Category: RPG’s


Now, i’ve just watched vids where Sonic…. is rolling around in Chicken machines where this white boy was saying it was “creative”. That’s the first red flag.

Then, in the next level, Sonic is being chased by sentient fruit, which is also one where you have to turn apples into urinated geysers. There’s a snow level where you’re a bowling ball for the entirety of it, there’s a desert world where the majority of time is spent in candy and a tree which makes no goddamn sense. There’s also a snow level that isn’t a snow level and is really a giant casino which equally makes no sense, no consistency within the Zone themes.

……….They really don’t give a fuck… at all, do they? I mean when are Sonic fans gonna wake up and realize just how badly they’re getting fucked by this company. I’m already hearing that they’re pissed off at IGN for giving this piece of shit a low score, because IGN has some sort of obligation to Japanese companies, right? I mean someone like me isn’t supposed to judge the game because I’ve never played it, but a company that’s PAID to play these games gets shit anyway because it’s not praise.

But either way, Sonic’s Lost Mind is not only the greatest embarrassment to Sonic fans and developers, it’s also the laziest Sonic game ever created. With all of it’s intricate splendor of game rules and shitty mechanics like turning into chicken mechs and snowballs, there’s also the time-tested nintendo rules of laziness that has been standardized within the company that, if Sega becomes to comfortable, will completely KILL the Sonic franchise faster than Iizuka could alone.

And there’s no better indicator than shit content. For one. The Lost Hex. What is this world? What is it’s significance to Robotnik’s plans? We are told that the Lost Hex is an “undiscovered” continent.

…….First off, this ain’t no damn continent. It looks like a jacked up moon. Shit, lets go to Mars and call that bitch Australia or something, the only aliens found would be US! Does that look like a continent to you? like a giant land mass surrounded by water? Sure, we’ll take Angel Island’s bullshit, but that looks like a continent.

Lost Hex is just some “undiscovered” world which gives the designers an excuse to not give it any history or mythology. Many Sonic games took place in a setting that had some significance OR uniqueness to the world itself. Little Planet fo r instance is a star that travels around Mobius (fuck Earth) every once a year and always seems to be in temporal flux thanks to the Time Stones. This would explain why it looks like Robotnik had already taken over when viewing the cartoon intro and bad ending even though when you get into the place, it seems about normal until Act 3 (if you didn’t Sankofa beforehand). Westside Island had the mythology surrounding the “mysterious stone” that ancient civilizations had worshipped before being wiped out for some unknown reason (this stone was infact the 7th Emerald). Robotnik goes here to get it. He also goes to South Island to get the other 6 emeralds. Space Colony Ark for the Eclipse Cannon. We already know about Angel Island’s Master Emerald and how it housed Perfect Chaos, the god of destruction whom destroyed Knuckles’s ancestors for the greed and lust for power.

Hell, any setting Sonic and the gang go to had some sort of significance and necessity for Robotnik’s master plans. Instead, for Lost Hex, he just goes here to build a machine to suck out energy from Mobius, I assume. The Zeti, whom he enslaves, also have no purpose or utility toward Robotnik’s plans given their ability to control magnetic waves is never put to use. Hell, going back to Sonic Colors, enslaving the Wisps was essential to Robotnik’s plan of creating a mind control device. Here, he’s just an ass who takes them prisoner for no real reason other than some minor confrontation in that comic. They have no significance toward Robotnik’s master plan of building a giant robot.

So… why… the fuck… are they on the Lost Hex? 

Reason being… it’s less work for the developers. See, everything about the Lost Hex and the Zeti spells lazy ass. Just looking at the design of many of the game’s opening acts spell random and sloppily thrown together designs. Why are many of the acts comprised of disjointed spaghetti lines!? Why is there a wall of water in Tropical Coast Act 1… that I cannot enter without being in a drill formation? See, Iizuka had already admitted that he and the rest of his ass buddies were going to be lazy on the game under the premise that you will now be able to see rings more clearly(Haha). But this laziness extends to the actual level design itself. Disjointed platforms and squiggly lines, tiny spherical platforms, straight lined tubes, the works. The look of worlds make the game feel like it takes place in the skies, above the clouds. Especially with all the smaller, floating islands and spheres you have to go through. What, is Lost Hex such a fucked up place that the very fabric of space, physics and geography are suspended for the sake of Chaos to roam? We don’t know, it’s just there. And everything takes place in the sky despite there being evidence of land on the surface.

