Desperation is a sign of starvation. When you haven’t had a bite to eat in over a decade, people tend to reach out for anything that may just satisfy their hunger. Video games satisfied a certain craving. A certain level of accomplishment. Why Xbox “achievements” are so important to people. We all want to feel like we’ve accomplished something in life. We become desperate when the thoughts of “dying without accomplishing anything” race through our minds during the 20s. So we do anything. We find work, deal with college, or join the military. We need to validate our lives somehow. The problem is our society encourages this desire in the most negative of ways just to get profits.

I will admit one thing. I am a college drop out. No shame. I felt that after 3 years of paying an extreme amount of money to jump through hoops as a sign of accomplishment just wasn’t worth a blank check per semester. Of course, I have become a disgrace to my family, friends…..actually just my family. Quitting anything is a sign of weakness. It is to be abhorred, never encouraged. So not getting through college, combined with the amount of money wasted = terrible fucking disaster.

But dammit, I am tired of going through life jumping through hoops. To everyone, jumping through hoops is supposed to make you a “man”. To see that you can take anything anyone throws at you. To be “tough”. To be “rugged”. A test of your worth in life. Worth in this case meaning if you are willing to be a capable product, you are worth the amount of money we will pay you.

And all this came from a tiny quote from an NPC in Monster Hunter Tri. The guild “sweet heart” who says “people look up to hunters because you’re supposed to take anything they throw at you!” It makes you think about what purpose we have in our lives. Only through hardship will we be rewarded and worshipped by all. This is the idealogy of our current religion where Jesus went through hardship for everyone else’s sake.
Yeah… fuck that.

The degree to which Monster Hunter fans rage every time someone points out that their precious is a tedious snoozefest is magnificent btw.

Capcom is no stranger to having warm saliva bast their under garment members. Check out this piece of work in which an angry blogger on a “Capcom website” retorts easy target complaints of Monster Hunter FU (a fantastic acronym). tl;dr “You hate it cause you suck at it”.

I don’t understand this mentality where the hardcore immediately writes off complaints about a game and narrows it down to…. someone just having some sort of disability in playing video games in general? It’s always the player’s fault for not enjoying the game. The “nicer” version of this is the favorite “it’s not for everyone”. This retort, while much kinder and one I would encourage, is deliberate damage control. Something not being for everyone is a fact of life. This is not a good defense against a flaw of the game. If so, Superman 64 should be included in the same boat. Not be held exclusively for games you love to death.

Anywho, Monster Hunter is practically one of the least loved franchises in the West. But, because the Japanese love it, it has to be that  damn fantastic. Considering it saved the PSP in Japan, it would be ethnocentric to say the Japanese love shitty games and devices, but eh, we like shitty movies like Transformers. As many know, Monster Hunter is this “deep and complex” Action/RPG/farm sim/clusterfuck which is extoled by the hardcore as their key to exclusion from the dreaded casuals.

Of course, the only thing that’s complex about the game is simple preparation and tral and error gameplay. See, just like Resident Evil before the series stopped being shit apparently, Monster Hunter is based on “realism” to the point of absurdity. And when I say realism, I fucking mean it. For one, you cannot equip gear unless you are in your private room, just as in the real world where you can’t change clothes unless you are in the comfort of your own home…. or beating up someone and taking their clothes as a disguise or whatever. So you don’t have the option of changing gear at will. You have to be home to do so. Another issue is the need to kill monsters to make your own clothes, like in the real world where fur is murder…. except you’re justified and PETA isn’t around to splash blood on you. As well, your character has “Stamina” (yes, this is where Aonuma got his ideas from) where you can tire out from running, evading, swimming, and the only way to replenish your strength is by eating a fat juicy steak. Also, swinging big weapons is realistically SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. No Cloud Strifes in this game. Nope. Capcom shoe-horned the REALISM into this bitch. You even have to buy a ton of shit just to make new items which in itself is trial and error in that you have a certain percent chance of crafting an item or getting garbage, meaning you may have to go back out and get more materials to go back to crafting… IF you can get those materials when you want them.

So we run into the first problem of why MH didn’t take off in the west. Too much realism. Westerners only like realism in the sense of guns… and football. There’s no football, and the guns in this game have to be reloaded after 5 shots tops. That’s primative shit. Not to mention the spoilage of RPG’s that allowed you to change gear during your journey, not before and after. In action rpgs, you didn’t have incredibly limited means of attacking, IE awful mobility as well as a stamina gauge to watch out for. And don’t even abuse your weapon as it will lose it’s sharpness and possibly break. Infact, every tool you use in this game can break, meaning you’ll have to buy more shit for when they do (which is a pain in the ass for farming ores from those rocks). What this results in is a game that is more of a chore to play than an action game.

