Alright, time for the tyrannical Obamacare to rape your wallets!

There’s nothing I love more when shill fansites give up on propaganda and just lay out the salty ass truth for all to bare. A lost year indeed. And yet, the statement is still full of shit.

Sonic Lost World embodies, in many ways, the year that was for Sonic fans. It was unsure of itself, far from perfect–even mediocre at times–and while it was there it never performed the way anyone hoped. 2013 showcased more than a lost world; it was a lost direction, a lost opportunity, and truly a lost year.

How can that be? It’s not like we haven’t seen significant philosophical changes on many fronts; at least attempts at improvement.

“How can it be”, he says. Ray Charles could have 20/20 vision forecasting how much of a failure that game was going to be the moment those silhouettes were revealed. The announcement of 6 deadly retards and a trailer featuring a less than spectacular first level and the reveal of a candy land removed all doubt that no one was going to dig it. If people played Sonic for candy land, you’d see a much bigger line at Gamestop for that waste of shelf space.

The more news that rolled out with Lost Mind, the lower the expectations that everyone had for the game. At least with Colors and Generations, people were damned interested and proclaiming that the games would save Sonic, and they could say that with a straight face. People’s feelings were conflicted with Lost Mind every step of the way. They knew deep down that’s not the shit they wanted in Sonic games. Philosophical changes, indeed. But were they GOOD changes is the question you should be asking. Seeing the lacking success of this title, the answer is obvious.

Sega and Nintendo, once bitter enemies in the beginning of the console wars, have forged newer, closer ties than ever. Whether that has truly benefited Sega and its bottom line remains to be seen.

Remains to be seeTHE NEWS WAS OUT THAT THE GAME WAS A FAILURE! What benefit does underselling fucking Sonic 06 have for Sega at this very moment?! This game more than anything shows that a partnership with Nintendo is DANGEROUS for Sega. Even the Olympics game has flopped, and that series was previously a decent seller.

There’s no sugar-coating that fact. When the official Sega forums filled to the brim with shills are admitting the game is a failure, there is no point in trying to hand out misinformation. Hell, no one is even bringing up the low install base for Pii U as an excuse for why the game bombed, everyone is pointing out it’s own natural flaws. That is the funniest shit you could ever imagine.

Perhaps I’m just stubborn; perhaps I just don’t want to see Sonic succeed under these circumstances because of that war. But back in the 90s, Sonic was always modeled as the anti-Mario, the blue dude with attitude that would run circles around worlds and ideas a virtual plumber wouldn’t touch. With various highs and lows, the formula basically worked on its own for 20 years–even as Sega exited the console business. Now, to potentially see the fate of a once powerful flagship mascot rest on the success of a one-time competitor’s flailing console worries me. It should worry everyone. Talk of Nintendo expanding its reach beyond their own systems has been around for some time now; what if it happens? Will Sonic be forced back into a multiplatform marketplace more competitive than ever? Can he still compete against all the Call of Duties and Battlefields and Maddens and Grand Theft Autos and any number of high budget, high marketed fare?

This was a beautiful statement. This is how all Sega fans felt with Sega’s constant nut riding desire to save the Pii U. It’s a justified fear that none should feel ashamed of admitting. People naturally want things to succeed on their own merits. It’s the same reason people hate localizations of anime because too much shit gets changed, and people will never know what really was. It’s also the same reason that executive meddling in the entertainment world is frowned upon, even if it is a necessary evil at times (cause damn sure Nintendo needs to be meddled with). It’s the reason people kept getting annoyed with all the dipshits that kept suggesting that if Sonic took Mario’s ideas, it would once again be a good franchise (while turning around and bemoaning Sonic Unleashed for taking ideas from God of War no less).

Sonic provided a game series with the “Technodreamworld” that I enjoyed. That neon tinted scifi shit combined with some of the most elaborately designed worlds up until the rise of Shitzuka was something I looked forward to seeing in this series. Was damned excited to see that back in Sonic Colors.

Nintendo creates GENERIC worlds for Mario games all… the damn…. time. Tis not something I would want for Sonic especially since Iizuka is focused on making generic worlds. Lost Mind is a taste of generic world building. It’s not even based on logic!

