According to Sega, Reviews contribute to sales.

https://www.dualshockers.com/sega-persona-5-yakuza-japanese/

Provided by Bucko

Matsubara-san mentions that Sonic is the group’s most recognized IP, and Sonic Mania has become a major hit with over one million downloads worldwide. Sales on the western market have been strongly influenced by reviews, and Sonic Mania has very positive scores on Metacritic.

One Million downloads is a major hit? My Ra, Lost Mind and Boom must’ve been painful!

Perhaps digital sales are a completely different ballgame than physical releases, but for Sonic games, 1 million sales is par the course. But w/e, let the kiddies online have their little victory dance, Amma knows Sonic fans need some reassurance that they aren’t wasting their time on a franchise people deliberately shit on.

But Sega is implying that this couldn’t be possible without reviews? Well, lets say that is the case. Are they implying that it would be impossible for people to even think about buying Sonic Mania without someone telling them that it was good? This sort of logic flies in the face of all things rational. Reviews rarely,  if ever, contribute to a purchase. You can look at 50 Cent Bulletproof vs Okami when they first came out. And apparently, you can look at Resident Evil 5 & 6 despite how many people shit on those games.

Sega has been putting waaaay too much stake in reviews lately. Idk, maybe they love that they finally have good reviews after a decade of journalists showing their asses. But saying they’re responsible for good sales is pushing it.

Universalism (Mafia 3 Again)

I kept telling myself that there has to be some sort of sneak fuck in the Mafia 3 videogame. A game like this with all the rightful demonization of racist asshats in the 60s wouldn’t have been made without some sort of counterweight to mitigate the overwhelming ahem…. “white guilt” that would’ve struck like a freight train. And… lets say this is… a small theory. It’s not the CIA agent, Ivory overseers are par the course these days. It’s that you have both an Irish and Italian ally assisting you. And their stories and struggles are the counterweight. 

And before you say it, no I wasn’t desperately looking for sneak fucks.

Recently, I heard about this situation in which the UK has decided to change October from their Black History month… into “Diversity month”. Now, this is the first time I’ve ever heard of the UK having a black history month, shame on me I suppose, but that’s irrelevant. Diversity has been a code word to loop everyone that is non-white…. into the same old “melting pot” that gave America it’s false advertising for decades. Diversity is a counterweight to reduce or elevate certain groups to be on level standing with one another, and to suggest that everyone is equal. 

Now the black folks over in the UK are pissed beyond belief  and they should be. Cause in all honesty, this diversity nonsense is a means by which to erase their contributions to the UK from history altogether. Notice that it’s not called “diverse history” month. Because it’s not about history, it’s just celebrating different ethnic groups… for the sake of celebrating different ethnic groups. The history portion is completely irrelevant. Because then they’d have to admit that all these different ethnic groups contributed little to nothing to the country, something that only black people could claim. That was the point. To put people on notice and say straight up “this is what black people have contributed to this nation of ours, and we recognize and are grateful for those contributions“. Well, the grateful bit can go either way considering who runs the country. You don’t just include everybody in a month just because “well we’ve got Asian communities and Hispanic communities, we don’t want them to feel left out.” First and foremost, that’s an obligatory reason for doing something like this. If you have those communities, more than likely they are immigrants who contributed little to nothing for the country, so why are you giving them a month? Because they took up residence? 

Now, i’m not saying that I know what groups have and haven’t contributed to the UK, I couldn’t tell you. And if they have, i’m not going to say anything against that. But I haven’t heard or read anything of the sort, so there’s likely an ulterior motive to renaming the month. And if that’s not the case, why the fuck don’t you vacate their shit to any of the other 11 months in the year!? See, that’s one thing America seemed to get right. We have an Asian American month, a women’s, all that shit, but they’re spread out to different months. They aren’t looped into a vacuum at that the expense of someone else.

Now, I know there are some folks who love to ask the question “why do we need a black history month? We don’t need the government to tell us when we can celebrate black history”. Well, that’s fine but it’s also naive. Having a Black History month isn’t to say that this is the perfect time to celebrate anything. It’s for the rest of the population to recognize the impact that we had. Certain historical figures get holidays, we have an entire month! That in itself might be just a convenient way to not give any certain black people their own specific holidays across the year, but that’s aside the point. A holiday or a month is… “assigned“, I suppose, to certain people for the significance of their contributions in shaping the country into what it is today. Not just for the people who share the same grouping, but for other groups who come into the country, that way we can say “the opportunities you have now is the result of these badasses from the past!”. Whether they give a shit is a different story.

But that’s not something to take lightly. One’s history can very well impact their future. You may say “well do we need a black history month?” You’re gonna find yourself in the same damn situation as the UK talking that bullshit. You allow people to… “de-signify” your history, you also allow them to question your value as people. “What makes you so special that you deserve to exist?” Course, with the racial landscape in America as it is now, they don’t even need an excuse. 
This is why shit like the Battlefield 1 and Madden 19 fiascos are something you shouldn’t ignore. It’s how they erase contributions by disincluding select parties overall. Don’t ignore that “Get woke, go broke” meme, either. 

