And now it’s time to prove once again why the 90s were simply the best time for video games while the 2000s are a decline.

As I’ve been on this Power Rangers kick thanx to a decent movie that could’ve benefitted from more in-suit fight scenes, I was checking out power Rangers games and found… HOLY SHOT THERE’S ONE ON Wii! Oh… It’s Samurai. 

Samurai is not a favorite of mine. With the exception of Antonio, the main characters are usually dicks or laughibly painful for the sake of being forcibly cheesy. The green samurai remarks “That fish if off the hook!” After a Shark zord takes out some monster or w/e. You can’t force out puns like that and expect people to shit themselves with laughter.

But the games are usually better than the shows (Ninja Storm on gba is proof positive) so I went ahead and checked it out. And… I was right… sort of. It’s a pretty decent game minus the lack of control options where you run around and fuck shit up with samueai swords! Unfortunately,  when you get to the Megazord fights, you get this.

Might have to fast forward a bit.

Hypest gameplay ever, right? Yes, you are witnessing QTEs in a power Rangers game. Similar to Ninja Storm, really. Here’s a Megazord fight from that game.

Goddamn Vids

A game of Simon says/quick draw! The kids would have fun with that along with ugly and clunky visuals! Damn, the GBA sucks ass! Here’s Wildforce.

It’s slightly better, I admit, but it controls like butt and the ridiculous AI never lets up. Hell, even in the new Mega Battle game, we see a dissappointed Dashie as he fights King Sphinx. 😦

Now… in a way, I kinda blame the source material for this new found desire to show off more Megazord Powers than actual fighting. Lets compare a fight from Samurai vs Mighty Morphin and then tell us all which one made you go limp.

Isn’t it obvious!? One is all about showcasing abilities of a specific zord combination while the other is a straight up brawl!? The opponents are going back and forth trading blows while says “LOOK AT HOW AMAZING OUR NEW ZORD COMBINATION IS!” Damn I feel sorry for kids these days, their Megazord fights are all shitty and slow paced.

As a result… Here’s Power Rangers for the SNES.

THAT IS A FIGHTING GAME! Combos and specials and all kinds of shit! Look how awesome that shit is! That is the final boss of a standard action game! Game developers are fuckin up these days! What’s with all these pussy QTEs and slow ass fights? You have a giant robot! You want to be whoopin ass at will!!! About the closest you can get to a bad ass megazord bout is Transformers Devastation. Sideswipe even looks like the Time Force Megazord! Sort of

All this Power Rangers shit makes me feel 6 years old again.  Movie was good too, aside from the Tommy Cameo.