This wouldn’t be so bad…. if they didn’t make a SKY ZONE! Lost Hex already takes place far above the damn planet and many of the worlds are up in the sky itself, no. There just HAD to be an area in the clouds right there with Iizuka’s head. Not just that, but a goddamn retread level! See, a retread level is where they take bits and parts of  previous levels to make up some sort of final level persay. The ultimate in lazy design, and something that Hideaki Kamiya seems to be a fan of considering every mother fucking Devil May Cry game and Bayonetta seem to be ass deep in! But to add insult to injury, it’s not even the final level, it’s a goddamn filler! And with Zavok as it’s main boss. If you ask me, it would make more sense for Zavok to be in the Fire Zone considering he has a DRAGON MECH and looks like the Christian Devil, but no, he’s been relagated to the fucking retread level that takes place before the only cool looking zone in the whole game.

The hexagonal shaping of the landmass was done just so they can have an easier time designing a world map. It’s not difficult to draw stage select screens on a map comprised of small hexagon shapes. How lazy is that shit!? Sure, it’s not any work to make maps on Sonic Colors, just a bunch of lines with no defining landmarks on the maps themselves, but damn.

Sega is getting too much like Nintendo. I know the game was published by those fuckers, but they took nintendo’s laziness and multiplied it by six.

Not only is the design of the game lazy, but it also screams desperate too. See, many of the game’s Acts are comprised of very inconsistent levels. Nothing seems to have a central theme beyond the first level. See, games like Sonic 3 had Acts that varied in atmosphere and environments, but they maintained a consistent theme. Hydrocity Act 1 looks like a regular sewer system, but Act 2 looks and feels like some ancient ruins. Ice Cap, Act 1 takes place mostly in a cavern at night, but Act 2 goes outside in daylight. Mushroom Hill is mostly a springtime place, but Act 2 the land is being drained. Sandopolis Act 1 is a desert with quicksand. Act 2 is inside a Pyramid with ghosts and lights as their gimmicks. Lava Reef Act 1 is mostly a volcano, but Act 2 feels like some mines with gemstone ore is being generated.

While they are different, they maintain a consistent theme within each act. There is no extreme change in your environment when progressing to the next, which has been a staple of the series up until SA2. Why the fuck am I moving from a desert… to a tree with beehives…. to a goddamn gourmet dimension with diabetic delights floating around the space!?

Because fat fuck Zeti likes food!? Please.

And a Frozen factory that holds a Casino is confusing as well. Were they so desperate to shove in as much nostalgia as possible just to say “we care about you classicfags!” Nostalgia without Context. Generations had context. They were traveling through time which game them an excuse to remake all the levels from past games and bring them to the forefront. That’s nostalgia WITH context. The context of time distortion gave way for nostalgia to flourish. Lost Hex is “new” and “undiscovered”, and has no reason for a Casino to exist on the planet seeing as the Zeti aren’t smart enough to run a business, and there doesn’t seem to be any form of life on the Lost Moon besides them.

And what of the Zeti do we know or care to know? We just know that they’re a “fabled” race that live on Lost Hex. Why are they “fabled”? Why would Robotnik go through the trouble of enslaving them if he never put them to good use beyond catching animals?

I know it’s the mark of an amateur to explain everything, but why make these…. “things” the main selling point of the game if you explain NOTHING about them? I mean say what you will about the giant Kaijuu monsters of the week, but we KNOW a little something something about them beyond inexplicable motives to destroy the world. Chaos is a GOD of destruction who punished Knuckles’s ancestor for being dicks and is angered by the world as a result. The Black Arms feel that humans are a sinful breed fit for nothing more than to be a good supply for their race. Mephiles is a being that became psychotic from scientic experiments gone wrong. Gerald Robotnik and Shadow wanted revenge against humanity for the death of a little girl. Not only that, but we know WHY they are important. Solaris is a god worshipped by a cult, Dark Gaia is an evil god that fought against Light Gaia (or that mogwai that loves chocolate), Shadow is “the Ultimate Lifeform” with alien blood, Chaos is a water god feared by forgotten civilizations, etc.

These villains have DEFINITION. They have CLARITY. They have defined motivations for why they’re assholes. The Zeti HAD Robotnik’s illogical and dickish enslavement, but they go nowhere with it. They aren’t important to anyone or anything. They have no significance in the world, and the worst part is that they have to rely on someone else’s tech just to be an actual threat to the world. Mephiles at least got an on-screen kill against the fastest thing alive with no work needed. I WANT someone to come in here and justify the necessity for the Zeti to use Robotnik’s tech.

Nothing in this game makes sense except the nicknames we give it. When you say someone has completely lost their mind, it’s implying that someone is mentally ill or behaving in a strange way. What’s strange? Completely Unusual. Not an expectation. Differing from the norm. As though the game were some desperate attempt to be completely different. That is the essence of a Lost Mind.

