I’ve mentioned a few times before about Death Battle and how bullshit some of their fights are (specifically when regarding DBZ and Sonic). For those who don’t know, it’s a web show made by Screwattack pitting several characters from movies to cartoons to videogames, and hyper-analyzing all of their stats (or so they claim) to see who could kill each other in a fight. Kinda like that show “Deadliest Warrior” that was on Spike TV. Recently, they made a new match up between the Megazord vs Voltron, and because i’ve been on this Power Rangers kick, people have asked (more like pestered) me if I watched it. Having known about it for a while, telling them that I have no desire to see what is clearly a one-sided fight would probably upset them. See, I overdid my excitement for the movie, and they clearly wanted me to shut the hell up about it. Them bothering me about Death Battle tells me the Rangers lost. If so, why wouldnt they? Power Rangers was hot for a while, and taking a piss on popular shit is their current MO.
Death Battle is a shitshow of false claims and misinformation. They’re concerned with creating controversy and nothing more. And no, I do not base that off of the Goku vs Superman fights. They’re easy targets for flamewars and have about a million debunk videos as is. And again, no, this has nothing to do with DK vs Knuckles (though it’s a good guess :P). 

With that out of they way, lets talk more Power shit. I did the stupid thing and binged watched 10fuckingseasons of this shit. The majority of which came from Disney, unfortunately as I had no interest in the Fox era with the exception of Time Force. I lost my damn mind when this movie came out. And despite being average, I love this fucking movie too much to do a Capeshit on it. That said, these 10 seasons did not include the original Mighty Morphin series. I watched that shit 20 years ago and I have no desire to see Tommy get put on a pedestal. I’ve decided that after spending 5 months watching this bullshit, why not share all the wonderful tidbits of forced sexism! Seriously, this franchise has influenced the out of control feminism we have today by turning all the males into chauvinistic jackasses. It’s actually hard to watch at times. 

And yes, it’s one of those gay ass top ten lists. 😛 From worst to best.

10) Dino Thunder

By the balls of Ra, if you wanted concrete evidence of something that is truly overrated, look no further than Dino Thunder. False/exxagerated claims up the ass!

I was truly confused when people claimed that Hayley (some tech bitch who makes zords) was such a strong, powerful female character, she wasn’t even relevant to the show. I’m convinced you could cut her out and it wouldn’t make a lick of difference. 

Through the power of bad writing, we have villains with zero backstory or motives, virtually unlikable heroes who can’t stop being smartass jerks half the time, an evil ranger clone with no lasting impact on the series, a 6th ranger arc that lasts for 20 episodes it seems, a Red Ranger who pulls powers out of thin air, and a mentor character who gets his dicked sucked by the show runners because he used to be the Green Ranger. And I laugh at the claims of Mesogog being a compelling villain when all he does throughout the show is sit on his ass and bitch out his henchman for their failures. At least Rita Repulsa hatched schemes to fend off the rangers, Mesogog doesn’t do anything. Yet I’m supposed to believe he can defeat Lothor!? That’s some Death Battle logic! 

Dino Thunder’s praise comes exclusively from the nostalgia pandering meta humor and nothing more. I did like that Lost in translation episode, though.

9) Wild Force

I had high hopes for this series, but I couldn’t recommend it to anyone. It has a great premise, a Tarzan-esq leader who murders people…. >_>, and god-like ranger powers capable of destroying a planet busting weapon of terror that makes all fanboys rage. And it has 2 team up episodes!

The problem? Well… nothing really… it’s just a giant BORE! If you need a cure fore insomnia, can’t go wrong with this season. It’s just not engaging, and the random environmentalist message that pops up outta nowhere doesn’t help matters. It’s just not… fun. Not bad… just boring. Jindrax was awesome, though.

8) Ninja Storm

Another series I had high hopes for. Ninja Power Rangers!? Hell yeah!