And you’re probably dulled out by the first shitty quests you’ve done, once you come to the Great Jaggi, you’re already bored to death as the Great Jaggi is nothing more than just a bigger version of enemies you’ved faced several times already. Not to mention another quest later on requires you to face the same monster again just to catch it. So first, you’ve got this realism shit shoved in which makes the game feel like dog shit… and then you bore people to death with the same monsters in a new area? After a while of fighting the same types of enemies (you basically kill the first half game enemies in the same way as usual… you just attack them over and over again), you now have the opportunity to fight some dragon bird… thing with a vocal sack. He has flight and fire breath. Your sense of strategy has been completely dulled by fighting shitty enemies by this point, now you are immediately expected to prep for this fight.

I hate you, Guild bleeding heart

Strike 3. Lack of consistency. Capcom, you cannot just throw curve balls at people so late in the game after boring the to death with tutorial monsters. They won’t learn to change up their strategies for different situations by this point. What this leads to is frustration, which eventually leads to players saying “fuck this shit”. This is just bad game design.

It’s a strange phenomenon this day in age where people defend shit like this in video games for the main sake of it being “realistic”. People don’t like a whole lot of realism in their video games, especially those where you get the opportunity to fight giant monsters. You need to be aware of what the market has been exposed to, and not assume that everything the Japanese loves will be well received by the US either. I’m shocked Capcom hasn’t made MH japan only since no one over here wants that shit.

Realism is just an obstacle to your enjoyment of a video game. Reload animations delay your ability to get back into the action after running our of caps, needing to find ink before you can save meaning you play a game as long as the game wants you to play, falling from a high place and taking damage from the ground (despite having taking leaps of faith before and coming out just fine like Mario), etc. We rarely had this shit back then, why is it so important to make games “realistic” this day in age?

Other than that, in MH, because of this realism shit, combat itself is a chore. As I’ve said before, your character attacks excruciatingly slowly. Now you have giant monsters, right? Now, if we were looking for realism, the monsters themselves would be kinda slow in many regards. Fuck no. Every giant monster moves at the speed of sound. They are limber, and are made of greased lightning. But you’re the one who’s slow. You’re the ONLY one in combat who is slow. Your evasive tactics are held back by stamina, and that’s if you don’t have your weapon unsheathed because it takes nearly 2 seconds to take your weapon out… and put it away, making you completely immobile. If you have just the sword, you basically be smashing your shortsword against his flank over and over and over again, chipping away at his wretchedly massive amount of health for half an hour because every other weapon was so fucking slow to use that he’d jump out of the way and slap you across the chops with his tail in the time it took to swing them.

You either have to try and fight skittish monsters with a warhammer, hoping to Amma that they’ll eventually calmly sit on the ground for the eighteen seconds necessary to swing the bloody giant swords…. or just say fuck this game because since every monster you fight is faster than the speed of sound despite being larger than a mountain. You’d think Capcom said fuck it and decided to watch Jurassic Park and make a guess as to how fast prehistoric predators were back then. The great Jaggi, I could forgive. Royal Ludroth and Barroth were fucking pushing it. Especially with that bullshit barrel roll shit. And this assuming you didn’t look up a guide first to prep for all of these fights beforehand

The reason why this game is forgiven despite it’s obvious signs of artificial difficulty is the same reason people keep playing SF4 despite bitching about it all the time…. like Lupasan (no offense. The guy is funny as hell, but seriously?). Because of the jackoffs that scream at you on the internet for complaining about shit like this. How is that we can look at NES games and say they were just poorly designed, buggy, glitched up fuck fests, yet accept some half-assed misguided attempts at making a so-called “challenging” experience? The hardcore asses have been crossing some fucking lines if they’re implying that a game isn’t challenging unless the difficulty is made blatantly obvious early on.

Well, it’s like I said earlier, we’re all hungry for something called “accomplishment”. We’ve become drowned in an era of artsy games with retarded skill caps so that we can experience the amazing genius of every developer in existence. The HC crowd will never admit that the games they crave are actually the games that are killing the industry. It gives Capcom so much leverage in that they can design any game in a misguided quest to offer a challenge that they make shit like Monster Hunter. And man, the Japanese must’ve been starving for an asswhipping if they allowed the PSP of all things to become a success in Japan, over the superior DS.

Video games have gotten far too easy if we are willing to accept games from Capcom like this. If MegaMan 9 wasn’t proof, the entirety of the Monster Hunter franchise is. Capcom is essentially that kind person walking by a million homeless people starving in the streets. They offer the food of “challenge” to the hardcore, and they gladly bite. Heaven help you if it also has achievements. You could feed a 3rd world country with that alone.

We’re starved for challenging games. But Monster Hunter’s piss ass realism is definitely not the way to go about it

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