Tag Archive: pokemon XY

The map designers went to spec savers?

For a while, I’ve been considering getting a 3DS for Pokemon XY. Funds are good, there’s a cheaper model or coming out, and I’ve been wanting that Shinobi title as well. But quite frankly, I have no motivation to play anymore Pokemon games. Black and White are going to be my final entries.

The game boasts a lot about it’s features including 3D battles which aren’t even new, trainer customization which isn’t enough to justify a purchase (though still nifty), the stupid “horde battle” system where you fight 5 pokemon at once makes no sense and seems like an arbitrarily desperate addition, Fairy types don’t sound appealing in the slightest and they don’t make any real sense in themselves, having battles that are limited to certain pokemon based on terrain (though realistic) is unneeded (sky battles), etc. None of these features really seek to make the game much more exciting but further bloat the game to convince people of how new it is. When I hear there’s a new feature that catered to easier EV training, my interest dropped completely. The games are still successful (maybe not as much as before), but it feels like a key ingredient is missing. These new Pokemon games seem to be obsessed with features that don’t really do a damn thing for you.

I remember when Gold and Silver first came out and a lot of the adverts were going on about “a new world to explore”. All this stuff about “Do the Johto!” and what not. The fact that you had a new region to explore was considered a feature in itself amongst having new pokemon to catch and train. And I think that’s one of the reasons Pokemon keeps selling.

People in general have an inherent desire to travel and explore the world. No one likes being couped up in one area of their lives for a long time (which was why being stuck in level 2 made us crazy back then). You want to get out more, you want to see new places, new people, and just have some grand adventure in a massive world. And Pokemon just taps into that desire. It felt like you really were a part of the game world in a sense. Along with capturing and training Pokemon, you might just run into a random stranger’s house or some small town, each with it’s own history, mythos, or what may have you. It was different from other RPGs in that you were just expected to run around and try to save the world (which, unfortunately, is what Pokemon turned into nowadays), so having NPCs that talked about shit you didn’t care about felt natural and… idk, “organic”. Each place you visited also had personality. If you went to Celadon City and then to Vermillion City, the atmosphere is completely different from each other. People have different values and outlooks on life much like in the real world. Just because you found one cave in one part of the region didn’t mean the next cave you go into will have the exact same atmosphere (most of the time). You know? Pokemon was like a book without pages, you really did go places.

Even the Gym Leaders had personality. They were treated like human beings instead of just random NPC code. Some would be out “doing something” like random dates or just out crying about their problems before heading into a match against you.

After Ruby and Sapphire, Pokemon Worlds feel more artificial than need be. One big animu clusterfuck about the power of friendship and “prepubescent kids save the world from big evil criminal organization that wants to rule the world”. The worlds themselves have less of a priority and take a back seat to a long a tedious narrative about the evils of the big bad group of evil doers. The worlds get much smaller and less complex (BW map is a giant ass circle for pete’s sake) further adding to it’s artificiality, and the NPCs now go on and on about the game’s features. The C-gear which I doubt anyone bothered to use is king of gospel in Unova. And I swear if I had to hear anymore about that global terminal and the need to save my game every once in a while. Hell, I’d take those “top percentage of Rattata” phone calls over those that go giddy over the ability to trade pokemon over the internet.

The problem I find is that Pokemon World’s are dependent on the evil teams to compel you to move forward. The towns and sub dungeons no longer carry a nigh realistic presentation of how real world towns and people are, they’re just locations on a map that you have to visit to complete a quest. All just so you can defeat this evil time. The games no longer feel like adventures as a result.

So the most advertised features are no longer about new worlds (or hell, even new pokemon) but silly features that they think enhances the gameplay. I don’t feel that people ever get excited about “new features” in video games outside of characters, their abilities, and the worlds you get to explore. Personally speaking, Poke-amie or w/e sounds like shoving Nintendogs features into the game. And the fairy type is the most uncool typing ever introduced. At least Dark and Steel had a bit of edge to them. At worst, these features feel as though they were added to show off hardware capabilities than actually adding something to the game (Horde/Sky battles). As a result, the game world suffers (its like they recycled BW’s map and added another circle in X and Y) and becomes smaller and recycled from previous games.

Trip part is this decay in game world design also creped into Zelda games. Link Between Worlds feels more artificial as the game outright tells you that you need specific items in order to enter dungeons and cannot be accessed until you have purchased an item. Playing Skyward Sword, I can safely say that its the most mechanical Zelda game of all time (the game even admits to this via Goddess Hylia “planning everything for you”). So it seems to be an inherent problem at Nintendo in which the game worlds are no longer important to them. For Pokemon, it’s a sad ass case.

There’s no real excitement anymore. Pokemon games are now just going through the motions of choosing your first asset and going through to predetermined towns and routes just to fight the evil teams. All with pointless features you will never use.


Version exclusive evolutions.

You know, back in RBY and GSC, having version exclusive pokemon? Ok, whatever. We could get all the important legendaries in one game.

Then RSE came out with version exclusive evil teams and legendaries. Ooooook. W/e. Then you have version exclusive gym leaders and cities for BW and version exclusive forms for BW2. Now it’s getting a bit ridiculous.

