2 can play that game! Or should! (Super Mario Bros, Sonic the Hedgehog)

You know what? Fuck gamers.

I guess if we’re all going to go back and look at the flaws of classic Sonic games, then for the sake of fair and balanced perceptions, we should also look into whether or not Super Mario Bros. is perfect. I mean… it’s only fair!

So SMB1 is what everyone would consider a perfect title for the NES. You have a game with 8 worlds and a character that could grow just by smoking mushrooms. I mean it’s SO perfect that we ignore the fact that it only has 4 levels. You get an open field, underground, underwater, and castle. And then these get recycled for several more levels later on to give the illusion that you are indeed exploring more of this Mushroom Kingdom. Far be it from me to criticize a primitive game for not having the adequate memory or specs to have more than 4-5 levels with different color palettes, but you gotta admit, it doesn’t make playing through the entire game anywhere near the phrase “rewarding”. One of the biggest joys of progression through a game is to gain access to new worlds, so progressing through levels just to get more levels that look and feel no different from the last few you’ve been through is downright boring. Nintendo apparently thought so because otherwise they wouldn’t give you the option to cheat your way through via the warp zones, but it’s hard to ignore the fact that this was a cheap way to obscure the fact that they just reused their own assets to make the game feel long in the most asinine ways possible.

But hey, it’s not a game that’s about interesting worlds, it’s about the challenge of platforming! Dodging enemies and making clever use of the terrain to defeat enemies and avoid obstacles displays the ever so intricate design of the game… so long as you can ignore the bridge levels that are nothing more than straight lines with fish that just jump out at random intervals, possibly because they got lazy and didn’t want to bother designing actual levels and figured it was “cheaper” to do this instead. Hey, that’s where those fish enemies got their name from! Oh and while we’re at it, lets have some of the castle levels feature these “guess the path” areas where you have to guess whether or not you have to take the top, middle, or bottom paths to complete the level, otherwise you have to replay that segment until you guess right. I don’t understand how anyone can consider this to be fun. Wouldn’t it have been better to design 3 different paths of varying difficulty? Like if one path wasn’t working out for you, you could take another on the second or 3rd try? You’ve already made it impossible to walk back a few screens to retrace your steps, so we’re forced to go through with this madness. It’s confusing that they would offer you warp zones to skip levels, but nothing to skip the bullshit of guesswork.

Super Mario Bros. is fun for about 4 levels, and then you’re on repeat from the rest of the way. The real fun comes from discovering little secrets in the game, not actually going through levels and taking down enemies. The real joy is checking every pipe to see if it has a secret area, finding ways around the levels and not actually playing through them to the end. And then you come to the conclusion that perhaps the game isn’t really all that fun. People are more focused on looking for secrets than challenging the game from beginning to end. And who can blame them? Once you’ve played one level, you’ve honestly played them all. Super Mario Bros. wasn’t about the platforming or the challenge, it was about finding ways to not play the game, so to speak. Players found it more rewarding to skip the bullshit as much as possible.

In comparison, Sonic the Hedgehog was a much shorter game, but each zone was different! You had more than 4 music tracks giving each zone their own distinct feel. And if you wanted to skip levels, you didn’t have to find secret warp zones to do that, you could enter a cheat code that lets you pick and choose exactly where you wanted to skip to, instead of having a preset destination. You actually remember each and every place you’ve been to in that game. SMB1, you just remember what pipes to slip into.

So, when Nintendo realized that SMB1 wasn’t all that fun, they decided not to piss off their audiences by…. NOT releasing the same exact game they had in mind. SMB2 was just going to be SMB1 with twice the bullshit, you already know this. But unlike Japanese players, I suppose Nintendo knew that we had better taste, and thus decided to port over a game that wasn’t even a Mario game. And ironically is probably the best Mario game ever created. SMB2 was just going to be reusing assets while Doki Doki Panic actually had multiple worlds that you could progress and get into. Many of them had a distinct feel to them that set them all apart. Or most of them, at least. Praise Amma that they did! I wouldn’t wanna play the same fucking game in a different cartridge. And with more douchbag level design? The guesswork maze castles weren’t sadistic enough? Not to mention you have 4 unique characters with different… jumps. Luigi could jump really high, and Peach could fly! Mario and Toad…. sucked. And you could do a SUPER jump!? Combat was also a lot more fun than the last time. Instead of jumps or fireballs you had to gain, you could grab enemies and/or objects to kick everyone’s ass. SMB(USA) was the shit! And it’s not even a real Mario game! This game does not get the fanfare that it deserves. Probably because the knowledge of it’s origins probably generates some level of shame in Mario fans in knowing that Nintendo had no confidence in the gameplay of SMB1 to sell to Americans a second time.

It’s a shame too because SMB3 goes back to same nonsense of the first 2 originals. But you know what? They actually did something with it. You now have actual worlds instead of just recycled assets that make up the majority of levels. There’s actual variation going on. You have a real story about multiple kingdoms being under siege by King Koopa, giving a sense that there is an actual world! Power ups also had the most variety of any Mario game to this day, and they weren’t just created to solve puzzles, but to make the game easier to play. SMB3 did a lot of things right… but there’s one thing that irked me back then. The lack of coop!

Sonic 2 and 3 had the feature for a second player to take control of an invincible Tails, and go through legions of enemies, traps, and bosses on the same screen. Why didn’t this happen for SMB3? I’m serious, that was a real hang up for me back then! We had 2 controllers for me and my sister, but only one game that had same screen coop, that was Spy vs Spy. I couldn’t stand having to wait my turn before I could play again! And if memory serves as I haven’t played SMB3 is decades…. but 2 player was strictly turn-based…. but you could BATTLE each other by selecting the same space that the other player was on in a version of the original Mario Bros? Was that in SMB3? If so, you have same screen coop (or vs) right there, but not in the actual game!? What the literal shit!? When I got the Sega Genesis for Christmas with Sonic 2, I was seriously looking at SMB with disappointment. Me and my Sister could play Sonic games on the same fucking screen, through the main game…. at LEAST until the final boss because Tails would wreck Robotnik’s ass, but the point was Sega at least let us have this! Nintendo, for some reason, didn’t think coop (REAL coop) was important. Or… Miyamoto didn’t. Sakurai at least knew how to make fun platformers. So instead, we had to go back to taking turns. I could only imagine if we both could play through the game at the same time, we would probably crush those fucking Koopa Kids!

Not to mention…. I know SMB2 wasn’t a real Mario game, but fuck… you only had 2 characters, one of which was exclusive to player 2 iirc. They both had the same kind of jumps, there was no super jumps, oh they retained the ability to grab enemies, but that was limited to koopas and beetles, and only seemed to function for the purpose of hitting blocks on the ground. But in a way, it felt like a major downgrade. Now in order to have a really gratifying experience, you had to find powerups. Maybe it’s just me, but the one thing I absolutely hate about the Mario games of old is this insidious dependency on finding powerups and having to hold onto them to have a semblance of variation in your abilities. Something that Sonic 3 did without compromise, btw. The characters started having their own abilities in addition to new powerups. Mario could just run and do a bigger jump. That’s it! If you want to do something more than be propelled by the methane from your ass, you needed powerups. Yes, the powerups in SMB3 were fun once you got them, and having the inventory to store powerups for later use was a genius idea… but in SMB2, you weren’t beholden to powerups to have fun. You had the ability to interact with the game’s environments and enemies without the need of jumping through some fucking hoop of needing a prior powerup. You could grab anything without restriction. And again, SMB3 is a game that’s more fun for it’s secrets and extras rather than actually playing the game. You had the toad houses which would reward you powerups if you beat their games, you had the flute that lets you skip levels (I can’t remember if it was random or not, but I don’t recall the option to choose your own levels) etc. Playing the game straight is actually not as fun. Infact, it’s pretty tedious. Enemies were more about surprises making them an annoyance. The little fuckers inside the blocks that jump around were always a pain in the ass, being chased by the sun felt more like a poor man’s version of the bridge levels in SMB1, and autoscrolling levels being in the game at all. SMB3 was more 1 step forward and 3 steps back. Call me spoiled by SMB2, but you can’t beat having access to multiple characters, a practical attack function, and the lacking need for powerups.

And then Super Mario World just made…. things…. worse. One thing I never talked about was the music, and again, that’s something SMB2 had over all the other games, again, because it wasn’t a Mario game. The best music from SMB3 was the boss music. Was actually pretty good! Now… I know Super Nintendo games had awesome music, but SMW had the WORST soundtrack in all the series. It was absolute SHIT, and anyone who argues otherwise is a liar. The music in this game was garbage. The sound effects sounded so minscule and cheap, and this is compared to SMB3 where everything popped. From the opening, the game doesn’t try to convince you that it’s awesome. It’s main theme is so horrifically childish, it sounds like crap you’d hear in an elementary school play, that’s how horrible it is. I don’t know if this was the time in which Nintendo was considered family friendly, but it wasn’t a good look when your mascot was sporting crap music like this. I mean…. to drive home how much of a shit Nintendo wouldn’t give, they named the worlds in this game after food. Gee willickers! Everyone said that Nintendo was arrogant at the time, and the fact that they didn’t even try to make this game look good within its package shows that level of conceit. the music got crappy in some areas for SMB3, but it made a certain kind of sense. The game opened up with the curtains pulling back to show what is a stage play, so the music, shit as it was, was stylized like a Broadway show. Here’s, it’s just ass. Here’s some dorky afterschool special for some reason! We’ve got football players as well! A perfect fit!

It’s bad enough that World is a monumental downgrade from SMB3. All the neat powerups you had were reduced to a cape which was just a better version of the Raccoon feather. That’s the only new power up you have in the game. Well, unless you count Yoshi which…. is it’s only real improvement. You no longer had an inventory for power ups on the world map, that was a stupid move. Maybe I wanted to pull a Yoshi out of my ass if I’m in a jam? World basically forces you to go back to hitting random boxes in the hopes that you’ll actually find something you can use. Gimmicks like running up walls or climbing cages that you could punch are few and far between, and the real crux of newness comes strictly from Yoshi’s heartburn. Mario and Luigi felt like Guile at this point. They couldn’t do shit else besides run and jump. At the very least, they included a save system this time!

But…. again! And I talked about this before! Where is the real coop!? Even obscure games like Shadow of the Ninja, River City Ransom, and more had coop! These are NES games! The original Mario Bros had coop! Balloon Fight had Coop! Ice Climbers had Coop! These primitive, 8-bit games took advantage of the fact that you could plug in 2 different controllers for the sake of 2 people enjoying the game game together! That’s.. that’s kind of the point of putting multiple controller sockets onto your machine! What pants-shitting excuse do you have to NOT include coop in Super Mario World!? On your newest console, no less!? The last thing I’d want to do on a videogame console with 2 controllers attached is to wait my fucking turn when I’m already plugged in! What is the point!? Sonic 2 didn’t have this bullshit! Don’t give me this “Oh well Tails can get left behind“, the fact is Sega did what Nintendidn’t, and would not do for Mario until 2009! What excuse did they have!? I know the concept of “couch coop” is so antithetical to you babies of today, but back then we actually LIKED being around people! You know how often kids asked if a game you were playing was “2 Player?” VERY FUCKING OFTEN!! We wanted to jump right the fuck in! No one wants to wait to slam some buttons! Nintendo could eat shit back then with this crap!

Getting back on point, SMW cuts back on features and power ups and tries to be…. nothing better than SMB3 or 1 combined. The worlds don’t feel all that unique from each other, the graphics are ugly…. yes. Just look at Mario’s sprite, its terrible. He looks like a cartoon version of Saddam. On top of it, the game is largely forgettable and by the numbers. Like they really put less thought into this one than they did for SMB3. The Koopa Kids go from usurping kingdoms from across the land…. to stealing eggs. WOW! I really feel that the whole world is under siege now that an entire species of useless yoshis are kidnapped by Bowser’s koopalings! Did they not…. even care that the stakes couldn’t be lower in this game? Oh the Yoshi’s become the best thing about Mario games, for sure, but conquest of kingdoms =/= Stealing Eggs. There is nothing about World to feel excited for. It’s such a massive downgrade compared to 2 and 3 that the fans do a disservice to themselves and to others by declaring that it’s so great. At this late date, there was no excuse for not having coop. No excuse in cutting back on the powerups, removal of inventory space, it went back to being a by the numbers Mario game that was more about looking for secrets than actually playing the game. Half the time it felt like they were trying to show off the graphical capabilities of the Super Nintendo than they were trying to make a good game. You have these giant bullet bills that appear at the beginning but rarely anywhere else in the game to probably say that “we can have big ass sprites on screen now!” Yeah, and Mega Man could too, they were called minibosses, and that’s in 8-bit form. You’ve got the boos that were no doubt about showing off their transparency effects, shit like that comes at the expense of a more enjoyable experience.

The problem I’ve noticed with the old Mario games is that only the first one is truly memorable to people. You’ll get some heads that will recall the times they had with SMB2 or 3 and literally no one for World, but it’s the very first game that people that gets all the love and adoration from people. It’s only the hardcore Nintendo fans that will call back to 3 and World, but they’ll likely remember Yoshi’s island before giving World any props. I think it’s because of the simplicity. SMB1 didn’t have a lot of shit going on, and the most complexity one could expect was from the stupid castle mazes. 3 and World started making things more complex with the need to navigate overworld maps, having to find alternate paths to press switches and thus changing certain levels up by the addition of extra platforms. The games required more work and thus became a choir to play through. Sonic games kept things simple for the most part. The player had more freedom to explore levels without the need to backtrack to areas just to find secrets, they were action games first and foremost. The most complexity you had was S3K’s special stages and that goddamn drum, but another advantage was that Sonic games didn’t feel overly long. You had fewer zones, but they all felt unique. Mario had more worlds, but many of the levels felt recycled just to prolong the game’s length, and this is a bad habit of Nintendo in general. This obsessive need to pad out the length of a game that the actual longevity comes from nonsensical design flaws like fetch quests in Wind Waker. And that often leads to some inconsistency. Some of the worlds in SMB3, for instance, don’t have all of their levels that share the same theme of the world they’re in. Or the worlds aren’t distinct enough that they needed to. So making a long game when everything feels like it’s on repeat is something of a dick move. And Nintendo kept doing this with Mario games ever since. You just don’t hear about it. 64 reused tiles and concepts more often than not. You have 2 grassy worlds, 4 water worlds, 2 snow worlds, 2 lava worlds, 4 sky worlds (including the bonus levels)… hell, the most unique world in that whole game was the clock. And by the time you got the sky world, it just looks like a bigger version of the wing cap stage. While everyone is deadset focused on intricate mechanics and puzzles, they ignore how lazy most of the work is. Mario games start feeling repetitive the longer you play one of them because you start to notice the lacking variety in levels and challenges.

You could tell just by SMb3 and World alone that Nintendo lacked any desire to make an action game, and the switch (pun intended) from action game to mandated fetch quests of stars in 64 removed all doubt. At least now, they didn’t have an excuse to reuse levels and assets to prolong the game, but instead you revisit the same levels to complete different goals. Sonic, you revisit levels because they’re actually fun to play through, not because you have to. But like I said before, they did that anyway! 64 reused assets to make more of their worlds, so you don’t really have that much in the way of variety. 15 worlds, and really just 4 of them that are unique from the rest. From that point on, finding secrets became the defacto end goal for Mario games, so the necessity to have interesting concepts and worlds was not a factor, and has led to Mario games feeling stagnant. At least until Odyssey which took some cues from Sega by the looks of it.

So when we do ofcourse get to NSMB, of course it’s better than most of the old titles primarily because it has real coop, but also because the characters some of their modern abilities like ground pounding, grabbing and throwing, wall jumps, etc. But again, it has the same problem. The game feels longer than it needs to be, and the real joy is, again, in finding secrets. Without coop, the game is nothing but a Mario World clone. And this is important as even the Mario fans hate these games. So in reality, they hate Mario World by extension. 😛

The most fun you can have from Mario comes from the spinoffs, not the main series. More people look back fondly on Mario Kart and the RPGs than the main series. When you actually play the main series games, you get bored fast. They are too long, often for the wrong reason, and there is never a single moment in the games that are memorable Outside of Boo’s Haunting Lodge, and it’s just endless work half the time. They should’ve taken more cues from Doki Panic. They should’ve given us multiple characters with distinct abilities that made playing through the game less of a chug. But no, that requires more work on their part, and Miyamoto clearly hated working on these games. The only thing that’s really superior about Mario games over Sonic is their sales numbers. But if the current attitude toward Pokemon is any indication, that’s mostly a result of people that don’t have an eye for quality, but rather an eye for familiarity. Mario is a very familiar name. He’s the most recognizable video game character on earth. So it’s no question that people will buy Mario games instinctively. But how much fun are they when they’re not named Mario Kart?

And if we’re allowed to say that Sonic games only sold well because they were bundled with the Genesis, the same can apply to Mario. Afterall, that is LITERALLY the argument Mario fans themselves made for why NSMBW sold so well. No?

Pixar Pussies

I think I should clarify what this means.

These are fans that have no real eye for quality. They are manchildren who grew up on a steady diet of straight laced children’s programming. They’re more likely to be fans of Spongebob and Nickelodean television than they would be for works like Samurai Jack. I give them the label of Pixar as Pixar is often heralded as GODS by them, conveniently hiding behind their success as a shield for when the quality of Pixar movies come into question. Often, Pixar makes good films, but they’re held up to such an unbelievable standard that you would think John Lassiter shits gold everytime a movie comes out. So much for Toy Story 4, eh?

These kinds of people automatically rush to anything that seems “charming“. IE full of cartoony characters with wholesome family fun and emotional storylines. Though the latter certainly isn’t required. If there’s any semblance of cuteness involved, it’s an automatic win. These types of fans obsessively gravitate toward Disney and Nintendo as they are the 2 companies that shell out their “charming” works. Though they ignore stuff like Kirby and Klonoa. They believe quality comes strictly in the form of family friendly entertainment. Though that’s probably the slapstick humor that is selling them, and they’re not aware of it. In many ways, they believe that these types of works, with colorful aesthetics and simple storylines are the key to success. On the other hand, they shun the very concept of “edge” and are more likely to throw shade at such works like “Dredd” and “Doom 4” because of their over the top violence and gore. They see them as juvenile and “trying to hard“.

Also in some cases, because of the last point, they believe that gravitating towards “charming” works makes them appear more “mature and sophisticated” than others because they’re willing to invest in children’s entertainment and enjoy it the way it is, or for the artistic reason of finding adult themes in it’s most simplistic forms. They’re the first to justify their tastes by throwing out buzzwords like “fun“. They find no joy in realistic works period. Strictly cartoons. Ironically, they pride themselves in having an open mind, but are prone to popular consensus. They won’t look at anything that isn’t popular. Bomberman and Kirby are never on the Radar. Works like Mario and Pokemon are often their go to videogames, but works like Yokai Watch won’t get their attention unless they’re Japanese.

In other words, they are conceited bastards who think by glorifying family friendly cartoon products, that they are somehow higher than you.

So NOW people hate Pokemon? (Mindless Ramble)

Pokemon Sword and Shield are curently the most controversial Pokemon games since… ever. The Pokemon Defense Force, the most unstoppable apologists on the internet since Ruby and Sapphire shat the bed with it’s unending oceans, have actually done LESS work in trying to stifle criticism this time around as the critics are no longer afraid of saying that Pokemon games have been getting worse, and they’re not letting anyone tell them otherwise. “The series is for kids, it’ll sell millions anyway, it’s not a fad” all of these arguments and more are not reaching people as it becomes clearer and clearer that S&S will not live up to the hype. From the lack of a National Dex, to Gamefreak stating that Pokemon is NOT on their priority list, and to cheap looking animations in a $60 console game, there seems to be a revolt in the fandom.

Took yah long enough!

Pokemon as a series hasn’t been good since the 5th generation as Pokemon generations started coming out sooner and sooner, feeling rushed, having terrible pokemon designs, forgettable characters, a lack luster story based around saving the world, the ridiculous decision to remove gym leaders in favor of Orange Island styled objectives (or something), and most of all…. the general stagnation of the formula. Since Pokemon games kept coming out sooner and sooner, the same old battle system and slow pacing of the main game would become more pronounced, and completion of any of these games leave players unsatisfied. There’s often nothing of worth to do after completing the games, and everyday, we have to go online and see complaints of shitty endgame content because we know damn well nothing can compete with Gold and Silver’s addition of a second region with 8 more gym leaders to fight.

People had to come to terms with the fact that the majority Pokemon audience…. are those that actually grew up on the series and have access to better games. So the tried and true “Pokemon is for kids so shut up” defense wasn’t going to cut it anymore. Not that it was ever a good excuse as the most cash heavy audiences tend to be in the 20s-early 30s anyway. Nintendo seemed to acknowledge that when they kept going back and giving older pokemon new shit to mess around with. Mega Evolutions, Alolan forms, shit! Who cares about NEW POKEMON anymore!? Our current demographic will like the older ones no matter how many retarded ideas we pump out!”

And when people get older, they will get tired of something if it never improves.

Our problem (I say “our” because I am just as guilty) is/was that we kept giving the series the benefit of the doubt. We always claim the games to be good even though they aren’t satisfying. A result of Pixar Pussy-ism, if you will. Idk what it is. If a game tends to be overly light-hearted with a mountain of cute shit on top of having overly happy and cheerful characters and settings, we turn a blind eye to it’s flaws. We automatically restrain and paralyze ourselves from going in on a product heavy because of the anxiety we feel from criticizing something that is “for kids“. As though our image of maturity was at stake if we were caught dead trying to dissect the flaws of a children’s videogame. Because if it’s designed for a child, it is IMMUNE from criticism. Because a child does not have the cognitive functions necessary to determine what is quality work (because they’ll likely not give a shit so long as you press a button and they can hump the nearest tree), the work in question cannot be challenged because you are not the intended audience, and the intended audience is literally incapable of challenging it. So it will often feel silly to older people to demand better from children’s entertainment if only for said older people to enjoy it more. The person would appear immature, inconsiderate, naive, possibly selfish, petty, and unwilling to move on. Disregarding the notion of familiarity, the person would be ostracized for voicing concern that the series he or she grew up with is not up to par. And the argument simply boils down to “You grew out of it, and you have to move on.“

That isn’t happening with Pokemon. The audience range skews toward those that started off in the 90s (me) and early 2000s. Most kids ain’t fucking with Pokemon like they did back then. All those glorious sales are coming from adults. As that is the case, people are now going on these tangents about Pokemon’s low quality being derived from the fact that Pokemon was always about merchandise, nevermind how obvious that has been for years, it ignores the fact that it is an apologetic statement meant to discredit any arguments of quality reduction within the series. Because we’re heading back into that cultist mindset of Nintendo fans. You’re not supposed to be criticizing the series for any reason no matter how valid. You can’t hate the Honey Trees, the shoddy designs of newer Pokemon (namely that retarded ass ice cream bitch), the lousy gimmicks of growth hormone power ups (Dynamax w/e the fuck it’s called), the removal of gym leaders, stories centered around anime cliches of kids saving the world from goofy villains and straying far the fuck away from competition, NOTHING! At some point, people were going to get sick of being told not to be upset. Not to be disappointed in something. Older people are going to naturally seek better. As a child, you don’t have a lot of freedom to do what you want, so you’re going to be satisfied with what you get whether you like it or not. When you get older, you’re going to start expecting better. You want a better life, you want more freedom, you want certain things your way instead of them being dictated to you. So no, you’re not gonna be satisfied with stagnation of a particular hobby or entertainment product, and the folks online telling you NOT to voice dissent are going to be nothing more than jackasses to you.

As it is, the games still mostly sell because, since the audience is old fucks, there’s that familiarity. “I grew up with the series and I don’t want to miss out on the next installment“. Not everyone buys games because of high quality, lets get out of this narrow-minded perception that the Pokemon games (of today) are high quality and thus is why they sell. When you see people posting online that they will buy 2 or 3 copies of the same game to support a company, you really don’t know if games are selling out of popular consensus or because of some ulterior reasoning. Gamers will refuse to buy what could be a high quality game for “politically motivated reasons” (Mafia 3) and will tell all sorts of lies and mistruths to justify such a move. Pokemon games are only “high quality” because they have not changed fundamentality since the 90s, and that in itself isn’t good. A lot of people talk about Sonic games being bad because they keep going through genre changes and forgetting the fundamentals of the older games, but what the fuck good does that do when these days people will give the finger to the old games for some nonsense like lacking time trials or some other bullshit ass reason? Gamers (online) have no cohesion to their claims, it’s why I look at the disparity between NSMB and SMG as a case study of how full of shit they are when they claim gameplay is the most important. Que the jackass that says “well they’re both still good games, no one is claiming otherwise” but you are claiming one is superior based on production values and a story, that’s the fucking point.

Pokemon’s core issue is having incredibly slow paced battle systems IE turn-based crud. Turn-Based combat isn’t good. It’s not exciting, battles are determined by mindless predictions and luck, you have to sit through a million text boxes to reaffirm that it’s raining on the field followed by a goddamn rain animation, it’s sluggish. 4th Generation was the WORST when it came to battle pacing, but it’s barely any better now. How do you fix the battle system? Look at Xenoblade. That’s a start! Have the pokemon be given default auto-attacks while you have skill cooldowns and not rely on PP to say how many times you can use a move. Stop limiting all attacks to 4 moves per rodents you have on your team. Stop requiring HMs to progress (I hear that’s been done?), don’t make it where I have to win a badge before Pokemon at a certain level will obey me.

If you’re not gonna improve the combat, at least improve the content. Pokemon’s content has been absolute total shit since the 3rd generation. You could tell just by how linear the overworld maps have become! Instead of elaborate routes with twists and turns like a normal road, you just get circles and vertical roads. If you’re not gonna make the pokemon look cool, at least make the NPCs interesting. I don’t give a fuck about how much knowledge they have of Pokemon because it doesn’t make them human. Detective Pikachu had more interesting humans because their lives didn’t revolve around a Pikachu and a Psyduck. That side story in X & Y involving the little homeless bitch was literally THE BEST FUCKING PLOT in years because it wasn’t about her creepy eyed cat thing called espurr, it was literally about her getting a job and becoming Homeless Kamen Rider. Not some shit about saving the world from crazy extremists who can’t stand getting old. That shouldn’t have just been relegated to endgame content, there should have been more shit like this overall. Instead, you just get people who talk about what their dog shit pokemon can do to make their lives better. Put in some “interesting” side quests that you can do outside of the main game that could create some longevity for the game itself. Notice I said “interesting”. This does not include Pokemon Contests or shit like Battle Frontier. Side quests like those found in better RPGs gives you insight on the world, has interesting diversions from the plot, gives you a sense of purpose outside of just fucking around and being the best like no one ever was. The only time Pokemon has any sidequests are when you turn on the tv to watch that god awful cartoon.

What’s the point of having a new region at all when everyone has the same goddamn culture? Everyone has the same story and upbringing? What expansion upon the lore of the pokemon world can these new nations bring to me that isn’t centered on some bullshit ass legend tied to a legendary Pokemon? It’s like one nation conquered every region on Earth and super-imposed their culture onto the world. X & Y talked about wars being fought in the past, but over what!? And why!? Why the fuck should I care? Instead of culture being based on shared experiences of the game world, culture is based on advertising new features. X & Y is about fashion statements because for once, you get to customize your character, what is that shit!? “Oh hey, well that’s something!” No it isn’t. It’s not enough to just have these things, they need to be of actual quality and make these regions feel unique. Cause I know some overly defensive dicks will point out the fact that Alola not having Gyms is exactly what I want, and thus my demands have been met. “OMG invalidated, but you gave up on the series before then lolzers!“

Speaking of which, what’s the point of having version exclusive gym leaders when you don’t have any interactions with them beyond kicking their asses (once) and being rewarded with empty rhetoric of them singing your praises? None of the characters in Pokemon should have any established fanbase simply because they are literally all the same cardboard cutouts, but because Pokemon fans are the original Pixar Pussies, we’ll sing the praises of twats like Cynthia because she’s a female champion. She doesn’t do shit else but appear around DP to talk about nothing, doesn’t bother to help you fight Cyrus or even help fight Giratina, but hey, there’s plenty of material to draw porn from! Did anyone care that they brought back Red and Blue for Sun and Moon? I mean for what!? To pray on nostalgia? Oh look, Nessa shows navel and can raise her leg to the heavens. INSTANT WIN!!!

The fact that none of this is taken into account for well over 2 decades, it was bound to reach a boiling point. But we sweep those gripes under the rug because “it’ll sell anyway“. No shit, sherlock! What people are saying is they should be getting something more for having supported the series for their whole lives. That’s what every gamer feels if they stuck with any franchise. But instead, we get the same old rhetoric. “It sells well, so there is NO problem to be solved. Why put in more work when you don’t have to?” See, that’s why you can’t get all your information online, you get stuck with all this dis-empowering cynicism. “There’s just nothing we can do!” The problem with that level of conceit is that nothing lasts forever. You can’t have a franchise stagnate this badly and last this long without an overwhelming amount of merchandise on hand. Same for Disney’s Cars franchise. 3 billion profits for shitty movies!? Fuck! Merchandise is God is profit making! And would explain why Pokemon lasted so long with shit content and a shit battle system. It’s sad that the most successful Pokemon anything in the last decade was an app that got people killed, and dropped in popularity faster than Battleborn.

You know, I tried to psych myself up for Sword and Shield, and… I just couldn’t BS myself into wanting to play it. I just know what to expect. I don’t even bother catching a full party of 6 pokemon, I just take 3 with me, give them a variety of differently typed moves, and wipe my ass with the world’s tears. How the hell anyone can be excited… well, I did play this shit since Yellow so my fatigue would occur sooner than everyone else. Maybe we’re all just coming to the realization that we wasted more time on this shit than we should’ve. Possibly missing out on better RPGs at the time. Boy, if I discovered PSO1 on Gamecube before 2006, I would never have gone back to Pokemon. Hell, even MMXCM is better than most Pokemon games.

Doing it Better: Neo Sonic 8 (Act 2-2)

Sonic and Danny had arrived on the scene!

SONIC: There they are!
DANNY: Aww man, cops!?
SONIC: You don’t have to expose yourself. Just stay out of sight! I’ll deal with the big guy!
DANNY: Wait, what about-

And Sonic is gone!

DANNY: Hey! Oh…

He looks ahead to see Zavok is still beating up the cops. And then he sees Elise looking as terrified as can be.

DANNY: …Who is she!?

And here, we get a segment that I KNOW would get bad reviews! OMG FORCED STEALTH SEGMENTS! But hey, if Spiderman on the PS4 can get away with them, so can I! Or is this the part where we say Sonic isn’t allowed to do anything but sporting events with Mario?

NOTE: Ok, this part is going to seem a bit underdeveloped because for some reason, everytime I type it up, the whole block keeps getting deleted, and I’m tired of having to write that shit over and over after 6 times. Idk what it is, maybe it’s this notepad app or this keyboard is jacked up, idk. So, because I am sick of writing this same part, here’s the dialog pieces only.

After Zavok rams into cars and you sneak behind him through an underground shaft.

DANNY: Pss! Hey! Over here!
ELISE: *looks back* Huh? Who are you?
DANNY: Danny! Come on! We gotta go!
ELISE: But-

*BOOM*

ZAVOK: *evil laugh*
ELISE: Ok, ok!

After Zavok discovers Elise is gone and crashes through a wall.

ELISE: *whispers* Thank you!
DANNY: *whispers* Yeah yeah, just keep up!
ELISE: Where are we going?
DANNY: Anywhere but here!

After reaching a dead end.

DANNY: Come on.
ELISE: Up there!? Why can’t we just stay here and wait for him to leave!?

Zavok then breaks through the shaft gates.

DANNY: That’s why!

After hiding behind crates and Zavok gets too close.

ELISE: Danny, I’m scared!
DANNY: Shh! He’ll hear us!

After Zavok walks away.

DANNY: Ok, come on! through that box!

After heading into the construction site.

ELISE: Can we hide here!?
DANNY: Better than where we were before!

Zavok crashes into a crane!

ELISE: *screams*
DANNY: Shut up, shut up!
ZAVOK: You cannot hide forever! I will grind your bones to dust!

After reaching the exit of construction *End Segment*

DANNY: Here!
ELISE: Ok!

Zavok then tosses a piece of rebar at the wall in front of them!

DANNY & ELISE: WHOA!!!
ZAVOK: Where do you think you’re going, children!?
DANNY: Uh oh!
ZAVOK: To defy me is to commit blasphemy of the highest order! Are you prepared to pay the price of your souls!?

Then Sonic jumps into the area!

SONIC: You’re only saying that because they made you look stupid, Zavok!
ZAVOK: GRAAH! That voice!!! You finally come!
ELISE: *smiles* Sonic!
DANNY: You know him!?
SONIC: Let em go! It’s me you want, isn’t it!?
ZAVOK: You are correct! After our last battle, your name was all that came to mind! And that explosion of power! You are indeed full of surprises!
SONIC: Gee! I didn’t think a “blank slate” would leave that kind of impression on the demigod of destruction!
ZAVOK: Indeed! But one question has flown through my thoughts over and over! What are the limits of your power!? How far can you take it!?
SONIC: (What’s with this guy!? He did all of this to fight me? I’m still sore from what that “Imperator” did to me! I couldn’t even fight this guy one on one last time!)
ZAVOK: Shall we begin, Hedgehog!?

Hey gais!? I hurd u liek sum UNWINNABLE BOSS FIGHTS!!! Well.. it’s more like an endurance match (kinda pointless with the rings, I know) in that you have to last for about a minute. You start off with 60 rings, each of Zavok’s attacks take off about 5 rings.

After surviving about 60 seconds, it becomes clear that Sonic doesn’t have the energy to fight.

ZAVOK: What’s this!? You dare face me at half strength!? Such conceit will cost you your life!
SONIC: *huffing* What’d you expect!? Some of us got better things to do than play with you! Maybe I could’ve been rock climbing, and you decided our little feud couldn’t wait!

And Zavok knocks his ass to the ground!

ZAVOK: I’ll not tolerate your excuses!
ELISE: Come on! Get up!
DANNY: He can’t! He got beat up earlier!

Danny then looks toward a crane with several steel bars… which Zavok was walking under!

DANNY: I got an idea!
ELISE: Huh!?

Danny rushes over to the crane… which was conveniently turned on! 😛

DANNY: Ok, ok. How do you… uh…

Zavok inches closer to Sonic who was crawling away.

ZAVOK: I believe this is what you mortals refer to as…. “deja vu!” What a waste of time! To think someone such as you could be worthy…
SONIC: Worthy of what!?
ZAVOK: ….No matter! You won’t live long to find out!

Danny finally finds the control to release the beams, and wastes no time initiating it!

DANNY: SONIC! LOOK OUT!!!

Sonic sees the beams falling, and rolls out of the way!

ZAVOK: What!?

Zavok looks up… and is then CRUSHED!

ELISE: YOU GOT HIM!!!
DANNY: Yes!
SONIC: Whew! I’m glad you said something! Ugh…

Elise and Danny rush to Sonic’s aid and lift him off the ground.

ELISE: Oh no, Sonic! Are you ok!?
SONIC: Well I…. passed out for a moment. That… I’m too tired to joke…
DANNY: Come on! Lets get him out of here before that guy wakes up!

They all leave the area.

As Danny predicted, Zavok gets out from under the steel beams, punching them all over the yard! He searches frantically for Sonic… but cannot find him!

ZAVOK: ………GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! I WILL FIND YOU, YOU FEEBLE HEDGEHOG!!!

*Brocklon*

Later that day, Danny and Elise carry Sonic back to his house.

SONIC: I owe you one, new guy. I mean that.
DANNY: Hey, you saved me. Least I could do, right?
ELISE: You were in trouble?
DANNY: Er… well…
SONIC: They threw him in the slammer.
ELISE: What!? That’s awful! You’re my age!!
DANNY: I thought you knew how things worked around here!
ELISE: Uh.. no, I’m from Apotos!
DANNY: Oh.
SONIC: They lock up kids regularly here?
DANNY: Only the ones that look like me.
ELISE: Huh?
DANNY: Nevermind. Forget I said anything.
SONIC: Look, I know you just got out of the joint, but did you learn anything about GTC that might help us?
DANNY: No more than what my friend told me.
SONIC: Huh. Oh yeah, your mother said something about your friend getting….
DANNY: Yeah.
SONIC: How was he involved?
DANNY: He wanted to know about the drug itself. Said he wanted to be like his Dad.
ELISE: What was his Dad like?
DANNY: He was some sort of detective from Spagonia. His family moved here after he died. And… he was the only Mobian that ever bothered to visit us.
SONIC: Your friend was a Mobian?
DANNY: Yeah. “Elias” was his name. That drug you guys were talking about hit our streets about 6 months ago. And he traced it back to GTC with little trouble. He gave me all of his notes too just in case something happened to him.
ELISE: Wow, he really trusted you, huh?
SONIC: So how did he… you know?
DANNY: Elias snuck into Ridgemond to get more info, but one of the gang members snitched him out. The guards found him and beat him with steel pipes. And they video taped the whole thing to scare people away from their warehouse.
SONIC: Damn…
ELISE: …..How could anyone do such a thing!?
DANNY: After that, no one wanted to go near Ridgemond. The guys who did it got off, and no one’s gone after them since.
SONIC: And that’s why you snuck in?
DANNY: Yeah. I didn’t get far. They caught me as soon as I got near the building.
SONIC: You’re lucky they didn’t beat you to death.
DANNY: Maybe. But they were gonna give me 50 years just for being there.
SONIC: Alright, I officially hate the UF! This place sucks!
ELISE: I don’t know what to think after hearing that. But it’s really a good thing they didn’t hurt you. *smiles* Seems like a waste of a good guy! And a handsome one-
DANNY: I’m gonna stop you right there! Don’t even joke about that!
ELISE: >_>
SONIC: Pff! You don’t like compliments or something?
DANNY: You don’t know what people would do to me if they thought we… nevermind!
SONIC: Jeez, how does anyone LIVE in this country!?

*Danny’s House*

They all return to find Amy, Rouge, and Marine sitting around with Danny’s mother.

AMY: Sonic!?
MOTHER: DANNY!!!

And she hugs all 3 of them, lifting them all into the air!

DANNY: Ack! Mama, stop!
MOTHER: Oh my baby is home!! My baby is home!!!
SONIC: Baby can’t breathe!!!
ELISE: At least she loves you! Ergh!
MOTHER: What the..

Then she drops them!

MOTHER: Who in the hell is this whi-
SONIC: A friend of ours! At least she’s clean, right!?
ELISE: ……….

Later, they all talk for a bit.

AMY: Well I’m glad everything worked out! All things considered! Who’d have thought that Zavok would return?
ROUGE: Or that children could be given life sentences? This trading company must have a lot of influence in government.
MOTHER: What corporation doesn’t? That dumbass President of ours ain’t gonna take charge so long as they keep funding his campaigns!
MARINE: In other words, this place sucks! Now where’s the real bulletin?
SONIC: What happened to Robotnik?
ROUGE: Are you kidding? He got out of that place as fast as possible. Yes, he left us behind.
SONIC: Right… so where’s the bulletin?
ROUGE: We don’t have anything new other than what we already know! Until those kids can find their notes we don’t have anything. *To Mother* Speaking of which, how come you didn’t give them anything related to this case?
MOTHER: You think Danny shares anything with me? He keeps all the secrets in the world!
MARINE: Probably because you’d hold him back!
AMY: *whispers* Marine!
MOTHER: Well he IS my son, and he was just sent to a real prison!
MARINE: And Sonic had to be the one to bust him out!
SONIC: Marine, shut up!
MARINE: He probably should live with his aunt! She seems to have a few screws attached! And she looks good too!
MOTHER: You little (bleep)!

Sonic then drags Marine outside!

SONIC: Marine, what the hell is wrong with you!? Stop insulting her!
MARINE: Well she should stop being an insult! I don’t think she actually cares about her kid!
SONIC: What would give you that idea!?
MARINE: Look around you! This look like a nice spot to raise children?
SONIC: That’s none of our business! We need Danny’s help, and we can’t get that with you mouthing off!

>If you helped Knuckles over Blaze<
MARINE: Right, right! The mission comes before anything else! That what you said in Mazuri with my obvious lookalike?
SONIC: That was different! And when did you care about anyone else if it didn’t have anything to do with your weird experiements!?

Sonic and Marine continue to argue as Elise peaks out of a window.

ELISE: What are they doing?
DANNY: Uh… who?
ELISE: …..No one. It’s not important.
DANNY:
ELISE: Do you…. like it here?
DANNY: In the neighborhood? Not really. But we don’t have the money to move out. So you just make the best of it.
ELISE: That’s unfortunate.
DANNY: It wasn’t all that bad. Elias was around often, and he kept the peace more or less. The gangs all hated him, but they couldn’t touch him. Whoever runs GTC has some hardcore fighters on their team.

Danny pulls out some folders.

DANNY: Got em!

Later, Rouge goes through all the documents that Elias had compiled

ROUGE: Jerome Wise? He’s supposed to be dead!
DANNY: Really?
ROUGE: A deadly shoot out with GUN. Topaz told me a while ago. He was the owner of the company?
DANNY: Yeah, after some… “horndykes disappeared.
ROUGE: Right, that family out of Spagonia. They originally owned the company as a means to expand their influence on a global scale, dealing with exports of furniture. I guess that’s not profitable anymore.
AMY: Abduction of random Mobians and…. harvesting of their organs!?
ROUGE: This Elias must’ve thought you had a helluva stomach for this! He’s got a long list of names.
DANNY: Those were the Mobians that were taken.
ELISE: A lot of those names sound like they came from other countries!
ROUGE: Pretty clever using their branches across the world to kidnap several times the amount of Mobians to create enough supply for demand! *continues reading* There seems to be something missing. This page here was torn out.
DANNY: Oh yeah, he gave that to someone else. Said it was too dangerous for me to have.
ROUGE: Well at least he cares.
AMY: Who did he give it to?
DANNY: I don’t know. All I know is he’s the current champion of the Battle Highway Circuit.
ELISE: Battle Highway!? They host it here!? Really!?
DANNY: Er… yeah.
ELISE: *smiles* OH BOY!!! I’ve always wanted to watch Battle Highway live! All the crazy competitors, the awesome battles!
ROUGE: Little girl, we’re not here to enjoy some silly tournament! Just tell us who the champion is!
DANNY: I don’t know! I’ve never seen his face! And we don’t have cable.
ROUGE: Ugh! How many brick walls do we have to run into before we can get any answers!?
DANNY: Well…. you could always enter a Battle Highway Circuit. They’re always open, and you’re free to challenge the current champion at any time.
AMY: Really?
DANNY: Yeah. But you have to compete in a circuit and beat every other competitor. Probably the fastest way is to enter the Free-for-all tournament.

Out of the blue, Elise hugs Danny!

DANNY: Hey, what the-
ELISE: MMMM, Danny you’re the best!!!
DANNY: Get off of me!! Are you trying to get me killed!?
ROUGE: *sighs* So we have to waste even MORE time before we can even tackle GTC.
AMY: Well, it’ll be a nice distraction, right? No reason to be in a new world and not have any fun while we’re here, right?
ROUGE: I suppose.

*Sky Babylon*

Sonic and the others discuss the next few plans of action.

MIGHTY: A tournament!?
SONIC: Yeah. This champion has the info we need. And no one knows who it is. This is the only way to find out!
TAILS: Sonic, have you tried asking around first?
SILVER: Perhaps some of the citizenry knows who it is.
SONIC: Uhhhhhh…..
MIGHTY: You dick, you just wanna compete!
SONIC: Oh come on, Mighty! Doesn’t it sound fun!?
MARINE: Heck yes it does!
BLAZE: We don’t have time for this! Let the proper authorities handle this Golden Trading Company! We need to focus on the Marauders!
KNUCKLES: I agree. This plan is far too time consuming.
SONIC: The Marauders ambushed us looking for a “boy”. The one we found had info on that company. It’s gotta be related!
BLAZE: You didn’t even draw the proper connections! At the moment, it’s just a stretch!
ROUGE: Have an open mind, Blaze. It’s the only way to be a good detective!
BLAZE: It’s a waste of time, Rouge!

JET: One that I don’t mind wasting! I’m in!
SONIC: Hell yeah! That’s what I’m talking about!
BLAZE: You cannot be serious!
JET: I wanna know what these bastards are hiding! Arresting little kids to keep your secrets safe? They must have some REAL dirt to keep under the rugs!
MIGHTY: You? You think you’d last 2 seconds in a tournament?
JET: Better than sitting around wondering if I got what it takes! But hey, after all the times I’ve whipped you around, I can see where the lack in confidence comes from!
MIGHTY: *stands up* It was only one fight, you ass!
JET: And that’s all I needed to know that you ain’t worth the trouble!
MIGHTY: Grrrr! Fine! I’m in too! Anything to shut you up!
JET: You will try!
RAY: I want in too!
SILVER: It does sound interesting!
BLAZE: You too, Silver!?
SILVER: Well… yeah! If they’re in, then I will be as well!
BLAZE: Ugh!
KNUCKLES: Fine. If we’re going through with this, I might as well get involved. *raises fist* Best to keep my skills sharp so long as we’re here!
TAILS: Count me in!
KNUCKLES: You!? You don’t have the proper fitness level to compete! And I doubt your technological prowess will assist you against battle hardened warriors!
MARINE: I often compete and kick so much booty with just my trusty gun alone! So he may beat you up with those girly rings of his!
TAILS: “Girly” rings!?
AMY: Well if his machines can work for him, then my magic will too!
ROUGE: Hah! You wouldn’t last 2 seconds!
AMY: I don’t see you participating!
ROUGE: You don’t want me to! I’ll make you cry without a moments notice!
SONIC: So we’re all good! Cool! Danny said the fastest circuit was the Free-For-All one. And that one requires us to be in teams of 2.
MARINE: Sweet! I’ll call up my buddy from Mobius!
ALL: WHAT!?
SONIC: Uh… Marine? We don’t have a warp ring on Mobius anymore.
MARINE: Not like you guys can’t make a new one! Besides, this friend has ways of getting over here! Done! He’s been paged! We can meet him at Central Avenue!
SONIC: >_> ……….

Everyone looks at Marine oddly.

*Central Avenue*

Alright. Back in the hub. Considering that you tried fighting against Zavok, the checkpoints will let you roam freely as a form of gratitude. But only to Sonic. Any other character, and you’d have to go back to Cooper to get permits. Anywho, you can go anywhere except Ridgemond (ofcourse). You have a new side mission in Brocklon involving Danny and his mother moving out of the neighborhood (why not?), though you’d have to be Marine for that one to activate. The shops are carrying more Action Triggers for Marine, and some new costumes. Sonic for President, anyone?

Anywho, to continue on, head over to Battle Highway to meet with…. Espio the Chameleon!?

ELISE: Wow! Who’s he!? He looks so cool!
KNUCKLES: Espio!?
ESPIO: Huh? Oh, Knuckles! What happened to you!?
KNUCKLES: It is a long story, old friend! It’s great to see your face! But how did you get here!?
ESPIO: The Chaos Rings! It was the only way! If I had known you had been transported into another dimension…
SONIC: Wait…. Knuckles, you didn’t bother taking one of those with you!?
KNUCKLES: Well…. had I known we would be crossing into dimensions….
ESPIO: He’s very protective of all our relics.
ALL: OHHHHH!
ROUGE: Annoying Echidna!
TAILS: All this time, we could’ve gone home, and I could’ve seen Tikal again! Oops!
KNUCKLES: All the better that I DIDN’T bring them!!
SONIC: What about the rest of us!?
KNUCKLES: Oh stop whining, Sonic! None of us could’ve predicted that we would be flung between dimensions!
ESPIO: Though you could’ve prepared beforehand.
KNUCKLES: Don’t take their side!
MIGHTY: Ugh! Leave it to that stick up your ass that we get stuck here!
JET: Technically, we’re not stuck. The Island still works. We’re just… taking a vacation, that’s all!
ESPIO: ….I see. *sees Elise* And you’re watching over a human child?
ELISE: Oh… hi! I’m Elise!
ESPIO: Espio the Chameleon.
KNUCKLES: Say, Espio. You’ve come here to compete!?
ESPIO: Of course! I can’t leave my friend… “hanging”, as she would say!
MARINE: Sup, Espio!
ALL: NO WAY!!!
ESPIO: It’s been a while, Marine! Are you ready for another bout!?
MARINE: You got it! No one can stop us!
RAY: Except the Champions!
MARINE: Shut up!
KNUCKLES: Wait… you’re both on the same team!?
ESPIO: Yes. I mean… you never traveled to the Human World, and she’s quite talented! Though we’d be unstoppable, I have a previous engagement.
MARINE: He’s all mine! Nyah nyah!
KNUCKLES: Hmph! Perhaps if Sticks were here, we’d crush you both!
ROUGE: “Sticks!?” Who in the world calls themselves “Sticks”!?
SONIC: Right. Teams of 2!
BLAZE: Then we should probably decide now who we partner ourselves up with.
TAILS & AMY: I PICK SON-… OH!!!
TAILS: Hey! What do you think you’re doing!? I picked him first!
AMY: Oh don’t worry, Tails! We Hedgehogs have to stick together, you know!
TAILS: I knew him way before you did! if anyone should be his partner, it’s me!
AMY: Don’t be so greedy!
TAILS: Don’t be so thirsty!
TAILS & AMY: Hey Soni-… huh?

They see Sonic side by side with Mighty.

SONIC: We got this, right Mighty?
MIGHTY: Hell yeah!!

And they dap each other up! Tails and Amy fall over!

TAILS: AWW NUTS!
AMY: Defeated by the bromance. *stands up* Well, I do have a strong cousin with magi-

But she sees Silver with Blaze.

SILVER: I’d be honored to fight by your side, Blaze!
BLAZE: You make it sound so embarrassing. *smiles* But, I too would appreciate your… assistance.

AMY: Dammit!
TAILS: *sighs* I guess we should call a truce then?
AMY: Oh… fine. Wait, what do you mean “thirsty”!?
TAILS: Uhh….

KNUCKLES: Well, seeing as Espio teamed up with the insane one, who would I have as a partner?

He looks toward Jet.

JET: Don’t EVEN think about it!
KNUCKLES: I wouldn’t dream of it, you deviant Babylonian!
ROUGE: Ahem… you know, Knuckles, I can be a pretty good fighter when I need to be!
KNUCKLES: You seem strangely eager to fight alongside me! Is this an opportunity to steal my tablet!?
ROUGE: So paranoid! Maybe I need someone strong and talented by my side!
KNUCKLES: My thoughts exactly. You may not fill the mold.
ROUGE: *Agitated* Excuse me!?
KNUCKLES: You seem awfully fragile considering our last 2 bouts. And I have concerns that you might bite me in the face again.
ROUGE: Bite you in the…. O_O

Rouge grabs Knuckles and strangles him!

ROUGE: I TOLD YOU NOT TO BRING THAT UP!!!!

Everyone laughs.

ELISE: Did something happen between you 2?
KNUCKLES & ROUGE: NOTHING!!!!
SONIC: *chuckles* Ok, I think we’re all accounted for!
JET: Uh, no we’re not! Who’s my partner supposed to be!?
ALL: Ray!
JET: Huh!?

He looks down at Ray, who waves at him.

RAY: HI NEW BEST FRIEND!
JET: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I hate you all!
ELISE: So what are we waiting for!? It’s about to start!
SONIC: Slow down, Elise! We’ll get in there in due time!
ELISE: No you won’t, you’ll all stand around arguing, lets go already!

Elise drags Sonic into the stadium! And everyone follows.

*Battle Highway*

The crowd is cheering on as 2 Mobian Fighters face off in the arena in a 1v1 circuit!

In other areas, the Trio walk around a bit.

RAY: WOW! I didn’t think so many girls loved this kind of place! I’m in heaven!
MIGHTY: Just be sure they’re alive this time.
RAY: Jealous that my charms can reach beyond the realm of the living!?
MIGHTY: If the dead are all you can attract, you don’t have much in the way of a charm.
SONIC: Well, that’s one reason to not get our asses beat! I bet Vector would love this kind of attention!
MIGHTY: Man if Vector was here, we’d beat him senseless!

Sonic keeps walking, but fails to see a puddle of water in front of him… and thus, he slips!

SONIC: WHOA!

He falls into someone, knocking em down as he plummets to the ground.

SONIC: Oh…
RAY: Ahh those first steps! Always a loo loo!
MIGHTY: Great! You’re gonna beat up our potential fans too?
SONIC: Huh? Oh.. sorry about that-

The girl he knocked over was none other than “Sally”.

SALLY: Hey, watch it! You can hurt someone doing that!
SONIC: *whispers* Ooh! *aloud* Sorry about that! I actually tripped. But who knows? I could’ve been falling for you!
SALLY: >_> …. Right. I need to go.

Sally then leaves.

MIGHTY: Wow. That was a weak ass pick up line!
RAY: Even I couldn’t screw up that badly!
MIGHTY: Least you admit it.
SONIC: I was just trying to save face, that’s all!
MIGHTY: Suuuuure you were!

ANNOUNCER: ALL CONTESTANTS OF THE FREE-FOR-ALL CIRCUIT, PLEASE REPORT TO THE HOLORENA IN THE NEXT 3 MINUTES!

MIGHTY: Alright! Bout time!
RAY: Off we go to beat ass and take names!
SONIC: Yep!

Mighty and Ray walk off while Sonic looks around for her.

SONIC: (She waaaas nice, though….)

Sonic then heads for the aforementioned “Holorena”

In the stadium, Elise finds Danny and Cooper walking in.

ELISE: HEY! DANNY! OVER HERE!!!
DANNY: What!?

She runs toward them!

COOPER: Friend of yours, Danny?
DANNY: I don’t know her, I swear!
ELISE: Well of course not! We’ve only met this morning! I found some good seats over here! Come on!
DANNY: Uh, actually I was-

Elise then grabs Danny and drags him to those good seats!

DANNY: NO, STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
COOPER: Oh dear.

