Well, it’s nice to know that not even Pokemon is safe from Nintendo’s… you know I can’t even call it creativity, this is the laziest looking pokemon game yet. They go back and change old pokemon’s typings for no reason other than ease, they remove gym battles (but they keep evil teams, goddamn it all!) and even the trailers lack interest in the games. They’re just bland infomercials with a list of features, not something that actually makes you want the games.
Showing me 10 seconds of 4 new pokemon using recycable moves isn’t exciting. Showing me NPC’s who will be forgetable isn’t exciting. Shit, the names alone lack “umph”. “Sun and Moon”? How unoriginal can you get, Ninty? The only fun thing about the version names is the acronym. And the professor looks like a bootleg kanye west?

Something is wrong here. The game feels awkward and it’s changes are completely arbitrary. They’re not even trying. Seems that after Black & White, they’re just phoning this series in. I had a feeling that 6th and 7th gen pokemon games were coming out a lot earlier than usual, and hell, 6th gen skipped a third version entirely! I had heard the Ruby and Sapphire remakes were a failure (don’t take my word for it), so I don’t know. Maybe they’re panicking? Just shoving out new pokemon games hoping to sell as fast as possible? Just make Pokemon Go 2 and put Johtomon in that bitch! Overnight success!
I really think this is where the series might jump the shark. Going back and retooling old pokemon into different types is the laziest design choice they could do. The regions are getting smaller (Fucking Hawaii!?) and for some reason, the Pokedex is a goddamn Rotom form. All this because now GF wants to focus on cliched “little kid saves the world” stories involving the evil teams. Cause you know, people buy into Pokemon for the one-dimensional badguys that exist solely to pad out the pre-game nonsense.
You know why that’s stupid? NO EXTRA SAVE FILES!!! What’s the fucking point of trying to enjoy a story if you can’t experience it multiple times!? You know what you CAN enjoy multiple times? GYM BATTLES! But… OH NO! You take those out in favor of…  Gym Trials!?!? Oh lemme guess. One “Trial Leader” will send you on a FETCH QUEST through a cave or some shit to find a macguffin, but before you can return with it in hand, you get intercepted by the evil team and have to fight those assholes off before going back to the Gym. I know yo game, Nintendo! You’ve been pullin that shit in Zelda so often, I’ve got yo scent!! I will bet my balls that this is going to happen on a few occassions in these new games.
*sigh* They keep the evil teams but remove gym bat… I-I can’t even believe the stupidity!!! What!? Is Nintendo now thinking that Pokemon battles are too competitive and wish to push pokemon away from that direction!? Are they being harrassed by PETA!? J-Just why would you remove the core boss battles from the game!? …But you keep the evil teams, what the fuck…
Maybe it’s that damn Yokai Watch competition messing with their heads. Hell, if you ask me that fire kitty looks like a Yokai reject.
Speaking of which, why not deliver an LBX2!?

Advertisements