It should be no surprise that I frequent Siliconera for gaming news on occasion. Lately, I think I need a new hotspot as the site is bogged down with RPG news like a bad habit. And stupid screenshots of Smash Bros. 4 like anyone gives a rats ass. Goddamn Samus’s new high heels are hideous.

I’ve read that there is an RPG where… you literally fuck your classmates and make babies… as a means of adding more party members. There is really a company that wishes to capitalize off of Dittos being used for sex. I think it was called “conception 2” and I’m stunned that there was a previous installment. Horrible moral implications and all. There was a line of dialogue I remember being “I am honored to receive your blessing to reproduce with your sister” and I’m already done.

Another RPG has the main heroine “kiss” the enemies as a means of defeating them… which makes no sense unless the Japanese wanted to be “clever” with the whole “love your enemies” kind of deal.

Just read now that there’s this new shit called “Omega Quintet” where you’re playing as 5 Japanese idols out to save the world….. by singing.

Japan is taking “jailbait” to an uncomfortable extreme.

I’m at a point where I must agree with Alfred Khan’s sentiment that “Japan is over”. With all the RPG news that I’m flooded with on this site, it’s safe to say that Japan is a creatively bankrupt country. And I use that term loosely. There are so many RPGs with terrible concepts as of this moment. You have to wonder what’s going their minds as they create these trite ass concepts.

I don’t know if there were any bizarre ass concepts back during the 80s, 90s and so forth, but for the most part, RPGs had real down to earth concepts. Many of them were inspired by medivel fantasy and in some cases, science fiction IE monsters like Shin mega…. ten shit, w/e the fuck the name is. I think it was around the 90s where RPGs started taking more inspiration from Japanese anime and had more wilder concepts like giant swords and emo teenagers. Ever since FF7 (yes yes), everyone tried to emulate it’s success by copying the “Emo teen hero” stock, cause I remember JRPG heroes having some actual balls until this game where they all started turning into giant eyed pretty boys. Even then, RPGs maintained a sense of “interesting ideas” (I’ve actually Baroque on the Saturn. That sho is some freaky shit.)

I don’t think it was until that damn Haruhi show that RPGs started taking a nose dive into mediocrityville with incredibly terrible ideas. Many of them involve amnesia like a bad habit. Some even take awesome series like Mega Man X and turn them into crappy moral stories of “friendship”. These are fuckin robots for pete’s sake!

Zelda, you already know. Xenoblade is… iffy. It starts off with a decent concept of 2 giants fighting against each other and a guy’s quest for revenge against oversized robots, but turns into some strange “god complex” where the main character was a vessel for the true villain who created this world by accident…ehg. Pandora’s Tower where some girl has to eat hearts so as to delay and lift a curse (even though she’s vegetarian), turns out the curse doesn’t go away and is instead a possession by a spirit who was originally used in experiments regarding war weapons, Persona 4 where someone’s shadow become’s their personal Pokemon…… So many RPGs get jumbled up with their ideas that even good ones tend to fall apart by the time you get to the end. The ones that are even consistent with their ideas are rare and not usually that much better. Fire Emblem Path of Radiance had an interesting universe where humans and beast-like beings live in racial dis-harmony, but they fuck this concept up in the sequel where there’s the presence of God’s and Demons and apparently magical lolis.

The biggest reason why RPGs are so unappealing nowadays is more than just the tedious ass combat which nerds think is “great” because you waste time in inventory management hell, allocating stat points to confusing and useless skills, but even the content is a turn off. And these days, it’s just… getting… worse.  Now we have RPGs with combat based off teen romance! And BAKING BREAD!

Does this shit look fun to you!?

Ironically, it seems to be the only area Nintendo accels at currently.