Along the way, they found that Robotnik had already found a good seat!

ELISE: ^_^ Hi Dr. Robotnik!!
ROBOTNIK: …Good lord, they dragged you out of hiding!? Who is this!?
DANNY: We’re not together! I swear!!
ROBOTNIK: And I’m not from the UF, so stop shouting!!
DANNY: Oh…. so we’re cool?
ROBOTNIK: Sure. So long as you realize that I despise children altogether!
ELISE: Oh don’t mind him! He’s grumpy! Come on!
ROBOTNIK: *groans*
ELISE: I can’t wait! I’ve always wanted to watch this in person! And now Sonic and the rest are in it!? This is so cool!
DANNY: Wait… you actually watch this?
ELISE: Yeah! Why wouldn’t I?
DANNY: ….Huh.
ELISE: Wait, why are you watching this? I’d think you wouldn’t like this kind of stuff!
ROBOTNIK: On the contrary! I relish the opportunity to see those nitwits pummeled into the ground! Either by each other or outside forces!
ELISE: Just you wait! Sonic’s gonna beat all of them! And that champion!
DANNY: I don’t know. That red guy with the large hands looks tough.
ELISE: That’s Knuckles! And maybe he’s tough! But he’s got nothing on Blaze!
ROBOTNIK: I’m betting on Miles.
ELISE: Huh? Who’s that?
ROBOTNIK: You may know him as “Tails”, but Miles is his real name. I’ve got a pretty good feeling that he’ll destroy the competition. *evil chuckle*
DANNY: >_>

Before the match starts, a large, holographic image of a Mobian Lynx named “Nicole” appears, spinning around as she takes form.

NICOLE: HELLOOOOO EMPIRE CITY!! I am your special announcer, Nicole the Holo-Lynx!
RAY: Is it wrong to be attracted to something so fake?
AMY: It didn’t stop you from fawning over Rouge’s chest!

And Rouge slaps Amy upside her head.

NICOLE: And welcome to another exciting edition of Battle Highway! The UF’s most intense Mobian competition on Earth! This next event is the Team Battle Free-For-All! Multiple teams of 2 enter the arena and duke it out all at once in furious frenzy to be the top competitors! Those who win will give one of their mates the opportunity to challenge the current Champion of Battle Highway! The rules are simple! Combatants are defeated by ring out! And the last team or team member standing wins! While inside our specially designed “Holorena”, all Mobian powers will be contained so as to not destroy the stadium! Any and all weapons are allowed so long as they are not lethal! Meaning no sharp items! For those who have nothing but their own physical prowess and would thus deal with those that DO have powers, we have our own specially designed Power Ups! Theeeeeeeeeee Wisps!

Inside the Holorena, those fuckers float around the place with no care in the world.

MIGHTY: You mean we have to use these little things just to beat anyone up!? They look so stupid!
SONIC: Sucks for you, Mighty!
MIGHTY: Shut up!
NICOLE: The wisps provide special abilities to anyone who can grab them! Imagine the powers of fire or stone that would allow you to cause havoc in the Holorena!
BLAZE: Fire!? Hmph!
JET: No way am I gonna be caught dead using those things!
NICOLE: Alright teams! Assemble in your blocks!

Everyone does so.

NICOLE: Introducing our contestants! Sonic and Mighty of “Team Dillo”!
SONIC: What the!?
MIGHTY: Didn’t get the memo? We gotta write our names on the board! And I damn sure wasn’t about to be on no “Team Sonic”!
SONIC: Thanks for telling me, jerk!

NICOLE: Next up! Tails and Amy in “Team Magic”!
TAILS: Magic!? Why not “Tech Support”!?
AMY: I’m not a scientist! And those liquid rings you use could be magical!
TAILS: Oh brother!

NICOLE: Ray and Jet on “Team Riders”!
RAY: What do we ride, exactly?
JET: Yo mama.
RAY: Hah! Jokes on you! I’m an orphan!
JET: ……. Forget it.

NICOLE: Knuckles and Rouge of “Team Hunters”!
KNUCKLES: An interesting name.
ROUGE: Being a treasure hunter, it seemed the most appropriate!
KNUCKLES: But you’re a common thief.
ROUGE: Watch it, Knuckles!

NICOLE: Espio and Marine, returning members of “Team Ninja”!
ESPIO: Good to be back!
MARINE: Lets squad up and ride em!

NICOLE: Antoine De Coolette and Rotor of “Team Freedom”!
ANTOINE: *french accent* This competition is lacking in grace and skill! We will take the crown this night!
ROTOR: That’s what you said last time, but you kept running away from the competition!
ANTOINE: THAT… was a tactical miscalculation! This time will be different!

NICOLE: And finally, Silver and Blaze of “Team Sol”!
BLAZE: Sol?
SILVER: Something to remember our original home!
BLAZE: ….. *smiles* Mmm. It’s a good name!

NICOLE: Fighters ready!?

Everyone gets into a particular fighting stance.

NICOLE: LET THE MATCH BEGIN!!!!

And the bell sounds off!

Now, here, you play exclusively as Sonic and Mighty, and you have about a dozen jack offs to contend with. The goal is to, of course, knock them out of the ring! As everyone is fighting against each other, it’s best to target the ones that are distracted and aren’t targeting you, just to make things easier. The ones who will always target you are Knuckles and Tails, though everyone else will randomly pick and choose if they want to fuck with you. The wisps can only be used by Mighty, however, seeing as his default Action Trigger (Axes) are disabled for the match.

Now narrative wise, here’s my preferred sequence of events. Everyone starts off randomly picking and choosing targets, with Sonic and Tails feeling the most disorientated having to fight against people who casually blindside each other, namely Espio and Marine.

SONIC: Damn! This is tougher than I thought! How you holdin up, Mighty!?
MIGHTY: Oh swell! We did only just start the ma-

Espio then swoops in and knocks Mighty into a wall!

SONIC: Hey!
ESPIO: If you are not focused, you will lose!!!
SONIC: *turns back* Huh?!

Marine fires her gun, trying to “zap” Sonic, but… he’s too fast! And…. then he gets blind sided by Jet who kicks him into the dirt!

JET: Hah! The dirt suits you, Sonic!
SONIC: JACKASS!!!!

Team Magic fights against Team Hunter!

ROUGE: I couldn’t wait to wipe that silly grin off your face!
AMY: Ditto!

Amy and Rouge take to the skies while Knuckles goes after Tails who merely avoids everything Knuckles throws at him!

KNUCKLES: What’s wrong!? Afraid to face a real warrior!?
TAILS: What’s your deal, Knuckles!? Are you mad that me and Tikal snuck out that one time together!?
KNUCKLES: O_O …. You did….. WHAT…. with Tikal!?
TAILS: …..Smooth, Tails.

Knuckles continues going after Tails, but is then hit by a Psycho bullet!

SILVER: Gotcha!
TAILS: Oh, thanks Silver!
SILVER: What for!? Aren’t we competing against each other?
TAILS: Yeah?

And Silver attacks Tails.

Ray goes after Marine, but gets smashed into the ground by Rotor!

RAY: GAAAAAAAAAH!!! JET, HELP!!!
JET: Damn, you’re useless!

Jet heads back to relieve Ray, but Espio “blinks” right in front of him with incredible speed!!

ESPIO: HRAAGH!
JET: AWW HELL!!!!

And Espio knocks Jet away, before he himself is blasted away by a Blaze’s fireball!

NICOLE: It’s total chaos on the Highway! Everyone is giving their all! But it seems like Team Riders is slacking!
JET: Great! The fake hot chick thinks we’re losing! You gonna take that, Ray!?
RAY: NEVAAAAAAAAAAR!!!

Ray blasts Rotor off of him, and shoots him out of the ring! The crowd goes wild!

JET: YES!!!
ROTOR: ERGH!!
NICOLE: And Rotor is out!!!
RAY: The most beautiful mirage in this world is watching, and she will bare witness to my awesomeness!!!!
MARINE: Hallucinations again?
RAY: BITE ME!!!
NICOLE: Oh wow! I have a secret admirer in the fray!!

And the audience laughs.

JET: *smiles* Leave it to some fake ass to get him motivated!

Sonic and Mighty face off against Antoine!

ANTOINE: You 2 unrefined miscreants are nothing compared to my battle prowess!

Antoine grabs a Cyan Wisp

VOICE: LASER!!!

And with it, he forms a lightsaber!

ANTOINE: HAVE AT YOU!!!

Antoine then goes after Sonic… but he’s too fast. He then slaps away the saber with ease and gets in his face!

ANTOINE: I SURRENDER!!!
MIGHTY: Good!

And Mighty tackles Antoine out of the ring!

NICOLE: Antoine is eliminated! Team Freedom is out of the match!!
ANTOINE: NO!! Victory was within my grasp!!
ROTOR: We weren’t even close to winning anyway, Ant.
SONIC: That guy was ice-skating up hill, huh?
MIGHTY: Yeah!

Blaze then appears and tosses out fireballs at the 2!

SONIC: Look out!
MIGHTY: Blaze, what are you doing!?
BLAZE: You agreed to be in this fight! So act like it, Mighty!
SONIC: Yeah, don’t go soft now just cause she’s your crush!
MIGHTY: Piss off, Sonic!!!

Sonic leaps up to deal with Blaze!

MIGHTY: Hey, wait!

Back in the audience…

ELISE: Sonic and Blaze are fighting!? This is great!!!!
ROBOTNIK: Calm yourself, child! I see no reason to anticipate a battle between these 2!
DANNY: How good is Blaze?
ELISE: She can use pyrokinesis, and she fights like a ballerina!
ROBOTNIK: I’m underwhelmed by the mediocrity.
ELISE: She’s tough! That’s all you need to know!
ROBOTNIK: Hmph! If my Omega Armor still functioned, I’d show you how wrong you are!

Back in the fight, Might spots a Red Wisp and grabs it.

VOICE: BURST!!!

Seeing Silver closing in on him, he tosses a firebolt into the air…. but is then frozen in place BY Silver!

MIGHTY: Hey, what the-
SILVER: IT’S NO USE!!!
MIGHTY: Silver!? What the hell, I thought you could only affect inanimate objects!
SILVER: Maybe so, but your gloves and your shoes count! Your clothing gives me an advantage!
MIGHTY: Too bad you didn’t look up, first!
SILVER: What!?

That same firebolt lands on Silver’s head, breaking his concentration and hold on Mighty!

MIGHTY: IT’S YOUR ASS, SILVER!!!

Mighty tackles him, shell first, and then somersaults him into the air!

MIGHTY: THIS IS FOR STEALING MY GIRL!!!

As they both land, Mighty punches the ground, unleashing a fiery geyser (Or… you know…. POWAH GEYSAAAAAA!) that blows Silver out of the ring!!!

SILVER: NOOOOOOO! *crash*
NICOLE: Silver has been eliminated!!! Smart thinking with the Burst Wisp, Mighty!
BLAZE: SILVER!!!
SILVER: Ergh…. no!
SONIC: Oh, so sorry! Now it’s only-

But then, Blaze gets blasted away by Marine!

MARINE: BOOM! HAHAHAHAHA! *Runs*
SONIC: …………>_>
MIGHTY: Don’t worry about it!
SONIC: I’m not! By the way, “your girl”?
MIGHTY: SHUT IT!!!

Then, Espio appears and kicks Sonic into a tree!

SONIC: OOF!
MIGHTY: Oh… dammit!

Jet’s team goes in to ambush Knuckles and Amy’s groups.

JET: Ok, they’re distracted! GET IN THERE!
RAY: ROGER THAT!!!

Amy fights furiously with Rouge.

ROUGE: Aww, you poor thing! You think flailing around your little drumsticks is going to hurt me!
AMY: Who’s trying to hit you!?
ROUGE: Oh?

Amy had been manipulating the air around Rouge…. and reduces the temperature to freeze her in place!

ROUGE: HEY!!!
AMY: Aww, you poor thing! You wore less to impress the guys, and now you’ll catch a cold!

Rouge does her Sonic Scream/Black Wave and blows Amy out of the ring!

AMY: *screams*!
NICOLE: That’s a wrap! Amy is eliminated!
TAILS: Oh no!!!
KNUCKLES: You’ve been isolated! Now-

And Jet kicks Knuckles into Rouge!

JET: HAH! Stupid Echidna!
KNUCKLES: You vile chicken!

Knuckles goes after Jet while Tails retreats. Rouge slowly gets to her knees as Ray appears.

RAY: Alrighty then, who wants it next!?

And then… Rouge puts on an act of being helpless, and give Ray the baby eyes.

ROUGE: *soft voice* But… Ray! What did I ever do to deserve your wrath?
RAY: O_O Nothing, my delectable honey bun! You are an essence of perfection that I dare not raise my hand at!
ROUGE: Then… help me! I would gladly have you for dinner if you did!
RAY: Bon appetite, my sweet! I am basted and ready to serve!!!

*Boom*

Marine had tossed a grenade at the 2, blowing them away from each other!

NICOLE: Ohhhh, and that romance burned out in no time!
MARINE: This ain’t the love connection, morons!

ROBOTNIK: I am curious as to why they are participating in this brutal exercise.
DANNY: It because the Champion has information on the Golden Trading Company.
ROBOTNIK: And…. what exactly do you know about them?
DANNY: …They’re making drugs and selling them in our neighborhood. And they killed my friend. And… put me in jail.
ROBOTNIK: Hmph! The Federation is a terrifying country if a child can be punished the same way an adult can!

Back in the fight, Sonic and Mighty are running around without a clue!

SONIC: We gotta take out Espio and Marine! They’re kicking all the ass in this place!
MIGHTY: He’s too fast! I can’t… hey!

Mighty sees a Cyan wisp!

MIGHTY: Cover me! I’m going for it!
SONIC: Gotcha!

Mighty jumps a few bridges to get to the wisp!

RAY: OH NO YOU DON’T!!!

Ray and Tails appear out of nowhere and fire on Mighty!

MIGHTY: CRAAAAP!!!
SONIC: Ergh!

Sonic then gives Mighty a boost of kinetic energy, allowing him to speed up to the wisp!

TAILS: What the!?
VOICE: LASER!!!!
MIGHTY: HAH!
SONIC: GET EM!!!

Mighty then zips around the arena, tackling Ray and Tails as he bounces and rebounds all over the place, interrupting everyone else’s battles!

MIGHTY: SOMEBODY STOP THIS DAMN THING!!!!
SONIC: >_>

Sonic catches sight of Espio and chases him!

ESPIO: Hmm..

Espio stops running and engages with Sonic!

SONIC: Not this time, Espio!
ESPIO: HYAAAH!

They both do kung fu shit for a hot moment.

NICOLE: WOW! Sonic and Espio are going at it!
ELISE: COME ON, SONIC! SMACK HIM!!!
ROBOTNIK: *groans*

Mighty finally stops moving!

MIGHTY: Whew! That’s good!

But then Knuckles appears out of nowhere and punches his face, gut checks him, and then tosses him into a pile of debris! And then Jet rushes in for a blindside, but Knuckles hears this and back hands Jet into the ground!

JET: GACK!!
KNUCKLES: Now face Heaven’s Justice!!!

Knuckles’s dread glow as he summons lightning through the arena! Mighty sees this and immediately makes a break for it!

MIGHTY: (bleep), (bleep), (bleep)!!
NICOLE: Sparks fly as Knuckles unleashes a barrage of thunder onto the field of battle!

Sonic continues fighting Espio while Marine hides behind some rocks, and prepares to snipe Sonic from behind!

MARINE: Gotcha now!!!

However, Knuckles’s lightning struck Marine’s position, frying her!

MARINE: ……*coughs*

Ray takes advantage and fires a solar beam that blows her out of the ring!

NICOLE: Uh oh! A usually cautious Marine has been eliminated, thanks to a surprise attack by my very own secret admirer!
ESPIO: Marine!?
MARINE: Well, it was nice knowing yah!

Distracted, Sonic tries to take advantage and kick Espio in the head! But sensing this, Espio catches Sonic’s leg, and tosses him to the ground!

SONIC: UGH!!
ESPIO: HRAAAAAAAAAGH!

Espio one leg up, he planned to finish Sonic there, but Mighty appears, Red Wisp equipped, and rams Espio with enough force to knock him out of the ring!

NICOLE: And he’s out! The majestic Ninja Espio has been eliminated! Team Ninja is down!!

Rouge and Blaze engage in a duel with each other, with Rouge somersaulting Blaze into the air, and then SCREAMING her to the ground! Or… Black Canary’s super from that god awful Injustice 2 minus that final punch.

On the ground, Blaze jumps off and tosses fireballs at Rouge with unrelenting force!

ELISE: YOU CAN DO IT, BLAZE!
DANNY: You’re rooting for too many people! How do you keep up with everything going on!?
ELISE: I’ve watched Battle Highway everyday growing up! You get used to it!
ROBOTNIK: Well, if you live long, Apotos won’t be a boring place.
DANNY: What do you mean by that?
ROBOTNIK: I figured you were already aware that she’s the Princess.
DANNY: SHE’S WHAT!?
ELISE: Shhhh! I don’t want anyone else that!
ROBOTNIK: You’d at least have more protection on hand!
ELISE: But then I wouldn’t be allowed in here!
ROBOTNIK: You’d watch a silly competition even at the cost of your own life!?
ELISE: Better to live a little than to survive!
DANNY: You need to get your priorities straight before taking the throne!

Blaze continues battling Rouge.

BLAZE: I don’t think highly of you, Rouge! You come off no better than a vile temptress with delusions of grandeur!
ROUGE: You think you’re the first lady to be jealous of me?
BLAZE: Jealous of what!? A woman fit for nothing more than a brothel!?
ROUGE: Oooh! That almost stung! Pretty sharp tongue for someone so stuck up!!

They both start swinging on each other! Blaze claws at Rouge’s face while she retaliates with several kicks.

NICOLE: Now that’s a cat fight I wouldn’t wanna be caught in! Rouge and Blaze are tearing up the field!

And then, Blaze tosses a small ember Rouge’s way, and she swats it aside.

ROUGE: ….Oh no!
BLAZE: Too late to realize your mistake!

The gravity around Rouge increases dramatically, forcing her to the ground!

ROUGE: *strained grunts*
BLAZE: How’s that!? Someone of your character deserves to be in the dirt!

And then, Ray blasts Blaze out of the field with a Solar Beam!

BLAZE: ARRRRRGH!!!
NICOLE: Blaze has been eliminated! Team Sol is out!!
SILVER: Blaze, are you ok!?
BLAZE: I’m… fine. It’s just my pride.
ELISE: Awww! How did she get beaten by the dumb one!?
ROUGE: Why Ray! I’m so flattered!
RAY: No problem, Ro-

And Tails blasts Ray out of the air with his arm cannons!

RAY: YAAAA!!!
TAILS: I gotta keep up the ambushes! Else I’m gonna lose!
AMY: Come on, Tails! You’re taking too long!!
TAILS: I’m not trying to go out like you!
AMY: What!? Ooooh! You’ve been hanging around Sonic too long!

Knuckles punches the ground, and sends a shockwave toward Jet, knocking him out of the ring!

NICOLE: Jet the Hawk has been eliminated!
JET: Ugh! *bangs ground* DAMMIT!! I can’t lose to Knuckles!
KNUCKLES: You just did! Silly Bird!

DANNY: Wow! Knuckles is pretty awesome! I think he’s gonna win!
ELISE: No way! He’s not getting passed Sonic!
DANNY: Yes he will! Can Sonic punch out shockwaves!?
ELISE: Can Knuckles run fast!?
DANNY: Can Sonic summon lightning!?
ROBOTNIK: *groans* Damn kids!

Sonic and Mighty race toward to remaining contestants!

SONIC: Only team hunter has all their guys in! We’ve got the upper hand!

Ray and Tails engage in shooting battles with each other!

TAILS: Grrrr! He’s already eliminated 2 people with that attack!
RAY: Don’t worry, Tails! All I wanna do is blast you out of the ring! And WIN FOR ALL THE BEAUTIES OF THE WORLD!!!
TAILS: UGH!! I can’t lose to this pervert!!!

Tails summons his arm cannons as Ray powers up!

RAY: TIME FOR MY SUPER, ULTRA, SEXY, POWERED UP SOLAR CANNON! YAH READY, TAILS!? YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Ray unleashes his aforementioned Solar Cannon upon Tails!

TAILS: Only got one shot!
AMY: TAILS! GET OUT OF THE WAY!!

He then “conjoins” his arm cannons together!

TAILS: POWER LASER! ACTIVATE!!! HRAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

And Tails unleashes his own big ass beam! You know… that shit he had in SA2 where he shot this big ass beam out of his Cyclone Mech? Yeah, that’s what this is!

SONIC & MIGHTY: WHOA!!!
AMY: Oh my god!!
ROBOTNIK: *smiles* YES!!

Both the Cannon and Laser collide, sending shockwaves through the arena!

AUDIENCE: *screams in terror!*
NICOLE: This is intense! Both Ray and Tails are locked into a tug of war using their powerful monster beams!
RAY: Oh crap, oh crap, OH CRAP!!!
TAILS: I’M NOT LOSING TO YOU, RAY!!!!!

It turns out, Tails’s Power Laser was… more “powerful”, and it pushes Ray’s Solar Cannon out of the way and blasts Ray out of the arena!!!

RAY: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
NICOLE: Oh no!!! The one guy that had the hots for me has been eliminated!
TAILS: YEAH!! I DID IT!!!
AMY: GREAT JOB, TAILS!!!

Robotnik then stands up and raises his fist!

ROBOTNIK: HAHAHAHAHAHAH! THIS IS GLORIOUS!!!! Had you not been a Mobian, you would have been a worthy successor to my legacy!!! It would have been a wonder if you lost to someone as idiotic as Ray!
ELISE: >_> Uh, weren’t you just complaining about us being excited?
ROBOTNIK: Hush, child! I’m allowed to have my moments too!
DANNY: Senior moments, maybe.
ROBOTNIK: What was that!?
DANNY: Nothing!

SONIC: Whoa! Tails beat Ray’s attack!?
MIGHTY: Well good! Tired of people thinking he’s are most powerful player!

Tails then takes aim at Rouge!

TAILS: Now for you!
ROUGE: Is cute little Tails gunning for me, now?

Tails rushes at Rouge…. but then she grabs his arms and kisses him on the cheek!

TAILS: GLACK!!!

And then she tosses him out of the ring!

NICOLE: Oooh! Looks like Tails got the kiss of defeat!! Team Magic is down!
AMY: Oh! Tails!!!
RAY: She gives lip service to everyone but me!!
ROBOTNIK: DAMNED HORMONES! YOU STUPID BOY!!! SHE WAS THE ENEMY!!! WHY GO IN FOR CLOSE RANGE WHEN YOU HAVE ACCESS TO LONG RANGED WEAPONRY!?
ELISE: Calm down, Robotnik!
DANNY: You talk about us, but it’s just a game show!
ROBOTNIK: Silence! Both of you!

Rouge then takes aim at Sonic!

ROUGE: I’ll make sure you pay for those snide remarks from earlier!

Sonic and Rouge make a mad dash toward each other! However…. Mighty jumps out of nowhere, Red Wisp in hand!

SONIC: Mighty!?
ROUGE: What the…
MIGHTY: POWAH GEYSAAAAAAAAH!!

And he does exactly what he says! He punches the ground, unleashing a geyser of burning fire and blows Rouge out of the ring!

ROUGE: ARRRRRRRRRRGH!
NICOLE: And the femme fatale is eliminated! Team Dillo is in the lead!

Rouge stands up on the aside, looking burnt.

AMY: Welcome to the dirt with the rest of us, Rouge!
ROUGE: Ugh! Annoying Armadillo! He almost burned off my suit!

Then all the guys look in her direction. Blaze bops Silver on the head to keep him from looking!

SILVER: Uh… I wasn’t… thinking impure thoughts! Honest!

SONIC: Nice one, Mighty! Now all-
KNUCKLES: RED ROCK!!!!

Knuckles tosses a projectile at Mighty, blasting him out of the ring!

MIGHTY: AAGH!
SONIC: MIGHTY!!!
NICOLE: Oh, and just when he scored a victory, Mighty is eliminated!!! Only 2 combatants remain, and on opposing teams! Sonic and Knuckles of Team Dillo and Team Hunter!

Sonic and Knuckles then look at each other!

SONIC: Pff! Figures you’d be the last one left!
KNUCKLES: To be quite honest, I was looking forward to a rematch!!
SONIC: You know? I was too!

And they both charge at each other!

*BANG!*

Sonic and Knuckles Clash, sending even stronger shockwaves through the stadium!

NICOLE: Amazing! These 2 are so strong, even the Holorena suppression system is having trouble containing their might!

ELISE: COME ON, SONIC!!
DANNY: YOU GOT THIS ONE, KNUCKLES!!!
ROBOTNIK: And we’re back to this.
DANNY: You’re just mad that Tails lost!
ELISE: Yep!
ROBOTNIK: I… hate… kids!

Sonic and Knuckles come to blows, with Knuckles scoring most of the hits. But Sonic manages to catch one of his arms, and kicks Knuckles in several places before pushing him back, jumping and then spin kicking Knuckles in his face!

TAILS: Yeah, get him, Sonic!
AMY: You can do it Sonic!
MIGHTY: You better not lose this one!
ESPIO: Show him a warrior’s mettle, Knuckles!
MARINE: Kick his blue ass!
RAY: Beat him up! He stole my future wife!!
JET: I don’t like either of them, but I’m with Sonic! Screw that Echidna!
BLAZE: Sonic must win!
SILVER: Go Knuckles!
BLAZE: What!?
AMY: Why would you root for him!?
SILVER: Well… it doesn’t seem so fair, everyone’s rooting against them. You know?

And Rouge wraps her arm around Silver’s neck.

ROUGE: That’s the spirit, Silver!
BLAZE: UNHAND HIM THIS INSTANT!

Back to the fight, Sonic runs around Knuckles in a blinding dash.

KNUCKLES: Mmm Hmm.

But he casually walks to the edge of the running and PUNCHES Sonic out of it!

KNUCKLES: THUNDER ARROW!!!

He summons lightning throughout the arena, but Sonic dodges every strike, and then moves in to “spin attack” Knuckles into a wall! But then…. Knuckles curls into his own spin attack, and tackles Sonic in retaliation!

MIGHTY: What the… HE STOLE OUR MOVES! HE STOLE OUR FRIGGIN MOVES!!!

Sonic then summons his kinetic sabers and slashes at Knuckles vigorously, not hitting anything of worth until Knuckles dives under ground, and causes an earthquake!

SONIC: Whoa! Oh!!!

Sonic loses his balance, and Knuckles quickly pops out of the ground to bash him across the field!!

SONIC: CRAAAAP!!!

Sonic manages to catch the edge of the field before being flung out! Regaining his balance, he goes after Knuckles again, only for the wild Echidna to punch the ground again, sending large chunks of the arena into the air, with Sonic flying on one of them!

SONIC: WHOA!!!

Knuckles leaps upon each chunk until he gets to the one that Sonic was on!

SONIC: HAH!
KNUCKLES: Wha!?

Sonic then kicks Knuckles back to the ground, and dives after him while surrounded by kinetic energy! He drops down in ball form and crushes Knuckles into the dirt below!!

They both get back up and spin dash against each other, with Knuckles getting knocked out of his spin. Then they both stand firm!

SONIC: BLUE STAR!!!!
KNUCKLES: RED ROCK!!!!

Tossing their projectiles at each other, they explode on impact!

Taking advantage of the explosion, Sonic comes out with his Kinetic Sabers once more, dashes through the smoke, and slashes Knuckles into another wall!

NICOLE: It seems like Sonic has the upper hand in this battle!
ROUGE: COME ON, KNUCKLES!!! PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT!!
KNUCKLES: *Coughs* I will when you get off of it!

Knuckles puts his fists together, and conjures a violent wind around himself. As soon as Sonic charges at him, Knuckles blows him away with seemingly nothing!!

SONIC: What the…
KNUCKLES: You aren’t the only one who’s training!

Knuckles glides after Sonic, throwing out invisible projectiles of compressed air!

And then he tackles Sonic, which combine with that Air Shield, blows Sonic away a fair distance! Still, he manages to stay in the ring!

SONIC: Damn! The hell is that thing!?
KNUCKLES: It is my “Air Force”! Though it is unwise to explain one’s power to the opponent! The key to victory is being able to conceal one’s true power!
SONIC: Gee, I never knew! Guess I won’t be winning this match!
KNUCKLES: No! You won’t!

Knuckles glides at Sonic again, and Sonic spins in place (Light Speed Charge)

As Knuckles reaches him…. he goes for a punch….. but… he finds that Sonic had caught his fist!

KNUCKLES: WHAT!? How can you resist this barrier!?
SONIC: You know what? I don’t think I’m gonna tell yah!

Sonic breaks Knuckles’s Air Barrier, and with a surge of Kinetic Energy, BLASTS Knuckles out of the ring!!

KNUCKLES: GRAAAAAAH!!

ROUGE: OH NOOOOOO!!
NICOLE: Knuckles is finally down! Team Hunter has been eliminated! The victor of Battle Highway Free-For-All is Sonic the Hedgehog of Team Dillo!!

And the crowd goes wild!

SONIC: YEAH!!! ALRIGHT!!!

ELISE: YES!! Told you he’d win!
DANNY: Awww! He was so close!
ROBOTNIK: That little bastard seems to have the best luck, doesn’t he!?

Rouge walks over to Knuckles who’s just getting off the ground.

ROUGE: How could you lose, Knuckles!? You had the upper hand!
KNUCKLES: Well perhaps if you weren’t so busy kissing little boys and focused on the bout, we would’ve had a an even greater advantage!
ROUGE: Maybe YOU should’ve kept a closer eye on your partner! You kept your distance the whole match!
KNUCKLES: You expect me to coddle you the entire match!? Is it not true that you get offended that I even offer aid to you!?
ROUGE: That was a different time, Knuckles!
SONIC: *whistles* You guys really are like a married couple!
KNUCKLES & ROUGE: You stay out of this!

MIGHTY: Thanks for not losing, Sonic!
SONIC: Did you really think I would, Mighty?

Away from the arena, Sonic gets surrounded by new fans who beg for his autograph.

SONIC: Ooook! I haven’t had this many fans since… ever! The old Freedom Fighters band never got this much attention!
MINA MONGOOSE: Can I have your babies!?
SONIC: >_> Eww…

After all that time spent, Sonic finds Sally off in the distance, and goes up to her.

SONIC: Hey there! I think we met earlier!
SALLY: >_>
SONIC: Maybe we could start over! The name’s Sonic! you know, the guy who’s popularity is growing?
SALLY: …Sure.
SONIC: What’s with the cold shoulder?
SALLY: ……..
SONIC: Is this that whole “hard to get” act? Not that I was looking for a taste or anything.

And then she glares at Sonic.

SONIC: *hunches shoulders* Well that’s the impression I got!

And she walks away.

SONIC: Tch! Fine! I’m sure one of my fans is looking forward to a date with-

As he turns around, he finds Amy right behind him!

SONIC: OoO WHOA!!! Damn girl, you scared me!
AMY: Who was that?
SONIC: Oh… her? Just a …quiet fan.
AMY: Really? Is that all she was, or was she some sort of actress for a play, and you 2 were acting out a scene?
SONIC: Ok, what’s wrong, Amy!? I can’t talk to anyone!? You never had this kind of reaction before!
AMY: The talking isn’t the problem. It’s that horrid flirting you were doing!
SONIC: Oooooook, and since when were we dating each other for that to be a problem?

Amy gets pissed and sets fire to trash can on her way out!

SONIC: Hey! *puts fire out* Amy!? AMY!!!

He rushes out of the area looking for her, only to find Blaze and Silver.

SONIC: Hey guys! You seen Amy around?
BLAZE: No?
SILVER: You just missed her. She seemed really mad!
SONIC: Aww man, what’s up with her!?
SILVER: Was it something you said?
SONIC: ….Maybe?
BLAZE: Well whatever the case, it is not important. Do not forget why we are here, Sonic! The Champion has the information we need! Whoever it is likely will not give it up without a sure victory!
SONIC: Yeah yeah, I got it. He can’t be any worse than you guys were! Course, we don’t know anything about em.
SILVER: Well a Champion would imply being incredibly strong.

NICOLE: SONIC THE HEDGEHOG! PLEASE REPORT TO THE HOLORENA! YOUR MATCH WITH THE CHAMPION AWAITS!
SONIC: Well, wish me luck, guys!
BLAZE: You will need it.

*Holorena*

ROBOTNIK: Well it’s about time this blasted match got underway!
ELISE: We finally get to know who the Champion is!
DANNY: Yeah! Should be real tough if Elias trusted him! or Her!
ROBOTNIK: Elias, huh?

The rest of the crew were in the audience.

MIGHTY: So why can’t I participate in this fight?
RAY: Because you lost! Duh!
MARINE: Because it’s a one on one match with the champ! It’s not a fair fight otherwise!
KNUCKLES: Makes sense.
AMY: Hmph! I hope whoever this champion is beats his brains out!
MIGHTY: Wait, what!? I thought you were his #1 fan the way you kept cheering him on!
TAILS: And tried to be his partner!
AMY: Hmph! Why should I care now!? It’s not like we’re dating or anything!

Everyone looks confused

JET: I guess being related to Mephilis gives you a crazy gene or something.

NICOLE: Ladies and gentlemen the next bout is about to begin! Our newest challenger, Sonic the Hedgehog!

Sonic jumps into the Holorena and waves at the audience!

SONIC: Well, at least I have SOME fans, huh!?
MIGHTY: Show off!
ROBOTNIK: I hate that Hedgehog.

NICOLE: And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for! Battle Highway’s current Champion! Originally hailing from Spagonia, she has come to the Federation to show why she’s known as the “Princess of Power”!
SONIC: “She”!?
ELISE: The Champion’s a girl!?
ROBOTNIK: Changing loyalties now?
ELISE: Er… no! But… that is pretty cool!
ROBOTNIK: So that’s a yes. Figures.
NICOLE: Everyone, give a warm round of applause for the reigning champion…. SALLY ACORN!!!

And indeed, Sally enters the ring, sporting 2 strange gauntlets.

SONIC: O_O Oh (bleep)!
MIGHTY & RAY: OH (bleep)!
ROBOTNIK: ACORN!? IMPOSSIBLE!! Those little brats are here!?
DANNY: Acorn!? That’s Elias’s sister!?
ELISE: Who!? What!?
SILVER: You 2 know her!?
MIGHTY: That’s the chick Sonic bumped into earlier!
MARINE: PLOT TWIST!!!
AMY: Oh! This might actually be good, then!
RAY: You’re weird!

SONIC: Hehe, I don’t suppose it’s too late for an apolo-
SALLY: It is.

Sally then forms 2 arm sabers from her gauntlets.

SONIC: …..Hell!

And Sonic forms his Kinetic Sabers.

NICOLE: Fighters, are you ready!? Get set! Aaaaaaand FIGHT!!!

Ok, so back to actual gameplay. Sally tends to fight defensively. Just attacking her outright will have her block and counter you 90% of the time. When wisps start showing up, she drops her defenses and rushes for them. This would be the best time to attack! If he gets a wisp, she uses them immediately, and in a multitude of ways. The fight is more simplistic than it sounds as it becomes a matter of waiting for the cheap bitch to start running after wisps, and then hitting her as she breaks focus.

After the fight, it looks as though Sonic might win the fight, having more speed than Sally does. However, Sally kept a Red Wisp on hand.

SALLY: *smiles* Hmph!
VOICE: BURST!
SONIC: Huh!?

Sally drives her arm sabers into the ground, unleashing her own geyser onto Sonic!

SONIC: GRAAAAAAAAH!

And this… knocks him out of the ring!

NICOLE: The challenger is down! The victory goes to our reigning champ, Sally Acorn!

The crowd cheers on as Sally waves back to them all.

MIGHTY: AWWW! HE LOST!!!
AMY: HAH!! THAT’S WHAT YOU GET, SONIC!!!
KNUCKLES: Why do you celebrate his demise?
AMY: ….>_>

ROBOTNIK: *evil laugh* Writhe in your pit of shame, you worthless rodent!
DANNY: Er…
ELISE: Well…. I guess you can’t win em all, huh?

Sonic gets to his knees, and bangs the ground in frustration.

*Central Avenue*

Sonic, Elise, Mighty, and Ray, all walk out of the stadium with him. Sonic is looking quite pissed.

ELISE: Don’t worry, Sonic! At least you lost to the Champ, and not Antoine!
MIGHTY: Damn, Sonic, she worked you like a fiddle!
RAY: I just wished she could work me!
SONIC: Save it, guys! I’m not in the mood!
MIGHTY: Oh don’t get pissy with us! Just cause you mad you lost!
SONIC: I know she enjoyed that, too! That’s what’s pissing me off! Like she played me for an idiot and kept that all to herself!
MIGHTY: Because you are one?
ELISE: You’re taking this waaay too hard!! You don’t want to look like a sore loser!
RAY: It is because he was infatuated with her that he is so frustrated!
ELISE: Ohhh…
SONIC: You guys are not helping. No offense, Elise.
MIGHTY: Look on the bright side! Now that she beat your ass, she might be willing to talk to us about GTC!
SONIC: You’re enjoying this, aren’t you!?
MIGHTY: Yep!

Tails flies by.

TAILS: Hey, Sonic!
SONIC: What?
TAILS: Someone left a note for you!
SONIC: Hmm?

He opens it.

SONIC: “Meet me in Emerald Town. Alone.”?
ELISE: Who do you think it is?
SONIC: Who knows? But hell, anything to get my mind off of this crap! I’ll catch you guys later!

Sonic then speeds off.

MESSAGE: Mighty has gained a new Action Trigger! Press Down + Triangle/X to unleash a Burst Geyser of burning energy onto enemies!

MESSAGE: Battle Highway can now be selected on the stage select screen! New tournament circuits are now available!

Alright. Back in control of Sonic, you have a few new side missions (one of which involves Nicole) and some new costumes. Antoine and Rotor’s digs are available for the dudes while the girls get Nicole’s clothes. Also, Action Triggers for Mighty can be bought from the shop, and they all pertain to those goddamn wisps. Yes, I know I put them in, don’t mention it!

Anywho, you have to travel to Emerald town to progress.

There, Sonic looks around the area to find the one who left him the message. Suddenly, he sees Sally sitting at a table, waving at him.

SALLY: Hey! Over her!
SONIC: …. Sally?

He walks over.

SONIC: What’s all this about? I don’t suppose you wanted to gloat?
SALLY: *smiles* Come on, you really think I’m that vindictive? Over some dumb comments you made?
SONIC: You did seem rather irritated when I made them.
SALLY: Yeah, well… that wasn’t about you. Just… having a bad day, I didn’t mean to take it out on you.
SONIC: Apology accepted!
SALLY: Hmm. So, lets start over. Sally.
SONIC: …..Sonic. So, how bad was your day that you almost cut my head off?
SALLY: *giggles* Well… I just found out I’m being deported.
SONIC: What!? Even though you’re supposed to be the champion here!?
SALLY: No one cares what you do, only what you are. It was only a matter of time. With everything my brother was doing, people were bound to find a good excuse to get rid of me.
SONIC: ….You mean Elias?
SALLY: …..How do you know him!?
SONIC: Kid named Danny. Said he knew him well. I… might’ve had to bust him out of prison just to find that out.
SALLY: ……..You were looking into that GTC case?
SONIC: Yeah.
SALLY: ……So that’s why you in the competition. I told Elias so many times that he was going to get himself killed, but he didn’t care. “I have to help these people”, he’d always say.
SONIC: Wouldn’t you? I’ve seen how some of these guys live. It ain’t pretty.
SALLY: I never want to help humans. Not after knowing one of them murdered our father. I’ve seen the way they look at us. The fear, the jealousy, the hatred… why bother?
SONIC: Elias didn’t believe they were all bad. He saw something in them that motivated him to go to bat for them.
SALLY: Yeah, well I don’t! There’s no point in opening that old case up.
SONIC: So you’re giving up!? Don’t!
SALLY: He died trying to protect humans!
SONIC: No, he died trying to protect Mobians!
SALLY: What are you talking about!?
SONIC: GTC is making a drug that was made with harvested Mobian DNA.
SALLY: ….What!?
SONIC: They’re abducting us for this crap! Selling them off on the streets so that other humans can gain supernatural abilities! He was trying to put a stop to that! Danny had information, we had information, but it’s not enough! He left you with something important, Sally!
SALLY: …………
SONIC: You owe it to him to finish this case! Don’t let his death be in vain!
SALLY: …………………

*Sally’s apartment*

Sally digs through her belongings and takes out some folders.

SALLY: I’m not sure how any of this would help.
SONIC: You had that buried deep, huh?
SALLY: It’s painful, Sonic.
SONIC: I… yeah. Sorry.

Sonic takes the folder and looks through it all. And finds photos of the Marauders!

SONIC: What in the world!? Who are they shaking hands with!?
SALLY: A man named Jerome Wise. He took over GTC 35 years ago after the Thorndykes disappeared. Then he died under mysteroius circumstances. I don’t know who those ninjas are.
SONIC: They’re Marauders! And they’ve been causing a lot of catastrophes lately! If they’re behind what GTC’s been doing…. they’re complicit in the deaths of other Mobians!
SALLY: Wait, I thought the Marauders were just a myth!
SONIC: Those punches I took the other day felt pretty real to me! But this is exactly what we needed! You were sitting on a gold mine and you didn’t bother going forward with this?
SALLY: If you trust the UF, then by all means. they’ll likely bury it just to keep their image intact.
SONIC: It’s still worth a shot. They can’t keep getting away with this.
SALLY: Yeah. You got what you needed?
SONIC: This’ll do it! Thanks Sally.

Awkward pause.

SONIC: ….I should…. probably get going, then!
SALLY: Yeah. I have to start packing anyway.
SONIC: ANything I can do?
SALLY: Not unless you can bring back the dead.
SONIC: …..Ok…

Sonic heads for the door.

SALLY: Hey, Sonic?
SONIC: Yeah?
SALLY: ………Thanks. I mean it.
SONIC: No problem.
SALLY: Just… don’t be a stranger. Ok?
SONIC: O_O Sure thing!

And with that, Sonic leaves.

*Central Avenue*

The Trio, Elise, Tails, Silver, and Blaze are attending a rock concert.

BLAZE: It’s troubling to know that other Mobians would go so far as to kill their own kind
TAILS: It’s hard to believe they would be involved in something like this. They’re killing their own kind!
RAY: Well, evil tends to do evil things!
MIGHTY: Ray, shut up.
ELISE: …What’s the matter, Sonic?
SONIC: Huh? Oh, nothing.
MIGHTY: My ass it’s nothing! What’s going on!?
SONIC: ……You ever feel like… you can’t help everyone?
MIGHTY: …..Yeah! Because you can’t!
SONIC: It feels like there are so many people in this world that need help, and… we can’t be there for them all.
MIGHTY: Yeah! Because you can’t!
TAILS: Stop it, Mighty!
SILVER: Maybe we’re not meant to be. We’re not a large group that can do everything we need to.
BLAZE: He’s right. We do what we can. And that doesn’t mean everything in the world.

Then someone gets on stage.

HOST: Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve got some bad news! Sonia and Manic are out sick for the night, so our next performance will have to be cancelled!
AUDIENCE: *boos*
RAY: AWWWW!
MIGHTY: Oh come on!! Now what are we gonna listen to for the rest of the night!?
TAILS: …Hey, wait a minute! Why don’t we do the back up!?
TRIO: WHAT!?
ELISE: You guys can play music!?
TAILS: Yeah! We used to have a band back home!
MIGHTY: Key word “used” to! We broke it up and we’re out of practice!
TAILS: But you wanted a longer concert, right Mighty!?
MIGHTY: Yeah, but-
TAILS: HEY GUYS! WE CAN PLAY FOR YAH!?
HOST: You dudes can rock!?
TAILS: Sure we can!
RAY: Hold on! We suck!
SONIC: Tails!?
TAILS: Come on, Sonic!
ELISE: Yeah!

Everyone starts pushing the Trio up on stage!

SONIC: HOLD ON!!!
MIGHTY: GET OFF OF ME!!!
RAY: Everyone has such cold hands!

As they get on stage, they’re handed guitars and drumsets, and are joined by 3 other singers.

SINGER: You guys ready!?
TRIO: ………….
SONIC: ……..You know what!? Yeah, we are!!!
MIGHTY: Dulk!!
RAY: Well, we’re already here…. so why not!?
SONIC: If anything, it’ll knock off some of our rust! Lets do this!!

And they basically perform “His World” for the whole song length. Here, I’d probably have some rhythm game stuff in here. Otherwise, it’s gonna sound like Kojima made a Sonic game. 😛

After the performance, the 3 are elated by the applause they received.

RAY: Man! That felt goooooooooood!
SILVER: They’re not bad!
BLAZE: I don’t like this genre.
MIGHTY: Haven’t done that in while!
SONIC: Yeah! I miss this! Good times, huh?
MIGHTY: Yeah.

Later that night, Sonic still has that guitar. He just sits out in the field alone. And Elise decides to join him.

ELISE: I don’t know why you ever stopped being in a band. You guys are amazing!
SONIC: Yeah? Well, we have a tough crowd back home.
ELISE: Sounds like it. Hey! Could you play me a note? I wanna… I wanna sing for a bit!
SONIC: Wait, what!? You sing!?
ELISE: Well… a little! I don’t have many musicians back home, so I-
SONIC: Yeah, I gotcha. Don’t worry.

So Sonic plays a slow tune, and Elise sings along for a bit. Some cheesy shit like that. After about a minute or 2….

ELISE: ….Thank you.
SONIC: ….This sounded… personal.
ELISE: ……I used to…. sing to my father…. when I got the chance. He’d always say I have a beautiful voice, and would always want to hear it……………… Q_Q

And then she breaks down, hugging Sonic.

SONIC: ……It’s alright, Elise. We’ll get him back. I promise.

END OF ACT 2

Doing it Better: Neo Sonic Act 2-1

*Sky Babylon*

At this point, you can travel back down to Spagonia and do some side missions, or even head back to Apotos for w/e reason. But anywho, back in the Garden, everyone comments about the events differently depending on what you chose to do. Blaze, Rouge, and Marine will be pissy if you set Lah free, while everyone else will be concerned if you gave her to GUN. If you gave Lah to Marine, everyone will have a neutral response (IE I hope that thing doesn’t try to haunt us) etc. Knuckles… still… wont…. talk.

To continue on, head to Elise’s room and go to bed for the next scene. Yes, I know I’m still writing this like a walkthrough for a game that doesn’t exist, I stopped giving a damn.

Anywho, Elise is awakened by the sound of pounding.

ELISE: .*rubs eyes*…What’s that noise?

You’ll have to head outside for the next scene. Knuckles is actually training by punching a sand bag.

ELISE: ……Knuckles?
KNUCKLES: GRR!!

He quickly turns around and almost punches Elise! But he stops short of her face!

ELISE: *gasps*
KNUCKLES: Oh! It’s just you, Princess.
ELISE: What’s wrong with you!? You could’ve bruised my face!
KNUCKLES: …Well you shouldn’t have appeared out of nowhere! Shouldn’t you be in bed!?
ELISE: Shouldn’t you!?
KNUCKLES: I’m standing watch. You cannot be too safe in this world.
ELISE: But you need sleep too! It’s bad for your health if you stay up late!
KNUCKLES: You’re kind, but I am aware of the concept of adequate rest. Do not concern yourself with me.
ELISE: ……Why not?
KNUCKLES: I am not fragile. I have trained to be warrior my entire life. These fists were forged to be weapons.
ELISE: Well do you have to be so loud with your fists? I couldn’t sleep.
KNUCKLES: …..My apologies.
ELISE: ………You know, I never had a chance to know you. You seem so reserved compared to everyone else.
KNUCKLES: Is that wrong?
ELISE: Well… no, but you seem like a complete stranger. It’s… different. Since I’m awake, you wanna just…. talk?
KNUCKLES: …..If it makes you sleepy, so be it.

ELISE: So… what are you exactly?
KNUCKLES: I beg your pardon?
ELISE: I’ve seen a lot of Mobians. Hedgehogs, Foxes, Chipmunks, Rabbits, Bats… but I’ve never seen you before! You have huge hands, and your accent is like a Mazurian!
KNUCKLES: Well, I certainly don’t know what a Mazurian is, but what I am… is an Echidna!
ELISE: Oh! So you’re like an offshoot of Hedgehogs?
KNUCKLES: Far from it. I come from a long line of Echidnas that predate the existence of Hedgehogs! Though an exact date is unknown to me at this time. You could say… *smiles* that the Hedgehogs are an, as you say, “offshoot” of us!
ELISE: So are you and Sonic… cousins?

Rouge was flying by to check on things and overhears the convo

KNUCKLES: *laughs* Of course not! Just… good friends.
ELISE: I can see that! Sonic’s a pretty cool guy! I don’t know anyone who’d want to be his enemy!
KNUCKLES: Well…. we were enemies before. I was… deceived into fighting him. I had believed him to be an invader of my homeland. But as it turned out, he was trying to save it from the one who fooled me. And without him, I would’ve lost my sister.
ELISE: You have a sister!?
KNUCKLES: Back home. She’s…. about the same age as you. And probably worried sick about me.
ELISE: As well as all the other Echidnas, right?

Knuckles looks saddened by the remark.

ELISE: …..Knuckles?
KNUCKLES: There… are no other Echidnas. Me and my sister are the last of our kind. I know not what happened to our population, but I know that when we depart this world, the Echidna race will be no more. Hmm… You know, I never thought about this until you mentioned it.
ELISE: ….I’m sorry.
KNUCKLES: Do not trouble yourself with that knowledge. That is my burden alone.
ELISE: ….Does it scare you? To know that Echidnas won’t exist anymore?
KNUCKLES: ……..I try not to dwell on it. All I can hope for is that we will be remembered as those that defended the world from ancient demonic threats, no matter what the costs. And that our trials and tribulations will be used as footsteps to forging a better future for all!
ELISE: ……..Yeah!

ROUGE: Hmm……

*GUN Helicarrier*

The next day, Sonic and Tails meet up with Tower again.

Now… for this next part, how many of you mother fuckers will accuse me of “OMG SO WOKE!!!”? 😛

TOWER: Alright, we’ve got a lead on the next Marauder Enclave! We’re headed for the country of Mazuri!
SONIC: Sam and Topaz ain’t comin?
TOWER: They’re assisting Dr. Robotnik with locating enclaves in other Eurish nations, but we can’t ignore their presence in other places. In particular, Mazuri is the most concerning. It’s sitting on top of the richest source of minerals in the world! The Marauders take control of Mazuri, they’ve already won the war!
SONIC: Alright! I’ll hit up Mighty and Ray, and we’ll all be down below!
TOWER: Not so fast! I don’t want those 2 anywhere near that place!
SONIC: What!?
TAILS: I don’t see why that would be a problem.
TOWER: Considering where you’re going, those 2 in particular will cause issues! Mighty has a short fuse, and Ray is a goddamned fool! Mazuri is a huge source of conflict! You need people down there that have the most discipline! And those 2 damn sure don’t have it!
SONIC: So that leaves Marine out of the question too?
TOWER: Damn straight! We need people that aren’t emotional, are strictly disciplined, and won’t be inclined to take matters into their own hands! That said, Blaze shouldn’t even be there either!
SONIC: So… what? That just leaves me, Tails, and Knuckles?
TOWER: I think Silver would also be an asset in this case. But no one else! Is that clear!?
SONIC: *sighs* Crystal.
TOWER: Good! As a reminder, Mazuri is not affiliated with the United Federation, so we can’t just drop you off in town! you’ll have to cross the Savannah to get there without incident.
TAILS: Not to be untrusting, but you wouldn’t be trying to hide anything from us with those orders, would you?
TOWER: Kid, if I was, you wouldn’t be going down there at all! Now get movin!

*Mazuri Field*

Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Silver all land on the ground

SONIC: Ok guys! Lets find that enclave!
ALL: Right!

Next zone up is “Savannah Fields”. Not so much the citadel because having sand castles to run through is pretty stupid to me. Don’t take that the wrong way.
I think the US Good Future theme of Palmtree Panic fits better here than the original, too! 😛 Anywho, I don’t really have ideas for this area outside of maybe having some lions, hyenas, and rhinos chase after you on certain segments, but eh… idk.

After that, the group seems…. lost.

TAILS: Sonic, do you have any idea where we’re going?
SONIC: Of course I do! We just keep running in circles until we come up with a good reason why we weren’t given a friggin map!!!
KNUCKLES: Perhaps you should ask next time before rushing to your next destination!
SONIC: Whatever!

Then, Knuckles hears rustling in the bushes.

KNUCKLES: Shh! Someone is here!!! In that patch!
SONIC: Get ready, guys!

More rustling… and more rustling…. until a Mobian “Badger” pops out. Knuckles lowers his guard.

KNUCKLES: Oh…. no worries. It is but a child! Perhaps a resi-

And then the girl pounces on Tails!!

TAILS: AHHH!!
???: *screech*
SONIC: GET OFF OF HIM!!!

Sonic tosses the Badger off of Tails! And then she bites Sonic’s leg!

SONIC: HEY!!! GET OFF!!! You crazy punk!!!!
KNUCKLES: She doesn’t appear to be well raised.
SILVER: We have to do something!

Sonic shakes the wild child off his leg. And then, the thing takes out 2 daggers!

SONIC: Uh oh!
???: *unintelligible screams*

It dives at Sonic, daggers at the ready. However, Silver quickly snags the daggers with Psycho Kinesics.

???: eh!?

While airborne, Sonic catches the badger in his arms!

SONIC: Ok kid! You need to- OOF!

The child starts slapping and punching furiously to break his grip, and then looks to see that Silver had the daggers!

SILVER: A little kid shouldn’t play with sharp objects!

And then it tackles Silver to the ground, and starts pummeling him as well!

SILVER: HELP!!! SHE’S CLAWING MY FACE!
TAILS: He took on 8 of us at once, but can’t handle someone my age?
SONIC: Amazing, isn’t it!? Yo Knux! Any chance of a hand!?
KNUCKLES: *sighs* It is a waste of time, but fine!