But back to this diversity shit. Mafia 3 is a game that focuses largely on the trials that black people endured in 60s mixed in with the typical cliches of revenge stories. But as you progress through the game, you start to notice that…. going outside of the Hollow into other districts, the whole black struggle element takes a backseat for a good…75% of the game, lets say. And that struggle is the result of 2 groups, the Dixie Mafia and the Southern Union. Through out the game, though, you start getting these tidbits that Irish people and Italians have also been facing discrimination. In a way that says “black folks weren’t the only ones suffering in America”. I’m not arguing whether that’s right or wrong, but it sends this sort of message that “we’re in this together!” Ofcourse, the past 2 years have shown otherwise, the game subtlety minimizes the black struggle in favor of saying “even whites were dealing with it…. because they weren’t considered white back then”. Shit like this would then turn into “who suffered more back in that era”, and thus we get a situation where we say that “well these guys’s experiences aren’t so unique afterall” and those same people would be debating “what’s so special about this particular group“?

If they wanted to pull that shit, you could’ve had 3 playable scenarios for each group. That way, the player could relate to each group and their struggles without being compromised to one specific group. Then again, that has some unfortunate implications in itself. 

Just saying, you have Marcano, the main villain explaining why they’re building a casino. “Ni-, Mi-, and go-, are all crying for equality. Our way of doing things won’t work in a world like that”. So right there, he loops Irish and Italians with Black folks as equally disenfranchised groups. And you just so happen to be working with members of those groups. One of which is a drunken psychopath who has no respect for you. But cries about everything. 

Yeah, fuck Burke!

This is how universalism works. You try to equate the characteristics and experiences of one group of people with everyone else. You know like that whole “everyone’s a little bit racist” shit? And when that happens, you minimize the actual experiences people have gone through as being “something that EVERYONE has to go through”. 

Random Thoughts (Venom and Shadow)

Funny how the anti-hero of Spiderman gets praised for having a darker/edgier spinoff than does the anti-hero of Sonic.

There’s a few interesting parallels here. Spiderman and Sonic both being heroes who also happen to be wise asses, an aspect that annoys their enemies to no end, both are mascot of their respective companies. Their anti-heroes are both semi-clones of themselves with a few more powers that would make them over-powered as hell, have foul language, and are creatures of self-interest. 

And both franchises are kid friendly! 

The difference being no one takes issue with Venom being that way. And now you are free to feed me to the wolves about “false equivalence” and what not. How Venom doesn’t use weapons so it’s ok! We can have everything else, but the guns were just sooo evil. Might as well be some gun control issue… *stupid laugh*

They’ll find some way to spin that to maintain the status quo. 

Tails vs Shadow: GUNZ

Honestly, this is a waste of time, but hell with it. 

Deviant art. Psycho Frog. Shadow the Hedgehog, comparisons to Tails Adventure, irate commenter, triggered. That kind of jazz.

This is a completely false equivalence. 

Tails has primarily always been an inventer that uses gadgets and bombs, even in SA2 where Shadow debuted, Tails rode around in a giant mech with weapons attached destroying everything in sight.  Shadow started out as basically a Sonic clone that ran fast.

Ahem…

Tails started off as a Sonic Clone too. In Sonic 2, what were his abilities? 

Run. Spin Attack. Invented the Spindash. Oh, and later on, he could fly, and use Tail whipping attacks.

Matter of fact, he basically taught Sonic a new move. And managed to defeat Robotnik without mech assistance on multiple occasions. Canon as hell in SA1. Without question in Mania.

By that alone, Tails has no excuse for relying on weapons and gadgets either. It’s just “easier”.

Where’s the false equivalence? 

Furthermore, within the context of the game Tails’ Adventure.  Tails primarily used the bombs and gadgets found to find other devices and weapons in his levels.  It was more of a puzzle mechanic rather than to “only” kill birds.

He still uses bombs to KILL. That’s the point being made. He uses weapons to kill enemies. But if you wanna be technical, Shadow’s weapons served extra purposes as well. Hitting switches from afar, destroying key relics and obstacles, vacuuming up objects which is especially important for Central City in disarming bombs, and those wonderful healing guns which can actually pull gun soldiers from the brink of death AND having them saluting and thanking you for your generousity, and staying the fuck out of your way. Also important for certain missions. 

Huh, where’s the false equivalence? They both use tools for different purposes. Not just “killing”.

Shadow using guns in his game is aesthetically out of place and is completely redundant since he can use moves like the spin dash to dispatch enemies (in canon.) 

See above. Tails is equally as guilty of redundancy. Don’t give me any power scaling BS, he has beaten Robotnik, on his own, without gadgets. On-screen.

Also, considering the nature of his character, and general theme music, guns actually fit more in his world than it would anyone else. Shadow is a person who uses whatever means necessary to get what he wants. He isn’t above anything. He’s essentially the Wolverine surrounded by a bunch of goody two-shoe X-Men. He aligns himself with anyone so long as it helps his goal. In 06, he’s the only character willing to request information from Robotnik who earlier attacked him for a dark scepter, primarily because he has something important to do, and isn’t holding himself back by petty pride. Everyone else would be unwilling to give ol’ fat boy the benefit of the doubt. Shadow is an “ends justify the means” type of guy. 