Nintendo ditching the Wii strategy to go after the HD crowd shows they’re out of their minds because they had a winning strategy going. Capcom ramping up on DLC to help their money troubles show they’re out of their minds because DLC was the reason people were AGAINST Capcom in the first place. Turning Sonic into Mario shows that Sega is out of their minds because Sonic’s claim to fame was being in direct competition to Mario.

And believe it or not, not having a console doesn’t automatically stop that from being the case. Turning Metroid into an FPS put it in competition with other FPS’s at the time like Halo, especially Halo. Creating the Kinect or Move put them in competition with the Wii motion controller. Turning RE6 into a action shoot em up puts it in competition with games like Gears of War or what not. What do you think turning Sonic into Mario Galazy do? Put it in competition with Mario Galazy. Hell, anyone putting games on a Nintendo console is in direct competition with Nintendo anyway, because they need to battle them for fans on their own turf. And the only company successful enough to battle Nintendo on their turf was Capcom with the Street Fighters and the Resident Evils. Why? Because Capcom put out quality shit to meet Nintendo halfway.

All these dumb asses going around saying “well Sega doesn’t have a console to compete against Nintendo” are spraying hot air. Sega not being in the business of selling consoles doesn’t mean they weren’t competing with Nintendo until now. This idiotic frenzy of pairing Nintendo and Sega together is nothing more than a power play for Nintendo to grab up more franchises to leech off of. It’s effectively removing competition on the software side and accumulating that power into their hands.

At the same time, this power play will DESTROY Sonic. If you make it nothing more than a Mario clone personified, then people will have LOST any reason to maintain interest in the franchise. You think people don’t give a fuck about Sonic now, just wait until the paid off metacritic shit rolls in. Sega will be so psyched by the fake good reviews that they will kill whatever is left of Sonic’s foundation.

Why? Well, why play Sonic if it’s going to be JUST like Mario? People will gravitate toward Mario and not even gleen at Sonic. It’s technically the same experience in a less popular franchise that is infamous for 2 bad games, attached to a company that actively flips you off these days. People pretend Sunshine didn’t happen because Nintendo hasn’t gone completely rogue like Sega.

At this point, the uncool and completely illogical content of Sonic’s Lost Mind will keep potential buyers at bay if the crap appeal of Pii U hasn’t done that already. Hell, that will be everyone’s excuse for why Lost Mind didn’t sell by the time February comes around.

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But I guess I shouldn’t expect Nintendo to understand.

He used to kick your ass. Now you gotta beat the game first before he can kick it again!

This is how I feel when I get a higher difficulty for my troubles.

< If it doesn’t work, skip to 9:32.

I would so completely love to know the reasoning behind this idiocy in which a possibly more tedious run through more of the same game…. is considered a reward for modern games. And before all the “technically correct” asswipes show up with their 2 cents, yes, I am aware that older games also had higher difficulties as rewards. And they’re every bit as unmemorable as Lost Mind will end up becoming. There’s no point to these piddly modes after you’ve completed the game once.

And just why are games easier now than they were back when? It goes beyond the Arcade mentality that developers had back then. Where is the necessity and/or demand for this shit? Is it some conception that gamers are afraid of a challenging game? Is it that hard games are simply not wanted anymore?

I often ask why not just make the main game hard enough already or just include the hard modes at the start rather than expecting this to be some sort of prize for w/e troubles you went through the first time. Getting through the main game should be rewarding alone, not “experiencing” it. And that’s the only reason I could see why devs keep doing this to “coddle the dreaded casuals”. Since devs are pretentious people these days who want to show the world their creativity and ingenuity, a difficult game prevents that from happening. But people usually gravitate toward challenging games (FAIR challenging games, not bullshit challenging like F-Zero GX or DMC3) because being able to conquer a tough game feels rewarding in itself. A big reason as to why people don’t like playing games anymore is because they become a mere process in which they just burn through content. Being able to explore more of the game’s content should feel rewarding because you earned it. Not be handed the content on a silver platter because devs and pubs are afraid of scaring away potential fans. Despite popular misconception, gamers are not frightened by an ass whoopin. It’s OK to smash their faces once in a while.

Of all the bullshit in the world, why do developers still do this? Because the way I see it, it’s too late to give me a challenge. I’ve seen the game’s content, I’ve explored the world, solve your arbitrary puzzles, beat all your mythical guardians, banged the princess, and I got the soundtrack to hum in my head while I’m at work. I don’t need your cute little “hard mode” anymore. Unless there’s an actual tangible reward for it, it has no use. But then, I’d be pissed hat I’d have to go through the whole damn game again just for this little bonus.

