When Tuskegee Airmen Pilot Clint Hawke crashes into a place of worship, a mystical artifact transforms him into Wingman, the Raptor of World War 2! Take flight as the Red Angel battles against the forces of the Third Reich, as well as enemies from within!
The concept I had for this particular character is rather interesting, cause originally when I made him up, I thought there was never any superheroes based on the Tuskegee Airmen. Silly me, there’s been several! They’re extremely obscure, ofcourse.
Funny enough, originally this was gonna be like some sort of Sentai Team, I had a mind to call it “Something Something Wingman” much like most sentai shows from the Showa Era were named, having a 5 man crew of Tuskegees fighting against some Alien invaders. But at the same time, I wanted to keep the story in line with the actual history of World War 2 without taking too many liberties, and that was… much harder for me to conceptualize because… well, with all the shit that was going on during that time, trying to make up some Sentai team that exists during WW2 is a little asinine.
Then I dropped the whole team concept altogether and went with just one guy because… I realize I’m not particularly good with managing a large cast of characters. If it’s more than 3, I start screwing up. Y’all probably saw that with the Neo Sonic DIB I wrote back in 2019. So I went with a more down to Earth (so to speak) story that’s more straight forward, easier to write around, and I’d like to think I did something decent with it. But I’ll leave that up to you guys if you’re interested.
You know how you just get these random thoughts sometimes? Like nothing spurs this on, but you just start thinking about stuff? I wasn’t playing Mega Man X, I wasn’t thinking Mega Man X, but for some damn reason, I keep wondering why they call them “Mavericks” or “Irregulars”. The name(s) doesn’t actually fit the bosses and enemies of the series due to how they’re written, OR it could have some really dark implications if it was an intentional misnomer. If you look up the dictionary term of Maverick and/or irregular, you’d find that it is the semi-perfect description of reploids in their entirety.
So here’s the thing. X is the basis for Reploids. He’s an android rather than a reploid, but he was an experimental robot created by Dr. Light to have the ability to think, feel, and make it’s own decisions. Because… I guess scientists like to play God in fiction. But as you know, he got cold feet and goes “Dear God, what I have done!?” because in truth, he was terrified of the very concept. So why the fuck did he make X!? Actually now that I think about it, the original Rock wanted to be converted into a battle robot which more than likely wasn’t in his programming, so why didn’t Dr. Light get nervous about this? What about Proto Man rebelling? This didn’t give him second thoughts about making X? Ah well, the writing in the series prior to… I think the ZX games, hasn’t really been all that well thought out, and yet it remains one of the most interesting franchises. Strange, isn’t it?! But anyways…
So the entire point of the Reploid lineage was, aside from copying Dr. Light’s work, to make an entirely new brand of robot, one of artificial intelligence, free will. Dr. Cain largely succeeded, and didn’t have the same reservations that Light did. Now… what does Maverick/Irregular mean? It means “Independent in behavior and/or thought”. And yes, that’s just one of those definitions, but Maverick and Irregular get paired together to have a singular definition, so hell with it. Now for the time being, lets disregard the localization issues. Whether you want to use the “Rebel”, or the definition of being contrary to rule or accepted order/practice, the main idea is that the Maverick label is befitted to those who are independent in their thoughts or behavior, regardless of what is “accepted”.
But then… wait a minute… isn’t the idea of a reploid to have free will!? If that’s the case, then by definition, they’re already Mavericks. Cause you see, in the original Mega Man series, every robot was created with a specific purpose in mind. They were created to do specific tasks that humans wouldn’t be able to, or would refuse to do on grounds of…. idk, laziness and/or danger. Reploids don’t (or shouldn’t) really operate under the same logic. Yes, you have Reploids that are built for certain tasks as well (like most Maverick Hunters), but if Reploids were designed to essentially have free will, designing them with specific tasks in mind is counter-intuitive and even risky, because then they’d begin to question the point of their existence. That’s always been something about science fiction and robots whether it be The Matrix, the Geth from Mass Effect, or even the Humagears from Zero One. In practically all of these works, the humans have a strict prejudice against the machines for one reason or another. Could be fear or conceit that they should “know their place”.
So again, I ask this question from the whole “Doing it Better” segment. What practical use is there of AI? Likely none. Perhaps one could come to the argument that an AI could find solutions to certain problems much faster or the like, but at the same time, AI could be prone to making mistakes much like a human. Afterall, simply having an AI doesn’t make it the smartest and most intelligent being in the world, but I’m getting off topic.
So while Cain (and likely other scientists) would be on board with creating machines with free will, it’s highly likely that the rest of society would not. People are very resistent to change to the status quo, and would reject or even disregard the notion of Reploids. Hench why so many of them in the series are still hilariously built with mundane tasks in mind. I wonder if this is why Reploids barely exist in the ZX series since humans can now combine with bio-metals, and all that are really left are mechanoloids. So when one or reploids start to rebel, they are written off as “Mavericks”. Why? Because they broke the first law of robotics. They cannot harm humans. Again… this defeats the purpose of free will, having them beholden to a set of laws that restricts their free will. Even Dr. Light was not immune to this fear, sealing X away in a capsule until his allegience with humanity was determined. This, I think, was slightly retconned in MHX where Light steered X in the direction of fighting for justice (which has even darker implications for the series as a whole considering the very idea of the Maverick Hunter, and is on a whole a rather bullshit retcon). So really, the idea of a reploid loses all meaning for the games except for MMX4, 8, and possibly even MHX. X4 is probably the only game in the series that tackles the morally gray aspect of the Maverick Hunter conception, and is why it’s the one game in the series that kicks the most ass. You have Maverick Hunters, a contingent of Reploids designed for the very purpose of hunting down other Reploids who, as Sigma puts it, “Fails to do as the Humans order!” Yeah we know he’s manipulating the General of Repliforce, but shit, he’s absolutely right! That’s their entire purpose! Reploids were designed to have free will, but are still expected to toe the line where humanity is concerned. MHX had the perfect opportunity to have this be the basis of Sigma’s rebellion, but it gets muddled with the whole “Sigma rebels because X worries too much” or some shit. Is it any wonder that so many Reploids turn out Maverick? Repliforce is the first real example (until MHX) where Reploids feel they have no choice but to rebel in order to preserve themselves. They were unfairly labeled as mavericks over a suspected attack (instigated by Maverick Hunters, so holy shit DARK implications there!), and thus feel cornered. Then they’re hunted into extinction (save for Pegasus dude in X5) for merely trying to establish their own fucking nation! Omg X4 is so perfect…
There’s more narrative weight and heavy implications in X4 than the rest of the series that just BS’s us with “oh Reploids turn Maverick because of viruses”. X8 and MHX’s notion of “going Maverick at will” should not even exist as it removes fault from the Reploids themselves and voids them of any real accountability, revoking them of their agency and being at the mercy of a mere computer virus. MHX gets this wrong by having X question how anyone can go Maverick with Zero explaining that it’s faulty programming. Though that COULD work into another aspect of the series lore by having Reploids be indoctrinated into thinking that Mavericks are the results of faulty hardware whereas the truth being the Reploids have free will, and humanity was trying to supress that free will as much as possible to PREVENT a reploid uprising, or Reploids having their own agency at all. So… much… untapped… wasted…. potential…
So the idea of a Maverick, in this sense, is merely a Reploid who doesn’t bend the knee to humanity. But because the series was written by an egotist who lacked vision, we get a validation for prejudice and supression of Reploids because “they’re just prone to becoming evil”. The Sigma Virus is the T-Virus in all but name, and the fact that X fears becoming Maverick more than anything is honestly gross. I suppose in a way, X taking a back seat in X7 (however briefly) was in fact a much better decision, him trying diplomacy for a change rather than war (iirc). It would show some maturity on his part as he’d likely see that Reploids that go Maverick could be “reformed” without eliminating them outright (unlike Zero who is just prone to killing whoever he wants because Wily Virus and angst). That perhaps their way of doing things is causing more friction between humans and reploids than not. Except… we don’t really get that at all, and it’s just wishful thinking on my part. 😦
Now that I think about it, Command Mission kinda turns X into a dipshit, going around and labeling anyone he doesn’t like a Maverick with little cause, and he’s ready to shoot anyone at the drop of a hat. I read somewhere that the writers for Command Mission thought X was too much of a pussy and wanted to make him badass, but you kinda fucked his character in the process. I don’t recall X ever questioning why Epsillon started his Rebellion, he’s all like “it doesn’t matter! You’re all a bunch of Mavericks, and I am a Maverick Hunter!” Talk about missing the point of the character! I don’t know why “Badass” becomes synonymous with “Apathetic psychopath” these days, but X’d be the first one to try diplomacy before war, and he… doesn’t do this at all in CM. He’s essentially become the 2nd worst version of what a Maverick Hunter is. An unthinking, unfeeling Reploid (sorry… “Android”) who hunts down any Reploid who fails to do as the Humans order. In that sense, Dr. Light got exactly what he wanted. An Ascetic Android who questions nothing.