As for being able to compete against Call of Duty and such, that’s NEVER gonna happen this day in age. Yes, CODG sold significantly less than previous titles, but that’s a natural thing for sequels, they never tend to outsell their previous entries. Call of Duty is still popular, however. Sonic isn’t. And GTA? Keep dreaming.

Even once longtime foe Super Mario is now struggling to make a mark for himself these days, something I never thought would be a problem. If the proud Mario franchise is struggling, how can the Sonic series, in confidence, be considered a success today?

By making 2D Mario, just as with making 2D Sonic. But not just that, making them with actual fucking care would be GREAT start. NSMBU is the epitome of no fucks to give, I’m insulted for simply supporting that series. Nintendo decided to show us their asshole and lick it while they put features……. actually, I’ve rambled enough about Nintendo’s deceit and underhanded tactics of trying to steer people away from certain games. Sonic 4 E2 was a pretty decent game in comparison. It actually served people’s demands on what they wanted to see in a sequel aside from length. Why didn’t NSMBU do that? Because Nintendo cares more about their fucking ambition.

But anywho, Mario isn’t even in the worst shape like Sonic is. People still buy Mario games for some clinically insane reasoning. Sonic is lucky to get a million buyers for ANY game that comes out these days. Sonic being in the 3rd party boat pits it in competition with too many franchises with better quality control while Nintendo can screw everyone out of their sector and collect marketshare for themselves. Sonic is a royally screwed franchise in more ways than one, but it’s even worse when the company doesn’t bother to put in the extra effort to make sure they can actually compete with the GTAs and the like. They don’t even try. And that’s the sad part. If you’re retarded enough to think Lost Mind had effort put into the game, you’re more delusional than a Nintard.

I should really look into what went into Sega’s mind when they made Sonic 4 E2. A company that doesn’t give a fuck about Sonic shouldn’t have had the capacity to make a decent Sonic game like that in 2012.

If anything, there’s plenty of skepticism. Not that many attended the annual Sonic Boom event–having it in a city riddled with crime doesn’t help much–and as for the Sonic Boom TV announcement, too many took a look at what’s believed to be a redesigned Knuckles silhouette and feared the worst.

Shit I don’t care about.

I suppose one could look at the tens of millions of downloads of Sonic Dash as a start. There are plenty, including myself, who wonder if it’s a curse more than a blessing. That Sega can capitalize on what is, in effect, ripping off others’ ideas, as simple and marketable as they may be, gives cause to wonder if this is the true direction of Sonic going forward: Making the most off of menial and arguably unimaginative mobile mini-games. It would be a shot in the gut to both Christian Whitehead and Simon Thomley–both to them and to ourselves–to see their incredible efforts this year remastering classic Sonic titles for mobile take a backseat to apps riddled with ads, bugs, and endless begging to buy more rings.

Hmm… was it honestly that successful? Eh, could be, it seems like a cheap game.

It’s not simply “ripping off ideas”. It’s all in context. Sonic Dash actually makes sense for Sonic. Temple Run and Sonic? ZING! Not to mention Temple Run is incredibly overrated, maybe not angry birds overrated, but close. Who the fuck wants to play Sonic for YOSHI ISLAND DLC!? Temple Run is essentially a simpler version of Unleashed’s Day stages anyway. Sonic is a character known for super speed action, so having the titular character…….. RUN in a game as it’s main ounce of gameplay makes fucking perfect sense in comparison to Werehog.

Maybe God of War just isn’t that popular, just as with Mario Galazy. If people don’t buy Sonic games to see GOW or SMG, but are willing to buy Sonic for Temple Run, then clearly there’s something wrong with those games. But of course, who buys Sonic games to see it rip off other games badly?

But in a way, we are fortunate the Taxman/Stealth combo emerged in the first place. With such miscommunication and lack of communication between Sega divisions, it’s a wonder any games are released at all.

I’ll say.

Clearly, Sega of Japan is calling the shots, and though how much Sega West’s hands are tied isn’t exactly known, it’s never a good sign when the continuation of entire franchises outside of Japan can only be seen as bones thrown to the most diehard. Hatsune Miku, admittedly, was a good start. There’s at least some emerging evidence that Phantasy Star Online 2 is not completely dead in the West. But Yakuza seems out of the question, and many are now worried about the Atlus franchises, and perhaps Atlus’s US division itself, in the wake of Sega Sammy’s acquisition.

In other words. Sega fans are fucked.

