Tag Archive: Pii U


Not too uncomfortable to hold, but still sucks design wise.

I’ve recently bought the 2DS. …..Hey, it was on sale, and I didn’t want to wait any longer to get Shinobi. I have to say, I really hate how the thing feels to hold. It doesn’t feel like I can break the thing as I previously thought, but the shoulder buttons feel so awkwardly positioned. It’s like they put them at the very corners of the device. Not to mention it’s pretty fuckin wide. There’s no chance of it being a “portable” device. I also hate the “3D Pad”. It feels like a more comfortable PSP nub, for sure, but it also feels fragile as all hell. Like I can easily break it after a few hours of playing. Plus…. the Dpad. I sincerely hope the majority of games on this console won’t be 2D AND require the L button, because I can’t imagine having to strain my finger trying to press the damn thing. The positioning of the Dpad is so fucked up, man.

It’s like this thing was designed to piss me off! I feel like this is Nintendo literally saying “fuck you for not worshipping 3D!”. The thing constantly prompts me saying I can take 3D pictures but the thing 2DS can’t use 3D (like it really fucking matters). I’ll say one thing though, that AR reader is some neat shit. Pain in the ass to use, you can’t bend a damn card or else it can’t read it… period. Not even a slight “hump” bend. And the battery is shit!

Nintendo… Nintendo… Nintendo, I…. honestly, it’s not bad if you’re a 3D whore, but it really feels strange to hold if you want to use the Dpad. At least Phantasy Star Zero is easier to play :P. Overall, I can’t help but feel this thing was intentionally designed horribly. The battery life issue was not rectified, the crappy shoulder buttons, and you better have some fat ass pockets or even a purse. It’s… impractical.

This is a problem Nintendo has had since the dawn of the N64. The creation of controllers that have no practicality in regards to basic input.

Feels unnatural to hold a controller from the center. And the stick hurts like hell.

Don’t even think about fighting games on this bitch.

I wish playing Metroid Prime didn’t give me arthritis!

I think the biggest problem is that Nintendo only designs controllers to suit the games THEY wish to make, and makes nothing dynamic enough to fit all kinds of genres, and it really pisses me off when I try to play Primal Fury and after being used to the Dpad, I feel like shit trying to use these busted ass sticks. Cause the Dpad is in a crappy place. So I have to use some kind of Wii-to-Gamecube adapters to try and play this bitch, but the inputs have too much delay now! It’s either GCN or bust! And unfortunately there is no future for the series for me to care about better controls.

Other situations is playing the Conduit 2 on Wii, and I still firmly believe that this is probably the best way to play first person shooters…. until you realize you need to aim well, and doing that requires you put a lot of strain on your wrist. See, the Wiimote isn’t at all designed to be held like a gun, so what happens is that you bend your wrist further downward just to point at the screen, and holding your wrist in that position for long hours is going to fuck you up big time. Logically, you’d find a light gun attachment, but the dipshits at Sega or high voltage w/e the fuck you wanna call em, have controls mapped all over the Wiimote’s face. A button to Jump, Plus to ASE, just a whole lotta shit you’d have to reconfigure just so you won’t kill your wrist. Or position your body Yoga style so as to avoid strain anyway.

Lucky Bastard

Guess I’ll have to use Twin Sticks again…

Just using the 2DS (Maybe I’ll call it Bread Slice for the sake of having a good acronym) feels like the games designed for it won’t feel comfortable. Nintendo is not designing controllers to be dynamic. If not for the Wii having attachable controllers, it would be completely flawed.

Nintendo simply doesn’t think about these factors anymore. If you want 3rd parties, you need to design a console to be accommodating to their games as well as your own. You can’t design a console’s controller to simply show off hardware features and capabilities, and I am most certain Nintendo thinks of nothing else but showing off games that can “only be done with their controllers”. Is that why they’re so half-assed these days? I’m surprised the fucking classic controller exists!