In the case of Zelda, i dont see this changing until Aonuma is taken out behind a shed. Aonuma admitted to being a pussy when it comes to simple enemies like the Octoroks. And Miyamoto is TERRIFIED of giving the players a challenge because the Water dungeon was a poorly designed piece of shit. Nintendo games have no real longevity beyond Smash Bros. and Pokemon because of this “fear” of challenging gameplay. That if they make the games hard, the player won’t be able to feel their AMAZING CREATIVITY! If it’s that bad, put a level select cheat in or w/e. Hell…

It’s amazing how illogical design choices like this are glossed over without as much as a spark of thought as to why it’s still happening seeing as they do more harm than good.

Lorule? Really?

The villain looks like Ganon went the drag queen route and said fuck being a badass. It’s like Nintendo keeps making more homosexual villains as the series moves on.

So, the story looks… the same as LTTP, the 7 wise men’s daughters are all captured or whatnot and put into paintings, I suppose wall art is this game’s gimmick and theme, just to express how “artistic” this game is. And Hilda as the counterpart to Zelda? They couldn’t think of a more generic name, could they? I mean… Hiiiildaaaaaa!? Zelda games always had interesting and hard to remember names for their characters. “Hilda” just shows Nintendo’s lack of fuck these days.

Damn, it looks so boring, I can’t even muster the piss for it. It looks like they’re trying to sell us an old game with new gimmicks and shit no one wants like this cave drawing mess. Ever since Ocarina of Time, the series is nothing but a demonstration of gimmicks. You had the Ocarina, you had the silly ass masks, you have the Rod of Seasons, you have the Harp of Ages, you got the Wind Waker, the Minish Cap, the obligatory Wolf, the motion plus talking sword, ugh.

You know how Dawn of Sorrow had the touch screen gimmick for symbol drawing after defeating bosses? They left that gimmick shit out of the next 2 games due to rampant complaints of how awful that shit is. Konami tries to incorporate some feedback for their games. I suppose, I don’t play Metal Gear beyond Rising. But Nintendo doesn’t seem to listen to anything beyond superficial demands. Oh sure, the tripping in Smash 4 is gone, but if the gameplay will remain like Brawl just to deny the maniac players their own enjoyment (which affects everyone as Brawl is factually less fun than Melee), then it means nothing in the long run. Sonic won’t ever be in a GOOD Smash Brothers because of that idiot’s desire to keep Smash out of the hands of tournament competitors.

When people talk about wanting some oldschool…. anything, no one is talking about superficial bullshit like similar designs and artwork. Reused enemies or any of that shit. Why do developers always pull this shit!? NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT AESTHETIC BULLSHIT! When people talk about wanting games like the good ol days, they mean the whole damn experience, not the art style.

Sega honestly believes they can get away with badniks in Lost Mind while degrading everything else for forced innovation like touchscreen wisps and lolparkour that everyone pretends to be interested in. Same with this game. There is literally NO interest in this game. I thought something was wrong when no one gets pissed about anyone dissing A Link Between Worlds, but people find Wind Breaker HD more interesting than this game. How fucked is your life, Nintendo!? One of your biggest insults is generating more hype than another cocked up Zelda title.

And why would they be interested in a game that pretends to be a SNES game with gimmicks? And another “Light and Dark” mechanic that no one wants after Metroid Prime 2 made it uncool. Oh look, it’s the same world, but just more evil looking than usual! GENIUS!

This mechanic is not fun because that means spending more time shifting through dimensions trying to find your way into another dungeon/puzzle/area/entrance/etc. Why Nintendo continues to use this shit is beyond me, they aren’t popular because of this mechanic.

Oh well. Just another example of Japan’s downfall in gaming.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Man, I always knew mandated health insurance was a bad idea. It broke the government, the sanity of millions, and even prevents Pokemon from entering the homes of crack addicted children of America!

Castlevania, Harmony of Despair, I believe, is one of the few digital titles you should probably get if you’re a quote…. “retrofag” as I have been labeled in the past. If you’re a Castlevania fan or fanboy/girl, or you just like…. games like this, then yeah. It’s something that should’ve been put on the Wii considering how simple it is to play, but at the same time it’s a game that will rape you to crumbs often. Castlevania used to be known for doing that before they made the idiotically titled “Metroidvania” games where they all seem to be made for pussy anime fans who don’t know what an actual challenge is (sans COTM and OOE). Given that the game has the same style as the “Metroidvanias”, it’s surprisingly fuckin hard.

Oh… you think you slick!?

