Over the past few months, it’s been nice knowing that some Sonic fans out there actually have a fundamental understanding of what makes Sonic games popular and appealing to fans and non-fans alike. This new shit isn’t cutting it, but I digress.

Some… still don’t have a grasp of it, however. Infact, it might even go so far as misinformation on the series claim to fame. Understanding Sonic’s origins and purpose as well as it’s indentity as a mascot franchise would benefit people in understanding the real reason the series has fallen and why it was popular in it’s heyday. I’m not even gonna go over the entirety of this post. Only the bits that are misleading. Mainly because he goes on blabbing about his childhood as a genesis kid that no one gives a shit about.

There was something about the game’s combination of platforming and speed that was almost hypnotic.

Bullshit #1. Nothing about it’s platforming had anything to do with anyone liking Sonic the Hedgehog. Or any platformers in general. Platforming is simply what one must do to reach the goal. Platforming in itself is not the most fun aspect of the games. The only reason it might be for Sonic games is because there is no risk of death in the majority of the platforming segments. For the most part, Sonic 1’s platforming was barely there. The most I could remember where alternate paths and Marble Zone. Otherwise, platforming would just be work. There’s no stimulation in the act.

Sonic’s platforming is non-existent for the most part. What little there was, no enjoyment could be derived of. But I’m sure this is going to win some “reading too much into” comments so moving on.

Whilst Sega has done a lot of things right in this generation of consoles – such as releasing many strong IPs

Bullshit #2. Strong IPs imply they actually sell. Sega hasn’t stacked paper to the ceiling since the Saturn in Japan. What roof is they raising from Binary Domain? Vanquish? Bayonetta? HOTDO, and even Yakuza? Sega hasn’t made a dime off of an anything over the course of one decade. And w/e cheese they did shread, Hajime would blow them off on his shitty Pachinko business. Tellin yah, when a Japanese dev gets bought by a Pachinko company, they get ass raped for all their worth. SNK got lucky, but Sega……damn man.

Regardless of how you feel about the series, Sonic was an attempt at a perfect cross between platforming and racing, that is otherwise non-existent.

Bullshit #3. Sonic isn’t about platforming. There’s barely any to bother with. The game is essentially an obstacle course. I’ve said it was a faster platformer in the past, yes, but only in regards to what genre it gets labeled with. And racing!? The concept of Sonic being in a racing game didn’t come until Sonic 2. Sonic was an attempt to advertise the processing power of the Sega Genesis as the main selling point of the console. As such, the game was made simple enough for the processing power to be demonstrated. You weren’t nearly constrained by obstacles as much as other platformers would have it as the devs needed to find a way to advertise the speed. Unfortunately, the only way you could have this speed was in Zones 3 & 5. Otherwise, the game is pretty slow by today’s standards, but it DID in fact run faster than a plethora of platformers out at the time. It succeeded in what it was supposed to do.

As Sonic was clearly designed to be on a fixed 2D plane, translating it to other designs, and types of gameplay, becomes much more difficult. It seems as though Sega are aware of this.

Sonic was designed to be in 2D because that’s all you had, dumbass.

Sonic’s gameplay was translated well going into Sonic Adventure, up until Shadow. And regardless of how people felt about Shadow’s content, gameplay wise, it was fine. Except wall jumping. That sucked ass. And Sega being aware of their own flaws in design practices? Do you also believe in giving peace a chance!?

As the series started fading away, gamers wanted more than just speed, and… further Sonic games were not offering anything else. The series started dabbling in pinball games, kart racers and even isometric puzzle action-adventure games; but the series was slowly beginning to abandon its trademark speed fused with platforming.

Ok, 1. We didn’t even have a good tally to dictate what the majority of Sonic fans wanted out of Sonic the hedgehog until after Sonic 06. And clearly thanks to the popularity of Sonic Rush, yeah, ALL they want is the speed. 2. Branching out in different genres is what mascots characters are put through. Companies show off their mascots in different all the time. But they are all considered “spinoffs”. In all the main Sonic games, this trademark was never abandoned until now with Lost Mind.