I think if the writers stuck to a more morally gray interpretation of Mavericks, the X series would be more of a timeless series than just a series of games that people merely enjoy more than the OG series just because it’s darker and edgier. The introduction of viral corruption ruins the narrative implications of machines with free will being the catalyst for rebellion, and validates the misnomer. Shit like that keeps people from suggesting that “Sigma was right all along”.
When Tuskegee Airmen Pilot Clint Hawke crashes into a place of worship, a mystical artifact transforms him into Wingman, the Raptor of World War 2! Take flight as the Red Angel battles against the forces of the Third Reich, as well as enemies from within!
_____________________
Bit of an admission, I actually finished this around last year, but I wanted to see if I could get a redrawn cover.
Wasn’t able to.
Well, considering America is about to default on its loans and we’re practically on the verge of a world war, I don’t have the luxury of waiting, so sometime by the end of this month, expect Wingman to finally release!
If you ever wondered why Jesus wept, it is because he began to question his father’s folly. What thou has God wrought upon the earth!? He wrought upon us a film so astronomically terrible that it almost puts Joss Whedon to shame.
Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero (Ugh… that title) is the perfect reason to start drinking again as it’s an example of why some franchises need to just end at some point. When they run on too long, you get mess like this. To summarize how terrible this film is, consider the following.
Bulma uses the Dragon Balls to wish for a bigger ass. Beerus thirsts up that green chick from the Broly movie Johnny Bosh is voicing Broly and not Vic The villain is a Kaijuu 2nd Stage Cell.
If that’s not enough to send you running headlong into a 4 alarm fire in a rampant desire to take the pain away, I am frightened by your mental fortitude and wish to know what planet you are from.
So lets just get this out of the way. The only good parts of the film are Pan, and the fact that the focus is on Gohan and Piccolo, making it… not as annoying as the last 3 movies which boiled down to Goku and Vegeta dick measuring contests (though that nonsense is also present, fuck me I am literally sick of Goku and Vegeta at this point). It was also great to see kid Pan again as that version was only ever present in the last 2 episodes of DBZ. That… is…. it.
Furthermore, and you already know the title of this blog… the CGI animation isn’t as terrible as people have made it out to be. It’s a little jarring and distracting, but the action doesn’t suffer as much as I had originally thought it would. It’s servicable, but indeed it could be better. At least the characters don’t look like moving robots… most.. of the time. I’m more annoyed by the touch screen cell phones everyone’s rocking.
But for all the reasons this movie is a massive load of tripe aside from the top 4 that I put up there, lets dig in a little. This film is nostalgia-bait in all but name. They brought back the red ribbon army yet again in order to relive the glory days of the Android Saga. This is how they chose to bring Gohan out of retirement, yet with some slight confirmations that this film isn’t canon (don’t quote me on that), this is a hollow gesture to older fans of the series (myself included) that felt cheated out of seeing Gohan’s greatness after Japanese fans bitched out Toei for getting rid of Goku the first time. Furthermore, this film should really be called “the Adventure of Piccolo” because Gohan is barely in this. I don’t have an issue with it because Piccolo is muh boi, but so was Gohan, and he’s practically sidelined until the end of the movie.
So the story is this. The alleged son (or grandson) of Commander Red seeks out the son or grandson of Dr. Gero to create Androids and pretty much get revenge on the Z fighters for destroying the Red Ribbon Army in the first place. This is a laughable gesture because the Z fighters are like a bajillion times too damn strong for anything these guys could do. But because the writers for this series are perpetually on cocaine, the excuse is that the actual strongest people available… just aren’t available. Instead, those idiots are STILL training on Beerus’s planet with the excuse that they’re trying to help Broly out. I swear Goku and Vegeta don’t do shit else but train like nutjobs, how did they keep a marriage going when they’re away all the time!? But because of that, the stakes are artificially higher because Toriyama never bothered to develop the others to where they can match Goku and Vegeta. Those 2 are so powerful that their absence automatically creates tension. They have done this for practically every saga of Dragonball Z, btw. Saiyan Saga, Goku is killed off leaving the planet in Piccolo’s hands until Goku comes back. Namek Saga, Goku is crippled so Krillin and Gohan have to get the Dragon Balls from Namek. Garlic Jr. the fucking premise is this trope. Android Saga, Goku has a heart attack so the world is left to punk ass Vegeta and his bitch made son, but then Gohan becomes the hero. Maijin Saga, Goku… actually isn’t sidelined as much, but still… left in the hands of other characters. When Goku and Vegeta are so powerful that they have to be the ones to save the day over and over to the point that when they AREN’T around that everyone starts to freak out, you have a problem with writing.
Anywho, as this is Nostalgia bait, Piccolo uses a lot of old and outdated methods of powering himself up, like upgrading the Eternal Dragon to have 3 wishes, using the Dragon to unlock Piccolo’s full potential, growing several feet tall, etc. I suppose Toriyama has a bad habit of not keeping track of what these characters can do. Hell, Vegeta never used Gallick gun from Saiyan Saga up until Battle of Gods, it was all about Big Bangs and Final Flashes.
Speaking of Piccolo, Chris Sabat is at his absolute FUCKING worst in this film! I’m sure his fame is going to his head as he’s been doing voice work for more than just anime. You can hear his cringe in Train to Busan and it’s inferior sequel, The Witch 2, Borderlands 3 (eww) and the like. But I get the feeling Sabat was so confident in his position as the 4 way voice actor that he didn’t even bother to TRY voice acting! In the past, he would differentiate his voice between Piccolo, Yamcha, Vegeta, and the Eternal Dragon, making all 4 of them sound distinct and unique from each other. Here… Piccolo LITERALLY sounds like Yamcha and Vegeta fighting to say the same lines. You won’t hear his Piccolo voice for most of the film, which is completely jarring and awkward because you just KNOW how Piccolo is supposed to sound. Bring back Scott McNeil, goddammit!
But… moving on. Piccolo is a glorified baby-sitter and trainer for Pan. I actually don’t have a problem with this. The thing I take issue with is the ol’ “Father doesn’t have time for his family” schtick. Wow! Just… wow!! That horrible cliche!!! In my Dragonball! Wha… why!? If not Gohan, then get Goku! That brain dead moron would be more than happy to train and babysit Pan! Oh right, HE’S STILL FUCKING WITH BEERUS!!! I’m not even gonna talk about that scene on Beerus’s planet. I’m just… sick of that grouping, of Goku, Vegeta, Beerus, and Whis. It’s old, it’s dead, and having Broly there does nothing.
