I would like to know your thoughts on Guilty Gear Xrd

Revelator, and SpiderMan Homecoming.

Ugh, this quote function is buggy as hell… long time no see, mang.

Spiderman, you can already guess. Its just as I predicted. Spiderman’s motivation is tied directly to Iron Man’s approval. It burns my piss!

Keaton is a good choice, but I don’t care about Vulture. Doesn’t seem like the events of Civil War matter here. (Big surprise!). In other words, I refuse to watch any further degradation to Spiderman whereby he is just an extension to Tony Stark’s development. Plus it looks like a hastly thrown together movie as soon as Disney got the license. How many films got pushed back just to make room for Spiderman? Its asinine, no? Too bad the Inhumans won’t be fighting Thanos because Disney loves money.

Now for the real shit. Hooooboy. Unlike y he last time, I decided to pre-order Revelator. Yes omg pre-orders are the devil fuck it. I wasn’t about to drive into a different county for another game. Can’t fault the consumer because the industry wants to be evil.

Anywho, getting the gameplay, unless you’re some SRK nut rider or Japanese, you won’t notice any real changes to the mechanics. So really… its the same damn game. That’s not the problem. The pacing does seem a little faster in this version. If you’re expecting anything more than what you got in Sign, you may be dissappointed.

Normally I wouldn’t care about things like this, but hell even Persona Climax had some updates in the gameplay department (Extra moves, simpler inputs, EX characters) so really… the only excuse they have is LOL NEW ENGINE! And this new version wasn’t cheap. There needs to be further incentive than new characters. 

Speaking of which, you may recall that I had a certain level of paranoia in regards to Sign’s roster being filled with gimmicks. Based off of Blazblue alone and what characters were already available, I had good reason to concerned if matches would devolve into “out-gimmicking” the opponent. Fortunately I had no reason to be paranoid. While the characters had their bullshit, they still played like they belonged in a Guilty Gear game.

Come Revelator… there’s this bitch.

Jack-O, whose only redeeming quality is swinging her big old ass toward the screen, is vintage gimmickry. Her only specials involve flooding the screen with pumpkin armies. Fucking seriously!? All of her normals being cheap, long range attacks just so the devs could pretend that she’s viable outside of her minions. Bitch is a farce. But hey, mission accomplished Aksys, I’m sure this cunt has loads of hentai thanks to the moonings you gave the audience. 

She is joined by 5 other characters. 2 of which were DLC in Sign (while being teased in story mode, jackasses), 2 more being returning characters, and 1 more is… some crow nigga, I don’t know. There are also 2 extra characters, but they are DLC unfortunately. One of them being Dizzy which burns my ass.

My only real incentive for getting this upgrade was because they brought my girl Jam back. Finally, all the characters I use in this series has returned… and she’s pretty bad in this game. Damage? Whats that!? I didn’t plan on massaging these poor bastards. And some of her moves don’t work as well as they used to. One move where she sorta glides across the floor and could get behind the opponent, it feels you have to be really fucking close for that shit to work more often. But eh… she’s still fast as hell. But her face looks weird as fuck now. Like a Barbie Doll with skin tight titties attached.

Never liked Johnny so… blah.

Leo Whitefang I thought was gonna be amazing… and he sort of is. His moves combine 2 things I HATE in a fighting game character. Charge moves and stanches. Luckily since his normals are pretty useful, you don’t need to turtle as much as you would for Street Fighter, but fuck stances. I loathe stances! It’s bad enough I gotta remember the commands of these and what they do, but now I have to remember what mode those moves are performed in!? Fuck out of here with that “must be knowledgeable of this bitch to git guud” BS. Well, he’s cheap enough and powerful as shit to make up that difference, and he looks awesome! But you know what I really found lovable? After whoopin yo ass, dis mother fucker takes out a book and starts reading poetry! Like he needed something poetic to say to such an artistic ass whoopin. Like “Shit! I mutilated yo ass so bad, I need to invent new words to describe it! Lemme get out olwebster here…” Leo’s fucking genius.

Elphelt… ugh. I don’t understand her moveset and I try not to bother. All you need to know is that she’s some fetish monster conceived in the minds of sexually deprived anime fans. Lessee here.

  1. Tig olbitties. Check
  2. Wedding dress. Check
  3. Cat ears because pussy puns are fun. Check.
  4. Addresses the player in wishing for marriage like Iroha from Samurai Shodown. Check.
  5. Insanely pretty face. Check

*sigh* Yeah, I like to say liberal douche shit even though im jerkin off to it. You know it. Why is her hair white? Her shit was red before, wasn’t it?

Well I hope story mode could elaborate in less than half the chapters in the last game!? Da fuq ASW!? In Sign, you’ve this big ass story mode which is like some terribad anime, here you have something far shorter that does nothing to advance the plot, but simply exists to throw cameos In your face. Oh Zappa isn’t possessed anymore? Fuck you too. Baiken shows up, still craving attention, and does jack shit, story mode is one big easter egg/sausage fest. Nothing happens except they killed off the black girl. Ramlethal? Yeah. That’s it. That’s all that really happens of importance. 

Not just that, but there be a damn good reason I had to suffer through cameo fanservice entirely in Japanese audio! Yeah, there’s no English dub. I guess Guilty Gear fans are just as batshit insane as any other anime fandom when concerning dubs. I’ll be upfront. I miss Venoms English voice. He was one of the few decent actors in Sign, whoever he was. But… if that’s the price of not having to hear Johnny Young Bosch, tis worth it. But still, there’s the matter of consistency that’s been ignored if it were to appease those crazy ass anime fans. I’m sure it’s a budget issue, but how much you wanna bet the next Blazblue will get a dub? Matter of fact… does that forth have a dub? Anyone?

The shorter story mode and lacking dub makes the game feel that much smaller than Sign. Persona Climax literally had more to offer over it’s Arena counterpart. I ask why not the same level of commitment here? This is Guilty Gear for fuck’s sake! I might as well have bought another copy of Rayman Legends. 

If it means anything, the redesigned stages look a helluva lot better than in Sign… except Nightmare Theater. Dude they fucked this place up! NT from Sign was literally the creepiest background in any fighting game produced! Second only to that fetus in Darkstalkers 3. NT was just eerie, and it really had more to do with that movie playing in the background, the morbid music… in this game, these mother fuckers turned it into a desert. A fucking desert!! What the fuck does a goddamn desert have to do with NIGHTMARES!? Asinine bullshit ass changes for the sake of!! Nightmare Theater was just fine! Didn’t need to be fixed! 

Ugh… so the only real improvement was… more varied palettes for characters… I guess. I was truly dissappointed with this game. Sign had  room for improvement and relevator was supposed to be that fix, they did nothing as far as I’m concerned. It feels less than a goddamn spinoff! That’s the real insult. It’s as though they had no real faith in this game, let alone the franchise. Because Blazblue is just so. much more popular. Fuck that series. Guilty Gear deserves better.