Might as well be the Sega Pico

As you may well know, Nintendo has announced that they… now will be developing games specifically designed to show what games can only be done with the Pii U in order to show it’s value to customers. As many have already expressed, this is probably the dumbest idea they can think of. As one person put it…

Nintendo still trying to salvage the controller’s reputation rather than making quality software.

They aren’t thinking about the big picture here, they can’t seem to see beyond their own game design, and it’s been hurting their titles since the N64. And it’s going to be get much worse as showing off the functions of the Gamepad will inevitably mean showing off the touch screen… which is archaic at this point. Again, the company has had years to prove it’s viability, and they failed in that department. To give you a run down of just how horrible touch screen gaming is, consider the following.

Metroid Prime Hunters. An FPS on a handheld device is a bad idea for good reason. Visual awareness is borked on a tiny ass screen. But aside from that, FPS controls have evolved from Doom 2 where you now have the ability to look up and side step. These additions alone made FPS’s more complicated to play and kinda mandated the need of 2 different control sticks. Metroid Prime Hunters had no business showing up on a handheld in the first place. But ATI or whoever figured they could use the touch screen to substitute for the lack of analogs in that you use the stylus to look around and aim, while using the Dpad to move/sidestep and the L button to fire. It sounds bad in theory, and plays like ass in practice. It is dreadfully uncomfortable to play, and the need to use the same screen to select weapons, missiles, and morph ball would require you look away from the top screen and peek at the bottom to see what you can choose. Because you can’t “feel” any of the different options on a touch screen. You need to be aware of where your functions are at all times. This is why Iphone games can get away with this touch bullshit and Nintendo cannot. Eye contact with the screen needs to be maintained, but having to focus between 2 screens for options and combat is a pain in the ass. And even aiming is much worse in this game.

Did I mention this shit cramps!? The DS(lite) is simply too small to have games like this on it, and you’re playing one-handed with the stylus in the other, so you’re using more muscle and energy to hold and balance the DS in the air (because fuck playing this game on a table). It doesn’t take long for the position to start being incredibly uncomfortable. Imagine playing MPH on that big ass Gamepad one-handed.

But hey! What about IPADS!?

How many Ipads have buttons you need to press in tandem with touch screen controls on their games?

Nothing says “trying too hard” like Eiji Aonuma’s design team. In their misguided half-assed quest to prove the viability of the DS’s touch controls, they’ve revoked you the ability to use buttons. Instead, you have to use the stylus for everything. Just to make Link follow a fairy, scratching the screen to simply attack, use weapons yadda yadda. Who’s bright idea was it to make it so you couldn’t move without pointing to something on the screen? Not only does it make it difficult to move around obstacles and enemies, it also means you have to be very  precise so as to not accidentally swipe the screen too fast or else you’d make Link attack. Why should you care? Well, lets say there’s this temple you have to run through a million times… and there’s these Knights that are not to be fucked with. If you waste any time stopping, they will catch your ass and you will be very sad.

Even beyond the realistically limited controls, most of your time will be spent sailing by drawing lines and using tedious touch controls to contend with enemies and redraw your routes just to turn the hell around. For all of Wind Waker’s faults, it didn’t have busted ass controls in how you get to sail the crappy seas. Having to draw a line, watch as the ship moves, stop, redraw a line, and wait for this slow ass boat to turn around is impractical, especially if you’re trying to avoid being hit by enemy attacks or being invaded. Why? Because the idiots were on a mission to prove the viability of the touch screen, and instead made a game that is more uncomfortable to play than usual.

Best of E3 my ass

Castlevania Dawn of Sorrow. A game that could’ve been good. Could’ve surpassed AOS in many ways…. but fucked up completely. Not because of the touch screen, mind you (though it is involved), but they essentially made the same game, only with more grinding and worse boss fights. How so?

This damned thing here!

When you kill a boss I mean reduced to the very pit of death, you have a little minigame here. See that damn circle? Guess what? When you kill the first boss, you have to draw a V. Right? Right. See, you need to draw a near perfect V. If you fuck the V up, the boss regains health and you gotta fight him all over again, and then try to draw the same V. This is their “Magic Seal” system.