So Videl asks Piccolo to pick up Pan because Gohan is too busy with a research project (Wtf!? This nigga has a job!? Videl is rich! Just as rich as Bulma! What is this shit!? You assholes have a goddamn MANSION! What are you working for?! Chi Chi, you ruined everything!). Piccolo rightfully gets pissy about the ordeal and confronts Gohan on it. Shit happens, Piccolo says Gohan hasn’t done any training, and even calls him wimpy for not being able to wear his weighted cape because we once again have to drive home the fact that Gohan was buried under rabbid Goku and Vegeta fanboys. But never fear! That’s just to service the fans later on.
But whatever, Piccolo drops her off, but is then attacked by SH2, the cartoon ass android who’s attacks carry captions for sound effects, something that Piccolo has to point out because it’s funny. I hate everything. So Piccolo gets his ass whooped, but no so badly that he can’t fly around undetected. He follows SH2 to their Red Ribbon Army base, and disguises himself as an RR soldier, and just… casually infiltrates the place. The Grandsons discuss their plans to destroy the Z-Fighters and reveals that they have “Cell Max” to make me cringe. Piccolo wants to call Goku, but that idiot is a million light years away, so he calls Bulma to try and call him, but they’re eating Ice Cream so they can’t pick up. Toei wants to burn the world in a sea of stupid.
So Piccolo goes to Kami’s lookout to get Dende to help him power up, but because we have to drag the movie out, Dende just can’t do it. But he makes it so the Eternal Dragon can grant 3 wishes, so Piccolo demands the Dragon Balls to “rock the dragon”, back to earth, Piccolo wishes for more power (why doesn’t anyone just wish for the bad guys to die!?), and now he’s… slightly more yellowish green to indicate it. But because he’s done with his wishes, Bulma takes advantage and wishes for the glutes of a Black Woman. This film increased the sales of alcohol by 1000%, fyi.
So he infiltrates the base again, and lets it slip that he knows Pan personally, so he and another dude go out to kidnap her. Because Pan could kill this guy easily, Piccolo has her play along with being kidnapped (despite the fact that she kicked his ass earlier). They take a picture or.. recording of her struggling to break free, and then pay Gohan a visit to show her being captured. Piccolo lets this all happen because it’s the only way for Gohan to get off his ass and do something. I must say, Piccolo’s ability to manipulate people is terrifying yet satisfying. So Gohan unlocks his badass mode and goes to the Red Ribbon Base… to get fucked up by SH1. The red, more SERIOUS android. Yeah I forgot to mention these androids have personalities, but they’re barely in the movie for anyone to give a shit. So Piccolo pretends to be strangling Pan just for Gohan to power up.
And then I realized something. Gohan really HASN’T spent any time with Pan! If he did, he’d at least think “wait a minute! Pan’s my daughter! Shouldn’t she be able to handle some simple grunts like this!? Wow, maybe I SHOULD be training her, Piccolo’s been slippin!” Ah whatever. Gohan goes Mystical after a billion years and does… slightly better than usual. After a while, the base gets destroyed a little, and Piccolo decides to reveal himself, and he has a rematch with SH2… and STILL gets his ass whooped! But he falls into the water, and activates his… ORANGE STEROID FORM! This… is so stupid. They tried to make him look like a more badass Lord Slug, but it just doesn’t work. Steroidolo beats SH2 and thrashes some Ribbons around before the Grandsons awaken Cell Max. Now we haev a glorified Kaijuu battle, and Krillin, 18, Goten and Trunks all join in the battle. Yeah, they just randomly show up to remind you that they’re in the movie. Yeah Bulma claims she called them up for backup, but these guys are the equivalent of Cyborg in the Justice League. They’re LITERALLY not even close to Gohan, let alone Piccolo. But whatever, Cell Max. Steroidolo makes his monster grow… sorry, I don’t even know why I said that (damn Power Rangers special) and he tries to hold back Cell Max long enough for Gohan to be traumatized into a new form. Can you guess what it is? He has bigger hair that’s now colored Silver!
OH DEAR LORD, IT’S ULTRA INSTINCT!!!
Yes bitches! Gohan has unlocked Ultra Instinct via the power of friendship! This movie is so dumb! Not only did Piccolo manipulate Gohan 3 times to get a reaction out of him, now he’s pulling Saiyan forms out of his buttcrack! So you could’ve killed Goku’s friends over and over, and he would’ve gotten UI in no time!
So… Gohan does a variation of the Masenko, combined with Piccolo’s Special Beam cannon… *Sighs*… yah know, that would’ve been cooler if I was still in grade school, but it just falls flat for me here. If they really wanted to drive home the nostalgia, Gohan would’ve ended it with a one-handed Kameha Wave.. hyper casually, but lets give him some weird new move at the last second. Cell Max is destroyed, the Red Ribbon Army is defeated yet again… oh yeah, one of those Androids killed himself trying to fight Cell Max, and I could not give 2 damns. Oh and Pan learns to fly because… that was a thing, she couldn’t fly and… I don’t care. Still the only decent part of the movie, but I really didn’t care that she could fly. And Goku and Vegeta had finished their pissing contest, they were both so tired that Vegeta could only… slowly… nudge Goku onto the ground, and that’s declared a victory for him. Evidence that Toriyama doesn’t want to have a decisive match between the 2, and I still couldn’t care. I’m so sick of Goku vs Vegeta dick swinging contests.
I know I barely described much of the plot, but that’s because it’s pure ass! A lot of the plot boils down to antics that try to make you laugh. None of it is funny, and then Japanese writers get pissy and wonder why those “Baka Gaijin” criticise their works half the time. Super Hero is terrible, and it’s precisely because it demands that you take nothing seriously. It is a glorified comedy and nothing more. Bathos writ and large. Because of that, it’s impossible to care about anything. It feels like this movie was written for children! Dragon Ball had come to a point where this should NOT be the case! You can go back and watch some of the older Dragon Ball movies and see just how fucked up they can get! I’m talking Goku fighting the devil, Trunks and Gohan punching through people’s torsos, Android 14 falcon punching Goku in the balls, Babies getting stabbed, steroid fruits, Piccolo tearing off his ears… I mean, the movies don’t get as fucked up as the series at times, but they were gritty when they needed to be. Ever since Battle of Gods, Dragon Ball has been reduced to nothing but mere parody. Everything from Frieza being a bitch to Goku being turned into a massive retard has all the makings of degradation. Goddammit, in the Broly film, Frieza spends a good minute rehashing an old joke from OG Dragon Ball where Commander Red wanted to get taller! That is so stupid! At least it’s understandable from Red’s position, he doesn’t have super powers and is insecure about his subjects looking down on him. Frieza was once one of the most powerful beings in the goddamn universe! With just one finger in her… “his” base form, he could wipe out an entire planet! What the fuck do you care that you’re a few feet taller!? What are you compensating for!?
Super Hero is such a massive waste of time that I regret paying $17 for it. There’s just no effort to make this a worthwhile film. The older movies didn’t rehash plots from the series, they all had original stories and ideas. And up until Bio Broly, they’re watchable after the first time. But nowadays, the creators only seem to be interested in deconstructing and degrading this series, turning it into a parody of itself, it’s frustrating. All you can ask is “why”? I can tell you for a fact that people don’t love Dragon Ball for it’s comedy.
