​How did I miss this!? 

A little while back, I was linked to a guy name “Sonic the Ghetto-hog”. Don’t think about the name. It was over a Death Battle of Goku vs Superman and then DK vs Knuckles (which, if you’ve watched it, you would know why I would be pissed with that fight). He pointed out exactly why Knux got jipped in that scrap. Not to mention that Knux’s stupidity is a recent invention, and for the most part was exclusive to the handheld titles. But… that’s all other shit.

So I figured “fuck it, let’s see what else he got”.

And.. I spot this vid.

Fuck me with raddish, that was cringe-worthy! How does he not wish to magically enter his monitor to strangle these ignant crackas!?

All Sonic fans want to have sex with Big the Cat“. Just skip Rouge altogether and go for that fat mother fucker right there!

What’s really sad is… they could get away with shit like that because shittin on this franchise has become… It’s now ingrained. It’s considered normal. If you like Sonic, something is wrong with you! Justin literally says “Sonic has always sucked, if you disagree, you can call the cops”! Like… what do you even say to some shit like that? Oh and this is funny too.

Sonic is something you put up with as a kid because you don’t know that there is another world out there“. That doesn’t even make sense and i’m still offended! Who wouldn’t want to cut the bacon grease off his fat ass? 

So Sonic was just enjoyed by kids who… didnt know any better!? That’s some pretentious shit right there! Just shat on a lot of childhoods in one statement. (Yeah, I know I cant talk) If you wanted to do some dumbass experiment involving how low your jaw could drop, this is required viewing. You’d have to stand in awe of this shit! Just… wow! im literally at a loss for words from that line. Mind blowing, that’s how mind blowing it is, I can’t even think from that shit, fuckin all muh gramer uh-p:;**

Now, a lot of people threw complaints at IGN for sucking at games when they reviewed 06 and Unleased, giving them low scores and what not. I’m thinking “you can’t say that their views have no value based on how good they are at video games”. Cause not everyone has to be good at games just to review them, it’s a logical fallacy the FGC stubbornly clings to. But then they talk this shit about the classics being cumbersome, tedious, and riddled with trial & error, I had to take a step back. I started to wonder if those retorts from back then were true! The classic Sonic games were fuckin easy! Out of all the old school games of the past, this shit was stress free! It was hard to die back in those days. If they talked about the final bosses, then yeah their claims have merit. But overall? What the fuck is wrong with you pasty teabags!? Naw, HD Sonic games are cumbersome, tedious and riddled with trial & error. A baby chick could fuck up every zone on Sonic CD! Oh Amma, this is too much!

And then they go on nut riding Mario games. Its like people hate Nintendo until Sonic gets brought up in a discussion! And naw, imma say it, Mario World is some shit! Shitty aesthetics, shitty worlds, many of which look copy and pasted, shitty music, the super cape is inferior to the raccoon tail or tanuki w/e the fuck it’s called, less powerups than SMB3, no real co-op, and Bowser’s gay ass clown car. But hey, it had Yoshi! So it’s not a total loss!

And shit, it’s like no one has a real opinion on Mario games anymore, they just buy that shit cause it has mario’s fat ass plastered all over the boxes, like Mario’s quality just is and everyone is a part of the religion. This cult-like behavior is disturbing, and I could almost assume that because Sonic was Mario’s competition, the plumber religion dictates that Mario shalt be elavated at the expense of the blue blur! It’s a goddamn feeding frenzy with Sega’s decade long apathy. 

But w/e, this is almost hard to watch, and you can see this guy is almost mind raped by the sheer stupidity these four have shown. Especially Brian with that olskid mark he calls a hair cut. “Trial & error”, just where could they come to such a conclusion? I’m almost inclined to believe the 06 defenders of old when saying these dipshits suck at video games, or they’re high as fuck. Cause they sound like college kids who can’t stop smoking bullshit to make a decent argument. 

And “reeks of werehog“? 

*watches trailer*

*5 more times*

Hello!? Hello Werehog, are you there!? I don’t smell Were ass. Yall smell Were ass!? I don’t know what they be whiffin, maybe dat coke. Or IGN. I’m like him, I can’t fucks wit em.