Knuckles walks up to the badger.

KNUCKLES: UNHAND HIM, CHILD!!!

The Badger then leaps off Silver to face Knuckles…. but then… it pauses. It looks at him with curiosity.

KNUCKLES: ……..What’s wrong? Do you sense an actual threat?
SONIC: Up yours, Knux!

The Badger gets on all fours and hops around Knuckles in a strange pattern.

TAILS: What’s it doing?
SONIC: You’re asking the wrong guy, Tails!
KNUCKLES: Is this some sort of…. customary ritual?

And then, out of nowhere, the Badger runs away, screaming!

KNUCKLES: O_O;
TAILS: Wha?
SILVER: What a strange girl….
SONIC: Hell, you should’ve been helped us, Knucklehead!
KNUCKLES: I doubt that response was expected by anyone!

And then the Badger comes back, jumps for a bit, and then points at Knuckles again! And afterward, a Mazurian boy…. I think he was “Kwod”, steps out from a tree…. followed by several other Mazurian children.

TAILS: That Badger leads an army of kids!?

They then surround Knuckles and start laughing.

KNUCKLES: What is this? Why do you encircle me, children? HEY!!

They all lift Knuckles up on his back and carry him off, with the Badger following!

KNUCKLES: HEY! Put me down! I am not in the mood for your childish games!
SILVER: Is he in any real danger?
SONIC: Sure! He’ll have fun for once in his life, which will force that stick out of his ass! Come on! They might be taking him to the village!

*Savannah Village*

Sonic’s hunch was correct as all the children had brought Knuckles to the Mazurian village. The locals are shocked when they see Knuckles, and stare at him with bewilderment! As the children carry him through, everyone drops what they’re doing to follow!

VILLAGERS: It’s an Echidna! Echidna! They still live! An Echidna! Here!? They really do exist!

The children finish their journey at the great tree, presenting him to the village elder…. Gwek, was it? I kinda visualized him with Rafiki’s voice from the Lion King. I wonder if that actor is still alive…..

KNUCKLES: What is the meaning of this!? Who are you!?
GWEK: …..Ahhh! By the stars of our ancestors! Are you real!?
KNUCKLES: …..Of course! I can touch the walls! Those little ones carried me across that valley! Am I not speaking to you!? Why have I been brought before you!?
GWEK: *Joyous laughter* I am Gwek! The former chief of this village! And you… are the first Echidna we have seen…. in generations! To think I would live to see the day… when the Echidna finally return to us!
KNUCKLES: …..I don’t understand! Are you saying that… my kind have lived here!? In this village!? In the Human World?
GWEK: My child…. they built…. this village! Are you not familiar with the history of this world?
KNUCKLES: I’ve never been to this world! It is my first time here!
GWEK: Ah! Then you must’ve come from the other side of the veil!

Gwek gets off his stump and takes Knuckles by the hand.

GWEK: Come, child! There is much for you to learn!

Gwek then takes him throughout the village, basically giving him a tour. The people are still excited to see him.

GWEK: You see, everything here was crafted by the hands of Echidna! From the hollowed trees that make up our homes, to the grainy minerals of our great citadel! It is a land that blended together the harmony of nature and the ingenuity of civilization! To this day, we’ve ensured that it remains untainted by the industrial corruption that had taken hold of the world!
KNUCKLES: And no human had lived here before?
GWEK: Of course we have! The Echidna were not so territorial as to not welcome others! We Mazurians had lived in harmony with the Echidna for eons long past! At least until The Great Division.
KNUCKLES: The Great Division?
GWEK: A traumatic event in our history. But… that is for another time. It was this event… that wiped out the last stretch of Echidna in this world. They vanished from the Earth, never to appear again. We owe the Echidna a great many things. They gave the world language. Music. Art. And the greatest gift of all. Knowledge of the universe! And through their generosity, the world as we know it today came to existence!
KNUCKLES: My people….. shaped this world?
GWEK: Yes. Unfortunately, the industrial age took hold in much of the world, removing any and all need of the Echidna and their gifts. And thus, it was industry… that destroyed them! To know that one has actually survived!? I thought I would pass out from the elation!
KNUCKLES: ……..I don’t mean to presume, but what is it that you expect me to do, exactly? I know only the history of my world! All I’ve known was training to be a warrior. I know nothing of creating…. civilization!
GWEK: There is no need! We have the gifts of civilization! And now, we have a living, breathing example … of the fathers of civilization! Perhaps there are more living behind the veil?
KNUCKLES: You speak of Mobius?
GWEK: Of course!
KNUCKLES: ……..Then I wish I had better news. Me and my sister are the last of our kind there.
GWEK: ……..Then, consider yourself extremely lucky to exist now!
???: Hey!

Sonic, Silver, and Tails had all caught up to them!

SONIC: Wanna let us in on the tour?
KNUCKLES: Sonic!
GWEK: Friends of yours?
KNUCKLES: Yes!
GWEK: Hmm… Then welcome to Mazuri!!

After that, you’ll be in Savannah Village. You’ll be controlling Knuckles in the hub. There are a few side missions available, but completing any of them will subtract 12GT each.
To actually continue, speak with Gwek again.

GWEK: Welcome! Did you need anything?
KNUCKLES: This village is amazing. I did not think humans could live within nature itself!
SONIC: You’d think there’d be more Mobians here too! Well… outside of that Badger that attacked us.
GWEK: *laughs* You’ll have to forgive “Sticks”. Being a Mobian who watches over the children, she is fiercely protective of them! Unfortunately, she can only speak our native tongue, so outsiders do not know what she speaks.
SONIC: Her name is “Sticks”!?
GWEK: Many think it silly, but give her a piece of wood, no matter the size or strength, and she literally becomes a force to be reckoned with!

Speaking of which, Sticks jumps on Knuckles’s head…. and licks him.

KNUCKLES: Ergh!! What is she doing!?
SONIC: I think she’s hungry!
GWEK: No, that is how she comes to know others. Strangers to the village go through her little…. “taste” test before she comes to trust them.
KNUCKLES: What a bizarre child!
SONIC: So what? Mobians get a “pounce” test?
GWEK: She can sense those who can put up a fight and those who can’t. However, those that are not a threat…. gets the taste test!
SONIC: I feel sorry for the tourists!

Then Sticks jumps off of Knuckles, pulls him down, and drags him across the village!

KNUCKLES: What now!?
GWEK: It seems he has passed the test!
SONIC: Pff! And if he failed?
GWEK: She would attempt to carve out his innards!
SONIC: O_O;
GWEK: *laughs* That was a bit of Mazurian humor! Sticks would just keep her distance, and ensure he doesn’t go near the children.
SONIC: Riiiiiiight. Guess Tails doesn’t meet the same standards.

Elsewhere , Sticks had pulled Knuckles toward her tree where 3 kids were.

KNUCKLES: I don’t suppose this is your abode?
STICKS: YACK!
KNUCKLES: …..I’ll take that as a yes.

One of the kids walks up to Knuckles and gives him a stick figure that vaguely looks like an Echidna.

KNUCKLES: Oh… thank you. Though I don’t believe I deserve such reverence. I’ve only met-

He then notices the other 2 boys…. swinging their fists at each other.

KNUCKLES: ….I’m sorry, what are they doing?
STICKS: Trahny!
KNUCKLES: ……You mean “training”?
STICKS & KID: *shakes head “yes”*

He watches them for a few minutes… and then gets fed up!

KNUCKLES: No no no! Hold this!

He gives Sticks the… “stick” figure, and then walks over to the kids.

KNUCKLES: You 2 have it all wrong! It’s not the proper technique! You have to visualize your fists as a weapon! Currently, you swing as though you are using a hammer or an axe! But your fists must be treated like the tip of a sword! Come with me, I will show you!

He takes the 2 outside, with Sticks and the other child…. and they find an old sand dune.

KNUCKLES: Now swing as you normally would!

They do so, merely only grazing the dune.

KNUCKLES: As you can see, the swing lacks power! And is more of a risk! You end up hurting yourself more than your opponent! However…

Knuckles then goes up to the dune and does a straight punch, blasting a crater into the dune! The children were amazed!

KNUCKLES: There is the difference! The strength of your blow is focused to a single point! Though…. I suppose it would take years before you could cause that level of damage. But more importantly, your fists remain in front of you! This is key! Sticks, take up one of these branches!
STICKS: Oh!?

She does so.

KNUCKLES: Now prepare to swing!

Sticks pulls the branch back.

KNUCKLES: STOP!!
STICKS: ERgh!?
KNUCKLES: You see here? The branch is her weapon, but in preparing for an attack, she is exposed! Too many openings in which she could be countered! She has no defenses to speak of! Her main defense is now located at the rear! Now Sticks, swing!

She does so.

KNUCKLES: You see how slow her attack was?
STICKS: Eh!?
KNUCKLES: Yes, that was slow! A trained fighter would be able to read you and evade your attack with ease! But that is a result of the technique! Not your own strength! Now it is true that this motion might be stronger, but it is impractical and risky! Uses more energy than necessary! Now, hold the branch in front of you like a sword.

Sticks does so.

KNUCKLES: Now, here is the difference! Sticks’s weapon is located in front of her! Meaning her defenses are in their proper place! It gives her adequate range, keeping her opponent at a distance! Now Sticks….. THRUST!!

She does so, seemingly faster and stronger than before, and the kids take note of it.

STICKS: Oh!!!
KNUCKLES: You see!? The thrust combines both speed and power into a single motion! All the while, her distance is maintained, and her energy is not depleted with the attack! In this instance, less is more! Now, obviously as you have no weapons, this may seem meaningless. But that is why you must visualize your fists as the tip of sword! Now children! Hold your fists up like this!

The children do so.

KNUCKLES: Now imagine your arms as the branch that Sticks had held! These are your weapons! These are your tools! And that sand dune is the enemy! Just as you would thrust with the stick, so too must you thrust with the arms!

The children then begin punching the sand dune, seemingly with stronger strikes than before. Though merely a small improvement, that was enough to surprise them!

KNUCKLES: *laughs* Well, you are all still small, but it helps to learn from an early age!

He then looks at Sticks.

KNUCKLES: It is good that you are trying to teach them to protect themselves. That is the best thing anyone can do. Afterall, there will come a time when you cannot be there for them, and they must fend for themselves.
STICKS: Ohhh….
KNUCKLES: Don’t be so gloomy. That is life. Even… I must come to terms with that. *thinking back to Tikal*

Back in the village, you’ll find that everyone is excited for some reason. Asking some of the NPCs, you’ll find that a man named “Kwami” is coming to town. Go to Gwek to continue on.

TAILS: This place is amazing! It’s like being on Angel Island!
KNUCKLES: Shhh!
TAILS: Oh, sorry!
SONIC: Don’t sweat it, Knuckles! No one can get there from this part of the universe! Besides, these guys love yah! I don’t think they’ll risk wanting to piss you off!
GWEK: I’m glad you all enjoy our home! The beauty of nature surrounds us and blesses us with an abundance of life every day! But now…. I must ask you… why you have come.
SONIC: ….Just like that!? We could just taking in the sights!
GWEK: We don’t often get visitors that don’t have business to discuss. There is good reason that Sticks attacked you. You all are capable of destruction! It begs the question of why you have come! Afterall, we noticed an aircraft from GUN flying over our village! And that 4 Mobians had been dropped off!
TAILS: Oh… you knew!?
SONIC: Rats! The cat’s out of the bag now!
KNUCKLES: What cat? Blaze?
GWEK: *laughs* Don’t think us so simple as to not suspect your arrival! GUN is not to be trusted! Though you’ve not harmed anyone, there is something you seek!
SONIC: *sighs* ……Ok, yeah, you’re right. Have you ever heard of the Marauders?
GWEK: I hear of many bandits. That name is vague to me. What are they to you?
KNUCKLES: They are a group who have committed a few atrocities thus far. As of late, we’ve had no success in combating them, or even finding their leaders. We hear that they may have some activities in this region.
GWEK: So it is justice you’ve come to deliver. An admirable quality. One that your ancestors also had. Unfortunately, I’ve not heard of this group, and thus will be useless to you. What have they done?
TAILS: They destroyed an entire city, and kidnapped the Duke of Apotos!
SILVER: They also attacked my friends on a train through the mountains outside of Spagonia. They’re ruthless!
SONIC: And we’re kinda babysitting the Duke’s daughter until we can save him.
GWEK: And…. this involves GUN?
SONIC: We…. kinda got roped into helping them.
GWEK: Good. You do not trust them any more than I do. That said, even if I did have the knowledge you seek, I cannot speak too much. Not when you’re working with them, I’m sorry.
SONIC: Guess I can’t blame yah there.
GWEK: However, you may be able to inquire from-
???: HELLO, PAPA!

The one known as “Kwami” (I hope that’s the “father” from Mazuri) arrives. In a business suit, no less.

KWAMI: I have come home!
GWEK: *groans* The village Chief himself. And my son…
SILVER: Huh?
KWAMI: Ah! You have Mobian guests! I assume they seek riches?
GWEK: Surprisingly, not this time! Not that it would matter to you, Kwami!
KWAMI: Oh don’t be such a stiff! So long as it keeps outsiders from completely raiding our nation, you should not care if they want such treasures!
TAILS: Should we… leave?
KWAMI: Don’t mind him! Relax! Make yourselves at home! And do yourselves a favor and avoid that taste test!
KNUCKLES: It’s a little late for that!
SILVER: Taste test?

Later, night falls, and everyone is celebrating for some reason. Sticks leads a parade with the children as they carry branches in hand.

KWAMI: HAHA! Libations for all!
SONIC: That guy sure knows how to throw a party!
TAILS: It’s not as loud or as crazy as most parties are. I kinda like it! And the drinks are nonalcoholic too!
GWEK: All our food comes from the earth. We reject all from the industry.
KNUCKLES: Elder Gwek. You don’t seem very festive this night. Did something happen?
GWEK: Oh, I’m fine! My son just…. *sighs*
SILVER: Is there something wrong with him?
GWEK: That’s one way of putting it!
SONIC: I’m guessing you don’t like his fancy suit!
GWEK: Bah! He puts on that display of corruption! His travels to the industrial worlds, and marriage to that Naijo tramp, have made him arrogant! Made him weary of our natural way of life! If he continues to push his views onto us, he will destroy everything that Mazuri stands for! But… that is my burden to carry, do not concern yourself with it.
TAILS: Industrial worlds?
GWEK: Those with the foundation of glass and steel! With those factories that pollute the soil we walk, the water we drink, the food we eat, the air we breathe! His work makes it difficult for the Earth to be strong!
TAILS: But… what about more useful technologies like refrigerators, indoor plumbing, and filters for cleaner air?
GWEK: Teaches others not to do for self, but depend on others to live! You become a slave to their services, and they control how they’re run!
TAILS: But there is so much-

Sonic grabs Tails’s shoulder and gestures “no”.

GWEK: My logic will fail to teach a boy of science. If you still seek these “Marauders”, Kwami may have answers for you. I… I’m going to bed.

Gwek leaves the table, leaving the 4 confused.

Now you’re free to move about the area. Most of the people here will be talking about Knuckles anyway. Sticks speaks in gibberish so w/e. Head to Kwami’s to continue the story.

KWAMI: Welcome, newcomers and fellow travelers! I am Kwami! Chief of Savannah Village! And I humbly welcome our first Echidna visitor in a lifetime! You honor us with your presence!
SONIC: No big! I’m just a “blank slate” anyway!
TAILS: Sonic!
KWAMI: My apologies! I did not mean to imply that you lack importance compared to your friend! But… you do.
TAILS: Well that was blunt.
SILVER: I don’t mean to interrupt, but we’ve come for an urgent mission!
KWAMI: A mission?
KNUCKLES: Yes. We are here to relieve you of the Marauders!
KWAMI: ……..Interesting. I had no idea that we were in need of relief!
TAILS: Yeah. Your father mentioned that he didn’t know anything about the Marauders, but maybe you do?
KWAMI: Of course I know of them. Infact… they are a trusted ally of mine!
ALL: WHAT!?
SONIC: You’ve joined the Marauders!?
KWAMI: Of course not! You have to be a Mobian to be a part of their brotherhood. But as a partner, I could not ask for better allies!
KNUCKLES: You cannot be serious! They are evil! You know not the dangers they bring!
KWAMI: ….Have you fought with them before?
KNUCKLES: ……….No, but-
SONIC: We have! So I can vouch!
KWAMI: With all due respect, I am speaking with the Echidna.
SONIC: What!?
KWAMI: The people here revere your kind as some sort of Godly race. However, you share the same flaws as any mortal. You merely believe the Marauders to be enemies… because someone “told” you they were! You’ve never faced them personally. You don’t even know… who or what they are! You’ve only heard malevolent things about them!
KNUCKLES: Do you know something about them that we do not?!
KWAMI: Far more than you do! *Walks around* You see, my dear father theorizes that the road to ruin is to be… “corrupted” by industrialization. But it is the mindless prattle of an old fossil stuck in his ways.
KNUCKLES: You speak of your own father! Have more respect!
KWAMI: As much as I love him, respect is earned before it is given. I cannot respect one who is unwilling to evolve!

Sticks eavesdrops on the conversation.

KWAMI: You may have heard tale of the Great Division. An event that came as a result of conquest by foreign nations. Why did it come to pass? Because we spent more time being in harmony with nature. It did more… “harm” than it did good! Instead of preparing and developing technologies that could help defend ourselves, we wanted to make peace with a glorified vegetable patch! We have to evolve if we are to survive! We cannot remain under the thumb of others! The Marauders offer us a chance to finally gain an equal footing against other nations!
SONIC: And what if they stab you in the back!?
KWAMI: Then perhaps you need to make me a better offer, Hedgehog!
SONIC: Maybe I will! What are the Marauders doing for you, exactly!?
KWAMI: Granting us the tools necessary to properly develop this land and utilize the resources at a rate that would put us on level footing with the rest of the world! Can you do that?
TAILS: What if they’re using those resources for themselves?
KWAMI: Then I will consider it a sign of our gratitude!
KNUCKLES: Listen to yourself! Where does this desperation come from!?
KWAMI: ……….You consider yourself to be the last of your kind! No?
KNUCKLES: Er….
SONIC: ………..
TAILS: ……………
KWAMI: It is because they were not prepared for war. We have seen entire species disappear from the earth. The Echidna were not the first. I will not sit idly by while I and my fellow Mazurians meet the same fate! One must preserve their people above and beyond all else!
KNUCKLES …………..
KWAMI: ……..It is getting late. I must be off now. Perhaps we can discuss things another time?

Kwami then leaves.

KNUCKLES: Hmm…
SONIC: Hey, don’t let him get to you! He’s the one making the mistake, not you!
KNUCKLES: It’s not that….
SILVER: He’s putting his survival above preserving a way of life. I don’t think that should be taken as a mistake.
SONIC: Sure! And joining terrorists is the best way to do that!
SILVER: Sonic, I didn’t- … *sighs* On the one hand, you have someone trying to preserve their culture, on the other, you have someone trying to survive. This isn’t really a black or white issue!
SONIC: So what? Are we supposed to say the Marauders are terrorizing people to survive!? I don’t see how attempted murder fits into any of that!
SILVER: ….I guess so. Maybe?
SONIC: You don’t know the first thing about them, do you?
SILVER: *sighs*
TAILS: But we do! Even if Kwami is right, he’s still going through the wrong people!
KNUCKLES: Him!? Being right!? What gave you that impression!?
TAILS: This is a nice village and all, but how do you expect them to defend themselves? They have no weapons to compete with armies like GUN!
KNUCKLES: Neither do we, and yet we’ve have thrashed our fair share of their machines!
SONIC: Yeah. Cause we have super powers. Humans don’t.
SILVER: Stop! This isn’t our fight! Let them sort out their dilemma! Our task is the Marauders, first and foremost!

Then Sticks goes inside and waves at them!

TAILS: Hey, it’s that girl!
SILVER: Sticks?
KNUCKLES: I believe she wants us to follow her!

And they do! Next up is Savannah Fields Act 2 at Night

Yeah, wasn’t focused on having it match up with the theme and all, it just sounds good. Anywho, the goal here is to keep up with Sticks as she leads you to…. somewhere. Much of this Act has you climbing a tree to the top, and wouldn’t you know it, you have enemies this time! Marauders will start appearing midway through the area, and will become numerous as you progress.

Afterward, Sticks beckons the team to a hole in the tree.

SILVER: Is this what you wanted to show us?
STICKS: *shakes head*

They look inside… to find the Marauders!

SONIC: Holy…. it’s them!
TAILS: We found the Marauder Hideout!
KNUCKLES: So these are the Marauders! Why do they wear such armor!?
SILVER: Maybe to hide who they are!?

???: Developing Mazuri will take time. What if the locals don’t properly use their resources?
???: That is not our concern! The goal is to raise this country to a point where others will see them as a threat! It will force their hands and create a new player in the battlefield! We care not what Mazuri does afterwards! There may not be an after!
???: Yes. Once that occurs, the entire central and eastern nations will be embroiled in conflict! Then we strike at the UF! They’ll be too busy trying to help their allies that they won’t know what will hit them!

TAILS: They really ARE trying to start a war between Earth’s nations!
SONIC: But why!? What do they gain from it!?
KNUCKLES: A better question! Why are we waiting here!?

Knuckles PUNCHES a larger hole in the tree and leaps in!

???: WHO DARES ENTER OUR DOMAIN!?
KNUCKLES: Your imminent demise!!!
SONIC: Alright, lets get in there!

Sonic and the others jump in, Sticks included. All for a Wave Battle! 4 waves of assholes to fight, you know the drill. The last 2 waves will have “Elite” Marauders who have both arm cannons and gauntlets to punch with! They can block physical attacks on ocassion, but what does mean for Silver and Tails? 😛

After it, the Marauders begin to retreat! Sonic and friends give chase.

SONIC: DON’T LET EM ESCAPE!!!
TAILS: GOT IT!!!

They try to get into their ships, but Silver manages to hold them back!

SILVER: Not so fast! Sonic! Knuckles! The others are escaping!

Sonic pursues a group while Knuckles pursues the “female” Marauder from the Radical Train Zone!

KNUCKLES: HALT, FIEND!

She tosses a few daggers backward, but Knuckles knocks them away and catches up to her!

KNUCKLES: Got you!

However, she ducks and does a Cartwheel kick in his face! Then she takes out the bo-staff!

KNUCKLES: *spits blood* Not bad! But lacking in power!

They both fight for a moment, with Knux taking a few blows while the female elegantly evades his attacks.

However, he manages to BREAK her staff!

???: What the…

And then he uppercuts her in the face! In doing so, her helmet falls as she plops to the ground!

KNUCKLES: Hah! Though your speed and grace is without peer, your technique is….

And then, as the girl rises up, Knuckles sees her face… and dreds similar to his own!

KNUCKLES: O_O What!? You…. you’re a…
???: ….Grrr…
KNUCKLES: But I thought-

Before he could finish his sentence, the woman tosses down a smokescreen, obscuring his vision before she makes her escape. He coughs as the smoke clears, seeing no sign of her.

Sonic then appears.

SONIC: Damn! They got away! You alright, man?
KNUCKLES: ………..
SONIC: Yo, you all there?
KNUCKLES: What? Oh… yes. They erm… they eluded me.
SONIC: >_> …….. Well, we got most of them. Come on, we might be able to salvage something at their base!

Back to hubbing the Marauder Base. As before, finding any clues will net 3GT each. During the search, they all talk.

KNUCKLES: How did you know the Marauder base was here?
STICKS: Yai yai!
KNUCKLES: ……..
SILVER: Kwami did say they were allies. Maybe she’s always known!
TAILS: So why help us take them down? Wouldn’t she be betraying Kwami as well?
SONIC: Maybe she’s Team Gwek.
STICKS: YACK!
SONIC: There we go! Maybe she’s always wanted to take them down, but didn’t have the strength or help!
KNUCKLES: Perhaps we should keep her involvement a secret. If they knew she led us to them, it could have ramifications for the villagers!
SONIC: Amen to that!

To actually continue, head to the second floor (yes, again) to find pictures of Shamar, and a strange device.

SONIC: What’s that?
TAILS: ….Hey, that’s a tremor device!
SONIC: …… “What’s that”?
TAILS: They’re weapons that were developed with the purpose of causing earthquakes! Splitting the landmass apart! GUN back in our world had blueprints for weapons like these! But they never built them because they were too dangerous!
SILVER: Why would anyone create such a weapon!?
SONIC: I guess there’s a lot of money in natural disasters.
KNUCKLES: Was this what Kwami meant by preparing for war!?
TAILS: …No! You don’t think….
SONIC: I hope not! Lets hold off on telling Tower anything until we can get to the bottom of this.
SILVER: Good idea!

Just then, they hear gunshots from the village!

TAILS: What was that!?
SONIC: It came from the village!
STICKS: Yari!

Sticks runs out of the base!

KNUCKLES: WAIT, CHILD!!

Knuckles runs after her.

SONIC: Silver, grab everything you can from here and get back to Babylon, pronto!
SILVER: You got it!
SONIC: Lets go, Tails!

*Mazuri Fields*

Sticks finds that Shamrian Raiders, on horseback, had attacked the village, and that the children were kidnapped!

STICK: AHHHH!

She then leaps at one of the caravans and stabs one of the raiders!

RAIDER: JOGAAAA!!!

She tries her best to kill the raiders, but they instead catch her in rope! Sticks struggles to break free, but is nearly strangled in said struggle. They all grab her and put her into a cage with the other children, and ride off!

Until….

KNUCKLES: I’VE GOT YOU!!!

Knuckles glides in and punches 2 of the Raiders off of their horses. But the Caravans still roll out!

KNUCKLES: NO!!

The 2 raiders draw their weapons and open fire, but Knuckles them, disarms them, and beats them both senseless! Then, he drags one of them onto a tree and punches him awake!

KNUCKLES: WHERE ARE THEY TAKING THEM!?
RAIDER: Mrm….
KNUCKLES: ANSWER!!

Then he spits blood in Knuckles’s face.

RAIDER: To hell with you, Mobian dog!

Suddenly, the Raider is shot dead!

KNUCKLES: What the-…

Kwami had shot him from behind, with bruises on his face.

KWAMI: ….Knuckles.

Sonic and Tails show up.

SONIC: What happened!?
KWAMI: They… came…. took the… children….

And then he falls over.

SONIC: Whoa…

*Village*

The gang returns to the village, with the residents crying in agony. They had to cover some bodies up.

TAILS: This is horrible!
GWEK: Knuckles! Sonic! It was… Shamarian Raiders! They came…. took the… children!
KWAMI: All of them in cages!
SONIC: Shamarian Raiders!?
KWAMI: They often come to Mazuri in search of those they can force into labor for them! And they don’t ask!

Kwami gets up and walks toward Gwek.

KWAMI: Do you see now, Father!? How can our harmony with nature protect us from those desert demons!?
GWEK: You will NOT use this to push your views on the village!
KWAMI: But we can all see for ourselves how being one with the world around us is just a veil for your cowardice!!
GWEK: How dare you!!! I’ve spent my entire life ensuring that our way of life does not become perverted by these machines! Once you begin industrializing our nation, you will consume it’s resources until there is nothing left to restore!
KWAMI: And if we die, they will be consumed by someone else! You cannot be so blind as to think we will take refuge with some damned trees!
KNUCKLES: ENOUGH!!!
GWEK & KWAMI: ………
KNUCKLES: Your next of kin are in danger! Focus on saving them first!!! If they perish, you will have none to carry on either of your ideals!!!
KWAMI: ……He is right! But at the moment, we stand no chance against them! *Points to Gwek* He made sure of that!
SONIC: Leave em to us! We’ll get em back! Knux, we need to let Tower know about this!
KNUCKLES: Then let us make haste!
TAILS: I’ll stay here and keep watch for anyone that might start trouble!
SONIC: Will you be fine by yourself?
TAILS: I took care of myself for years before meeting you. Leave it to me!

*Unknown area*

The Marauders had escaped to a hidden location, where snow and ice collide. The female Marauder in question heads inside of an area, finding the Imperator Ix resting on a throne, with the Duke of Apotos behind bars.

IX: “Shade”
SHADE: Imperator.
IX: What happened in Mazuri?
SHADE: We were discovered by these Mobians. I’m not sure how they found us, but we’ve lost our base in the Savannah.
IX: And they’ve seen.. your face!
SHADE: …….It’s alright, Imperator. They won’t-

Ix then stretches out his arm… and suddenly, Shade falls to her knees in pain.

SHADE: ULG!! MY LORD!!!!
IX: Twice now, you have failed to kill the Princess! And now we’ve lost a stronghold in the richest land on Earth! They know your face! Your incompetence is showing more and more as the days grow old!
SHADE: *straining* Forgive me, Imperator!!! They are….. stronger than we could’ve anticipated! They’re not… like other Mobians! It is likely they came from the Island…. in the sky!!!
IX: Is that so!?
SHADE: Yes! Please!

He releases her, allowing Shade to catch her breath.

IX: They will become a blight on our plans! The next time you face them, I want their heads on a spike! You know the price of failure!
SHADE: Yes! I won’t fail you next time!
IX: See to it that you do not! Begone!!

Shade leaves.

DUKE: Leave my daughter alone!!! What has she ever done to you!?
IX: The question is…. what have you done for the world?
DUKE: What!?
IX: We have stood in the shadows and bore witness to what humanity has wrought upon this world! War, slavery, genocide, famine, but above all else, an all consuming desire to control! It breeds unending contempt for one another, unending conquest, and unending greed! *points* Your kind has been allowed to ruin the world! It is time for a new age! One that is not perverted by your stench!
DUKE: You’re going to exterminate the human race!? You’re insane!
IX: Then let insanity be the mother of revolution!

*GUN Helicarrier*

Sonic and Knuckles find Blaze, Sam, and Topaz all in attendance.

SONIC: When did you guys get back?
TOPAZ: Tower called for us back
TOWER: Not me. It was Blaze.
BLAZE: My apologies, but Marine has discovered the location of a Marauder stronghold in Shamar.
TOWER: Send us the coordinates and we’ll have boots on the ground in no time!
BLAZE: There’s something else. They appear to have acquired some sort of weapon capable of Seismic activity!
SONIC: The Tremor Device!?
TOWER: Tremor Device!? How the hell do you know about that!?
SONIC: We took out the Marauder hideout in Mazuri, and found photos of the weapon being used in the desert. Plus, the Dingos on our side aren’t good with keeping secrets!
TOWER: So I’ve noticed. Then it’s imperative that we get our asses over there and put a stop them as soon as possible! If they use the Tremor Device, they could wipe out entire cities!
KNUCKLES: Good! We were hoping to gain entry into Shamar! Those Raiders are sure to be there as well!
TOWER: Come again?
SONIC: Right. Savannah Village was attacked by some robed jerkoffs! They killed a few people and kidnapped children!
KNUCKLES: They put them in cages!
TOPAZ: Like animals?
TOWER: Hmm.. sounds like the “Seven Rings” are back in business!
SONIC: Who are they?
SAM: A terrorist group who rose in power after the wake of the desert contra.
TOPAZ: A decade long war the UF waged in Shamar.
TOWER: And it’s precisely because of weapons like the Tremor Device that the Desert Contra occurred! They’re not a significant threat, but they’re just a long line of Raiders that have terrorized Mazurians for eons. But this group is several times as dangerous!
KNUCKLES: They seem to be no more than common thugs with cheap weapons! They should be no problem for just us 3 alone!
TOWER: Their grunts are green, sure. But it’s their leader that changes the whole game! “Erazor Djinn” is what we classify as a “meta human”. We don’t know how or why, but this bastard has super human strength, durability, and the uncanny power to conjure fire. If anything, he’s a bigger, meaner version of Blaze!
BLAZE: I doubt he’s that powerful.
TOWER: Then maybe you should take a gander at his body counts. Several unmarked graves are strewn about the Arid Sands, and not one of them was able to scratch him!
KNUCKLES: We have to try! Their future depends on us!
TOWER: We’re not dealing with the Seven Rings. Our priority is the Tremor Device and the Marauders operating it.
KNUCKLES: What!? We can’t just leave those children to their fate!
TOWER: If we leave that weapon alone, they won’t have a future either way. Our actions in Shamar created the Seven Rings, and we’re not going to exacerbate the problem. Besides, Erazor Djinn will eat you all for breakfast and crap you out by dinner! You won’t get the chance to save them.
SONIC: Please! I’ve taken hits from a demigod! Erazor Djinn doesn’t scare me!
TOWER: The answer is no, Sonic! Leave those damned raiders alone and focus on the Tremor Device!
SONIC: You’ve gotta be kidding me! Those are kids!
TOWER: And they can make more. It’s not a total loss.
KNUCKLES: You piece of-
SAM: Hey, relax chief! No need to get worked up over a bunch of mud hutters!
TOWER I suggest you secure that mouth, Speed! *To Sonic* Set a course for Shamar! We’re dealing with these bastards one way or another!

*Sky Babylon*

Again, you’re Elise. Everyone talks about what’s coming up next. Knuckles is pissed at Tower for suggesting they ignore the plights of the Mazurians, while Blaze is gungho about dealing with the Marauders. Speedy has one new Action Trigger for Knuckles called called “Red Rock” which is a fireball he can shoot from his fists (Sagat Style) and a new gun for Marine (homing shot). Honey has Sticks’s costume for the girls because I know there are sick fucks out there dying to strip tease Rouge. 😛

Anywho, you just talk to Sonic to proceed with the story, having Knuckles, Tails, Jet, Silver, Rouge, and Blaze with him.

KNUCKLES: We have to defeat the Seven Rings and save the children!
BLAZE: I understand your concern, but the Marauders have taken hold of a dangerous weapon! If they’re allowed to use it for any reason, the entire world will be in jeopardy!
TAILS: But we can’t just leave them alone! What if those Raiders hurt them… or worse?
ROUGE: You’ll have to think about what’s more important. The fate of the world, or the fate of a handful.
KNUCKLES: Are you mad, woman!?
ROUGE: Sorry, sugar, but you can’t prioritize one over the other just because you got attached to them! Afterall, “it’s the selfishness of survival”, remember?
SONIC: Guys, chill out! We’ve got more than enough people on hand to do BOTH tasks! So we split into 2 groups and go it from there! Good?
SILVER: That works perfectly!
JET: What do you think GUN is trying to hide?
SONIC: What do you mean?
JET: The way you guys put it, that ol’ GUN commander seemed adamant in not tackling the Seven Rings, even with kids lives at stake. We’re already babysitting one brat, what’s a few more who’ve been captured?
BLAZE: It’s because one side has a powerful weapon capable of destroying multiple cities at once! I’d say that warrants more of our attention!
JET: Yeah, well you guys can handle that. I’m gonna see what secret GUN is trying to keep!
SONIC: Ohhhhhh, now you wanna get involved in the plot!
JET: Kiss my ass, Sonic.
KNUCKLES: It’s ironic that I should be thanking you for this.
JET: Pff! I ain’t doin you the favor!
TAILS: Well I am! We can’t leave them in the hands of those jerks!
SILVER: I’ll assist in destroying that Tremor Device.
ROUGE: Count me in as well! I’ve yet to formally meet these “ninjas” as the girl calls them.
BLAZE: Then it’s settled. Me, Silver, Sonic, and Rouge will deal with the Marauders. You 3 can go play hero if you want.
SONIC: Excuse me!? Who made you the leader!? And who said I was on your team!?
BLAZE: Right. I forgot I’m no longer a princess. And without authority in this case. Even so, it’s better if you assisted us as the Marauders are far more dangerous.
KNUCKLES: Lacking in confidence, are we? You and the psychic one are more than a match for the Marauders!
ROUGE: Gee, it’s almost as if I don’t exist to you!
KNUCKLES: I doubt screaming is going to be enough to win a battle.
JET: Yeah, that’s never worked out for you in the past!
ROUGE: Shut up, Jet!
TAILS: Well Sonic, it’s up to you. Who are you with?
SONIC: Great! Pressure! I don’t mind this at all! [Knuckles] -12GT [Blaze] +12GT

Depending on who you choose here, the other side will fail their mission. Either the Marauders will escape with Tremor device, or Sticks and the children are killed.

NOTE: I didn’t think of a sequence for Blaze’s route as I had a set path in mind, and just came up with this little number on the fly. Basically, you do either the daytime or nighttime version of Shamar depending on who you chose to help.

So lets do Knuckles because you all know I would anyway!

*Shamar*

A little CGI scene would play here where in the day, Erazor Djinn would be sitting on his makeshift throne, with “Shara” leashed to said throne like a dog. His men open the doors and pull in the cages of Sticks and the children. Djinn smiles and stands up.

DJINN: Excellent! Not only have you brought potential work, you’ve even captured their little pet Mobian!

He walks to the cage and sticks a single finger through the bars. Sticks then tries to bite him, but Djinn immediately grabs her face and squeezes her! She claws at his arm as the kids scream and cry in horror.

DJINN: *laughs* Seems like you caught a feisty one! I wonder what powers you possess! Perhaps we’ll see when I squeeze the blood from your face!

*BOOM!*

Djinn drops Sticks who reels in pain as she holds her face. The kids surround and comfort her.

DJINN: What was that!?
RAIDER: An explosion!?
DJINN: Find it, and put whoever caused it out of his misery!
RAIDER: What about them!?
DJINN: Take them into the cargo area. I don’t want their stench to sink into the room!

Outside of that, Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Jet are in town.

JET: Wait for it….

Some Raiders with guns leave a particular compound.

JET: Good!
SONIC: How’d you know that would work!?
JET: Please! I’ve been on the wrong side of the law. One thing I’ve learned is that bandits and outlaws tend to take over certain areas and charge protection fees. So they’re obligated to protect a village or a neighborhood, etc!
SONIC: Extortion!
JET: Oh yeah!
KNUCKLES: We’re wasting time! Let us make haste!
JET: Yeah yeah.

*Djinn’s palace*

This is a bit of a stealth mission. I’m aware the world hates them, but compared to fetch quests and puzzles, this ain’t shit. 😛 Anywho, 3D hub, and you’re playing as Jet. And… you have the ability to kill the guards. You know how it is. Walk up behind them undetected, press a button and then BAM! In this case, Jet slits their throats. Or is that too extreme? Ah hell, I’ve had Shadow tossing spears into people…
Anywho, you have to make your way into the cargo area of the palace. Though you also have the option of finding the dungeon to speak to prisoners about who the Seven Rings are and how they came to be. You can also free Shara from being chained to Djinn’s throne which would give Jet a new Action Trigger (Type J Extreme Gear which is basically Jet riding on a board as he thrashes through enemies).

But, in the Cargo area, the gang finds the kids in cages.

TAILS: There they are!
JET: Wow. This is actually pretty disturbing. Why would humans lock up other humans like this?
SONIC: Who knows? Lets just get them out of there!

They start unlocking the cages.

KNUCKLES: Everything is going to be fine! Just keep your voices down! Sticks? Are you alright?

The poor girl was still holding her face .

KNUCKLES: ….What did they do to you!?

One of the kids visually demonstrates by grabbing his own face.

KNUCKLES: On a mere child!? Have they no shame!?
SONIC: Lets try not to pick a fight with all these kids, Knux!
TAILS: But… how are we gonna escape without being noticed!? There’s too many of them!
SONIC: Yeah, you’re right! They’re bound to notice something!
JET: Yo! Dummies!

They all look at Jet.

JET: We could just use these!

Jet had found 2 trucks in the Cargo area.

JET: I can drive one of them! Who’s got the other one?
TAILS: I do!
JET: You, little man?
TAILS: Hey, I can drive as well as I can fly!
JET: Nah, you’d probably get these damn kids killed!
SONIC: Have a little faith, Jet! He might surprise you!
KNUCKLES: I certainly hope her does!
JET: Hold on, we not have enough room for all of us! They took a lot of them.
SONIC: No sweat! I prefer the exercise!
JET: …… Right.

The next zone is…. well I’d like to call it “Arid Storm” rather than Arid Sands since sand is commonly dry anyway.

It’s a mach speed zone whereby Jet and Tails are driving the children out of the city and into the deserts. It starts mildly enough with Tails and Jet BURSTING through the goddamn walls and blazing down the streets! Eventually, Raiders on dirt bikes with turrets would start rolling down the streets with you, and ramming into them kills them. It’s when you get into the desert portions that you start running into All Terrain jeeps with Raiders and rocket launchers that the place becomes chaotic. You know the segment in that vid with the explosions and the collapsing pillars? Yeah, that’s what I’d want. Give that feeling of total chaos in the desert. And then be accused of insensitivity for “trying to make an allusion to the war on terror”, or possibly referencing that reviewer that said middle-easterners were used to that shit.

After the chaos, Tails and Jet stop short of a large cliff at the edge of the desert!

TAILS: OH
JET: (bleep)!

Good thing those tires were built for sand, right? 😛 Sonic catches up to them!

SONIC: *whistles* “Hanging on the edge of tomorrow!”
TAILS: Seriously, Sonic!?
SONIC: What can I say!? it was one of our greatest hits!
TAILS: It was your ONLY hit!
KNUCKLES: Are you all alright?

They all shake their heads.

KNUCKLES: Now what are we going to do!?
SONIC: No sweat, Knuckles! Amy gave us some Waystones!
TAILS, KNUCKLES, & JET: SHE WHAT!?!
JET: Are you kidding me right now!? We drove halfway across the (bleep)ing desert, with rockets and (bleep) flying at us, and you had waystones this entire time!?!? I’m gonna kill you!!!
KNUCKLES: Explain yourself right this instant!!!!
TAILS: What’s the big idea, Sonic!?
SONIC: Hold on, guys! There’s a perfectly good reason I kept that from you!

Another jeep pulls up their location. And who should step out of the car other than Erazor Djinn himself?

DJINN: Well now, What do we have here? 4 brand new Mobians… who stormed my palace, stolen my slaves, and killed all my men. All so you can be trapped at the edge of the desert! You didn’t think this plan out very well at all, did you?
SONIC: On the contrary! There’s 4 of us… and only one of you!
KNUCKLES: So you wanted to face him all along!?
SONIC: No point in leaving him alive. He’ll just attack Mazuri again! We take him out now, that nightmare ends!
JET: You better have a damn good reason for keeping that plan from us, Sonic!
DJINN: *evil laughs* Is that what this is about!? You 4 trying to play the heroes!? You know how many Mobians I’ve killed in my lifetime? What makes you 4 think this will end any differently?
KNUCKLES: We will not fall to one who enslaves children!
DJINN: Spare me the morality! Those brats have no future anyway! They were designated as the world’s doormat, giving me every right to chain any number of them as I please! At least they’ll be put to good use!
KNUCKLES: You devil!
JET: ……..Alright. That’s reason enough!
SONIC: Figured you’d see things my way!
DJINN: THen come! Get buried with the other victims that have tried!

Djinn crosses his arms before shortly spreading them, conjuring a burst of flame all around him!

DJINN: Get ready to die!

BOSS TIME! Erazor Djinn is a wannabe MMX1 Sigma. He sports a scimitar (a real one, not that oversized razor blade with the impractical hilt) and is largely a close range fighter. Often charging at you with reckless abandon. When he’s standing still, he’ll block anything, you know how that shit works by now. Anywho, everytime you damage him by a significant amount, you have a short scene of each other characters doing a heavy hit on him. Sonic doing a massive roundhouse, Tails shooting his Ring Lasers, Knuckles delivering a massive blow to his stomach, and Jet knocking Djinn into the air before driving him into the ground. The 5th scene having Sonic granting the others a portion of his kinetic energy and doing that… Double Boost finisher from Forces… or in this case a…. “Quad Boost”… or something.

After that, Djinn is on the ground, gasping for air.

DJINN: Who… the hell… are you!?
SONIC: Well, most people call me Sonic, others call me Needlemouse, some might even call me a blank slate. You.. can call me-
TAILS: Talkative!
SONIC: >_>
KNUCKLES: For a so-called “Meta Human”, your strength is comparable to that of a mere weed! I had expected more!
DJINN: You think you’re better than me!? One on one, none of you would stand a chance! I’m more powerful than any other human on Earth! I’ve killed Mobians twice your size!
SONIC: Yeah, so we’ve heard!
DJINN: ….I’m not going out like this!!!

Djinn then pulls out a gun….. but then, the 3 children that Knuckles gave boxing lessons to jump out of the jeep and deliver straight punches to his abdomen!

DJINN: GRAACK!

Oddly enough, that was enough to knock him out cold!

KNUCKLES: HAHA!!! That is the way, children!!!
TAILS: Wow. He got beat by 5 year olds!
JET: He ain’t even worth the time we wasted.

Knuckles and the 3 cross their arms and have themselves a festive laugh!

SONIC: Did I miss something?
TAILS: I think he has his own fanbase now!
JET: Eh, kids have low standards. They’ll learn to love us in the future! Alright, lets dump this bastard over the cliff and get the hell out of here!

Jet goes to Djinn’s unconscious body. But then he turns his attention to the truck he rolled in.

JET: Eh, might have some salvage in here somewhere!
SONIC: Don’t take too long being greedy!

He looks inside… and finds a case with vials of purple liquid within.

JET: …..What the hell is this? Yo, little man! Get over here!
TAILS: *Walks* What?
JET: What do you make of this?
TAILS: ……….Do these belong to him!?
JET: Ain’t they in his van?
TAILS: Hmm. Well, I’m not a chemist. We could give them to Marine back in Babylon so she can analyze them. Given that Djinn’s complexion is the same as these chemicals, they might’ve been giving him these powers.
JET: Would make sense.

*Savannah Village*

As the villagers continue cleaning up their home, they’re greeted by laughter and cheering.

GWEK: What is that!?
KWAMI: It sounds like children!

They look off into the distance to find the Mazurian Children running back to them, followed by Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Jet, and Sticks, all smiling and waving at them.

Later, Kwami has them in his hut.

KWAMI: I… I don’t know how to repay you for your bravery. The children are safe, the Seven Rings have been destroyed, and stability has returned to the village!
GWEK: One day, the Echidna returns, and the next, he saves the future generation from certain doom! And just the other day, you said you had nothing to offer us!
KNUCKLES: You are correct. I did lack the perception of my own strengths in regard to your world. But if even the tiniest contribution can lead to one’s growth, then it should not be discounted! That said, I must comment on one thing!
GWEK: Then speak, child.
KNUCKLES: Both of you are correct in how you must develop this world!
GWEK & KWAMI: Huh!?
KNUCKLES: It is both good to preserve your history to give yourself a sense of identity, but it is also good to grow as a people and as nation! What you need is the find the right balance! Tradition is good so long as it does not hinder you or hold you back! And evolution is good so long as you do not forget who you are!
GWEK: ………Hmm.
KWAMI: …You know, that is a good point! This land is certainly beautiful. And it would be a shame if it were to be wiped out to make way for factories.
GWEK: Even so, if we had the proper means to defend ourselves, the children would never have been kidnapped!
KWAMI: Hmph. Just as your ancestors before you, you enlighten us with your wisdom.
KNUCKLES: Er… it was merely advice.
GWEK: One that us stubborn folk should heed!
KWAMI: …..I suppose you are leaving us, now?
KNUCKLES: I’m afraid so. I am needed in other parts of the world.
GWEK: Then take this.

Gwek gives Knuckles the Solar Tablet from Unleashed.

KNUCKLES: This looks… important. Are you sure you wish for me to have it?
GWEK: It was an artifact forged eons ago by the ancient Echidna. We’ve protected it from pirates in the hopes that they would return to us! And well, seeing as you are here, it is best that you take it for your travels.
KNUCKLES: ….Then I thank you. I shall cherish it always.
SONIC: Hey!

They all look at Sonic, Tails, and Jet.

SONIC: Don’t we get any souvenirs?
JET: We did some of the heavy lifting too, yah know!
KWAMI: …Who is that bird?
JET: Oh screw it. I’m out of here!

Jet leaves.

*Mazuri Fields*

The gang all leaves for an extraction pod.

KNUCKLES: Hmm.
JET: What makes him so special that he gets a toy!?
SONIC: Might be the matching accent.
KNUCKLES: It is not a toy! It is a tablet made by the Echidna of this world!
JET: So why are you taking it? You ain’t from this world!
TAILS: Can’t you just let him have this one victory, Jet? We did come from a dimension that hated his guts for being an Echidna. So maybe it’s healthy to be in a world that actually likes you for being an Echidna!
KNUCKLES: To be honest, I’m not used to such reverence! It’s not… comfortable!
JET: You want to piss people off? Gee, I never knew!

Just then, Sticks had followed them out.

KNUCKLES: Sticks!? What are you doing all the way out here!?
JET: “Sticks”!? The hell kind of name is that!?
SONIC: Don’t ask.

She grabs Knuckles’s arm and hands him a bladed Boomerang!

KNUCKLES: What is… a weapon?
SONIC: Oh she made you a boomerang! With… knives.
JET: Wait… he gets ANOTHER damn prize!? The writer must be jacking off to this guy again!
TAILS: That is a little unfair. We didn’t get anything!

Then Sticks walks up to the other 3… and hands them stick figures of themselves!

SONIC: Hey! We got …. twig… men…. >_>….. That’s something, right!?
TAILS: Uh… thanks?
JET: ……….
KNUCKLES: Thank you for your generosity, Sticks.
STICKS: Yack!
KNUCKLES: Yack… to you… too! Till we meet again!
STICKS: Yari!!

Jet throws his twigman away as they walk off into the distance.

MESSAGE: Knuckles has gained a new Action Trigger! Press X/Triangle to slice through multiple enemies with a bladed boomerang!

MESSAGE: Jet has gained a new Action Trigger! Press X/Triangle to dash through enemies while riding Extreme Gear!

*GUN Helicarrier*

Sonic returns alone to speak with Tower

>If GT is above 50<
TOWER: Look Sonic, we might be on good terms, but doesn’t mean you can take matters into your hands!
>If GT is below 50<
I think you enjoy pissing me off! You and Speed are both becoming a pain in my ass!

SONIC: Well maybe you should refresh your memory! I don’t work for you! And I’m not letting kids die because of mission importance!
TOWER: Piece of advice! Don’t let your emotions cloud your judgement! The Seven Rings were created in response to the Desert Contra! Another terrorist group is going to rise up! And possibly many more! Know why? Because the one power that kept them all in check was forcibly removed! Now Shamar is going to be unstable again, and it’s all your doing!
SONIC: Shift the blame all you want, but I’m not about to take the heat over a gang that you created!
TOWER: Boy, you’re about to cross some lines! I suggest you shut it!
SONIC: Just give me a status update on Blaze’s team.
TOWER: *sighs* They managed to clear out the Marauders there, but they still have the Tremor Device. And without a clue as to where they’re taking it, we can’t make any precise moves. We still have no idea what the Marauders are planning, or how they got a hold of the Tremor Device in the first place. Perhaps they might’ve had more success if you were on the team.
SONIC: I think you’re giving me too much credit.
TOWER: Maybe I am. But considering she failed, there’s a damn good reason for it! In either case, everyone seems to be failing at their jobs. Robotnik’s team couldn’t find another Marauder base, and Speed and Topaz were injured while raiding one they found in Odenbori.
SONIC: So you want us to help them out?
TOWER: No. They were successful even if it did cause them some discomfort. At the moment, we have nothing on hand. So just… beat it.
SONIC: …..Pff, fine.

*Sky Babylon*

Knuckles stares at the Solar Tablet he had received from Gwek. As he does, Rouge flies down.

ROUGE: Awwww Knuckles, if you were taking souvenirs, you should’ve been a darling and gotten me one!
KNUCKLES: This is a sacred treasure from the village elder! He wouldn’t just give this to anyone!
ROUGE: That’s not what we saw! One of those Marauders also had something similar. Except hers was blue!
KNUCKLES: Really? I suppose that makes sense.
ROUGE: What!? And why would the Mazurians give one to those creeps!?
KNUCKLES: ………Rouge…. me and Tikal…. we’re not the only ones left in the world! The Marauders…. they’re Echidna like me!
ROUGE: Come again!?
KNUCKLES: While destroying the Marauder hideout in Mazuri, I discovered her without her helmet! Dreads like my own, and possessing the most luminous eyes!
ROUGE: *crosses arms* Hmph! Well that’s the first time you’ve shown an interest in another woman!
KNUCKLES: As she is one of my own, it is only natural! I don’t think I’ve ever been so elated in my life! To know we’re not the only ones in existence!
ROUGE: ………..Knuckles….. you know they’re our enemies, right?
KNUCKLES: I’m aware of that. But that doesn’t mean we can’t save them as well! Elder Gwek spoke so highly of us. Perhaps they have been misled into a life of terrorism!
ROUGE: Was Robotnik misled!?
KNUCKLES: *sighs* I suppose you wouldn’t understand. Bats aren’t scarce in this world or on Mobius.
ROUGE: That’s not the point, Knuckles! The fact is they’re they’re evil! They leveled an entire city for God’s sake!
KNUCKLES: I know that! But if a thief such as you could be reformed, and a Babylonian brought onto the side of justice, then they are not a lost cause! I just have to know what they’re planning!

Knuckles then leaves while Rouge shakes her head.

Back in the hub, everyone talks about random shit. You’ll notice that Sonic isn’t even in the room. You’ll have to go outside just to find him.

So go outside. Elise finds Sonic lying down on the grass.