For once, I’d like a franchise that I love dearly to not turn into poop. It’s just inevitable. Marvel, Resident Evil, Sonic, now we gotta put Dragon Ball on this list. Hell, it’s BEEN on this list, but I held out hope for no reason other than optimistic denial. This movie sucks. Do not watch it. Just… destroy it. Take it out back and piss all over the disc. Toei’s done their fair share of pissing, you might as well return the favor.
Egh…. ugh… maybe “ending the franchise” is a bit too extreme. It’s either the writers or the executives pushing for this new direction, this hyper focus on comedy and childish antics. Same shit that happened to Godzilla back in the Showa Era because Ultraman was killing it, but I don’t see the logic behind doing this now for Dragon Ball. Is it because of One Piece? Idk, with all the breast meat that series shows off, I doubt there’s any motivation to steer Dragon Ball away from older audiences based on that. It’s just… we’ve seen how great this series was back in the day, and while they had comedy, it wasn’t the core focus of the series. Prior to that godawful Majin Saga, the series could get really… fucking… dark! There was high level tension everywhere, there was drama, the action was perfection, and character deaths were meaningful. Frieza was a threat (for one saga at least), and (again) prior to the Majin saga, EVERYONE got their time to shine… well… except Yamcha, he’s always getting shitted on despite being probably the only character to invent his own goddamn techniques. To see this series devolve into childish antics is absolutely frustrating. It’s like what I said about Sonic, this series grew up with you from the light hearted Dragon Ball to the much darker and edgier DBZ. It basically that this was the life long series for long time fans. But I guess some hipsters got control of the series and said “No, fuck you. We want the money of autistic elementary kids instead because they’re more likely to buy our toys so long as we dye Goku’s hair every 2 years or so.” It wouldn’t be so bad if it was just one or two franchises, but this shit is happening all across the board. Even 80s cartoons aren’t safe from modern castration, whether it’s He-Man or the Thundercats. People don’t have any respect for these properties and will just mine them for easy money while eroding the hearts and souls of each and every single one of them.
And they can get away with it too. That’s the most damning part of all.
I think I can speak for everyone when I say that Capitalism has completely bastardized our very concept of value, a concept that leaves the majority of people feeling, for lack of a better term… alienated from the rest of the world. So alienated, infact, that you might even begin to gaslight yourself. Question your own beliefs, your own values, your morality even. Questioning just…. what in the fresh hell we’ve been advocating for.
So… I tried watching this Voltron Reboot on Netflix (which… yeah, it’s Netflix, it’s bound to be trash, but curiousity dooms me yet again), and tuned out after about… 30 mins of the first episode or two after Coran was introduced via comical flying Dragon Kick. My immediate reaction to that was “fuck this show”. I might not have been the biggest fan, but I loved Voltron back in the day. How did it go?
“Voltron! Defender of the Universe! A Mighty Robot! Loved by Virtue! Feared by Evil!”
How can anyone watch that intro… and not think this is the most badass cartoon out there!?
True it hasn’t aged well, but all the reboot seemed to do was make the characters obnoxious (like a lot of modern writing, it seems). Keith’s an asshole, Lance is a clown, Coran is silly, Hunk is a coward… and I haven’t seen enough of Allura to give a damn about what they did to her, though her introduction spells nothing but doom (I like her redesign, though. And no, it’s got nothing to do with her being bla- oh, wait a minute… *read’s spoiler* Oh OF COURSE she gets killed off!). At least Pidge’s voice doesn’t grate my ears. But like that Castlevania…thing, this reboot lasted for 8 seasons, and is “immensly popular”. Why? According to everyone that loves the show, there’s less Voltron on Robeast action, but more focus on character interactions. Specifically for Alphabet shipteases. I can’t think of a more appropiate example of “missing the point” of a giant robot that kicks the shit out of alien evildoers. I’m honestly sick of everything turning into these sappy teen dramas that focus so much on sexual tension and personal insecurities. That’s… IF… what people say is true. But so far, I don’t like what I saw. I don’t like that Lance is a court jester. He kicked the most ass in OG Voltron, traversing the whole damn galaxy to find a cure for a sickness, fighting Lotor one on one on par with Keith, Lance was a fucking beast! Now he’s…. sour about being inferior to Keith for some reason. Yeah I get it, their personalities were kinda flat in OG, but they had distinctive personalities enough for them to be distinguishable. You damn sure knew Hunk ain’t no bitch! Hunk would be the guy to throw down more than anyone else! Reboot Hunk is kind of a pussy. Why these massive changes/flanderizations to their personalities, I will never know. Y’all know how I am when it comes to changes to characters, it drives me up the walls! It ain’t like Lance shit talked to compensate for some flaws, he could back up his words! But what do I know, it’s the most successful Netflix Cartoon of the modern age. About the only thing interesting about OG Voltron nowadays is playing guessing games on what level of gore and depravity got edited out from GoLion.
But then… I had to stop and consider why I found myself preoccupied with the general consensus of a series I haven’t even watched all the way through. Perhaps to get a rather vague idea of the show’s quality, see if that first impression matches the rest of the series in stupidity… or perhaps it’s more leftover baggage on my part.
I’ve mentioned before that people often judge one’s intellect based on their tastes when talking about why most people have a low opinion on Sonic fans. Maybe it’s an exclusively American thing, I don’t know, but it’s one of our biggest vices. We will absolutely drag people through the mud for loving or hating particular works of fiction or having particular hobbies. I could say that I don’t have a high opinion of “The Dark Knight” film (which I don’t), and people will scorch my ass to kingdom come if they got the opportunity. And yes, I know I haven’t been any better about this.
Shooting the shit about movies and games is, honestly, dumb fun. Arguing about junk entertainment, about which is better or worse, was harmless for the most part because hell, it’s all opinions at that point. You could talk about whether you think Star Wars is better than Star Trek, or if you think Superman could kick Goku’s ass, and not give a fuck about it the next minute or so. These would be the good times before the internet came about to ruin the world. Suddenly, you get bombarded with arguments that have nothing to do with subjectivity. “Success” becomes the final verdict on quality. Success by way of that which makes the most money. Money and Sales indicates behavior, indicates interest, indicates influence. Afterall, if the masses like it, “it’s doing something right”. Or so the argument goes.
After a while, the notion of having an individual perspective on fiction becomes laughable. Success is something that you cannot argue against. No one bothers trying. To do so equates to trying to climb up a waterfall with nothing but your barehands. For instance, you could be arguing if you think the PS1 is better than the N64. Normally, you have people just talking about their favorite games and whether they believe them to be better or worse than those on the opposing platform. But then some asshole pipes up and declares “Hey, PS1 is better because they sold more consoles than N64”. That becomes the debate ender, or the coward’s trump card. At that point, you’re arguing against the masses. An entire army of supporters. You could try, but at that point, you’re merely compensating for the fact that you hold a minority/unpopular opinion in that discourse. This becomes asinine as the majority of people who have any sort of discussion online are almost exclusively of the minority/unpopular opinion.
So what happens is that you start becomng hyper-focused on how well a particular piece of fiction performs. How much money it pulls in, how many sales it makes, how many people are engaged with it, etc. Because at that point, you are trying to validate your own beliefs. “My opinion, my tastes in media, is not important unless the masses say they are” so to speak. That by itself is reinforced by the “law of good business” that says whatever sells the most gets more exposure. The existence/survival of the things you enjoy are held hostage by their level of success (profitability). So that is sort of a reinforcing mechanism. You cannot continue to enjoy something (beyond a certain installment) unless the majority does. So what if you like F-Zero GX? It didn’t sell well, so you get no more F-Zero. So what if you enjoyed Custom Robo? It didn’t sell well, so you get no more Custom Robo. But these kids over here? They LOVED and BOUGHT Fire Emblem, so they get more Fire Emblem. They LOVED and BOUGHT Pokemon, so they get more Pokemon. You can go cry in a corner.