This leads to my main issue for my love and hate relationship with Sonic the Hedgehog: the lack of focus. It seems as though Sonic Team has become increasingly confused as to what they want their flagship series to be. The series has seen a strange change in tone. Instead of the light-hearted, whimsical, and cartoony spirit that the series used to embody, the franchise started developing an oddly dark, serious and grim tone.

Why do I feel like my shit got co-opted? Eh, w/e. It’s not general confusion but rather different developers having their own ideas of what Sonic should be (just like the fanbase). Clearly we can see this practice in motion. Yuji Naka liked having a lot of characters to be playable that gave a variety of gameplay options (which just up and suddenly became a bad idea because of one game). On the other hand, Iizuka prefers to revoke any chance of playing as a different character and replaces them with shitty timed power ups. And again, the Sonic series was not “whimsical” w/e the fuck that’s supposed to mean. Our content of Sonic the Hedgehog, more than anything, came from SATam and the Archie Comics. The tone of these series were validated by Sonic Adventure and up. AOSTH was mostly forgotten for everything besides a shitty “pingas” meme that the fanbase, in their desperate attempts to be funny and imitate other retarded fanbases, forced on themselves.

And these series had some dark shit going on. And we all thought it was awesome. How this now all of a sudden doesn’t exist would be beyond anyone unless you understand how gamers act when it comes to Japanese media. Gamers and Anime fans (the author claims to be a goddamned Otaku, afterall) disregard any western media as unnofficial drivel by default, feeling that western adaptations are “disrespectful” despite the necessity to appeal to their own cultural standards.

Some abuse the privilege.

With that in mind, the games (and some shit manga) were all “whimsical” and “light-hearted”. So Shadow the Hedgehog would easily disgust them. While Shadow is pretty extreme in some regard, 06 was quite tame and shouldn’t be faulted because it was all badly written. Even Sonic 3 had it’s moments, what with Knuckles getting electrocuted to death after getting his ass kicked. He’s just about to pass out trying to help Sonic through and through. Something like this would be considered “too violent” in today’s group of Sonic fans, but gets a free pass because of it’s seniority.

The excessive ‘hard-boiling’ of game franchises, and making them grim and gritty, has affected many game series, but Sonic has seen the most abrupt shift. The neon-coloured casino nights and shimmering green hills were all but forgotten. It seemed to be filled with bland, colourless and dull destroyed cities, and over-the-top mammal melodrama.

You know, it comes to a point in time when one has to get really fucking tired of 2 fucking games in the entire fucking franchise being exagerrated to make it seem like the ENTIRE FUCKING FRANCHISE turned into this shit. After Shadow the Hedgehog, what did we get? Sonic Riders, and that instantly returned to the neon, colorful stuff we all loved. Yes, it’s a racing game with a concept universally hated for no good reason besides it’s existence, but it is there. And then we had Sonic Rush in the same year, with it’s brand of colorful (yet tacky designed) Zones. The author is trying to force this idea that the series became 2 games for it’s entirety until Colors and completely disregards the handhelds and spinoffs like everyone else. Where is this idea coming from?

Now, it’s possible that the author probably has never played the handhelds or spinoffs out of his so-called “disinterest”, but considering how he claims to keep going back to it, there;s no reason these other games managed to slip passed his radar unless he’s a mindless troll.

You can see this lack of focus in the gameplay too. Instead of linear 2D design, the series started experimenting with other elements. Most namely: hub-town exploration, other playable characters, and even driving mechanics. It’s clear that Sega knew that speed was no longer guaranteed to impress, and so, holding fans on with gimmicks seemed like that was their answer. However, this soon blurred the qualities that made Sonic great. Soon, controlling Sonic himself was becoming a lot less fun, with the main problems being a horrible camera and an overall loss of control. There is nothing quite as frustrating as running Sonic down a stretch, moving the analog stick to do a slight turn, but then having Sonic make a hard left and falling right off the edge.

