Reading this compels me to find one.

Idk.. uh… Sonic Doomed? Sonic Gloom? Sonic Bust? Sonic Bomb? Ah! I got it! Sonic Womb!

…….You know? Cause this sounds like an abortion? ……..Ah, fuck it. I’ll think of it later. Man, there are so many interviews lately. The game was only announced like… what? Last month and there’s already about 7 at most. We had the hour long video about 3 crackas talking about nothing but how awesome Frost is. Hoping this one won’t be a waste of time.

Hero of Legend: So Stephen Frost, as I already listened to the SEGABits interview just published about you, you’ve already said a lot about yourself, but just for readers here who haven’t heard that interview (and should right now!), would you like to give a brief introduction about yourself and talk about past experiences and such? I’d also like to hear about you as well Kellie Parker. I haven’t heard much about you, so take this opportunity to talk about yourself and your experiences at and prior to Sega.

Stephen Frost: Well, for those who haven’t heard about me, and I assume that most have not; I’ve been a producer at SEGA for almost eight years now. I’ve worked on a variety of titles ranging from the Sega Genesis Collection to Universe at War to some of the Marvel titles and Shinobi on 3DS.

I started in game development at a studio called Dynamix in Eugene, Oregon and eventually moved to California to work at Imagine Media. There, as Webmaster, I helped to build the foundation of what would eventually become The Imagine Games Network (IGN) before eventually jumping over to launch PSM: 100% Independent PlayStation Magazine.

Around seven years later, the desire to return to game development was too strong, so I jumped at the chance to join the team at Electronic Arts, where I worked on such titles as Armies of Exigo, Ty the Tasmanian Tiger 2 and Oddworld: Stranger’s Wrath. From there, I had a brief stint at an Activision studio (Z-Axis), working on some Marvel superhero properties before hanging my production hat at my current home at SEGA, where I’m now fully focused on Sonic Boom.

Kellie Parker: I’ve been working in online community for 15 years. I got my start on the IRC network TalkCity, which became a company called LiveWorld. While at LiveWorld, I worked on message boards and live online chats for many companies, including HBO, Showtime, Food Network, A&E, Intel, eBay, Slim-Fast, and MSNBC. I left LiveWorld to become the community manager for PC World and Macworld magazines, and after a few years there, I joined SEGA where I am the Senior Community Manager. I’ve been at SEGA for 5 and a half years now, and it’s been an amazing experience.

Oh Amma. It’s not even a minute in and it already sounds like a Nintendo Direct interview. Frost was involved with creating IGN? Well, now it’s confirmed that this project is really doomed. Who in the hell would trust Sonic in the hands of people who were involved with that cesspool of lies?

I wonder how many people had their hopes rise when these guys talked about their resumes of past projects such as Oddworld and Shinobi 3DS? I think after Sonic Chronicles and Star Fox Assault, you can’t trust a person’s past work as an indicator of a successful. I do have to question Kellie Parker’s “amazing experiences”. Last I checked, Sega employees absolutely despised working at Sega. Unless she’s in the European branch which I highly doubt.

HoL: I’ve been very curious about who exactly is the exact character design of Sonic and company here? I have my beliefs it’s Bob Rafei as he’s had a history of character design work at Naughty Dog (I believe he worked on designing Jak and Daxter themselves, please correct me if I’m mistaken) and he has indeed addressed himself as one in the recent interviews about Sonic Boom.

SF: The development of the main characters in Sonic Boom was a joint collaboration between Big Red Button, OuiDo Productions, Sega and Sonic Team. We definitely pulled a lot from Bob’s past experience as a character designer but a lot of people had input into the final designs you see today. Given all the different mediums that the characters will appear in (games, cartoon, toys, etc.), it was important to make sure that the character designs met the needs of each of those.

Well, it probably only met the needs of the cartoon. I’m not quite sure how well Sonic merchandise sells. I still see loads of unsold Sonic plushies lying around my job. Or maybe those prices are too jacked up to sell at all, understandably cheap ass customers and all.

