Fuck you, Control Sticks

As I play more Borderlands 1, I’ve come to notice a few things.

1. It’s still a good ass game.
2. Playthrough 2 doesn’t have as many legendaries.
3. Sony makes worse controllers than Nintendo.

Emphasis on point 3. As I continue playing, I notice that both my control sticks seem to be shot. One, pressing up or down (moving back and forward) causes my camera to shift left or right. I don’t know why it’s doing this as I’ve been far more gentle with control sticks after going through 8 controllers for GCN. But here, they fuck up without warning! It might be just typical Sony “oh we won’t make durable products so you spend more money on new devices” bullshit, but it’s annoying and difficult to fucking AIM when you’re trying to move as the damn camera keeps moving on it’s own!

Looking at my controller layout (as BL1 is not very comfortable with allowing you to configure your controls as the second game is), both sticks are used because L3 allows me to run without using a secondary button, and R3 for melee attacks. Would be nice if it didn’t feel like I was destroying the controller in the process. It feels like I’m gonna break this damn thing everytime I play Borderlands, and it seems almost exclusively a problem with this title. ThoughI’ve noticed the same issues in Dynasty Warriors Gundam 3 as well as a few Ratchet games, it’s a hinderance in Borderlands.

I keep wondering why I couldn’t use the D-Pad for this game as the movement controls are “move forward, backward, sidestep left and right”. Rarely do I use diagonal movement and double taps to run feel more natural than pressing a stick into the controller. But alas, this seems to be a big problem with industry as a whole.

EVERY game for some reason needs to use control sticks. The Ratchet games used to let you use the Dpad for movement, but going into Tools of Destruction, you are limited to the Sticks as the Dpads are now used for “quick swapping” of weapons (because people are too lazy to open up a menu?). DWG3 had you using the stick even though the first game allowed you to use the damn Dpad. For Amma knows what reason, LittleBigPlanet, this being a 2 Dimensional game for Dehuti’s sake, only allows you to use the control stick. Why!? Because there’s a helmet in the game that you need to aim perfectly with in order to get a sense of how pretentious it is. The PSP? If you’re not playing any 2D game, you have to use that fucking little thumb tack! Do these people know how goddamned uncomfortable it is to play shit on this device!? Sonic Racing Transformed is such a restrictive game that you can’t even change acceleration and braking controls!

Instead of using the Dpad which is already in a comfortable spot (the DOMINANT thumb position), developers cling to that damned stick, as if to try and force this as some sort of standard for gaming even though it’s impractical for anything other than bloated PC Adventure games. That and they fuck up to easily. For some reason, Nintendo is hellbent on abolishing Dpads altogether (can’t use Dpad on Brawl unless you’re using shit ass wiimote, 3BS designed with Dpad in a horrible position, same with Pii U, everything that isn’t NSMB, Kirby, DKCR, or Sucker Paper Mario has to use the nun chuck) even though most of their games could benefit from using them (especially Smash Bros.)

This isn’t me advocating some sort of destruction over the usage of control sticks either, they have their functions, like I said for adventure games or stealth bullshit, they’re fine, but for general action games, racing games, FPS’s (movement wise) where momentum of movement is rarely considered, it’s a hassle. I was shocked that a stealth game (Sly Cooper) allowed the use of the Dpad (accompanied by a run button :P).

First and foremost, a game shouldn’t make it so you have to take your left thumb off your movement controls, so any developer who’s eaten enough asshole sandwiches to use the Dpad as “just some extra set of buttons for you to switch weapons or styles ala DMC4” has already failed. The Dpad shouldn’t be some secondary set of buttons for menu/inventory management. It should be the other option for movement. If Borderlands 1 allows me to switch weapons using an alternative method, I should be able to move with an alternative method as well. The Borderlands series has some of the most unintuitive controls I’ve ever seen for an FPS. Then again, this is ported from the PC which got shit configured all over the damn place, it seems.

You know how Devs should treat the Dpad? Same way Vanillaware does. I was checking out Dragon’s Crown, read the manual… and I almost had a fit when I saw “move with goddamned stick”. But in the menu, you can actually CHANGE that… to the Dpad. Which is SUITABLE for a beat em up in the same vain as Streets of Rage. Could you imagine having to use that stick to try and dash!? Anyone who’s played CVS2EO on GCN knows that pain all to well.

I couldn’t imagine playing half these fighting games on a control stick. Mega Man Network Transmission was almost frustrating, the little bastard wouldn’t slide sometimes.

Funny. Most games I could see working with Dpad are games that don’t require you to walk! And that’s a large majority of my game collections. And everything I own on PSP. Games that require you to walk are mostly centered on Stealth and Adventure games. Sometimes FPS’s that have stupid segments for no reason than to show off creativity. Or stupid shit like Mario walking not to wake up one enemy in the whole game (the plants)… and maybe some thin boardwalks if you’re a pussy. And many games with the sticks for exclusive movement have nothing configured to Dpads, making them neglected inputs.

I would hope this isn’t the industry trying to force some standard down our throats, but seeing as they almost got their way of killing off used games, I doubt nothing. Couldn’t be any happier to use Dpad for Sonic Generations.