So… 2 possible outcomes. We either move on to other franchises if possible, or we start questioning the logic. The hows and the whys behind… well… why certain things are successful. “There’s got to be a logical explanation as to why these things excel where others fail”. That’s where all these would-be business gurus/capitalists come in online. The Sean Malstroms, the Jason Blacks, the… Asian dude who’s name I forgot who talked about not doing what you like but doing what it takes, these are the folks that have “all the answers” to life’s many dilemmas, strictly from the perspective of capitalism. They make grandiose explanations of how things work in a business sense, speak of work ethic, of what it means to be a “valuable person”. The important distinction from other… “explainers” for lack of a better term, is that the Business Guru/Capitalist comes from (or projects) a position of power. Power in the sense that they “just know” what it takes to succeed. They can predict success with nigh prophetic accuracy. Their level of insight has the most weight. They have authoritative influence by way of determining and dictating success (and/or projecting it).
Soon enough, we might find ourselves taking on their mentality, their philosophy, even their world view. We may not necessarily agree with everything they say, but we rarely question or debate with their logic because you perceive them to be more powerful than you. Wiser, astute and having a larger sphere of support and influence. To even think of challenging their wisdom is more likely to end up with you being mortified publicly. The Gurus tend to make humiliation and shaming one of their pasttimes, and their supporters love them for this. In a sense, it’s a form of intimidation, proving their power and intellect through debate and verbal thrashing. And even when they aren’t doing this, there is a significant level of gaslighting and shaming of certain peoples that make up for this (most of those manospheric types LOVE this level of dickory). As a consequence of keeping with that successful image, they have to point out what makes people failures so that they can dictate to their audiences of what to “theoretically” avoid doing. This, unfortunately, leads them to basically writing off the vast majority of people as idiots for not finding better ways of making money. I’m reminded of this one NPC from Yakuza Kiwami 2 who basically says “There’s only 2 kinds of people in the world. Those who know how to make money, and those who don’t”. That’s often the thought process behind the Business Minds. Human beings are expenses. If you can’t find a use for one or two of them, they are of “no value” and must be purged to save money. Some might even suggest, horrifically so, that they’re better off dying in a hurricane because they’re so “useless”. This is why so many Corporations are tantamount to sociopaths and misanthropes. People are expendable objects to be used or disposed of if they cannot produce “value” (money) for them.
So because they, for the most part, know more than you, you go along with their rhetoric. Discussion and discourse over entertainment suddenly boils down to matters of profitability and popularity. We start scouring for NPD numbers and all other shit we never cared about before now. Most of the time, it’s just to win arguments, not to have a better understanding of why things sell. We tell ourselves that we are enlightened. That we see the world for how it really is. But in truth, we merely used “business” as a proxy to criticize other people’s interests for the salvation of our egos. We started taking the side of the most successful properties to “stick it” to the likes of annoying and/or over-zealous fandoms with a smug sense of satisfaction. Justifying the mockery with sales figures. Replacing terms like “series” with “IP” or “Property”, just to sound more intelligent and professional, bolstering an intimidating image. All the while telling ourselves that we knew more than the plebian fandoms.
On the other hand, yes, they did infact give us a better understanding of what generally works and what doesn’t to entice people to games and movies. At the very least, we didn’t have to spend several forum posts trying to find the answers, you would know instinctively without much thought. Or you’d think you know. If not that, you could make a pretty decent guess. But you might come to a bit of a disconnect. What if you happen to like works that don’t sell? You might be deep into the “business minded” BS as others would, but then for you, you might not necessarily like the Call of Duty’s, the Maddens, the Open World Schlock, and all other franchises that consistently sell well. I’ve seen this line of thought on forums where one person would ask that “if a game selling well means it’s of higher quality, how do you enjoy something that doesn’t sell”? It was a sincere question, he/she wasn’t there to troll. Folks there were telling him “you still have your own tastes and preferences, you don’t HAVE to like whatever’s making the most money.” But it’s easy to see why they would think that way. You apply business logic to anything, you start assigning a value to them based, almost exclusively, on how much money they make. How well it sells. How popular it is. You start telling yourself that your own personal tastes don’t matter, sometimes unconsciously, so long as the majority deems the work unfit for them. Sometimes you even get a little insecure about it.
And we never stop to think “hey, we don’t have a business, we don’t have any financial stake in whether these games succeed or fail, why do they care about that detail?” Cause of that damn ego.
Again… again, people dictate your intellect from your tastes. If you enjoy something that isn’t “mass market”, you are derided for it. If you like something that isn’t popular, you are derided for it. If you like something that is hated, you are derided for it. How often have you seen film critics lambast a popular movie like say “Guardians of the Galaxy” merely because they happen to like something like “Detective Pikachu” or say “Amazing Spiderman 2”. 2 films that aren’t popular, certainly the latter being despised. To enjoy them is to be written off as having “bad taste”, and being incapable of judging quality filmmaking (which, in the example provided, would be the highest form of irony, but I digress). Being successful (profitable) is just icing on the cake since that, again, cannot be argued against. It’s the #1 indicator that it’s doing something right. How often have you seen Tekken games being advertised as the “best selling fighting game franchise in the world”? If you have a copy of any Tekken game, look at the back of the box, and I guarantee you will see that shit on at least 3 of them. That in itself is a selling point. People (much like that one poster) assume right off the back that “most successful” equates to “high quality”. They will not distinguish the 2 because everyone is brought up to believe that “success” is automatically good. Whatever makes the most money is good. Success, Popularity, doesn’t matter. It’s ALL good.
So you’re thinking “ok? Why should I care if it’s successful and popular? I can still just play whatever I want, right”? Sure… if you’re willing to play alone. Thank you internet for being a reinforcing mechanism.
Fighting games, I had someone ask me a question a long time ago (on this blog iirc) about how you can even enjoy fighting games if you don’t have people to play with. Honestly, I couldn’t answer it. It was a damn good question. Fighting games are simply NOT built to be played alone. The arcades died out, so that’s out of the question. Inviting folks over to your house for some matches is out of the question when you get too old (plus Covid). So your only other outlet is the internet. But then if you have something like “Fighting Ex Layer” and you want to fight on that, you’re shit out of luck. Everyone is playing Street Fighter or Tekken, the 2 most successful fighting games out there. No one is going to drop those for something so obscure and unknown, especially when considering the genre requires a certain level of dedication in the first place that just dropping one game for the next is more difficult than people expect if they’re not well versed in the genre. And if you happen to not like either of those games, well them’s the breaks kiddo, all you have is an AI opponent with difficulty spikes and input reads. Single player games exist, but if there are elements of certain obscure titles that you wish to inquire about, well them’s the breaks too. Because of that level of obscurity, almost no one has a single thought to add to it. Need help with said obscure title, also tough. Most guides these days are for gaining trophies and achievements. Actual indepth walkthroughs are practically non-existent because… well… no one cares about what they haven’t heard about. You’re more likely to find indepth guides on the graphical fidelity of Tifa Lockhart’s bust size in 4KHD than you are in finding a decent map of all the collectibles in “The Mummy Demastered” (REALLY… good game there, btw). A lot of people like to praise indie games, but they fall into the same category. They’re obscure, and there are less avenues to discuss and inquire while the most successful and popular (mainstream bloated AAA titles) are all the rage. And if we’re being honest, if there’s less buzz, there will be less engagement. Much of your enthusiasm of certain games and movies are nearly co-dependent on the level of excitement surrounding it. Even if you tell yourself that you don’t have an interest in the hottest topic out there, there is some measure of pressure to see what all the fuss is about. Curiousity will often get the better of you. Not to mention indie titles are horrendously short and low on replay value as they are, so for the most part, this is practically unavoidable as a consequence.