Some of these bosses don’t fuck around. Most of all that puppet master that could kill you in one hit. You are going to be seriously tired after dealing with just a few bosses, and your resources will probably be depleted (health potions, MP recharges), but you will be doomed if you do not draw these symbols perfectly, and they become way too complicated as you progress through the game. So the harder the bosses, the more likely you will want to be done with them. But the Magic Circle system is the biggest fuck you in Castlevania history. If you screw up just one inch of a perfect line, you have to keep fighting these bosses over and over again until you get it right. It’s made worse by the fact that you have to quickly get out your stylus and draw the symbol as fast as possible. If you fail, put it away quickly and re-orientate your thumbs to fight some more.

These are all absolutely moronic control schemes and gimmicks that have done more harm than they ever have done good. After a while, developers stopped trying to make the touch screen work and went back to making normal games. Touch screen controls simply are not practical.

I dread what kind of shit Nintendo is concocting because based off these experiences, I know for a fact that they will make very horrid control schemes in some vain attempt to “prove it’s worth”. They’re a lost cause.

Again, how does a video game benefit you? By entertaining you. How does the game entertain you? By being “fun” first and foremost. The shit I described is not fun. Why? The controls are not practical for playing a game. If the controls are not comfortable or practical, they create an artificial barrier to entry. People can’t enjoy a game if they don’t like to “play” it.

When the Wii was first announced with that controller, everyone was dumbfounded. We imagined how it would be feasible trying to use a tv remote to play any game on the Wii, especially that of Super Smash Bros. It wasn’t until after the attachments were revealed that people stopped worrying to death. You remember the PS3’s boomerang?

Doesn’t at all look comfortable to hold.

Sony changes the design back to the Dual Shock models almost immediately. Why can’t Nintendo do some sort of recall back to the drawing board?

As much as we’d like to believe so, they’re not idiots. Most hardware revisions, they take consideration into improving their devices in every area. 2DS still has terrible battery life. They don’t give a fuck. Nintendo has forgone the ideals of benefitting their customers, and their announcement of making games to prove the capabilities of the gamepad is pure proof of it. Doesn’t matter if the controls won’t be practical, Nintendo doesn’t care about practical controls. It’s the number one most frustrating thing about this company when they’re not jerking you over with USB ports you can’t use over some shit about “piracy” even though people can easily pirate the Wii with SD Cards anyway.

So uh… are the AR cards useful for anything else besides little virtual… figurine thingies?

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Microsoft selling Kinect-less xbones.

Well, they’re definitely throwing us some bones now. It’s ironic that after all the anti-consumer remarks about how people “don’t like not diggin Xbone” could fuck right off, they’re actually taking…. baby steps in a direction to please their audiences. Even then, their real feelings haven’t changed.

To be clear, as we introduce this new Xbox One console option, Kinect remains an important part of our vision,” said Spencer. “Many of you are using Kinect for Xbox One every day. In fact, more than 80 percent of you are actively using Kinect, with an average of 120 voice commands per month on each console.

It’s amazing how manufacturers are trying their best to blow off any supposed assumptions about their “new direction”. Nintendo with the 2DS saying “We still want to make your eyes bleed”. Even then, they’re showing that they are willing to compromise if it meant breaking that bread.

Nintendo, on the other hand, is going on the path of wasting money on software to “show the value of a touch screen”. If they failed to show it with the DS beyond menu navigation, trying to force the innovation in damn near every genre isn’t going to cut it. Has the touch screen been useful for any game beyond mobile crap and RPGs?

Why does 2DS exist again?

Iwata also briefly touched upon the Wii U GamePad—the problem to which Nintendo have yet to figure out a solution. The GamePad is part of what makes the Wii U as expensive as it is, but with few games that make really good use of it, it isn’t enough of a selling point for consumers.