Aesthetically out of place? No. It’s aesthetically unpleasant. But it fits the nature of his character. Everyone else in the game has a standard of not being caught dead with them if only to mitigate how furious the fandom would be. 

Where’s the false equivalence? Tails isn’t using gadgets in Sonic Mania, so add another point in his ass-kicking prowess.

Not to mention that using weapons in Shadow the Hedgehog is antithetical to the point of his own game, in that, to use them you can not run super fast because you need to stop and take aim.  Shadow’s central power is to run fast so using the guns defeats the defining purpose of the game.  (Well, to go fast!) 

You’re applying your own preferences as the entire basis of the game. Which it isn’t. 

Shth is about completing missions of your choosing. Each zone has 2-3 that you have the option of completing, though the game eventually requires you to complete them all anyway. Guess what? A lot of those missions require you to slow the fuck down, snd actually take your time. The weapons are, in most cases, necessary to complete those missions. They were designed, often times, with that in mind.

Where’s the false equivalence? Shadow needs to take shit slow just as Tails did. Difference is Shadow doesn’t have molasses up his ass.

Tails’ Adventure is a spinoff game that explores Tails’ abilities as an inventor and thus does not contour to the fast-paced action as ascribed by the majority of Sonic games that feature a fast protagonist.  EX. Blaze can propel herself with fire, so Sonic Rush is fast paced for her segments of the game. (I am aware Shadow the Hedgehog is a spinoff as well, but my point still stands that he is primarily supposed to go fast, and guns completely derail that.) 

This has absolutely nothing to do with the point being made. And is largely a double standard, and disinformation. By your logic, Tails Adventure is a terrible game simply because Tails, a character that was designed to go fast, was deliberately slowed down for a gameplay mechanic. Sonic Labrynth is terrible because Sonic is slowed down for a gameplay mechanic. 

Guns don’t derail anything because Shadow can still run fast. It is entirely possible to rush through all of the zones (sans Central City) and make it to the goal. You don’t have to STOP for anything. Hell, with a gun in hand, you can literally shoot enemies while running at high speeds. You might not kill them (especially on PS2 since auto aim isn’t even in that version), but the possibility isn’t lost. In fact, you take a good chicken gun, you can blast through a zone and suck it dry without stopping. Or a Chao gun that has HOMING CAPABILITIES and is over-powered as shit. Those weapons COMPLIMENT Shadow’s speed more than anyone gives it credit for.

 Matter of fact…. what Sonic game outside of the boosting games does combat not present a situation where you have to slow down or stop and actually deal with the little fucks? 

Lastly, the weapons are weapons/violence is violence argument I have seen you use in the comments section is bullshit because context matters quite a bit.  You can’t just remove context and treat things as if they are equivalent for the sake of your argument.  Who your enemies are, the setting of your story, the real world equivalency of the weapons in question, and the person using them all matter.  They are valid reasons why people would prefer one over the other.

And this would be valid if the Cyclone didn’t use realistic cannon shells and realistic rocket launchers. ON EARTH. Against other humans (namely Robotnik)

The only reason people prefer one over the other is because one game is bright and colorful, and the other is morbid and depressing. It is strictly tonal. And that’s fine. I’ve said it a million times that the tone of the game is more than what Sonic fans are used to, and is what led a lot of the fandom to the brink of insanity. Sega did not take anything into account and was completely tone deaf. They didn’t understand exactly what boundaries the fandom was willing to cross.

That doesn’t change the fact that the fandom (including you) is holding one character to a different standard over another. 

TLDR:  People hate the guns that Shadow uses because they detract from the purpose of his game and are redundant for his character.  They like Tails’ weapons because they strengthen his character and are essential to the slower paced exploration/puzzle nature of his game

Sorry, how many people do you know actually likes Tails Adventure? Or even knows it exists?

How many people actually like the mech stages in SA2? 

I have not heard this from anyone. People like Tails because he’s an og. People begrudgingly like characters that are older than those that came years later after the fact. It’s not a matter of quality but rather legacy. People accept that Tails is an inventer, but ive not come across a single person that enjoys actually playing around with Tails’s gadgets. 

Matter of fact, I don’t think people like the idea of Sonic characters using any sort of weapons or gadgets because it’s more interesting for Sonic characters to use their own natural abilities than supplemental tools. I personally hate that Tails is now completely dependent upon his scientific mind, or otherwise you have him pussing out from Motobugs. Especially knowing he whooped Robotnik’s ass without gadgets. But because Sega is too caught up in their own tropes, Tails is perpetually fucked. Mania will be the last time Tails relies on his own strength than some silly bomb rings.

Unfortunately, a lot of people will try to downplay Tails’s actual strength just to prove the fallacy of Shth which in turn creates a false narrative for sega to feel enabled by to screw the character further, not that they needed help. It’s how toxic the fandom is. That damn status quo is far more important than rational. 

The guns in Shadow were designed for the purpose of the game. Saying it’s a detraction simply because you have a preference is an oxymoron. Its not as though you are unable to go fast in this game.

Crazy Rich Asians (Yakuza 0)

Well…. shit. This is gonna be a challenge to review.