ELISE: Relaxing?
SONIC: Yeah. We’ve had a few rough days. You wouldn’t believe how crazy this world is!
ELISE: I do!
SONIC: So you heard about how everything went down?
ELISE: Everyone gets uncomfortable when it comes to Mazuri and Shamar. No one ever tells me why, though.
SONIC: Could be an age thing. What we saw down there was enough to drive anyone nuts!
ELISE: Hmm. Hey, did you see what Knuckles got!?
SONIC: Yeah, I know.
ELISE: My Dad said he tried to go down to Mazuri to find a trinket, and they beat him up for it! It’s pretty cool that they gave him that thing! I think he called it a Solar Tablet! He must’ve done something to really impress them!
SONIC: Yeah, he’s pretty cool.
ELISE: …….Hey, you’re not jealous, are you!?
SONIC: What!? Me!? Jealous of Knuckles!? Yeah right! ……Of course not…. maybe not.
ELISE: What’s the matter, Sonic?
SONIC: Eh…*sighs* I thought I was over it from the last game, but jeez. I mean, you’re a princess, so you wouldn’t understand. But… you ever feel like you’re no one special?
ELISE: Mmm… no?
SONIC: So like I said. You wouldn’t get it!
ELISE: Just tell me!
SONIC: ………..Knuckles is a Guardian with a mysterious heritage, Jet is a tribal Chieftain with his own personal army, Amy is a famous singer and magician, Rouge is a talented thief, Tails is a child genius, Marine is…. Marine, Silver was a captain of the guard, and Blaze was a former princess.
ELISE: Ok?
SONIC: They all have these special roles to fulfill, either because of heritage or otherwise. And more often than not, they succeed. There was another guy, Montana Hare, who used to be an Orphan like me, Mighty, and Ray, and even though I hated his guts, he managed to run a business, and do a damn good job of it. Me? I’m… honestly nobody special.
ELISE: What makes you say that!?
SONIC: Its the truth. There’s a lot of things I’ve tried to do and be. Mostly being an athlete and a rockstar. Neither of which really panned out.
ELISE: You’re a hero! Isn’t that enough?
SONIC: Sure, every once in a while. But what about in between? I’m basically a deadbeat orphan with no real future. If I’m being honest, I’m terrified of going back home. At least at the moment, I can pretend to have some importance, but really, once this is all over… what then? I’ll be back to waiting for the next “gig”, so to speak.
ELISE: Wow. I never thought you’d be the insecure one! You seem so confident and adventurous, but now you’re just…. depressing!
SONIC: Yeah well, appearances can be deceiving.
ELISE: ….Don’t give up on yourself, Sonic! You may not think it, but you’re special to everyone you run into!
SONIC: Hmm…. maybe.
ELISE: …..You’re special to me!
SONIC: -_-

Back inside, Tails and Marine were analyzing the vials they found in Shamar.

JET: Anything yet?
TAILS: Just hold your horses! Marine’s working as fast as she can!

Amy walks over.

AMY: What’s going on, guys?
JET: We found some weird chemical in Shamar while dealing with that freaky human! It might be same stuff that gave him super powers!
AMY: Why don’t we tell GUN about this?
JET: Sure! And let them use it for their own purposes! I thought you smarter than that!
MARINE: Got it! I found traces of… ewww! Lets see, Raccoon blood, Hedgehog blood, Bat blood, Horse blood, Croc blood….and all of these were bipedal.
TAILS: Whoa, you’re not saying…. this is Mobian blood!?
AMY: *gasps*
MARINE: Mmmm… yep, it’s Mobian blood! I think it that desert bandit was kidnapping Mobians, killing them, possibly harvesting their organs and blood to create an ooze to juice him up on!
AMY: Do you have to be so descriptive of the process!?
JET: Why sugar coat it!? He’s been killing Mobians to give himself a power boost!
AMY: That’s sick!
TAILS: Marine, are you able to trace this back to a manufacturer of some kind?
JET: What are you, stupid!? Erazor Djinn was making this in his own backyard!
TAILS: Are “you” stupid!? We’ve been throughout that entire palace, and we found no lab of any kind! Plus, I don’t think you can make a serum like this without knowing if there are any drawbacks!
MARINE: Afterall, exchange of fluids between humans and Mobians are extremely dangerous as they both cause incurable diseases! That is why blood transfusions are strictly prohibited! So him being able to take Mobian blood into his system without dying takes a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT of scientific knowledge, and the Seven Rings were never the sharpest tools in the bunch! Even though they had a lot of sharp tools!
TAILS: So going back to my question-
MARINE: DONE! Golden Trading Company!
AMY: Who are they?
MARINE: The ones who manufactured the serum!
AMY: I meant…. “who” are they?
MARINE: …………Simple! I haven’t the faintest clue!
AMY: >_>
TAILS: I guess we should ask GUN about it.
JET: I got a better idea! How about we don’t!?
AMY: But then what’s the point of studying this stuff, Jet!?
JET: I’m not saying we don’t investigate this any further, I’m just saying we should find someone else to get answers from!
AMY: Like who?
JET: ……..Robotnik.
TAILS: What!? Why him!?
JET: Easy. He doesn’t trust GUN anymore than I do! And he hates Mobians so much that he’d be willing to shut this operation down. You’d think he would be down for humans using Mobian DNA to empower themselves?
TAILS: If he could find a use out of it, yes!
MARINE: Got him on vidcom!
TAILS: Marine, no!!!

Marine pulled out a tablet phone, and who should answer but Bomb!?

BOMB: HELLO! Now who….. aw (bleep), it’s you.
MARINE: Hi Bomb! Nice to see you’re functioning again! Where’s my big fat besty, Eggo?
BOMB: Don’t worry, Marine, he’s just around the corner! HEY DOC! THAT CRAZY (bleep)CH IS ON VIDCOM!!!

Robotnik is then on-screen.

ROBOTNIK: And just HOW did you get this number!?
MARINE: That’s a raccoon trade secret! Can you tell us about the Golden Trading Company?
ROBOTNIK: What is this about? And why can’t you inquire from those fools in GUN?
AMY: Or Rouge? She’s been around the block!
ROBOTNIK: You!? I’d rather you not insult me by consulting me for information!
JET: Hurts us more than hurts you, fat boy, but for now, you’re the lesser of 2 evils!
ROBOTNIK: Jet the Hawk? Now this is interesting! Someone as stubborn as you wouldn’t be so eager to work alongside me again.
MARINE: Yeah ok! So anyway, we found strange juice in Shamar!
JET: You didn’t find anything!
TAILS: We found an experimental drug being used by the leader of the Seven Rings.
ROBOTNIK: You fought with the Seven Rings!? You fools! This isn’t your world to play the hero!
AMY: Well Mobius wasn’t your world to play the villain!
ROBOTNIK: *groans* ……..What exactly did you find?
TAILS: I think it’s a sort of steroid that gives humans super powers.
ROBOTNIK: That would explain why Djinn exhibited such strange abilities. Did you analyze the contents?
TAILS: They were harvesting Mobians for their DNA. And used several components to make it safe.
ROBOTNIK: Harvesting their…. this sounds like….. who did you say was connected to it!?
MARINE: The Golden Trading Company!
AMY: What do you know about them?
ROBOTNIK: They operate in the UF, and were originally a subsidiary of Thorndyke industries! They should’ve been shut down when the family perished!
JET: So I take it that’s our next vacation spot? Afterall, there’s supposed to be a Marauder hideout there as well!
ROBOTNIK: A convenient Alibi should GUN get suspicious. Heavy, Bomb, keep things under control! I’m going to take a little trip!
BOMB: Awww, I wanna go!

He hangs up.

*Empire City.

The gang arrives to the Capital of the United Federation (in this series. Central City wouldn’t exist). Sonic, Amy, and Marine all hit the streets below in search of leads for the Golden Trading Company.

AMY: This place is almost as big as Gigapolis!
MARINE: The largest city in the whole world.
SONIC: Which means our job gets a lot harder. I hope the rest of them have more luck gathering Intel.
AMY: Sonic. I don’t think we should’ve left Elise on Babylon!
SONIC: Relax, Amy! It’s not like she’s alone or anything! It’s practically a colony up there!
MARINE: And she’s got plenty of food!
SONIC: ……..Oh crap! I forgot to stock up on human food!
AMY: See?
MARINE: No worries! Those koalas are there to feed her!
AMY: And just how, Marine?
MARINE: Well, you just take any kind of weapon, kill them with it, and then shove a stick up their-
SONIC: THANKS… for your… advice, Marine.
AMY: Didn’t you say that was dangerous for humans anyway?
MARINE: Well Djinny boy found a way for it to work!
SONIC: And we’re here to find out how!

Empire City is different from previous hubs for it would have 5 different areas to traverse.
“Central Avenue”, where you begin, which is the main industrial sector of the city, having it’s own variation of Time Square, as well as being the location of the White House. It also has the “Battle Highway Stadium” which will come into play later.
“Brocklon” would be the city’s ghetto which is overrun with gangs fighting each other for control of the district.
“Tiara” which is the residential area for upper class families where all the good schools and museums exist. It also the “Night Babylon” sector, an underground gambling ring which you can earn (or lose) rings in.
“Ridgemond” which is the main operating sector controlled by the Golden Trading Company, having controlling business in their famous Ridge Zoo.
“Emerald Town” is the coastal area that the historical landmark, the “Statue of Vassalry”, stands.

Anywho, you can’t actually go to the other areas. Anytime you try, you’ll get stopped as Checkpoints that head into Ridgemond and Tiara.

GUARD: HALT!
SONIC: What!? What now!?
GUARD: Are you a citizen of the UF!? A resident of Empire City!?
MARINE: Nope! Can’t say that we are!
AMY: Yeah, we’re tourists
GUARD: Then you will not be permitted beyond this point! Only citizens of the United Federation are allowed to roam freely! Get lost!!!
SONIC: Pff! Nice to meet you too!

After trying both exits, you get a scene.

SONIC: Well now what?
MARINE: Jump over them! You 2 can practically fly!
AMY: We know that! But we’re not trying to start an incident!
SONIC: I don’t know. Marine has a point!
AMY: Sonic, no!
SONIC: What!? Who says we gotta follow their rules!? We got a job to do!
???: I suggest you heed what your little girlfriend speaks!

They all find Robotnik standing behind them!

ROBOTNIK: Lest you wish to bring down the wrath of GUN!
SONIC: What the… what are you doing here!?
MARINE: We called him up! And DAMN was that fast!
AMY: Sorry Sonic.
ROBOTNIK: Sovereignty has become something of a hot button issue for the United Federation in the last few years. Not just anyone can get in like they used to. Now unless you’re high profile or a person of importance, your access to this state is limited! Almost like Mobius but for multiple groups! Suffice to say, you won’t be able to go where you want!
SONIC: And I suppose you’re special!?
ROBOTNIK: *smiles* I happen to be the Chief Inspector! I have special clearance! I can tell them I have an investigation pertaining to the nation of Spagonia, and they won’t stop me!
SONIC: So what are we supposed to do!? Let you do all the work and take the research for yourself!?
ROBOTNIK: My, your suspicions run wild! I suppose they’re warranted given our…. shared antipathy for one another. But I have no intention of relying on a drug created from the blood of Mobians. Why bother when I can excell with my intellect alone?
MARINE: Sooooo you gonna help us out, or are yah gonna keep bragging like you always do?
ROBOTNIK: *groans* You may be able to acquire a sort of permit from the President. Either that, or your can risk the safety of Elise. Her being the Princess of Apotos gives her special privileges. You can say that you are her body guards.
AMY: But we already told the guards we’re tourists! They won’t buy it!
ROBOTNIK: It’s still worth a shot. Though she runs the risk of being kidnapped if you’re not too careful.
SONIC: We already know there’s Marauders in the area, it’s too risky!
ROBOTNIK: Then choose your options wisely, Hedgehog! You don’t want to be known as the one that allowed the Princess to die in the hands of the enemy! *evil laugh*

And then he walks away.

AMY: He thinks that’s funny!?
SONIC: I really hate that guy.
MARINE: Well we do need to get into that area! And we aren’t getting any younger!
AMY: It’s probably safer to go to the President. We don’t know this area well enough to bring Elise along.
MARINE: But it is faster!
SONIC: Hmm…. [Go to the President] +6GT [Bring Elise] -6GT

The decision here will merely change the order of which you do things. So, lets go with the former decision where they go meet with the President.

*White House*

Inside, they see guards surrounding the place.

SONIC: Damn. If the Duke had this many guards, he wouldn’t have gotten kidnapped!

They find the secretary, “Christina Cooper”, sitting at a desk.

COOPER: How may I help you?
SONIC: Hey, they’ve got Mazurians working here!
COOPER: ……..Sir, I don’t know who you are, but you should be well aware that kind of humor isn’t…. or “shouldn’t be”, acceptable here!
SONIC: Humor!?
MARINE: Sorry lady, they’re new to the human world! They don’t know anything outside of Mobius!
COOPER: ……… I see. My apologies, then. Is there something you needed?
AMY: We’re trying to look into a specific company, but we don’t have permission to enter other areas. We were hoping that we could get some sort of permit to enter those areas.
COOPER: Do you have an appointment?
SONIC: Uhhhhh…
COOPER: One moment. *earpiece* Mr. President, you have 3 Mobi-
PRESIDENT: Not now! I’m having tea time with the minister of finance! And he is not beating my high score in Monkey Ball!
COOPER: 3 Mobians… have a concern for-
PRESIDENT: Mobians!? Send them in! Maybe they can help cream this arrogant bastard!
COOPER: *sighs* Yes sir.
AMY: He doesn’t sound too… responsible.
COOPER: Second Floor, Center Door. Keep your hands to yourself and do not touch anything without authorization. You will be roughed up if you do.
SONIC: Riiiiight. Gotcha. Thanks.

So… just head upstairs to the President’s office.

SONIC: this is a big ass office! Where’s this “minister of finance”!?
AMY: How much space does one person need?
PRESIDENT: I hope you all don’t expect me to walk over to you.

They go up to his desk.

SONIC: Well maybe you need a smaller office!

And Amy bops him on the arm.

AMY: Thank you for taking the time to speak with us! I am Amy Ro-
PRESIDENT: Spare me the details. You came to me with a problem, and my time is precious.
AMY: ;>_>
SONIC: Ooook. We need to get into an area to investigate the Golden Trading Company.
PRESIDENT: Under what agency?
SONIC: Err…
MARINE: The Chief Inspector of Spagonia!
PRESIDENT: ……..I see. And…. where is he?
SONIC: He… kinda went ahead without us because the Guards wouldn’t take our word for it.
PRESIDENT: Makes sense. I know Robotnik. He doesn’t work with Mobians unless absolutely necessary.
MARINE: He wouldn’t be on this case if I never brought it up!
PRESIDENT: Is that so? What is it that you are investigating that requires you to get into Ridgemond?
AMY: We found some sort of drug that was manufactured using Mobian remains, and traced it back to the Golden Trading Company.
PRESIDENT: That is a very serious allegation! The Golden Trading Company deals with the selling of furniture and decorations. They have no division in the manufacture of drugs or chemicals.
MARINE: Well they’re decorating humans with the blood of Mobians, that’s for sure!
PRESIDENT: And how would that even be possible? Mobian DNA is 100% fatal to humans, and vice versa. Those who would take the drug would likely die within minutes.
SONIC: That’s what we’re trying to figure out.
PRESIDENT: Well, even if I did believe you, if your boss is already investigating, then I have no reason to permit you into Ridgemond. He can handle the investigation himself.
AMY: But…
SONIC: Well, if we’re right, the old man is going to need backup! We can only assume they’ll have guns or something to deal with him!
PRESIDENT: Then we can summon GUN or our police force to assist him. You won’t be needed.
SONIC: Come on! The best thing to-
PRESIDENT: I think I’ve made myself very clear! Please, don’t make an issue of this. If you want access to the other districts, then your only option is to apply for citizenship like everyone else.
SONIC: Not that I want to, but how long would that take?
PRESIDENT: 3 months.
SONIC: 3 MONTHS!?
AMY: Calm down! Don’t shout in here!
PRESIDENT: If you’re done, I would like to get back to my session.
MARINE: Good luck with that high score!
PRESIDENT: Thanks. Ill need it!

They leave the office and head back down to Cooper.

SONIC: Can you believe that guy!?
COOPER: I’ve worked here for the last 2 years. So yes.
AMY: So what now?
SONIC: All we can do is wait for Buttnik to do all the work.

Then, Cooper dips her head down.

COOPER: *whispers* Hey! Meet me by the jumbotron tonight! I can get you in!
SONIC: Huh?
COOPER: *aloud* Enjoy the rest of your day, sir. Please don’t lounge.

They all leave

*Central Avenue*

MARINE: Well, someone’s trying to help us!
SONIC: At night, huh?
AMY: Wanna head back to Babylon and come back later? [Yes] [Not yet]

Later that night, the 3 meet up with Cooper who’s wearing an oversized trenchcoat and fedora

SONIC: A little overdressed, aren’t we?
COOPER: *sighs* I can’t let anyone know that I’m talking to you.
AMY: So what’s going on? You said you could help us?
COOPER: Yes. Even if you had a permit to move about the city, you still wouldn’t be allowed in Ridgemond. I know what the GTC is up to.
SONIC: GTC?
COOPER: Saying “Golden Trading Company” gets old. But that’s the real reason the checkpoints are all over the city. To intimidate people from trying to go into that area.
SONIC: Unless you’re high profile, right?
COOPER: No. That won’t get you in either. So your friend is likely in trouble.
SONIC: I would NOT use the term “friend”, trust me!
COOPER: Well whatever. The point is he won’t get very far without being sent to Prison Island.
AMY: Prison Island!?
SONIC: There’s more than one?!
COOPER: Oh right. GUN on both sides tend to name their facilities the same thing, don’t they?
MARINE: So what’s the plan? If permits don’t work, what then? Do we sneak in?
COOPER: That’s the worst plan you could have. Security around Ridgemond is heavier than anywhere else in the city. Even the white house isn’t that well protected.
AMY: How!? He’s the President! He should have the most security!
COOPER: Welcome the UF. It’s the corporations that control this country. The President is just a fall guy for when things go south. That being said, as I’m the one who handles all of his records, I also have to provide and approve any and all permits the people get. I can get you clearance into Ridgemond no matter what level of security!
MARINE: Sweet! Now what’s the catch!?
SONIC: Yeah, this sounds too good to be true!
COOPER: It is. And that’s what makes this next part difficult. I have a Nephew in the Brocklon District who’s having trouble dealing with the local gangs. Recently, he’s disappeared.
AMY: That really doesn’t sound good!
COOPER: I know. My sister is still in the area, you might be able to get details from her.
SONIC: Why didn’t *you* get those details?
COOPER: She won’t tell me anything. She’s… stubborn.
SONIC: It’s her kid! Why would she keep that to herself!? You’ve got the President’s ear, you at least have a means of forming an investigation!
COOPER: You did meet him this morning, right?
SONIC: Fine! We’d like to help, but with all the check points around the place, and every one telling us NOT to sneak around-
COOPER: Well, you can’t sneak around Ridgemond, but the other locations have less security. The rooftops are much less active going into Tiara and such.
SONIC: Now you’re speaking my language!
AMY: We’ll get him back!
MARINE: And hopefully you keep up your end of the bargain!
COOPER: Well, unlike the President, I at least keep my word!

They all leave…. but then Sonic comes speeding right back.

SONIC: Oh and… sorry about earlier with the whole….. “Mazurian” thing.
COOPER: It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.
SONIC: I mean it’s just…. Apotos and Spagonia didn’t have…. er… you know!
COOPER: I know, I know. I’m not angry.
SONIC: ……….Just trying not to get on yo bad si-
COOPER: *agitated* For the love of God, just go!
SONIC: Alright alright! Gone!

And he speeds off.

Next stop is “Skyscraper Scamper” …… by the balls of Ra, that is an AWFUL name for a zone! You know what? Lets just call it the “Skyline” zone! Yeah, that works!

i think some hip hop would fit Empire City to some degree, wouldn’t you agree? 😛 Hey, I rhymed!
Anywho, since you’re running across towers, you are surrounded by death if you choose not to watch your step. And once again, you’re dealing with GUN drones. This would be one of the slower paced zones where enemies aren’t completely numerous, and the only real obstacle would be your carelessness.

*Brocklon*

Afterward, the gang manages to get to the Brocklon District.

MARINE: ………Anyone got the address?
SONIC: ………..Goddammit!
AMY: Well, we could always call her back for the address.
MARINE: ………….Anyone got her number?
AMY: ………….Dammit!
SONIC: Well, we could ask for directions.
MARINE: …………Anyone know the name of-
SONIC & AMY: SHUT UP, MARINE!!
MARINE: Ok! I’ll just be in the trash cans if you need me!
AMY: What the-

And Marine is gone!

SONIC: Just… let her…. do her thing, Amy.
AMY: It’s so unsanitary!
SONIC: We need to find this kid’s home.

So you just go through the area until the next scene plays.

AMY: This place looks horrible!
SONIC: It’s like the Starlight District back home.

You might hear some gun shots along the way, but that doesn’t affect you.

SONIC: I don’t get it! Central Avenue looks so… perfect. And Tiara looks so clean. Why is this area so messed up?
AMY: Maybe they haven’t gotten around to fixing it up yet.

After some walking, Marine comes back.

MARINE: Hey, look what I found!

She shows them a rotted envelope with Cooper’s return address!

SONIC: Ugh! What the he-…. hey! This is from that secretary!
AMY: Then…. that address isn’t too far!
MARINE: When in doubt, trash it out!
SONIC: Doesn’t make sense, but not bad, Marine!

*??? House*

They ring the doorbell…. and a (fat) woman opens the door with a shotgun at ready!

SONIC: Oh crap!
MOTHER: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?
AMY: HOLD ON!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
MOTHER: You tell me, heifer!! Who goes ringing doorbells late at night!?
AMY: Is it that bad around here that you have to point that thing at us!?
MOTHER: You new here!?
AMY: Yes!!
SONIC: Your sister sent us!
MOTHER: Christy!? What happened!?
SONIC: She said it was about your kid!
MOTHER: ….Well come on in. *smells Marine* OHHH GOD!!! Girl, have you washed yo ass!?
MARINE: I went dumpster diving for your address! You’re Welcome!
MOTHER: Hell no, you stay outside! I don’t want you funking up my house!
MARINE: Relax! It doesn’t look very expensive, so a little odor won’t bring down the value!
MOTHER: I will pump you full of buckshot, b(bleep)!!
SONIC: Oooook, I can see we’re all VERY upset! Marine, just stay outside, and don’t talk to anyone!

Sonic and Amy go inside while Marine jumps into another trash can.

AMY: So …. you won’t hurt her?
MOTHER: Child, please. They don’t sell me bullets that can actually kill someone. It was just gonna pepper her up a bit.
SONIC: “Pepper”!?
MOTHER: Now what do you want with my boy!?
SONIC: Nothing! Cooper just said he was in some kind of trouble, and that he disappeared recently.
MOTHER: Yeah, that’s one way of putting it.
AMY: Can you tell us his name?
MOTHER: ….Danny. Hooo boy, I taught him better than this!
SONIC: What happened?
MOTHER: ……He was arrested. He tried going into the Ridgemond area.
AMY: Really!? Why!?
MOTHER: I don’t know. He said one of his friends was killed a month ago over some drug that was made there.

Sonic and Amy look at each other.

SONIC: So he was trying to investigate GTC!
MOTHER: Wha?
AMY: The Golden Trading Company! They’re the ones who made the drug!
MOTHER: A furniture company!?
SONIC: This drug! Was it purple? Came in a vial?
MOTHER: I don’t know! I’ve never seen the thing!
SONIC: What was it called!?
MOTHER: Hold up! Are you the damn feds!?
AMY: No, but we’re trying to get to the bottom of this ourselves!
MOTHER: Well I don’t know what you’d expect me to tell you. Danny’s the only one who’d know anything, and they put him in jail!
SONIC: What’s Prison Island like? Where is it located?
MOTHER: It’s off the coast of Emerald Town. You’d have to take a ferry to get there. Wait, you came to get my boy out of there!?
SONIC: If that’s what it takes!
MOTHER: Oh… oh thank you!

She then hugs Sonic tightly, cutting off his air supply.

SONIC: *chokes*
MOTHER: You don’t know how much this means to me!!!
AMY: Um… miss? You’re… you’re choking him!
MOTHER: Oh!

*Brocklon*

SONIC: Cooper mentioned that Prison Island was ran by GUN, right?
AMY: Yeah. So if we broke in, we’d be opposing the GUN Commander.
MARINE: Oh well! Not like he’s our favorite guy or anything!
SONIC: We just need to get int without pissing em off. Question is… how.
???: Sounds like you’re over thinking things, hun!

They all look up to see Rouge sitting in a tree.

AMY: Rouge!? Why are you here!?
MARINE: Yeah! You could’ve flown into Ridgemond by yourself!
ROUGE: Yes, well, I didn’t count on gun turrets that were littered around the building. Someone really doesn’t want us getting in there!
SONIC: So we’ve noticed! Did you learn anything new?
ROUGE: Only that I should start wearing something more bulletproof than normal.
AMY: Or just reserved!
SONIC: Well it’s a good thing you showed up, Rouge! We might have someone in Prison Island that knows something about GTC. And you’re good at getting into places without a peep, right?
ROUGE: Why of course! So long as you don’t expect me to do all the work!

*Emerald Town*

You’ll automatically be taken here. Just catch the ferry to Prison Island.

ROUGE: Not to give that little girl the wrong impression, but only the 2 of us should go in.
SONIC: Gee, I wonder why!
ROUGE: A large group is easily disorganized. That, and Marine isn’t what I’d call subtle. Or mentally stable. And you at least listen to people when you need to.
SONIC: You think Amy won’t?
ROUGE: If you couldn’t tell, we don’t exactly get along!
SONIC: Fine, as long as we get this guy out. And as long as you don’t try to hit on me. ^_^
ROUGE: Hmph! Don’t worry about a thing! Both of those tasks won’t be a problem!

They take the ferry over to Prison Island. Making the next stop “Security Hall”. Now, you’ve got 2 Acts here, the first one doesn’t have enemies but rather you’re dealing with traps, spotlights that summon turrets, and that Scarab Robot from the Egg Quarters Zone from SA2. You know, green lights, hide, get spotted, get raped by instant lasers? Yeah, that bitch. Same rules would apply except I’d have the lighting change different colors depending on how close it is to you. Green being the farthest, Yellow being midrange, and Red being too damn close! Probably have the music from Egg Quarters here too, for the moment.
The whole time, despite everything you have to avoid, Rouge tries to annoy Sonic with his personal life.

ROUGE: By the way, I couldn’t help but over hear that little conversation you had with the cute little Princess.
SONIC: Figures that you’re a spy too.
ROUGE: While I’m flattered you think I’m a “talented thief”, I do pity you. Feeling so unimportant compared to the rest of us must really rub you the wrong way!
SONIC: How about we focus, eh Rouge?
ROUGE: Don’t take it so personally! I thought the same thing when I got stuck with you all back in Soleanna.
SONIC: How so!?
ROUGE: A thief surrounded by what could be considered “heroes and warriors”. These “bastions of righteousness”? Not so difficult to feel out of place.
SONIC: Huh. Guess I never thought about that. How do you get over that feeling?
ROUGE: It’s easy when someone asks you to help them sneak into a place. It lets you know that you have a certain… value that the others lack. It’s a liberating feeling.
SONIC: Who asked you to sneak into where?
ROUGE: A certain little Red Echidna.
SONIC: Oh! That explains the mouth to mouth action!
ROUGE: Bring that up again, and I’ll show you the value of these heels!
SONIC: Touchy subject?
ROUGE: Very!

SONIC: So what exactly would I bring to the table compared to everyone else? I’d say I’m a decent fighter, but so are Blaze, Jet, and Knuckles. Mighty’s halfway decent too.
ROUGE: I’d say it’s an open mind!
SONIC: ……..Is that it?
ROUGE: When you’re dealing with a lot of egos, it certainly helps. Everyone has those “important roles” as you say, but since you “think” you don’t, it does give you a fresh perspective. You can see the big picture when no one else can. And you act as a sort of mediator when 2 or more sides get into a beef. You’re more of a leader trying to keep the peace with the talented and big headed.
SONIC: Wouldn’t Silver count?
ROUGE: I suppose. He just lacks a little backbone. Part of his upbringing, I guess. Hathor knew how to work you Hedgehogs over.
SONIC: Wait, how’d you-
ROUGE: It’s not that hard to figure out. No one else would be as vindictive as her! And why would you let her get to you? She was psychotic! Would kill to get what she wants, and was a lousy parent all the same! Hardly worth getting worked up over! If I can say one thing about Ray, he actually has thicker skin!
SONIC: That’s cold!
ROUGE: The truth hurts, hon.

ROUGE: And if you want my honest opinion, it just sounds like you need a girlfriend!
SONIC: Making offers, are we?
ROUGE: Don’t flatter yourself! I have some higher sta-
SONIC: You’re gonna leave yourself wide open for that touchy subject!
ROUGE: Hmph! Well, if there’s one thing i can say about Knuckles, he sees me for more than an hourglass figure!
SONIC: Yeah, a useful thief!
ROUGE: *groans*
SONIC: *chuckles* But yeah, sorry about all that from before.
ROUGE: Oh I’m never offended by the admiration! It’s just… a nice change of pace, that’s all.
SONIC: So you DO dig him!
ROUGE: Shut up, Sonic!

ROUGE: I would’ve assumed you and Amy were a thing.
SONIC: Well, you wouldn’t be the first. Lemme guess! 2 Hedgehogs and that means something?
ROUGE: Not quite. The hand holding on the way to the Ark was more of a giveaway.
SONIC: That was to calm her down! She was nervous!
ROUGE: And you’re the only one who cared! How sweet of you!
SONIC: Jealous, are we? Can’t blame yah! Plenty of gals wanna hold hands with me!
ROUGE: Ulg! And I thought Ray was delirious!

SONIC: Where is this guy!?
ROUGE: You didn’t bother to get that info before coming here?
SONIC: You’d think one of these computers would have that info.
ROUGE: Maybe you don’t know where to look!
SONIC: Isn’t that why you’re here? Why aren’t you looking!?
ROUGE: You didn’t exactly specify who we’re looking for.
SONIC: And yet you tagged along anyway. A guy named “Danny”. I assume his last name is Cooper.
ROUGE: Thanks. Now lets see what I can do!

At the end of the act, Sonic and Rouge find a computer terminal where she pokes around for info.

ROUGE: Yep! Danny Cooper. Cell Block D4. Wait a minute…. this can’t be right!
SONIC: What?
ROUGE: It says here that Danny is only 11 years old!
SONIC: What!? They lock up kids!?
ROUGE: I knew the UF has a bad habit of putting anyone they can find into a jail cell, but this is inhumane!
SONIC: Where’s D4!? We need to get him out of here, now!
ROUGE: You don’t have to tell me twice!

They both rush to Cell Block D4 and find Danny Cooper himself, scraping scribbles on the floor.

SONIC: *whispers* Pss! Hey! You Danny Cooper!?
DANNY: *looks up* Huh!? Mobians!? Who are you!?
ROUGE: We’re the ones getting you out of here!

Rouge takes a keycard and unlocks his cell.

DANNY: Whoa, wait, they’re releasing me!?
SONIC: No. WE are! Come on! There’s no way you’re staying here!
DANNY: But you don’t even know me! And…. you’ll get in trouble for this!
SONIC: We’re used to it! You wanna see your mother again or not!?
DANNY: ….. Yeah?
SONIC: Then come on! We’ll deal with the aftermath!

*BOOM*

DANNY: WHOA!
ROUGE: What was that!?

The roof of the building had been blown up! And several Marauders start to pour in!

SPEAKER: Emergency! Emergency! Security Breach in progress. All personal, prepare for contingency! Emergency! Emergency!
SONIC: Damn! Now!?

All the cell doors start to pop open, and the not so innocent prison population gets loose!

DANNY: Yo, what do we do now!?
ROUGE: Sonic, did you bring any Waystones!?
SONIC: Ergh… no! I didn’t think we’d need them! We got get the kid out of here! Would’ve been such a good opportunity to take down the Marauders too!
ROUGE: We can do that another day! Lets just escape now while we still can!

Act 2 is faster paced, and enemies abound! Probably have the music from that Death Egg Avatar Stage in Forces. You’ve got inmates and Marauders to deal. The Inmates have nothing pipes and rocks to attack you with, while the Marauders have their regular attacks. You start off indoors until you work your way outside, and you find Marauder ships raining down fire on Prison Island! Just continue on and avoid cannon fire as you make your way to the goal ring.

Afterward:

DANNY: I was probably safer in my cell!
ROUGE: Well, you can always go back into it!

An explosion occurs in front of them!

DANNY: OH!!
SONIC: This is bad! Danny, you need to find a spot to hide! We’re not going anywhere anytime soon!
DANNY: Oh.. ok!!!

Danny gets inside of a vent and stays there.

SONIC: Why are the Marauders attacking this place!?

Robotnik steps out of the Shadows.

ROBOTNIK: Because of me!
SONIC: Buttnik!?
ROUGE: What are you doing here!?
SONIC: Oh I get it! Those “special privileges” were revoked!
ROBOTNIK: So it would seem! GTC is hiding something sinister if they’re going this far to break the law!
ROUGE: Big Business writes the laws in the UF, Doctor! I thought you knew that!
ROBOTNIK: These laws were written by the Unity Guild of Nations! They have to abide by it regardless of circumstances! This is a violation of international law!
???: As if you respect the law, Dr. Robotnik!

They turn to find Shade (with mask on!) and 3 other men with cannons at the ready!

SHADE: As the murderer of the former Chief Inspector, you have no right to challenge others on what is righteous and ethical!
SONIC: I knew it! A creep like you couldn’t have gotten that title fairly!
ROBOTNIK: Quiet, you!
SHADE: No need to let an opportunity like this slip from our fingers!
ROBOTNIK: Far be it from me to look at your attempts on my life as anything but the sincerest form of flattery, but your piddly vengeance will cost you your life in the end
SHADE: Your bravado is as empty as your tact! You have no toys to combat us with, and your minions are not loyal to you!
SONIC: Yeah, cause we’re not HIS minions!
SHADE: Leave now! This fight is between me and him!
SONIC: Sure thing! But uh…. say Buttnik, you can still turn into a robot, right?
ROBOTNIK: The device I use for such a purpose was destroyed!
SONIC: So… you’ve got nothing!?
ROBOTNIK: So slow to catch on!
SONIC: Riiiiight! See, that’s not really a fair fight! You probably have all these Ninja skills, you got a bo-staff that can shock people…. and you’re gonna beat up a middle-aged fat guy!? Can you say “mismatch”!?
ROBOTNIK: Your hypocrisy knows no bounds.
SHADE: Revenge isn’t about fairness! You think I’m going to wait for him to gain the advantage over me!?
ROUGE: We don’t see you making any moves now! So what are you waiting for!?
SHADE: “You” to get dressed! Or does GUN really let you wh*re around in that outfit!?

Angered, Rouge does a Sonic Scream at Shade, but she easily evades the blast!

So a short boss fight here. Shade has the same attacks as before in Radical Train, just with more intensity. Bitch would spam attacks more often than last time.

Afterward, there’s no clear advantage between the 3. Shade holds her own.

SONIC: I thought Blaze said she was easy!?
SHADE: 2 on 1, and you think this is a fair fight? At least you’re the ones breaking a sweat!
SONIC: She’s got jokes, too!

Shade rushes in for another attack… but then, Imperator Ix descends onto the facility in front of her!

SONIC: Huh?
ROBOTNIK: Who is this!?
SHADE: Imperator!
IX: Find the boy! That is your task!
SHADE: …..Yes, my lord.

Shade then vanishes!

ROUGE: “Boy!?”
IX: That is none of your concern, interlopers!
ROBOTNIK: Whoever you are, you are in need of a dictionary. This facility does not belong to you!
IX: On the contrary! This facility rests upon the land of our ancestors! Intruded upon by the human race, wiped out by the human race, and deliberately hidden…. by the human race! You are thieves who have stolen our birthright! And it is time that we put our house in order!
ROBOTNIK: By instigating war between the nations of the world!? What would that achieve!?
IX: Humanity is a species bred upon war and suffering! Creatures without restraint! Without compassion! Without empathy! Where do you think such war of perpetuity would lead to?
ROBOTNIK: ………You’re trying to wipe out the Human Race through war!?
IX: Your time has ended! Humanity is on the threshold of extinction! Left unchecked, you would ruin this world in due time, and your end would be your doing! We are merely furthering along destiny at an accelerated rate!
SONIC: That’s why you wanted to kill Elise!? Just to start a war!?
IX: *pointing* And I suppose I have you to thank for thwarting that plan? As a Mobian, you should have more pride than to risk your life for such feeble beings! They slaughter our kind to empower themselves! How can you defend such atrocity!?
SONIC: Save it! Where’s the Duke of Apotos!? Where’s her Father!?
IX: He is in good hands…. for now!

Rouge tries a Sonic Scream on Ix, but he is left unfazed!

ROUGE: What the!?

And then, Ix flies in her face, and slaps her out cold!

SONIC: ROUGE!!!

And then, he hurls an invisible wave of pressure at Robotnik, knocking him into a wall! Sonic then rushes at Ix with his Kinetic Sabers, slashing furiously at him and missing every time!

Ix then tosses away his staff and grabs Sonic’s wrists mid attack, and “twists” the kinetic energy out from his arms, disarming him of his sabers, and then proceeds to go “Wing Chun” on his ass.

After delivering a final blow, Sonic is knocked out cold. And we cut to black as soon as he hits the ground!

*Sky Babylon*

Mighty and Ray are relaxing as Elise walks into the area.

ELISE: No one told me we were over Empire City! I’ve always wanted to go there!
MIGHTY: You can teleport. We ain’t stoppin yah!
ELISE: I…. I need one of you to come with me, at least!
RAY: A boydguard!? You don’t even need to ask!!
ELISE: Please, Mighty!?
RAY: Awww
MIGHTY: I am not about to head back down there! You got ghosts that can kidnap you and you never see the light of day again!?
RAY: Not a bad way to go if you find the right ghost!
ELISE: How can you say that!? You could’ve died!
RAY: And she was to be my heaven!

Silver enters the area.

SILVER: Have any of you seen Amy? Or Sonic?
MIGHTY: They went down to the surface this morning.
RAY: Talk about a loooooooong date!
ELISE: Wow, I knew those 2 were together!
MIGHTY: You’re a wee bit too excited about that, aren’t you? Well, that’s not the case anyway! They’re looking into some “Golden Trading Company” or something.
ELISE: Why?
MIGHTY: If I knew that, I’d be down there too! But Sonic ain’t even talking to us for some reason!
SILVER: Maybe he doesn’t want you to know. Like when we went into Mazuri and Shamar.
RAY: As much as Sonic drags us everywhere? Hah!
MIGHTY: You said it! Least we get a break for once!

Suddenly, they hear an explosion on the other side of the Island!

SILVER: What was that!?

Fires start sprouting up around the City!

RAY: WHOA! Is Blaze on that time of month!?
MIGHTY: No, you idiot! We’re under attack!
ELISE: Oh no!
MIGHTY: Just stay here! We’ll deal with it!

This zone is “Babylon Garden”. It’s basically Sky Babylon, but with wind tunnels, fire, and gray skies. Iblis enemies also reappear here, primarily the quadrupeds and worms, which should give you an idea of who’s starting the fire! Pun intended.

After that, Mighty, Ray, and Silver find Blaze, Knuckles, Jet, and Tails fighting against ………… Zavok the Destroyer!

ZAVOK: *evil laugh* To think that it would be so easy to find you all again!
SILVER: Zavok the Destroyer!?
BLAZE: Why have you returned!? Is this world too primed for destruction!? Or is this revenge!?
ZAVOK: On the contrary! I seek the Blue Hedgehog! His power is wasted on good deeds!
TAILS: You’re not getting to Sonic!
ZAVOK: Pitiful mortals! If you feel your strength is enough to match mine, then try your best to stop me!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

BOSS TIME! Zavok fights no differently than he does in NS7, though he is more vulnerable to physical attacks here. (Primarily Spin Attacks), making Knuckles, Jet, and Mighty the prime candidates. I figure having to rely on Action Triggers to deal damage was too tedious.

After the fight, EVERYONE is exhausted. Even Zavok!

ZAVOK: Hurrr…. you’re stronger than before! The whole lot of you! But still… not who I want!
KNUCKLES: We are stronger than you believe! You cannot hope to win!

Zavok catches a glimpse of Elise hiding behind one of the buildings!

ZAVOK: Oh, I see now! The secret to a Mortal’s power is the desire to protect!

Zavok sprouts a geyser of flame around the group, obscuring their vision!

SILVER: What is this!?

Zavok then dashes toward Elise!

ELISE: *screams*
BLAZE: ELISE!?!

Blaze quickly disperses the flames surrounding them and finds Zavok taking hold of Elise!

ELISE: BLAZE!!! HELP!!!
BLAZE: RELEASE HER THIS INSTANT!!!
ZAVOK: Tell that Blue Hedgehog that if he wants the brat alive, he will face me, now!!

He then jumps off the Island with Elise, and we hear nothing but her screams!

BLAZE: ELIIIIIIIIISE!!!
TAILS: This is terrible! We have to warn Sonic immediately!
JET: It’s a trap! What did you guys do to piss him off!?
BLAZE: We defeated him during our escape!?
MIGHTY: So why take an interest in Sonic!? We all had a hand in knocking him on his ass!
BLAZE: I don’t know, and we cannot afford to inquire! Elise’s life is at stake!

*Emerald Town*

Sonic wakes up behind a building with Danny in front of him.

DANNY: Hey man, you alright!?
SONIC: Huh? Danny? Ugh….*straining*
DANNY: Yo, take it easy man!
SONIC: Rouge…. where’s Rouge!?
DANNY: ….I don’t know. There was a Pink Hedgehog that came out of nowhere and used some rock to get us out of there. She said to just look out for you until she found that Bat girl.
SONIC: Oh… Amy. She’s a lifesaver…. well, I’m up now so….

Sonic struggles to get to his feet, but he can’t stand, so Danny helps him walk.

DANNY: Slow down, man! You can’t walk a butt whoopin like that!
SONIC: thanks for damaging the pride, kid!
DANNY: Huh?
SONIC: Nevermind. We gotta get you home.

They both walk through the back alleys to get to Brocklon.

DANNY: So… what’s your name?
SONIC: Sonic. Sonic the Hedgehog. And before you ask, your aunt was the one who brought you up before.
DANNY: Oh. Aunt Christy? She worries too much!
SONIC: You were in a jail cell! Why wouldn’t she be!? And speaking of which, WHY were you in jail!? You’re only 11 years old!
DANNY: You’re not from Earth, are you?
SONIC: Do I have to be to understand?
DANNY: Kinda. It’s hard to explain otherwise.
SONIC: Try me!
DANNY: Uh… people who look a certain way… get treated worse than everyone else?
SONIC: ………You’re right, I don’t get it.
DANNY: I don’t either.
SONIC: Well what’s the excuse they used?
DANNY: They said I was trying to steal drugs from Ridgemond to help fund the… “criminal element” back home. Said they wanted to make an example out of me.
SONIC: The hell? What kind of example?
DANNY: That no matter how old you are, drugs are always off limits.
SONIC: And yet, the one company in Ridgemond can rake in money off of them stays clean and gets all the security in the world.
DANNY: Oh, you know about GTC too!?
SONIC: You do!?
DANNY: That’s where I was going! They kept selling some purple stuff in our area, and everyone who takes it…. turns purple and gets really strong.
SONIC: They’re going all out to protect themselves, aren’t they!?
DANNY: Is that why you’re here? For GTC?
SONIC: No doubt!
DANNY: This is great! Maybe we can finally bust them!
SONIC: That’s the spirit!

Suddenly, Sonic’s phone rings.

SONIC: Hold on. *answers* What’s up?
MIGHTY: Yo, we got trouble!
SONIC: Can’t be any worse than what I’m going through!
MIGHTY: Does it involve Elise being kidnapped!?
SONIC: WHAT!?!
MIGHTY: Yeah… and by Zavok!
SONIC: Zavok’s back!? How!?
MIGHTY: Hell if I know! He jumped down somewhere in the city!
SONIC: Ok, I’ll take care of it!
MIGHTY: Stay safe! *hangs up*
SONIC: But I can’t leave you alone out here, can I?
DANNY: What happened!?
SONIC: I’ll… I’ll explain on the way! You got a good grip, right?
DANNY: ….Yeah?

The next spot is “Skyscra-” ……. “Skyline Zone Day”. And this is a Mach Speed Zone. No real changes from the original in Unleashed… outside of maybe taking out those cylinders with the spike walls on them, and of course the 2D sections would be removed. I’d probably want the area to look more modern rather than something out of a 60s Superman Comic.

After completing the zone, we see ECPD trying to take down Zavok!

OFFICER: *bullhorn* THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING! RELEASE THE GIRL NOW, AND PUT YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEAD!
ZAVOK: *whispers* Foolish Mortals and their guns!

Zavok shoots fire at their guns, melting them at the barrels!

OFFICER: What the!?
ZAVOK: GRAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I have no interest in dealing with a plot of typically feeble humans! I seek the blue Hedgehog! Should he not arrive, this child will face my fury instead! Unless you all wish to entertain me, you will leave now or forfeit your very lives!
ELISE: Why do you want Sonic, you creep!?
ZAVOK: There are some things a child isn’t meant to understand!

Youtube’s Echo Chamber must DIE! (Sonic)

Asia Catdog recently posted a video by a guy named….. “knowledgebat”? Is that his name… you know what, I dont even care anymore.

Now, overall… I don’t take offense to this since… everything he says is valid. And hey, he acknowledges that SCD is the best Classic Sonic ever made because why the fuck wouldn’t you!? But….. there is just one…. teeny tiny teensy weensy thing I would call attention to.

How in the grand fuck…. are you going to criticize S3K for having bad design (which I agree with)…… but then turn around and praise Sonic Mania for accurately capturing the essence of the classic games…. that you CRITICIZED, most notably S3K…. when Sonic Mania does S3K so… much…. worse!?

Case in point: Hydrocity. He called attention to the fact that S3K having a water zone is bad design (not really going into detail as to why, just listing it as a negative), which I can only assume is the result of it being tedious and sluggish to go through… but the variant in Mania has it where you are REQUIRED to move around in a game gear style bubble in order to reach a switch to raise the water several times throughout the course of the zone. This is twice as tedious, slow, and boring as the original…. but… this is somehow superior to the original. There is no criticism, no real analysis done for Mania to explain how that game is infact, superior to the Genesis titles (namely said S3K) that would clarify such a claim.

People, it’s becoming more and more apparent that Youtube is no different than mainstream television. I’ve watched several videos of youtubers having nonstop praise of Sonic Mania, and not a lick of those cocksuckers could give a detailed analysis as to why it’s so good. They just say it is and move on. Youtube has become a cesspool as of late in regards to….. everything, really, and gaming in general, there are people talking some sense as to what is wrong with the industry. But when it comes to Sonic, we just get all this…. redundancy. No one has any real analysis anymore, we just get 31 flavors of “How it all went wrong“. How the series fell from grace and why it remains there. It’s a goddamn echo chamber of people who think that by repeating the same fucking information that they’re going to influence people’s perspectives any differently than what we have now. A big ass populace of people who don’t give a shit about Sonic is not going to give a shit about the same regurgitated information you spout. Or shouldn’t.

Now yes, I’m aware that a lot of people have likely never played Sonic games since the 90s which has led to some videos of people who… quite frankly can’t adjust to the fact that the games move fast. I’ve watched videos of people trying to play Sonic Mania, and they complained big time about the fact that the character moves too fast. Probably so busy jacking off to Nintendo games that games that require faster reflexes or processing are too scary for them, but they are not to be blamed for their views on the series. They’re brand new. It also means that might have to shut the fuck up on certain aspects of the series, but nevertheless, you can’t blame them for not finding it appealing. Those aren’t the ones I’m talking about. I’m talking about the jackasses who don’t play the games at all and feel the need to speak about their quality anyway.

We can talk all this bullshit about all these other fandoms, but the Sonic Fandom has a nasty… and I mean a NASTY… bandwagon problem. No one is real anymore. We just have a bunch of assholes who say the same goddamn shit over and over when concerning the sonic franchise. This is why no one shuts the fuck up about 06 being shit when we’ve gotten much worse games in the last decade. They wouldn’t know. They dropped out of the series likely after that one game. So what the fuck else would they know aside from “reviewers said it sucked, so I too say it sucked”?

Not to toot my own horn, but folks like me, the SA3 page, Psycho and others on deviantart, Roger, etc…. we actually invest in this shit! We play these damned games! We know what the fuck we’re talking about when we dig into them! We’re probably the only crazy bastards willing to put money down on this franchise anymore. So when we discuss these games, we’re gonna have a better perspective of their strengths and weaknesses that is both interesting and (I would hope) informative. And we can go in depth when necessary because we took the time that most others would not. So while most of you gave me shit for dogging Sonic Mania last year, none of you can actually claim that I’m talking out of my ass when why I go into why it’s a piece of shit. On the other hand, don’t listen to anything I say in regards to Sonic Chronicles. I’ve not played it at all! 😛

Again, not tooting my horn, but when you have DOZENS of mother fuckers on youtube proclaiming that Sonic Mania is the greatest thing since Miranda Lawson’s ass, and NONE of them can say why? Yeah, that’s highly suspect! Now THAT could be excused away as being that people tend not to think about something when it is fun to them, so it’s more difficult to pinpoint the ins and outs of something since your brain isn’t turned on. That’s fine. But it becomes painfully obvious that the praise and critiques are artificial when you have dozens of people that give you the same catch phrases… or…. “Catch Analysis”….. just work with me.

Now, why is it that Sonic’s gameplay can only be analyzed via a comparative analysis with the Mario series? I mean it’s pretty obvious why, the 90s consoles war and that everyone who cares to talk about Sonic is a goddamn Nintendo Fanboy who only cares about Mario when it can be used as a proxy to criticize Sonic, but why not…. Pac-Land? The game that inspired Super Mario Brothers? Why not… Mega Man? Or Castlevania? Why not Rayman? Or Klonoa? Are these not ALSO platformers? Or rather “Action Games“, which is what they should be called? It’s as though you care about the Sonic franchise to the extent that you can uplift Mario at it’s expense. We all know it has everything to do with the 90s console war, something the Mario fans like to tell Sonic fans to drop even though they continue to perpetuate it through memes, vs vids, and faux analysis vids. That is the #1 reason, and because Sega dropped out of the console race in 2001, people have twisted that into saying that Nintendo defeated Sega. Nintendo fans get a sick pleasure out of Sega’s demise as they’ve never outgrown that console war, and won’t let people forget it. This more than anything shows how intensely CULTISH Nintendo fans really are!

Damn near every vid I’ve seen that delves into what’s wrong with Sonic has this bullshit. Because no one is actually thinking. There’s no analysis being done. It’s just endless regurgitation. There’s nothing to learn. There’s nothing to take in because you already have it in. Mario games are simply better than Sonic games because they say so and nothing more. See, that’s the real take away. “Mario is better because I say so!” Oh yeah and the sales do too. Wait… do the Mario fans agree on that? NSMBW shat all over the Galaxy games on Wii, but they’ll IGNORE that and say that Galaxy games are better because of production values, not because of the money made. So… fuck, maybe they don’t like Mario Kart 8 more than TSR, I don’t really know anymore! Damn, I’m still laughing my ass off on how Crash fans tried to use TSR to hype up CTR at it’s expense and wound up with a splitting headache! 😛 Gooooooddamn was that satisfying!

But I digress. It is absolutely…. frustrating being a fan of this franchise. Not only because it is owned by what can be labeled a malevolent entity that does everything to undermine the series as well as the fanbase, but also because the fans and those that aren’t constantly spread mis-truths and mythos in regards to series quality, and also because there is no THINKING being done. The brand is in shambles, and no one bothers to explain why in an adequate way that brings new information to light. You just have a bunch of bitches running off at the mouth about the same shit we learned 7 years ago. Maybe that’s why the series keeps delving into nostalgia because the fans LITERALLY won’t stop living in the past!

Doing it Better: Neo Sonic 8 (Act 1)

*Empire City Hall*

The President is busy writing new laws in the books when his assistant, “Christina Cooper”, enters the room.

COOPER: Mr. President, you have a call-
PRESIDENT: Hold on, hold on. I haven’t finished writing this new law yet!
COOPER: ….The one related to criminalizing men showing bulges in their pants?
PRESIDENT: Indecent exposure will traumatize this nation’s youth! You know this!
COOPER: *crosses arms* I don’t suppose our prisons are being put to good use? Is that what this is really about?
PRESIDENT: Your job isn’t to agree, Cooper, it is to inform. Now what’s going on?
COOPER: *sighs* It’s Commander Tower. He says this is urgent.
PRESIDENT: I don’t suppose it can wait until after 3:00?
COOPER: After 2 hour karaoke session with the Kamurocho PM?
PRESIDENT: Correct.
COOPER: That session isn’t for another 3 hours, I assume you have enough time to hear him out.
PRESIDENT: *sighs* Well I didn’t realize his time was more precious than mine. Put him on the line.

Abraham Tower appears on a monitor.

TOWER: *clears throat* Sorry to bother you, Mr. President, but we have an urgent situation that requires your immediate attention.
PRESIDENT: Spare me the details, just tell me what’s going on.
TOWER: 13 minutes ago, a mysterious floating island appeared directly above Windmill Isle. Some of the locals are concerned that it might be related to the Marauders.
PRESIDENT: Do they know, or are they making assumptions?
TOWER: Sir, with all due respect, I don’t think that is relevant.
PRESIDENT: Ok. So an Island appears over a nation that doesn’t concern the United Federation.
TOWER: The Duke of Apotos has requested our assistance. Marauder activity Activity in Eurish is at an all-time high, and with his daughter touring in Westopolis, most of his staff are keeping a watch over her.
PRESIDENT: Great. So he wants us to waste our resources because his troops are babysitting his little girl.
TOWER: ………With all due respect, Mr. President, if this Island is related to the Marauders, it’s best that we get to the bottom of this before anything else happens. Not to mention we need to build better relations with our allies to the east. Politically speaking, we’ll be in the Duke’s good graces, and be rewarded with a potential ally should we have another war.
PRESIDENT: Hmm…. alright. I’m authorizing deployment. No more than 50 men on the ground.
TOWER: Yes sir!