Addressing the issue of the GamePad’s appeal, Iwata stated: “At the Corporate Management Policy Briefing this January, I explained that the company would prioritize making and proposing Wii U software titles that can only be made possible with the Wii U GamePad

Any time I read anything about Nintendo, I keep asking “Why”? Why do they continue to make devices that aren’t fully utilized or supported for the long haul? Why do they continue to make games using specific peripheral functions that no one wants to use? Why even bother trying to utilize the Gamepad when people don’t like it?

A better question is why does the 2DS exist at all? The 2DS was made as a cheaper alternative for anyone who didn’t want to be pigeon held by the costly 3D that they were never going to use. This was an attempt to make the device affordable. With 3DS sales declining year by year, this was the best way to go. Something that benefitted customers.

Why the fuck are you bothering to make software with the intent of showing off hardware value!? Are you out of your goddamn minds!? People want games to be FUN! Chaining the games to a specific peripheral with Amma knows what bullshit you can cram into it is not fun. Nintendo isn’t looking to benefit customers with the Pii U, and it shows. They’re going to make the games in order to get investors off their backs. A smarter alternative would be making a Pii U without the gamepad unless they would be taking huge losses from doing so. If that’s the case, Nntendo roped themselves into a corner and have no choice but to continue bullshitting people until their Nintard copout “money reserves” bleed dry.

Consumers don’t care about whether a game takes advantage of the hardware. If Nintendo hasn’t learned this in the last 30 years of being in business, I don’t know what the hell will. Going into the Pii U has been a mistake from the start. No one knew what was going on with this console. Most thought it was just an add-on. If the public was confused about Pii U, there was no hope for it to ever gain momentum. “What the hell is it” is a red flag. This misguided quest for innovation has got to stop.

Perhaps Iwata needs to be fired. I can’t see how a CEO could go this far without realizing how stupid these plans are.

Something called “Hover” for 8th gen consoles. Looked neat.

F-ing Roffle

Following weaker-than-expected sales of their Wii U console and weaker-than-expected sales of the Nintendo 3DS in western markets, Nintendo have reduced their financial targets for the ongoing fiscal year, which is set to end on March 31st, 2014.

As a result, Nintendo have reduced their expected net income of 55 billion yen to a net loss of 25 billion yen. Meanwhile, instead of posting an operating profit of 100 billion yen, the company expects to post an operating loss of 35 billion yen. Nintendo president Satoru Iwata says the company will discuss its short-term and mid-term strategy at its next financial results meeting on January 30th

Honestly, investors, tell them to slash the Pii U altogether. The system was doomed from the start.

The controller, HD direction and the outrageous price all have alienated potential customers, but the games killed any chance of gaining momentum. By now, the spell of the “Mario” brand label has worn off, not even the main Mario game they hyped up is winning any fans over.

Wind Breaker HD was a stupid idea, and Pikmin 3 continues the trend of lame ass RTS’s for babies. If NSMBU couldn’t sell people on the Pii U, Mario Kart and Smash Bros. are destined to fail. Nintendo’s money men know it all too well the project is doomed. The only people on the face of this Earth that cannot (or refuse to) see this are the internet people. Those in the real world don’t even consider the Pii U as a relevant device. It is invisible to everyone.

Nintendo’s franchises have become so awful outside of Pokemon. There isn’t a franchise in their arsenal that can beckon any legion  worth the air they breathe. Mario? Only the intricate 3D atrocities they can find. Zelda? It’s dead to everyone as long as Aonuma is in charge (and I don’t have faith in Hyrule Warriors to be quite honest). Metroid? Dead. Kid Icarus? I don’t even think anyone payed attention to the 3DS game. Kirby? Sells at Sonic records. Fire Emblem? Japanese TBSGs are never compelling. Custom Robo? I wish.

The solution has always been clear. Ditch the Pii U and refocus on making gaming cheaper and “natural”. Sankofa the Wii! But no. Nintendo is far to “sophisticated” for a dedicated arcade device. Nintendo is about kooky magical controllers that run out of battery life faster than you can get it up. Nintendo is about “intricate gameplay mechanics“, thinking that the selling point of games is how clever the level design is in scripted splendor, like some sort of circus performing. Nintendo is about easter egg hunts where the main objective is to find and collect several silly trinkets, whether it be gold coins, stars, Chozo Artifacts, or triumph forks in the depths of the ocean.

