I’m sure I’m gonna be told that “i’m just too old for this shit”, but is it just me or is gaming not looking so hot these days?

We have 2 new consoles released with headlines cheering for frontloaded sales that mean nothing in the end. And what are the highlights of these 2 machines? Games you can readily get on your current consoles. Knack has very little appeal, a main character that is the personification of a literal giant puppet clusterfuck isn’t the hottest idea to throw around, even with tabloids going bonkers over it’s piddly UK sales beating Mario 3D World (no shit, it’s a Pii U game), and then you have the shooting games no one needs. Call of Duty Ghosts literally failed to maintain steam for the series despite it’s overwhelming fame and eternal scorn of the hardcore (and Resident Evil fans everywhere). Then you have the shitty Sonic game no one wanted. Did I not say it would go out with a whimper? Despite all of the FUCKING HYPE, Lost Mind’s buzz evaporated faster than Pikmin 3’s.

Super Smash Bros. 4 is generating no interest. And why should it? The most Nintendo has bothered to show are returning characters that no one likes aside from Sonic, 3 new characters that are all avatars, and a Mega Man guest appearance stamped with the words “Too little too late to the party”. Not to mention boring stages from crappy games (Skyloft, Bottle Ship, Mario Galazy levels, the fucking train from Spirit Tracks, animal crossing, and goddamn pilot wings).

Fighting games are all turning into animu combo fests, my precious Soul Calibur has been ruined beyond all reason, and I don’t know what the fuck Capcom was thinking when they made SF4 and SFxT. They don’t feel anything like appropriate fighters but some ass cheese that SNK could easily shit out with little effort. It’s that “Japanese quirkiness” bullshit that is destroying fighting games (Blazblue, Persona Arena, that Aquapazza gayest name ever with porno school girls)

That redhead is a goddamn hentai character.

The irony is that DOA is probably the most fun I’ve had with fighters of this generation, second only to MK9. It’s truly an awful feeling that even with the higher “technological  prowess” and bigger budgets that fighting games of today feel incredibly inferior to those of yester. Fighter’s History Dynamite eats SF4 for breakfast.

All Western and Japanese games look exactly the same. Gone are the days of the Genesis and SNES where walking into a Blockbuster meant finding so many games that looked and felt distinctive from each other, no you can actually SEE that there is nothing different from each and every game that’s out. All the HD titles have the “dark and grim” shooting/dark fantasy shit going on while everything that’s japanese has “moeblob” all over dat ass. All the while Sega makes faker food than McDonalds and Nintendo gets bomb threats in Japan for making constantly shitty platformers not named NSMB or Kirby. You’d think owning a BS3, I wouldn’t have to continue searching for anything worth while. But now I have to think of the FPS/Dark fantasy shit the same way I think of the Just Dance games on Wii. Piles of dung to dig through looking for worth while games. Or settle for the tried and true popamole god!

Capcom is about to go bankrupt. Who cares anymore? Nintendo might cancel Pii U nextyear (they won’t). Who cares? 2 voice actors (of Luigi and Tails) including one live actor (Luigi in the Mario cartoon) all died this month. A “winter of death” perhaps? Funny how this happens a year after Obama gets elected…….again.

This is the feeling of disinterest in gaming. After getting burnt several times by a constant stream of ass games, a feeling of consistent buyers remorse discourages me from even trying newer games. The most fun I’ve had with a BS3 are old BS2 collections like DMC, Zone of Enders and Ratchet and Clank. It’s easy to understand why people continue to demand backwards compatibility. If decade old fossils are more enjoyable than the newest games coming out, you know the industry is fucked.

Yep, the BS3 is truly the last console I will ever buy if gaming is going to look and feel exactly the same as it did this past generation. The best value console you can get is the classic game console series featuring Atari and Sega Genesis. They’re only $40 and them bitches come pre-packed with 76-80 mother fucking games. And you know what? That’s the best christmas gift you could buy your snot nosed kids this year. It’s economically sound, and you don’t have to buy anything else extra. Shiiit. Look at dat variety bitch! The Sonic games from an era when things made sense, Streets of Rage, SHADOW DANCER!? Shit, if I didn’t have emulation, I’d buy that myself!

Perhaps I should find a writer who’s batshit enough to own a BS4 to keep up to date with how much worse gaming has gotten.

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