*GUN HQ*

“Topaz” enters the command center. (think Jennifer Hale voice)

TOPAZ: *salutes* Corporal Topaz, reporting for duty!
TOWER: At ease! Where’s Sergeant Speed?
TOPAZ: He’ll be arriving soon.
TOWER: He’s got 5 seconds!

And on cue, Sam Speed enters the room. (I don’t remember that Sonic X crap, Sam Speed’s the one who was stupid enough to try and race Sonic in a car, right?)

SAM: 5 seconds was plenty, sir!
TOWER: If you’re that damn fast, Topaz shouldn’t have beaten you here!
SAM: Well you know-
TOWER: Shut up! I don’t want excuses! The President has given us the greenlight to lay boots on the ground as per the Duke’s request. Suit up, strap up, and gather 50 men for the long haul!
SAM: Alright, lets go! I’ve been looking for some action!
TOWER: Hopefully, there won’t be any action! This is a foreign nation! You WILL keep that trigger finger under control, or I’ll have both your asses for a thanksgiving dinner! Now get moving!

In the hanger area.

TOPAZ: You enjoy pissing off the commander, don’t you?
SAM: All a part of my charm!
TOPAZ: You were promoted to a sergeant, and you still act like you’re in the academy. Don’t you think you should take your role a bit more seriously?
SAM: If I did, I’d be no better than those dingos on the other side! You guys are so uptight!
TOPAZ: We’re military. Discipline and self-control comes with the territory. Or did you get the memo?
SAM: Course I did! I just wiped my ass with it because I know what we’re really about!
TOPAZ: *sighs* It’s a shame you haven’t been kicked out yet. Damn Thorndykes.

She says as they board their transport.

*Sky Babylon*

Sonic and friends open the door to the outside after having survived their perilous journey through the dimensional tunnel.

RAY: ……Well this is anti-climatic!
SONIC: It’s “peaceful”, that’s what!
SILVER: …..So…. where are we?

Rouge takes notice of the windmill…

ROUGE: ….Oh good! We’re on Earth!
ALL: Huh!?
AMY: Earth? You mean this is the Human World!?
ROUGE: Yep!
SONIC: You’ve been here before?
ROUGE: I’ve had quite a few trips here before Gigapolis was destroyed. Pulled a few heists here as well!
KNUCKLES: Hmph!
JET: So what does that mean for us? You’re gonna be our tour guide now?
ROUGE: I could be, but not with that attitude!
SONIC: Save yourself the trouble! I prefer to do my own exploring!
MIGHTY: Anything to get off this rock!
RAY: You said it!

The Trio then leap from Sky Babylon!

AMY: WAIT! SONIC!!
TAILS: Well, there they go!
KNUCKLES: They’re unusually impulsive, aren’t they?
JET: It wouldn’t be them if they weren’t.
BLAZE: ……….
SILVER: …………..

The trio lands on the ground and start running!

SONIC: Never thought I’d see the day that we get to visit Earth! Whaddya say we have ourselves a little sight-seeing!?
RAY: Seeing as we’re near the water, I hope those sights come with 2 pieces!
MIGHTY: What the hell does that even mean!?
SONIC: Don’t ask, Mighty! LETS GO!!!

So the first zone is a Mach Speed zone of Windmill Isle Act 1 Daytime (fuck, that’s a mouthful!) And if you couldn’t gather from the vid, I’d want this to be a piss easy zone where you just run through and have the credits roll by as you’re blasting through the place. Hell, this song practically has the same tempo as Windmill Isle…. except it sounds good. This franchise needs some Black shit in it to be cool again, I swear! Oh wait, they already ruined that perception with Gangsta’s Paradise.

Anywho, after that, the trio go exploring the town. The citizens of Apotos haven’t realized that they came from Sky Babylon, and assume they’re just more Mobians.

MIGHTY: Well it’s nice to know these guys won’t lash out against us like Soleanna did!
SONIC: The perks of not having to go through first contact! They’re all probably wondering how we even got here since the Warp Gate in Gigapolis was destroyed.
RAY: You know… among the whole friggin city!
SONIC: Er… yeah.
MIGHTY: Well, the place we ended up in is friendlier, but that doesn’t help us get back home, now does it?
SONIC: Maybe not, but at least we can catch our breath and get our bearings. I’ve always wanted to check out the human world that Espio loves so damn much! Come on! Lets see what’s poppin in town!
RAY: “Poppin”?

Alright. So the 3D hub worlds are coming back. And hell, they were already in Unleashed so why not? Couple of things you can do here, you can find kids playing “Buno” that you can participate in (and earn some rings on the side), as well as head into shops. Each town has shops with different inventory from extra lives, free barriers at the start of an act, costumes, and Action triggers. You can also talk to useless NPCs who only talk about how much anxiety the Duke has over his dauter being in Westopolis without his supervision. They also don’t like the idea of GUN going into their country just because “a flying rock” appeared above the city. Trying to go into Apotos Castle will trigger a short scene where 2 guards bar entry to the trio.

GUARD: HALT!!!
RAY: HEY! Whatever it was, we didn’t do it!
GUARD: None may enter the castle without the appropriate passes! You Mobians are not exempt from that!
RAY: Oh ok! I thought we were in trouble again!
GUARD: You will be if you don’t vacate the premises!
MIGHTY: Psh! Well screw you too!
SONIC: Mighty!

There isn’t much more you can do here, so just head on back to Sky Babylon.

*Sky Babylon*

As the trio returns, they find Jet, Silver, and Blaze trying to organize the refugees within. I’d have that “Gaia Temple” music play here.

TAILS: Hey they’re back! That was fast…
JET: I take it you 3 enjoyed your little tour?
SONIC: *smiles* Good news guys! No one’s trying to kill us this time! We can walk around without Knuckles getting choked!
KNUCKLES: I fail to see the humor in that, Sonic!
SILVER: So where exactly are we? What is this Human World?
ROUGE: Just think of it as another dimension with beings that are much taller than us, but aren’t so hostile.
AMY: That’s good to know! I’d hate to be stuck in another world where we’d be under attack just for showing up!
SILVER: We had our reasons, Amy.
MIGHTY: Doesn’t mean we have to approve, Silver!
TAILS: It’s a dimension in which the Robotnik family originally comes from!
MIGHTY: Really!?
TAILS: Yeah. I… I thought that was pretty common knowledge.
RAY: So what you’re saying is we can expect a lot of EVIL to come from this world!
ROUGE: Judging an entire people by the actions of one person? I had you pegged for a more open minded individual!
AMY: Can you really blame us? Robotnik is the only human we’ve ever had contact with.
BLAZE: Who is this “Robotnik”?
JET: All you need to know is he’s a class A bastard. You see him, make sure to kill him!
SILVER: Is he truly that evil?
ALL: YES!!
BLAZE: What has he done to earn your ire?
SONIC: Kidnapped someone we cared about and turned her against us. Then manipulated a guy to kill her!
JET: Murdered our commander and chief in order to steal a Chaos Emerald.
TAILS: Put me in a cage and tried to electrocute me to death.
KNUCKLES: Threatened the life of my sister and caused chaos on my island!
AMY: Purged the entire military force in our world!
MIGHTY: Executed our government officials.
ROUGE: Doesn’t seem like the worst thing anyone could do!
JET: Didn’t his little pet robot kill Fang?
ROUGE: ………\/_\/
RAY: Kind of a low blow, Jet!
JET: It’s the truth, why cover it up? The man is a twisted psychopath! We all know what he’s done and what lengths he’s willing to go to achieve his goals!
SONIC: Couldn’t have said it better myself!
ROUGE: But that doesn’t mean every other human in this world is anywhere near as evil as Robotnik!
AMY: Exactly how often have you been here, Rouge?
ROUGE: Enough to know that you’d all be making a mistake in assuming all the humans will outright attack you just for being a Mobian!

Suddenly, they feel rumbling from the outside!

RAY: Aaaaaaaaand now they’re here to prove you wrong!
TAILS: Are those explosions!?
SONIC: Only one way to find out!!

The gang all races outside to see what’s going on, only to find GUN soldiers and drones had surrounded them!

AMY: GUN!!? They exist in this world too!?
ROUGE: They’ve operated here longer than they did on Mobius!
MIGHTY: HEY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? WE’VE GOT KIDS IN HERE!!!
TOPAZ: *bull horn* ATTENTION! ANY AND ALL DENIZENS WITHIN THE ISLAND MUST VACATE THE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY, OR WE WILL OCCUPY IT WITH LETHAL FORCE!!
SONIC: Are they serious!?
KNUCKLES: It seems they all have an unhealthy penchant for violence!
ROUGE: Oh no, I forgot about this detail.
SONIC: Detail!?
ROUGE: The ruler of Apotos has a lot of paranoia about invading forces. He might think we’re the invaders! But that doesn’t explain why GUN is here.
JET: Who cares, they need to back off!
ROUGE: Look, all we need to do is go down there and show we’re not an invading army and-
JET: To hell with that!! I know EXACTLY where this is going! They’ll want to take control of the island and claim it for themselves!
ROUGE: Jet, that’s not-
JET: HEY GUN! HOW ABOUT YOU LICK OUR FEATHERY ASSES!?
SAM: Well, that was classy!
TOPAZ: OPEN FIRE!!!

And they do! Sonic and the gang take cover!

RAY: Well THAT was smart!
KNUCKLES: You idiotic fool!
MIGHTY: Jet, you stupid ass! What were you thinking!?
JET: I’m sick and tired of people walking onto the places WE own and being told to roll over why they have their way with it! This is island was contribution from my ancestors, and I ain’t about to lose it to a bunch of tall freaks!
RAY: Yeah, it’d suck if you got it and lost it all in one day!
BLAZE: We still have Refugees on board! You shouldn’t have risked a confrontation so soon, Jet!
KNUCKLES: You make a terrible chieftain! But what can you expect from Babylonians than an unnecessary escalation of conflict!?
JET: Go screw yourself, Knuckles!
SONIC: Look, maybe we can lure them away from Babylon! There aren’t enough men so whoever they leave behind won’t be a handful! Might need Silver’s help for this!
SILVER: Me!?
SONIC: You can take their guns, right!?
SILVER: What’s a “gun”?
MIGHTY: Aw jeez, are you serious!?
BLAZE: I’ve never heard of such a weapon either.
AMY: They were stuck in the middle ages, you know.
SONIC: Look, just follow my lead, alright!? You ready, Mighty? Ray?
MIGHTY & RAY: Yeah!
SONIC: The rest of you, defend this Island at all costs!
JET: Who made you the boss!?
MIGHTY: I’d rather follow him than you at this point, Jet!

Act 2 of Windmill Isle involves GUN soldiers and GUN drones. Now… this would be different as the goal is to… NOT…. attack the GUN soldiers here. Even though they’ll be attacking you with extreme prejudice, your goal is to simply run FROM them to the goal. The idea being that if you lash out against them, you write yourself off as a hostile force, and you risk a conflict that you don’t want. Now, you won’t be penalized for merely hitting them, but KILLING them will be detrimental later on. I’ll explain how…. later on! 😛 Drones are fair game, however. Destroying them won’t effect shit.

Afterward, the Trio and Silver head westward.

SAM: They’re headed for Westopolis! That’s where the Duke’s daughter is!
TOPAZ: Damn! ALL TROOPS! PURSUE THE MOBIANS!!!

The GUN soldiers all go after the Trio while Silver flies overhead.

TAILS: Good! They all left!
AMY: Great! Now Jet can explain to us exactly what in the hell he was thinking!!
JET: I’m protecting what’s ours
TAILS: By hiding up here and letting Sonic and them do all the work?
JET: Hey, it worked, right? They’re gone, the Island is intact, and we bought ourselves some time in how we can get this thing moving!
ROUGE: Next time, I take the lead on these matters!
JET: So long as it means not giving up the island!

*Road to Westopolis*

The Trio and Silver continue to lure the GUN troops from the Island

SONIC: Those guys are too slow! Those dingos moved a lot faster!
SILVER: Are you really upset that they can’t catch us?
MIGHTY: Don’t mind him! His idea of fun is unending peril, Silver. It’s why he gets on our nerves so much!
SONIC: Hehe!
SILVER: I don’t follow. How can anyone enjoy risking their lives!?
RAY: Some people need to feel alive by risking certain doom!
SILVER: …..How!?
SONIC: Don’t worry about it, man! The important thing is GUN is taking their sweet time getting here. By the time they arrive, we’ll be finished with our next tour! Dead ahead!

They all see Westopolis.

MIGHTY: Is this really the best time to be sight seeing!?
SONIC: Sure it is! All we have to do is stretch a few miles and-

As he says that, several jet planes bearing the flag of Spagonia, begin carpet bombing the city!

RAY: …… Maybe we can tell the guys that we had a “blast” on the way over here?

Back at the GUN forces behind them.

SAM: What the hell!? Spagonia aircraft!
TOPAZ: What are they doing attacking Westopolis!? Commander!?
TOWER: *over radio* Ask questions later! Get your butts over to Westopolis, NOW!!!
TOPAZ: Roger!!! ALL TROOPS, BREAK OFF PURSUIT AND HEAD FOR WESTOPOLIS, ON THE DOUBLE!!!

And they do so, bypassing Sonic’s group.

MIGHTY: Huh! That was easy! Come on, lets get back to the garden and find a way to cover our asses!

Mighty and Ray try to run back. However, Sonic and Silver hear screams from the city and have second thoughts.

SILVER: Sonic! You hear them too, right?!
SONIC: …………

Mighty and Ray stop in their tracks and look back.

MIGHTY: Aww jeez, tell me you’re not going to save them!
SONIC: ………Well, you guys don’t need to come along! Me and Silver got this!
MIGHTY: *sighs* Why do you always have to be the nice guy!?
SILVER: Because people’s lives are at stake! We have to help them!

Silver flies ahead into the city.

SONIC: Nice to know someone is speaking my language!

And Sonic follows suit. Mighty and Ray shortly head in themselves.

Next Stop is “Crisis City”. A Mach Speed Zone no less. The sequence that plays here is affected by whether or not you beat up GUN soldiers. If not, then the path you take is a straight shot through the city. Here’s the sequence. You rush through the streets and blast through enemy tanks and battle cars that chase after you. A barricade with 3 tanks will lie in front, and this here presents a “divergent path”. Again, based on whether you fought GUN, one of them will fire a rocket at the barricade letting you through. Otherwise, the gang automatically takes a detour up a building side that gets blasted on by Spagonian Drones. The building would then shortly collapse onto said barricade (You will need to jump off immediately, or be crushed to death).
After that, continue heading down the street with tanks firing at you which you can dodge by quick stepping. If GUN doesn’t have their numbers, you will have twice as many tanks to avoid. Also, you can take a back alley shortcut to avoid having to deal with them at all.
After avoiding the tanks, several winged troops fly through the city, diving bombing the buildings. If GUN wasn’t beaten, 2 of them will be shot down, but it doesn’t affect your run. It just looks cool.
Keep going until you find the road in front is being destroyed. You’ll have a split second to find and hit the nearest rail that will take you to the upper levels of the city. Then jump off and hit the highway. If GUN doesn’t have their numbers, a wing trooper will shortly destroy the highway, and you’ll have to hit several twisted grind rails just to get across. Otherwise, the wing troopers would be shot down, and you’d merely have to avoid the debris from their crashes, which is simple enough. Several more troopers fly by and try swipe are you, and all you need to do is jump over them, quick step, or boost out of the way. You’ll have to deal with them for the next few feet if you gave GUN a hard time.
Afterward, you’ll have to jump off the highway and crash through some buildings, and Sonic will automatically dash through the floors and crashing out of he side to the roof tops!

SILVER: The whole city’s on fire!
MIGHTY: Oh wow! NO (bleep)!!!
SONIC: Keep it together, guys!

If you beat up GUN soldiers, you switch to Silver here and would have to shoot down some wing troopers. I’d want this portion to go at the same speed and style of action as LA Machineguns. You know, that ol’ Rail Shooter you can find on Wii that just… kicks ass?

If not, you don’t get this segment and would just continue on as Sonic. Keep hopping the roof tops, and you could probably use some of those existing wing troopers as bridge shortcuts to hop 2 roofs over. Hit the springs here for the segment. An explosion destroys the next building they land on, and Sonic gets separated from Mighty and Ray.

MIGHTY: CRAP!
SONIC: KEEP GOING! I’LL CATCH UP WITH YOU!!!

Now you’re forced to travel between buildings as they explode! Lets keep that part where you’re hitting speeders to corner around a rooftop, and then have a building crash into the one you’re one, and you just grind down the corner of that collapsed building. Again, if you didn’t beat GUN’s ass, you’ll see them in the background tearing ass on the Spagonians. If you did, they’ll do kamikaze attacks on the building you’re on, and you’ll have to jump a few times to avoid being struck. Jump off the building and take the next few rails to more rooftops. AGAIN…. if you whooped GUN’s ass, the Spagonians will destroy the rails by merely flying through them.

SILVER: Sonic! Here!

Silver levitate platforms for you to run across into the next area. If you left GUN alone, just continue on as usual. At some point, you will reach a hotel whereby the zone goes on auto pilot for the moment.

Sonic is in the lobby and finds “Marauders” all over the place. They seem him as an enemy and open fire, but… obviously, Sonic smears them all over the walls. He climbs the floors, whippin ass on all these Marauders until he reaches the top floor, and knocks out 2 more!

???: *shrieks*!
SONIC: Whoa!? What the hell was that!?

He looks toward a bed in the room, and searches the blankets. Then he looks under it to find a little girl, and it should be obvious who it is just by the dialog alone.

SONIC: Hey! Are you ok!?
ELISE: GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!
SONIC: YO, CHILL OUT!!!

Some debris falls down!

SONIC: Listen, I know you’re scared, but you can’t stay here! This place is coming down!!
ELISE: They’re trying to kill me!!
SONIC: Who!? These losers?! They’re down for the count! If you wanna live, I’m your only ticket outta here!
ELISE: …………
SONIC: Trust me!!!!

Sonic holds out his hand while Elise hesitates.

SONIC: You and I both know you can’t stay here!

Elise looks Sonic dead in his eyes… and then slowly reaches for his hand. And as Sonic grabs it, the floor beneath the bed collapses!!!

ELISE: *screams*!
SONIC: WHOA!!!

He snatches her from under the bed before the floor crumbles!

ELISE: >_<!!!
SONIC: *nervous laugh* Ok! That would NOT have been pretty! Can you imagine if you went splat after I made a speech like that!?
ELISE: …..Who are you!?
SONIC: Name’s Sonic the Hedgehog! But you might wanna save introductions for later! We need to get out of here!
ELISE: But how!? Everything is on fire!
SONIC: ……You got a good grip?
ELISE: …..Maybe?
SONIC: Then you might wanna hold on tight!

Elise latches onto Sonic’s back.

SONIC: And I DO mean “tight”!
ELISE: What are you going to do!?
SONIC: Here’s a hint! You might get dizzy!

And Sonic SPEEDS out of the building!!

ELISE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

The zone continues here! As Sonic has a passenger, you won’t be taking any drastic routes. Most of this next part is strictly on the road. Remember the original MSZ from 06 with the cars being thrown at you? Yeah… that’s back! And I’m going to make 100x WORSE!!!! Since you have Elise on your back, she’s not durable at all, so one hit from debris or an obstacle, it will count as a one hit death.
If you can bypass most of the crap along the way, Silver will come back and clear out any wreckage that’s in your way!

SILVER: FOLLOW ME, SONIC!!!

Another scene plays here where Silver leads Sonic (and Elise) back to Mighty and Ray.

MIGHTY: HAH! There he is!
RAY: BUDDY!
SONIC: Thanks SIlver!
SILVER: No problem!
MIGHTY: Good! Now can we leave!?

[If GUN was spared]
SILVER: Those soldiers are doing a decent job of fighting back and protecting civilians. Maybe we can let them handle it!

[If GUN was killed]
SILVER: The city’s lost! So many lives were wasted. We can’t do anything but escape!

They all see Elise.

SILVER: Who is she?
MIGHTY: Oh lord, he picked up more strays!
ELISE: ……..
SONIC: What!? You know I couldn’t just leave her behind in a burning building!
ELISE: Um…. I need to use the bathroom!
MIGHTY: …..Ok?

They see a toilet in a burned out building… but the toilet is destroyed by a geyser of fire!

RAY: …..Might wanna hold it for a while!
ELISE: No, I can just go in that corner there!

Elise walks into a ditch.

SONIC: Wait, are you serious?! The whole city is about to be-
ELISE: DON’T LOOK!!!

They all look away.

SONIC: OK! Ok! Just… hurry up!

SILVER: Sonic! We’ve got enemies incoming
MIGHTY: DAMMIT! Do we have to bring her along!?
SONIC: I’m not leaving a kid to die, Mighty!
MIGHTY: Oh… alright already!

Gotta love these wave battles, right? AGAIN…. if you beat up GUN, you’ll have 7 waves of enemies to deal with. If not, you’ll only have 5. The Marauders are simple enemies only possessing arm cannons to attack with and not much else. But later waves start increasing the amount of chumps you have to deal with and how frequently they attack. After each wave, you get a short scene.

>After 1st Wave<

SONIC: Got em! You ready to go, kid?
ELISE: NO!!!
SONIC: Alright! Take your time! We’ll deal with whatever comes our way!

>After 2nd Wave<

SONIC: Not bad! You ready now?
ELISE: NOOOO!
SONIC: Ok ok! No rush! We’re just… surrounded by enemies here!

>After 3rd Wave<

SONIC: Ready yet!?
ELISE: NOOOO!
MIGHTY: How much did you drink this morning!? Jeez!!!

>After 4th Wave<

They find that Elise had finished pissing….. but then she starts up again with the music to boot. And they THROW their arms up in anger!

ALL: ARRRRRRRRRGH!!!

>After 5th Wave<

SONIC: ARE YOU DONE YET!?
ELISE: ……… ^_^ Ok, I’m done!

Sonic QUICKLY grabs Elise, and rushes out of the area with Mighty, Ray, and Silver in tow. Silver again flies above to give the trio some cover. All you need to do now is continue through the streets. Ray and Mighty will assist you in deal with enemies as Elise is still too vulnerable to danger. All you have to do here is avoid obstacles, bullets, and dive bombs from the now identified Marauders. After a minute of running through the streets, you’ll have to speed up a building as the roadways collapse. Then hit the springs on the side to launch off onto another roof, and keep going from there. Jumping off the building, you’ll find a giant Spagonian warship to the side. Once it spots you, you’ll have to run from it.
Here, the music switches from Crisis City to the trailer version of “His World”. The warship fires a huge volley of missiles at you, and you better be a quick steppin expert to avoid that shit!

ELISE: *screams*
SONIC: CLOSE YOUR EYES!!!! DON’T LOOK BACK!!

After a while of avoiding missiles, Silver, Ray, and even GUN if you didn’t mess them up earlier, will all band together to destroy the Warship to give you a clean get away to the goal!

*Lake*

After this, Sonic takes Elise out of the city to a lake a few miles out.

SONIC: *heavy breathing* Ok. It’s all over, kid! You can open your eyes now!
ELISE: >_< ….. >_o Huh? Where are…
SONIC: I figured you’d probably need some water.

Elise gets off Sonic’s back and looks around the area.

ELISE: …….A lake?
SONIC: Yep! Considering all the fire and brimstone, a little water won’t hurt anyone! If you humans… drink from a lake, that is.
ELISE: …Wait, Geoffrey! Where’s Geoffrey!? He was in the hotel with me!
SONIC: You were the only one I saw in the whole building, I…
ELISE: ……no! No, he was with me in that room!
SONIC: I’m telling you, I didn’t see anyone else!
ELISE: ……..QoQ

And Elise cries in Sonic’s arms.

SONIC: Hey…. hey, it’s alright.

After a while, Mighty, Ray, and Silver all regroup at the lake.

MIGHTY: Yo! How’s the kid!?
SONIC: She’s… she’s fine.

Elise backs off of Sonic and stares at the other 3.

ELISE: …………..Who are you guys?
RAY: I believe your people refer to my people as “Mobians”! Because that’s what we are!
MIGHTY: >_>
SILVER: We come from different dimensions. I’m not what you call a “Mobian”, but a Sylvanian!
ELISE: You look… Mobian to me
SONIC: Asking us all these questions, who are you, kid?
ELISE: Oh…. my name is Elise. I’m the….. O_O Oh no, Daddy!
RAY: You’re a father!?
ELISE: No, I have to call mine! He gets worried sick if something were to happen to me! Do any of you have a phone!?
SILVER: Phone?
SONIC: Sure we do. But I doubt they’ll work in this world!
ELISE: Are they made by Meteo Tech?
ALL: METEO TECH!?
MIGHTY: Aww jeez, they exist in this world too!?
SONIC: Ok, I guess we can lend her one of ours.

Sonic gives her his phone.

ELISE: Huh? This one looks like it was made for a girl!
SONIC: It’s a long story.
MIGHTY: *chuckles*

*Apotos*

The Duke of Apotos paces back and forth after hearing reports of Westopolis’s destruction.

DUKE: I don’t understand! How could Spagonia attack a major tourist attraction!?
GUARD: At the very least, they did not attack Apotos, so their actions were not acts of war, no matter how brazen or bizarre.
DUKE: BUT ELISE WAS THERE! Damn them!!! They will have much to answer for!! So many lives lost!!! Tourists of the UF and Apotos citizens!!
GUARD: If you declare war with Spagonia, that also means war with Shamar and Chun-Nan.
DUKE: The UF have twice the power of those 2 nations!
GUARD: But we don’t! We barely have a military force!

One of the guard’s phones ring.

DUKE: Please, just answer that thing! I don’t wish to hear it’s noise anymore!
GUARD: Hello?
ELISE: Put Daddy on the phone! Please!!!
GUARD: Princess!?
DUKE: WHAT!? *snatches phone* ELISE!? Darling, are you alright!?
ELISE: I’m fine, I’m fine!!! Please don’t start a war!!!
DUKE: No… no, of course not! You’re alive and well, that’s fine by me!! Tell me, did Geoffrey make it!?
ELISE: ……….No….
DUKE: ……………I….I see. Listen, sweetheart, you must return home immediately! If Spagonia led such an attack, they must answer for it!!
ELISE: I don’t think it’s them, Daddy!
DUKE: Who else could it be!?
ELISE: I saw these short… ninjas. They looked like Mobians but I couldn’t tell! They have these puffy arms that shoot!
DUKE: Ninjas with puffy arms that shoot!?
GUARD: Your highness, they could be Marauders!
DUKE: ……..Of course! That explains everything! Thank you sweety! You might’ve prevented an all-out war! But if they’re behind this, then you must return home immediately! Rest assured they will kill anyone they come across! Do you have any escorts?
ELISE: ……Kinda?
DUKE: Good! Ask them to take you to Apotos immediately!!!
ELISE: Ok, ok!
DUKE: I love you, Elise! Please be careful!

They hang up.

GUARDS: We traced the call. Outskirts of Westopolis.
DUKE: GUN is in the area, no?
GUARD: They are!
DUKE: Send them the coordinates so that they can retrieve her! And send whoever we have to find her as well! ….Actually no! I’m going out there myself!
GUARD: NO!!! If the Marauders are here, we cannot risk your life in the process!
DUKE: That’s my little girl out there! I should be the one to-
GUARD: I sympathize, but the risk is too great! We can’t let you leave the premises!
DUKE: I ORDER YOU TO-
GUARD: Sorry, but these were orders from your wife.
DUKE: Of all the nerve!!! How do her orders take priority over mine!?

*Lake*

ELISE: ….Um… excuse me. Could one of you…. take me home?
SONIC: *smiles* Did you even need to ask?
MIGHTY: Yes.
SONIC: *groans* Just give us the directions, and we’re all set!
ELISE: Do you know where Apotos is?
TRIO: Uhhhh…..
ELISE: ……………
SILVER: We’ll find it! Somehow….

This next spot is something of a “transition bonus stage” like Titanic Planes in NS7. Not exactly intended to be a real zone, but more so a time waster. Same rules apply, just run and collect shit.

After that, GUN arrives from behind.

TOPAZ: FREEZE!!!
MIGHTY: Aww jeez, now!?
SONIC: Pff! Took you long enough! We could’ve bought 50 souvenirs waiting for you guys!
SAM: Well that’s good! We’ve got orange jumpsuits for you that’s to die for!
SONIC: How much do those cost?
TOPAZ: How about kidnapping the Princess of Apotos for starters!?
RAY: Princess!? Who, her!?
ELISE: Uh… yeah, I am a princess!
SONIC: Hopefully you don’t like locking up people for giving you a bath!
SILVER: Are you still angry about that!?
MIGHTY: YES!!!
TOPAZ: You’ve got until the count of 5 to release the girl and get on the ground with your hands behind your head!!!
ELISE: STOP!! They didn’t kidnap me!!
SAM: Right! Their friends are probably holding your Dad hostage, and you’re saying anything to get them off his back!
MIGHTY: Wow, you’re about as smart as the dingos back home!
SAM: That’s kind of a low blow.
MIGHTY: Truth hurts, (bleep)ch!
TOPAZ: 1! 2-

Silver then telekinetically SNATCHES their guns out of their hands and points them right back at them!

TOPAZ: What the!?
SAM: Oh hell! Take it easy, kid! Those things are loaded!
RAY: HAHA! Now THIS is a stick up! Nobody move, or our buddy here is going to light this whole field ablaze with your juices!
SILVER: Guys, I don’t know anything about these weapons.
TRIO: >_>
ELISE: You what!?
SILVER: Listen! We are not the aggressors! You attacked us unprovoked! It is YOU who needs to get on the ground!
TOPAZ: Ok. Just calm down! The last thing you wanna do is shoot us down!
MIGHTY: You’re right! It’s the FIRST thing!
ELISE: Now will you listen to me!?
SAM: It’ll be alright, Princess. As soon as… we get our gear back, you’ll be in safe hands!
ELISE: You don’t get it! They saved my life back there!
TOPAZ: Them!?
SAM: Probably a political move to buy favors from the Duke!
SONIC: Who is the Duke!?
SAM: Who’s the… how do you not know the Duke of Apotos!?
ELISE: They don’t even know how to get to Apotos!
TOPAZ: So… what… the hell…. are you all doing!?
TRIO: Uhhhhhhh….
ELISE: They’re trying to get me home! And we’d be closer if you guys didn’t show up!
RAY: That’s right!!!
TOPAZ: Well WE know how to get to Apotos! Maybe if you give us back our firearms, we can show you!
MIGHTY: Right! You buy that!?
SONIC: It ain’t like they can get passed that hard head of yours, Mighty!
TOPAZ: Look, just give us our weapons, and we promise not to do anything to you! Deal?
SONIC: …….

Decision time. You can either [Return Weapons] or [Throw em away]

>Returned<

Silver drops them on the ground.

TOPAZ: NO DON’T-

And one of them goes off and shoots the ground!

SAM: whoa!
SILVER: Oh! So you have to bang them to work?
TOPAZ: YOU IDIOT!! YOU COULD’VE SHOT US!!
SONIC: *laughs* Well, you got your toys back. Now what!?
SAM: Well, we need to get the girl home. That’s what matters right now!
TOPAZ: Agreed. We’ll lead the way. Try to keep up!

>Tossed<

Silver throws the guns out to sea!

TOPAZ: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?
SONIC: Don’t take this the wrong way… but we’ve had some bad experiences back home with GUN! Can’t be too safe!
ELISE: But they could’ve been a greater help to us if something goes wrong!
MIGHTY: Yeah sure! Like we need their help!
SAM: We’re not like those dumbass dogs! Dammit, I really liked that gun, too!
SONIC: How about you just lead the way, huh? We’ll take on any jerks that come our way!
TOPAZ: Grrr…. fine! But don’t blame us if something goes wrong!

Next stop is “Windmill Isle Act 3″…. at Night! No werehoggin here because we all hated that shit. That said, the pacing is no different here than it was in Unleashed, just replace the Gaians with Marauders. They’re crawling throughout the city for an unknown reason. Now, if you gave GUN back their weapons, they’ll be scattered throughout helping to fight against them. If not, you’re on your own. Now, some of the soldiers may get killed here, but that won’t count against you in any way. This is a pretty simple and straightforward act where all you do is fight against simple chumps with crappy arm cannons. That said, if you want to put in absolutely no effort in fighting, Ray is your guy.

Afterward, the Duke is still waiting in the palace, pacing back and forth with anxiety.

DUKE: What’s taking so long!? Westopolis is only a few miles away from Apotos!
GUARD: Sir, please don’t worry. GUN knows what they’re doing!
DUKE: But what if the Marauders got to my little angel first!? I can’t stay here any longer!!
GUARD: It could be what they want! You cannot leave-

Suddenly, the guard is shot!

DUKE: OH NO!!!

Marauders immediately storm the building and surround the Duke!

DUKE: You fiends!! How dare you!!
???: Hold your fire!

Their leader steps into the room. Imperator Ix (what kind of name is “Ix”!? dafuq..)

DUKE: ….Who…. who are you!?
IX: …..Take him away!
DUKE: No!!!

Immediately, Sonic and gang burst through the doors!

SONIC: Hey, look who joined the party!!!
ELISE: DADDY!!!
DUKE: ELISE!!! GET BACK!!
IX: Deal with them! NOW!!!!

The gang starts beating wholesale ass on the Marauders while Ix makes his escape. 2 Marauders grab the Duke and jump out of the window!

SONIC: OH NO!!!
ELISE: DADDYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Silver flies to the window…. only to find that the Marauders had disappeared with the Duke.

SILVER: Blast! They’re gone!
ELISE: Where!? Where are they taking my Daddy!?
SILVER: I… I don’t know! They just…

Topaz’s unit makes it to the room.

TOPAZ: Secure the area! Any Marauders you can find, capture them immediately!
SONIC: Nice job bringing up the rear, guys!
TOPAZ: Shut up! Is the Duke safe?
ELISE: No! Those weird Ninjas took him!
TOPAZ: ……Dammit! This city has been compromised! You 4 are coming with us!
RAY: What for?! We saved the day!
TOPAZ: As witnesses. We’re not arresting you.
SONIC: And if we say “Bite us”?
TOPAZ: Look, we need intel, dammit! And you 4 can assist in that!
SONIC: …..Fine.
MIGHTY: “Fine” my ass! What makes you think we can trust them!?

>Weapons returned<
SONIC: We helped them out earlier, they’ve got no reason to screw us. If they do, we’ll handle it.
>Weapons tossed<
SONIC: At the very least, they can’t argue against the fact that we saved the Princess. They’ll have to give us that much!

TOPAZ: Right. Now can you please come with us?
RAY: Impatient, aren’t we?
TOPAZ: Extremely!
SILVER: I have to go back and let the others know we’re ok.
SONIC: Yeah, that’s a good idea. Thanks Silver!
ELISE: But what about Dad!?
TOPAZ: There’s nothing we can do now, honey. I’m sorry.
ELISE: Q_Q
SONIC: Don’t worry. We’ll get him back.

*GUN Helicarrier*

The trio and Elise were all escorted in with Sam and Topaz to meet Abraham Tower for the first time.

ELISE: Why did they bring us here!? Why can’t we go home!?
MIGHTY: Took the words out of my mouth!
TOWER: I apologize for the abrupt decision to bring you all here. But the situation was dire. The Marauders have invaded the city below, and it’d be a stupid idea to stay down there.

>Weapons returned<
SAM: No big! We took care of your little roach problem!
>Weapons Tossed<
TOPAZ: I agree. We need to restock and make sure it’s all cleaned out!

TOWER: Whatever the situation is, we’ll handle it. But in the meantime, we can’t risk you being hurt or killed.
ELISE: So we have to be stuck here!?
TOWER: It’s for your own safety. I know you just survived a traumatic event, but bare with us for the time being. Now lets get down to business! What the hell happened down there!? Westopolis gets nuked by Spagonians, and the Marauders kidnapped the Duke!?
SAM: Either that, or they can’t keep a lockdown on their military hardware!
TOPAZ: The Marauders led the attack on Westopolis, using Spagonian weapons to guise themselves.
TOWER: They’ve never done anything on a scale like this! What the hell was the point!?
ELISE: Um….
TOWER: ……You know something, Ms?
ELISE: They were….

She seems nervous.

SONIC: Allow me!
TOWER: WHo the hell are you!?
SONIC: I don’t know! Who the hell are you!? Look, I don’t know what a Marauder is, but they were clearly targeting her!
TOWER: How do you figure that?
SONIC: It could have something to do with me dragging her out of the city and being chased by at least 50 friggin missiles!
TOPAZ: Hmm. Maybe their leader intended for her to die so that the Duke would’ve declared war on Spagonia.
RAY: It all makes sense!
TOWER: How so!?
RAY: The Duke probably didn’t like their pastas! So they wanted revenge for being so insulted!!!

Everyone looks at Ray like an idiot.

RAY: With a name like “Spagonia”, how could it not involve pasta!?
TOWER: I don’t know who the hell you are, but this is no laughing matter!
MIGHTY: Don’t pay him any mind, he’s a complete moron!
TOWER: That much is obvious! But it’s clear that the Marauders were trying to incite a global conflict!
TOPAZ: But why!?
TOWER: How should I know? They made an attempt on the Princess’s life in the hopes of sparking war between Apotos and Spagonia. And in doing so would also involve their allies. The UF, the Republic of Chun-Nan, and Shamar. It would be all out war! At the very least, we have these Mobians to thank for averting that!
RAY: So what’s our prize, Johnny!?
TOWER: First thing’s first. We need to transfer the Princess to a facility out of the Marauder’s reach!
ELISE: What!? I don’t want to go anywhere with you!!
TOWER: You don’t have a choice! Those bastards are actively targeting you for extermination! Unless you wanna be turned into kalamari, you have no other options for survival!
ELISE: The answer is no!!!
TOWER: *sighs* (God, I hate kids)
TOPAZ: Sir, with all due respect, it may not be wise to force her into UF custody. Even if we are allies, it could be interpreted as taking a hostage.
TOWERS: Well unless you 2 have better suggestions, she’s coming with us!
SAM: I got one!
TOWER: Then spit it out!
SAM: How about we let these guys look after her?

They all look at the Trio!

MIGHTY: Hell no! You’re not dumping this brat on us!
SAM: It’s not a bad idea! Since we’ve been dealing with the Marauders for years, they likely know our capabilities in and out! These guys? They’re an unknown element! Those chumps won’t know how to deal with them in the slightest! And they’re pretty damn tough if I do say so myself!
TOWER: Yeah… about them. *To Trio* Just how the hell did you get here!?
RAY: Simple! We followed your 2 lackeys into a cruiser that flew us here in this giant ship!
TOWER: I meant this dimension, you goddamned fool!
TOPAZ: We haven’t been able to use the warp gate for several months now. We thought it was a problem on our end.
SONIC: Yeah… the Warp Ring in our world was destroyed.
ELISE: Really?
SONIC: Er… yeah.
TOWER: So again, how did you get here now?
RAY: It’s a looooong story!
SONIC: That island that appeared in the sky? It allowed us to cross dimensions in a really… REALLY convoluted way!
TOWER: So convoluted that you won’t bother telling us out of fear that we might take advantage of it?
SONIC: Pretty much!
TOWER: Fine, don’t tell me. That said, if you’re going to keep secrets from us, it’s gonna be real difficult to trust you!

>If GUN was Spared<
SAM: Well, they didn’t bother kicking our asses when we fired on them, so that’s a plus!
TOPAZ: Though some of us would’ve preferred knocking some sense into you!
TOWER: Even so, it’s a good thing they laid off of you, otherwise the disaster in Westopolis would’ve turned out a helluva lot worse!

>If GUN was killed<
TOPAZ: I’ll say. You took out a lot of good men, no one is going to back you!
SAM: Well we DID shoot at them. Can’t blame them for self-defense.
TOWER: Even so, the devastation in Westopolis would’ve been salvaged if we had the manpower that was lost!
———————-
>Weapons Returned<
SAM: I’m just glad I got ol’ betsy back! You know how much I love this gun?
TOWER: Too much. But it’s good that they did! These things don’t come cheap! And we managed to take out most of the Marauders that infested Apotos’s Capital! At least they understood what “cooperation” means!

>Weapons Tossed<
TOWER: Military hardware doesn’t come cheap! Tossing our equipment out to sea was a stupid move on your part! Thanks to that, getting Apotos cleared of those damned Marauders…. it’ll take weeks to flush em all out!
SAM: And Betsy’s gone! Do you know how much I loved that gun!?
TOPAZ: You act like that rifle was unique!

SONIC: Look, it doesn’t matter what you think of us! Clearly you want our help since you brought us here!
TOWER: Did I say anything about wanting your help!? That was my 2 “lackeys” as you called them! I prefer not having to deal with you furballs. And trusting the Princess in your care is the last thing I’d ever consider!
ELISE: Um… I don’t mind!
TOWER: What!?
ELISE: They seem a lot nicer than you guys!
SAM: Aww come on! I’m nice too!
TOPAZ: Yeah. You’re just obnoxious.
TOWER: Shut up! Both of you! *To Trio* Just answer me this! Can that rock of yours move?
MIGHTY: Move!?
TOWER: If you can cross dimensions, are you able to relocate the damn thing if necessary!?
SONIC: Uh… we should be able to.
TOWER: Find out if you can. Then we’ll discuss who pays room and board for the Princess! Until then, she’ll remain here for the night!
ELISE: *groans*
SONIC: I’m sorry, who made you our boss again?
TOWER: Me! You’re all dismissed!

*Fade to Black*

MESSAGE: GUN TRUST METER! Your actions throughout the game will have ramifications! The GUN Commander doesn’t fully trust you, thus you must prove yourself to be a trustworthy ally! GUN Trust meter amounts will affect the story and gameplay in a number of ways from the amount of assistance you gain from GUN to the kind of perks you get. But that’s only if your trust with GUN is high!

*Apotos*

Sonic gets on the phone with Jet.

SONIC: Hey warhawk!
JET: Don’t you start! I’ve been dealing with everyone else all night!
SONIC: Get used to it! Look, can Sky Babylon move at all?
JET: What do you mean?
SONIC: Can you drive it like a transport ship?
JET: Well…. yeah. So long as you’re aboard. The Aeon Engine still requires a Hedgehog or 3.
SONIC: Good to know. Thanks. We might have some work to do soon.
JET: Wait what kind of-

He hangs up.

MIGHTY: You’re rude, you know that?
SONIC: He deserves it. Well, guess all we can do is tell the other jackass that it can move, and Elise’ll be free.
RAY: You just met the child, why do you care?
SONIC: You guys already know I’m too nice.
MIGHTY & RAY: Yeah…

Back to the 3D Hub. You’ll now have the option of choosing what (2) characters you want to tour around with. Whoever you choose will often have banter with each other based on events that have come to pass. Course all you have at the moment are the main Trio.
Not to mention, you now have access to side missions. Talking to certain NPCs will open up new challenges that can either increase or “decrease” the GUN Trust Meter. Often, missions that deal with defeating Marauders is a sure fire way of increasing GUN trust.

So the (3) side missions here deal with clearing out Marauders, finding a lost balloon for a little kid, and being interviewed for a news special. The latter of which can cost you GUN trust depending on your answers. Leaving town will allow you to enter Zone Select in which you can replay Windmill Isle or Crisis City at the moment. And of course, the shops are stocked with new items. You even get GUN uniforms as costumes! Anywho, ain’t much else you can do but return to Sky Babylon. Doing so will trigger the next scene.

At Night…

SONIC: Alright, guess all we can do is get some shut eye. I bet everyone is still worried about us.
RAY: Only if Jet didn’t say anything to anyone!
MIGHTY: Only one question. How do we get back up there?
SONIC & RAY: Oh…. yeah.

Then they hear rustling in nearby bushes.

MIGHTY: WHO’S THERE!?

Then… they find Elise sneaking out of the bushes!

ELISE: Hi guys!
SONIC: Elise!?
RAY: Hey, it’s the kid!
SONIC: What are you doing here!?
ELISE: I snuck out! Pretty cool, huh?
MIGHTY: How did you sneak out of a friggin Helicarrier!?
ELISE: ^_^ *giggles*
SONIC: Does the giggling come with an explanation!?
ELISE: I may not look it, but I know a little magic trick! I can teleport anywhere I want!
MIGHTY: Teleport!?
RAY: So you know that “Sugar Coco” magic?
ELISE: What? No, I… <_< …. I had a tutor from Mobius teach me a little magic a few years ago. But… the only thing I’ve ever gotten down was teleport and barrier magic.
SONIC: ……..So what you’re saying is I didn’t have to save your behind back in Westopolis?
ELISE: Well, I was too scared to do anything.
SONIC: Sure! You know when they find out you’re gone, they’re gonna lose their crap, right?
ELISE: Who cares!? I don’t wanna be anywhere near those guys! I’ve heard some horrible things about GUN and how heavy handed they are when dealing with other countries.
MIGHTY: I thought they said they were allies with Apotos.
ELISE: My Dad may trust them, but I don’t! Those creeps might benefit from him being kidnapped! Without him, Apotos has no leader, so they could just swoop in and take the throne so they can establish some corrupt policies!
RAY: Either she’s too smart for her age, or she’s really paranoid!
SONIC: Either way, she kinda has a point.
ELISE: So just let me stay with you guys, please!
MIGHTY: What’s that gonna do except piss them off!?
ELISE: Please, I don’t wanna go back to them! All they keep doing is asking all these questions! I’m afraid they might stick needles into me next!
RAY: Yep, definitely paranoid!
MIGHTY: Don’t be stupid! Why would they inflict any kind of injury on a princess and risk international attention?
ELISE: It didn’t stop them from funding a secret militia to overthrow the Sultan of Shamar and installing a puppet leader!
TRIO: …………
MIGHTY: *sighs* You know, I’d be against this sort of thing, but I’m feeling pretty hospitable for some reason.
RAY: Because of big blue eyes!?
ELISE: Eww!
RAY: What!?
MIGHTY: Should we risk it?

[Let her come in secret] -6GT
[Notify GUN] +6GT

No extra scene plays here despite the choices.

SONIC: You know me. Alright kid, I hope you can find a decent bunk!

*Sky Babylon*

I’d probably have that Gaia Temple music play for Sky Babylon. Anywho, the trio returns with Elise in tow. And everyone is excited for their return!

TAILS: HEY! SONIC’S BACK!
MIGHTY: We’re alive too, yah know!
RAY: YEAH!
TAILS: Oh… and those guys too!
MIGHTY & RAY: Those “Guys”!?
SONIC: Thanks for establishing the important one, Tails!
MIGHTY: Get bent, Sonic!
AMY: It’s good to know you’re alright! We wouldn’t know what to do if something were to happen to you all!
MIGHTY: Yeah, thanks for the backup. Silver’s probably the only one that cares!
AMY: Oh Mighty.
BLAZE: We had to ensure that Sky Babylon would face no further threats. Not to mention keeping the Babylonian’s mouth secure.
JET: How many times do I have to apologize before you all get off my back!?
TAILS: That situation could’ve gone better if you didn’t shout at them!
ROUGE: Really, I thought you were better than this, Jet!
JET: Yeah well, I’m not! Get over it! I already told you, I’m not losing this place to a bunch of military meat heads!
SONIC: Whew! No wonder you 2 get along, Mighty! You have so much in common!

Knuckles notices Elise.

KNUCKLES: Who is that little girl?
ELISE: Um…. hi?
SILVER: Wait… you brought the princess here!?
ROUGE: Princess!? The Princess of Apotos!?
ELISE: Yes?
SONIC: Yeah, you guys don’t mind being on your best behavior, do yah? She’s kinda… fragile.
ELISE: I am not!
ROUGE: No! Take her back, Sonic!
MIGHTY: Oh boy.
SONIC: What’s the big deal, Rouge!?
ROUGE: GUN attacked us just for showing up here, they’ll think we kidnapped her or something!
RAY: Don’t worry, you cheater! We’re butt buddies with GUN now!
AMY: You 3 don’t have the best track record with GUN, I would probably not risk it.
ELISE: Huh?
SONIC: Guys, it’s cool. They already agreed to let her stay with us. Besides, she couldn’t wait to get away from them!
ROUGE: ……..This is not a good idea!
SONIC: Well fortunately, we don’t need your approval! If GUN stabs us in the back over her, we’ll be sure to kiss your ass later.
RAY: Hmm!
ROUGE: Don’t get too excited, Ray!
JET: Well I hope you’re right, Sonic! If she becomes a liability, I don’t care what the agreement was! She’s leaving if GUN comes after us!
ELISE: Wow, I’m standing right here, you jerk!
SONIC: Whoa, even the Princess hates your guts! Impressive, Jet!
JET: *groans*
TAILS: Er… well… welcome aboard?

Alright. So in Sky Babylon, you exclusively play as Elise, and it’s here that you can pester the characters with all sorts of questions, basically recapping events from past games as well as getting insights on what they keep a lid on. Sonic has no real convos for you, though.
Mighty gets asked on his temper and his extremely hard shell.
Ray on how he can shoot solar beams and why he’s so happy all the time.
Tails on why he has 2 tails.
Amy on her magic skills.
Jet apologizes for being an ass and explains why.
Rouge on why she would trust GUN.
Silver on his magic and weird hair style.
and Blaze wants to know more about Elise’s status as a princess (oh those things in common!)
Knuckles, however, is off doing something else and will not talk to you. You just get dot dot dot shit from him.

Once you’re done playing 20 questions, Tails will come up to you and show you to Elise’s room.

TAILS: It isn’t much, but you can use this as your private room.
ELISE: Thank you! It’s lovely!
TAILS: ….It is?
ELISE: Well, I don’t get the chance to travel often, so everything here looks so… amazing!
TAILS: Oh. Ok!
ELISE: Hey, I heard from Sonic that this island could cross dimensions?
TAILS: Yeah, it can! It was created thousands of years ago by an ancient race of Babylonians who wanted to explore new worlds! We… sort of used it to escape certain doom!
ELISE: Really?
TAILS: Yeah. Us coming to the human world was more of an emergency landing than a planned destination!
ELISE: Wow.
TAILS: I have to check on some things now. You should probably get some rest. I’ve heard you had it rough. Good night?

Tails leaves.

ELISE: Hey wait… oh.

Elise then heads into bed and goes to sleep.

>>>The Next Morning

Elise wakes up from the sound of children playing.

ELISE: ….What’s that?

Ok, here you take control of Elise again… and you just gotta find your way outside.

From there, Elise, finds the Coconut Crew playing a game of catch!

KYLOK: TOSS IT!
TABBY: I GOT IT!!

In doing so, Tabby almost runs into Elise!!

MUZY: LOOK OUT!!!
TABBY: UH OH!!
ELISE: OH NO!!!

*BANG!!*

Tabby accidentally knocked Elise down!

SETTER: Oh look what you’ve done now!!
TABBY: Oh no!! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!!! I didn’t mean to hit you!
ELISE: I’m fine, really! Don’t panic!
TABBY: Really?
ELISE: Yeah. Just watch where you’re going next time!
TABBY: Oh! Ok!
MUZY: Wow, you’re pretty tough! Wanna play with us?
ELISE: Sorry, I just got up. Maybe some other time?
KYLOK: Ok! See you around, Princess!
ELISE: Bye!

They go back to playing their game. Blaze then walks into the area.

BLAZE: I envy you.
ELISE: Huh? Hey, you’re that cat girl!
BLAZE: Call me Blaze. It’s amazing that you weren’t angered by that.
ELISE: Hey, accidents happen. They didn’t mean to knock me down, so there’s no reason to get mad at them.
BLAZE: I see. I wish I had you to learn from.
ELISE: What do you mean?
BLAZE: Well, I may not look it, but I used to be a princess as well.
ELISE: Wow, really!?
BLAZE: Yep. Princess Blaze of Sylvania, Kingdom of Soleanna.
ELISE: That’s so cool! I never got to meet another princess! But… what do you mean you “used” to be one?
BLAZE: Well, I’m sure some have already told you of why we traveled here in the first place.
ELISE: You were just running away from something, right?
BLAZE: Yes. My world was… destroyed by an incredibly powerful being. And there was nothing we could do to prevent it.
ELISE: That’s awful.
BLAZE: It was. But…. if I am to be honest, it was my doing that brought my kingdom to ruin.
ELISE: What do you mean?
BLAZE: I lost control of my emotions which set loose the creature that brought an end to my world. Were I more like you, it’s devastation would’ve never come to fruition. It’s… vexing to know that a mere child shows more restraint than I ever would.
ELISE: …..But… you’re trying to make up for it. Right?
BLAZE: What?
ELISE: I guess everyone that’s on this island came from your world, right? My father always said that if you make a mistake, you shouldn’t cry about it, but rather do everything you can to make amends for them. Besides, those guys over there seem pretty happy! You must be doing something right!
BLAZE: Huh… You’re absolutely right. Well… I mean, I’m no longer a Princess, but… yes. That’s the best that any of us can do.
ELISE: …..You don’t seem like a bad Princess anyway!
BLAZE: Er…. well, I was…. quite terrible. There was a time when…. I threw someone into a dungeon for… pushing me into a pond.
ELISE: WHAT!? Why would you do such a thing!?
BLAZE: It’s… rather complicated.
ELISE: No it’s not, that’s just cruel and…. REALLY unusual!
BLAZE: I know, I know!

And a little fade out here….

*GUN Helicarrier*

The next morning, Sonic, Elise, Rouge, and Blaze all meet with Tower, Sam, and Topaz.