No one is going to buy Nintendo if Nintendo continues to deny fun factor in favor of a broken ideology that is centered around showing the world the value of … inner workings. Nintendo’s developers are so caught up in showing the value of things people do not give a shit about. In Mario, you’re supposed to care about “clever level design”. In Zelda, you’re supposed to care about playing bad music and solving puzzles. In Metroid, you’re supposed to care about…… Samus having sand in the vagina, I guess. In Smash, you’re supposed to care about Nintendo’s glorious history. It’s a contrast to what people want to do in games.

In Mario, you want to kick Koopa ass.

In Zelda, you want to kick Centaur ass.

In Metroid, you want to kick Metroid ass.

In Smash, you want to kick Pit’s ass (stupid ass, cheap ass, faggy ass , bitch ass angel!).

Nintendo does not believe ass kicking is an enjoyable activity of video games. As such, they make games that aren’t about kicking ass, but rather solving psuedo “mysteries” called “puzzles and fetch quests” to progress a shit story. But solving any mystery is considered work. Work isn’t fun, and isn’t supposed to be fun. Therefore, Nintendo games, being that they are about work and no play, are no longer fun to play.

So, with those apparent weaknesses, you expected anyone with any kind of income to spend $350-400 dollars on a piece of tech with a worse controller than N64’s….. to play HORSESHIT!? Nintendo wasted no time reducing that price tag, but that didn’t even help. People wouldn’t even pirate those lame ass games.

And Nintendo doesn’t even believe it to be feasible. However, instead of doing the logical thing and shove the Pii U into a furnace, they’re still going to try and sell it. Instead, they’ll just reduce sales expectations. I actually those to fall under just so they can piss their pants.

Why did Nintendo sell Rare, anyway? They at least made an enjoyable FPS. Nintendo can’t even make a decent platformer anymore!

I like how we haven’t heard a damn thing about that “X” game Monolith was supposedly working on. Perhaps it was canceled?

3D Mario fails once again!

Can you see it Miyamoto!? The grand failure of 3D Mario rears it’s beautiful ass once more to tear down the grand illusion of your supreme arrogance!

ICON0

SO PUCKER UP MOTHER FUCKER!

I guess the japs caught wind of that last trailer and smelled another “puzzle-room” Ninturd coming a mile away.

Me tinks it’s time for Iwata to listen to them investors and drop the Pii U. Fucking Mario isn’t even saving it now. Not only that, it’s fucked in it’s first week of sales.

We could all theorize other reasons the game blundered. A huge lack of content it seems. It looks like a game that just slaps the NSMB aesthetics on and expects the 2D Mario fandom to lap it all up. The appeal of having 4 different characters with unique abilities like in SMB2 was a killer idea, but everyone smelled the “bullshit” of the dress physics lie that Miyamoto spit years ago. Japan LOVES 2D Mario, and they will NOT forgive the deception. Didn’t want to put Peach in NSMBW because they’d have to implement dress physics, then they put it in 3D Mario, you piece of shit! How dare you LIE to our faces!!! You cannot hope to express your UTTER LAZINESS and then expect people to FORGIVE you when you bother to implement desired features in undesired games.

And now the bed you made is the one where you rest. The folly of your enforcement of your “way to play” is denied. Rejected. Bitched-slapped.

So the only thing they really have left is Pokemon, eh? Might as well cancel that lovely “X” game and just make a Pokemon Stadium 3. The only reason people care about Pii U now is because Kamiya has become Nintarded.

Iwata admits Pii U is a failure.

How does he plan to divert this? By releasing games that won’t sell.

If NSMBU could not sell the Pii U, Mario 3D World is destined to fail in the same regard. The fanboys will flee to vgcharts proclaiming the game is a success based on life time sales (ITS PROFITABLE!) and miss the big picture that the console itself needs to be sold due to said game.