So… no, you “shouldn’t care”. But if the conditions for you not caring about what the general populace thinks are unfavorable, you WILL care whether you like it or not. Sadly, this leads to some level of insecurity that what you personally value is of no value at all, so you give it up to join the crowd more or less. This is painful for a number of reasons, but the main one is this. There’s a little bit of you in everything you enjoy. People often talk about wanting to watch a show or play a game that they can personally relate to. Something that’s relevent to their interests. The work in question is a reflection of you. This is why people fuss and fight over fiction online so much, and why people get angry when the works go a way that doesn’t sit well with them. It’s why I find the typical “reddit” notions of “people who identify with games are sad pathetic idiots” short-sighted and unreasonable. And dammit, that’s probably why I despise the idea of Spider-Man sucking up to Iron Man in the MCU! Ultimately, you attach yourself to the works you love. Why you become so passionate about them, why you frequently engage in discussions about them. So if what reflects you isn’t successful, you’re…. well, you’re gonna take that a little personally. You grow up in a society that praises capitalism as second to Godhood, it’s a society that tells you that success, wealth, and popularity are the most important aspects of life to achieve. If what you value doesn’t meet those criteria… well you already know. There’s a lot of social conditioning that goes into thinking that success/wealth is bar none the end goal. And the economy being so shit is a reinforcing mechanism.
You know, it always amazes me that we can find all the flaws in Capitalism, but mother fuckers will cling to that shit for life. You can’t even say “Yah know, capitalism is kinda fucked up!” without people losing their ever-loving shit! You’re a commie bastard, you’re a socialist, you might not even know what the fuck those words mean, but you’re everything under the label of wanting a handout. Or is that the stereotype on Gen Y? Idk, all these compartmentalisations get confusing after a while of rebranding out of convenience.
So in a way, you are giving up a part of yourself to be a part of “something greater”. The majority wins, they have another sucker-… I mean… willing participant as a part of their in-crowd, and you get to enjoy everything that everyone else is… if you actually are enjoying it.
In other words, they got me fucked up. In a weird way, even though I tried to fight against it, I start to feel alienated from shit that is “the best selling” whatever, not because they’re successful (though I’m sure y’all will assume it to try and label me as “jealous” and thus automatically discredited) but merely because the shit that is “the best” tends to relate more to assholes. I couldn’t stomach anymore of the MCU because most of the characters were unlikable jerks with Iron Man being the literal posterboy of that shit. Can’t vibe with new school Sonic because he’s a douchebag who “tries” to be cool. Cannot deal with anything Michael Bay makes because for him, assholes are the kings of the world. Fuck Gokaiger for the uptenth time for the same reasons. Everything “successful” seems to have assholes at the center of them. Assholes make too much money. Gaming Industry is full of assholes, makes more money than Hollywood as they say. Youtube has tons of assholes who go on tirades about wokeness, they break bread. It comes to a point where success becomes synonymous with assholes… I think I just described capitalism in a nutshell.
I wish I was kidding, but at the very least, that’s how it feels. Business/Success Gurus come off like the biggest assholes. A lot of their rhethoric tends to be disingenuous “Brutal Honesty/Boot strap” nonsense that more or less encourages division amongst people. It does no one any favors to look upon others with derision for not meeting (their) expectations. And because they speak from those power/authoritative positions (projections or otherwise), it gives people the idea that their words are law. But that’s another topic altogether. The point I’m trying to make is that once you take on this mindset of “success is everything”, you start taking on unhealthy ideas. Things that you value, things that you enjoy, you see less value in because… everyone else doesn’t. And by extension (reflection and all), you perceive yourself to have less value. For me, that Voltron Reboot was something of a reminder.
I could talk your ear off about the OG show all the time, but I know for a fact that people would still find the OG show destestable by way of the characters being “boring” or some easy targets like the dub being shit. But you know, I like that. I like the fact the characters were goody two shoes, doing everything they can to help people no matter where they are in the universe. Lance stood out the most because he went out, on his own, to another planet to find a cure to a deadly poison that would’ve killed everyone on Aris (I think that’s how it’s spelled), but also having it where the other guys can still defend the castle from the Drule attacks if they happen, and gets into a duel with Lotor in the process, that was the most badass moment on the show! Instead here in the reboot, you got Lance trying to save… idk, the Chris Redfield looking dude, but he spent that whole time getting pissy that Keith didn’t remember him from flight school, and I’m like “dafuq, Lance wouldn’t waste time doing this shit!” Idk if Lance in Golion was this much of a dipshit, but I get the impression that the creators behind the Voltron Reboot came from the mindset that “Voltron dub sucked shit” so we gotta everything about it. Calling the Drule Empire “Galra” which was their Japanese names is a dead giveaway. Idk how Lance was in Golion, but I can probably guess he and Keith got into spats on par with Leo and Raph. There was a moment in Episode…. 11 I think with the bloody fire rain shit where Lance randomly throws a punch at Keith for seemingly no reason, and I’m like “dude, what the fuck was that for!?” Cause yeah, the dub did NOT explain that at all! 😛
But again, the characters were fine the way they were, and they all showed some awesome and stand up qualities, cheesy as they are. But these are “perfect characters” and thus, they are boring, so we have to reinvent them and make them douchebags for one reason or other. Coran was the final nail with him being this overly cartoonish body guard of sorts, and if you watched the old cartoon, you’d probably hate this change as much as I did. Probably… but again, one of the more successful cartoons on Netflix. “They’re doing something right”. Like… like they’re selling out. Goddamn this baggage.
Now… how did it go again?
“Activating Interlock! Dynatherms Connected! Infracells Up! Megathrusters are go! LETS GO VOLTRON FORCE!!”
Yah know, sometimes I envy the 80s. They made whatever crazy shit they wanted back then, and no one cared.
“Shattered Circuits… can’t keep a baaaaaad witch down!”
Aww man, We are watching goddamn POWER RANGERS!
I watched the Power Rangers Reunion special weeks ago, and meant to… well, blog about it, but got held up by America’s moronic farce of a Judiciary system (seriously, fuck Jury Duty). So now that such pissery is done, LET THE HYPE COMMENCE!
Firstly… I absolutely LOVED the fact that Walter Jones and David Yost came back! Those 2 deserve SOMETHING after being fucked over for years by Haim Saban and Fox’s unrelenting desire to be cheap and harrassful. That… isn’t even a word. But big up for managing to get the unsung heroes of Power Rangers back! Billy was my favorite ranger growing up, dammit, he DESERVED a second chance! But Walter!? Goddamn, he just shows why he was superior to Johnny Bosch! This mother fucker can act! Or… maybe he isn’t acting. Throughout the special, it looked like he was going to have a emotional breakdown in every scene that brought up Trini’s death. He almost had me fucked up on multiple occassions, like “Dude! Tone down the feels!” Don’t know if that was impressive acting or that shit was real. Damn Walter, you put Jason Faunt from Time Force to shame!
So the story of the special practically disregards most Power Rangers after the Zordon Era since the plot involves the desire for time travel… when Time Force exists and they’re not acknowledged at all. Billy found the old command center and rebuilt it into “Cranston Tech” iirc… not the most original of names, but he uses it as a secret research facility. His desire was to try and ressurect Zordon after his noble sacrifice from “In Space” (or murder by Andros, take your pick). Instead of that, he accidently brings back a version of Rita Repulsa who’s “evil essence” that was purged from the real Rita was given life or… some shit. They REALLY had to stretch things just to bring her back while trying to maintain continuity with the older shows.