I’ve already prefaced my lack of experience with the series. And I’ve noted that People wanted me to play this stuff. Idk, maybe folks actually value my opinion, or they might want to take the series down a few notches and im the only dickhole with the balls to shit on it. Bah, im just tooting my own horn. 

Fuck all that tho, what’s up with the offensive title!? Well, if you played this game, you’d assume the book and the movie was inspired by it because these assholes just keep showing off how filthy rich they are. Every character is loaded with cash, so much so that I felt I was under assault. Sega pretentiously hammering into my skull that im broke and thus have no reason to live, because I lack the money, resources, and sex appeal of these fictional lifestyles of the rich and criminal. Every rich fuck expressing criticism and outright contempt for those trying to make an honest living. And how you can just throw around money and have people run to it. Fuck Yakuza, they should’ve called this game the Wolves of Tokyo.

Videogames are supposed to entertainment for poor people, so this goes to show out of touch Sega really is, or Japanese people get off to their sense of unwarranted self-importance. It’s so cartoonishly displayed that the main characters are so rich that they’ll literally throw money at everything. It’s quite s turn off. I often take issue with Japanese Entertainment as they occassionally make their characters out to be these unstoppable titans who can’t be brought down from their haughty towers, and any attempt to do so is met with failure by the characters you’re supposed to be rooting for. Whether it’s Ash Ketchum vs Paul, Kazuma the Shell Bullet vs Ryuho from Scryed, Asbel vs Hubert from Tales of Graces, etc. Though there’s no specific rivalry like that in this game, it’s not helped that these rich fucks go out of their way to shit on people, making you hate them even more. 

Hell it’s not just the rich characters, everyone is an overly judgmental asshole that you can’t help but want to murder! I’ve never played a game where you’re surrounded by so many people who have unrealistic expectations of you and how you should act in the world (Well, maybe except for Tales of the Abyss and Symphonia 2). Merely brushing passed somebody is enough for them to get into a shouting contest and escalate into a physical confrontation. Kamurocho is an unholy asshole factory not unlike New Bordeaux,  but except for racial prejudice, in this bat shit universe, everyone hates you for the mere fact that you were born as they’ll find any excuse in the world to punch you. Must be that passive aggressive stint that Japanese society has being exaggerated to cartoonish levels. Gee, I wonder how many people are gonna get tired of me bagging on Japan? 

Ofcourse, this game subverts that by having almost all of these rich cats meet these horrible fates one-by-one, and you’re still left disappointed because most of those horrible fates were mot done by your own hands…. and you have what Is essentially Mass Effect 2. A bunch of characters the games makes out to be these impossible badasses that you can’t ever hope to top in your miserable life, but get taken down a few pegs by their daddy issues, and can all die horribly if you weave it so. It begs the question of why this game flaunts it’s money so damn much if all the people who break bread get fucked up anyway. Could be some pretentiously subversive message that money isn’t everything as one blond nobody in the game points out. Time and people are far more precious than money, which explains why so many people waste it. Is that why the game so aggressively pushes rich people? To say that “Fuck you” money is a joke?

I don’t know. And clearly I’m rambling. Yakuza 0 came out…. I guess last year? And serves as a prequel to the series. I think it goes without saying that prequels generally suck. You have to put up with characters that you’ve known through out a series being mere shells of their former selves. Completely different characters, even. Prequels by their nature are chained to one goal. Exposition. So a lot of what goes into prequels are acts of contrived subplots meant to explain why events in titles that came before the prequel actually occur. In other words, giving you answers to questions you never had or cared to think about. Or you get the completely random prequels that just focus on characters that didn’t change all that much to begin with, and comes off as this side story that just happens. These are often the better prequels.

Yakuza 0 is like some bastardized hybrid of those 2 extremes. It’s supposed to explain events that led up to how certain characters have the roles they do, but also has some estranged plot about the Japanese Mafia trying to kill each other over an empty lot. Since I don’t know shit about Yakuza beyond a non-canonical zombie spinoff, this game is a massive info dump of heavily convoluted subplots that are designed not to give you important information for the rest of the series, but to throw you off every…. fucking…. time. 

Kazuma Kiryu is a 20 Yakuza Rookie who is framed for the murder of some retard who didn’t pay his pills. As a result, he requests for expulsion to keep his…. patriarch (?) From getting in trouble for Kiryu’s non-crime. Unfortunately for Kiryu, that’s the Yakuza’s goal to fuck over his patriarch, so Kiryu has to join a real estate firm (don’t ask) to figure out what’s going on. Meanwhile, Goro Majima is a genius manager who can make any business a fuck load of money no matter what the situation is. However, this to him is punishment for some shit he did 3 years earlier, and he desperately wants out. And he gets that chance by taking on a hit on a blind girl… but instead, he falls for her and tries to keep her alive instead, marking himself for death in the process. All of this is related to an empty lot that could very well determine the future of the fictional town of Kamurocho and the Japanese Mafia itself. 