Funny enough, the way the game flows feels similar to how dungeons flowed in the Legend of Zelda series. Or at least the first 2-3 games. See, those Zelda titles had dungeons that could be completed in order 2 minutes tops, you know, get in, handle your business, move on to the next one in your world map. They would take longer if you didn’t know how to navigate. These were more like mazes, not giant shrines filled with baby step puzzles everywhere you go, them shits had some DANGER to it’s hollowed corridors. Most of the time you spend navigating and trying to survive the dungeons themselves, looking for any treasures that could aid you on your quest. Along the way, you face off against enemies that can and probably will kill you. It flowed in a way that doesn’t really impede your progress until you’ve solved some random puzzle with a silly intricate mechanic that made the dungeon itself feel artificially crafted by that bitch Hylia, they were really just dark caverns filled with traps and enemies.

See, Zelda stopped feeling like Indiana Jones and started feeling more like that Nickalodeon game show, I think it was “Legends of the Hidden Temple” where they had children running around this fake ass temple solving puzzles under a time limit. Except that show was fun to watch. Not so much to play.

“A contestant assembles a three piece statue in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. When the statue is built correctly, the unlocked doors of the room will open and the contestant can advance towards the artifact,” Does that NOT sound like some shit you do in Zelda?

Here’s one full chapter run from CVHD. These people are slow to get through (should’ve picked a Belmont, not those puss ass animu magic characters).

Hold up. Where’d he get that gun from? Eh, w/e. You see how it it flows? The only things that impede your progress are enemies and some traps. But even then, you have some Zelda elements in there like filling an area up with water so you can reach a higher room. There’s also tons of treasure chests lying about with health, gear, what may have you. How long they take depends on your navigation and ability to kick ass, not how big they are or how long it takes to assemble a boss key. And the enemies and bosses are actually a challenge. You have to LEARN when to attack and what not, the boss’s weaknesses aren’t just given to you blatantly.

Most of the elements are there (switches for doors even), all you’d need would be keys for certain doors, a dungeon exclusive item, etc.

And before any of ya’ll puss ass hardcore dipshits come in here, NO it don’t have to be “2D” for this shit to work. Hell, Castlevania Legacy of Darkness is a better Zelda game than Aonuma Zelda. Aside from the Castle Center/Tower of Ruins/Outer Wall/Villa-Garden Maze levels, yeah. It works. It’s the “nature” and structure of the game itself that should be replicated. Or more appropriately, “brought back”.

Ok…. so let me get this straight.  You get to choose which order of dungeons you get to go in…. which sounds nice on paper, but access isn’t instantaneous (which would be natural and worked for Mega Man). Instead, in order to access these dungeons, you have to RENT these items from a shop for 20 rupees each, and then go to the dungeons (which specifically tell you what items you need to get into the dungeon…)

Ok, so apparently this is the same thing Iizuka is doing with Lost Mind. Nostalgia pandering with no idea what people liked about the nostalgia. The whole “enter X dungeon in any order you like” was something that was present in the very first Zelda game. The problem is you didn’t need specific items to get into any of them (aside from the raft). In fact, that game was the very essence of freedom in a Zelda title. This is completely artificial and makes no rational sense. This being a sequel to Link to the Past, a game which Link had access to ALL HIS SHIT, this “Ravio” hoardes your shit and makes you pay 20 rupees per rent. That’s the first thing retarded. Next is the need to have a specific item just to get into the dungeons in the first place. The game is essentially charging you to enter a dungeon.

Beyond that, this shit treats the game world as something completely mechanical. When you started to need items to get into dungeons, there was something more… “organic” to it’s structure. The propeller which is essentially the magic leaf from Wind Breaker, would’ve been used to get over some large chasm/canyon with wind drafts coming up from the ground to support your travel over the chasm. As tedious as that shit was in Wind Breaker, that was more unique to the overall world itself. But all in all, it just shows how little Aonuma knows about making an overworld without reducing everything to “mechanics“. The game rules must be invisible and masked so that the player doesn’t even notice he’s being jerked around by the game developers. This was the biggest flaw of Zelda games today, ESPECIALLY that damn Skyward Sword. Everything you did in that was artificial. Especially when it came to those time stones in the desert.

This is why the overwhelming focus on “gameplay” is dangerous. Look no further than the mechanical ass Zelda series by Mr. Aonuma Style himself.

Wind Breaker HD leaves a small fart in Japan.

bu bu bu but… Zelda was never big in Japan! Ever! Of course it wouldn’t succeed there!

Ah, familiar cries. They tear at my ears. I don’t even wanna hear all that. One commenter said it best.

I think people other than myself are finally getting tired of Nintendo releasing the same games over and over, whether its a remake or even the same game with a brand new coat of paint and a new title screen.