Again, exaggeration. These complaints come from, again, 2 games. 06 and Unleashed had some of the most frustrating level design in the series. But what of the last 3D Sonic titles? You might hear complaints about bad camera (though that’s just an easy target these days as most games with claims of bad camera don’t even have this issue), but bad controls? Not until 06.

Has this author not played any game up until Shadow the hedgehog? His memory seems quite limited to the most hated games in the series (like every other Sonic fan, it seems).

His ‘friends’ don’t help either. Yes, those guys. It’s possible that Sonic the Hedgehog probably has the most useless supporting cast in a video game series. Aside from the fact that none of them are very interesting characters to begin with- and some are just generally irritating- they all feel like a fairly desperate attempt at attracting a younger audience to the series. And that’s how Sonic is barely coasting along. The non-discriminating taste of his younger fans, plus the extremely powerful nostalgia that older fans like me have for the character, is managing to keep Sonic busy, if not in entirely good shape.

And now we come to the stereotypes and the unjustified hatred of “Sonic’s friends”. Younger audiences don’t care about Sonic. Sonic is mostly played by the Casters. And the few youngins that do don’t even notice the other characters or care about them. The youngins play Sonic games for the same reason you do. Because of spectacle. Because of the blistering speeds. It’s fun and stimulating as hell. And again, exaggeration. Sonic’s “friends” did not become useless until after 06. Before then, they have given a much greater variety to the series than Sonic alone. Tails providing Sonic flight and gaining access to different paths, Knuckles having completely different routes for completing levels via his digging power up, Espio being the entire basis for that stupid ass Parkour system in Lost Mind (keep up the fad, Assassins Creed. Parkour is the new QTE), etc. Not to mention no one had a problem with them in the adventure games or Heroes. Course, we all know why. And besides that, the Sonic characters are merely hated for gameplay reasons and not content reasons. 06 basically ruined the fandom’s perception of character quality due to poor gameplay and unnecessary interruptions mid-level, breaking the pace and momentum that was established before. These changes come in at random and can’t be avoided, and it is irritating.

For all I know, this is probably a shill working for Iizuka considering the recent bout of “sub-character” claims. Them not up and knowing that people wanted to play as different characters, and then blowing off a fan in the audience of Sonic Boom about why Shadow isn’t playable reeks of a sinister nature of Sonic Team trying to make the fans accept some new standard for Sonic. Because at this point, it’s getting rather insane. Especially considering every annoying character they add, they immediately ditch them anyway. When’s the last time Cream was relevant? Or Silver for that matter?

2010 was an interesting year for Sonic. Not only did it seem like Sega were finally listening; but it also seemed like they were trying. Not only was Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing: Transformed

Wrong year, dipshit. Also, Sega wasn’t listening. Iizuka specifically said that Colors was tailor made for the younger audiences. Not you. If anything, Sonic 4 Episode 2 would be “listening to fans”. Giving players an extra Sonic character to play as, fixing up the physics a little, and having more enjoyable levels. But that little entry was conveniently left out of the entire article for some reason. Who the fuck asked for Wisps, might I ask?

This renewed sense of focus was present in Sonic Colours, released several months later. Instead of overloading us with a melodramatic, nonsensical story, and unnecessary characters, Colours stuck with the tried and true. It was just Sonic and Tails, defeating Dr. Eggman, in a number of bright, imaginative and colourful locations, such as an aquarium park and a frenetic space elevator. Rather than pandering to a younger audience,

Colors was specifically made for a younger audience. And useless characters?

It’s an allspark and a pokeball.

I miss Heavy and Bomb already.

It did have the useless woodland friends, and another pretty silly plot about time dimensions, but they were thankfully side-lined in favour of celebrating the 16-bit Genesis yesteryear with Classic Sonic, while preserving the positive aspects of the 3D Sonic games and building upon them.