This game treats itself as this big mystery thriller, but in a hollow attempt to lead you astray, Sega ends up making a very stupid story. They’ve spent so much time trying to convince their consumers of falsehoods over the years, they tried to apply those same tricks here, and it ends up with some inconclusive threads. Does anyone know why Oda sold out Tachibana to Shibusawa throughout the game? Or what Shibusawa’s real goal was in regards to keeping the blind bitch alive? Or having inside Tachibana but never acting on the information gained. Or… anything regarding Shibusawa, really. Or why Majima went nuts at the end? Or why Wen Lee was really involved in the gang war with the Korean Mafia and how Tachibana was even involved (it’s very vague how connected Lee was with Tachibana) Or why we really needed to explore Makoto being a sex slave… see that’s another thing. The amount of subplots in this game is enough to be side material, but is treated as important information. Makoto being blind could’ve been unrelated to a slave ring, but that was primarily done to set up this “man with bat tattoo” subplot where it leads to Oda having sold her into slavery because he needed money, but there was another scene where Tachibana was shown to have a bat tattoo, but it’s only shown to be a gang sign, and he was never involved in that shit… even though Makoto’s flashbacks show a purple tattoo that Tachibana has, but Oda’s is green, you see how they try to throw you off?

The story is at best fucking convoluted. It’s hard to follow after a while because there’s over a million details that get piled on top of each other, you need a goddamn flow chart to remember all the details. And even then, none of this matters Because most of these characters get murked off anyway, leaving a lot of shit to be unresolved or fully explained. In other words, contrivance for the sake of contrivance. Though I will give the writers credit for at least keeping the story interesting enough to keep warrant my attention, it’s equally as frustrating because it feels like a lot of details are not available. 

Now, I mentioned before that I found the whole “jump from one character to the next” style of storytelling this game has, and while it becomes less irritating as the game progresses, being that the stories become more interconnected, there is the Annoying bit on chapter 18 where im on this boat trying to save the blind idiot, and I make it passed all that shit to the end… just to take an extended break from that level to futz around with Majima fighting with Awano and Lao Gui. I gotta do this first before continuing on with Shibusawa’s motives. I was pissed off cause I really wanted to know what this dude was on, but before that, I had to go through a dungeon and 2 boss fights. Goddammit! were my exact words. I guess Sega thought we were stupid and wouldn’t be able to connect all the dots between both stories and thus forced us to play through both characters, constantly shifting back and forth after 2 chapters. And when we’ve been sucked into one character’s story, we take an extended Break from it after a goddamn cliffhanger. Who would’ve thought that this game would be such a horrible tease?

Annoying plot structure aside, you also get the impression of clear bias and favoritism. Because Majima is the fan favorite, he is given the more interesting side of the story, having to decide whether or not to kill a blind girl, having to maintain cover from his own boss, comic relief, it’s a well done narrative on his part. Not to mention that his punishment is to be surrounded by hoes :P. Kiryu, on the other… is just an errand boy who gets shat on by everyone who knows him. He gets beat on regularly, has zero personality, and zero character development. He runs into far more interesting people who also treat him like shit, most of his conversations devolve into philosophy mumbo jumbo, and has to be taught lessons of proper business etiquette like WHAT FUCKING CHAIR YOU HAVE TO SIT IN AT A GODDAMN RESTAURANT!!!! Man, Kiryu got screwed. Hated Oda, so glad he died! He also has to fight some asshole 5 times who thinks Kiryu isn’t “Yakuza enough” cause that makes sense. Kiryu is shackled with the bullshit “coming of age” story while Majima gets the exciting crime thriller shit. 

All that being said… the sidequests are the best stories in the game! 

Which is…. kinda sad when think about it. A story about teaching a dominatrix to be more aggressive… is more interesting than a bunch of gangsters murdering people over a small back alley space sandwiched between 4 towering buildings… yeah, I can see that. As weird and bizarre as some of these sidequests can be, they’re actually quite fun, though a lot of them tend to get real preachy like the Hollywood director talking about how hellish entertainment is and should be. Well ofcourse it is when you use terminology that’s like speaking another language! What the fuck was I supposed to think when you say “Erasuble” and not look at the eraser!? Somehow I guessed right when it came to “grocering” a food item. What kind of show were they making where you have to display a food item on a table for eating? And why would a producer be hands on with the production, and take shit from the director? 

Also, if you’re female, I’d recommend not playing this game. At all. There’s a lot of shit here you wouldn’t approve of. Lets just say “It’s Japan and they don’t give 2 shits how women are represented” and leave it at that. Now that that’s out of the way, WOO HOO, TITS!! GROPING!!! WOMEN THAT ARE CLEARLY UNDERAGE… er…

So, another city-based open-world game with several checklists of missions that’s sure to be ignored after the first 4 chapters. Hell, having to keep up with 2 different sets of sidequests between 2 storymodes that switch up on you again and again, that’s no good. Well, you certainly can’t complain that there’s nothing to do in the bonkers world of Yakuza 0. The only thing you can’t do is watch porn videos. 😛 But even if you wanted to ignore all the side material, the game doesn’t let you. During the course of the game, after becoming heavily invested into the story after 4 chapters of suspense, the game arbitrarily tears you away in favor of teaching how to… run business minigames. For Kiryu, it’s carving up districts to gain money from businesses on these streets, and for Majima, it’s running hostess clubs and managing hoes. The latter is, surprisingly, unfun as the minigame requires you to give each customer the right girl or they’ll be pissed off. Kiryu? Press a button, wait, and money!