So Billy and the Rangers all face off against “Robo-Rita” (possibly because both actresses for Rita/Witch Bandora are dead/not available) who recreates her puddies, but not Goldar, Finch, Baboo or that other guy because licensing would be a bitch. During the fight, Rita tries to kill Billy, but Trini jumps in the way of the blast, sacrificing her life in the process.
I might be in the minority here, but I REALLY hate this idea. Using Chui Trang’s RL death as inspiration for the plot just seems to be in poor taste. Then again, they did the same thing in Ghostbuster’s Afterlife with a CGI mockup that was even more uncomfortable to watch, so I can’t be too upset. So Trini is dead (hurnnng), and Zack and Billy don’t know how to break the news to Trini’s Daughter. Again, Walter Jones, goddammit. He must’ve really loved Trang back when the show was still fresh. Is that why Zack and Trini got together in those comics? I’m… not gonna pursue this question.
Billy and Zack have an argument on whether or not they should break the news to the family, but Trini’s Daughter overhears them (I forgot the girl’s name, so I’ll refer to her character as “jackass”. You’ll see why later on). So some years pass, Zack has taken custody of the girl and raises her in Trini’s absence. Unfortunately, Jackass lives up to her name by being overbearing and pushy for desire of becoming a Ranger. Of course Zack is against this because well DUH! As they’re driving to the cemetary to honor Trini, Billy contacts Zack and the other rangers to fight Rita. So they do. The rangers get their asses kicked by Minotaur and Snake dude (I only remember the Minotaur, though), both of whom proceed to capture them by turning them into small figurines. Zack and Billy escape with Jackass in the MOTHER FUCKING RAD BUG!! HELL YES!!! They brought back the Rad Bug, OMG!!! Billy remembered his flying car after all these years! Erm…. I’m sorry… so the 3 manage to get back to Cranst-… fuck it, the Command Center, and activate the “Bandora Protocols”. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *deep breath* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!)
They have to devise a plan to rescue the other rangers. Jackass DEMANDS that she become a ranger and join Billy and Zack in their battle, but they tell her to pipe down because all she’s gonna do is get herself killed. They argue for a bit, and this… bitch, I’m sorry but no, this BITCH… blames Billy for her mother’s death! I know she’s a teenager, and I know this reaction is probably the most realistic, but this insensitive BITCH can’t see past her own asshole that these dudes don’t want her to end up dead like Trini! Regardless, they try to keep her in the command center while they call up Rocky and Kat….. eww.
Never been a fan of the replacement rangers, though Aisha was always the least offensive since she wasn’t boring like… Aww shit, I’m terrible. Speaking of which… Aisha and Adam do appear as members of Space Patrol Alpha (the precursor to SPD Emergency!) And DAMN! Them 2 let themselves go! They claim they cannot join them because they’re busy doing… something. Hopefully trying to find that bastard Doggie Cruger and kill him before he becomes the biggest asshole mentor before Mentor Ji. Anywho, they find Minotaur and Snake Bitch attacking Angel Grove with their puddies, so they go out to fight them. Yeah, the fight scenes in this special are kinda ass, but w/e, Zack and Billy are back goddammit! Oh and Rocky too, I guess. Well at least he isn’t replaced by a little fucking kid this time. They find out that Minotaur and Snake Bitch are hunting them by tracing their Power Suits, so they demorph and run away…. why!? They mentioned something about not wanting to be captured… but you can’t rescue the other rangers without killing Snake Bitch, so… why… idk.
Jackass, however, decides to go to Ernie’s Juice Bar (rest in peace, Ernie), and fight more puddies. She tries to morph with Trini’s old Power Coin… but can’t! So she gets the shit kicked out of her… badly! So then Rocky and Zack have to bail her out… AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, ZACK’S USING HIP HOP KIDO, YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! THIS IS POWER RANGERS, GODDAMMIT!!!! *clears throat* Sorry.
Zack is understandably pissed at Jackass, so he drags her back to the command center and basically grounds her. But she’s confused as to why she can’t morph. Zack gives her the Hercules statement that she only fights for the selfish reason of revenge rather than for the good of all (which… doesn’t make sense because Zordon just forced the Power Coins onto them, and they became Rangers despite being selfish and LEAVING when the world was in danger.. ah fuck it, we’re gonna ignore the fact that Aisha was stuck in the past where Tanya came in her place, so fuck it, Mighty Morphin Powers are now suddenly based on virtue… well I guess it makes some sense, Billy is working with a new morphing grid… I don;t know anymore). Anywho, Billy and the gang come up with a plan to lure Minotaur and Snake bitch into a trap. By using a junk yard magnet and trapping them in middair…. seriously!? That simple!? Well, it’s Power Rangers, I guess it would be. Jackass, ONCE AGAIN, decides to be an idiot and go out on her own to get revenge against Rita. Robo Rita DOES show up, and Jackass… still can’t morph, so she tries to use Crap Fu against her… and fails miserably. Rita kicks her ass so hard that she doesn’t even think she’s worth killing, so she takes Jackass and leaves with her two henchmen. Also have to admit that Rita bragging about killing Trini is just… perfect. Make her as vindictive as you can!
So now the rangers go to Rita’s moon base to confront her, but she has Jackass as a hostage, so the rangers demorph to try and save her. Some shit happens, a fight breaks out, and Rita tries to kill Billy again. So Jackass does the same thing that Trini did, and sacrifices herself to save him. But this time, she was protected by Trini’s power coin, and suddenly, her mother’s memories come flooding back to her (cheap way to show some old footage, but I’ll roll with it). So because she tried to sacrifice herself, she is now worthy of morphing!
IT’S MORPHING TIME! But… she’s not likable at all! The Rangers kick the shit out of Rita’s Puddies and Minotaur, and Billy gets a REALLY awesome scene where he stabs that arrogant bitch in the back! Dude, I was HYPED AS HELL when he did that! “YEAH, BILLY’S NOT A PUSSY ANYMORE!!!” Rita’s plan was to travel back in time to prevent her old self from being defeated by the power rangers… by killing the rangers in the past BEFORE they became rangers. And she turned SEVERAL RANGER TEAMS into figurines to absorb their powrs to power up her own personal time machine (instead of seeking out Time Force specifically, VERY dissappointed they didn’t use them). So of course the rangers put a stop that!
Then she made her snake bitch GROW! Lets bust out the goddamn Mega Zord! They recreated the assembling sequence in… very… awful… CGI… but I didn’t give a fuck, WE GOT THE ORIGINAL MEGAZORD BABY!!!!
BILLY: Ok! Prepare to catch these hands!
Oh… oh no… don’t ruin Billy now, goddammit! I mean… I guess that fits with his character, he’s the nerd who isn’t hip to lingo, and now he’s pushing… what? 50, 60? Yeah, it’s about right, but dude! “Catch these hands!?” That’s lame even by Power Ranger Standards! But leave it to Rita to salvage that one! Even though she’s stabbed, she can stil move and get to her feet!
“SHATTERED CIRCUITS… CAN’T KEEP A BAAAAAAAD WITCH DOWN!!!!”
Now THAT is fucking gold!! Best line in Power Rangers yet! It even trumps Deviott in many cases, and that guy is the zinger king!!
Billy and Jackass proceed to whip Snake bitch’s ass while the others stop Rita from using her machine, and freeing the other ranger teams. After all that, Rita and her minions are destroyed, and peace has once again been restored! The gang all return to the command center to return their Power Coins, and see SPA off. It’s funny cause here, Zack gives Adam a hug, and me and my sister were like “DUDE! Don’t hug him!!! He took yo colors and Mastodon!”. Something tells me Zack being replaced was probably the most contentious switch amongst fans, I think Bosch brought that up in a certain interview.
