Lorule? Really?

The villain looks like Ganon went the drag queen route and said fuck being a badass. It’s like Nintendo keeps making more homosexual villains as the series moves on.

So, the story looks… the same as LTTP, the 7 wise men’s daughters are all captured or whatnot and put into paintings, I suppose wall art is this game’s gimmick and theme, just to express how “artistic” this game is. And Hilda as the counterpart to Zelda? They couldn’t think of a more generic name, could they? I mean… Hiiiildaaaaaa!? Zelda games always had interesting and hard to remember names for their characters. “Hilda” just shows Nintendo’s lack of fuck these days.

Damn, it looks so boring, I can’t even muster the piss for it. It looks like they’re trying to sell us an old game with new gimmicks and shit no one wants like this cave drawing mess. Ever since Ocarina of Time, the series is nothing but a demonstration of gimmicks. You had the Ocarina, you had the silly ass masks, you have the Rod of Seasons, you have the Harp of Ages, you got the Wind Waker, the Minish Cap, the obligatory Wolf, the motion plus talking sword, ugh.

You know how Dawn of Sorrow had the touch screen gimmick for symbol drawing after defeating bosses? They left that gimmick shit out of the next 2 games due to rampant complaints of how awful that shit is. Konami tries to incorporate some feedback for their games. I suppose, I don’t play Metal Gear beyond Rising. But Nintendo doesn’t seem to listen to anything beyond superficial demands. Oh sure, the tripping in Smash 4 is gone, but if the gameplay will remain like Brawl just to deny the maniac players their own enjoyment (which affects everyone as Brawl is factually less fun than Melee), then it means nothing in the long run. Sonic won’t ever be in a GOOD Smash Brothers because of that idiot’s desire to keep Smash out of the hands of tournament competitors.

When people talk about wanting some oldschool…. anything, no one is talking about superficial bullshit like similar designs and artwork. Reused enemies or any of that shit. Why do developers always pull this shit!? NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT AESTHETIC BULLSHIT! When people talk about wanting games like the good ol days, they mean the whole damn experience, not the art style.

Sega honestly believes they can get away with badniks in Lost Mind while degrading everything else for forced innovation like touchscreen wisps and lolparkour that everyone pretends to be interested in. Same with this game. There is literally NO interest in this game. I thought something was wrong when no one gets pissed about anyone dissing A Link Between Worlds, but people find Wind Breaker HD more interesting than this game. How fucked is your life, Nintendo!? One of your biggest insults is generating more hype than another cocked up Zelda title.

And why would they be interested in a game that pretends to be a SNES game with gimmicks? And another “Light and Dark” mechanic that no one wants after Metroid Prime 2 made it uncool. Oh look, it’s the same world, but just more evil looking than usual! GENIUS!

This mechanic is not fun because that means spending more time shifting through dimensions trying to find your way into another dungeon/puzzle/area/entrance/etc. Why Nintendo continues to use this shit is beyond me, they aren’t popular because of this mechanic.

Oh well. Just another example of Japan’s downfall in gaming.