It just seems really bonkers that they think the character designs would do well on a video game with an established fanbase that isn’t growing anytime soon, and will be ultimately diminished if this series becomes permanent for the west. Seeing as OuiDo also had input raises some eyebrows. Now it’s like all these different companies just didn’t know what the hell to do with these characters and decided to slap whatever they thought was “adventurous” onto them. If Sonic Team despises the designs, they probably had less input than what Frost is letting on. Can’t see why OuiDo would benefit from screwing up Knuckles’s design, though. I figured they were just there for the animation work in the cartoon.

HoL: You (Stephen) spoke about the composers not being set in stone, but I am curious if perhaps you’ll lean towards Sonic Team veterans like Jun Senoue, or maybe perhaps work with composers who are familiar to the people at BRB who worked at Naughty Dog and Insomniac prior, such as Mark Mothersbaugh and Josh Mancell who worked on Crash Bandicoot and Jak & Daxter, or perhaps David Bergeaud and others who worked on the Ratchet & Clank series?

SF: At this time, we are not talking about the soundtrack or the musicians involved in the game. We should have more details at E3, though.

Well that’s an oddly bold way to say “I can’t discuss this right now or I might get fired.” What kind of response is that? Music isn’t such a big ass secret to keep until you get to the Electronic Gaming Expo. Most people don’t care about music until or unless they play the game. Or hear about it online.

Idk, the way he phrased his answer irked me. If the guy didn’t have any details yet, he could’ve just said so.

HoL: I am actually also really interested in knowing more about the names of people at Big Red Button involved with the game, more specifically just how many people who worked at Naughty Dog and Insomniac because of the key folks from the companies are known to be working on this game. I’ve done my own research about this and have found some interesting results.

I’m a dedicated researcher, I love knowing who works on games and what they’ve done before. Knowing just who’s behind a game can really generate a lot of anticipation and confidence that the game is in fantastic hands, in my opinion. And so far some really amazing people have been seen to be working on Sonic Boom.

SF: Well, I would like to be respectful of all the team members and not mention them by name, but there is definitely a lot of talent at Big Red Button. We’ll be sure to put as many of them in the spotlight as possible as we get further along with the project. However, at a management level, we have folks who have worked on such franchises as Crash Bandicoot, Jak & Daxter, Uncharted, True Crime, Shrek, God of War, PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale, Ghostbusters and Simpsons, to name a few.

This guy’s really not answering a damn thing, is he? You’re better off licking shit out of a dog’s ass than getting dirt from Frosty the Silent.

HoL: I’d like to ask about the 3DS version of the game. I understand Sanzaru Games is behind this version and they’re most well known to have carried the torch of the Sly Cooper series from Sucker Punch. I’d like to know if this version will be for example a 3D platformer as well, also if maybe it will have it’s own style, like maybe it could be cel-shaded like Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time as they made just prior, similar to how the Wii U version is very similar in style to Jak & Daxter.

SF: At this time, we aren’t talking about…..

There he goes with that “we aren’t talking about” shit again. I don’t know about you 3 folks, but I’m starting to think mother fuckers just don’t know how to talk to people anymore. If you are trying to keep things on the low down, don’t agree to go to any fucking interviews! Looking at your resume of positions, you should know mother fuckers are starved for info since there’s hype being generated about how this is the YEAR OF SONIC! But hell, you already dropped dimes on why the characters were changed and crappy novelties no one asked for like the tether system, you can’t do much worse than give info on how the 3DS version will be aside from just “different”. I mean damn!

HoL: Again about the 3DS version, is it likely to feature some connectivity with the Wii U version? Sonic Lost World already did so I personally wouldn’t be surprised if it did.

SF: The 3DS game will have some connectivity with the Wii U but details of that have not yet been announced.

You could just spit it here. THEN it can be announced! Unless Sanzaru is keeping info from you.

HoL: Also, as a fan of platformers that allow you to just relax and look around to your heart’s content, I’ve always been a huge fan of freely movable cameras, whether it’s just to swing 360 degrees around a character, or even as a first-person view to look up into the sky or down to your feet

You might have bad taste, bud.

is there a camera system like this in place so fans can look at the pretty environments from anywhere? Sonic Lost World and also the three Sonic games prior at least (Unleashed, Colors, Generations) did not have this at all or extremely minimally, but the Sonic Adventure games, especially the first really used this very well, and it was sorely missed.

