(Random thoughts) I wonder if RE5 being Capcom’s best selling game is because of some inherent desire for crackas to kill Africans without getting in trouble for it. Yeah, I went there.

See, now I can’t get those blue arms out of my mind, thanks alot Rarame!

I’m a little shocked that a response to a comment generated 700+ views. Not so much shocked that people are being apologetic towards shitty character designs. “BUT TALK ABOUT THE GAME ITSELF! NOT THE CHAWACTAHS!

Honestly speaking, Sonic Boom in it’s entirety looks unimpressive. As I’ve noted previously, the only real fun parts are where the characters are all running down this one path with the colored light trails. That looks pretty cool.

This = fun!

The problem is when the developers discuss that these elements will only be roughly like… 10% of the whole game at best.  I’m reading the interview and they’re swearing up and down that the game is going to less about the fun looking parts and more about work. “”This game is not just about speed.”” could translate to “don’t expect to run around often. Hell, it might take you hours to do what you want again”.

This = Work

The above screenshot represents Bullshit. I’ve been spoiled by Generations (sans puzzle planet) and Sonic 4 E2 in that there was no bullshit. Colors was arguably bullshit free. Lost Mind looks like bullshit overall. And one of the first few screenshots shows this game is going to be loaded with bullshit. In the trailer, I can see Sonic is using homing attack on some orbs or what not. Possibly switches as western devs like using balls to represent switches. 

There’s one part where Knuckles is climbing the underside of a cliff or w/e. Why can’t he just glide to his destination? Oh right, he’s too fat and heavy to do that anymore! He (nor Tails) could stop themselves from falling several stories to the ground just to show how “cool” Amy is. Yeah, dat bitch be a Mary Sue. Please refrain from pointing out ow Sonic 06 did the same thing because then you’d be implying that Sonic 06 has merit.

Tails gets no real screentime but I assume he’ll serve a role similar to Bentley from Sly Cooper. The un-fun parts are usually kept out of the trailers to remove all doubt that 100% of the game is actually good. Tails is damn near irrelevant asside from shooting some twin laser beam.

Sonic, as usual, gets the best parts. Running across large pools of water like a boss, zipping through the skys on a pulley, etc. But the other characters have lame, slow trotting portions of the game, most of all AMY who shows off her “grace” by taking Sonic’s moves from SA2 (swinging on horizontal poles). 

It feels like the game is going for novelty’s sake while injecting loads of bullshit into the mix

That should come as no surprise. Naughty Dog veteran Bob Rafei, the dev behind the horrendous Jak and Daxter series, is working on this. And he knows how to bullshit gamers with completely unnecessary and tedious missions for you to perform. Course, that was only with Jak 2. This game seems to be going the route of Jak 1.

“It’s a classic structured game, so we have the critical path, and part of our project pillars, among many, was to make sure that it’s accessible to new fans. So we want you to be able to finish the game but for fans who want more, you will have to find the additional, the secondary paths and all the hidden secrets.”

This means the game will be PISS EASY. And the replay value equates to another goddamn fetch quest. The real challenge comes ALL AFTER THE FACT!

This is the single most irritating aspect of video games, particularly of the “platformer franchise” curse, that just won’t die. The game is going to be far too easy to progress through, so in order to waste time and extend game life, you pretty much have to bullshit yourself. Going through these “optional territories” as a means of “fun made easy”. Instead of creating a main game that is a buttload of fun, the game is made to coddle people instead. I hate shit like this in games where the main game is shallow and easy while the REAL game is in time wasting elements.

And there’s so many games that do this. Mostly the collectathon platformers that have become so popular amongst developers (Nintendo especially). 

Exploration in video games were about increasing your chances of survival or finding an alternate path to your goal. Not just some random areas you take a break from the main game for just to essentially “waste time”. Games are already a waste of time themselves. Running around doing random shit that doesn’t really contribute to your entertainment or real productivity is wasting your time. The only people that play games to essentially waste their time are the nerds. Why do you think they keep demanding more RPGs? The quintessential time wasting genre ever?

Sonic 3 is an example of exploration contributing to productivity. You find “optional” hidden areas that might have bonus rings, power ups, or warp rings to take you to special stages to earn chaos emeralds. All of this contributed to your prolonged survival and increase in power (Super Sonic). I don’t get the sense that Sonic Boom will have that kind of exploration and will just have some lame fetch quest involved for 100% completion or something. Probably to unlock some gallery items like concept art, music, possible interviews, you know, all the bullshit you can find on the internet. The problem is you know damn well you HAVE to find these “hidden secrets” just to unlock silly gallery items. They’re not really secrets anymore but rather time wasters to extend game life because the main game is just… not…. good enough.

I always fear when developers talk about “emphasis on combat” in video games. It means fights are going to be tedious little “strategies” in which enemies have to be beaten in certain scripted patterns. And we’ve been through Sonic Heroes to know that shit just isn’t fun. Sonic games should only emphasize combat when it comes to boss battles, not regular enemy grunts. 

Another aspect is the forced coop actions. The devs speak of the game being more about team work which I’m sure is a euphemism for more work than necessary. I’ve noticed that developers that say “there will be coop play” and add nothing more, the coop play is much more fun. But when developers talk indepth about coop like “synergy”, shit will not be enjoyable.

Sonic Boom will also emphasize cooperation among the characters.

If there is an emphasis on coop, the element will more than likely have forced actions that 2 or more players have to perform just to progress. That screenie with Sonic and Amy is just a taste.  

Then, we get to the environments, all of which look incredibly bland and generic when compared to…. fucking Sonic Colors.

