After being frustrated by TTT2, I decided to go back to VF5 in rage and disgust. I said “not doing command training because all that’s gonna do is fuck my mind up with completely convoluted commands” and decided to just run through Arcade mode a million times. Oh Amma, the  controls feel like heaven after trying the stiff piss ass controls on Tekken. I can backstep, sidestep, and all that good shit without trying to break my damn controller. Nothing feels cheap or aggravating….. at all. I was almost reminded of Bloody Roar in how everything felt like it was in your control.

Namco has completely fucked up their fighters to the point that VF smells like a bucket of fresh cut Nile Lotus’s. Even have a main.

Face is in need of some lickin.

Yeah, they bleached Vanessa, fueling my rage and forcing my hand toward the fucking chinese.Gameplay wise, VF is a helluva lot better than Tekken, hands down. But like Garou, from afar, it’s just boring in some parts. There’s just no “umph” to the combat. It plays well and… goddamn, Tekken is some shit. That damn dinosaur…

You know, if Tekken’s content and VF’s gameplay were bred together, that would be GOTY material. So replaying VF5 and looking over the internet for universe details, there’s definitely potential that won’t be fulfilled because Sega’s a bunch of lazy cocks but….. fuck it, lets get this started.

And yes, I am being a hypocrite in making this.

#1. A central character focus.

Fighting games after SF2 (by nature) tend to have several mother fuckers ready to get the taste smacked out of their mouths. And while they’re all made with a certain appeal to different tastes, it’s pretty well known that the most popular fighters tend to focus on one or 2 characters at best. Street Fighter has Ryu and Chun Li, Tekken has the Mishimas, Soul Calibur has Siegfried, KOF series….used to have Terry…. no Ryo… no Kyo… K’… Ash… AAAAAAAAGH!

But… you get the idea. Virtua Fighter, because it has no universe exposure, has no real central character. They’re all soulless MMA fighters. Sure, Akira seems like the main character type. After all, anyone that shares a passing resemblance to Ryu is the main character. But…Akira doesn’t really do anything that contributes to the story.

The central character would have to be Jacky Bryant.

Jacky’s entire premise revolves around battling against Virtua Fighter’s primary antagonists, J6. Being a race car driver, J6 caused him to get into an accident. After about 2 years, he finds out his sister Sarah gets kidnapped by J6 (snooping around, that kind of shit). So he gets pissed and decides to bust some ass. And fails. After 3 tournaments, he finally gets his sister back. But then they lose their body guard, the heavily bleached Vanessa, and he has to go in and save her, while beating the hell out of Goh (the crazy Mr. Freeze lookin fuck that everyone assumes is a rival of Akira despite nothing of importance between them). Then, J6 keeps threatening to kill his sponsers if he doesn’t take part in the next tournament.

Jacky Bryant is probably the most proactive character in the series. Unlike all the Asian characters (Akira, Pai, Lau) who’s only goal is to generically “improve their skills and prove themselves worthy in the next tournament”, Jacky, Sarah, and even Wolf Hawkfield have motivations that involve saving the goddamn world from the “illuminati“.

At the same time, Kage-Maru is a candidate for a central focus as he is the primary character that defeats the Dural dolls and has an even bigger agenda against J6

Leave that bitch Akira in the dust. He’s more like Ryu, some old guy with stank ass feet that does nothing but hobo around the world trying to be the perfectionist asswipe for no reason other than self-gratification. Notice how Tekken has none of these character arch-types? Or King of Fighters for that matter? The character’s motivations extend beyond some perfectionist warrior bullshit. Well, except Feng Wei… but he’s bitch made.

It’s either Jacky or Kage-Maru for this. Not to mention they’re both way more accessible for beginners.

#2: actually give your universe some exposure.