Celebrated? It made a complete mockery of Classic Sonic. The 16 bit games only got 3 levels while the Modern games had 6, with much bigger levels and a greater sense of spectacle than the overly simple Genesis levels. Not to mention how Classic Sonic is made to admire Modern Sonic over the use of a homing attack. Not to mention the classic stages were all lazily designed with little to no effort put into them aside from maybe City Escape and Puzzle Planet? I wouldn’t know, I was bored out of my fucking mind. The classic levels felt slow and controlled awkwardly, while the Modern levels felt like a breath of fresh air. This is more of a disservice than anything.

Generations was, while having it’s fun moments, a mediocre way to celebrate Sonic’s birthday. Though the praise it gets shows how easy it is to control Sonic fans with marketing techniques.

However, it’s hard not to see a definitive step forward, as it seems that Sega and Sonic Team have finally understood what makes a great modern Sonic game. Both Colours and Generations are the most successful attempts yet at recapturing the magic of the 16-bit classics.

When a review score actually determines the success of a video game, call me back for Okami. Sonic 06 was the most successful game of this generation for the mere fact that it made platinum hits. Along with Sonic Unleashed. The 2 most frustrating and hated Sonic games of all time. While Colors and Generations did even scratch the surface of 06’s success.

Colors and Generations are truly the games of the internet fandom and not the real world. You have to be really careful when it comes to games that are praised on the internet. The internet is dominated by hardcore nerds. Nerds naturally have no concept of what is mainstream and popular. Being the social outcasts that they are, how can they see what is quality beyond their own asses? But as long as they have the Dark Knight trilogy, they can feel justified in their opinions so as long as a review from a major website validates them. Especially since nowadays, SA2 gets so much hate yet makes PSN’s sales charts for 2 months in a row. Nigga please. We already know what the fans want, so you can hang that shit up right now.

The newest title, Sonic: Lost World, hitting the Wii U and 3DS in October, looks like the modern Sonic game that Sega have been promising all these years.

A dull adventure with no appeal, bemoaned gameplay ideas, and repackaged concepts under fancy new names?

It seems to stay faithful to its roots

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Lost Mind is the most confused game I’ve ever laid eyes on. For the last few trailers, I’ve seen ridiculous power ups such as a music note, several thousand on rail levels, and exploration based on looking for shit rather than discovering new paths. Discovering alternate routes were more of a reward. In this game, they seem to be given away for free just by running up a few walls and walking around cylinders. The only reason it seems to stay faithful is because it (poorly) imitates a graphical and art style of the old games. This is the same reason people wrongfully believe Mario stuck to his roots. Graphical style plays a key role in people’s perceptions. Look at Resident Evil 5. No one thinks this game stuck to Resident Evil’s roots at all. Some may attribute it to gameplay reasons, but then RE4 and 6 should’ve been held in contempt. Some people have actually said RE6 returned to RE’s roots! I couldn’t even contain my rage at the mere farce! But it had more to do with it’s visuals than it’s gameplay. Or it’s content. This has always been the case. The reason why it’s rare for anyone to say RE6 returned to it’s roots is because RE5 already fucked the pooch on people’s expectations (broad daylight in my RE!?), or a general distrust of Capcom.

Nintendo is slowly burning bridges. Sega is completely fucked. Now NO ONE knows what Sonic is about and just feel that, because of the way it looked, makes it seem like Sega gets it.

Whether or not the game can help ‘revive’ the slow start of the Wii U, as Sega Europe president Jurgen Post hopes it will

It won’t. I think a good 90% of the gaming populace can tell you it won’t do a damn thing. First off, if Sonic Colors and Generations couldn’t do shit for Wii and HD (no sales of consoles pick up after Sonic games these days), what in the fuck makes anyone think Pii U will get ANY boost from a Sega game? This is industry hype. And from SOE of all people. Since when have they ever done anything to win some authority?

Then again, nothing this author says makes any sense beyond what has already been repeated to death. Besides, I can’t take anyone who says this seriously. No research, no common sense, no nothing.

To the outside looking in, these are the Sonic fans that must be avoided at all costs. For your sanity and braincells.