An HD console that is getting ass raped during an economic freefall environment = those profits mean dick.

But aside from that, he mentions failing as a Wii successor. What did you expect? How can it be a successor if it doesn’t even follow in the Wii’s footsteps?

Wii was popular because of 3 things.

1. Pricing.

2. Accessibility.

3. Better value in games.

Pii U has NONE of that, and it’s doing worse than the lamecube. It could never be the successor to the Wii because it is the ANTI-Wii. It follows the same mentality of the PS3 in that it cares about it’s own features than your own enjoyment and convenience. It has a controller more hideous than the N64 and Atari Jaguar combined. And virtually no appeal.

Seeing as Japan is regarding mobile devices as more important than ever before (a majority of their RPGs are ending up on 3DS and vita more than consoles), I would assume it’s best for Nintendo to focus strictly on the 3DS and dump the Pii U. There’s no benefit to it’s presence and was defined with no real purpose or logic to it’s design. You got Pokemon XY out, that will do fine to get people to buy a 3DS. But for Pii U, there’s nothing. It’s just a big dumb screen attached to a console for no apparent reason.

Port of The Wind Breaker, coming to the Pii U soon!

I’m starting to wonder if Nintendo is planning on making Toon Link their new mascot. Because right now, their insanitycomes off as dangerously creepy.

Yeah, they went there

They are literally generating hype for what is a PORT of a decade old piece of shit that no one liked. Even officials inside Nintendo knows people don’t want this game. And yet, Aonuma is convinced that this title will do well.

Bundling the Wind Breaker with price cut Pii Us is a deceptive little strategy to artificially inflate the sales of the game itself. It’s sad, though, that many within the company have such little confidence in the title that they’ve made a separate Pii U bundle with NSMBU instead, hoping that the name brand will edge out the inevitable failure of Wind Breaker.

The plan won’t work for many reasons, but I’m amused by the overwhelming amount of effort/desperation in the marketing department. It’s not as bad as giving people 25 lives as a pre-order bonus, but I digress. Aonuma’s head couldn’t be further up the asshole. We’ve got enough to dread with you ruining memories of Zelda 3, but why dig up old skeletons that people clearly hate!?

This is the sign of bitter old men. Those who couldn’t live with the sting of failure time and again. Wind Breaker has imprinted so much on Aonuma’s soul that he just can’t bare to let live. Baby booming is srs bitness. But in the wake of his coming meltdown, Zelda fans have to suffer through his own mediocrity. Not once, not 2wice, but 7 fucking times. Wind Breaker, Minish Cap, Phantom Hourglass, Spirit Tracks (the gayest name I’ve ever heard for a Zelda title), Skyward bore, and that horrid little “sequel” in development right now. You know what we could use a remake of? Zelda 2, the Adventure of Link. Yeah, give me the only Zelda title that required some dexterity to kick ass in. No, you dig up bitch ass Toon Link and his animu island friends. I’m shocked there wasn’t a little beach episode included seeing as they aren’t afraid of Fire Emblem getting a bit randy in the clothing department.

Nintendo, finding their balls

I suppose I’ll give Al Khan of 4kids props for calling it like it is. Japan is over! They’re making so many shit games, they’re going back and digging up their worst offenders! I think Mortal Kombat 9 is my epiphany. Japanese games used to be the most fun I (and many others) have had with consoles in years. Now, they’ve gone off the deep end and given their industry to the otaku who’ve ruined good anime by saturating the sex. They’re so much silicone in Anime these days, I’ve grown gay just watching them all. You’ve got to be a horrible person to make sexuality boring.

Oh well, I missed bitching about the lack of a Time Splitters 4.

How predictably sad

Software sales just over 1 million units for new console system

Nintendo’s Wii U console sold only 160,000 units worldwide during the past three months, with the company blaming a lack of first-party releases for the poor performance. Software sales for the system were just 1.3 million units.