Jak and Daxter

Jak and Daxter

Ratchet and Clank

The trailer featured some landscape with purple glowing spots that looks more like the Black Comet from Shadow the Hedgehog more than anything. They’re not impressive in the slightest. 

In the interview, it was stated that the game would feel like Sonic. These environments say otherwise. Do any of those worlds feel like Sonic to you? Perhaps if you born after 96 and your first entries where the adventure games, you wouldn’t see the problem. Sonic worlds weren’t so horribly generic until Iizuka got involved in the series. Sonic lived in a techno dreamworld. Surreal, neon, sharp looking worlds. Fuck, Lost Mind looks more like Sonic than this game does.

Well… maybe more like Ristar, but close enough.

Looks a little like Botanical Base from Knuckles Chaotix.

Granted, the game is an insult to Sonic and Nintendo fans in general. But there is the semblance of a scheme to attract classicfags to the game.

After Sonic Heroes, Sonic games haven’t felt like Sonic games, and that’s particularly due to environments going for the realistic approach for Amma knows what reason. The environments in boom are just… “cartoony”. It makes sense in a way, it’s a tie in to a cartoon, but if they’re talking about veteran fans liking this (and being oh so sure about it), then they have failed to impress. With environments AND character designs.

Not to mention the whole interview reeks of a pretension. All this philosophical bullshit about “synergy” and “joyous movement” gives me the impression that the game is going to be more about the developers trying to convince audiences of their unwarranted self-importance. If I gave a damn about the themes a game was going to represent, I’d give the Gundam franchise more credit than just being some games where I kick robot ass. Honestly, “Joyous movement?” That is a gayest shit I’ve ever heard! Does that sound cool to anyone who dares call themselves Sonic Fans?

If you’re going to make a Sonic game, you have to honestly think about it in terms of “coolness”. Sonic was marketed and became famous for being a “cool” and quality series. It wasn’t until those assholes at SOJ became power hungry that the series started becoming lame. You’d think someone who made “Jak 2” would take a lesson or 2 about what people found cool about Sonic back in the 90s and work with that. Instead, they’re only focused on making Amy cool.

“I want to bring more girls into gaming and have them play characters that they can associate with and not feel like they’re created by just a bunch of men,”

This reeks of the “Raiden treatment”. Forcing a faux-badass persona on a character that has been lame for years because you personally want the character to be accepted.

it balances out because she’s so awesome.

Ugh.

There’s been some heavy debates about the rise of feminist perspectives in game developers in which they are trying so heavy to appease women by injecting masculine properties into female characters, and while I haven’t paid it any mind, it seems to be the case here where the devs want to appease women. My question is are they going to do so at the expense of the other 3 characters present? Given the scene of their big fall, I’d be inclined to say yeah.

That’s not even getting into the tv show which (while only being a pilot) proves to be just as unfunny and illogical as Colors and Lost Mind combined. One, it ignores logic about 3 times. I think the Dissected folks pointed this out that the forced comedy act of burn bot was all kinds of lame. Then there’s the lightening whip that, while being the coolest scene in the trailer, is only there to help Sonic with an additional attack rather than… being the attack, you know? Turn tails into a fucking Belmont with dat shit! And why isn’t Sonic burned into a crisp? Is that what the mummy wraps were for? 

Then the part where Tails’s proficiency with mechanics is proven to be crap when a simple attack on the wing of a plane is enough to cause the ejector to dislodge itself for another forced bout of comedy bronze. Why the rubber ducky sound!? That’s king of lame attempts at comedy. Why didn’t Tails just fly the fuck out? Take off the seat belt and everything? Cause you know, that’s Tails’s real defining trait. His ability of flight.

Since Tails has been reduced to nothing more than Sonic’s little asset, Tails’s own natural abilities have also taken a back seat to obscurity. The first thing you noticed about Tails back on Sonic 2 wasn’t his technical prowess but his power of flight! Tails could reach places that Sonic could not. Not to mention, he could swim pretty damn well too (this aspect hasn’t been seen since Sonic 3!) Sonic Adventure, he had a tail whip attack, a fitting offensive technique considering how strong his tails should be after all the years of working them out. Since then, however, Tails has become completely dependent on gadgets and gimmickry. It’s not a bad thing so as long as Tails isn’t shown to be inert without them. People bitch about Shadow using guns, but Shadow still has the ability to fight in unarmed combat. What the fuck happened to Tails!? For the record, I have never approved of this change in Tails offensive capabilities as it made him weaker as a result. That part of the trailer is irksome to the core. It’s not even funny in hindsight. It’s forced and has no real logic given the context of the situation. I may not know about planes, but a damaged wing should the effect the functions of the cockpit aside from steering and maintaining altitude. How the fuck does the ejector just up and stop working too? Infact, why is Tails depending on the ejector in the first place when, like I said, he could just jump out!?

There damn well better be some episode covering Tails’s dependency on gadgets and technology or else that shit is wasted comedy relief. Goddamn, I got a whole paragraph ranting about Tails. Then you got Robotnik bitching about being called Egghead when he should be ranting about being called EGGMAN!

Course, this is all speculation based on previous experiences and I’m sure everyone will rant and rave about “OMG TOO MANY ASSUMPTIONS WAIT TILL THE GAME COMES OUT BLARG!” to even think about the negatives. I do hope I’m wrong. Afterall, Sonic 4 E2 was better than I expected, along with Sonic Rush Adventure. There’s too many red flags to not be skeptical about this title, however. As far as I’m concerned, everyone is in honeymoon mode while deliberately ignoring any potential fuck ups that could result from these design choices.

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