Don’t even get me started on PSO2, that shit is as good as dead in the west.

*Something something about the Archie comics*

Damn, I haven’t read a Sonic comic since 2000 when the Knuckles comics were merged into the Sonic ones…

Sega is lost.

For the West, at least. Japan will be easily blessed with all the shit we want, and they still won’t buy their games.

I know this year has been a bit of a reserved one for us, and that’s something I would like to change in the new year. Though I conceded a few years ago that I, too, needed to change, I know I’m not there yet, and I along with the rest of the team hope to continue to earn your trust and understanding. Though it does get snarky around here a lot of times, we know the good that exists in this community and in each other, and we know that, with the right kind of spotlight, it can harbor plenty of good–even in the face of despair.

That’s the gayest shit I’ve ever read. It’s like the guy feels ashamed for how the site is turning out. People like snark. It’s why the “angry reviewers” get so many views despite the senseless and forced rambling about simple shit like the goddamn camera.

Is the site getting less traffic than usual? That’s not your fault, Sonic games are not interesting anymore. So there’s less interest in the franchise overall. You’re not gonna get much traffic based on a series with no appeal. Bomberman forums prematurely die for good reason. Oh look, I demonstrated forced rambling!

Anywho, with the comments once again being delusional as usual, here’s my end of the year statement 2 days all after the fact.

The Sonic franchise, as we know it, is dead. It’s something I’ve come under fire for saying multiple times, but it’s the honest truth. After Lost Mind, I have no faith in this franchise. I have less desire to talk about Sonic games than bad anime (watching Code Geass for some reason, god damn Suzaku is a piece of Mary Sue shit. I can see why there are so many fan wars about that asswipe). And besides that, if what this fool said about Sonic Dash is true, then all we can honestly look forward to is a bunch of mobile games with awful touch screen controls because stupid teenagers who can’t stop buying those goddamn Ipods dig the fuck out of them. Hell, at least the devices are cheaper than a console.

But anywho, the other thing you could probably look forward to are fangames, but we all know deep down that fangames do not have the same effect on us as do console games. Yes, they’re better than official sega games, but you always find yourself asking the question “why couldn’t the big dogs make a game like this!?”. And what happens is you end up hating the companies even more. I’m playing Sonic Fusion and I’m thinking “damn, I have no reason to play Sonic 4 anymore” even though I want to avoid the carpel tunnel. I mean… you just feel a bit of an emptiness inside knowing that…. we have to fend for ourselves if we want quality Sonic games. That is a damn shame. I mean sure, it shows that we don’t need to rely on the big dogs for quality Sonic titles, but at the same time, we shouldn’t fucking have to! They get into this business to serve us, and what happens is we end up having to serve ourselves instead. And Sega is such an asshole company that they’ll shut down fangames if they see fit (Streets of Rage anyone?). So it’s like they won’t serve us, and then they DENY us the ability to serve us. Ain’t that a bitch?

The amazing thing about this, despite how dead the franchise is…. it’ll still have fans regardless. People will still make fan comics, parodies, fan fictions, etc. If people love the series even after 7 years of mind shattering mediocrity, criticism, trolling, and all kinds of frustration, then dammit Sonic must be a damn special franchise. That’s love right there. I don’t care how gay that sounds, it’s really amazing that people will still remain fans of a series with the absolute worst reputation it could get, and take the abuse that comes with it. I want to avoid comparing Sonic to Michael Jackson, but the parallels are all too real. It was on top of the world, and then came crashing down with all the media crucification that comes with it. And yet…. people still stand by it. Especially when it comes to video games. People are NASTY when it comes to video games. Especially franchises from the 90s going forward. I don’t even see many people upset about Mega Man’s death, or Resident Evil being a decayed series. People who love Sonic still hold on to the series with hope and faith that at some point… at some time… it will get fixed. And, if I must admit something, I said the same exact thing when I played 06 for the first time. That the series was dead to me. That I would never touch Sonic again. Yet, here I am enjoying S4E2. I can’t quit this series no matter how much shit I talk. Unless… you know… they sell it off to Nintendo.

Sonic being “saved” is probably gonna take a looooooooong time. Decades, even. It’s not gonna be some overnight thing, something about Sega has to be inherently changed from the inside out. When that happens, I will never know. But, rest assured, it will happen. Management isn’t some permanent thing no matter how much Japan wants it to be.