This was seen with NSMBU. Possibly one of their best money makers is drowned in mediocrity of intentional sabotage.

Funny thing. The original actually did better in Japan than it did over here. If this crap fest ain’t pushin Pii U’s, it will fucking fail stateside.

It’s only a matter of time before everyone starts justifying the failure of Wind Breaker. What in the hell made Aonuma think this piece of shit was gonna sell?

Oh, and don’t be dissin Zelda 2 mother fuckers.

It kicked more ass than Skyward Bore

I have to come clean with something. Back in 2006-09, I was addicted to MMOs. Started off with Maple Story, went over to BOTs from Acclaim, then I got stuck on Grand Chase for 3 years.

Yeah…. it looked gay as hell.

Grand Chase was an MMO that advertised itself as an “arcade-like” MMO… which meant nothing but having the game in 2D and treating it like an action game you’d see on the Genesis or SNES. Believe me when I said it was fucking good. Too fucking good.

I used a character called “Ryan”. In the pic, he’s the orange haired guy on the bottom wit the double spears or w/e. Used him primarily because he could transform into a wolf. Then as you got more classes, he could change into an overpowered “Nephilim”, and then into something called “Magnus” which was basically a Knight that could summon more monsters. Compared to all the other characters, he was a tad underwhelming without his Nephilim trans.

The environment of Grand Chase was nothing short of horrid. While the game itself was fun, the thing that made it a nightmare for the most part was the intense grinding you had to do in the game. It took MONTHS to gain one level past 30, and a lot of times grinding does nothing for you but give you access to shitty gear that amounts to nothing. But see, the was the benefit to using Ryan, see. Nephilim could kill bosses that were past my level. In any other case, you have to party up just to get through higher level’d dungeons, but Ryan’s Neph made that a non-issue. Nephilim transformation was just that mother fucking good. So why bother leveling and grinding? Well, because outside of transformations, Ryan’s normal abilities were… shit. So I wanted to do more than MP grind just for a transformation and rely on his regular abilities cause Neph spamming just wasn’t fun. of course, Ryan’s stats were purposefully shit just to say his real strength lies in Neph spamming.

This wouldn’t be so bad if Neph wasn’t so boring…. and if the game didn’t have a PVP environment. See, PVP is the worst thing you could put into an MMO, especially with characters that are unbalanced. Ryan’s MP gain is horrendous, so when it comes to PVP, he stands no chance most of the time unless you used his Sentinel class which isn’t that good because you have to work extra harder to compensate for short range and shitty attack power. And by then, everyone knows how to deal with Neph players and the Ronan fans are so overpowered themselves with Abyss Knights, and then you get to the Amy users who are equally as overpowered, you get a big mess.

This was a pain in the ass primarily because you cannot avoid the PVP mode even if you wanted to. If you wanted a class change (which was highly beneficial in Ryan’s case), you had no choice. And the problem with PVP is, despite all the idiots that say otherwise, it belongs entirely to the cash users who have gear that completely dwarfs anything you have from the ingame GP shops. It’s frustrating when games have a “pay-to-win” environment which preys on the hyper-inflated alpha male competitive environment to fuel it’s profits, which devolves the gamers into complete monsters.

In order to get job changes, you had to win at least 30-50 matches for the last 2 job, along with finding a certain number of 5% drops from tedious bosses. However, if you wanted a shorter job change, you had to pay for Cash quests. 5 wins, 1 100% drop. If that aint some bullshit, I don’t know what is.

Infact, half the content was Cash exclusive. You could get pets in the game (think Chao) that could assist you during battles. But you can only have one for free. Every other pet is cash, and they’re much more useful than your “goo” pet is in PVP. I haven’t even gotten into the lottery machines which require cash and…. the story goes on and on. The game just pushed you into cashing in for everything. Else, you suffer with a much more difficult game.

Once I got to level 50 with my Ryan, taking 3 years to do so, I stopped playing. There was no point to continuing with that senseless idiocy, the asshole community, the forced necessity of the Cash shop, the jackass mods who would ban people just for winning a PVP match against them, and simply holding out on Ryan’s 4th job gear for cash gear for one whole year, which made his Xenocider class completely worthless in the long run.

The game was published by Ntreev, later known as Ngreed because everything they did to their games was steeped completely in greed. When the majority of the game was dependent on the cash shop, it’s essentially a ruined game. They had essentially ruined another game called “Trickster” when they had some… idk “lolboxes” or w/e which flipped the community on it’s head of how they ruined that game for more cash, it’s a little fuzzy in my memory since I’ve never played the game and heard it from an ex-trickster addict.

