A handheld with no 3D bullshit?

VG Cats - I can't believe it's not Updated_1367606609993

Man, that looks like it could hurt to hold. It’s so flat! It kinda looks like that old ID4 handheld game I had with the infared laser gun.

This thing never worked properly for shit.

So, essentially Nintendo is starting to realize their quest for the ULTIMATE 3D EXPERIENCE was a fluke and a sham. And a much better price!


It looks soooo uncomfortable to hold and play. It’s flatter than Anna Faris, has no real gripping, and seems like it would cause more carpel tunnel than the PSP.

Still, good, good. Nintendo is learning humility. Or so I thought.

Nintendo is so pissed at themselves for doing this, they had a few choice words about it.

“It doesn’t mean that we are not committed at all to 3D and that we don’t think that’s a really valuable, unique eye-popping feature for a lot of gamers,” Nintendo America marketing boss Scott Moffitt told the website.

“We just wanted to continue growing the installed base and needed to find a way to get to a price point that was more accessible for a broad swath of consumers. As we surveyed the marketplace, it seemed to us that there was an opportunity for something at that lower, entry level price point.”

Just say it. We don’t want that 3D bullshit! Not that a price tag ever stopped people from going to a console (sans PS3 and Neo Geo AES). A low price can help, but really, the 3DS was salvaged with NSMB2. When you actually put out shit people want, they will come regardless of the price and popularity. PSP gets Monster Hunter, shit takes off in Japan. High price and no games is a double negative. A price cut won’t help unless you have somehting people want.

Speaking of which, Pii U also gets a price cut despite Iwata’s declarations that they WOULDN’T slash the price. Pikmin 3 probably bombed hard, cause this is the same thing they did after OOT3D failed to sell 3DS’s. I hope this doesn’t become a bad habit for them as it’s like a hardware version of what Capcom does with Street Fighter.

……..Oh fuck it…

But you know what the trip part is? Wind Waker HD is being bundled with the price cut Pii U’s. I don’t know… what sense that makes. First off, you don’t bundle a port of an old game with a console based on current tech. That’s illogical, stupid, and reeks of desperation. No one bought Wind Waker because it looked like shit. And hell, it PLAYS like shit too. Infact, all 3D Zeldas play like shit with those busted ass controls, piss ass combat, boring ass “puzzles”, etc. Bundling a nintendo console with a franchise that has decreased in popularity so fast in a matter of 1 decade is just bad business. You know, even though the PS3 was getting crushed, they at least bundled their console with games that have some recognition (God of War, Uncharted 2 I guess). Why? Because they needed to sell these things desperately. Sony was getting ass raped, so they at least tried their damndest to get people to buy the PS3. Nintendo? Lets just CONVEY THE BEAUTY OF WIND WAKER’S POTENTIAL! See, this goes to show you that the 2DS was probably an investor idea, because no one in this company wants to admit they have some issues. Aonuma and Miyamoto just can’t seem to let go of the fact that no one likes Wind Waker. They act as if that game was the epitome of intricacy and art even though it looks like ass. Bundling it with price cut Pii U feels more like a scheme. I assume they’re banking on the price cut to sell more of their console, and bundling it with WWHD would inflate the sales of that piece of shit so they can go and say “SEE!? The consumers finally understand the greatness of Celda! LETS MAKE MORE SHIT!”

Nintendo’s stupidity is beyond belief. They need to SELL the Pii U, so they need to bundle it with their best……oh wait, they don’t have shit! Hell, since Lost Mind is coming out around the same time, they should bundle Pii U’s with that game instead. At least people would buy it.

Then again, that idea just makes me puke. Sonic being bundled with a Nintendo console.