Either way, you can’t skip this, and for the game to spend a good 15-20 minutes with this shit after you’re more interested in the story is a dick move beyond words. These are methods of which you can make more money, but because battling enemies, selling off plates, and completing quests are faster, less tedious and far more lucrative, makes these mandatory tutorials all the more infuriating. There’s absolutely no reason for this nonsense other than to pad out an already artificially lengthy game. It’s more obnoxious than the forced karaoke minigames.

Aside from side shit, you have minigames that I didn’t play. 😛

Now for the battle system. Well, unlike a lot of beat em ups on the market, Sega took the logical choice and not have combat drag out for long periods of time just to show off it’s combo counter, the kind of bullshit that was started by Devil May Cry where overly long combos were the main draw of the game. Combat is kept simple and fun. 3 different attack styles for both characters which doesn’t really matter because for each character, only one style matters most for them. Again, Majima was shown favoritism because his Breaker Capoera style is completely broken. He can steamroll the whole game and you wouldn’t even notice. For Kiryu, his shit is rarely effective, and it never feels like you’re doing enough damage in a single  string to warrant his 3 styles in the first place. That being said, having 3 different  styles to use is purely cosmetic as only 1/3 of them are actually any good. 

Combat itself is fun and visceral, being able to beat the snot out of all the assholes who pester you throughout Kamurocho is a wonderful thing. No one is off-limits to the asswhoopins you have planned for them (except dickhole Sagawa) so w/e anger you have built up can be unleashed! unless they have guns and knives, snd then you’re properly fucked. I should’ve expected some events in the game to feel cheap and relentless, and firearms are the bain of my existence. There’s also QTEs for when Sega wants to feel outdated in chasing that RE4/AAA claim to fame. QTEs suck, they don’t make the games any better, they just exist.

If you want better moves, you have a leveling system that requires you to piss away tens of millions of dollars to upgrade your abilities. Since money is easy to get, this isn’t too big of an issue, but I hoard shit like crazy so…

Other than that, Yakuza 0 is a lengthy game that’ll keep you busy with all it’s numerous nonsense to do. Though, if you’re just now getting into the series, I would NOT recommend 0. I repeat. NOT recommend 0. The game is just tedious, padded out out the ass, and has some really unlikable characters. 

Instead, get Kiwami! No character swaps, a Kiryu that doesn’t take shit from no one, a less convoluted plot, better fighting system (buffs everywhere), and…. pole dancing Majima!? 

Really Friggin Late Response to Ruben K (Tekken)

I had gotten a comment on a page that I don’t check often. It was posted back in August 16th. I don’t know if you’re still reading this for any updates so I apologize for any inconvenience. 

Dear Mr Harada,

Harada-sama… I want to express great respect for your work and humbly thank all people involved creating Tekken. Thank you. 

I have been playing Tekken for almost 20 years. The only reason i bought a Playstation is Tekken 2. I walked into an arcade and played Tekken 2, within 48 hours i bought the console and the game. 

However, i did not only play Tekken, i also promoted Tekken. I organised the first ever Tekken tournament in my country. (in cooperation with Sony, 1998) This was also our first ever national Tekken tournament. 

From that time i invested much of my time, energy and money to host tournaments and contribute to the competitive Tekken community in Europe. Some say it’s the reason i did not finish my studies. But that’s all in the past now, i have little regrets.

Tekken is still THE BEST martial arts game in my opinion.

Now i politely made my introduction i must speak of something that’s been bothering me.
I’ll only speak for myself at this time but i must respectfully ask you these questions:

1 “Harada-sama, why ‘has Tekken ignored some of the biggest Asian nations as if they don’t exist?”

2 “Mr Harada, why are Tekken’s Asian fighters only from Japanese, Chinese and Korean ethnicity?”

3 “Mr Harada, does Namco Bandai have a corporate or informal policy against Indonesians, Thais, Filipinos, Indians or Pakistanis in Tekken?” 

4 “Mr Harada, will Tekken ever feature a character from an African nation that is born on and lives on the African continent?” 

5 “Mr Harada, is Namco Bandai aware of the major influence that Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu practicioners have had on global martial arts and MMA sports in the past 20 years?”

6 “Mr Harada, why is it that while India and Indonesia are the 2nd and 4th most populous nations Tekken has never had a character from these countries or similar top 10 populous nations?”

7 “Mr Harada, if Tekken 7 wil feature Filipino or (more) Latin American characters could you please not have them wearing masks so we can see their faces?” 


I had to ask these questions now while there is still time. I want Tekken to continue it’s succes. I want you to be succesful and increase profits for Namco Bandai’s share holders.

One clear way to increase your brand’s status and marketabilty is to appeal to a wide audience. Most schools of business call this an opportunity or way to create a “strength”. 

However, in today’s era of universally available social media and rapid global PR campaigns, failure to represent major groups of the global community will create a threat or weakness to your brand. A threat to your profits and perhaps the very lifespan of your product.

To paint a simple picture: Any group that feels discriminated or ignored can now reach millions if not billions of readers and viewers with their message of discontent. In hours, not days.