Ntreev’s business strategy is…. a Skinner Box. In psychology, it’s the study of behavior modification based off of consequences. It’s usually done with a rat in a box where by it is at the mercy of the person who owns the box. Now, you have the choice of rewarding and punishing the rat based on it’s own behavior, of course if it stands on 2 legs, you give it food. So then if you wanted to stand on it’s 2 legs, you made sure to starve it. And so frequently, the rat would stand on it’s 2 legs over and over just to get food. If you selected a behavior to punish, like say the rat trying to climb out of the box, you would give it an electric shock, and you know, once burned twice shy. So in relation to Grand Chase, the players are essentially punished by having much harsher conditions for completing job change quests, having severely weaker gear to go into dungeons or PVP mode putting you at a significant disadvantage sans Nephilim (which then begs whether or not you actually like Ryan), and of course being denied access to many of the game’s perks like different pets. You will be rewarded with the complete opposite only by paying money. So looking at the community where everyone that is not a newb is fully cashed, the community is a colony of rats.

Grand Chase, more than anything, turned me off from online gaming. When you get into a game that is surrounded predominantly by assholes who wish to make your life miserable by showing off how much better their stats were than yours (yeah, they literally taunt you for shit stats), it gives you a very bleak perception of the online gaming environment. And none of that has changed since getting a PS3.

Kratos and Fat Bitch. LOATHE ENTIRELY!

I tried not buying an online pass for Playstation All-Stars, but my roommate, being the jerkass he is, bought one himself, because he felt that “competition is good for building character” or some retarded philosophical bullshit who used as an excuse to fuel his own desires (plus the insults of “cheapskate” was like a downpour from his mouth). The very nature of PSASBR is similar to a Skinner box. The DLC is all on-disc, ofcourse, but I’ve never seen a game out of it’s way to advertise it’s on-disc faggotry so much as this game. When you go through arcade mode and fight one of those purple diamond clones that appear to be Kat and Zues, it’s a very subtle but devious form of advertisement because now you’re dealing with characters that re clearly more powerful than they need to be, and you have no familiarity with them because, if you bought it used, you would have no access to them eitherway. And Amma help you if you can’t get internet access either. Your content is locked on the disc and you have no means of prying it out. So, in skinnerian terms, you’re punished for buying used or not buying DLC at all which locks you out of the game’s 20% content. And of course, if you have no experience in dealing with characters like Zeus or Issac, then your ability to defend against them is severely hampered. So you’re punished for simply not paying extra. I personally wanna know why Capcom got heat for shit like this, but not Sony in particular. Most people have experience in fighting Blanka and Dudley from Street Fighter, how the fuck do you counter a super armor character?! It doesn’t help that the users online are just as dickish as anyone else.

The competitive environment in this game is actually worse than MK9s. Hell, MK9 was nowhere near this horrendous. Of course with Roomie begging me for help, I had to deal with getting bitched out for evading moves majority of the time, getting trapped in Cole’s infinite bullshit where you’re frozen in the air until they super your ass, and then you have Kratos, goddamn... you hear all about how powerful Kat and Issac are in combating these things, so roomie goes buying them up (and personally, I wanted Emmet for myself so…. yeah, there’s go my integrity.) and….we still get our asses kicked. But all that hype worked in getting him to buy a useless French thing with cat suit costumes that he’s probably jerking off to.

What I really hated was how deliberate the game was with it’s DLC (which probably explains why no one bought em). And not only that game. You also have Castlevania, Harmony of Despair which is, for all intents and purposes, Grand Chase lite. The issue of Chaos Rings. You have the ability to get these rings in Chapter 3 on hard more, but the drop rates for the rings are severely low. If you buy Chapter 11 which is some retro stage based on a game I know fuck all about, you actually have a higher drop rate for Chaos Rings to appear. So even in simple games like this, you are encouraged to buy the DLC for these items as well, or be punished with having to do more runs than need be just for one damn ring.

The issue of needing to buy everything new can’t be stressed enough due to the nature of online passes. As I’ve said plenty of times before, it’s to strong arm the consumer into paying full price. I don’t even know what “season passes” are, but I’m assuming it’s a time limited access to online features in which you have to pay again just to get back online. If that is the case, then I dread whole-heartedly the future of the video game console. The shit I had to deal with in Grand Chase is coming straight to the consoles…. or has been here since 2006 or so. I mean, I’m just now using a PS3 and there is so much bullshit you have to deal with on these piece of techno crap, you have to vacuum the goddamn thing just to keep it from burning up from dust. And then the amount of games I have with locked content is frustrating to deal with.