Now you want people to buy 2 different versions to get 2 different evolutions from the same pokemon that you can get in BOTH games!?

Well thanks for giving me a reason to break the habit of wanting to be the very best like no one ever was! If it wasn’t those ball crushing honey trees, it’s this shit.

I’ve had a problem with Gamefreaks forced innovashun of how you obtain different pokemon for years after RSE’s “brialle” shit. Trade evolutions were always stupid, but now it’s either that, or buy both games just to get 2 evolutionary lines. Where does the bullshit end? Pokemon isn’t exactly starved for money as its stability has yet to wane, yet Gamefreak cannot help themselves in their desperate bid to try and justify why there are 2 versions of the same game. It used to be because of the whole Link cable business of trading between “friends” or some other gay shit they thought children could get into. But now, they’re trying to justify why you should buy both versions anyway just to get the “full experience”, and then sell a “complete edition” that STILL has some content that’s cut out (cut pokemon). And then they pull that BW2 bullshit where they could continue the cunt fucking of version exclusive forms.

But that’s what GTS is for!

Fuck the GTS.

The novelty of trading pokemon died back with GSC when the concept felt more forced than usual if you were pressed about completing that dex. It’s illogical to make fucking evolutions version exclusive now. Trading is now work for nerds to complete a dex. Or torture for those who had to make the decision between one version over the other due to what favorites he’s tied with.

Keep on justifying Action Replay, GF. That is unless Nintendo fucks that up too. …….Oh wait, they did! Pokemon is dead to me.


Talonflame. Officially the most bad ass looking bird ever.

I wonder how much 3DS goes for used….

Well, coming off my last post, everyone should know that Pokemon Gen 6 is coming. And once again, we already have people complaining that they won’t change the battle system in any way that people would give a damn about. That’s accurate, though. Nintendo isn’t known to go outside of formula’s they’re all to comfortable with (look at Zelda) unless of course they hand the series off to a 3rd party dev so they can run it into the ground (StarFox). If anything, Pokemon “plays it safe” mainly because it’s the only Nintendo series that can get away with stagnancy without so much as a whimper. Of course, adding more than 4 moves to a Pokemon’s move set isn’t asking for much, is it? (Unless it’s a memory issue, since they use that space up for the AMAZING 3D gwaphics).

Of course, according to the game’s rabid fanbase, yes, that is too much. Adding 2 or more extra moves to a Pokemon’s move set is “unbalanced”.

This is bullshit. I don’t think pokemon fans give a damn about “balance”. Infact, I don’t think any gamer cares about balance. If that was the case, we wouldn’t still be playing Pokemon games. Fuck, why do people love Street Fighter and Marvel vs Capcom games? Or Soul Calibur. Some of the most broken games in the history of mankind are incredibly popular. No one can deny that Brawl was the main reason to own  Wii, and we all bought Gamecubes to play Melee. Smash games are hideously broken, but they are a lot of fun.

So why not give Pokemon more than 4 moves?

There are quite a large portion of fans that are sick and tired of being limited to using only 4 moves. And dammit, they’re justified. It’s been 5 generations of pokemon games over the course of at least 16 years now. 16 years and the battle system has YET to move beyond 4 moves. It’s essentially doing the guilty gear thing where they just give out minor fixes to the battle system without innovating and actually making it fresh. The only reason we bought one pokemon games in the past was because the new pokemon looked bad ass. Gen 2 was the only real game in the series that gave us something fresh. It was just a sequel with new moves, new pokemon, new world, new genders and breeding system, egg hatching, everything. After that, now the games felt like a formula where they introduce features that hardly anyone gives a fuck about. In order to get the best out of these features, you have to treat pokemon like homework, meaning a certain few hours of research, note keeping, and time keeping?

Gen 2 is easily forgiven because Pokemon was still young. We didn’t care about a change in the battle system because “NEW POKEMON WE SAW ONLY IN MOVIES HOLY SHIT!”. Now it’s like “Oh… Pokemon contests… ok”. Gen 2 was considered special because for a long time, the only exposure we had were from the main games. The movies we went to see had pokemon we could never get. It made them “unique” because the advertisements were so subtle. We never got the new games before the first 2 movies. Then we got the games, we couldn’t be any more happy for all the new pokemon! Now… it’s nothing special anymore. We expect new pokemon and we expect a 3rd version, or sequel versions now. We expect new pokemon. We expect a new region. We expect new moves. We expect new minigames that no one plays. Pokemon is a mere formula now that only seems to be there to bring in profits when Nintendo botches up their business strategy. And if they somehow fuck up Pokemon? That’s it for Nintendo, they’ve got no cards left.

The developers seem more interested in adding bloat to the Pokemon instead of actually taking some time to reinvent the combat system. And none of these pointless “rotation battles” like anyone is going to spend time stalling to see which pokemon to use first, and then next. THAT’S NOT WHAT  WANT! Give us a battle system that actually feels new and not some slower, more bloated version of the old battle system that’s more or less a minigame in itself! Nintendo sees fit to recreate the gameplay of Mario, Zelda, and Metroid but for some reason, Pokemon just can’t be improved. All they seem focused with is 3D overworld gimmicks that contributes jack shit to the overall experience. Give me some MORE MEAT to the gameplay already.

