So, it’s been a few months. Nintendo started adding REAL characters into the game. I don’t really care about Rosalina as having a 3rd princess character isn’t my cup of tea (and I can’t stand Mario Galazy). Initially, I thought Little Mac was a good addition. He’s a boxer, and boxer’s are cool in fighting games. I wasn’t a big fan of the Punch Out games, but at least Nintendo’s digging around for something ballsy to put in Smash Bros. That Rosalina trailer made me limp. Little Mac looks like someone who could kick your ass, though. Look at dat stance, dis mother will rock yah!

I do hate the idea of Little Mac being a “gimmick” character, being that he has to build up so sort of meter to do one hit KOs. I don’t see the logic behind this move as dealing damage was never a problem in Smash Bros where a simple smash attack would do the job fine and would probably turn the character into a whiffer/staller or what not. Gimmick characters usually don’t fare very well on the tier lists (cept Shun Di from VF I think). Usually, the gimmicks these characters have become more of a hindrance than an asset. Lucario can’t do anything more than tickle his opponents unless he gets his ass beat, and as far as I can tell, no one likes this kind of gameplay in any fighting game whether it be Samurai Shodown or even Street Fighter 4 with the Hyper Combo system coming under fire. I see the meter building as a pointless feature. Or possibly an abusable one where everyone will cry foul at how cheap Mac is.

I still can’t find anything that draws me into Smash 4. All the news that comes out are new screen shots and news of old returning characters, Marth gets more womanly looking as the series goes on, and visually speaking, the game looks like it caters to kids more than having a broader audience. I question why Brawl was ever rated Teen and pray it had nothing to do with Snake’s ass. So far, the game looks like Brawl V.2 with crappy new characters and one ok-ish character with a gimmick while they have the gall to redesign returning characters in styles that offend fans (Samus being designed around her Other M design is a blatant middle finger). The stages are bland, and the game feels like it’s going to be less about fanservice and more about Nintendo’s history.

You look at Smash Bros., you see it as a crossover between Nintendo’s coolest characters duking it out. The first advertisement mentioned “Mario pounding Pikachu!?”. It was a crazy concept, but it was awesome. The problems started coming in when Nintendo started adding more obscure or lame characters into the series (Ice Climbers, Pikmin, ROB and Game and Watch). Not because they were fan favorites, but because they were preferred by the game’s directors. Oh sure, we let that slide because Sonic vs Mario HELL YEAH, but over all the package felt like it had no direction. Even though Brawl had all these nifty features like a stage builder, match recording, online features, and a giant story mode, it feels… smaller than Melee. I guess because Melee was such a big step above the original title in every way imaginable, Brawl had big shoes to fill. And it’s clear that they failed.

The game felt less like a Smash Bros. game and veered more toward pretension. It felt like it tried to prove it was a “cool” game, with all the movie-like cutscenes and “epic soundtrack” composed of chorus and orchestrated classical tunes. I can’t stand it when Japanese people use orchestrated music in their games because not only does orchestrated music suck, but it also is usually a sign that the Japanese are starting to think of themselves as “higher” than others. You look at Sonic games that started incorporating orchestrated music (06, Colors, Unleashed, Lost Mind) and it’s a sign that Sega was getting arrogant. Smash Bros was a game about Mario pounding Pikachu and here it is trying to prove that it’s this “epic celebration of Nintendo’s history” with Pit being used as some sort of Jesus image. The assist trophies were also apologetic nonsense for all the fan requested characters they rejected, but they found Toon Link, Olimar, and ROB as more appropriate fillers for character slots. Lyn from Fire Emblem or Ray Mk3 from Custom Robo, I would’ve LOVED to see as playable characters. They’re interesting and cool, and little Mac should’ve been playable in Brawl. But no, Nintendo’s vanity is first priority!

The first few trailers of Smash 4 don’t convince me otherwise that Nintendo’s changing their direction. Sure, the Mega Man trailer was awesome, but every other trailer shows that Nintendo’s head is so far up their ass. They even made Sonic look uncool.  There’s even an item from Skyward Sword (that stupid little beetle) as an item, and we’ve got more news about assist Trophies then we do new characters that are worth a damn (I’m sure the Ashley fans are pissed off again). The main deterrent I feel is that the game will not have improved physics from Brawl. People had to hack the game just to make it fun, and that should be unacceptable. My biggest question is why the 3DS version looks so damned ugly in comparison to the Pii U version. According to the nerds of the fandom, the 3DS can produce HD visuals, yet we have these faux cel-shaded visuals going on. And then we get to the stages. Pilot Wings, copy/pasted battlefield, Other M level, Skyward Sword level (stolen from Project M, btw), spirit tracks level, ugh. I never cared that much about levels from Smash Bros. as they’re just little fields you fight on, but you could really do well by choosing cooler looking environments. The Other M level is fine though, but choosing from Sonic’s Lost Mind for a level is pouring salt on an open wound.

It’s like the game was designed to piss me off. And funny enough, I don’t see many forum outlets discussing the game much. Maybe it’s just not appealing to anyone.

 

 

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