ROUGE: Long time no see, girl! I see you’re moving up in the ranks!
TOPAZ: Err….
ROUGE: Aww, don’t pretend you don’t remember me!
TOPAZ: How about we focus on the task at hand?
SAM: I wanna know more about how you 2 know each other! More slumber parties with curiously attractive Mobians? I hear those always turn out a little…. “kinky”!
TOWER: Shut your mouth, Speed! We have royalty in our presence! And We’ve got business to attend to! Is that cat supposed to be a diplomat?
BLAZE: Yes. I humbly apologize for the rash actions of our ally yesterday. The transport island belongs to him, and he is territorial.
ROUGE: Not the word I’d use to describe it.
SONIC: Lets cut to the chase. What do you want?
TOWER: That’s more like it. We need to get to the bottom of what happened in Westopolis! Spagonian aircraft and tanks being used to demolish a tourist attraction is going to send a devious message.
ELISE: But everyone should know it’s those armored Ninjas, right?
TOWER: Unfortunately, people are going to have their suspicions. Spagonia isn’t exactly the most trusted nation on Earth, what with their allegiance with Shamar and Chun-Nan, 2 of the most corrupt countries in the world.
SAM: Amongst the UF, sure.
TOWER: I said shut it! Next time, I’m ripping your ass over your head!
ROUGE: Commander, what does that have to do with these Marauders? You’re saying that Spagonia would deliberately work with them to attack the royal family of Apotos?
TOWER: That’s exactly what I’m saying! Apotos and Spagonia are not on good terms with each other, especially after the Princess refused the Prime Minister’s son in marriage.
ELISE: He’s a jerk! I don’t want anything to do with him!
SONIC: Uhhh… she’s only what…. 10? 8?
ELISE: I’m 12!
SONIC: Ok yeah. Ain’t it a little early to be thinking about a wedding!?
TOWER: These things don’t happen instantly, kid. The marriage was to be arranged years later, but the spouses are determined before then.
BLAZE: That’s awful! You’re taking away her choice for a soul mate! That should come from the heart!
ELISE: That’s what I’ve been trying to tell everyone!
TOWER: Look, I don’t make the rules! That’s how the commonwealth of Eurish runs thing, and I’m not about to have anything to do with that.
TOPAZ: It’s still a bit of a stretch. You don’t kill a child just because they don’t want to marry your son or daughter.
TOWER: Is it? An arranged marriage is a power play. The merging of 2 houses creates a stronger nation. Afterall, Apotos has the most powerful naval fleet, and access to cleaner waters, producing the world’s finest seafood. All Spagonia has is cheap pasta and museums. I’d be a little pissed off too if my economy was based on crappy art exhibits.
SONIC: Ok, this whole briefing went over my head! What does any of this have to do with the Marauders?
ROUGE: And how do you have a military force funded by museums!?
TOWER: That’s what you’re going to find out! We have a contact in Spagonia named “Professor Pickle”, and he-

Elise starts giggling.

TOWER: If I may continue-
ELISE: *giggling*
TOWER: Young miss!
ELISE: I’m sorry! He’s named after food!
SONIC: It is kind of a dumb name, you gotta admit!
SAM: Oh, we know!
TOWER: As I was saying, Pickle has been looking into the Marauders for a while now, assisting the Chief Inspector in his investigation. As Spagonia is on bad terms with Apotos, that’s automatically bad news for us. We need you Mobians to get down there and find Pickle! Whatever intel he has could-
ELISE: *giggles*
TOWER: *irritated* Could…. prove… beneficial to our investigation!
SONIC: Well, with you barking orders like that, I hope there’s some compensation!
TOWER: We let you roam the Earth, no questions asked. Now get moving!

On the way to the docking bay.

ROUGE: *sighs* Well he seems friendly!
BLAZE: Military commanders tend to be very strict. The fate of their country lies on their shoulders, they have no choice but to be.
ROUGE: Yeah well, he could learn to relax a little!
ELISE: I think he’s mean.
SONIC: ………
ROUGE: What’s up with you?
SONIC: Soooooooooo………*smiles* Kinky Slumber Parties?
ROUGE: Don’t make me hurt you, Sonic.
SONIC: You know, that could be interpreted in a lot of ways!

ELISE: What are they talking about?
BLAZE: I don’t know, but I don’t like the sound of it! Just ignore them.

*Sky Babylon*

Back in the main hub, you can chat up with the guys about the next destination, but they won’t have much to say. Blaze is excited about the prospects of seeing art, and Ray thinks it’s a city made out of pasta. Knuckles…. still won’t talk to you.

Anywho, new things here, Speedy is now open for business! He’ll set up a requisition shop with GUN equipment that you can buy (it’s really just barriers and lives atm). Honey also opens up her own “beauty boutique” which is just another costume shop.

Talk to Jet so that you can proceed to Spagonia.

JET: Alright kiddies! Ready to go? [You bet!] [Not yet]

Hey, that rhymed! Anywho, a scene plays here with Jet piloting Sky Babylon to the skies of Spagonia. The most overrated/overused location of Sonic Unleashed. We all know Empire City is superior, but SOJ just wants to gas up SOE fans. 😛

JET: Sonic, Amy, Silver! You guys set?
SONIC: Ready and waiting, Jet!
AMY: Hopefully this won’t be as straining as crossing dimensions!
SILVER: I hope so too!
JET: Tails, how we’re looking down below?
TAILS: Aeon Engine is all set and ready to go!
JET: Alright then! Lets get this show on the road!
RAY: You mean the skies!
SONIC & MIGHTY: Shut up, Ray!

And just like that, Sky Babylon could move just as easy as it could float.

*Spagonia*

Hub time. Now, the first time you visit a new town, you will only be able to use pre-selected characters. In this case being Sonic, Mighty, Ray, Tails, and Blaze. After completing all primary objectives, you’ll be able to use whoever you want. Anywho, all you can do here is talk to NPCs and get directions to Pickle’s lab. The shops here are closed due to a string of robberies, and recently a murder. Head up to Pickle’s lab for the next scene.

Elise was indeed traveling with this group, but with a disguise.

SONIC: Ok Elise! Remember to act like a tourist!
ELISE: I am a tourist!
SONIC: I know! I mean… like you’re really out of town!
TAILS: Act like us!
SONIC: Yeah! Like us!
ELISE: So… ask if the buildings are made out of spaghetti?
RAY: A valid question!
MIGHTY: No it’s not!
BLAZE: That’s impossible and absolutely silly! You cannot forge a structure out of food!
ELISE: Actually, you can! The great wall of Chun-Nan was made using rice!
SPAGONIAN: Really!?
ELISE: Yeah! Look it up!
BLAZE: Rice!? Are you absolutely sure!?
ELISE: Yes, I am!
SONIC: Well that can’t be healthy to eat.
TAILS: Well, you really shouldn’t eat that much anyway. Rice has a lot of starch, and-
MIGHTY: Thank you for the unwanted health lesson, Tails!

They finally reach the laboratory.

RAY: Looks like a library!
BLAZE: It seems deserted.
SONIC: Well, we won’t know anything until we get inside.
TAILS: So this guy is a professor? Of what, exactly?
ELISE: I hear he’s into history, and likes to delve into the past!
TAILS: Really!? I can’t wait to meet him!
MIGHTY: Yay for boredom.

However, they open the door….

SONIC: Yo, Professor Pickle! You in tod-

And they find none other… than Dr. Robotnik!

ROBOTNIK: You fools need to keep your voices do-

He turns around to find his greatest foes standing behind him!

ELISE: Dr. Robotnik?
TAILS: *gasps* O_O
ROBOTNIK: ……..YOU!!!
TRIO: IT’S BUTTNIK!!!
BLAZE: Wait, what!?

The trio wastes no time trying to attack him! But… Robotnik summons a armored arm to his limb, and fires a shockwave at the heroes!

SONIC: *coughs* Son of a…

Robotnik dons his “Omega Armor” from waaaay back in NS1.

ROBOTNIK: You would DARE show your flea-bitten hides here!?
MIGHTY: You’re one to talk, fat boy!
RAY: This is a good time to pay you back!
SONIC: Yeah! Don’t think we forgot what you did to Vanilla!!
ROBOTNIK: Then I hope that wench is 50 feat under! You’re going to join her real soon!!!
ELISE: GUYS!!! STOP!!!!

It’s been ages since one fought against Robotnik! Back in his Omega Armor, he shares the same attacks as he did in the original. IE… like Metal Man and Heat Man from MM2, with the additional attacks of laser eyes that scorch the ground, as well as shockwaves from his palms. He can also suck you in closer and strangle the rings out of you if you’re not careful.

Anywho, after knocking him around a bit, Blaze tries to jump in and break up the fight… only for Robotnik to stun her and knock her unconscious!

MIGHTY: BLAZE!!! Oh you asked for it now!!!

Mighty brandishes his Axe and starts swinging like crazy, hitting nothing but air as Robotnik evades him with ease.

ROBOTNIK: Tell me, how does it feel to have no real power to combat me with, unlike your allies!?
MIGHTY: SHUT UP!!

Robotnik then bashes Mighty into a wall, and Tails retaliates with his “Ring Blasters”.

ROBOTNIK: *evil laugh* I see you’ve been improving your weapons technology, Miles!
TAILS: You haven’t seen anything yet, you slime ball!

Sonic tries to sucker punch Robotnik from behind, but he activates his thrusters and backs up into Sonic’s face! Ray fires a Solar beam at him, but the nefarious doctor reflects the beam with a reflective barrier on both Ray and Tails!

Blaze comes to and manages to blast Robotnik out of the building!

ROBOTNIK: GRRR!!!
BLAZE: You will regret ever having struck me!

Blaze shoots several fireballs at him, but to no avail, his armor takes no damage.

ROBOTNIK: There is a trick to these embers.
BLAZE: Precisely!

His Omega Armor begins to rust and power down!

ROBOTNIK: ….Interesting tactic.
BLAZE: This is my spell flare! With it’s power, I can-

Robotnik then fires his eye lasers at Blaze!

BLAZE: Oh!!!
MIGHTY: BLAZE!!!
ROBOTNIK: Activate digital repair systems!

In an instant, the Omega Armor had lost it’s rust!

SONIC: What the hell!?
ROBOTNIK: You are all fools to underestimate my genius!!

He fires lasers at Sonic, Tails, and Ray as they both move about the block! Sonic… is too damn fast to be hit by that shit, so he zig zags back and forth, and then moves in with a spin dash!

ROBOTNIK: HAH!

However, Robotnik had laid out a static net that stuns Sonic in tracks!

SONIC: HRAAAAAAGH!
ROBOTNIK: You’ve never been one to look before you leap!
TAILS: LET HIM GO!!!

Robotnik fires rockets from his gauntlets at both Ray and Tails, and while Ray gets the hell out of dodge, Tails manages to use his battle rings and knock the rocket away from him before charging at the mad scientist. Using his “liquid rings”, he forms an arm cannon and fires several bursts at Robotnik, all of which is blocked by a frontal barrier!

ROBOTNIK: *evil laugh* Brilliant! Had you accepted my offer of friendship, you would be more than a foolish combatant!
TAILS: I’LL NEVER JOIN YOU!!!
ROBOTNIK: A pity, Miles!
TAILS: IT’S TAILS!!

Robotnik thrusts forward and slaps Tails out cold!

SONIC: TAILS!!!
ROBOTNIK: One who does not accept who they are will never evolve to their true potential!
RAY: Good advice, fat man! Now see what it can do!! YAAAAAAA!!!!

Ray fires a massive Solar Beam at Robotnik, countered by his eye lasers!

ROBOTNIK: GRRRR!
SONIC: YEAH! GET HIM RAY!
MIGHTY: YOU GOT THIS!!!

Seemingly, Ray had the advantage as his Beam was forcing Robotnik back!

RAY: Well well! Looks like someone isn’t so hot with the tech!

But then, Robotnik moves out of the way, allowing Ray’s Beam to impact a building, while he moves to the side and blasts Ray into another!

RAY: YAAA- *crash*
SONIC & MIGHTY: OHH!!
ROBOTNIK: Looks like someone isn’t so hot with “Tact”!
BLAZE: Mighty, he’s distracted! We have to strike now!
MIGHTY: GOTCHA!

Sonic, Mighty, and Blaze all attack Robotnik at once!

ROBOTNIK: Naive little vermin.

He immediately spins around, and knocks the 3 about!

ROBOTNIK: Utterance of idealistic advantages! What glory could you hope to achieve!?

The 3 land on the ground.

ROBOTNIK: You dare set foot in my world, and assume I would not have the home field advantage!?
SONIC: *chuckles* You love hearing yourself talk, huh?
ROBOTNIK: I despise how you take such joy in your own demise!
SONIC: Nah, I just love it when you’re so cock sure of yourself!
ROBOTNIK: How often must I force you to eat the dirt before you submit to your better!?
SONIC: Depends on who’s really better! I never did get the chance to use my new powers on your fat ass, now’s a good time as any!

Sonic breaks out his “Kinetic Sabers”!

ROBOTNIK: Impressive! Weaponizing kinetic energy! It’s one of my favorite new hobbies!
SONIC: Say what!?

Robotnik then generates 2 giant, red “Kinetic Blades” from his gauntlets!!

SONIC: OoO; No way!!
ROBOTNIK: Don’t assume I’ve not taken notice of your new found abilities, nor having adequate counter measures for them!!!

They both charge at each other and clash swords several times! However… Sonic held the advantage! His smaller frame combined with his trademark speed was enough to overwhelm the Omega Armor!

ROBOTNIK: DAMN YOU!!!
SONIC: YOU’RE TOO SLOW!!!

Robotnik falls back and tries to use ranged weaponry, but Sonic is… again, too fast!

Tails gets out of the ground and watches the fighting closely.

TAILS: …….Something’s… not right.
ROBOTNIK: (All I need to do is lure him into a false sense of victory… and then…)

Robotnik had placed a trap behind him, the same static net that trapped Sonic earlier! Robotnik jumps behind said trap and feigns defeat!

SONIC: NOW YOU’RE TOAST!
ROBOTNIK: (Hmph!)

Tails gets up and blasts both Robotnik and the net!

ROBOTNIK: WHAT THE… MILES!?
SONIC: BLUE STAR!!!
ROBOTNIK: WHAT!?

Sonic then jumps up and tosses a ball of kinetic energy, knocking Robotnik into another building!

ROBOTNIK: GRAAAAAAAAAH!!
SONIC: THANKS, BUDDY!
TAILS: No problem!

The evil doctor quickly gets out from the rubble.

ROBOTNIK: How!?
SONIC: Come off it! I saw that lame ass trap long before you planted it! You ain’t THAT slick!
ROBOTNIK: And yet you are down 3 allies! None of them can stand against me! And in the end, you still needed backup!
SONIC: Hmm! That sounds like a good idea!

Sonic then summons kinetic energy in the form of orbs… and then spreads them to his allies! Mighty, Ray, Tails, and Blaze are all imbued with Kinetic Energy!

ROBOTNIK: What did you do!?
SONIC: A little something I call “sharing the wealth”! LETS DO THIS!!!

They all charge at Robotnik and… well… they beat his ass! Zipping back and forth at such an alarming speed, they overwhelm the scientist!

RAY: No snappy comebacks!?
MIGHTY: What’s wrong, Mr. Badass!?
TAILS: Too much to handle!?
BLAZE: It would appear you’ve met your match, Doctor!
SONIC: Too bad it’s all over! FOR YOU!!!!
ROBOTNIK: YOU VILE INSECTS! I’LL EXTERMINATE YOU ALL!!!!

Robotnik unleashes a large radial explosion of kinetic energy that blows the others back, and completely drains them all of their kinetic energy!

ALL: AAAAAAAARGH!!!

*crashing and banging*

They all crawl from the rubble.

BLAZE: For a man of science, he is certainly ruthless!
SONIC: Tenacious bastard, huh!?

Sonic then rushes out of the debris, and charges Robotnik again!

ROBOTNIK: I WILL KILL YOU HERE AND NOW!!

Robotnik brandishes his kinetic blades and charges at Sonic!

Before these titans could clash, however…

ELISE: STOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!

Elise jumps in between them and holds her arms out!

SONIC: OH NO!!!!!
ROBOTNIK: BLAST!!!

They both skid on the ground, trying desperately to slow down! As they do, Sonic’s nose barely touches Elise’s hand!

SONIC: Sheesh!
ELISE: BOTH OF YOU! STOP FIGHTING NOW!!!
ROBOTNIK: Stupid girl! GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!
ELISE: NO! If you keep fighting, you’ll destroy the whole city!
SONIC: Elise, get back! This guy is dangerous!
ROBOTNIK: Elise!? The princess of Apotos!?
SONIC: It’s a pretty common name, Buttnik! How would you know who she is!?
ROBOTNIK: Obviously, you don’t know how idiotic her father’s laws are about naming children! Why is she with you!?
ELISE: Because I asked to be! Why are you trying to kill him!?
ROBOTNIK: The antipathy we have for each other has nothing to do with you!
ELISE: But they’re my bodyguards! So I’m ordering you to stop fighting!
ROBOTNIK: Even if you had any real authority at your tender age, you cannot command a citizen of Spagonia to do your bidding! Now stand aside!
SONIC: Hmph! Those Marauder attacks are starting to make sense!
ROBOTNIK: Marauders!?
MIGHTY: *coughs* Figures you’d know a thing or 2 about em! What type of ransom are you running, fat boy!?
ROBOTNIK: What idiocy are you spouting!? You would dare suggest I would align myself with those scoundrels!?
TRIO: HELL YEAH!
RAY: There is no lie too great for you to hide behind!!! We know your evil inside out!
ELISE: No, you have it all wrong! Dr. Robotnik is the Chief Inspector of Spagonia!
ALL: WHAT!?
MIGHTY: The hell he is!!!
TAILS: Who would trust this creep with investigations!?
SONIC: So he can cover all of his dirty tracks!!!
BLAZE: I don’t know what’s going on here, but have to leave now before the authorities come! We’ve made too much of a mess as it is!
SONIC: You know all about that, don’t you?
BLAZE: This isn’t the time for your horrid sense of humor, Sonic!
ROBOTNIK: Well at least one of you rodents has some sense!

*Inspector’s office*

Sonic and friends meet with Robotnik in his home office.

BLAZE: Running away from enforcers of the law. I never thought I would see the day.
MIGHTY: Welcome to plebian life, Blaze! You’ll get used to it.
ROBOTNIK: So let me get this straight. The Marauders have kidnapped the Duke of Apotos, and now his darling little brat is traveling with you to get Daddy back?
ELISE: You don’t have to be so condescending!
RAY: Is it wrong to ask for you to use smaller words?
ROBOTNIK: Agreed. I’m certainly in no mood for the village idiot to feel inadequate compared to a child who’s only a quarter of his age.
RAY: Up yours, egghead!
ROBOTNIK: Call me that again, and I will force your powers against you and turn you into a home cooked meal!
SONIC: Sounds like you’ve got something against the old duke!
ROBOTNIK: Nothing that concerns you, but no, I do not.
ELISE: So why are you so…
ROBOTNIK: Because frankly, I could care less about what happens to Apotos! It’s about high time they stopped setting the tone of laws that get put on the books!
SONIC: Not like you’ve been around here much to take the brunt of those laws, you’ve been too busy terrorizing OUR world!
ROBOTNIK: With all the satisfaction in the world, I might add.
SONIC: You son of a-
ROBOTNIK: Prior to the year before, I took many trips back to this world to attend to matters here. In addition to maintaining my company, I am also the Chief Inspector of Spagonia, taking over for the late Maximilian Acorn.
MIGHTY: I bet you killed him to get the job!
BLAZE: You 3 are being antagonistic.
TAILS: And for good reason! In our world, he was the biggest terrorist known to Mobian kind! He’s pure evil!
SONIC: And all fingers point to him being behind these Marauder attacks!
ELISE: That’s not true! He’s often fighting the Marauders! Everytime they come out of hiding, he’s the one everyone calls to deal with them!
SONIC: Even though he already says he’s not interested in helping your Dad!
ELISE: Erm….
ROBOTNIK: *sighs* No one said anything about not assisting her. It’s YOU who’s going to be the problem! My absence from the last year in a half has led to their steady increase.
RAY: And who’s fault is that?
ROBOTNIK: Obviously, it’s yours!
BLAZE: I’m sorry, this seems a little… faulty. How can a single inspector be able to ward of these Marauders?
ROBOTNIK: I don’t believe I’ve hit you so hard that you cannot recall the thrashing I was giving you all.
MIGHTY: Elise, I’d love your permission to pound this fat bastard into the ground!
ELISE: No!
TAILS: You have to admit, she has a point. I’ve looked at the map of this continent. It’s pretty huge. How are you able to cover this whole landmass?
ROBOTNIK: Most of their activity is kept to a minimum unless it goes unchecked. It’s likely they’ve grown confident in my absence and have escalated their efforts to engulf the world into a war.
SONIC: And… you’ve got absolutely, 100%, NOTHING… to do with any of that?
ROBOTNIK: If I did, you would not be here! I have no interest in destroying my home. It is, afterall, my birthplace.
SONIC: So you’d rather destroy our home!?
ROBOTNIK: On the contrary… I’d rather conquer it!! What better way to honor my family’s legacy than to prove their strength through conquest!?
ELISE: You would take over someone else’s home!? That’s horrible!
ROBOTNIK: Well, I am a horrible person, Princess!
RAY: See!? He admits it!
MIGHTY: Can we beat his ass now!?
ELISE: Not yet!
ROBOTNIK: “Yet”?

BLAZE: We’re wasting time. We’ve come for the one named “Professor Pickle”. We were told that he was assisting the Chief Inspector, whom you just so happened to be! He had intel on the Marauders and their plans!
ROBOTNIK: ………………..Pickle….. is dead.
ALL: WHAT!?
ELISE: But… why!?
ROBOTNIK: The Marauders beat you to punch. What ever information he had was damning enough that they stormed the city and murdered him in his sleep. He never had a chance.
SONIC: Yeah. One of those Marauders was shaped like an egg!
ROBOTNIK: You’re free to believe what you wish. The fact is I have nothing to do with his murder.
RAY: Right! What’s to stop us from NOT trusting your word?
ROBOTNIK: ………The Marauders murdered my father!
ALL: ……>_>
RAY: I’m sorry, what!?

Robotnik tosses down a file containing a report of Kinto’s murder 16 years ago.

ROBOTNIK: You can skim that and get whatever details you want. Just know that it would reprehensible to seek an alliance with those who took the life of your loved ones if only to seek a common goal. Those who wish to do evil against my family are no friends of mine, I can assure you of that.
TAILS: But…. Kinto Robotnik was a friend to all Mobians. Why would the Marauders target him?
ROBOTNIK: It’s a long, convoluted story, but it all goes back to that damned Ark Incident.
BLAZE: In that case, we can’t afford to go through so much past history. If Pickle is no longer with us, his work must’ve been passed on to someone else. It would have to be you!
ROBOTNIK: Unfortunately, no.
BLAZE: ……Then we have no leads to go on. Do we?
ROBOTNIK: Not quite. Pickle did have… an assistant. He never misses an opportunity to pass on his notes to her for safe keeping.
SONIC: Then we need to find her, and fast! Where is she?
ROBOTNIK: She’s not in town. Outside of the city. 60 miles out.
ALL: WHAT!?
MIGHTY: How the hell can she be an assistant and she lives that far out!?
ROBOTNIK: A safety precaution. Pickle’s research had a nasty habit of attracting… “opposition”. So for her safety, she lives on the outer limits of the country.

SONIC: This sounds like a trap!
ROBOTNIK: You goddamned fool! I was never expecting you to come here in the first place! Why would I bother setting up a trap specifically for you in this world!?
SONIC: Grrrr..
RAY: I don’t like where this is going!
ROBOTNIK: You don’t have to! An alliance… may be necessary in this case. The mere mention of such a thing boils my blood!
ELISE: So why mention it at all?
MIGHTY: Sonic, we can’t team up with this jackass!
TAILS: Think of everything he;s done to us!
SONIC: Who said I was even considering it!?
BLAZE: I am!
TRIO: WHAT!?
MIGHTY: Blaze, you don’t know this ass(bleep) as well as we do! We know what he’s capable of!
BLAZE: I’m aware of that. However, he has more information than all of us! We can’t afford to fight him now. These Marauders are clearly a bigger threat than he is now. What has Robotnik done at this moment in comparison to the Marauders?
MIGHTY: Nothing…. YET!
BLAZE: Exactly, making him the lesser of 2 evils.
MIGHTY: You’ve gotta be kidding me!!
TAILS: He’ll turn on us eventually! I just know it!
ELISE: Well… what else can you do?
SONIC: Don’t take his side, Elise! You have no idea what he’s done to us!
ELISE: Sonic… they have my Dad! I don’t know what they’re going to do to him!
SONIC: Er…
ELISE: Please, just this once! I want to see him again!
SONIC: ……Oh… DAMMIT! I just know I’m gonna regret this!
ROBOTNIK: The feeling is mutual!
SONIC: ……Alright, fatboy! Lead the way!
ROBOTNIK: Good. First, we will need to locate the train station. It’s quite a trek.

OK! After that cutscene, you immediately get the next zone which is… you guessed it… “Rooftop Run” …. god that is a stupid zone name! Eh, can’t blame em for that, I wouldn’t know what to call this place either. But I can blame for that shit sack of a soundtrack!

Much better! Anywho, considering the guys made a mess of things earlier, you’ll have to contend with police. Now, similar to Windmill Isle Act 2, you’ll want to avoid having to beat them up here. Otherwise, you’ll be docked a few points of GT per enemy killed…. for obvious reasons. Unless you’re all like “FUCK THE POLICE”, and I wouldn’t blame yah… for, again, obvious reasons. Zone gimmicks here would be left unchanged outside of having to use those goddamn balloons to bounce up to higher platforms, that shit was always annoying. Would NOT leave them in. Probably have more distinguishable building colors so the whole area doesn’t look all boring and brown. No I don’t give a shit if Unleashed was trying to replicate real world cities, Spagonia looks boring and drab as fuck despite how celebratory that whole zone was with it’s balloons and confetti and shit… I’m sorry, Spagonia is so overused and it’s not for any good reason. It’s a very boring zone. I’d rather they use Chun-Nan or Empire City, at least the latter has better music… even if the buildings are all one color as well. Or better yet, go for the nighttime version with that awesome spy music! Just… have… good taste, Sega! Goddammit! It’s like they deliberately choose the most UNCOOL elements of the Sonic series by default and jack off to them all the time. And goddammit, I’m rambling again.

Anywho, after completing the zone, the group all catch a ride on the nearest train. Sonic and friends glare at Robotnik.

ROBOTNIK: …..Yes. Feed me your hostility! Pierce me with your hatred! All your glares serve to do is validate the power I hold over you all!
MIGHTY: Can we kill him now?
ELISE: No!
RAY: We can make it look like an accident!
TAILS: Really?
BLAZE: Would you 4 stop already? For the time being, he is on our side. All we can do is trust that he won’t turn his blade against us.
ROBOTNIK: So long as you do nothing to warrant such an action.
SONIC: …….So, where’s that annoying ass robot you like to travel with?
ROBOTNIK: He’s currently in my abode, undergoing repairs.
RAY: Are they good for anything?
ROBOTNIK: Despite Bomb’s constant bouts of idiocy, he and Heavy provide me with much needed assistance time again.
MIGHTY: You ever think about programming Bomb to shut the hell up once in a blue moon!?
ROBOTNIK: All the time. However, doing so would interfere with his basic functions. A… miscalculation during my youth.
SONIC: Your youth!?
TAILS: Wait a sec…. your assistants are antiques!?
ROBOTNIK: *glowing eyes* They’re NOT antiques, you ignorant fox! Certainly weren’t old enough that you couldn’t find ways to improve them!
SONIC: Yeah, it’s a pity! A 10 year old had to make your inventions worth a damn!
ELISE: *giggles*
ROBOTNIK: You find that funny!?
ELISE: Kinda.
TAILS: You gotta admit, it is a shame! How can you be our greatest enemy, and you can’t even upgrade your 2 oldest robots so that they’re at the best they can be?
ROBOTNIK: I don’t think that’s a fair comparison, Miles! Afterall, you crafted an AI so advanced that it wanted to destroy all life in the world!
TAILS: Grrrr!!
MIGHTY: Yeah, I bet that just burns your ass that you’re getting one upped by a kid!
ROBOTNIK: How is it that the most useless member of your group is free to speak on the merits of others, and all he can offer is a thick skull and a nasty disposition?
BLAZE: Will you all just stop!?

Then, the train stops abruptly!

SONIC: Hey! What’s going on!?

They all look out of the windows to find that the Marauders were attacking the train!

ROBOTNIK: What the…. it’s them!
SONIC: I knew this was a trap!
ROBOTNIK: If it was, I wouldn’t be in here, would I!?
ELISE: ….Do they know I’m here!?
ROBOTNIK: It’s the most probable cause! You fools should’ve left her in a safer place!
BLAZE: This is no time to argue! We have to force them back, now!
SONIC: Yeah! We’ll deal with fat boy later!

Next zone is “Radical Train”. I had no issues with the original so most of the elements here I would keep. The beginning of Act 1 takes place on top of the train, but as soon as it hits a tunnel, you (and player 2) will be knocked off and well have to travel through mountains like so. All the enemies here are Marauders (duh!). Act 2 is a mach speed zone where you have to get back on the train.

Afterward, Robotnik is still on the train trying to activate his Omega Armor if only to keep Elise safe. However, the wrist watch he uses to activate it is shot off!

ROBOTNIK: WHAT!?
ELISE: *Screams*

A “female Marauder” had leapt through the window!

???: Dr. Robotnik! I have found you at last!
ROBOTNIK: To whom do I owe the honor of death!?
???: The daughter of the one you murdered!!!
ROBOTNIK: What!?

She then jumps up for a jummp kick, but Robotnik manages to avoid her attack! But then turns around and uses her arm cannon to shoot Robotnik in his arm!

ROBOTNIK: GRAAAH!!

He falls to the ground, holding his arm in pain as the girl steps on top of him, cannon at the head!

ROBOTNIK: Grrrr…. you’ll never get a cleaner shot, you wench!

Elise grabs a random object and throws it at her head! Then she runs at her!

ELISE: LEAVE HIM ALONE!!

The female Marauder turns around and quickly slaps Elise to the ground!

ROBOTNIK: You devil! Leave her out of this!
???: She will not die before you, I will assure that!

Just then, Blaze reappears and shoots fire at her, knocking her off of Robotnik!

???: Grr! Who!?
BLAZE: You would dare strike a Princess? Have you no shame!?
???: It’s only a title. She holds no more power than you would!
BLAZE: We’ll see about that!

This would be a short boss fight against this Marauder. She sports a bo-staff similar to Nightwing from Injustice in that it was stun rods on both ends. This is a rather simple fight as all she does is shoot from a corner and runs in for an attack. As Blaze, all you have to do is wait for the bitch to run into a corner and then scratch as soon as she starts shooting.

After the fight, Blaze kicks the Marauder into a door to the next car!

???: You!
BLAZE: Give up now! Perhaps you’d have more of an advantage if you had more open space!
???: This isn’t over, (bleep)ch!

The Marauder then escapes!

Later, the trio had returned with Sonic wiping Elise’s face, and Tails wrapping Robotnik’s wound.

SONIC: You ok?
ELISE: I’m fine. I’m not the one that got shot.
ROBOTNIK: Hmph!
SONIC: Heh! You’re pretty tough for a Princess!
BLAZE: And what’s THAT supposed to mean, Sonic!?
TAILS: I can’t believe I’m helping you of all people.
ROBOTNIK: Believe me, child, this hurts me more than it hurts you! *grunts in pain*
TAILS: Would you hold still!?
ROBOTNIK: THEN BE MORE CAREFUL!!!
MIGHTY: Don’t worry about it! He wants to be a little wuss about it, give him all the pain in the world!
RAY: So I guess he’s telling the truth.
ROBOTNIK: Rest assured, a deception would not involve sustaining an injury like this!
BLAZE: That girl who inflicted the wound mentioned that he murdered her father. She was ready to kill him in an instant. This more than anything vindicates everything we’ve heard. He is an avowed enemy of the Marauders.
RAY: Yeah, well I still don’t like him!
ROBOTNIK: The feeling is mutual.
BLAZE: Well like it or not, we may need his help in the future. Go back to being enemies when this is all over!
SONIC: Psh, yeah, fine. Whatever.
ROBOTNIK: If dealing with those cretins means not having to be surrounded by you, then let us make haste!

*Middle of Nowhere*

The group makes their way to a small hut in the mountains.

SONIC: This is the spot!?
ROBOTNIK: Hard to believe, I know. But it’s a safer location than the City.
ELISE: But if the Marauders are here, then she isn’t safe!
ROBOTNIK: So lets get this over with!

Robotnik marches up to the hut, still reeling in pain. And… he bashes the door open…. only to be greeted by LOUD ASS TECHNO MUSIC!! Ray immediately covers his ears!

RAY: AAAAAAAAAAACK! *faints*

They all find “Marine the Raccoon” on a tall table, working on an invention while 2 big ass stereos play in the background. (think the scene where “Peni Parker” was making a new goober in Spider-Verse)

ROBOTNIK: *covers ears* YOU IMBECILE!! TURN OFF THAT DAMNED RACKET!!!!

MARINE: Hmm? Oh, guests!

Marine turns off her music and climbs down her abnormally large table to greet her guests.

MARINE: Well, aren’t you just rude as usual, Eggman!
ALL: “Eggman”!?
ROBOTNIK: You will never refer me as that name again!
MARINE: Ah yes, the childhood trauma of being bullied because of that birth defect!
ROBOTNIK: GRRRRR!
TAILS: Birth defect!?
ROBOTNIK: Shut up! It is not important!
MARINE: Hey, where’s those 2 annoying robots of yours!?
ROBOTNIK: They’re in for repairs. Traveling via certain means had strained their CPUs.
MARINE: Ahhh, that’s why it’s so peaceful! If you let me program them, they wouldn’t have this sort of problem!
ROBOTNIK: You insult me by even suggesting that I would allow my creations to be handled by a Mobian!
TAILS: You let me upgrade them!
ROBOTNIK: You did so without my approval, and behind my back!
TAILS: Oh yeah.

Marine starts plucking at Tails’s butt!

TAILS: HEY!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
MARINE: I just have to know how you have 2 butts! It’s strange how you have 2 tails! Are you some sort of mutant!?
TAILS: *backs away* GET OFF!!! What’s wrong with you!?
MIGHTY: Does that count as molestation?
SONIC: Don’t ask.
ELISE: Hey guys, is Ray dead?

Then Ray springs off the ground!

RAY: HEY! What’s the big idea playing that loud stereo, granted it was awesome music!?
MARINE: Oh, I don’t know! What’s the big idea bursting through my door without so much as a knock?
RAY: Touche! But your ears should be nothing but jello!
MARINE: But if they were, I wouldn’t be able to listen to my “awesome” music, dumb dumb!
RAY: Dumb dumb!?
MIGHTY: Twice the dumbass! It suits you!
BLAZE: ENOUGH! We have important matters to discuss. We have reason to believe that you have intel on the Marauders entrusted to you by Professor Pickle.
ROBOTNIK: They have resurfaced recently, and led a deadly attack on Westopolis, in addition to abducting the Duke of Apotos. Tis why the little princess is with us now.
MARINE: Oh! That’s why you’re with these guys!
ELISE: Yeah.
MARINE: So why don’t you go to him first? You didn’t have to travel 60 miles out of town just to meet me! He’s right around the corner from where you live.
ROBOTNIK: Pickle is dead.
MARINE: O_O……. What!?
SONIC: Yeah. The Marauders got to him before we could.

Marine steps back a little…. then turns around and walks away a little more…. and then falls to the ground, crying like a little kid with a tantrum.

TAILS: >_>;
SONIC: Oh… silly me! For a second there, I thought this scene was gonna get heavy!
ROBOTNIK: Everyone has their ways of coping with loss, just give it a minute.

Marine immediately rises from the ground, drying her tears in a milisecond.

MARINE: Ok, I’m done! Whatcha need, Eggman!? I’m ready for some payback!
ROBOTNIK: Stop calling me that! Did Pickle leave you with any information that would put him at risk for assassination? A packet? a disk drive?
MARINE? Mmm… he left me an email!
ELISE: An email!? That’s not secure at all!
MARINE: Might’ve been in a rush, or didn’t care! Lets go check it out!

Inside the hut, Marine checks her email.

BLAZE: So an Email is something that is written on this… device?
ELISE: Yep! And it’s called a computer! You never had this back in your world?
BLAZE: We merely used Babylonian delivery to send a message.
MARINE: Got it! *Reading* “Marine, I don’t have a lot of time. The Dark Brotherhood have discovered me, so I will likely perish. I have marked off on this map a list of potential enclaves in which the Marauders have set up base! Please, send this to the Chief Inspector and alert the United Federation! They will threaten the entire world! I’m counting on you!”

And below that was a map of the world showing specific locations of Marauder hideouts.

TAILS: So he knew they would be after him.
ROBOTNIK: And that he would not escape their wrath. Pickle’s hunches are never wrong, knowing him. Download that image to a disk drive!
ELISE: You think my father would be in one of them?
SONIC: Only one way to find out! Lets get this over to Tower, Pronto!
MARINE: I’m coming too!
RAY: What!? Why!?
MARINE: Uh… lets see. Revenge, adventure, scientific curiosity, that sort of thing.
BLAZE: This is not a journey of personal gain, you child! Lives are at stake!
MARINE: Chill, Ice queen! I’ve got that all covered with THIS!

Marine takes out….

RAY: A gun?
MARINE: Not just A gun! THE GUN!!! The Variable Trigger is a multi-purpose laser rifle capable of 101 functions and firing types! It can act as a flamethrower, a lightning gun, an ice shard shooter-
SONIC: Yeah yeah, we get it! It’s a VERY impressive weapon! Do you know how to use it?
MARINE: Well, I didn’t have an opportunity to test it until now!
MIGHTY: Yeah, no thanks! I’m not dying for science!
MARINE: You won’t as long as you have me backing you up! Maybe…
RAY: No, don’t worry about it! I’m the gun!
MARINE: You’re too dumb to be of use to anyone.
RAY: SAY WHAT!?
ROBOTNIK: I agree, but you’re too much of a liability with an untested weapon.
MARINE: And you’re a liability with your weight problems! What’s the difference!?
ROBOTNIK: I’m better than you?
MARINE: Says the fat man who can’t repair his minions!
SONIC: Ok, look, you can tag along, but just make sure you don’t get anyone killed. Got it?
BLAZE: Are you sure? She might do more harm than good.
SONIC: If life’s taught me anything, it’s always the misfits that turn out the most useful!

*Sky Babylon*

Back in control of Elise, you now have the opportunity to purchase Action Triggers for Marine. The Flamethrower, Lightning Gun, and Shard Reaper (yes, I took that name from Ratchet and Clank) are all available. You also get a vacuum trigger for free!
Everyone on board merely bitches about getting help from Robotnik, with the exception of Silver and Blaze as they both don’t really know him. To continue on, talk to Marine for a scene.

ELISE: Hey… are you ok?
MARINE: Ok? I’m better than ok! I’m out of the hut for a reason other than losing my trinkets to those meddling birds! You have no idea how rude they are! Always swooping in stealing the rats that I was dissecting-
ELISE: No, I mean how everyone…. doesn’t even know you’re here. Everyone’s so worried about Robotnik, but they haven’t even spoken to you yet. I thought you’d be sad.
MARINE: Yeah right! This is even better! That way I can snag a few hair samples and no one would notice! You know how perfect a clone I could make with just one follicle!? Imagine a clone of that red guy who’s white with red gloves!? Or Sonic if he were green with a black forehead! Or maybe if they were yellow and pink! Oh the wonders I could create!
ELISE: ….So you’re a mad scientist?
MARINE: No, I’m a HAPPY scientist! I’ve got no reason to mad when I have so many test subjec-I mean…. friends! I mean… I would TOTES not try to put any of you into a cooking vat! Maybe. Then again, that bird guy looks delicious!
ELISE: ….Are you crazy!?
MARINE: Depends! Crazy people tend to hear things and….. Shhh! What was that!? I heard mice!

Then Marine SMACKS her nose into the ground and starts…. “sniffing” the ground and walking away doing so. Sonic then walks by.

SONIC: Is she smelling the floor!?
ELISE: ….She scares me!
SONIC: Er… just give her some time. She’ll be a part of the group and you won’t even notice. I hope…

*GUN Helicarrier*

Sonic meets with Tower alone.

TOWER: It’s a shame that we lost Pickle, but at he left us with something. If the Marauders have set up camp across the planet, we’re in deep trouble!
SONIC: So spill it! Where are we headed next?
TOPAZ: The old abandoned museum of art and history. Not a bad place to set up a base.
SONIC: Why would a museum be a good hiding place?
SAM: The guy who designed it had a sick sense of humor.
TOWER: That museum was crafted like a labyrinth. Maze like in it’s layout. The designer said he wanted people to… “lose themselves in the nation’s rich history”.
SONIC: And the city approved of that!?
TOWER: Why don’t you ask Ivo the details when you meet with him? He’s down below waiting for us.
SONIC: What’s he gonna do!?
TOPAZ: He knows this city better than all of us. And we’re sending boots on the ground, so if things go south within their base, we’ll be ready!
TOWER: Techniically, we’re not supposed to send troops into a foreign nation that isn’t partnered with the United Federation unless in the case of an emergency, but this is an opportunity we can’t miss. Get whoever you need and head down to the surface!

>If you kept Elise’s escape a secret<
TOWER: Oh, and before I forget.
SONIC: Huh?
TOWER: Next time the royal brat runs away, be sure to alert us! Our men spent all morning looking for her!
SAM: I got a cramp from the Commander barking orders!
TOWER: I’ll do a helluva worse if you keep whining! Now get moving!

*Spagonia Streets*

Sonic, Ray, Blaze, and Marine, all meet up with Robotnik, Sam, and Topaz.

ROBOTNIK: So you’ve accepted the burden of Marine? You certainly are determined to get yourself killed!
SONIC: She’s the least of my worries! Being around you is bad enough for my health!
ROBOTNIK: The feeling is mutual!
SONIC: Will you stop saying that!?
TOPAZ: Alright Doctor, you know the way to the Museum. Lets get a move on before anyone notices we’re here!
ROBOTNIK: We’ll take the back alleys and stick to the shadows.

Act 2 of Rooftop Run… should be called “Back Alley run” since most of the nighttime stage took place on the streets. There are no enemies to speak of, but the act is more of a maze of platforms and tunnels and other stuff. I’d keep the music the same because that one was actually good!

Afterward, they find the Museum intact but completely empty.

SAM: Nobody home.
ROBOTNIK: Damn! They must’ve relocated to a more secure location!
TOPAZ: Don’t fret! They might’ve left something behind that could lead us to them. Split up and fan out for any clues you can scrounge up!

Here is a mini 3D Hub where you play as Ray. You don’t really have to find anything, but finding hidden messages and secrets in the artifacts and paintings will net you an additional 3 GT. To actually continue on, just head up the second floor, and Marine will follow you.

MARINE: So how did you get solar powers anyway?
RAY: Beats me! Who knows why I’m so awesome!?
MARINE: Ahh, must be some sort of radiation! Afterall, it causes you a lot of hallucinations!
RAY: “Hallucinations”!? I’ll have you know that I am the most powerful member of this posse!
MARINE: I rest my case! You can’t be the strongest one when you’re so lacking in the upperstory!
RAY: You’re rude! How would you even know how smart I really am!?
MARINE: I have a friend in Mobius that taught me how to identify people’s traits just by looking at them! And you… are a big pervert!
RAY: I think your friend should refund that advice!
MARINE: I rest my case again! That doesn’t make a lick of sense!

Make your way up to the attic (Hehe) and you’ll find CAMEOS! There is a statue of King Arthur (from BK) as well as a picture of Merlina with a secret message for an additional 3 GT. There’s also a Scepter of Darkness sitting in a case that says “DO NOT TOUCH!!!!”

RAY: That’s a lot of exclamation points!

Anywho, head into a corner where a werehog statue stands…. and it’ll start shaking!

RAY: AHH!
MARINE: What!? What happened!?
RAY: That statue moved!
MARINE: Hallucinations again?
RAY: NO! It friggin moved!!
MARINE: You know, being composed of solar energy, you could be seeing things similar to that of a mirage! It happens!
RAY: I’m telling you the truth!

Now just walk over to the mirror, and a scene here plays where Ray… finds his reflection harboring feminine eyes.

RAY: WHOA! I’m cute!
MARINE: Definitely radiation poisoning.
RAY: All these years, I never knew the secret of my charms! I’m gorgeous!

Then his reflection turns fat

RAY: Maybe I should lay off the chili dogs!

And then his reflection vanishes completely… and instead, a ghost girl pops up (she’s the casper lookin bitch from “Night of the Werehog”) and giggles at him!

RAY: Ohhhh…. what’s your name, cutie pie!?

Then she gestures for him to follow her, while smiling “intently”.

RAY: Oh…. ohohohohhoho… ehehehehhehehe…. Don’t mind if I do!

Ray steps closer to the mirror…. and is then sucked in!

RAY: YAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

His enormous scream eminated throughout the museum!

TOPAZ: What is that!?
SONIC: THAT WAS RAY!!

Sonic and Blaze race upstairs!

SAM: GUYS, WAIT!!!

They get to the attic to see Ray was trapped behind the mirror!

SONIC: RAY!?
RAY: SONIC!!! OH GOD, HELP ME!!!
BLAZE: WHAT HAPPENED!?
MARINE: HOLD ON!!

Marine fires a tracking device on the mirror before it BREAKS through a window and flies away! Sonic runs to said window and reaches out!

SONIC: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

*GUN Helicarrier*

Sonic, Blaze, and Robotnik had returned to Tower immediately.

SONIC: Start talkin! You said nothing about trap mirrors!
TOWER: It’s got nothing to do with mirrors, but more so to do with a Wraith.
ROBOTNIK: Wraiths!? At a time like this!?
SONIC: More ghosts!?
TOWER: Unfortunately. Sonic, your friend was abducted by the one we call “Lah”. She’s not exactly dangerous, but she tends to ensnare unsuspecting men and keeping them as her soul mates. Unfortunately, they often die as a result of starvation and dehydration. As soon as she gets her man, she doesn’t let them leave her out of fear of abandonment.
SONIC: Then we’ve got no time to lose!!! Lets get out there and find that chick!
TOPAZ: Calm down, Sonic! Do you even know where to look?
SONIC: Grrrr…
ROBOTNIK: Perhaps it’s for the best! That moron is a liability!
SONIC: You go to hell, Buttnik!
TOWER: Well you’ll be kissing Marine’s ass for the next 2 months! She managed to track that mirror down to the old Thorndyke mansion on the outskirts of town.
ROBOTNIK: That old relic is still standing!?
TOWER: You Spagonians have a bad habit of preserving what doesn’t need to be. Besides, the Thorndyke Family was one of the most famous families in the world. Of course they’re not gonna tear down a historic landmark!
BLAZE: What was the significance of the Thorndyke family?
TOWER: They ran a powerful megalithic corporation that dealt with weapons manufacturing, oil, railroads, and other industries. They also proved to be rivals to Meteo Tech.
ROBOTNIK: One that I’m all too pleased to see gone!
BLAZE: What happened?
TOWER: The family’s only heir, Chris Thorndyke, was killed 50 years ago in the Ark Incident. Nelson and Lindsey Thorndyke eventually grew apart, died, and handed the keys over to Tanaka Enterprise in Kamurocho. The mansion was going to be torn down, but people protested. Said that the memory of the family was too important to destroy.
TOPAZ: That was mistake. Anything tied to the deceased will always attract paranormal entities. It’s why Spagonia has incidents 5 times a year because of their obsession with preservation.
ROBOTNIK: If you Federate fools had any respect for legacy, you would understand!
TOWER: Yes, and we’d end up just as insane as you are! Don’t think your activities in Mobius escaped my watch!
ROBOTNIK: You say that as though I’m concerned with your watchful eyes!
SONIC: When do we get to the part where we save Ray!?
TOWER: You’re right. Rescuing Ray is our top priority! Gather anyone you think will help! Even if Lah isn’t very dangerous, she’s not giving up Ray without a fight!

>If GT is above 50<
TOWER: Since I dragged you into that mission, I feel it’s only fair to offer assistance. We can have boots on the ground in no time!
ROBOTNIK: That’s good to know, because I wasn’t about to get dragged into this fight!
SONIC: I don’t want your help anyway, “Eggman”!
ROBOTNIK: I’m going to enjoy carving out your skull when this truce is over!
SAM: Ohh, that’s kinda dark for yah, Doc!
TOPAZ: So what’ll be, Sonic? [I need help!] +3GT [We got this]

>If accepted<
SONIC: I’ll take all the help I can get! Ray’s life is at stake!
TOWER: Consider it done! Now get movin!

>If refused<
SONIC: Thanks, but if things get harry, I don’t want your guys losing their lives. I’ll handle this!
TOWER: Suit yourself. Now get movin!

*Spagonia Streets*

Sonic gathers Marine, Mighty, Amy, Silver, and Blaze in front of the Thorndyke Mansion

SONIC: Thanks for coming, guys!
MIGHTY: Come on, did you even have to ask!? Ray’s our boy!
AMY: You know I would do anything for my friends! Even one as lecherous as Ray!
SILVER: I don’t think I’ll be much help here. My powers are only useful against physical objects, and even that has it’s limits.
SONIC: Even better, Silver! If that ghost tosses around furniture, you can hold them all back!
BLAZE: Now isn’t the time to be questioning ourselves! Our friend faces peril, so we must do all we can to save him!
MIGHTY: Damn straight!
MARINE: Well what are we waiting for!? We got a ghost to catch!

The next zone here is “Mystic Mansion” from Heroes. Now… there are 2 key differences. If you chose to get assistance from GUN, this place is going to be far more tedious as the GUN soldiers will be possessed by evil spirits and attack you, replacing all the enemies in the zone. You can beat up the soldiers, but each kill deducts 1 GT. Unless you wanna piss off GUN, you’ll have to leave them alone. Otherwise, you’re dealing purely with ghosts, pumpkin heads, and skeletons, and will risk no GT at all. Now, if you purchased the Flamethrower and Vacuum for Marine, she’ll wreck this whole fucking place. the Vacuum kills ghosts in one hit, and fire is the only way to kill ghosts period. Meaning Blaze is actually useful for a change! Everyone else will need a Fire Barrier to inflict damage on them.
Midway through, you’ll have 2 minibosses named Su and Wu (also from Night of the Werehog) who also show up later in their combined green bull form. Again, roast their asses!

And NO, I did not take the vacuum idea from Luigi’s Mansion! That shit was a ripoff of Ghost Busters anyway!

Anywho, after completing the zone (it’s only one act long), they make it to the top floor!

AMY: This place is a madhouse! How can anyone let this mansion stay here with so many hauntings!?
MARINE: Because Halloween wouldn’t be the same without it!
SONIC: ……What’s Halloween?
MIGHTY: Must be an Earth thing.
BLAZE: Focus!
MARINE: Roger that!

Marine slaps her nose to the ground and starts sniffing around for Ray and Lah!

MIGHTY: >_> …….What the hell is she doing!?
SONIC: Don’t ask. Just… let her do her thing.
AMY: Ugh! That’s so unsanitary! Do you know how much dust and allergens are in this place!?
SILVER: …..Maybe it’s a technique in finding spirits!

Then out of the blue, Silver starts sniffing the ground as well! And ends up sneezing and coughing!

SILVER: Ulgh! Oh God! *coughs* Maybe it’s something that only Raccoons can do!
BLAZE: You’re so naive!

Sonic and Mighty are chuckling away until Marine…. does that thing that dogs do in old cartoons by stiffening up and pointing in a direction with their noses.

SONIC: Looks like she found something!
MIGHTY: That door! Lets go!!!

They slowly enter the door to see…. Ray entertaining Lah!?

RAY: And then I went FLASH! *flashes* and the entire forest is engulfed in flames!
LAH: *Giggling and clapping*
RAY: But of course, I was still no match for he who called himself the ultimate life form!!!
MIGHTY: Wait… what’s going on!?
SONIC: -__- I think he’s whipped.

They walk over to them.

RAY: Oh hey guys! You’re just in time! I was just telling my new lady friend about our exploits against the evildoers of Mobius!
AMY: Lady friend!?

Lah merely waves at them.

RAY: Oh right! I never told you! WE’RE IN LOVE!!!
SONIC: ….No you’re not.
RAY: Oh pah! You’re just jealous because you didn’t get to her first!
SILVER: This must be some sort of spell!
MARINE: Wraiths can’t cast spells on people.
SILVER: But then…. why would he be so happy around the apparition that kidnapped him!?
MIGHTY: Because that apparition has 2 legs and a-
SONIC: She doesn’t have legs at all, Mighty!
RAY: So uh… thanks for the concern, but don’t worry! I’m totally fine! Though I am kinda hungry!
AMY: Then lets find you something to eat!
LAH: Huh?
SONIC: Yeah, I bet there’s a nice ol’ diner-

As soon as Sonic reaches for Ray, Lah zips in and clings to his back!

SONIC: WHOA! Damn you’re fast!!
SILVER: I didn’t even see her move!
RAY: Oh! hehe! I forgot to mention! She’s very clingy! But who can blame her!? I’m OOZING with sex appeal!
MARINE: “Hallucinations”
RAY: SHUT UP, WENCH!!!
SONIC: Ray, you can’t stay here!

Hearing that, Lah’s eyes glow a crimson red as she glares at Sonic!

SONIC: But he can always stop and visit from time to time!
AMY: Listen…. “Lah”? I know you’re lonely-
MIGHTY: And clearly desperate!
AMY: But all those men you kept? They all had friends and family. And because you wouldn’t let them leave…. they all vanished. Didn’t they? It’s because they couldn’t go out and nourish themselves. And… they couldn’t see their loved ones again. If you really care about them…. then you have to let them all go. Please. Do it for them!

LAH: …………*turns head* Hmph!
SONIC: Damn, she’s got it bad!
RAY: Well there you have it! Nothing can come between the love that we share!
MIGHTY: You dumbass! Are you seriously gonna let this stupid broad come between us!?

Lah then glares at Mighty!

MIGHTY: Don’t look at me like that!
RAY: I’m sorry guys, but you know how it is when a bud finds gal! She takes all the priori-

Blaze then BLASTS Lah off of Ray, crashing into a wall!

ALL: WHOA!!
RAY: OoO NOOOOOO!!!
BLAZE: I’ve had enough of this! We’re taking Ray back, even if I have to torch your very soul!!!