Thinking about selling PSAS because Roomie nearly lost his damn mind with the DLCs on that mess. He was considering buying those little…. bobble head things that pop up when you kill all the players in the match at once or something, I had to slap him off with a paddle. And then you think about all the hardcore over the internet who praise developers for their rampant DLC practices sans Capcom and I’m thinking…

Can’t you see… .that you are the rats?

One of the things I like though is that Free to Play is actually coming under fire. There’s some investigations or w/e going on in Europe over the legitimacy and legality behind the free-to-play model, which brings a smile to my face because I’m hoping those bastards over at Ntreev gets whats coming to them, but also because it would trace itself toward the console spectrum with the DLC madness going on. Everything that starts on PC usually finds it’s way on consoles. That would include the curses they bring with them.Then again, w/e blessings that grace the rest of the world hardly ever come stateside primarily because we are in a bureaucracy that supports capitalism above ethics.

What I find amusing is that there are so many debates and controversies about things that developers constantly do on the PS3 and 360 in regards to online passes, DLCs, DRM, interactive movies, digital releases, etc. But when you have the Wii that has none of that bullshit? They shit all over it because of a non-issue of catering to a “dreaded audience”. I’m fully aware now of all the butt-fucking these hardcore types have been getting, and I have yet to see why dealing with all of this was worth more than a Wii.

In order for gaming to be the way it is now, you literally have to be out of your mind.

Port of The Wind Breaker, coming to the Pii U soon!

I’m starting to wonder if Nintendo is planning on making Toon Link their new mascot. Because right now, their insanitycomes off as dangerously creepy.

Yeah, they went there

They are literally generating hype for what is a PORT of a decade old piece of shit that no one liked. Even officials inside Nintendo knows people don’t want this game. And yet, Aonuma is convinced that this title will do well.

Bundling the Wind Breaker with price cut Pii Us is a deceptive little strategy to artificially inflate the sales of the game itself. It’s sad, though, that many within the company have such little confidence in the title that they’ve made a separate Pii U bundle with NSMBU instead, hoping that the name brand will edge out the inevitable failure of Wind Breaker.

The plan won’t work for many reasons, but I’m amused by the overwhelming amount of effort/desperation in the marketing department. It’s not as bad as giving people 25 lives as a pre-order bonus, but I digress. Aonuma’s head couldn’t be further up the asshole. We’ve got enough to dread with you ruining memories of Zelda 3, but why dig up old skeletons that people clearly hate!?

This is the sign of bitter old men. Those who couldn’t live with the sting of failure time and again. Wind Breaker has imprinted so much on Aonuma’s soul that he just can’t bare to let live. Baby booming is srs bitness. But in the wake of his coming meltdown, Zelda fans have to suffer through his own mediocrity. Not once, not 2wice, but 7 fucking times. Wind Breaker, Minish Cap, Phantom Hourglass, Spirit Tracks (the gayest name I’ve ever heard for a Zelda title), Skyward bore, and that horrid little “sequel” in development right now. You know what we could use a remake of? Zelda 2, the Adventure of Link. Yeah, give me the only Zelda title that required some dexterity to kick ass in. No, you dig up bitch ass Toon Link and his animu island friends. I’m shocked there wasn’t a little beach episode included seeing as they aren’t afraid of Fire Emblem getting a bit randy in the clothing department.

Nintendo, finding their balls

I suppose I’ll give Al Khan of 4kids props for calling it like it is. Japan is over! They’re making so many shit games, they’re going back and digging up their worst offenders! I think Mortal Kombat 9 is my epiphany. Japanese games used to be the most fun I (and many others) have had with consoles in years. Now, they’ve gone off the deep end and given their industry to the otaku who’ve ruined good anime by saturating the sex. They’re so much silicone in Anime these days, I’ve grown gay just watching them all. You’ve got to be a horrible person to make sexuality boring.

Oh well, I missed bitching about the lack of a Time Splitters 4.

Damn, there is no greater feeling of knowing you grew up during the 90s. Better cartoons, better music, and fuck all you new age bastards, better fucking games. But you know what? better music is the main one that everyone could agree on. I mean, Pokemon, shit man. It’s undeniable that Pokemon had kick ass music back in the day. No one…and I mean NO ONE can deny this. Even the brainwashed turds in the fanbase can’t deny it. I mean, listen to this shit.

EWW! I don’t wanna be a hero, I wanna be the very best like no one ever was! This sounds WORSE than the 4kids bullshit they produce today. But would you believe 4kids was involved with music like this?

FUCK YER! LETS GO AND DO SOME ANIMAL CRUELTY!

Damn, these young folks are growing up with pussy shit these days. Even the games are less interesting than they were years ago.

Even the gay shit was sexier than this new age gunk.