Besides that, with the many publishers competing against Namco Bandai a PR campaign might be initiated by one of your main competitors. There are even third party PR companies that provide these services.

Think of Twitter, Youtube, Facebook, Whatsapp, Instagram etc…
Then think of Namco Bandai’s shareholders and the board of executives general attitude during the release period of triple-A titles. 

I respectfully hope you will consider your additions to the next installment of Tekken.
Thank you for your time and attention Mr Harada. I am on your side and at your disposal if I can be of any assistance to your work. 


Kind regards,

Ruben
The Respect Team

PS No need to invest research time, money and labour to create new characters if your budget is already capped. You created the Miharu Hirano skin* for Ling Xiaoyu, the Violet skin for Lee and several others. 
So budget and time are no big obstacles to widen Tekken’s ethnical appeal. 

Now…. to be quite honest, I wouldn’t know what to add to a discussion like that…. and apparently neither did most of the guys who did respond. Any topic that regards race representation in vdeo games makes gamers Recoil in agony! In gaming, you get to create a bubble that says nothing is wrong with you, just the world around you. And as of late, discussing race in gaming, even making a joke of it (IE Knuckles) is enough to have them swarm you in droves like angry bees. 

I’m not as familiar with Namco’s practices as most others would be. I hear a lot of people seem to hate Harada. Being as my experience with Tekken isn’t as expansive as yours, im not gonna claim any expertise on how the series should be (course w/e made Tag 1 so good should’ve been the standard,  not this universal circus crap, but I digress), but I’ll say this. Ethnic inclusion isn’t a requirement for anything to be successful. And so long as that remains to be the case, all companies could give 2 shits who they put into their games or movies. It is a luxury to be represented at all. An even bigger one to be represented positively.

That being said, Tekken at least gets the latter right. Typically when Japanese companies include characters of ahem…. “mixed company”, they get real aggressive with the stereotypes. You can look at Street Fighter to start a checklist. Tekken… doesn’t have that BS. The characters have their own natural quirks, but they aren’t chained to the perceptions of an isolationist group. The characters are portrayed nicely…. well, except maybe for the Jackie Chan dude. I wouldn’t worry about masks for certain characters (especially since those tend to be customization items anyway) 

But your concern is including other ethnic groups for the sake of using more unique fighting styles. And it possible that ship has sailed. 

One, im starting to notice that character’s are getting more fictional fighting styles. No, I don’t closely examine them, I just know Alyssa’s style looks fake as shit. I don’t know what the hell Bob is supposed to be using, and I would assume w/e the hell zafina is using resembles snake fist, but I wouldn’t know because I stayed far the hell away from her character. And now with T7, we have Claudio, Lucky Chloe, And Katarina whose fighting styles looks so processed and artificial, you’d need a nutrition facts section to find out how much of other characters in the game were cut, hacked, and pasted into the new ones. 

If Soul Calibur 5 was any indication, Namco stopped giving a damn about realistic fighting styles years ago. The actual fighting isn’t reminiscent of an actual martial arts fight what with all the retarded juggling physics, the logical assumption would be “why put forth the effort to make the fighting styles realistic?” Even the animations are getting choppy, T7 looked like it was animated by some amateurs on youtube, it’s not smooth like it was on 6 and Tag 2. Namco is putting in less effort for these characters and is focusing on attracting some anime fans. Claudio is shooting arrows of friggin light! So unique fighting styles from around the world are soon to be a thing of the past. You could say it’s Bandai’s fault. 😛 Saves money and time to just make up a fighting style and shove into a game than having to study, mocap, animate, and then program the moves of authentic fighting styles.

On the other hand, Tekken has never needed characters of certain backgrounds to portray a certain fighting style. Bruce Irvin and Josie Rizal are not Thai, yet they both use Muay Thai in their own way. Leo is a German who uses Baji Quan. Steve is a British Boxer. You don’t necessarily need certain characters of a group just to have that fighting style. Though I could probably see how annoying it would be if you had mother fuckers just use anything and everything. I think the idea isn’t to limit characters of certain groups to their own homegrown fighting styles (even though that already happens with Chinese and Korean characters, yeah I know).

On th subject of a lack of Asian countries outside of the big 3… beats me. My only guess is national backdraft. China, Korea, and Japan have some deep seated prejudices against each other as well as other Asian nations. Maybe not so much Japan as they seem to take pity on Tibet, but this is a problem that all Japanese companies seem to have. They just don’t go outside of themselves, China and Korea. Could be them not wanting to upset whatever markets they have in China or Korea (hey, if Disney can white wash the Mandarin and the Ancient One for China’s sake, it’s safe to assume Japan is not above appeasing themm), hell it could be some shady trade agreement (like Sega not handing over Phantasy Star Online 2 allegedly because of an agreement with China over distribution) either way, Japan has some sort of phobia when regarding inclusion of other (east) Asian countries. When it comes to fighting games, Japan tends to pull from countries that are the most recognizable, and they trend surf (middle eastern characters seem to be on the rise).

All that said, there’s no real threat to their bottom line. And so long as that’s the case, I doubt there’s going to be any major push to go outside the main 3 Asian countries. Talim from Soul Calibur being a rare exception. But as far as their styles go, they have a better chance at appearing in the series.

