Shit title aside, I must say it’s getting frustrating as any real hard info on these 2 so-called “new” games is more elusive than a DS3 that works longer than 2 months.

The Sonic Panel from last week was not only cringe-worthy to sit through, but gave no real info aside from hastly thrown together bosses, a delay, and a name change. Not to mention a bunch of time wasters like Voice Actor interviews nobody gives a fuck about, the plastic statue we’ve seen months ago, “humorous” videos, and literally no time for Q&A. Almost like they planned that shit. It’s as though they’re becoming too fearful of any backlash they could get, hence the lack of transparency. 

In either case, there’s still nothing to talk about outside of wild speculation for Forces, as Sonic Mania has all but lost my interest and seems to be made for people desperate for Sonic to be great again. The Hardboiled Heavies, in all their unimaginative and unimpressive splendor, are enemies created with a nostalgic touch to make the game feel even more retro and self-indulgent than it already is. And all for what looks like, as Danido put it best, Egg-Robo Reskins.

With all the artwork that’s come out, this is starting to look more like Mega Man 9&10, 2 titles created only to assuage the ego of one Keiji Inafune. Only this time packaged in with more old ass zones. Im pissed beyond belief that they did not touch upon the Zone Ratio of Mania at all. But hey, here’s Flying Battery for all you awesome fans! Now there’s a garbage disposal section!  Fuck yearh! Game got delayed for dat, yo! Iz ya hyped!? Iz ya excited!?

But what gets me is the borderline assurance these assholes have about themselves that borders on pretentiousness. The audacity to get up on these tables and act like clowns for half the panel, trying to put on some “show” and believe people will take any of this BS seriously is insulting. The raphog from 2014 is the perfect mascot for Aaron Weber and his crew. It displays a character who’s fame had diminished greatly, and in order to appeal to the youth of the present, he tries to rap! These days, appealing to the youth of today means trying to be hilarious! Because hell, if President Dump and Tony Stark can both get away with being condescending assholes, then so can Sega. And the reward at the end of all the embarrassing showcases are some posters that are merely used to prove your vanity & worth as a Sonic fan and nothing more.

So what can we discuss about Forces since that is starting to look better than Mania despite all the red flags? Well aside from a moderately decent theme song, it looks no better than Sonic Generation. That honestly isn’t a bad thing as there are people who do infact enjoy this gameplay style, and the lack of a targeting crosshair popping up to indicate you can do a homing attack is a huge plus. This one Zone is reminiscent of Westopolis from Shth with all the flying debris taking the place of those meteors. It doesn’t look nearly as apocalyptic as Sega was hyping it, but it’s better than nothing.

 I am annoyed that wisps have returned and that boosting is once again dependent upon them. There’s no good reason, content or otherwise, to continue using Wisps in any manner. They’re completely out of place here. They were introduced as the gimmick for Sonic Colors, but they were at least the main focus of the game! We don’t even know what thefuck is going on in this title and already bombarded with the realization that Wisp Powers will have to be used to collect red rings for the inevitable fetch quest. 

The only assuring thing is that Forces doesn’t seem like an experimental fuck fest, and they’re utilizing what already works well enough to make the game, even if it is just cramming in recycled gameplay elements from both Colors and Generation. Not a peep about Retro Sonic’s role outside of “it’s just there” screams “just thrown in there for good measure”. 

That’s the one real hope, though. Sega is now back to using elements that made Sonic a unique franchise instead of listening to the Nintards and trying to assimilate Sonic into Mario’s shitty puzzle platforming shtick. Even if it is just narcissistic self-indulgence at this point. Forces at least seems like it wants to be a fucking game, at the very least. But again, I need more to work with.

It’s really hard to count how many “Heavies” there are, as that is supposed to determine how many new zones there will be. I’m guessing five atm. I will say that Act 2 of Green Hill looks nice, even though it’s a 2D variant of the one we got in Generation.