Except these guys are extreme sports adrenaline junkies. Good job fucking up that premise! It doesn’t help that this shit focuses more on comical dude bros and humor than any other season of Power Rangers. Most notably in the villain department. Lothor is a shit villain all around. He is treated like a joke throughout the series, getting his nails painted by his nieces, taking over a tv studio because he wants the public to love him, and having this old redneck accent for no discernable reason. And despite all that, he could kick anyone’s ass if he needed! Which is why im annoyed at him getting beaten by Mesogog.

I do like the ninja costumes and powers they display, not to mention some damn good fight scenes, but it’s evident that this series is some focus tested trash. The extreme sports aspect just ruins the show altogether. That said, none of the characters are really irritating (except Lothor’s dumbass nieces). Some of the humor works too, but its just not a good series overall. I’d still recommend it over Dino Thunder though. Vexacus was a better villain for the series.

7) Overdrive

If you need a moment to shit vomit at the thought of Operation Overdrive being put above ye precious Dino Thunder, do so now. Good? Ok. Overdrive is pretty mediocre, but it at least has unique ideas. The treasure hunting aspect and multiple villain factions are pretty damn good ideas for a series that has remained formulaic for a long time. It was pretty fresh.

 The problem is, however, execution. The characters don’t gel very well and the reasons given for their recruitment is bonkers and non-existent. The Anniversary episodes are probably the worst this series has ever had… at least until Mega Force happened. Still, it’s not the absolute worst season, and there’s a few things to like about it, such as the bad luck episode and the Robot Identity Arc. The fearcats are also fucking awesome villains. 

I will say this, though. Dax Lo, the blue Ranger, is the absolute worst Ranger of all time! He is scum of the worst Calibur, and I won’t blame anyone for not wanting his autograph. And these Rangers tend to want to quit a lot, that’s not a good thing. The costumes aren’t bad, but they’re uninspired. They’re basic biker suits if you ask me. And the… “Drive claws” that look like construction shovels? Terrible weapons.

6) Mystic Force

I don’t know any series that makes me feel sorry for characters that have been annoying me other than Mystic Force. This season is a tough nut to crack. The action is amazing, probably the most brutal fight scenes of this whole series, strong supporting characters (fuck yearh phineas!) and another reason why you can’t trust ranger fans. The character of Nick is actually a decent Red Ranger despite his meltdown in the final episode whereby the team gets fucked up and loses almost of their power against a nightmare inducing cthulu. Yeah, I’d probably drown in hopelessness too. 

On the other hand, the suits look like Jolly Ranchers, the villains are aggravating, Genji the genie cat sucks… but  honestly don’t mind. It does feel like some plots drag on for a while (Imperius). But overall, this one is pretty decent. The medieval themes are a turn off, though.

5) Jungle Fury

I think everyone will agree this shit right here will surprise you. With a name and a fucking terrible theme song like Jungle Fury, low expectations are on speed dial. Or maybe that was the idea! Lower our expectations so that we get blown away if we ever bother to watch it!

But yeah, JF is pretty damn good. I’d say it’s more because the villains are so compelling this time around! I could watch this whole series for Jerrod and Camille alone. The main rangers are cool too. RJ (Violet) is too damn cool for this series, Lily’s (Yellow) crazy ass would rape Kira and smear that bitch all over the walls, and Dominique (White). …well, he’s cool too. Casey (Red) and Theo (Blue),  on the other hand… I hate their guts. Casey being an idiot and Theo being a smug son of a bitch throughout the series. They’re unbearable half the time and drag down what is otherwise an enjoyable cast.

The costumes take a long time to get used to as they look like pajamas half the time. They’re supposed to evoke some kung fu motif reminiscent of Bruce Lee, but they come off looking goofy as hell. But dem fights! They didn’t skimp on the choreography this time around, and it shows. the part where Jerrod jumps into the air and does a Shoryuken with his fucking feet on Theo was no short of bad ass!

4) SPD

POWER RANGERS SPD, POWER RANGERS TO THE RESCUE! WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA! 

Ahem. SPD took a while to get good. But when it gets going, it never stops. The characters come off abrasive at first, but never too annoying throughout the series like the Dino Thunder twats. And hell, it’s kind of the idea, take a bunch of assholes & mold them into a solid fighting force… that ends up getting their asses kicked on every occasion. Ofcourse only Jack (Red) & Sky (Blue) needed the attitude adjustment. I know all the women hated Sky outright. 