Piece of advice, Sega (Yakuza 0)

Don’t fucking jump off to another story from the one you had the player invest in for a few hours.

I managed to find a real Yakuza game at a decent price. Long story short, I’ve only played the Zombie spinoff, so I don’t know what I was expecting. People have been recommending the Yakuza series to me for… a few years, actually. Never got around to them because…. well, they just didn’t interest me. Just seemed like one of those heavy niche games where you go around and talk endlessly about shit you wouldn’t care about or understand. The zombie game, I got because I’m one of those pathetic fools who are into zombies and shit. I know I know, I am the cause of the zombie saturation craze of the millennium. 😛

So 0 is my first actual foray into the Yakuza series…. and I keep asking myself “what the fuck am I playing!?”

I know Japan loves weird shit, but is it not bizarre to have to train a woman to be a good dominatrix? These games have some fucked up sidequests. There’s one where you have to chase down some punks to get back a stolen videogame (ok that’s not all around weird) … ok fuck it, it’s probably just that one side-quest. I hope it’s just that one side-quest. I mean….. I gotta sit and listen to an S&M situation!? Yeck! 

A lot of sidequests seem to amount to picking the right answers. Essentially having to teach people to be good at their professions. And getting that lovely ol’ angle of “look how much we know about how certain industries work!” Seems to be a running gag in ol’ Nihon, I hope it’s not a symptom of an age of decadence. Now, a big issue these games seem to have (yes, Dead Souls had this kind of shit too) is that characters have these long drawn out conversations where they get too wrapped up in details. It tends to drag out cutscenes for a much longer time than need be. When the game first starts out, it’s just cutscene after cutscene, and it doesn’t really go anywhere after a while. Oh you do some karaoke nonsense and I suppose that breaks up the monotony, but it takes way too long for the game to get interesting. 

Once it does, there isn’t much of a problem from that point on. The game turns into a sort of action thriller for a few hours. And the narrative starts to suck you in! 

The real problem doesn’t start until after you finish chapter 2. By the time you start to get some answers as to what is going on, the next chapter throws a curveball at you and completely focuses on a different story altogether. Now, instead of trying to solve a murder mystery, we’re trying to manipulate a hostess to work for you just so your business can get more money  from horny customers. 

And just like that, my interest rapidly declines. 

You don’t just do this kind of shit in games, especially an open world/RPG-esque title where you could take time to build up one character, his abilities, stats, inventory, and money. Because you lose access to all of that stuff in favor of starting a completely different story with the same measly stats, money, and abilities you had prior. I can’t think of a worse way to handle multiple stories in one game. Nevermind the amount of progress and weird shit I had to do in one playthrough including running all through town just to buy different brands of beer for homeless assholes (fuck, I hated this part) but by the time you finish all this stuff, it switches over to a new character entirely. Focusing on a completely different story and having to start at square fucking one. That is just lousy design. 

Obviously, they could’ve given you the option to play one out of 2 different stories, but I get the impression they did this because each character’s story is extremely short, and they bunch them together to artificially lengthen the main game. Same issue I had with Dead Souls. Switching off to another character comes without warning. You’ll never know what chapter it’s going to happen in, and even if you did, you’ll still be pissed. I wanted to continue this story with that psychic real estate guy. Now I havevto plow through Majima’s story just to get to it, that’s not fair to me. If I wanted to check out another character, that should be my choice, especially if the plots are hardly interconnected. For a game that looks like it had a big budget, this an amateurish design choice. And for Sega who’s done multi-character stories, you’d think they’d know better. 

This sort of shit works for Sonic Adventure 2 because switching from one character to the next is treated like some short break. Knuckles’s story isn’t given a whole lot of attention as he’s just hunting for jewels while a large chunk of that focus is going to Sonic and Tails trying to figure out what’s going on with Shadow. You don’t take extended hour long breaks from the main story. Instead, it’s just a short diversion. 

Yakuza 0 is giving me an hour long break  (that I never asked for) from a murder mystery just so I can pooch some girl from a competing restaurant, and in the process get some lesson on how to attract younger demographics from a company who can’t even do that with the fucking Sonic franchise. I want to continue Kiryu’s story, and Amma only knows how long that shit’ll take to get back to.

Well, I’ve only just started it, but this is just irritating. 

character creation to be less awesome? (SC6)

Now… that’s honestly not a whole lot to go on. I don’t quite remember how many items were in 5 off the top of my head, and in all honesty, im more concerned about the quality of the items. Despite having an abundance of shit you could put, a good chunk of those items were lame anyway and never fit into what I wanted. I could do without modern crap attire like Tennis shoes and what not.

What is bullshit is the inability to use libra characters in the actual game, you gotta go out and make them from scratch again? Namco has a bad habit of giving you less options and making shit inconvenient. What is the reason for that restriction? Extra programing for the team? Justify the price, goddammit!

Still, nothing too iffy, just doesn’t make a whole lick of sense. Also, if Tira is fightable in random CPU fights, that will be a big fuck you. Tired of fighting games showing off data that’s locked behind a pay wall.