Ignoring the figure skating Sonic.

Ignoring the faaar too obvious Mario comparisons.

Ignoring the bland ass boss music.

And just look at what this whole trailer is doing.

 

……….

…………

Don’t know yet?

This trailer is basically spoiling the whole fucking game.

That’s all these trailers have been doing. Too much information has been revealed about the game that with this one, we know….

1. What level order you will progress,

2. What bosses you will fight in this order

3. And literally how the boss battles themselves play out. You fight a moon that hurls stars out, then you fight Zazz one on one. Zomom just ground pounds and spins, etc. etc.

What they’re saying is that this game’s content is not worth keeping secretive.  What do we have to look forward to when everyone can just smell what the game will be like by the time October rolls around? Everything you could just guess about the game’s flow has been laid out for you to see. No sense of mystery, no sense of curiosity. Why, the nerds are starved for information so lets just lay out all the info out for them to see! We have 6 bosses, a shitty coop mode, a recycled multiplayer mode from Colors, shitty ass wisp powers, several on-rails stages, etc.!

One of the problems I had with Brawl was that a good majority of the content was spoiled before the game was released thanks to Smash Bros. Dojo. Details about items, character moves and properties, stages, etc. were all give to us. Melee didn’t have this much exposure, and hell, Shadow the Hedgehog and Sonic Heroes didn’t either.

What Nintendo and Sega failed to do was the marketing technique of “Show, don’t tell“. Like women, you have to leave something for the imagination. A sense of wonder and amazement. You’ve stripped that from your own audience by revealing too much of the game’s features.

The plot twist was put out there before the game came out. Why? Because Weber and the game wanted to appease starved nerds with “clarity” of the Japanese scene.

But the worst part is that many of the trailers are about “gameplay” and not spectacle. You should never advertise the gameplay. Not in the sense of not showing game footage, but showing more than the “cool shit”. I don’t want to see how to perform the cool shit IE the wisp powers being utilized by the touch screen with a pop up tutorial. Just show it destroying enemies.

No one had the vaguest clue of how this game would flow until it released. We were shown bits and pieces of the game, not have it on full display. We were not shown “how” the moves and techniques like Chaos Blast were done, or told outright that you needed to do bad things just to activate it. They just showed it in action. You were not shown how to defeat Black Bull in the video, just it’s attacks to show how menacing it is.

They only gave you a snack. Not the whole kitchen.

You wouldn’t believe how many people thought the game looked like this.

Lost Mind? Fuck all that, lets just show you how it’s dooone! That is the most idiotic trailer for a video game I’ve ever seen. Even Sonic Riders was more conservative than this.

You feel the effects of not being shown the game rules? How it’s played and what not? It leaves you visualizing just how good it might be. Only a few tidbits. Not like these shitty Sonic trailers where they show you levels individually and not out of context. You notice how Unleashed, Colors, and Generations felt underwhelming even before they released? But Sonic 4 Episode 2 was hype worthy? Apparently, when Sega honestly didn’t give a fuck, they made better trailers, but when they’re all about dat “gameplay”, they show off their bullshit intricacy. And Ninty and Sega just went and spouted everything this game has to offer, as well as the damn bonus edition. They had a trailer for every mother fucking feature this shit has. There’s no greater misery than being constantly reminded of just how bad this game is going to be by giving everyone news that gets worse and worse and worse.

It’s trailers like this that show the developers have no concept of what an “experience” is. Sony understood that with FF7 by giving you a snack. Did you want to experience something that a movie couldn’t provide you? Buy the fucking Playstation and get in on the action. Sega? Stay off the internet if you don’t want the experience ruined.

“WTF!? Transforming animals!? Therapy sessions involving the beast within?! I have GOT to see what this is all about!”

Um… that’s how the game plays? EWW!

I’m sure the nintards are foaming at the mouth with some nutless excuses like “YOU’RE COMPARING 2 DIFFERENT GENRES!!!!” or some piss ass shit like that. You’re not shown gameplay. You’re shown the cool shit. Something that grabs you by the conkers and makes you shout “I HAVE GOT TO GET ME ONE OF THESE!”

Lost Mind, for all intents and purposes, will be a flop, but Sega can’t even convince anyone to rush out for a copy. These trailers have done nothing to grab anyone’s attention. It’s all about the trite ass gameplay. That only comes after the hook. There is no hook for this game. Nothing reels you in.

And then this shit. Just tell us how the game flows. This is the most oddball decision yet from Sega. Why show a trailer about the boss battles? In previous Sonic games, trailers only featured very brief glimpses of the bosses, leaving the rest to the imagination. Here, it’s fetishized nonsense. I mean, did we really need to see how far Nintendo slipped their cock through your ass? It’s embarrassing enough to call one’s self a Sonic fan without being trolled by Nintards about how Nintendo “won”, now you pour salt on an open wound by literally having a Sonic game that fetishes elements of Super Mario games. As if we didn’t have enough of Nintendo’s vanity in Super Smash Bros., Metal Gear Solid Twin Snakes, Nintendo Land, Pikmin 3, and Tekken Tag Tournament 2, now you literally destroy the very foundation of what made Sonic stand out. You don’t see Bayonetta dressing up like Peach anytime soon (hopefully), but with the way Kamiya is lovin Iwata’s dick, that might be the case.

😦 ………..I miss Bloody Roar…. I miss Hudson….

*goes into a corner to cry*

I don’t know when or why developers started making “gameplay trailers”, but it’s ruining my optimism for future video games in this industry.