the content to equate to this.

I thought I feared nothing Gye Nyame. I stand corrected!

Since when did Sonic fans turn into friggin Bronies? That’s for another post.

So, not only is Microsoft a eugenicist/population control company and using illumiroom and kinect to spy on your ass, they’re now hijacking your ability to play games that are used. It’s basically confirmed at this point that next box will have built-in DRM. Orrrr it’s a publicity stunt where the rabbid and pretentious “IQ” havers will go “Good! There’s no DRM can you now stop with the bullshit rumors!?”. Yes, those people cream themselves at wanting others to be wrong.

It’s hard to believe, but gamers actually have some damn sense. In the wake of Microsoft’s NWO policy, some folks are speaking out.

Here’s a nice list of damn good quotes from gamers over the net.

that’s just a big problem with gamers in general, it seems. Too many are far too willing to defend any terrible thing a publisher does with some of the weakest excuses I’ve ever heard. Why? We don’t owe these companies our blind love and devotion just because they put out games for us to play. Our love and devotion should be reserved for those companies that go that extra mile to do right by us.

-mjc0961 on the subject of Durango’s “Always Online” policy.

That, my friend, is the MAGIC of shareholders! 😀

You see, they don’t give a shit about your product. They just give you money and ask you to grow in order to get that money back + growth! So they want you to grow more and more and faster and faster and they don’t give a rat’s ass what you have to do to make your profits go up so theirs go up.

They basically hijack your company and force it to make more and more and more profits, regardless of your wishes for your product, and there will be hell to pay if you can’t make your stock value go up by at least a quarter of its previous value by year end…

This is what’s causing companies to go evil, be anti consumer, use sweatshops in china that employ kids, and crash themselves.

-gamegod25 on shareholders (probably explains Iwata’s constant stream of apologies… and Wii U).

A man chooses. A slave tweets his support for every choice

-Jim Sterling on Nintards.

The thing is though that I think the gaming industry as a whole is banking on the increasing rise of gamers who have never known anything but being exploited sheep. They pretty much rode the storm out, ignoring the complaints of gamers whom they realized would be coming back for their products no matter what they did… much like a Junkie does with an abusive dealer when there is nobody else to get their fix from. The big comment made by the publishers nowadays seems to be that there are a number of young 20-something gamers, starting to make their own money in substantial enough quantities to be a marketing force, who have never known anything but exploitation. It’s easy for them to look at their angry elders, mostly 30 to 40 something Gen Xers, and be dismissive because for them this is how things always were, and they happen to be used to it. What’s more for “Generation Y” there is a relatively bright future ahead as they are coming into their own when the Baby Boomers are retiring. The recession and sociological realities that decimated Generation X aren’t as big a deal for them, and they generally don’t worry too much about the cost of luxuries, especially in the future.

-Therumancer on Hardcore gamers in general.

“I think the gaming industry as a whole is pretty much looking towards this generation and that attitude as it’s big salvation, and truthfully I am beginning to think that predictions of a crash might be premature simply because most of them are based on consumers from “our” generation getting fed up with this and how we’re starting to wise up and turn our back on the practices. That doesn’t consider what happens when a conditioned Generation Y hits the market and props it right back up. Like any new generation they outnumber us, and truthfully the industry doesn’t care at that point if they lose our business or how loyal we were, or how integral to their development or becoming a big business like this.”


“The core cause of the current big publisher collapse that we’re seeing in slow motion occurring right now is that publishers aren’t scared of the consumers. That’s right, I said it. In the past, publishers were worried about sales not making profit due to not getting the word out well enough. They were scared of us so they did their damdest to make sure that they were looking to earn customer loyalty because they could not afford to do so.

Today though? Not happening. Publishers not only aren’t worried about earning customer loyalty, they expect it and demand it by essentially threatening us. They put review embargoes up, institute always on DRM, threaten to cancel accounts for consumer exercising legal rights, hack up required game content to sell piece meal, etc. because they think they hold the power. Publishers used to serve the role of providing marketing and promotion for developers and their products, now they actively hinder those efforts because they think people will buy the crap anyways. They think customer loyalty and income is some unlimited resource that they can constantly pull more out of with no recourse to feed their bloated business model.

Let’s be blunt: NO. IT’S. NOT.

It’s going to happen soon as indie markets start getting more refined and crowdfunding holds steady, putting out quality games for far cheaper and earn that loyalty that big publishers realize they don’t hold the power that they think. It’s time to make the big ticket publishers afraid of us again. It’s time they earn that loyalty instead of expecting it. And if they can’t? Screw em. Despite what the US Congress thinks, no business is too big to fail. The funeral pyre of the burning shreds of their business will be lovely during a clear, starry night.”

-LordLunder being Boss.

Right off the bat, people have to stop thinking of Microsoft as a game company, I also think referring to the xbox as part of Microsoft’s gaming division or saying Microsoft even has a gaming divisions as a whole is oxymoronic as Microsoft has a MEDIA ENTERTAINMENT division and that’s a completely different thing.

Ever since the first Xbox was released it has been Microsoft’s intent to provide a content distribution system that is accepted as a standard device in a living room simply because pcs never really have been and the end goal of this strategy has always been to become a MAJOR PLAYER in the digital distribution market with each console offering more and more functions besides gaming.

The issue is that Apple beat them to the punch

-Kael Arawn on Macroshits.

“Do you have any clue how excited most media company would be by the concept of a locked down media distribution system for home use with even a portion of the xboxs current market share? I guarantee you there’s a lot of music executives getting rather excited by the prospect right now as it offers drm control ON ALL stuff sold via the network, and Microsoft would be looking to please the people who own IP rights on this type of stuff now more than ever as making fat stacks of cash for selling other peoples product on your own digital distribution networks is a very lucrative industry practice just ask valve.

-Same, on Media industry assholes.

I think the problem is most of these executives likely either get their information from “focus” groups that mainly consist of well to do kids or parents of said kids who don’t realize, or care, that high speed internet connections are not the norm. Or the groups consist of non-technical people who don’t realize that they might not meet those bandwidth requirements because they think think any internet connection is enough. So when asked if they would be fine with an always online system they just say “Sure sounds fine”


“The gaming industry is in such a titanic climb right now that they’re about to stall straight into a nosedive.

“I think the reason they have that kind of attitude is because they are banking on sales from the kind of people who will buy the console because it’s all shiny and new rather than for any other reason. There are some people who have to have the current generation, regardless of how good or bad it is.”

-Legion, on Apple fanboys

“The games industry seems more like our banks, water, gas and electricity suppliers. Constantly screwing us over because they know they can get away with it. They show very little desire to actually keep us happy as consumers.”

I still can’t grasp why people keep buying those things when their old ones break. I understand people not wanting their gaming libraries to be inaccessible but somewhen people should realize that they are basically being shafted just so MS can save 5 cents per console for solder.
And chances are that BS like this will get even worse next gen, as they don’t seem to have to fear real consequences and people will just buy a new one if their system fails.”

-anonymous on 360’s failure rates.