I can’t stand Doggie Cruger (Shadow) though. He is a terrible judge of character and puts people in positions that they’re clearly not qualified for. Jack being a crook who had no mental evaluation for a leadership position was a terrible idea, shoving 5 people into a single building and forcing them to live with each other, then getting pissed because they don’t enjoy each other’s space so he sends them off to boot camp… absolutely SHITTY move on his part. You mean they don’t have their own homes!? Wouldn’t discount Pamela Anderson (Pink) have a mansion with her rich ass? And of course he takes his anger and frustration out on the team because…. he had a bad dream!? Fuck this overrated blue son of a bitch!

The costumes are more Spiderman than Power Ranger. I liked the Omega Ranger’s design, though. Too bad he gets his ass kicked in every episode. Fight choreography is superb, but I really hate all the random bullet times whenever there’s an explosion. It just takes me out of the action. Still, the story is pretty solid, but that moment when Jack gives Sky his own morpher to get revenge on his father’s killer? That was awesome

Sure wish Z (Yellow) got more focus instead of Bridge (Green). You know what pisses me off, though? How Charlie is the first female ranger… but the fandom doesn’t count her because she was evil? 

3) Dino Charge

Aww man. This was a good one. After the failures of Samurai and Mega Force, Dino Charge was an especially delicious treat! It’s like the producers actually wanted talented actors and good writing for a change. There’s not a single character you could hate, the action is decent from start to finish, and the comedy is on point every time! It’s an almost perfect series… if not for the lackluster plot. Especially in the “Super” half where story arcs feel rushed and incomplete, like the writers lost interest midway through production. And that fucking ending! How anti-climatic is it to go back to the past, kill a weaker villain and bring back the Dinosaurs!? That was stupid! It’s the main reason this season wasn’t higher on my list.

2) RPM

Now this is what Sonic Forces should strive to be! Post Apocalyptic Power Rangers where the machines have nearly wiped out the human race? And despite how dark the concept is, it still has all the levity in the world to maintain it’s “family friendly” demeanor? 

It has a “Mad Max” feel to it, with the rangers constantly racing out into desert wastelands, fending off robot minions who try to off the humans in very menacing ways (like cutting off their air supply in  already toxic landscape). These villains think of some pretty bastard methods of kiling people! 

I kinda like the costumes even if they’re goofy as hell with the giant headlights and all. The fights aren’t as good as in Jungle Fury, but they’re passable. 

A damn good cast, fantastic story, and some unique ideas you will never see in another season. Sure, we have yet another Red Ranger played by a Black guy, but all the attention is on the white guy, just like SPD, but RPM is too good to be a Disney season. It probably would’ve been #1 if…

1) Time Force

…didn’t exist. Yeah, the costumes are shitty, but to craft a series with such a rivoting plot, it smokes RPM in almost every category but comedy. And Wes charging into an army of Cyclobots knowing he’ll die trying to fend them off on his own? Hands down the best damn Red Ranger. And hell, even the Pink Ranger is a badass!

Every episode actually adds to the story instead of being generic filler… ok there was the hollywood and mirror dimension episodes, but overall, you never feel like the story isn’t going anywhere. And the Quantum Ranger just shits…. SHITS on Tommy Oliver! You want a Ranger that actually deserves to be overrated? Look no further than the voice of Vergil from DMC3! 

Time Force is hands down, just amazing. The production values feel more like a movie than a show, and the rangers themselves feel like actual heroes rather than some random retards who play dress up to fight monsters. And the Megazord fights are pretty good too. Namely because they aren’t showing off retarded ass fusions/zord combinations every episode, they just fight!

And that there is mi list. I have no desire to watch Zeo, Turbo, Space, Galaxy, Lightspeed, Samurai, Mega Force, or the new Ninja Steel series that just started. As such, I cannot rate them.

I think I’m all rangered out. Time to find some other unhealthy obsession. I did just watch Dredd recently. 

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