Uh… sorry Hero of Legend, but no one misses Adventure’s shit ass cameras. If I had a dime for the amount of times that bitch got stuck when I tried to look around for that damn 3rd emerald….

HoL: Bob Rafei mentioned to The Guardian about there actually being 2D gameplay in the game. Is this more or less like Classic Sonic again, or is it actually more like the 2D sections in Crash Bandicoot? Also how much of them are there in the game? I would think the game is very much mostly 3D, hopefully with only a few 2D bits sprinkled in, just my personal opinion.

SF: As with most Sonic titles, where there is generally a mix of 3-D and 2-D-based gameplay. Sonic Boom will be no different. Given the focus on exploration of this new world for Sonic, we generally wanted to focus on 3-D. However, given our desire to deliver a “familiar but new” experience, you can bet that elements like the 2-D-based gameplay will certainly show up, but maybe with a few twists.

Huh… so that’s what… 8 interviews?

I’m insulted by Frost’s claim that putting in a camera perspective will be “familiar but new”. Course for all we know, he’s probably not referring to “2D sections” but little cute shit from the old 2D games like Lost Mind’s cannons from Oil Ocean Zone.

A familiar but new experience would be Sonic 4 Episode 2. A game that, while still being a poor imitation, feels damn near close to a Sonic game people are familiar with, but is still generally new enough to stand out. Sonic Boom sticks out worse than Lost Mind. Instead of poorly imitating the look of Sonic while implementing the play of Mario, Boom implements the look of Sony’s big 3 platformers with the PLAY of All 4 One! At the moment, I fail to see ANY inspiration that came from any Sonic game at this point.

HoL: Are you able to give a detailed enough idea on what the characterizations of Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy will be? People are wondering if Knuckles will be on the less-than-intelligent side and if Amy will still go cuckoo for Sonic for instance? Tails is also in question as some are wondering if he’s going to be snarky as it were? (some point out his facial expressions art) Also curious if the brotherly bond between Tails and Sonic will be developed on.

SF: I am certainly aware that the characterizations for Sonic and team are a big discussion point amongst the fans out there. We know it’s important and we spent a lot of time working out how these characters should behave and act. It’s obviously key to be true to their original designs, but we also need to balance them out a bit, while accenting certain personality traits so that folks not too familiar with Sonic can quickly and easily understand who these characters are and what they’re like. This is the same philosophy that influenced the overall visual character designs for the characters. With Amy, for example, we aren’t really meaning that she is a strong, independent and acrobatic character only in Sonic Boom. She has been that way in other games. In Sonic Boom, though, these aspects of her character will really be emphasized in the story and gameplay in order to make it clear to everyone that this is how she is.

More proof of his Amy fanboyism. He asks a question for ALL characters and specifically if Knuckles is going to go full retard…. and this teabag asshole goes on about Amy’s abilities exclusively. It’s like Christopher Nolan who went all out to characterize the philosophies behind Batman and his rogues, these people care too fucking much about emphasizing her abilities.

Honestly, Amy being acrobatic in a franchise where Blue Hedgehogs can turn Yellow and KILL GODS AND DEMONS, and destroy armadas of warships in a matter of seconds…. is not impressive! Children and girls in particular are going to be disappointed at Amy’s lackluster abilities unless they decide to turn her into… fucking Batman or whatever. I…I really think they’re going to nerf Sonic, Tails, and Knux just to express how important Amy is to the team.

They’re not even trying to fix the broken parts.

HoL: People are wondering where the idea of the Enerbeam came from? It’s certainly a new concept for the series.

SF: The original concept for the Enerbeam came from the general idea of us wanting a physical manifestation of the friendship between the main characters, something that connected them all together in a visual way.

I am seriously trying to resist the urge to scream gay. Why in the hell are you putting animu concepts into a western exclusive game!?