In the previous three months Wii U sales were 390,000 hardware units and 13.42 million games, which left the company short of it’s projected 4 million sales in the financial year.

God damn! Even with the critically acclaimed Pikmin 3?

VG Cats - I can't believe it's not Updated_1367606609993

The Wii didn’t have a problem like this! We had trouble finding one in stores after launch! But Pii U? Damn man. Even the store I work at had the bosses trying to desperately sell that piece of shit. And the trip part is the Wii is STILL outselling the Pii U. Not going by lifetime sales, but if the Pii U was really hot shit, Wii sales would’ve slowed to a pitiful crawl and Pii U selling like hot cakes in the past half year. Ditto for 3DS.

And software only has 1 million total?  Worldwide? What the fuck makes these X’ers believe that Lost Mind can sell period!? A Sonic game that barely ANYONE outside of the internerd universe even remotely knows or cares about, even?

Man, I bet the Nintards are marking their calenders for 2014’s ULTIMATE COMEBACK! BECAUSE SMASH 4 WILL SAVE THE PII U! DEFINITELY!

I’m marking my calender for when Nintendo ends production of Pii U.

So, there’s a new trailer out for Lost Mind. I see the fanboys are already getting hyped up over the game being rated E10 (Return to Dreamland has the same rating. I wouldn’t hold my breath), the same fanboys literally orgasm’d at Zavok’s one line of dialogue “just lay down and die” as though it couldn’t be an empty threat, and the game shows off new Wisp powers. Bird power allows Sonic to fly… and that’s it. The desert looks suspiciously similar to the Dry Dry Desert from Paper Mario. And there’s the void Wisp from Colors DS, not at all new as the trailer suggests. There’s also….  “music note Sonic” whose power is to bounce around on tunes.

………..Fuck this game. This shit has officially killed Sonic the Hedgehog. Music Note Sonic is the equivalent to Caveman Drawing Link. What deranged shit-bird would find this “cool”? This is the true death of Sonic the Hedgehog as we know it.

The wisps are arbitrary enough as they are, but the trailer implies these powers are to be used to defeat the “deadly six”, but all I see are new power-ups only to be used for puzzles and fetch quests (just like 3D Mario). What offensive capabilities would a fucking music note provide to a street fight?!

None of the worlds look unique to Sonic, but copied from a typical Mario game. The jungle looks as though they were taken from Yoshi’s Story, and why would Sonic need to turn into a bird when Tails can give him a flight pick up? Are Wisps even popular? No one talks about them when they unduly praise the shit out of Colors.

The Nintarded X’ers have destroyed Sonic. Iizuka has destroyed Sonic. And he’s been doing this since 2005 with that fucking gun, destroying any appeal the series had left after the devastation of Sonic X and the Advance series. It seems everywhere but America, people have a few brain cells about this insane direction Sega and Nintendo are taking the series. People extol it at the brink of their own insanity, not knowing the destruction this game will rout.

Classic Sonic was never “uncool” at any point. Look at that glare on his face. You know he wouldn’t have any of this bullshit. Even with his insignificance in Generations, he was still cool (probably because his muteness saved him from the wrath of the Colors writers). I mean, really, who the fuck found Colors to be funny? If anyone ever had the idea that comedy equates to a perfectly timed fart, then Sonic Colors is a fart that has been going on for 2 hours and the room reeks of shit, and the presence of rectal bleeding proceeds.

See, if Sega of America still had any influence over the series, we wouldn’t have this shit. The western side knew how to appeal to kids AND adults. The Japanese side has consistently proven they incapable of doing so themselves. Gaining full control of the series in around 2003 has completely doomed Sonic to this.

He looks like a cracked out fucking retard in this pic.

SOJ seems out of control in their attempts to deprive the blue blur of any coolness he might have had left. Why? They never wanted it in the first place. They wanted Sonic to be the “Japanese Mickey Mouse” last I heard.

Well, Merry fucking christmas, you assholes. Music Note Sonic is the last straw that breaks the camel’s back.