I’ve said this about a million times in 2 previous posts, but if I gotta be a broken record, dammit you NEED to explain why your fighters are fighting. Not having ending cutscenes is, to me, inexcusable. If you’re going to bother giving your characters backstory, USE IT. I mean shit! I like using CHARACTERS instead of…. “assets.”
If I’m going to bother getting awesome with Jeffery, I want to feel like he, as a character, is a tight fighter who is fighting for some awesome reason.

I don’t want to feel like he is just The Australian Nigga that the game developers came up with for the series years ago. It makes the whole experience feel artificial somehow.

When you look into the universe of Virtua Fighter, you would realize just how dark and downright scary it can be. All the Dues Ex fans would grow moist if they knew the storyline was based on a syndicate that draws inspiration from the Round table group.

This is Judgment Six in a nutshell

J6 are a bunch of assholes who slowly, quietly, and surely does everything in their power to accumulate wealth and power into their hands from all the world governments. The best way to do that would be to create some super fighting assassins to make sure they get their way no matter what. They host every tournament to (as usual) collect data and then kill the original fighters to make sure no one gets in their way, making the tournaments literal death matches. They also have a tendency to kidnap women for some reason. They have such raging hard ons for Sarah Bryant but have yet to even focus on Pai-Chan.

But you wouldn’t know all that.

Besides gameplay reasons, this is probably the laziest fighting game series when it comes to appeal. Oh the nerds will love it, definitely, but that doesn’t help at all when no one buys it after Tekken gets a release.

It’s so simple and requires no work. Everything is already done, it just needs some exposure already.

#3. Making fighting look cool?

Would it kill you assholes to make some of these attacks look remotely painful for once? I’m performing moves that look slow and soft. It looks like WWE when I’m performing throws. Really, when you compare how the action in Tekken or DOA looks to Virtua Fighter, you’d assume Sega had made a game for pussies who don’t like violent video games. Just look at some of the throw animations in VF5 and tell me that doesn’t look like bad choreography. The only moves that look remotely painful come straight from Brad’s cross ups. Especially those right hooks.

Fighting games today are made to satisfy a primal craving. It gives that feeling of battle that, when inflicting pain on your enemies, generates a state of power and dominance over others. In a safe environment of course. As such, they need painful looking attacks in general. Not only because it gives a much greater feeling of overpowering someone, but also because it’s fun to do something cool and seeing the effects in your opponent reeling in pain. Virtua Fighter doesn’t have this element of empowerment. It literally feels like every match is basic “friendly sparring matches”, which decreases it’s cool points. Nothing grabs you by the conkers. There’s no teeth. No intensity. I might as well be playing VF kids!

How do they still have beards and boobs?

DOA has no problem making moves look painful. Infact, that shit is brutal! The reason I bring up DOA is because it was made to be a true counter-part to Virtua Fighter. The problem is that it has completely surpassed VF in terms of content and extremely brutal (and beautifully animated) attacks. VF5 looks out-dated via animations alone! Even the stiff ass lookin moves in KOF Maximum Impact look more painful, but that’s due to a combination of sound effects, hitsparks, and even the screen shakes about a bit to emphasize the power of the attack.

Man, just look at these ass whoopins taking place. Does that not look the least bit intense? Bone crushing moves, getting knocked up against the rocks and just taking it.

Sure, VF looks realistic (to an extent), but see, realism does not belong in video games. People have a tendency to bemoan realism in video games (like needing ink for type writers in Resident Evil or reload animations in FPS’s, or just the general look). Video games are usually a break from reality for entertainment. Entertainment is not realistic. Out of the ordinary shit happens in entertainment all the time. Realism is not entertaining, so take note VF fanbase, realistic looking fighting is by no means a positive. Tekken fanboys will swear their game has realistic fighting because the attack animations are realistic. The fighting is nowhere near the claim, but that’s another point in their favor. Now, the juggling bullshit holds it back (along with that stupid control scheme). Bottom line, VF characters are more appropriate in a DOA style game than otherwise.

Also, there is no shame in using hitsparks to detail that your attack connects. Fuck man…

#4 Less complex commands/tutorials wouldn’t hurt.