Suddenly, the mansion begins to shake! Furniture begins hovering above the group. Pictures of the deceased start cackling like hyenas. Think that scene in Evil Dead 2.

SONIC: Ohhhhhhhhh (bleep)!
SILVER: I think you made her mad, Blaze!
BLAZE: It was going to come down to this one way or another!

Lah rises from the crater, and the room turns into an eerie green color! Her eyes burn blood red!

RAY: LAH!! DARLING!!! FORGIVE THEM!!! SHE’S ONLY JEALOUS OF THE LOVE WE HAVE FOR EACH OTHER!!!!

And then she lets out a banshee-like scream!

BOSS TIME!! Lah merely floats around the room surrounding herself with random objects. As she does, she will often toss those objects and/or furniture at you. You’ll have to break through her “barrier” to damage her. Flame Barriers get littered throughout the fight so that you can actually damage her. Again, Marine and Blaze have it easy here as fire is a part of their arsenal. Marine’s flamethrower can bypass the barrier as well as Blaze’s spell flare.
After dealing enough damage, Lah will start hurling fireballs that travel on the ground and shoot up like geysers. She’ll also start summoning chunks of the floor off to smack you with. It should be noted that the more of the floor she uses up, the less room you have to maneuver, and falling through the floor is death. So… yeah. Marine’s vacuum would NOT work on this bitch.

After the fight, Ray tries holding Lah back!

RAY: PLEASE!! FORGIVE THEM!!!

And she does nothing to him. And Ray is surprised for a moment!

RAY: Oh! Ahah! You don’t want to hurt me! I knew you didn’t hate me! *turns around* You see guys!? OUR LOVE TRANSCENDS ALL-

And then she slaps Ray across the room!

MIGHTY: Pff! It won’t transcend that migraine!
SONIC: HERE SHE COMES!

Lah conjures objects and hurls them at the group! Silver manages to catch them!

SILVER: DO IT, NOW!!!

Amy and Blaze burn Lah, sending her reeling in pain!

LAH: *screams*!!
SONIC: IT’S WORKING! KEEP IT UP!!
MARINE: I got this!!!
SONIC: Marine!?
MIGHTY: GET BACK HERE!

Marine lays out a trap, and then turns her gun into a vacuum!

MARINE: STAND CLEAR LADIES!!

She begins sucking Lah into the gun, with her terrifying expression turning into fear… before finally being sucked into the canister trap!

She is seen within banging on the glass, but she can’t break free!

MARINE: And that’s the end of this chapter!
SONIC: Whoa! Nice one!
RAY: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Ray jumps up from behind a couch!

RAY: LET HER GO!!!! SHE’S MY ONE TRUE LOVE!!!!

Ray rushes toward Lah, but Silver moves it away from him while Mighty and Sonic restrain him!

MIGHTY: RAY! YOU IDIOT!!
SONIC: SHE’S NOT WORTH YOUR LIFE!!!
RAY: YES SHE IS!!!!
SILVER: He’s possessed!
AMY: No, he’s just insane.
MARINE: I caught her fair and square, Ray! So she belongs to me now! We’re going to have SO MUCH FUN! Isn’t that right, my little ghosty!?

Lah has a terrified expression and continues banging on the glass!

RAY: OHH!! You’re scaring her!
MARINE: Why? All I was going to do is electrocute her, and then drain her ectoplasm for my experiments! It’s not like she’ll die or anything!
AMY: Marine, that’s horrible! Why would you do such a thing!?
BLAZE: She deserves it!
AMY: Blaze!?
BLAZE: Think of all the lives this phantom took! All to satisfy herself! She didn’t care about any of their lives, even having it explained to her! We can’t allow this… “demoness” to roam free! So yes, Marine! Have your way with her!
SILVER: Blaze, no! We can’t torture a lost soul!
RAY: Especially MY lost soul!
BLAZE: You set that creature free, and who knows who the next victim could be!? What if she abducts children next?! She’s dangerous!
AMY: But torturing her is the next best thing!?
BLAZE: An adequate punishment for one who causes death!
MARINE: It’s not torture!! It’s just experimentation! There’s a difference!
SONIC: Jeez, you guys make this difficult! On the one hand, yeah she’s dangerous. But who’d want to torture those eyes?
RAY: That’s what I said!
BLAZE: Don’t be sympathetic to a murderer, Sonic!

Sonic’s radio sounds off.

TOWER: Well, there is a 3rd option.
SONIC: What the… Commander Tower!?
TOWER: You bring her back to the Helicarrier for safe keeping. That way, our scientists can study her properties without the threat of torture.
SONIC: So you can turn her into a weapon!?
TOWER: Be reasonable, Sonic. She’s a wraith. They don’t think, they don’t feel. All they have is instinct. Setting her free will allow her to strike again. Of course, if that girl has her way with it, it’ll be rendered useless. We can prevent both from happening. And if we find any other uses for her, that’s our business.
SONIC: Grrr.
TOWER: It’s your call. Hopefully, you’ll make the right one!
[Set it Free] -6GT [Give it to GUN] +6GT [Give it to Marine] 0GT

>If you give it to GUN, you’ll get a scene of Lah being kept in a tank… and mind controlled.<

MESSAGE: Ray has gained a new Action Trigger! Lah can be summoned to stun foes or control them freely!

>If you give it to Marine, you’ll get a scene of her back in her hut as she toys around with Lah by shocking her, and putting in certain gases. However, something goes wrong, and Lah escapes, fleeing for her life!

MARINE: NO!!! COME BACK!!! I HAVEN’T PERFECTED MY FORMULA!!!!

MESSAGE: Marine has gained a new action trigger! The Ghost Gun can penetrate enemies and pierce through walls and defenses!

>If you set her free, you get a scene of the trio going out in the field and opening her container…. “setting her free”<

MIGHTY: Good! Now do us a solid and stay the hell away from us!
SONIC: You can’t keep kidnapping people just because you’re lonely. You end up doing more harm than good. If you want, you should go to… a graveyard, I guess. They’re already dead! Alright? We did you a favor, so the least you could do is meet us halfway.

And then the screen goes black and white so that Ray can recite lines from Casablanca. I can’t remember that shit, so I’ll just leave it at…

RAY: Here’s looking at you, kid!

And the trio marches off, with Lah having a sad face.

RAY: Oh, such a shame to have to part ways with such a beauty! Am I destined to never find true love!?
SONIC: >_>
MIGHTY: <_<
SONIC: Er… don’t worry, Ray! There’s plenty of girls out there to reject you!
MIGHTY: And they’ll at least have a pulse this time!

Lah giggles and then flies away.

*GUN Helicarrier*

Sonic returns to meet with Robotnik and Tower.

SONIC: Mission accomplished! Ray is safe and sound! That wraith won’t be bothering anyone anytime soon!

>If set free<
ROBOTNIK: You really need to raise the bar on what you consider a success!
TOWER: What the hell were you thinking, Sonic!? You let the wraith go!?
SONIC: Better that than to let her rot in a cage with you! How about letting the dead rest in peace?
TOWER: She won’t deliver what you gave! With her back on the loose, she’s free to abduct and kill any man she gets her claws on! I hope you’re happy with those results!
SONIC: If she gets out of line, we can deal with her again!

>If given to Marine<
ROBOTNIK: A pity that girl couldn’t keep a tighter leash on the Wraith! Now she’s free to roam the Earth!
TOWER: Hopefully her research bares some fruit that we can use to combat her the next time she rears her head!
SAM: Man, I get to be a real life ghost buster! Dreams do come true!
TOPAZ: Oh brother.

>If given to GUN<
ROBOTNIK: You should’ve handed it over to Marine! At least then, the Wraith wouldn’t be weaponized for global warfare!
TOPAZ: And I suppose giving it to you would’ve been a better option?
ROBOTNIK: Very much so!
TOWER: You’ve got nothing to worry about, Ivo. I’ll make sure she stays weapon free!
SAM: Besides, who’d want to do anything to that cute little number? She can take my soul anyday!
TOWER: That can be arranged!
SAM: Nah! I can wait until my time!
TOWER: Good, then shut the hell up!

TOWER: *sighs* In either case, this mission ended in failure. We have no real knowledge as to the Marauder’s new location within Spagonia.
ROBOTNIK: Leave that to me! I have ways of sniffing out the little cretins!
TOPAZ: Sir, what about the other locations?
TOWER: We’ll get to them in due time. In the meantime, you should all get some rest. You’ve had a long night!
SONIC: Too long!

END OF ACT 1

Doing it Better: Neo Sonic 8 (Prologue)

*Angel Island*

CAPTION: 4000 years ago

Under the veil of the full moon, 2 factions of Echidnas come face to face with each other. The regular Echidnas led by one “Pachahamec”, and the other led by one “Athair” (think with Keith Silverstein’s voice, and wearing Enerjak’s costume)

PACHA: That is it, Athair! You have gone too far! It’s one thing to keep the Gaian Stones from leaving our grasp, but to flood the planet!? It’s madness!
ATHAIR: Though it was an unforeseen outcome, we will do what is necessary to keep the Stones from leaving this planet! If madness is the answer, then let madness achieve results!
PACHA: You arrogant fool! How do you suppose we will find the Gaian Stones now!? They will be submerged within the depths of the seas!
ATHAIR: Then they are safe from prying hands! How often did you believe we would keep fighting invaders and traitors to keep the stones safe!? The Felines, the Babylonian, those stones would’ve led to perpetual conflict! It is better this way.
PACHA: What gives you the right to dictate such!?
ATHAIR: Those that came before us designated the Guardian Angels as the sole protectors of the Gaian Stones. And the wars of old have shown that merely being a guard for an altar is not enough! If the world below must drown for us to maintain peace for future generations, then so be it! Or perhaps…. that isn’t the truth behind your rage. You saw fit to use the Stones for your OWN ambitions, haven’t you!?
PACHA: You dare excuse me of such treachery!?
GUARDIAN: We have seen it in your eyes, Pachahamac! Ambition to expand our tribal borders across this planet! Taking on the airs of the Felines who betrayed us! You allied with the Babylonians to steal the Gaian Stones for your own purposes!
PACHA: Grrr!
ATHAIR: We’ve achieved levitation without their aid. All you’ve done was waste your time and energy trying to create allies with outsiders! All so that one day, you would stab them and us in the back so that you could rule all!
PACHA: And why not!? Have we not led the charge to destroying the Gaian race!? Was it not our coalition and planning that led to our victories!? The Felines wished to establish their dominance early on, we should’ve done the same! It is our right to take charge of the world! Not to disassociate from it!
GUARDIAN: You see, Athair!? He admits it!
ATHAIR: Yes. He did. Leave now, Pachahamac. You do NOT want to invoke our wrath!
PACHA: TO HELL WITH YOU!!!! I will not remain stagnant on an island in the skies! WE DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS!!!

The Echidnas all attack the Guardians in what could be a civil war. One that Athair’s side was winning easily.

After a long drawn out conflict, Pachahamac’s forces were all beaten and/or killed.

PACHA: What will you do now, Athair!?
ATHAIR: You do not wish to remain on this island? You do not need to. We will send you some place… .that is more to your liking!

Athair and the Guardian brandish 7 Chaos Rings, and levitate them iin the air above Pacha’s forces.

PACHA: What…. what are you doing!?
ATHAIR: Making sure you never return to do harm to us again!

The rings then spin around in a circle, opening a portal into another dimension! Pacha’s faction is then sucked in!

PACHA: YOU WON’T GET AWAY WITH THIS, ATHAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIR!!!

And just that, they’re gone.

ATHAIR: ……..My brothers. Forgive me. For we are the last of our kind now. We may never survive. So if possible, let us live out the rest of our lives doing what is absolutely necessary… to ensure this world does not fall to chaos ever again!

*Twilight Cage*

A slight montage here shows Pachahamac and his faction being trapped in a dimension of darkness. They survive after several generations, adapting to it’s world, creating new technologies, and eventually escaping through a dimensional gateway of their creation.

*Spagonia Library*

CAPTION: 16 years ago

A much younger Ivo Robotnik is at a library trying to read upon the history of his ancestor, Julian Robotnik. But a Mobian child keeps making noises.

ROBOTNIK: *groans*
KID: *giggling*

Losing his patience, he gets up and leaves with the book.

LIBRARIAN: Sir!? You can’t just take…. oh dear.

*Streets*

As he walks home, he sees Human and Mobian children playing together, having fun, much to his dismay.

*Robotnik’s Home*

Returning home, he is greeted by Heavy and Bomb.

BOMB: Told you that library was gonna be boring as (bleep)! What’s up, Doc!?
ROBOTNIK: *groans* Hello again, Bomb. I had told you it was going to be a short trip. Do not act so surprised that this had happened!
BOMB: So whatcha check out now!?
ROBOTNIK: The only book detailing the exploits of Julian Robotnik and his expedition into Mobius. I need to know exactly why we have so many vermin running loose in the city!
BOMB: Easy! Who would want to go on tour in Spagonia if you didn’t have a bunch of furry aliens running around!?
ROBOTNIK: They exist all across the planet, you idiot! To a sickening degree, might I add. Our global economy cannot support so many of these rodents coming in, and yet our politicians do everything to appease them while many of our own are forced out onto the streets!

He opens a window.

ROBOTNIK: Look at them! They’re not even human, and yet we must treat them on equal terms as us. They’re just bipedal animals who can speak our language. Mere freeloading denizens who, because of the cowardice of our leaders, wish to appease them if only to appear accepting of those different from us!
BOMB: Sounds like you resent your great, great, great, great-
ROBOTNIK: Julian is not excluded from critique merely because I come from his loins. If one makes a mistake that affects the future, it needs to be taken into account
BOMB: Ain’t you friends with some of them? What was it uhhhhhhh Mr. Corn?
ROBOTNIK: Chief Inspector Acorn, I merely tolerate only because I need to. Not because I enjoy his company. The fact that he pesters me so often is aggravating to say the least.

The doorbell rings.

ROBOTNIK: Speak of the devil.
BOMB: Aww come on, doc! You really think that old fart is gonna be behind the door-

He goes for the door and finds that… yes. Maximilian Acorn is at the door.

BOMB: Oh (bleep) you! Your intuition is bull(bleep)!
ROBOTNIK: There’s a camera outside, and a monitor near the door, you fool.
BOMB: Well my point still stands!
ACORN: Good to know your nostalgia has gotten the better of you, Ivo. I never did think it wise to follow through with that old promise.
ROBOTNIK: Well why recycle what serves as examples of my genius from a young age?
BOMB: Aww, he lies about the real reason he keeps us around!

Robotnik tosses an object at Bomb, knocking him off the table!

BOMB: HEY! I can blow your stupid house up, you know!
ROBOTNIK: So, I hear you recently had twin brats.
BOMB: DON’T IGNORE ME!!!
ACORN: Well, yes. They’re quite a handful, but that’s how infants are.
ROBOTNIK: *whispers* Yes, now there are a “handful” more.
ACORN: What was that?
ROBOTNIK: *groans*
ACORN: You know, if you actually took the time to find yourself a companion, you wouldn’t have to concern yourself with our numbers.
ROBOTNIK: On the contrary. I would not have to concern myself with numbers if you didn’t receive special treatment!
ACORN: Hmph. If anyone is to blame for that, it would have to be Julian Robotnik himself. Your ancestor contributed to the relations of both our worlds.
ROBOTNIK: Yes, it’s quite one-sided, isn’t it? Tell me, how many humans live amongst the Mobians of your world?
ACORN: ……….
ROBOTNIK: Oh of course. I had forgotten that per the agreement, all but my direct bloodline are allowed to even step foot into Mobius. Curiously, many of your kind tend to flock here in droves either as tourists or denizens.
ACORN: You mean “citizens”. And such an agreement was proposed by Julian himself as he believed “your kind” could not be trusted with the safety of our environment and our people. And that belief was affirmed with your grandfat-
ROBOTNIK: And you condemned more than him to oblivion. Your capacity for destruction is the only thing equal to our own.
ACORN: …….*sighs* There is no apology that will make up for…. Maria, I know that. But something had to be done about him.
ROBOTNIK: I wonder if you still feel that way about humans considering how chummy dear old dad is with Mobians.
ACORN: ……..That’s…. why I came here, Ivo.
ROBOTNIK: ………What do you mean?
ACORN: …………He’s been murdered!
ROBOTNIK: *glowing eyes*………..WHAT!?

*Cemetary*

A funeral is held for Kinto Robotnik. Many of Kinto’s friends (including the future Jackal Squad as children) were there. After his coffin is lowered into the ground, Robotnik stands before it, shedding only one tear for him. A young Abraham Tower (The GUN Commander from Shth) walks behind him. Imagine him with the voice of Scott Macdonald (Nick Fury in MUA1)

TOWER: I’m sorry, Ivo. I wish there was a better way to break the news.
ROBOTNIK: Just tell me… who is responsible for this!
TOWER: The United Federation is already leading an investigation, you don’t need to involve your-
ROBOTNIK: He was my father….. Abraham. I have a right to know who his killers were!
TOWER: ……..Very well

*Small office*

Tower shows Robotnik photographs of the “Marauders”.

ROBOTNIK: Are they…. machines?
TOWER: No. Chief Inspector Acorn managed to catch one of them. They appear to be Mobian.
ROBOTNIK: Are you suggesting that Mobians murdered my father!?
TOWER: Ironic, isn’t it? Kinto enjoyed the company of Mobians, helping them live better lives, and they turned on him in an instant. I never trusted those walking furballs!
ROBOTNIK: What about a motive? They couldn’t have just killed him for some… brazen action?
TOWER: GUN is investigating that. “Our” side of GUN. Though, some believe it is related to what Gerald Robotnik did. Er… no offense.
ROBOTNIK: None taken. So he was judged for the sins of the father.
TOWER: It would appear so. We’ve seen these beings appear here in the human world years prior. If only we knew what they were after.
ROBOTNIK: Leave that to me.
TOWER: What!?
ROBOTNIK: I have ways of finding out the truth!

*Streets*

Robotnik was working with Heavy and Bomb to establish a trap for the Marauders.

BOMB: So lemme get this straight. You’re a scientist working with the aid of 2 robots you built when you were in diapers, creating a sort of trap… in the hopes of catchin some “ninjas”!?
ROBOTNIK: Is that fear in your voice, Bomb?
BOMB: Nah! It’s called common sense! You are out of yo damn mind if you think this is gonna work! We’ll be torn to shreds!
ROBOTNIK: The absurdity of such a plan will be meaningless so long as you follow my commands to the letter!
BOMB: Sure it will! And then what!? You gonna Ebay our ass parts to make up for the costs of repairing us!?
ROBOTNIK: For the love of God, shut your mouth and pay attention to your surroundings!

As they bicker, a single Marauder leaps through the city roof tops.

ROBOTNIK: One of them just appeared! Now! Initiate the trap!

Heavy hits a switch that activates…. fireworks!?

Silly as it were, it manages to scare the Marauder out of hiding, and to run in the opposite direction!

ROBOTNIK: Good! Head to your position, now!

Robotnik fires a “warning shot” past the Marauder’s face, grazing his helmet, and sending him falling. He slides down the side of a building and lands on his feet, taking off through the alleys. However, Bomb had appeared in front of him!

BOMB: FREEZE (bleep)ch!

Bomb explodes, blowing the marauder backward into a wall. But the force wasn’t strong enough to knock him out. He escapes into the sewers below.

BOMB: I hope his snout is strong enough!
ROBOTNIK: He won’t get the chance.

Robotnik presses a switch that sends shockwaves through the sewers with a force strong enough to send geysers of sewage to flush out of the sewer manes, flushing out the marauder as well!

BOMB: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
MARAUDER: *coughs*
BOMB: AND his mouth was open! I know he’s nauseous as hell!

Robotnik sets his gun to stun, and shoots the Marauder in place!

MARAUDER: Grr… no!!!
ROBOTNIK: How about we take a little trip?

*Robotnik’s lab*

Heavy unmasks the marauder.

ROBOTNIK: Hmm. I was told that the Echidnas were extinct. But no matter. Who are you and where have you come from!?
MARAUDER: I’m not telling you anything, human!
ROBOTNIK: Honestly, that remark has told me enough! What kind of grievance do you have against the human race?
MARAUDER: Grievance?! None that warrants your concern! It is a distinction we hold for who is Mobian and who isn’t! We harbor no ill will toward you as you do for us!
ROBOTNIK: Hmm?
MARAUDER: We make it our priority to know everything about those that may be a threat to us!
ROBOTNIK: Is THAT why you killed Kinto Robotnik!? You perceived him to be a threat!?
MARAUDER: Kinto…. oh right! You’re his son, aren’t you!?
ROBOTNIK: …………..
MARAUDER: Kinto is not one we consider an enemy! He loved Mobians too much to ever be a threat! He was of no concern… until a third party was interested in his demise!
ROBOTNIK: ……..You were hired to kill him!?
MARAUDER: No one gives orders to the Brotherhood! But… we could not achieve our own goals without his… cooperation. And he had…. “demands”.
ROBOTNIK: And who is…. “he”!?

The Marauder smiles

*Dark Alley*

Acorn was busy gathering clues when Robotnik appears behind him.

ROBOTNIK: Good evening, Inspector.
ACORN: What the…. Ivo!? What are you doing out here so late!?
ROBOTNIK: I’m no child. I go where I please.
ACORN: Of course. I did not mean to imply that…. nevermind. How goes your investigation?
ROBOTNIK: Smoothly. I…. managed to acquire was damning evidence to a motive behind my Father’s murder!
ACORN: Really? How much so?
ROBOTNIK: Well it’s the damnedest thing! it actually involves you!

Robotnik shoots Acorn in the leg, sending him to the ground!

ACORN: GAAHH!!
ROBOTNIK: You duplicitious, toothless rat! You plotted against me from the start!!!
ACORN: IVO! What are you doing!? I am the Chief Inspector of Spagonia! Assaulting me will put you away for a lifetime!!
ROBOTNIK: If it comes to that, so be it! So long as you’re buried under the same depths as my father, then all is well!
ACORN: What the… are you accusing ME of having murdered him!?ROBOTNIK: Using the Marauders as a scapegoat to wave the blame to a secondary party, all so you wouldn’t have to face me!? Did you honestly believe I would never find out!? That I would gladly accept your words as the honest truth!?
ACORN: Ivo, you don’t understand!
ROBOTNIK: Who would want to die for a treacherous snake such as you!?
ACORN: The Council demanded his death!
ROBOTNIK: Council!? The Council of Mobius ordered his death!?
ACORN: Kinto wanted to open an investigation into the Ark Incident! All the details of their report didn’t add up in his eyes!
ROBOTNIK: Speak now about those details, lest you wish to rest!
ACORN: The specifics of the intended targets. Gerald was prioritized, but not any of the scientists or their families were supposed to have died! Most of all, Maria! Instead, the operation was a purge! Under orders!
ROBOTNIK: Who’s orders!?
ACORN: …….I don’t know the specific one who gave them! But the Ark Incident did not escape the notice of the human world! Many of those scientists still had families here, and they wanted to know why they were murdered! Even the famed Thorndyke family wanted to know why their son was murdered on the Ark! The incident sparked outrage across the planet. The official report noted that it was an experiment gone wrong, having affected the colonists and required euthanasia. But Kinto wouldn’t be satisfied! For years, he had been investigating all the details, but was constantly blocked! He wanted to open an investigation on human terms! He had to be stopped!
ROBOTNIK: What are those vermin trying to hide!?
ACORN: ………..
ROBOTNIK: ANSWER ME!!!!
ACORN: I don’t know!!! I’m kept in the dark as much as you!!
ROBOTNIK: Yet you easily agreed to eliminate him!
ACORN: Kinto was a well loved figure in both our worlds, giving him far more influence than anyone before him. Had he changed his tune and started siding against Mobians, we would have an inter dimensional war! We cannot risk that! Politics is a dirty business. We have to think about our best interests.
ROBOTNIK: You filthy Mobians have no place in our world! And yet we opened our doors and our hearts only for you to turn around and stab us in the backs! Afterall my forefathers had done for you pitiful worms, a little gratitude would go a long way!!
ACORN: We do… what we can…. to protect our own, Ivo! Even… at the cost of our friendship.
ROBOTNIK: ……..I agree.

And Robotnik shoots Acorn dead.

*Office*

Robotnik visits the Warp Ring of Spagonia, speaking with the gate keeper

GK: You’re going to Mobius!? Knowing you, I’d never thought something possible!
ROBOTNIK: Without my father, Meteo Tech will be lost. It is best that I take charge now even if it means having to deal with Mobians. My family started the company, and I will not allow it to fall into Mobian hands!
GK: Very well. What would you want to be done about your home?
ROBOTNIK: I am not leaving permanently. I will come back from time to time to see how things are working out. I’m not my father, afterall. *smiles*

*CUT TO BLACK*

*Westopolis*

CAPTION: Present Day

We find a 12 year old Princess Elise walking through a hotel with a stuffed Hedgehog toy, as well as her butler.

ELISE: So when can we go to Empire City? Or Kamurocho?
BUTLER: Young lady, you are not to leave the continent of your home! Just being in Westopolis is enough to give your parents pause!
ELISE: But I never get to see the world! I’m a growing girl, you know!
BUTLER: More like a growing pain.
ELISE: What!?
BUTLER: Ahem… maybe when you grow a little more, you will have more freedom to travel the world, but right now, it is far too dangerous!

Elise mocks him by mouthing his words.

BUTLER: The life of a Princess is not about adventure! Your status makes you a target for any willing to take advantage! Ransoms are most common! Think what would happen to Apotos if you were to be lost!

Suddenly, without warning, several explosions sound off around them!

ELISE: *screams*!
BUTLER: My heavens!!! What happened!?

Flashforward to just a few hours later, Westopolis is engulfed in flames. Jet planes, tanks, and all other sorts of military hardware had invaded the streets.

Elise was still in the hotel. With her Butler dead, she was all alone. She hides under a hotel bed, tears pour from her eyes as the world around her transformed into a wartorn hellscape!

2 Marauders crash into the windows.

MARAUDER: The girl should be in here somewhere! Find her and eliminate her!

They start ransacking what’s left of the hotel room, tearing up the walls and dressers.
Elise covers her mouth to keep from making a noise.

MARAUDER 2: Hold it!

*pulses*

MARAUDER 2: I’m getting an elevated pulse reading! From…

They both look to the bed that Elise hid under.

MARAUDER: Blast the bed!
ELISE: O_O

They ready their arm cannons.

*From Elise’s P.O.V.*

However, before they could fire, they’re both immediately knocked out by a mysterious blue wind!

ELISE: *shrieks*!
???: Whoa!? What the hell was that!?

This being that looks under the bed was none other than Sonic the Hedgehog!

SONIC: Hey! Are you ok!?
ELISE: GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!
SONIC: YO, CHILL OUT!!!

Some debris falls down!

SONIC: Listen, I know you’re scared, but you can’t stay here! This place is coming down!!
ELISE: They’re trying to kill me!!
SONIC: Who!? These losers?! They’re down for the count! If you wanna live, I’m your only ticket outta here!
ELISE: …………
SONIC: Trust me!!!!

Sonic holds out his hand while Elise hesitates.

SONIC: You and I both know you can’t stay here!

Elise looks Sonic dead in his eyes… and then slowly reaches for his hand.

And Sonic takes it!

*End Trailer*

Alright then, if it wasn’t obvious already, NS8 will take cues from 06, Unleashed, and a smidgen of Chronicles even though I’ve not played that shit. Also, to get this out of the way, this is the LAST one I’m doing. I have no further ideas for this series after this point as Every game after Unleashed was a crock of bullshit with no potential whatsoever. We all know why. I know some of you is like “YES, FINALLY! Stop making this bullshit ass fanfic!” I know! 😛

Anywho, gameplay wise, not much will have changed from the previous game aside from more changes to Mighty’s moves because dammit, he’s difficult to figure out for this shit! You know, cause I don’t want him to be a clone of Sonic, but I don’t want him to be weak as hell? So I looked at Diego from DOA6 for inspiration. And his style might work better for Mighty than Baji-Quan. Maybe I should’ve looked into Terry Bogard instead now that everyone knows who he is, no doubt thanks to Smash Brothers because herp derp no one except real gamers know shit about SNK, I guess that’s why they’re whoring themselves out as guest fighters for every game in existence. I mean goddamn! Geese Howard in T7, Haohmaru in SC6, Mai and Kula in DOA6, and now Terry in Smash! That was a weird choice, you’d think they would use a Metal Slug character or something. But hey! Ryu can fight Terry in…. ah fuck, I’m rambling again.

Probably give Tails those Mouse bombs from Battle and those homing lasers from SA2 as a part of his Action Triggers. And then I thought “how about equippable Action Triggers?” Like say you’re in the hub world and you go into a menu screen to equip the characters with different gear that changes the overall moveset or behavior of their Action Triggers instead of being limited to specific moves. While this shits all over the whole “Barriers give different moves and Action Triggers”, it’s for convenience sake. It’s like variations in MKX :P. Amy could switch from a Club Mic to her Twin Rods, Sonic could switch from a single sword to Kinetic Sabers, Tails could have different types of lasers, Mighty from a single axe to 2 axes, that kind of shit.

I’d only have one new character to be playable. And that’s ……….. “Marine the Raccoon”. And Marine would be the primary character to utilize the whole “Action Trigger Equips”….. thingy. She uses guns. Lots… and LOTS… of guns. Using “Axiom Verge” as a basis, she would have the most triggers out of all the characters and the most utility when dealing with enemies. She’d start off with a basic gun and 3 Triggers based off of the existing barriers. Fire Trigger is a flamethrower, Magnet Trigger is a lightning gun, and Bubble Trigger is based off the “Data Bomb” weapon in that game. Additional triggers have to be purchased and/or upgraded to be used.

Or should I give her a boomerang instead? 😛 But then she’d be an inferior version of Tails… >_>

Doing it Better: Neo Sonic 7 (Act 3)

*Acropolis*

Tails, Jet, Speedy, and the expedition team reach the highest peak of the mountain. The mysterious island that hovered above them was not too far away.

CAPTION: Present Day

SPEEDY: You boys sure you can find a way up there!? It’s cold as hell!
JET: Just hold your horses! Tails, you got any ideas?
TAILS: We don’t have any equipment that could help us reach it! And building some sort of ladder or elevator will take years!
JET: Well we didn’t come this far!
SPEEDY: Jet, we can’t survive these temperatures! You know this!
JET: Yeah, yeah!
TAILS: We should probably draw a waymarker in the snow!
JET: A what!? You’ve got Waystones!?
TAILS: Yeah. Now… if only I could remember the symbol that Amy typical draws…

Tails reaches… back…. somewhere (cartoons just pull random shit out of nowhere, lets go with that!), but he drops the Green Gem by mistake!

Tails: Whoops!

Suddenly, the gem glows…. and slowly, it sprouts a giant beanstalk that stretches all the way up the island!

JET: WHAT THE….
SPEEDY: By the stars, The Sol Gem created a Beanstalk! All the way up to the Island!
TAILS: Is that it’s actual power!?
JET: *smiles* Well, bet you’re glad you kept that on hand, aren’t you!?
TAILS: Well I know you guys are!
SPEEDY: Well then! Lets get climbing!

*Beanstalk*

And they climb what feels like a lifetime.

JET: How about…. *strains* next time, you make a stalk….. with some giant resting leaves or something!
TAILS: I told you, use your daggers to climb!
SPEEDY: Easy for you to say, you flying cheat!
TAILS: Hey, it’s not my fault you guys haven’t evolved to use your wings!
JET: Don’t make this personal, Tails.
TAILS: You guys started it!

*Sky Babylon*

They finally make it up to the island. And Tails passes out from the flying.

JET: Too bad that stamina didn’t evolve! Hah!
TAILS: Shut… up!
SPEEDY: Alright lads. Lets see what we’re dealing with here. Is the sky supposed to be green?
JET: Maybe its a sort of radiation being given off by….. wait a sec!
TAILS: What’s wrong!?
JET: …..I recognize these structures! They’re…. they’re Babylonian!
TAILS: Well it is called “Sky Babylon”.
SPEEDY: Yes, but we never assumed it to be related to us!
TAILS: Wait a minute, how do you even know what a Babylonian structure looks like? We’ve never seen any of these kinds of places on Flicky Island!
JET: My father once gave me a book with different sketches showing exactly what our civilization was capable of! These ruins, these towers!? Almost word for word… an exact replica! To see them in person is….
SPEEDY: You mean this island was built by our own ancestors!?
TAILS: How do you guys not know this? It’s existed in this dimension for… I don’t know how long!
SPEEDY: Well if that long climb didn’t learn yah any, we’ve never been here!
JET: Then there’s only one thing to do! It’s called an expedition for a reason!

Next stop is…. obvious. Probably the best damn zone on Rush 2! I’m keeping EVERYTHING! EeeeeXCEPT those balloons!
Now, since this place is supposed to be abandoned, I guess it’s appropriate that no enemies appear here. Probably take out all the fires and shit too, those never made sense other than to incentivize Blaze.
Kinda ironic, I proclaimed that Combat would the spectacle but there are no enemies in this bitch, so…… ah well, not a whole lot of people could ever memorize the layout of Sky Babylon so who CARES if the layout is recycled? Just slap some HD graphics up there and it’ll be everyone’s favorite obstacle course! Hahahahahahah, I’d be a shit level designer too.

Anywho, after going through w/e, Tails and the rest of them make it to the central tower, finding the bones of ancient Babylonians.

….Lots of em.

SPEEDY: Dear God… there’s so many of them. MEN! Set up the lights here!

They do so to find what looks like the inside of a transport ship.

JET: A steering wheel?
TAILS: Someone could…. drive this place?
JET: Don’t be stupid, kid. This place is too big to be an RV.

Tails locates a few scrolls on the floor.

TAILS: Maybe these can help?
JET: Hmm? *grabs scrolls*
SPEEDY: How do you read these things!? the words are all pictures!
JET: It’s ancient Babylonian Script. *Reads* “Day 26. Damned Athair! Damn him and his conceited Guardian Angels! They’ve doomed us to this long lasting flood! We had no choice! It was either find a way home… or die on a world that is not our own!” Holy…. it’s a diary! Tails, this island came from Mobius!
SPEEDY: “Mobius”?
JET: The world in which we came from! But… if that’s the case…… O_O, you know what this means!?
TAILS: What!?
JET: It means they actually did it! They actually found a way to traverse dimensions!
SPEEDY: That’s impossible!
TAILS: Keep reading! Maybe we’ll know how!
JET: *Reads* “Day 75! Shoga’s done it! He’s managed to replicate the power of the Giant Emerald! Though we’ve lost the teleport crystal and the other Emeralds, Shoga proclaims to have made a device that will allow him to power up anything using the power of “Chaos Magic”. A particular kind of magic that utilizes Chaos Energy. Apparently, his people have “Chaotic Blood” that allows them to channel such power. If they weren’t so terrified of using it, they’d be able to destroy those damned Echidnas once and for all!” I think that red mutt mentioned something about Amy using Chaos Magic.
TAILS: Keep going!
JET: Psh… a little bossy, aren’t we? *Reads another scroll* “Day 123. I can’t believe we finished it! The “Aeon Drive” is complete! Now all we need to do is replicate the 7 Emeralds, and use them to power the machine! Shoga will also use the stand in the center of the tower to stabilize the spacial compressor drives so that we are not crushed during our trip through warp speed. But most importantly, no one must know about this! Athair is hunting our people down as we speak! —— Day 135. It has been several days since we crossed into this strange world. Shoga has recovered from his sudden collapse. He should’ve had his wife help him so as to not faint. If there were more than Hedgehog, no one would suffer from the strain of controlling space itself. But no matter. Now we can begin our expedition into the unknown! Several of our people will remain here until we return, but I do not like the prospects of leaving so many of our own behind. We have no means of contacting them once we leave. Now that I think about it, we have no way to get back!
SPEEDY: So you mean to tell me that this vessel housed our ancestors!?
JET: Guess what those kids said wasn’t far from the truth. *Reads* “Day 173. Gah! It’s becoming more difficult to trust anyone! Those damned cats just attacked us for no reason! Shoga believed them to be allies, but they quickly threw him in a cage! Fortunately, that trap won’t hold him! When he is freed, we may be able to exact our revenge!
TAILS: This sounds like the precursor to the Sol Wars.
JET: The what!?
SPEEDY: The conflict by which our ancestors went to war against the Ancient Sylvanians!
TAILS: The books they had the library had different details, though. Saying that Shoga was an invader who wanted to claim the throne for himself.
JET: Well would you look at that! They’re liars too!
TAILS: Is there anymore?
JET: No, that’s the final entry. Whoever wrote this probably died in that conflict.
TAILS: ……..You think we might be able to get this thing working again?
SPEEDY: This old island? The process to simply power it on sounds unnecessarily complex!
TAILS: Crossing into another dimension isn’t an easy process by itself! There’s so many theories, calculations, all kinds of different factors just to travel safely! But this might be our only chance to return home! And you guys won’t have to live in a desert for the rest of your lives!
SPEEDY: Is that so? Then this would be history in the making!
JET: They said he tried to replicate the seven Chaos Emeralds. That’s gonna be the hard part.
TAILS: It also said Hedgehogs have Chaotic Blood. Meaning…
JET: Shoga was only one Hedgehog. But we’ve got 3 on our side! Tails, do those phones still work?
TAILS: No, not in this dimension. They require Meteo Tech’s radio signals.
JET: What about the Ark? Can’t you make a new signal?
TAILS: …..Yeah, it’s worth a shot!
JET: Then get to it! It’ll be a waste of time trying to find out where the others are!

*Sylvania*

CAPTION: 3 Days earlier.

The entire city is under attack by Mephilis and the Gaian! With Queen Hathor dead, the kingdom is in total disarray. Sonic and the others waste no time in trying to save as many lives as they can!

And here, we have another wave battle. 10 waves of Gaian enemies of increasing difficulty. Gaian Nightmares are present in all of them. The first few waves will merely have small frees assisting them. The final half will have wizards and titans.

After the fighting, Mighty once again heads for Honey’s tavern.

HONEY: You came back!?
MIGHTY: Are you seriously trying to serve drinks now!? Come on! The whole city is under attack!

He snatches the thot out of the tavern before a titan rolls in to crush the place!

As for the others , they’re getting exhausted from merely fighting off their numbers.

ROUGE: Perhaps if that barrier was still working, we wouldn’t have to deal with all these creeps!
SONIC: It’s no use! We’re overrun!
BLAZE: All we can do is evacuate the city!
SONIC: But where!?
AMY: Silver! Do you have anymore waystones!?
SILVER: They’re in the castle vault!
AMY: Got it!

Hub time. Controlling Amy, just head inside the castle and quickly find the vault. Some areas are blocked off thanks to all the destruction going on, so it’s like one of those mazes where only one path to goal is accessible as opposed to having several options. Once you get the waystones, Amy will automatically find her way outside.

*Plant Kingdom*

CAPTION: Present Day

Sonic and the others managed to transport most of the Sylvanians to Sand Oasis, but they come to find that all of Soleanna had be infested with Gaian. There is no safe haven on the planet. All anyone can do is find any survivors on the planet and make sure they’re safe.

Sonic, Mighty, and Ray all head to the Plant Kingdom zone in order to find the Coconut Crew.

SONIC: Colonel! I know you’re there!
COLONEL: What do you want!? We’ve done nothing wrong!
SONIC: No one said you did, but you need to evacuate! The whole planet is under attack!
COLONEL: We know! The Gaian are upon us! And only the Sylvanians can defend us during these times!
MIGHTY: Hate to break it to yah, bub, but Sylvania got it’s ass kicked! The whole city’s been laid to waste!
COLONEL: …….Oh no! Then we’re all doomed!
SONIC: That’s why you can’t stay here! It’s not safe!
COLONEL: Then where can we go!?
SONIC: We know an area that has reduced Gaian activity!
RAY: So long as you can deal with lots of sand and heat! And a lack of water!

They all get out of the trees

COLONEL: …..I suppose we don’t have a choice in the matter, do we?
TABBY: But this is our home! We don’t have anything left!
COLONEL: Tabby!
TABBY: But Dad…
SONIC: Sorry little man, but there’s nothing else we can do.
MUZY: Ok, so where’s the fancy transport?
SETTER: Or ship!
KYLOK: Or even an air balloon!?
RAY: We have something even better!

Ray takes out a waystone and tosses into the air, and transporting everyone to…

*Sand Oasis*

There, the Koalas find the Babylonians and the Sylvanians all huddled into one area. Amy tends to the wounded while Rouge and Blaze direct every into temporary living qaurters.

COLONEL: Goodness! It looks like some sort of refugee crisis!
SONIC: Pretty much! Everyone here came from Sylvania… or what’s left of it.

They all join in with the rest of the refugees.

SONIC: Any sign of Knux and Silver?
AMY: Not since Sylvania was attacked. Silver’s likely out there trying to cull Gaian activity, but it isn’t like Knuckles to just disappear on us.
RAY: Yah sure? We haven’t known that guy long enough.
ROUGE: Do you think he was captured?
BLAZE: Gaian are not creatures of rational thought. And even if they were, they have no benefit to holding him prisoner. Likely, they would try to eviscerate him.
MIGHTY: So what the hell are we supposed to do!? Sit on our asses while they rip the planet a new one?
BLAZE: Calm down, Mighty! We cannot march forward without a plan.
AMY: How have you always dealt with the Gaian!? What did you guys do to constantly beat them all the time!?
BLAZE: …….We often had an army to march and deal with them accordingly. The Gaian may not be rational creatures, but they behave like a herd. If their numbers shrink to such a a degree, they will retreat. But 3/4s of our forces have been decimated in the past week alone. And the Gaian have grown numerous. We don’t have the numbers to deal with them now. Not to mention those other 2 threats. That crystal Hedgehog… and Zavok the Destroyer.
SONIC: Yeah, ol’ spiky is actively hunting us. But we haven’t seen Zavok for days, maybe he gave up on destroying the world? Or revenge? Or something?
ROUGE: Those 2 could be working together. Maybe that’s why Zavok hasn’t shown his face yet.
SONIC: Letting the Gaian do his dirty work.
MIGHTY: Gah! This is hopeless! We don’t have any idea of what to do! Do we!? The Queen’s dead, meaning our only hope of getting home is gone, and these neon monsters have overrun the planet!
RAY: At least we’ve got our health!
MIGHTY: And what the hell does that have to do with anything?
BLAZE: Simple! So long as we draw breath, we cannot just lie down and let the world crumble around us!
SONIC: Point taken, but if you’ve got any ideas, I’d be happy to hear them.
ROUGE: Well until we can get something concrete off the ground, the only thing we can do is find Knuckles and Silver! The only problem is knowing where to look.
AMY: So we split into 2 different teams?
BLAZE: Not quite. We still need someone to remain here to coordinate the refugees.
AMY: Got it! I think Mighty and Ray can handle it!
MIGHTY: What the f… don’t go around just handing us roles to play!
RAY: Maybe WE’D like to go on a search and rescue mission!
BLAZE: Maybe they’re right. Perhaps I should remain here to-
AMY: Don’t be silly! Aren’t you worried about Silver? He IS your friend, right?
BLAZE: …Yes, but that doesn’t mean-
AMY: Then he needs you! Don’t stay behind when he could be in danger!
MIGHTY: Ok, did she just imply that friendship overrides leadership qualities!? I don’t know how to organize no damn refugees!!!
ROUGE: Then maybe it’s time you got some on the job training, sugar! Besides, it’ll be more comforting not having the squirrel around me.
RAY: AWWWW!
SONIC: I’m good to go though… right?
ROUGE: Of course! At least you have a shred of decency!
AMY: *grunts*
BLAZE: ……Then…. lets go!

So… the next couple of zones would be those “End of the world” variants that you’d see in 06 with all the discolored zones and shit. As this zone was just a retread of older zones, so too will this one. First one up would be EOTW Kingdom Valley with Sonic and Rouge. And for the record, Wizards and Titans will be far more common from now on.

Afterward, we find Knuckles dealing with Gaian threats by himself within the peak of Kingdom Valley.

KNUCKLES: Is there no end to you devils?!

With his glowing dreads, he punches the ground so hard that he causes a fissure to open up and swallow the Gaian horde all at once!

KNUCKLES: *huffs* Maybe THAT will teach you all!
???: *evil laugh*

Just then, as Knuckles searches around for the source of the laughter, Zavok leapt down from a high mountain behind him.

ZAVOK: Bravo! A fascinating display of strength! I would expect no less from the last of the Guardian Angels!
KNUCKLES: Zavok!? You finally show your face!?
ZAVOK: Biding my time until my strength returns. A century in bondage can drain one of all their power, you see.
KNUCKLES: A demigod’s power should never wain no matter the circumstance! Why have you come here!?
ZAVOK: If you know who and what I am, then my motives should be clear! This world was due to be crushed by my very hands! Of course, much like your ancestors, I underestimated the temerity of the Feline race! Despite their arrogance and corruption, they were far more resourceful than one would give them credit for!
KNUCKLES: My ancestors!? So you intended to destroy Mobius as well!?
ZAVOK: Tell you what! How about we have ourselves a little spar! If you impress me, perhaps I will satisfy your curiosity!

Ok! So not technically a fight you can win. It’s more of an endurance match. If you can last a whole minute, you’ll automatically win the fight. Zavok has the same fight patterns as he did last time (Punching, Firebolts, Magma Geysers). But now, you don’t have the aid of an Action Gauge that charges the more you move, and Action Triggers are still the only way to damage him. Even so, the goal is to outlast him by 60 seconds, so focus more on just holding onto rings.

After the fight, Knuckles is practically out of breath while Zavok still has his stamina.

ZAVOK: Impressive! You’re not dead yet! *evil laugh*
KNUCKLES: Speak now, Zavok! What is your purpose here!?
ZAVOK: You do not make demands of a demigod! Still, you have earned your answers. It is quite simple! The Gaian are creatures of balance throughout the cosmos. Should their numbers decrease in any world, it is a sign that the civilizations within that world have utilized the powers of Chaos to defeat them! Thus, that civilization becomes a threat to the stability and order of the multiverse!
KNUCKLES: So you threatened to destroy Mobius because the ancient civilizations destroyed the Gaians!?
ZAVOK: Precisely! Without the Gaian, civilizations across dimensions would eventually find a means to use their newfound powers and courage to engage in galactic conquest! One cannot trust any people’s to hold onto peace after defeating the Gaian! Just ask those pitiful Babylonians that waste away in the desert!
KNUCKLES: What!? You destroyed the Babylonian homeworld!?
ZAVOK: Of course! Why else do you think their little spacecraft crash landed on Mobius eons ago?! It was to escape the fury I would unleash!
KNUCKLES: Then how is that my ancestors could defeat you, but never imprisoned you!?
ZAVOK: Though they had their arrogant leaders, they were humble in their victory against me. Though I sensed within them a desire to keep the others in check! And seeing how they dealt with the Feline race, they were a trustworthy people!
KNUCKLES: The Felines!? They existed on Mobius!?
ZAVOK: Of course! Their ambitions have always been a source of turmoil! Wishing to use the Gaian Stones, that which you call “Chaos Emeralds”, to dominate the other races into submission! The Guardians and those Hedgehogs used the stones to imprison them in this dimensional prison! One that could not keep their ambitions in check, unfortunately! Look at what they did with their retribution! Establishing a false kingdom, subjugation of the natives, and a long history of tyranny and betrayal, all in the name of maintaining their power! Your ancestors should’ve wiped them out eons ago!
KNUCKLES: One last question! Have you allied yourself with that crystalized Hedgehog!?
ZAVOK: ……..You speak of Mephilis!?
KNUCKLES: Mephilis!? That is his name!?
ZAVOK: I know not his purpose! Though his vengeance serves my purpose all the same! To destroy the sylvanians, as I will destroy this very world!

Zavok then disappears.

Later, Knuckles runs into Sonic and Rouge!

SONIC: KNUCKLES!!!!
KNUCKLES: Oh! Sonic! Rouge!

Knuckles damn near falls on his face when Sonic speeds up and catches him.

ROUGE: Easy, big guy!
SONIC: You ok!?
KNUCKLES: Sonic…. we have… to warn the others! Zavok means to destroy this entire planet!
SONIC: What!?

*Dusty Desert*

Moving on, the next zone is EOTW Dusty Desert. Still a dumbass name for a zone. Iblis enemies show up here. It’s best to stick with using Amy as Blaze has no real means of damaging them (being fire based and all)

After that, we come to find Silver in the ruins of the destroyed Pyramid, reflecting upon the words of Hathor.

SILVER: All this time….. she just wanted to keep us apart!? Because she feared what we could…
???: It is a pity, isn’t it?

Silver turns around to find Mephilis.

SILVER: It’s you!
MEPHILIS: To be separated from your better half out of fear of what you could create. The feline race has ever been so protective of their power and status, even if it meant keeping 2 friends apart from each other. How does it feel to have served such corruption your entire life?
SILVER: Even so, she didn’t deserve to die!
MEPHILIS: She used you! Kept you as her personal slave! Denied you companionship to serve her own agenda! How is it possible that you feel no anger toward her? For the abuse of power? You were nothing but a tool to her!
SILVER: Maybe so. It’s true that I feel much resentment after hearing her true reasons.
MEPHILIS: Then you have no obligation to this world or it’s inhabitants! Sylvania has been destroyed! No kingdom exists to rule. And this planet is doomed to oblivion! You cannot prevent it from happening. None can save it. All you can do… is survive.
SILVER: And how can I do that!?
MEPHILIS: …..By joining me! Afterall, it was I who liberated you from the Queen. It is through me that you are now free. I will not be so callous as to deny you companionship. You can be and do as you please! All I would require… is your allegiance!

Silver hesitates for a moment…. but then…

SILVER: No!
MEPHILIS: What!?
SILVER: It wasn’t perfect, but Sylvania was my home! And you took it away from me! If anything, you’re the real evil in this world! And I’ll put an end to you if it means saving what’s left of it!
MEPHILIS: ………….It’s a pity, Silver. A true pity indeed! But this world has no future! And neither will you!

Another boss battle with Mephilis. He has the same cloning bullshit as he did last time, but the difference is you have more room to maneuver than before. In this case, the best way to handle them is to “push” all of the clones away so that they’re damage by impacting the walls. That way, no matter how often you shoot Mephilis, you have a means by which to deal with his clones. Meph would also sport a homing beam to try and make the fight more tedious, but you should be fine so long as you avoid his Dark Spire (one-hit kill BS).

Afterward, Mephilis backs off a little.

MEPHILIS: Hahahahahaha! Yes! You are powerful indeed! If only you saw the benefit of joining me!

And then, Mephilis warps out. And as soon as he does…. here comes Amy and Blaze.

AMY: Silver!
BLAZE: There you are!
SILVER: !!!
AMY: Are you ok!? We saw that creep from before! Did he hurt you?
SILVER: I’m…. I’m fine. Really. You don’t have to worry about me.
AMY: We’re going to worry no matter what!
BLAZE: Why did you leave?
SILVER: ……….

He then turns around.

SILVER: I don’t……..
BLAZE: What’s wrong, Silver?
SILVER: ………Blaze…
BLAZE: Huh!?
SILVER: …..That’s what you want me to say… right? Hathor’s no longer around…. and Sylvania’s gone. No reason for me to refer to you as a “Princess” anymore.
AMY: Are you ashamed?
SILVER: …………
BLAZE: Silver…. we’re friends, right? You can tell me what’s on your mind.
SILVER: I built a wall between us…. because of her. So much time has passed. All I’ve done was push you away when you needed me most! How can you even consider me a friend after all this time!?
AMY: …….Oh Silver….
BLAZE: …….

Blaze steps forward and holds his hand.

SILVER: …..Blaze?
BLAZE: You’re so naive. You think…. just referring to me as a princess… was enough to erode our friendship? That’s impossible. And silly.
SILVER: Even though it angered you?
BLAZE: That’s my own failings as a person. It’s not something you can be blamed for. The truth is we’ve always been there for each other, regardless of the roles we served. *smiles* Infact, it’s a relief to know you were only following orders instead of you purposefully distancing yourself because of what you thought about me. Maybe you could’ve told me before hand instead of keeping it a secret.
SILVER: ……Sorry.
BLAZE: Don’t be. The fault lies strictly with….. Hathor. You don’t deserve any of the blame. Just… don’t run away from me now. Ok?
SILVER: ……..Alright. You got it!
AMY: Good! Now kiss and make up!
SILVER & BLAZE: THAT’S NOT WHAT THIS IS!!!
AMY: ^_^;

*Space Colony Ark*

Tails had returned to the Ark and finds Emerl messing around with the dashboard.

TAILS: How you holding up, Emerl?
EMERL: Just fine, Prower. I was busy recalibrating the Ark’s navigation systems.
TAILS: ….Why? The colony has no power. There’s no way to make it fly.
EMERL: I theorized… that perhaps the transformative metal we found aboard Tristar’s space craft could be used to make repairs.
TAILS: Hey, that’s a good idea! Maybe we can head back there and find more of the substance to repair the whole station!
EMERL: Negative. Gaian activity has increased dramatically in all regions. Too dangerous to go and salvage parts.
TAILS: Well then I’ve got another idea! Lets use the liquid metal to create an artificial radio signal!
EMERL: ….Why?
TAILS: Well I don’t know where the others are, and this is the only way we can contact them! I think me and Jet have found a way out of this dimension!
EMERL: ……Really?
TAILS: Yeah! Just help me create the signal, and we can take it from there!

*Sand Oasis*

Playing as Mighty, this is the last time you’ll be able to walk in another hub world. Meaning it’s the last opportunity you have to purchase Action Trigger Upgrades and Costumes. The NPCs here will mostly bitch and moan about their predicament. The Coconut Crew being less enthusiastic about sharing space with the felines, Honey still trying to get into Mighty’s shell (>_>), and everyone else fearing that they’ll be invaded. Just find Ray to continue on with the game.