Now that I think about it, the Enerbeam sounds like a concept taken from Power Rangers or even Digimon, where the kids…sorry, “characters” find some ancient relics to save the world from the forces of evil. That’s what it’s starting to sound like, and is DEFINITELY a concept of CHILDREN’S shows. Sounds more like Sonic Underground where the children of the queen had medallions to summon instruments and play like a band to destroy the forces of evil. Ugh… I am so mad that Knuckles had to appear in that trash heep of a cartoon.

Can’t believe I actually found this issue.

It plays a role in all major aspects of the game, including navigation, combat, and interaction with the world, but is designed to enhance the gameplay, not detract from it. The uses for the Enerbeam are built to be fun and, again, build upon the character-specific abilities that each character has.

That is not a good thing. Gimmicks have done more harm to Sonic as people always felt tied to using them in order to progress (even in Shadow). Seriously, it’s needed for navigation!? Can’t Tails just whip up some map… computer shit?

Yeah, yeah, I get it. Different universe, different qualities, that jazz.

HoL: Is there teamwork in gameplay?

…….I would think that kind of info would’ve been obvious considering all the hype about “synergy” or some wild shit.

we have what I prefer to call “working as a team” but it isn’t really like either of those two games. Our teamwork dynamic is a bit more organic than what is found in Sonic Heroes or SA3.

Wow, he thinks an SA3 actually exists. Way to go, Facebook.

You aren’t hitting a button to have another character come over and perform a team-based attack, for example. Something like that doesn’t really work in a co-op setting since we wouldn’t want to take control away from the other player. It’s more like actually, physically working together. So, in combat, for example, maybe there is an opening that both characters would need to take advantage of at the same time to damage an enemy. Or, maybe there are navigational challenges that would require both players to work together in order to get past.

Forced Coop Actions confirmed. I’ve had enough of that shit in All 4 One. Great. Insomniac has a chance to fix Sonic, and they choose their least appealing Ratchet game as a blueprint for fucking gameplay!

Forced Coop Actions DO take control away from the players, btw. Any segment that requires specific actions like attacking an enemy at the same time or needing to do something “in harmony” to get by an obstacle takes away player choice and experimentation. When people have the FREEDOM to do as they please to get passed an obstacle, the game becomes more organic, dynamic. FUN! But limiting the player to specific patterns equates to WORK. Ratchet and Clank is considered a fun series (a sentiment I highly agree with), so why do so many people despise All 4 One? Well, ok, it IS the kiddiest game in the franchise, no doubt about that, but the gameplay department feels more like work than anything enjoyable. Coop games really work when both players can enact their own strategies for solving problems. It makes the players feel smarter or clever enough to get through the game by their own natural and genuine smarts. Not some factory made scripted process you have to perform just to get through the game.

I suppose this is one of the perks of FPS’s again. Lack of bullshit like F.C.A.’s (could you imagine having to do something in unison with all the reduced visual information you’d have at hand!?)

HoL: We’ve seen most of the characters show their trademark abilities, but so far we haven’t seen Sonic perform a Spin Dash or seen Knuckles Glide, will they have these abilities? Also in terms of combat could Tails perhaps use his tails to whack things again? They’ve been out of the combat field since Sonic Adventure 2, and that was in the Chao Garden!

SF: While we have not yet revealed all the character-based abilities, what you have seen in the announcement trailer does reflect a decent number of them. We definitely want to include as many classic abilities and attacks for each of the main characters, as possible, but some of them would not be useful or work properly in the game we are building.

Translation: Yeah, Sonic, Tails, and Knux are gettng nerfed. But Amy will be just so fuckin awesome!

SF: As a final thought, I just want to thank all the fans out there who have gotten involved in forum discussions, created artwork and sent me comments. It’s great to read and see everything you all have been doing in relation to Sonic Boom. Please keep it up. I love the passion and excitement….

Bitch please. Ain’t no excitement goin around on forums beyond the desire for the game to bomb.

I’ve never read such an asshole interview since I stopped reading Nintendo crap. So many questions dodged, so many fears confirmed, and not even a musician mentioned. So much “we ain’t talkin, bitch!” remarks, it’s almost too funny to be pathetic.