Whatever made Pokemon popular stays back in 1998. Today, the series is just there to make sure Nintendo doesn’t go in the red. The main gameplay that people care about has not changed, and gets off scott free because Nintendo knows Disney’s marketing strategies. We all remember BW’s hype about a completely new experience… and it felt that way. And everything came off like shit. And now we’re rushed forward to a new generation while Gen 5 has nothing to show for it besides fixing up issues found in Gen 3 and 4. Overall, the games are now just about the graphics, while the main battle system stagnates. And why? Because the music guy behind the series is now comparing it to basketball. Why do Nintendo developers resort to petty excuses to be lazy? I don’t want flashy, cramped overworlds if all I’m gonna do is walk around and interact with certain “neat gimmicks” one time and then move the fuck on. That’s not exciting at all.  And how many times are they going to advertise their ability to utilize the internet for trading and battling people world wide? Yes Nintendo, you finally know how to use the internet. Lets give them a gold star and say “about time” even though it’s still shit.

“Don’t fix what isn’t broken!”

Pokemon is already broken if you care so much about balance. It’s not broken in the business sense (it will make money, regardless if it’s old and stagnant), but for the mother fucking 3DS that couldn’t sell Ocarina of time to a satisfactory goal, something’s got to give. There needs to be something really attractive for this package because the 3DS (no matter how much the fanboys try to deny it) is not doing it for Nintendo. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be getting Gen 6 this early. And exclusive for the 3DS.

Pokemon fans can get a little psychotic when it comes to the series, though. There are massive debates over whether or not the series should change up it’s formula. First off, a game shouldn’t be stuck in a “formula” in the first place. Or they should at least obscure it by not making your goals incredibly obvious. For one, Gen 1 didn’t restrict you to an area until you completed a gym 100% of the time. After Misty, you had a little bit of freedom to roam about the pokemon world. Starting with Gen 2, the games made gym battles more of a requirement to progress, and it’s just obnoxious in Gen 5. What about a pokemon game where gym battles were an option? A main game whom’s completion did not require the pokemon league in some way, shape or form? And I know BW had this, but you still had to go through the E4 just to get the ending.

And most of all, an “endgame” that actually MEANS SOMETHING! You gave us 2 regions in Gen 2 (and HGSS), why the fuck can’t we get more than that nowadays? Cut out some of that “show off” 3D bullshit so you can have more space on those small ass chips and give us… another fucking region. Do you know how exciting that shit was back then? That’s why everyone bitches about having a shitty endgame (until 3rd version is released to easily pacify the mother fuckers until next time, as if battle towers under new names and handicaps were anything exciting.)

There’s nothing wrong with changing things up at least once in a while. Is it necessary? No. Would stagnation kill the franchise? No. Would it be mother fucking awesome? YES! The Pokemon brand has proven to be substantial in making money. Nothing they do will change that. That said, changing the formula would not hurt a damn thing. Reinventing the battle system would not hurt a damn thing. Giving us a decent overworld that doesn’t bullshit us with “our construction won’t be finished until you earn a gym badge” would not hurt a damn thing. It’s not inherently set in stone that reinventing a gameplay system hurts the games.  For all the shit Zelda 2 gets, the game actually did decently and was highly sought after back then. Reinventing gameplay did not kill shit until Aonuma got into the series. It didn’t kill Phantasy Star. Infact, Phantasy Star wouldn’t be on anyone’s list of awesome games if Sega didn’t change a damn thing. How many people even bother to talk about the 1st 4 games anymore?

If Gen 6 does all that, then I have a reason to buy… the mother fucking 3DS. That and the DOA game because fuck you, I like titties. And how about a Castlevania game that isn’t based off that piece of shit Lords of Shallow?

I didn’t think your starters could look any more atrocious than Gen 4’s.

/\ Clicky!
Isn’t it a little early for Gen 6? Gen 5 has loads of untapped potential and an incredibly pointless sequel with crappier character designs and no real pokemon additions besides 2 shitty forms and a shallower storyline.

Something tells me the 3DS is doing poorly if they’re rushing out a new generation series of Pokemon games, especially considering the version names are no longer based on color schemes and on something generic like… “letters”. X and Y? WOW! Well, it’s better than “Diamond and Pearl” But we couldn’t get an Amber, Jade, Cobalt or Crimson scheme? I couldn’t care less about reused colors under different names, that’s what made the series unique before being co-opted by Inafune, Hudson, etc. But apparently the letters refer to the shapes of legendaries.

They look…

…like shit.

Gen 4 and 5 had a LOT of time to work on their newer generations before the deadlines come, this is faaar too soon at this point, especially seeing as the 3DS is probably a bitch to design for.

And to top it all off, the new region is based off of France. No wonder these designs reek of gay.

The 3DS is probably getting it’s ass kicked if they’re rushing the fucking pokemon games. That is practically Nintendo’s last bastion of dignity left. They had BETTER not fuck this up.