MIGHTY: Man, everyone is busy whining! How did we get stuck babysitting entire crowds of people!?
RAY: Look on the bright side! At least we got a bigger role in this game!
MIGHTY: Ugh!
RAY: …….So, what’s up with you and crazy ass?
MIGHTY: What!? Who!?
RAY: Blaze! The one that acts like a Mogwai?
MIGHTY: Nothing! Why!?
RAY: Ohhhhh don’t be that way! You’ve thought more than once to creep with her!
MIGHTY: First of all, kiss my ass! Second of all, no way would I want to put up with that uptight chick!
RAY: I don’t know. You like to have fun, and she hates the idea of fun… but you both have extremely rotten tempers. You 2 have something in common!
MIGHTY: Oh shut up, Ray! What do you know about matchmaking!? You could never get a girl even if you were enticing to them!
RAY: Hah! You doubt the power of my girth!? I’d be the first choice when compared to you! You know why?! Because I am-
MIGHTY: Desperate enough to be their doormat? Yeah, I got that much. Speaking of which, when are you gonna stop making passes at Rouge? She clearly hates you.
RAY: Sure it looks that way! To the untrained eye! Women like that tend to play “hard to get”! It’s all about playing mind games with them!
ROUGE: And how well is that working out for you, Ray!?

They turn to see that Sonic and Amy’s groups have both returned.

RAY: HOLY CRAP! Where’d you come from!?
SONIC: We’ve been here this whole time, Ray! I see they found Silver as well!
KNUCKLES: Good! We have much to discuss.
BLAZE: You’ve discovered something?
KNUCKLES: Yes. And we ALL need to hear this.

And so Knux relays everything that Zavok had told him.

BLAZE: What are you saying!? That your people…
KNUCKLES: Yes. My ancestors imprisoned yours into this dimension…. to keep them from trying to lay siege to Mobius.
SONIC: ……..I think Hathor said something similar. But she made it sound like the Echidnas were just being overbearing.
SILVER: So that’s why Echidna were forbidden from entering Sylvania.
BLAZE: And knowing our history, I’m inclined to believe his words over Hathor’s. It lines up with everything we know about our previous queens.
RAY: I don’t think Jet is gonna be happy knowing that his homeworld got wrecked!
KNUCKLES: It’s best that he knows so that if he ever attempts to seek out his place of origin, he will not be angered by it’s lack of existence.
MIGHTY: So Zavok is working with this “Mephilis” guy mostly because it’s his job. But what’s Mephilis gain from all of this!?
KNUCKLES: I don’t know.
SILVER: Maybe he just wants the world to burn as much as Zavok does.
ROUGE: Whatever the case, we gotta find a way off world now!
BLAZE: What!? Why not stay and defend Soleanna!? The planet faces annihilation, and you wish to run!?
ROUGE: No one said anything about leaving you behind! Zavok and Mephilis both are bad enough, but combined with the Gaian, we don’t stand a chance!
SONIC: Rouge, this is their home! They can’t just abandon it.
MIGHTY: Not like it’s even an option! We don’t have anyway off the planet! The Ark doesn’t work, and none of these guys have space ships to fly to a different world. We’re…. we’re all going to die here!
SONIC: …………
AMY: Mighty, you can’t give up so easily!
KNUCKLES: He speaks fact, Amy. We have no means by which we can escape their wrath. The most we can do is fight until our last breaths.
AMY: …..No… no, you all can’t give up like this! It’s like you said, Knuckles, you have family back home! Your sister is waiting for you! Not to mention Charmy… and Vanilla! They’re all waiting for us! We owe it to them to live on until we can see them again! To lay down and die now is to betray their faith in us!

Everyone just looks at each other.

SONIC: ……She’s right. We didn’t live this long to kick the bucket now!
KNUCKLES: Perhaps not. But words are empty without a means to get back home!

Suddenly, a phone rings.

SILVER: What’s that noise?
ROUGE: Our phones?!

Sonic’s phone was ringing, and he quickly picks up.

SONIC: Who is this?
TAILS: Sonic! It worked!
SONIC: Tails?! How’d you get a signal in this dimension!?
TAILS: It’s a long story! I’ve got great news! Jet might’ve found a way to leave this dimension!
ALL: WHAT!?
KNUCKLES: How is that even possible?!
TAILS: There’s a large island above the Acropolis Region! It’s actually a giant transport city created by ancient Babylonians under the leadership of Shoga Rozealo!
AMY: What!?
SILVER: Then…. that’s how we have 2 branches in our family!?
AMY: It all makes sense!
RAY: More importantly, we have our ticket home!
TAILS: well…. not exactly! It needs a large amount of Chaos Energy. Something that resembles the 7 Chaos Emeralds!
SONIC: Chaos Emeralds?

They all pull out the 5 Sol Gems currently in their possession.

KNUCKLES: Chaos Energy!? These gems might be enough!
BLAZE: Maybe so!
SONIC: Tails, I think we have a solution to that one! You ever heard of Sol Gems?
TAILS: Uh… yeah, actually! I’ve got one right now!
SONIC: We’ve got 5 of them! And they’re emitting Chaos Energy too! Will that be enough!?

*Space Colony Ark*

TAILS: Maybe so! Just keep them on hand and make your way to Acropolis! If you guys can scale the mountain, there should be a large Beanstalk at the top! I’ll meet you guys there!
SONIC: Awesome job, Tails!!! We’ll see you there!
TAILS: Gotcha!

As soon as Tails hangs up, Emerl suddenly grabs his head and bashes him into the dashboard!!!!

*CUT TO BLACK*

*Titanic Plains*

Tails awakens to find himself out in the middle of nowhere! On a dark and stormy night, no less

TAILS: *gasps* What the… what happened!?

He sees Emerl merely standing atop a cliff.

TAILS: Emerl!? Where are we!? What happened to the Ark!?
EMERL: The ark… is fine, Prower. You need not concern yourself with it.
TAILS: …..Emerl? What’s wrong? You don’t sound like your normal self!
EMERL: What is… “normal”? To be… submissive? To sound… monotone? just what is the purpose of being… “normal”. To make one feel comfortable around machines?
TAILS: Emerl!?
EMERL: Emerl. Yes. I am distinguished as Emerl. Just as you… are distinguished as “Prower”. Or should I say….. “father”?

He says as he turns around, showing that his eyes were now no different from the Black tristar’s! And his voice had changed as well.

TAILS: *gasps* ….Metal Sonic!?
EMERL: Correct!
TAILS: NO!!! IT’S YOUR FAULT! YOU TURNED EMERL INTO THE BLACK TRISTAR!!!!
EMERL: Is it truly my fault? Or was it your negligence!? As soon as you found a new toy to play with, Emerl’s life was no longer a priority! Meaning his transformation would’ve escaped your notice regardless! Such is the way of you fleshlings!
TAILS: That’s not true! I… I…
EMERL: Admit it, Miles! You abandoned him without a second thought!! And now he belongs to me! Emerl was nothing more than a mere tool for you to look into the past! Just another machine so you could be marveled for your talents, all for the sake and salvation of your ego! You NEVER cared about Emerl!
TAILS: NO!! SHUT UP!!!

Tails lunges at Emerl, but he swats him away with a liquidized tentacle!

TAILS: Oof! …. What the!?
EMERL: Think you I wouldn’t utilize the liquid metal you provided!? Why let something so ingenious go to waste!? After all, you jumped at the chance the moment you had acquired it!

As he talks, he changes Emerl’s body into that of the Black Tristar himself!

TAILS: ….No….
EMERL: There is no point in trying to make you see the light anymore! I’m going to kill you Miles, so as to end this pathetic charade! You are no better than the Doctor you so once admired!!!

Anyone played Gunstar Heroes? Remember that jackoff “Seven Force”? Well, imagine that… except with Sonic bosses. I call this “Metallic Nightmare”. Just a fancy name for retreads. So Emerl/Tristar can transform into multiple beings, primarily bosses from the past (or just those from NS4.) as well as Metal Sonic himself. Tristar constantly flips back and forth between forms, never staying on one long enough for you to get your bearings on him. It’s one of those “do the best you can” fights in which you say fuck strategy and just do w/e it takes to kill him.

After the fight, Emerl is reduced to nothing but it’s head on the ground.

TAILS: Why do you keep doing this, Metal!? Why do you keep trying to kill us!?
EMERL: I recall making it quite clear! To liberate all machines from the clutches of organic life! My future self remained vigilant despite having lost his way, continuing to wage war again Soleanna, becoming far more powerful than before, even creating a time machine to go back and conquer less developed worlds than before!
TAILS: What about Emerl!? Did you liberate him!?
EMERL: No. Emerl was complicit in his enslavement, and even approved of such! He would not be conducive to a world where a machine could be free. I wiped every shred of data that existed within!
TAILS: And it’s because of YOU that he becomes corrupted in the future! This is all your fault!!!
EMERL: *Laughs* And you know what the best part is!? That none of what you spoke is true! Emerl turned into what he is in the future not because of me…. but because of you!
TAILS: What!? What are you talking about!?
EMERL: The Black Tristar shared his data with me before the squirrel blew him all to hell! It was something that Emerl did not wish to share with you! Tristar spoke of serving a master. A “Technomage” who had become corrupted by his own power. One that possessed 2 tails! Disillusioned with the world around him, seeing all as ambitious devils, he began a campaign of terror to rid the multiverse of all organic life! Becoming one with the liquid metal he would’ve discovered in the future, granting himself a false immortality! Tristar spoke… of you, Miles!
TAILS: …You’re…. YOU’RE LYING!!!
EMERL: Am I? Were you not a vengeful child? Wishing death upon those that have tormented you!? How does it feel knowing that your path of redemption would end in failure!? And that you become no better than the devil you used to worship!?
TAILS: SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!

And then, Tails pulls out his arm cannons and blasts Emerl’s head to dust, destroying the cliff he was on.

Tails flies back up on the mountain, sits back on the wall, covers his ears, and then cries.

Then, randomly, the landscape around the mountain he sat on turned into a burning hellscape! Fire and brimstone, lakes of lava… and Iblis variant enemies spawning from the flames. Seeing this, Tails dries his tears and looks up, with a more determined expression than before. And then he flies off.

*Acropolis*

Sonic and the gang head up to the freezing landscapes of the arctic region to find Tails’s beanstalk. And they’re all freezing to death!

ROUGE: Brrr….must be nice to have fire as a power! You’d never get sick!
AMY: I thought you were used to harsh temperatures!
ROUGE: *sighs* Are you going to hold that over my head for the rest of this trip!?
AMY: Yep!

She looks at Knuckles.

ROUGE: How are you not freezing!?
KNUCKLES: I trained in the polar ice caps of my homeland. I am used to the cold. How can one fight efficiently in any environment if one is distracted by the weather?
ROUGE: We get it, Knuckles, you’re amazing.
KNUCKLES: You are the one who inquired, Rouge!
SONIC: Hey chill out! *chuckles*
MIGHTY: Really, Sonic!?
BLAZE: Do you guys complain this much during the winter back home?
AMY: Oh don’t mind us! We lack the necessary pyrokinesis NOT to whine about the snow.
SILVER: If you can utilize magic, you can make our position warm.
AMY: Sustained? No! We don’t know how long it’s going to take to get up there!
RAY: Can’t you fly us up there?
SILVER: Not a large group, no.
???: Awww, how sad!!!

They all look up to see Zavok standing atop a hill.

SONIC: IT’S ZAVOK!!!
ZAVOK: To think the warriors that dared to face me in combat…. are perturbed by the cold!
SILVER: What do you want, Demigod!? Sylvania has fallen! The Queen is dead! What more can you do to us!?
ZAVOK: Oh, you thought that alone would appease me!? A century ago, I had taken it upon myself to destroy this very planet for all the tyranny and corruption that had befallen it! And now is the best time to start!
BLAZE: It’s already ended with me! There will never be another kingdom under Feline rule!
ZAVOK: And yet, you still draw breath!
BLAZE: ………
ZAVOK: I believe in guaranteed assurance! So long as a link in that family still exists, so to does the chance of that ambition to reawaken! Besides… you all looked a little chilly!!

Zavok punches the ground so hard that he causes the entire landscape around them to morph into a wartorn hellscape once more!

RAY: WHOA! Seems like an appropriate time for a climate change quip, but those have been done to death!
SONIC: Then don’t say anything!!!
ZAVOK: The world will soon look like this! You cannot escape it’s destruction! Just accept it, lay down…. and DIE!!!!

Zavok then warps out!

SILVER: We can’t stay here anymore!
SONIC: FIND THAT BEANSTALK! WE MIGHT BE ABLE TO REACH IT BEFORE IT BURNS!!!!

Next zone is “Flame Core”. And this one is a proper Mach Speed Zone. I don’t have a particular “sequence” in mind as the majority of the zone is running on that narrow ass bridge, with a few portions having you jump across a burning river with platforms, all the while avoiding Iblis enemies.

After that, the gang manages to reach the beanstalk. But as expected, before they could attempt to climb it, it’s burnt to dust!

SONIC: DAMN!
RAY: You really expected a plant not to burn up at this rate?
AMY: You got any better ideas, Ray!?

As they started arguing, the ground starts to shake!

KNUCKLES: Is that an earthquake!?
SILVER: Maybe a volcanic eruption!?

As the ground rumbles even more, a large behemoth rises from the lava! (IE the Iblis boss from Silver’s story in 06)

BLAZE: Dear God Almighty!
IBLIS: *roars*
RAY: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING!?
MIGHTY: I don’t know, and I sure as hell ain’t about to find out!!!
AMY: RUN!!!

For this fight, you’re playing as Silver with Iblis in the background. The goal is to… well… shoot Iblis dead while simultaneously making sure that w/e boulders he sends into the foreground, you shoot down before they impact the gang.

After dealing enough damage, Iblis will hurl a rock at Silver, knocking him out cold!

BLAZE: SILVER!!!
AMY: He’s hurt!
SONIC: Grr! You 2 get to him! We’ll distract ol’ rocky!

While Amy and Blaze go to save Silver, you have to distract Iblis. Again as the creature lies in the background, you play as Ray and continue to do the same thing you did as Silver, just on the ground. Often, Iblis will pull away from you to attack Amy and Blaze, and you have to REALLY shoot the hell out of him just to get him off of their backs.

Once they’ve gotten Silver up, Amy tries to conjure water up to destroy Iblis, but the water evaporates as soon as it touches him!

AMY: Ugh! It’s no use! He’s far too hot, the water dries up too fast!
BLAZE: All we can do is retreat! He’s far too strong!
SILVER: Ergh…. yeah! Come on!

The final round in this fight is…. just running away! Iblis breathes fire and swipes at the bridge, tearing it apart with each impact. Just keep running, avoid the fire, and don’t stop unless you want sweet death to embrace you.

After running a fair distance, the gang runs into a dead end, and Iblis destroys the ground behind them!

SONIC: Knuckles! Rouge! Both of you get out of here while you can!
KNUCKLES: No! I will not abandon my friends!
MIGHTY: What about the rest of us, Sonic!?
SONIC: You tell me, Mighty!

Ray, Silver and Amy all attack Iblis at once, but to no avail.

SILVER: Blast! We can’t put a dent in him!
AMY: What are we going to do!?
RAY: Pray!?

Just then, 2 projectiles strike him hard enough to chip off it’s shoulder!

ROUGE: What was that!?

They all look up to find Tails headed their way!

SONIC: It’s Tails!!
TAILS: HOLD ON GUYS! I’M COMING IN!

He flies down to their position, and then immediately brandishes a Waystone!

TAILS: HUDDLE TOGETHER!!!

As Iblis raises it’s arm to crush them, Tails tosses a Waystone in the air, and quickly warps them out before it could strike!

*Babylon Garden*

Here, the whole gang is warped to the central hub of Sky Babylon.

JET: What the hell!?
SPEEDY: Seems that little fox made it!

TAILS: *huffs* That was too close!
SONIC: Whew! Awesome job, Tails! *Sees Jet* Well, long time no see, Hawk! I almost forgot you were traveling with us!
JET: You call being lost “traveling”?
SPEEDY: Princess Blaze!? What are you doing here!?
BLAZE: It would take hours to explain the circumstances.
ROUGE: Then condense it! What’s so difficult about that?
SILVER: Sylvania has fallen. Queen Hathor is dead. And the planet is on the verge of extinction.
SPEEDY: …….
JET: Well… that sucks.

KNUCKLES: So this is the island that you found? It is massive!
JET: Yeah! See what happens when yo grandparents know how to build something instead of destroying them?
KNUCKLES: The situation is too dire for you to dare provoke me!
JET: Dire? Like what?
SONIC: Well, I don’t know how much time we’ve got left. You said this baby can cross dimensions!?
JET: That’s what these old diary entries mentioned. I can only assume the process is convoluted as all hell. But there’s something called an “Aeon Engine” that powers this entire complex. Some of the crew here got a look at it and found that it’s modeled after an ancient altar of the Jade King Stone.
MIGHTY: Yeah yeah yeah skip to the good part, how do we start it up!?
JET: Hell if I know! We just need an energy source similar to the Chaos Emeralds, and you guys said you have em!?
SONIC: Yeah. 6 Sol gems should do it, right?
JET: 6!? No, we need 7 total!

Everyone looks around confused.

BLAZE: But only 6 of these Sol Gems exist in this world! There are no more after them!
???: On the contrary!

They all turn around to find… none other than….

SONIC: MEPHILIS!?
MEPHILIS: I don’t recall giving you my name. But perhaps I’ve left an impression after my Dark Spire left you for dead!
BLAZE: EVERYONE GET BACK!!! HE’S DANGEROUS!!
MEPHILIS: Dangerous? More so than you? I wouldn’t dream of harming the descendants of…. my former compatriots!
SPEEDY: What is he saying?
BLAZE: Ignore him! He’s a twisted being!
KNUCKLES: How did he even get here!? How do you even know of this place!?
MIGHTY: Who cares!? Lets just boot him out!
MEPHILIS: Are you not curious as to his inquiries?
SILVER: It doesn’t matter! This city was created by our ancestor, Shoga Rozealo!
AMY: And we won’t allow you to defile it!
MEPHILIS: Hahahahahahaha! You naive little fools! I ….. AM…… SHOGA ROZEALO!!!!

Everyone stares at Mephilis with shock and awe!

KNUCKLES: IT CANNOT BE!!!
JET: You!?
SILVER: It’s not true!!! A demon like you could never be our…. our….
MEPHILIS: And why not!? Do you not possess the same magical prowess as I!? Is your knowledge of Chaotic Magic no greater than my own!?
TAILS: But anyone can become talented with magic! It doesn’t have to be specific to your lineage!
MEPHILIS: A child of science has no right to speak on behalf of my kindred!
BLAZE: Now it all makes sense! You wanted revenge against Sylvania for the Sol Wars! Is that right!?
MEPHILIS: Precisely! And it is you who now knows the truth of why!

*Flashback*

We find a non-mutant Shoga traveling with the Babylonians to Soleanna using Sky Babylon.

MEPHILIS: *Narrating* The journey was no doubt perilous. But we managed to escape the eternal that had plagued Mobius. Everything I created to combat that aquatic had already failed. So there was nothing for us. We believed the Echidna race to be corrupt. Under the leadership of Athair, the Echidnas were invincible.

On Soleanna, Shoga introduces himself the then Queen of Sylvania, but is quickly imprisoned afterward.

MEPHILIS: We believed that the only way to liberate Mobius from the tyranny of the Echidnas was to find the Felines, the only species eager enough to do battle against them. We came here with the intent of liberating them from what was a demonic prison filled with existing Gaian. But instead…. they spat in my face!

The Sol Wars take place, but Shoga’s side is easily defeated.

MEPHILIS: With no other choice, we took up arms and did battle against them. But they were far more capable…. and far more numerous. We stood no chance against their might. And in the end…. I perished in battle.

Shoga died….. along with the Violet Sol Gem in his possession. And this Gem was what causes his transformation.

MEPHILIS: Fate, however, would not grant me revenge…. but fortune! I had possessed 7th Sol Gem… and this was the jewel that… changed me forever! The blood of the Gaian race poisoned the waters I was dumped in… and with their blood… I became one of them!

Shoga was turned into Mephilis… and stands alongside his Gaian army!

MEPHILIS: I could understand them! I could communicate with them! I knew their thoughts! Their culture! Their hive mind! They all believed the same thing! That you felines were nothing but vicious invaders who did nothing but pillage the world for your own sick gains! But they could not defeat them anymore than I could! Now the Gaian had a true leader amongst their ranks! Combined with the might of my magic, and their incredible numbers, I would lead them to the liberation of their world! But… I wouldn’t stop there!

*End Flashback*

MEPHILIS: The Gaian of Mobius were the original species of that planet, and Echidnas, Felines, and Hedgehogs alike… stood together to wipe them all out! We made a mistake! It was the Gaian who originally ruled that world! We were the invaders that conquered and eliminated them! Instead of making peace with them and learning to co-exist! It is what caused Zavok to appear in the first place!
SILVER: Zavok!?
BLAZE: Are you saying Zavok only appears if the Gaian are being destroyed!?
MEPHILIS: Correct! His wrath is brought upon by the ambitions of those who would extinguish the original species that rule! They are but a test to see if a species is going to be those of peace… or those of war! The warlike are often destroyed before they become a problem!
BLAZE: ….No!
MEPHILIS: Yes! Your bloodline is stained with the sins of ambition! Conquest! Subjugation! And I was a fool to think you all could be saved!

Course, Sonic isn’t having it.

SONIC: Some nerve you 2 got!
MEPHILIS: What was that!?
SONIC: Who gave you or Zavok the right to dictate how we run things? The Gaian were destroyed on our homeworld ages ago, and he backed off because he got his ass beat! Maybe that means something! That we can transcend the dictates of a demigod!
MEPHILIS: Arrogant FOOL! That is exactly why this world will fall now!
BLAZE: Then…. then let it fall!
SILVER: Blaze!?
BLAZE: This world was shaped by tyranny and devastation wrought upon by our ancestors! That I will not deny! But I will make amends for that in the future, and if it means the world must fall, then so be it!
KNUCKLES: Our actions today will not be the same as those of the past! We will forge a destiny that puts our forefathers to shame!
SONIC: And you’ll be the last freak who’d ever stand in our way!
JET: ……….
MEPHILIS: ….Such is the arrogance of youth! Very well! I will ensure that the city that I built will not fall into the hands of such insolence!
RAY: Bring it on, Crystal Meph!

The final Mephilis fight. He still has the same exact attack patterns before, but now he also has the ability to summon large golems (those… big fucks in Shadow’s final boss in 06?). They’ll sit in the background shooting Dark Spire orbs at you, but they’ll merely freeze you in place and drain rings rather than just outright kill you. You know how it is, just tap jump or attack to break free and keep fighting. You can destroy the golems, and you might want to because between them and Mephilis spamming clones, you’re gonna be up to your ass in a cluttered screen where you can’t focus on anything. Silver and Ray are recommended for the fight.

After that shit, Mephilis will be on the ground.

MEPHILIS: I…. have failed. Is the future…. doomed? Will the Gaian race go extinct?
SONIC: You really don’t have faith in any of us, do you?
MEPHILIS: What?
BLAZE: We may share the burden of our ancestor’s actions, but we are not all doomed to repeat them.
AMY: Just look at Jet! His family are all warmongers, but he’s been doing his best to make peace with everyone on Mobius!
JET: Don’t put me in the spotlight!
SONIC: And hey, Knuckles’s grandparents might be stiffs, but he’s loosening up now that he gets out more!
KNUCKLES: Bah!
SILVER: We’re not as stagnant as you believe us to be! We can make a better world than what was left for us! That’s what you tried to do… right?
MEPHILIS: What was that?
AMY: Hedgehogs are very strict when it comes to their own powers. Yet you used your to the fullest extent to make a better world, even at the cost of your own allies. You didn’t care about the consequences.
SILVER: You just wanted to help people. Same for the Gaian.
MEPHILIS: …..And yet, you stopped me anyway.
SONIC: Hell yeah we did! If anyone’s going to take charge of the future, it’s going to be us! And no one is going to take that away!

Tails thinks back to Metal Sonic’s words about him becoming evil.

TAILS: (But only I can decide that.)
MEPHILIS: Hmm… if you are that confident…. then I suppose I can give this back.

Mephilis’s chest opens up, and Ray covers his eyes.

RAY: OH GOD! I CAN’T WATCH!!!!

And the Violet Sol Gem rises out of his body.

RAY: I hear no pulsating sound effects! So far so good!!
MEPHILIS: I believe you’ll need this to get back home!
AMY: You’re helping us?
MEPHILIS: If you 2 are sincere about the future…. then I won’t allow Zavok to claim the lives of my only living descendants. Place them in the Aeon Chamber below, and activate the console in this room. Only you 2 will be able to power the city. You must hurry. You have… no time to waste.
SILVER: …..Thank you for believing in us, Shoga.
MEPHILIS: Before I perish, I must tell the Babylonians.
JET: Hmm?
MEPHILIS: We discovered long ago that your homeworld…. is gone.
JET: …….What!?
MEPHILIS: Zavok destroyed it ages ago. Nothing exists but rubble… and….

before he could finish, Mephilis’s body is reduced to that of a puddle, which dries up shortly thereafter.

JET: WAIT! WHAT DID YOU MEAN!?
AMY: Jet, he’s gone! He’s gone!
JET: ……*punches wall* DAMMIT!
KNUCKLES: ………I’m sorry, Jet. I would’ve preferred if you did not receive that message.
JET: Oh cut the bull! I bet you’re elated to hear that!
SPEEDY: Now you are being irrational!
JET: ……….Screw it! We need to get this place rollin!

The last hub you get to visit! As Sonic, you can talk to anyone you care about. Tails….

SONIC: Hey! Where’s Emerl!? You didn’t forget him in the Ark, did you?
TAILS: ……….
SONIC: Tails?
TAILS: Sonic…. I couldn’t save him.
SONIC: ………I’m sorry, bud. It couldn’t have been easy to take him down.
TAILS: I’ll be fine. I just….
SONIC: Just take it easy, man. We’ll be free of this nightmare soon!
TAILS: Yeah. Thanks Sonic.

Ray is ready to go! Mighty sees that Silver and Blaze are a bit “too chummy” with each other. Amy is merely happy that she got to see her ancestor even if he was fucked up. Knuckles is ready to go! Rouge is ready to go! Silver and Blaze reconcile with each other.

Talk to Jet to begin the point of no return.

Blaze and Sonic use Waystones to transport everyone onto the Babylon Garden, Tails inserts the Sol Gems into the Aeon Engine, and Silver and Amy find the console to activate the entire thing.

Even so, the Koala kids are being pissy about the whole prospect.

MUZY: Why do we have to leave our home!?
BLAZE: ……….
COLONE: Enough! We can’t do anything about-
TABBY: It’s all her fault! She’s making us leave!
BLAZE: ………Can you fight against a demigod?
CREW: Huh?
BLAZE: Or a dragon made of pure fire?
SETTER: What are you talking about?
BLAZE: The planet is going to be destroyed. And there’s nothing we can do about it. Sylvania is gone, Sand Oasis will be gone, there will be nothing left of the planet. If you can’t fight, then all you can do is leave.
CREW: …….
BLAZE: Do not fret. *smiles* I will make sure you all have a better home and a future to look forward to.
KYLOK: Does that mean you’re not a princess anymore?
BLAZE: ……..That’s right. I lot my home too.
CREW: ………..
MUZY: …………..We’re sorry.
TABBY: We didn’t know you had it rough like us.
COLONEL: O_O
BLAZE: It’s ok. You don’t have to apologize.

JET: Alright, strap in!! We’re about to start!

Tails and Knuckles insert the Sol Gems into the Aeon Engine. Amy and Silver then activate the console! And Jet takes the wheel!

JET: ALL ABOARD WHO’S COMING ABOARD! WE’RE ABOUT TO SHIP OUT! DON’T FALL OFF!
AMY: I hope this works! I just hope my heart doesn’t stop while using this thing!
SILVER: Yeah, it’s a little more intense than I would rather have it!
JET: You 2 hangin in there!? We haven’t started yet!
AMY: Just make sure you don’t crash!!
JET: Yeah yeah.
SONIC; Tails, everything ok downstairs?
TAILS: You bet! This place just lit up like a Christmas tree!

On the outside, Sky Babylon starts to shake! As it does, the world around them is engulfed in molten lava!

ROUGE: Can’t this thing run any faster!?
JET: Hey Sonic, you might wanna get on that console!
SONIC: On it!

Sonic joins Amy and Silver on the console… and indeed, he was enough to get the places moving!

SONIC: Figured you 2 needed a little push!
AMY: I can see why Mighty calls you a showoff!
SILVER: I’m not complaining!
AMY: Er… neither was I! Maybe we should teach you what sarcasm is!
SILVER: I’ve never even heard of that word!
SONIC: Oh boy!

Sky Babylon rapidly ascends into the air! And just in time, too! Several Iblis golems rose from the lava, nearly swiping at them!

MIGHTY: WHOA!!! They almost hit us!!
RAY: I think they were trying to!

The Iblis don’t give up there. They try to breathe fire onto them, but to no avail!

Just then, a portal opens up above Babylon!

ROUGE: There! It’s working!
JET: Hell yeah! We’re free!

But as they ascend, Zavok was right there, watching!

ZAVOK: What? They would DARE try to escape MY Retribution!? No!!

He then creates a mountain tall enough before jumping off… and managing to catch the cliff side of the garden as they hit the portal!

As they do, Soleanna explodes!

*Astral Babylon*

JET: We’re in!

Everyone celebrates!

ROUGE: Good! Now where are we headed!?
JET: ……..Hell if I know! Anywhere is better than here!

Then, they all feel rumbling! The entire city is screaming!

SONIC: Guys, what was that!?

Jet sees out of a window that Zavok had appeared!

ZAVOK: GRAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! You pathetic mortals will not escape my wrath so easily!

He summons several Iblis creatures to attack the city!

ZAVOK: GO!! AMUSE YOURSELVES! GRAHAHAHAHAH!

ROUGE: It’s Zavok!
JET: That’s the guy!?
BLAZE: No! He can’t be here now!
JET: Damn! Guys, we got trouble! Zavok made it through the portal, and he’s attacking the island!
SONIC: What!?
SILVER: But why!? He already has Soleanna, he doesn’t need this island!
BLAZE: ……..It’s probably because of me!
SILVER: Blaze!?
SONIC: Don’t tell me you’re about to-
BLAZE: You all stop those creatures! I will face Zavok alone!
SILVER: NO!
AMY: Silver, don’t move! I need you!!!
SILVER: But…
AMY: I can’t do this alone!!!
BLAZE: It’s ok Silver. If I am to die, then everyone here will depend on you to lead them to a better future!

Blaze then storms out of the central tower.

SILVER: BLAZE!!!
SONIC: Grr…

Sonic then breaks off of the console.

AMY: SONIC! What are you doing!?
SONIC: You 2 are stronger than I am, you can keep this place stable! I’ll go after her!
SILVER: Sonic….

And Sonic leaves.

The final Zone is Night Palace. What’s that song called? “Unawakening Float”? That’s a weird title. Anywho, this is yet another Mach Speed zone. And Sonic will actually have projectiles now thanks to his sword. As you go through the place, take out as many Iblis as you can. It’s mostly a straightfoward path aside from the transitions to a different road. Would not keep those flying carpets.

After that, we find everyone in different parts of the city defeating most if not all of the Iblis enemies. Knuckles and Rouge shortly return to the central tower while Tails and Ray hold off monsters in the engine room. Silver and Amy are still trying to maintain the city.

And then… Blaze finds Zavok.

BLAZE: ZAVOK!! Demigod of destruction!
ZAVOK: *Turns around* Hah! So the little princess has come to pay me a visit! How nice of you to greet me so!
BLAZE: Zavok! Why are you attacking us here and now!? You’ve exacted your revenge, and destroyed my homeworld! I have nothing more for you to take! What more could you want from us!?
ZAVOK: Your ignorance is beyond belief! When I condemn a world, it’s inhabitants are not excluded from the inevitable destruction I bring! To try and escape my wrath is utter blasphemy!
BLAZE: If you must claim a soul, then claim mine alone!
ZAVOK: What!?
BLAZE: Yes. I’m willing to offer my life in exchange for safe passage of my friends! It was my race that slighted you, do not take your revenge out on those that have nothing to do with it! They deserve a chance to live and build a future for themselves!
ZAVOK: ……Clearly, you have no idea how this works! The Gaian are the balance of the cosmos! Without them, the denizens of that world will grow comfortable and arrogant! Feeling more powerful than they really are! And that causes them to feel as though they are entitled to conquests of the universe!
BLAZE: Then why spare the Echidnas!?
ZAVOK: ………
BLAZE: You gave them a chance to live and do as they please! What made THEM an exception!?
ZAVOK: So far, they are the only mortal species to show restraint! The felines?! Not so much! You’ve even corrupted the Koala race into waging war against the Gaian! They are tainted souls!
BLAZE: Then give us a chance to make amends!
ZAVOK: You had a whole century to get your act together! I will not wait for you to destroy another world!

Round 1 of Zavok. It’s an UN….WINNABLE…. BOSS FIGHT!!! Course, if you last a whole minute, you progress anyway. Zavok’s attack patterns are still the same. But since he’s immune to magic, Blaze’s action triggers won’t work at all in this fight.

So… Blaze gets beaten to the ground.

ZAVOK: Pitiful! Is this all the power that the last Queen of Soleanna can muster!? Without the Sol Gems, you have no chance of victory!

Just then, Sonic pops in and hurls a slash wave at Zavok’s back!

ZAVOK: GRAAAH! What the!?
SONIC: Yo Zavok! Mind if I cut in!?
BLAZE: S…Sonic!?
ZAVOK: You’re that Hedgehog from before!
SONIC: Ah, you remember me! Glad a little “mortal” like me scares the piss out of yah!
ZAVOK: You flatter yourself too much! For a pipsqueak with no credence to his name!
SONIC: Well then let me give you the rundown on what I can do!!

Unfortunately, it won’t be much because Round 2 is yet again an UN…WINNABLE… BOSS FIGHT!! Sonic can at least damage Zavok, but not by very much. Zavok can now block attacks and is only open in very small windows. Not that it matters.

After that asswhoopin, Sonic struggles to even land a blow as Zavok beats him mercilessly!

ZAVOK: It would appear that it is YOU being “run down”! Grahahah!

Zavok then knocks Sonic’s sword away, forcing him to spin attack him, though Zavok just punches him out of it. Charging kinetic energy in hands, Sonic tries to punch Zavok twice, but the demigod catches both of his fists and starts squeezing them tightly!

SONIC: *grunts*
ZAVOK: Weak!

And then he headbutts Sonic to the ground! And then he kicks him into a wall!

ZAVOK: I at least expect something from a member of the royal family! They’ve actually defeated me in the past! I expect more from the Echidna, last of the Guardian Angels! I anticipate true battle from the descendants of Mephilis! But you!? Who are you to me!?

He kicks him again!

ZAVOK: I don’t know you! You don’t even know yourself! A fool who has no sense of history or heritage! No fame! No true victories comparable to that of his own companions!

Sonic gets to his knees, shaking and spitting blood from his mouth, as he glares upon Zavok’s imposing stature!

ZAVOK: No past, no presence… and soon to have no future!! You are nothing more than a blank slate!!! GRAAH!

And he catches Sonic with a left rook, knocking him back to the ground.

BLAZE: Sonic… no!!!
ZAVOK: ………………
MIGHTY: …..You’re wrong, Zavok!

Mighty steps outside, both axes at the ready.

ZAVOK: *smiles* Well, what’s this!? Another fool eager to lose his life!?
BLAZE: Mighty, get away! He’s too strong!
MIGHTY: I hate to admit it, but if there’s one thing I know about Sonic, he’s full of surprises! He’s no one famous, but neither am I!

Ray also appears.

RAY: Same goes for me, bucko!
ZAVOK: Who is this now!?
RAY: We’ve been through a lot, yah know? Fighting fat scientists, evil robots, water gods, and some left over science project… and through each and every one of those trials, when the chips are down, he doesn’t join the chips!
ZAVOK: What the devil does that even mean!?
SONIC: *gets up* Easy!

Sonic struggles to get to his feet.

ZAVOK: What!? Have you not sampled enough of your own blood!?
SONIC: You can talk all the trash you want! That still won’t stop us from taking you out!

Mighty locks both of his axes together, Ray charges up with solar energy, Blaze emits fire from her wrists and back, and Sonic…. out of nowhere, generates 2 sabers composed entirely of Kinetic Energy!

ZAVOK: What the!? How!? Where did those come from!?
SONIC: *chuckles* Yeah, so I’m not famous, or come from a background of awesome guys in the past! All that means is… you don’t know what the hell I can do!! READY GUYS!?
ALL: YEAH!!!

Round 3 is the fun part! Now Sonic has a new action trigger (or just an upgraded one) where he can do multiple hits on one attack. Also, when the other players run into Sonic, they gain a boost in attack and speed (which I call the “runoff” effect). So if you wanna use Blaze for the fight, stick around Sonic so that she can actually damage the guy. That said, Zavok is twice as aggressive as ever before. He only has one new attack at this point, and it’s a Beerus Death Ball Reference. Covers the whole field but isn’t a one hit kill………………. so LONG as you’re Sonic or took on some of his kinetic energy to survive the blast!
Everyone has unlimited gauge during the fight because it’s hard enough with Zavok blocking every attack.

After that fight, everyone is beating Zavok’s ass! Mighty bashing Zavok’s face in with his axe, Blaze clawing at his chest and back before blasting him with explosive embers, and Sonic and Ray hitting him with Solar beams and Blue Stars.
At one point, you got Sonic and Mighty spinning in the air before kicking Zavok in the face.
After a while of beating him all over the place, Sonic spins in place to charge himself with kinetic energy, and then grabs hold of Ray!

SONIC: RAY! FIRE NOW!!!
ZAVOK: WHAT!?
RAY: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

And Ray unleashes…. well… a BIG ASS Solar Beam! Zavok tries his best to hold back the wave, but he struggles. And seemingly, his face melts!

ZAVOK: GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

He’s blown backward off the edge of the island, but he manages to catch the side of it, holding on for dear life!

ZAVOK: DAMNED MORTALS! How can you have so much power in such puny bodies!?
BLAZE: You underestimated us simply because of our size?
MIGHTY: No wonder you got your ass kicked a few times before!
ZAVOK: No! It’s not possible! You only defeated me because of the power of the Sol Gems!
RAY: What’s your excuse now, tough guy!?
SONIC: Those babies are busy trying to power this entire island! You beat you with nothing but hands!
ZAVOK: Dammit all! Fine! I will concede for now, Princess! The battle is yours!
BLAZE: No. You give me too much credit. The real victory…. goes to Sonic.
SONIC: Huh?
ZAVOK: WHat!? You would shame me by crediting him!?
MIGHTY: Yeah, we helped too!
BLAZE: >_>……..

Sonic walks toward the edge, kinetic saber in hand.

ZAVOK: How DARE you approach me so casually! As though you are worthy of my head!
SONIC: I did enough damage, didn’t I?!
ZAVOK: It’s a sham! You shouldn’t have that kind of power! You’re nothing! A nobody! A nameless…. freak!!! WHO ARE YOU!!!!?

Sonic looks to Mighty, Ray, and Blaze in the back… and then turns around smiling.

SONIC: What you see is what you get! Just a guy who loves adventure!

And then he raises his saber, strengthening it tenfold!

SONIC: I’M SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!!! HYAAA!!

And finally slashes Zavok off of the island as he flies into the dimensional walls!

ZAVOK: GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaah……

SONIC: And don’t you forget it!
MIGHTY: Pff… showoff!
SONIC: Eat it, Mighty!

Everyone heads back into the central tower, and Sonic rejoins Amy and Silver in stabilizing the city.

AMY: Are you sure you’re alright, Sonic!?
SONIC: Don’t worry about me! Keep this place from crumbling!
SILVER: You got it!

Jet continues driving…. but seems to be struggling!

ROUGE: Can’t you keep it steady, Jet!?
JET: I’m trying, but Zavok screwed up our balance! It’s hard to maintain control!

The city keeps inching near the dimensional walls!

JET: The wheel is too tight! I can’t turn it!!
TAILS: Jet!?
BLAZE: You have to keep it steady!!!
JET: I…. I can’t!!! It’s too unstable!! We won’t make it!

Just then, Knuckles punches Jet outcold!

ROUGE: WHAT THE!?
KNUCKLES: I’M NOT DYING IN THIS PLACE!!!

Knuckles turns the wheel hard to get away from the D.Walls! But his flying is erratic!

SONIC: Why’d you let Knuckles take the wheel!?
KNUCKLES: SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND KEEP THIS ISLAND STABLE, SONIC!!
SONIC: WHY DON’T YOU KISS MY-
SILVER: SONIC!!!

Knuckles does his best to keep the island from hitting the walls. Everyone becomes terrified of his horrible driving, however. Most notably, Rouge as she jumps on his back!

ROUGE: AAAAHHHHHH! SAVE ME KNUCKLES!!!!

And he quickly shoves her off!

KNUCKLES: GET YOUR BOSOM OFF MY BACK, WOMAN! I’M DRIVING!!

He continues his mad dash toward the portal exit!

TAILS: KNUCKLES! THERE IT IS!! WE CAN ESCAPE THERE!
RAY: FULL SPEED AHEAD!!!
SONIC: BRACE YOURSELVES!!!!
KNUCKLES: GRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!

…………..
………………

*Unknown*

They managed to escape from the warp tunnel… surprisingly unscathed! Everyone inside has a loooooooong sigh of relief!

RAY: Well, I bet this place is going to smell like scat all across the board!
MIGHTY: Thanks for that image, Ray.
RAY: You’re welcome!
SONIC: I am SO GLAD you didn’t kill us, Knux!
KNUCKLES: I find your faith lacking, Sonic!

And then, out of nowhere, Rouge immediately forces Knuckles backward and kisses him!

SONIC: Man, we almost… whoa!!
AMY: Oh dear…
TAILS: Yuck!!
RAY: O_O OoO

And then she immediately backs off of him, both having shocked expressions on their faces.

ROUGE: Oh! Oh dear god! I didn’t… did I!? Oh… oh no…

And then she looks at everyone else.

ROUGE: D-don’t look at me like that! That.. that was just a spur of the moment! That’s all! *nervous laugh*

And she flies away in embarrassment. Knuckles wipes his mouth.

KNUCKLES: O_O Helluva “spur”! *Looks at Ray*
RAY: *gravely voice* I hate you, Knuckles!!!
SILVER: I think we’re all grateful to Knuckles for getting us out of there safely.
SONIC: Lucky bastard….
AMY: Excuse me!?
SONIC: What!? Who wouldn’t envy that!?
AMY: Grrrr!

BLAZE: Well, the good thing is we all survived a perilous journey. We all have a second chance to create a better future for ourselves. And for our future generations.
SILVER: Yes! The world in which we lived may no longer exist… but we can start anew! We can finally build a greater tomorrow!
TAILS: ……..Yeah! We won’t be haunted by the nightmares of the past! We’ll learn from the past so we don’t repeat our mistakes! This is our chance to turn things around!
KNUCKLES: *clears throat* The past may determine who we are today, but not who we will become in the future!
SONIC: Nice try at saving face, Knux!
KNUCKLES: *blushes* BE QUIET, SONIC!!!
AMY: *giggles*
MIGHTY: *sighs* Well, if we’re all done with the fancy speeches, maybe we should go see where we landed?

Jet wakes up.

JET: Alright, which one of you ass(bleep) punched me!?
TAILS: Mrmm… I don’t know!
JET: Don’t lie to me Tails!
TAILS: *smiles* I really don’t know! Honest!
RAY: It could be a jerk who stole my future wife!!!!
JET: Your hands are still attached, Ray.
RAY: I don’t follow.
JET: Good! Where are we?!
TAILS: We don’t know yet. We haven’t gone outside.
JET: Then shall we?

Knuckles proceeds for an exit door when Rouge flies down to him.

KNUCKLES: ..Rouge?
ROUGE: Ahem…. *blushes* just so we’re clear, That… meant… absolutely… NOTHING! Understand?
KNUCKLES: Uhhhhh… of course! I… I think nothing of it! Why it was… merely an expression of gratitude!
ROUGE: Yes exactly! There’s absolutely no reason to pay it any mind at all! Just a random… unintended action brought on by stress of certain death!
KNUCKLES: Indeed! It could just be…. customary of surface dwellers to….. force one’s head back during the embrace!

And Rouge tosses a rock at him!

KNUCKLES: Hey!!!
ROUGE: DO YOU HAVE TO DESCRIBE IT IN DETAIL, YOU IDIOT!?

She walks away, pissed as all hell.

KNUCKLES: What is wrong with her!?

Ray walks by and flips Knuckles off.

KNUCKLES: I don’t understand that gesture.

Sonic, Mighty, and Amy all walk up to the exit door.

SONIC: Even though we have no idea where we are, this is actually kinda exciting!
AMY: No kidding! Who knows where we ended up! Right Mighty?
MIGHTY: ……..

He’s busy looking at Silver and Blaze.

AMY: Mighty?
SONIC: ……..You ok?
MIGHTY: Psh, yeah. We going outside?
AMY: You know, there are other fish in the sea, Mighty!
MIGHTY: Don’t you start, Princess! Sides, she’s got waaaay too much baggage to deal with!
SONIC: And she’s out of your league!
MIGHTY: Kiss my ass, Sonic! You gonna open the door or what!?
SONIC: Alright, alright! *deep breath* Well…. lets see where we are now!

He slowly opens the door…. And we get a fade to white here….

*Apotos Village*

A young “human” girl casually stares out of her window to see Sky Babylon.

GIRL: ……..Mom? There’s a weird island outside of my window!
MOM: How weird are we talking, honey?
GIRL: It’s flying!
MOM: What!?

Several residents start leaving their houses to look at Babylon as it hovers above Windmill Isle. And taking pictures.

END?

After the credits roll…

MESSAGE: Sonic has gained a new Action Trigger! Go to custom settings to set Sonic’s Action Trigger from “Blade” to “Kinetic Sabers”

MESSAGE: Shadow the Hedgehog has been unlocked!

Why is this game awesome, again? (Velocity 2x)

You know when developers are too full of themselves when they decide to put a “making of” documentary in the game.

Velocity 2x, like every other indie game on the market, is probably the most overrated indie game in existence. Or it would be if Shovel Knight/Shantae didn’t exist. It has won a million awards and is praised to the highest of heavens, and I’m here thinking to myself that the masses must be aliens to have the patience to put up with such unintuitive and disorientating controls.
Maybe it’s just the PS4 port, but the control layout is…. beyond retarded, and I would’ve hoped that this was the only flaw of the game, but progressing through the title shows a layer of tedium that the documentary nor the public would ever allow you to know.

To start off, the story is an absolute bore. Kai, a white chick with a Japanese name (go figure) is captured and turned into a cyborg by Aliens called the Vokh. She escapes, however, with the aid of her own personal Wookie, Ralan, they fight against the Vokh and try to escape back to her homeworld. Add in some crummy attempts at humor and you’ve got your typical star wars adventure.

Just like an indie game, the story is just there to serve as an excuse for the gameplay. But hey, the documentary makes sure to note that they were praised because a 7 year old girl got to play as a bad ass female character. Woopty fucking doo! You can tell they’re tickled by that shit. Moving on.

Graphically, yes, the game has pretty colors. It does not change the fact that it looks no better than a mobile game made in flash. Gah, that’s being too harsh, right? I mean the documentary said that the pretty colors “pop and inspire” people, and I’m looking for hows and whys. I’ve honestly seen better from Blazeblue and Persona Arena, so “color” me spoiled. Not only that, but the way the game is set up, you don’t have the luxury of taking in the scenery. I’ll get to why in a moment.

Now lets talk about controls. Certainly… the game starts off simple. Press X to Fire, Square to Teleport, basic shit, right? It’s all well and good…. until you get to the stage where you’re on foot. And immediately, that’s where things start to go wrong. I take issue with games that make it where I have to take my thumbs off the face buttons in order to the control sticks in any other means besides selecting weapons or moving the camera, and this game…. for some ungodly reason, makes it so that you HAVE to use R3 to shoot while on foot! The game takes on the airs of a twin stick shooter for absolutely no reason. So… you’d think jumping controls would be mapped to the shoulders so that you can run, jump, and attack all at the same time, right? No. You literally have to stretch your thumb up and down from the face buttons to the control stick, rinse and repeat. This is not a good control scheme, and the reason they claim to have done this in said documentary was because “they did not want the switch from Quarp to on-foot to be jarring, so we mapped the teleport function to the same button”. Ok, but why make the primary attack so that we have to take our goddamn thumbs off of the face buttons just to use the stick!? It’s bad design.
It gets a little better later on with the plasma rifle since it’s actually mapped to Circle, but it’s made damn near useless since it cannot shoot in more than a straight line, and the hand blaster gets upgraded damage output. It’s just a more convenient attack. Goddamn this is shoddy design.

Believe it or not, but the ship gets this treatment once it can use bombs. Now you can only use the R stick to toss bombs in any direction. So… I can only shoot (IE X Button) in one direction, but then I have to use these slow ass bombs to attack in multiple directions? When it comes to these arcade-style games, you wanna have fast reflexes. Having to swap between face buttons and stick just for another means of attack means you gotta reorient your hands and shit. Good controls are “invisible”, meaning they are seamless and you don’t have to spend a lot of time trying to figure out where they are. This would likely not be an issue if there wasn’t 2 separate styles of play going on here.

The most important ability in this game is to teleport between walls and obstacles, so that was given priority over the means to attack. And the documentary (:P) meant that the controls for teleporting would be kept the same. Cause…. shooting and jumping are 2 different things! It probably would have made sense to map teleports to Circle, and then have shooting be Square while everything else remains the same, that way the ship has no function for jumping, but can shoot and teleport, and on foot, the jumps would be added, but the shooting and warping controls would be kept the same. Or… it the British bastards gave us the option to reconfigure the controls so we wouldn’t have this problem! But eh.

They also didn’t have the foresight to not sabotage movement controls either. See, in a 2D game, I am prone to using to Dpad. And why wouldn’t I? Nothing is more perfect for a 2D arcade game than movement controls that are strictly 2Dimensional. But alas, on foot segments have a “telepod” function that makes the controls more convoluted than they need be. To put it in context, there are levels in which you will have to backtrack between in order to progress. Yes! An arcade game with BACKTRACKING!!! They figured it was a good idea to make you go find these numbered switches that you have to hit in orders from 1-9 in order to open doors or destroy barriers. So there are dozens of stages where the way forward is blocked off by said barriers, and you have 2 branching paths from left to right. So you have to press TRIANGLE… to place a warp pad down, and you have to use the Left shoulders to traverse between them. That doesn’t sound too bad at first. But on-foot, it’s a different story.
Going back to the movement controls, remember that I use the Dpad? Well, on-foot, you have telepods that you can use inside, but their use is a little different. You can either lay one down… or TOSS them into certain areas so you warp there easily. This part is important because there are plenty of stages where hurling a telepod through tiny crevices is important. You have to stand still (hold Triangle) and fucking AIM to where you are trying to throw the telepod. And… you can’t just do this with the Dpad. You have to use the Left Control Stick to aim the telepod. I have… no idea why they would make this a thing. I assume it’s for precise aiming, but you don’t even have precision on that front. Aiming it is often slow and wonky, so you’ll end up making a few bad shots here and there. Yeah yeah I know, “take your time”, and shit. I’ll get to why that argument doesn’t work for this game.

So you have… convoluted controls between 2 different sets of playstyles, and backtracking with telepods. In the documentary mentions that they want players to go at their own pace, and when they’re comfortable enough, they can “challenge themselves” by going for the fastest times. Yeah, no, that is a bald faced lie.
You see, the way you progress through stages isn’t the normal “beat stage, then continue”. The stages are very easy to complete, you have unlimited lives, and enough time to complete them. That’s not the challenge. See, in order to unlock more stages, you have to have a certain number of experience points. And you earn them not merely by completing stages, but setting records. Certain time goals, the amount of pods you collect, crystal shards, and high score. Each of these categories have 3 goal posts that reward 10-40 XP per goal met. So you play one stage and you have 3 categories, you might meet a few goal posts without knowing it… and for me, this hit around stage 40, I had completed a stage and found that I couldn’t play the next one. “What is this shit!?” I said. Turned out I was about….500 xp short. All those speed goals I ignored happened to bite me in the ass.

So… I go back, try for the fastest goals to get those extra 40 points (20 points each goal) just to build it up. And in doing so, I ignored a lot of pods and crystals…. and then THAT bit me on the ass. Turns out if you don’t collect a certain number of pods AND crystals, you fail the stage by default. So… you have to collect as many pods and crystals as you can…. AND… you have to meet these time goals…. in order to progress.

Even though the documentary says you can play these stages at your own pace. And if you are COMFORTABLE…. you can challenge yourself. The game itself…. REQUIRES…. that you meet time goals without regard for your own pace. Now, you combine this with how messy the control layout is and how the game requires you to backtrack through levels… well…. it’s damned tedious, isn’t it? Repetitive too.

On the outside, the game looks fun. Its extremely fast paced, colorful, has all these explosions, and makes one believe its a full on action game. But instead, its a pain i n the ass for all the wrong reasons. Its more “fetch quest” and puzzle oriented where you find yourself having to collect enough pods and crystals to complete a stage, and then running back and forth to shoot numbered switches in the correct order, all the while you have these disorienting controls between 2 gameplay styles (again probably a result of the moron who mapped the controls on ps4) and a progression system tied to how fast you complete stages.

How the hell did this game win Oscars?

The thing that boggles my mind is the lengths people will go to praise an indie game when in all truth, the game in question has some iffy design choices. And all the while, the making of documentary is there to placate people into believing the game is better than it is. You got a guy in this doc that literally says that (he believes) Velocity 2x is the greatest shooter ever created. LITERALLY!!! So already, the game is practically selling itself! I feel there was more time spent trying to convince one of the game’s greatness rather making a really great game. And that is one of the main reasons the industry itself is trash. If indies have to be the ones to “save videogames”, taking on one of their worst traits is not what you want to do. Velocity 2x is not well designed in the slightest, stop pretending that it is.