Rotfl. Even dashie isn’t enjoying the Switch.

And here’s a game that excites my sister for no discernable reason. Tetris and Puyo Pop (Or Mean Bean Machine for those who like better sounding names) are having a crossover. Why? I have no idea, but she won’t shut up about it. Apparently there’s about 16 characters, 8 on each side…. this is stupid! What is the point of mixing these 2 games into 1?

 I probably wouldn’t be talkin that shit if Mean Bean Machine was any good. Probably one of the more frustrating puzzle games to have ever been made. Half the time it feels more luck based with garbage dumps randomly dropping in areas that may or may not fuck up your current set ups. Plus there’s the whole requirement of needing to match 4 colors rather than standard 3. Either that or the computer was a cheating bastard… or my sister was a cheating bastard. How she beat that shit way back yonder is beyond me. Tetris is fine, and would be particularly easy to destroy Puyo players as it’s easier to set up lines rather than drop patterns. 

You know what would’ve kicked monumental ass? If they included mother fuckin Panel de pon! Or Pokemon Puzzle League. That was the shit! Unlike most puzzle games, this one was less about luck and more about speed. Call it a non-shitty bejeweled if you will. You have all the freedom to rearrange every block in your space to where you need it to be, and could literally flood your opponent’s space with so much shit, they wouldn’t have time to think. Man, if they included that… the Switch would’ve been an option for me. I’d have my Panel shit, she’d have her Puyo shit… that’s a definite dream match, no pun intended! Oh the wasted potential..

Hell, w/e happened to Panel de Pon? You’d think with Nintendo’s puzzle obsession, they would keep making those games. Or maybe they are and in typical Japanese fashion, hording it for themselves. With the excuse that it wouldn’t sell in the west despite it being familiar territory for these cocksuckers. 

It would’ve made more sense to put Panel de Pon against Puyo Pop as they’re both color matching games from 2 (former) rival companies. Tetris could have been like a bonus for people who know fuck all about the other 2 games.

There’s…. literally nothing out for the Switch to talk about aside from Bomberman. FAST rmx looks good though.

Hurry up March 16.


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