I had the misfortune of watching what I would like to call “Wretched Ralph” last week, and… well, it would be redundant to state how disappointed I am in any production, whether it be games or otherwise (especially coming from Disney), I have to say some things actually surprised me about the film. Sega completely whored themselves out in this film as many characters, especially very obscure ones like that blue bitch from one of the Shining Force games and the Rhino from Altered Beast, along with a House of the Dead zombie. Also shocked they put the Kano fatality from Mortal Kombat in the movie. Even chuckled at the Rail Shooter where the player is portrayed by a robotic monitor with the player’s face on-screen, being labeled the “first person shooter”.

Overall, I see nothing about the film and how it relates to “how far games have come” or “how much we’ve grown up with video games” or any of that gay shit I read in the reviews when this film first came out, I just saw a typical Disney flick about a supposed “misfit” who becomes a hero. Disney never leaves their tropes behind.

The twist, however, is that Ralph’s character remains a misfit to the very end. He stays the bad guy who gets “mistreated” by the in-game npc’s, but so as long as chipmunk looking Sarah Silverman likes him, he is alright with the job.

The theme of the film is be satisfied with your status quo, even though it’s shit and you will never become anything more than a bastard who is tossed into the mud. It’s basically a mis-guided “message” that Disney is known for, but not misguided in the same sense as prior Disney films where the young are taught self-destructive values such as the superiority of belief, but so much so as this movie is directed at the wrong audience. The status quo is reserved only for those within the business of game development.

When you see games like Devil May Cry, Resident Evil , Sonic the Hedgehog, Metroid, Zelda, Final Fantasy, w/e you can name…. you can see a straining and detrimental fluctuation of content. What would’ve been the fluctuation of Felix’s content rather than Ralph being the good guy for once? Would the in-film audience actually want that? They’re used to fighting against Ralph’s shenanigans, but now he’s suddenly a good guy, wtf? This is the dilemma Sonic fans have had with Robotnik for well over a decade. 1998 up until 2008, that’s 10 years of Robotnik being the good guy to the point of a running gag. And then we’re jumping right back into that nonsense after a mere 4 years.

People always talk about “consistency” when reminding those of why Mario has never had a bad review. And regardless of how annoying Nintendo fans can be, that is the only thing they’re right about, just not in the sense that they think. The content remains consistent. Bowser is always the bad guy, and people are fine with that. Mario is always going to save Peach and people are fine with that. No one enjoyed Mario playing the role of a Janitor even though the roles of the characters remained the same, the changes in what they do to achieve their goals were completely awkward and strange. So the idea of Ralph becoming the good guy “for once” is a stupid idea. As soon as he wins his medal from a game he had no business being in, the gaming world became imbalanced. He unleashed some sort of evil onto the world. It wasn’t a natural state of being. Ralph’s desire to be a hero for once… is the fundamental demonstration of developer or publisher “creativity/innovation/originality”, what may have you. It brings down the house.

So I would not recommend this movie to normal audiences or gamers…. but to those that are in the business of making games. Don’t break the status quo, dammit! I don’t want to team up with the likes of Sigma in Mega Man X, I want to kick his bald ass all over the place.

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