So Billy, Zack, and Jackass all hang out at the Juice Bar, and have an emotional conversation about everything that transpired. Jackass apologizes to Billy for everything she’s said and done, and Billy forgives her, and then they talk about the memories they saw of Trini back in the past, right before they show a clip… of… Kimberly… *sniff* playing her banjo and…. *sniff* singing about her circle of friends…. with Trini… and Tommy….. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!! Then they showed the “In memory of” stuff, just… fucked me right up there, all along with that music… goddammit, why is this special so depressing!? Probably because… it’s a reunion… but the whole gang… isn’t there to be a part of it… FUCK!
I can’t tell y’all how much I needed this.
The reunion special wasn’t the best, the fight scenes were lackluster, and the plot wasn’t really good. There’s leaps of logic here and there, and Rita’s plan didn’t involve Time Force (probably the only big deal there), but honestly? A lot of that can be overlooked because unlike that feature film that came out back in…2017 I believe, you get the sense that the people who made the special gave a damn about Power Rangers. They at least tried to give reasons for certain things in the lore, like how the gang can use Power Coins after Season 3 (they never really explained why Adam or Jason could morph with the coins during the series run… like ever), having some mention of Billy’s relationship with an Aquitian (but no mention of why Billy’s back on Earth) and even tried to make sense of Robo Rita. Even though there’s no explanation of how or why Aisha is back in the present. Didn’t she go back in time (AS A FREAKING CHILD) to find the Zeo Crystal, but remained behind because she became a hippy? Or… something like that. And where’s Tanya in all of this? But whatever, Aisha was the only decent replacement ranger, so who cares?! And the good thing is at least the special had a more nuanced plot. It wasn’t just this massive excuse to bait people in with nostalgia, the characters actually used different tactics when dealing with their enemies, there was a mild coming of age plotline for a successor of one of the rangers, and Walter Jones even tried to do some Capoeira! Fuck… yes!
But yeah, them bringing back Walter Jones and David Yost was what sold me on this bitch. I’m surprised Yost even bothered to come back considering he was harrassed by Fox themselves during Zeo, and then them going behind his back and claiming that he was being “difficult to work with”. Working on Power Rangers gives a lot of people nightmares, and many never want to come back to work on anything Ranger related because oftentimes, the people handling the franchise make people’s lives a living hell (Eka Darville won’t even consider it without a bigger paycheck, which I can’t be mad at, but that means no Scott from RPM, which sucks). *sighs* And yes, David Yost was harrassed for being gay. No, I do not condone that. Before y’all even BEGIN to ponder, lets just get that out of the way. Considering that this happened, the fact that Yost even came back was a shocker for me. Plus, the way Billy was written out of the show was bullshit. Oh lets turn him into an old guy who has to go to Aquitar to get better, then he stays behind for Alien Tang. Well, he lived out the James Kirk fantasy before Commander Shepard, so there’s that. But like… the Aquitians are ugly as sin! So Billy needed something better. Having the desire to ressurect Zordon was a nice touch! And he’s basically the leader of this temporary Power Rangers team, that’s the best part! Also again, stabs Rita Repulsa in the back!
“She’s distracted” *STAB*
BADASS!!!!!!!
Walter Jones was practically a ghost for Power Rangers stuff. HE should’ve been the one to come back for In Space as well as that “once a Ranger” special in Operation Overdrive (then again, considering how that one turned out, maybe it was for the best). Damn I was irritated seeing that Adam was the one that came back instead of Zack. They just SHITTED on Zack for the whole series. At least Austin John returned as the Red Ranger (twice!). It’s weird since Austin got arrested, it’s almost like Forever Red foreshadowed his demise in a way. But with Zack, it seemed like he was supposed to be the friendly rival to Jason, with them both being the most promenate fighters of the Mighty Morphin team. Then Tommy came around and shoved Zack into the background. Now when I watch the Green with Evil Saga, I cheer when Zack summons the goddamn Megazord to rip Tommy a new one! KARMIC JUSTICE!!! I think him being Jackass’s surrogate father was a nice touch, almost like they were referencing the comics, and he didn’t have a stick up his ass about the whole ordeal even when Jackass was being a massive cunt on most cases. But again… damn Walter! He showed the most emotion throughout the special. If that was pure acting, he just shitted on Time Force. If that’s real… goddamn. And he brought back the Hip Hop Kido and mixed it in with Capoeira! I think… it might as well be. Hell, that’s what Capoeira is anyway. Martial Art designed as deceptive dancing, invented by Zumbi for slaves to fight against dem crac-…. ahem. And hell, Walter hasn’t aged a day! David looks rough in comparison! Yeah yeah, Black don’t crack, just in time for the Zack Attack.
Rocky and Kat… well, they’re there… I guess. I don’t remember Rocky being the comic relief. Then again, I stopped watching when they replaced the 3 with em, so I can’t comment all that much. After all these years, I still have no idea where Kat even came from.
Aisha and Adam were barely there, and they let themselves go. Lul.
Robo Rita is significantly more evil in this special than she’s ever been in the past, and I love it! She was always kinda… dumb in the original series. And then Lord Zedd came in and just shitted all over her.. right before they got… married…. and her father and brother… came in… damn, I’m glad I stopped watching before all that nonsense came around. But Rita damn near steals the show just by being far more intelligent than usual! She at least tries to kill the rangers this time instead of just making her monsters grow. And like she says! “Can’t keep a baaaaaaad witch down!” GODDAMN, I love that line!!! Just the right amount of cheese, camp, and cringe! That’s vintage Ranger camp! You can’t beat it! Rita Repulsa has never kicked so much ass… ok well maybe she was cool in the 2017 film, but GODDAMMIT!
If there’s anything I don’t like, it’s the character of Jackass. She’s the daughter of Trini, and considering Trini dies in the show, Jackass is justifiably bitchy. Even so, her bitchiness is intolerable, tropy as it is. Sneaking out on her own to try and fight evil, blaming Billy for her mother’s death, and just being unpleasant overall makes her downright unlikable. Justified as she is in being upset and angry, she’s almost downright cruel to Billy. They’re both mourning for her, and you’re just pouring salt on an open wound. I mean yeah, she DOES apologize for being an ass, but you can’t beat them first impressions.
Speaking of Trini, again…. I don’t like the fact that the actress’s death was used as a vehicle for the plot. I get why they did this, but it feels unclean. Wrong. Which is kinda ironic. I had an idea of how that Power Rangers Hexagon series could go down with Cole from Wild Force accidently killing someone while trying to save the day… based on his actor’s actual murder of some bloak, and I’d have to back the fuck up from that. It comes off as insensitive in some ways. At the very least, it was their way of honoring her. Trang’s death came as a shock to everyone when it happened. I remember back when the 2017 movie came out, I was telling this girl at my job that her actress didn’t return for a cameo because she was gone. And she was devastated, she didn’t even know that had happened! Trini was her favorite Ranger, too. Look, I know the writers weren’t trying to be offensive with the plot, that’s just how it feels to me. It’s… uncomfortable, and almost makes the entire special depressing as hell when you consider that not every actor returned to reprise their roles. You’re kinda bashed over the head with that fact that the whole gang isn’t there for the Reunion. And that final shot with Kimberly playing that guitar just makes it all the more painful.
Despite that, this was a damn good reunion. I needed this. Far more than any other special, this one had a lot of love behind it. I’d assume a lot of PR fans would love this, but I’m too much of a cynic to be that naive. That said, I’m staying for the fuck away from the internet specifically in regards to this one special. I don’t want dipshits to taint it’s image with their stupidity … like they’ve done to The Batman. I betcha they’re shitting on it because of some notion of “wokeness” or some other nonsense.
Conflicting Views 