Look, if you’re gonna make a 3D fighter, Akira shouldn’t be using charge attacks (guile stle shit).

Command Training is a bad way to teach someone how to play a fighting game as all it does is give the player this idea that he/she has to master and memorize every single move in the character’s database just to be good. And these move lists are massive. All fighting games have the same general rule. All you need is the bare minimum. Sure, know that you have these moves in your arsenal, but if they’re more complex than need be, then ignore that shit and use what you can the best to your ability. Ryu and Ken are popular characters to use in Street Fighter because fireballs and dragon punches will do just fine against several opponents. Infact, the reason why so many Marvel characters in Marvel vs Capcom fare so well is because most of them already have the Shoto tools necessary to kill shit. Likewise in KOF13. I use Robert a lot, but I don’t use his kick specials often. The fireball and dragon punch (and that hcf Kick special after blocking attacks is useful) are all I really need. When it comes to fighters made by Namco, Sega, or even Tecmo, they have these move list tutorials/demonstrations that show you what these guys are capable of. But 9/10, you’re never going to need any of that bullshit to be good. And just because everyone swears VF is technical doesn’t mean the same rules apply. From what I can surmise, the only reason people say that is because they have no REAL means of bullshitting you with cheap tactics unlike Namco’s high damage launcher fests.

Especially with pro ass bitch here.

The best training will always be going to practice mode and winging it. Try out a few weird button commands and see if they do anything dramatic, practice them for a while, and then test them out to see if said moves are actually useful. Sure it’s nice to get an idea of what your character can do prior, but if the commands for said moves are complex, then the idea of trying to “master” the character would be intimidating. And VF’s main character is fucking Akira, so that really sets people up for failure. Akira is not accessible. Some of his moves have really stupid motions like Back, Forward x3 then Punch. This is not at all practical for a game with fast movement. To those that have lived and breathed fighting games, sure that’s nothing. But if VF were ever to be mass market, this shit would have to change. Then you’d say “but wait! Akira is probably the most powerful character in the game! Wouldn’t making his moves more difficult be a means of reducing his viability for the sake of balance?” But then what’s the point of calling the game balanced if he’s uber as shit? Wouldn’t that mean changing up your tactics in means of having to counter his ability? After all, Street Fighter basicaly has “Get close to Dhalsim, stay the fuck away from Zangief”. The general strategy for VF is “dash in and out, poke, etc for every fight”. Establish some variety in the matches.

All fighting games nowadays have this problem where combos are the epitome of combat, so it’s not like VF has anything else going for it. Scare the mother fuckers into not wanting to get close to Akira players out of fear of being raped in the arse. If making Akira easier to play scares the piss out of you, then maybe it’ll force you into adapting and countering his bitch ass.

#5 Some nice time wasting minigames.

Bitches love bowling!

……….Yeah. I mean, even Pokemon Stadium gave you a break from the RPG shit. What if you just want to play some wacky game?

#6: Some memorable music themes?

Granted, 5 has a decent OST, when you think of VF music, the only song that comes to mind is Black Cat Moon.

For Sarah Bryant. But nothing else really sticks to you like most other fighting game OSTs. I mean even KOF has better music. And KOF’s music is ass.

KOF2K has the best damn soundtrack in the series.

Sadly, I cannot say the same for any of the VF games. None of their soundtracks are 100% ear sex. VF5 came close, but it’s still rather slim pickings. It’s not like Sega is incapable of damn good music, the Sonic series is a testament to that alone. And no generic rock for every goddamn theme like Guilty Gear and SNK fighters usually do.

When you play a Sega game, you instantly get the feeling that game is going to be awesome. That “Sega feel” is something that can’t really be replicated (unless you’re Treasure Inc.). When you play HOTD, VF, Sonic, Nights, or just about anything from Yu Suzuki, you feel that these games have more potential than you get. So obviously, you’d want a little improvement on all accounts. It’s frustrating because despite the amount of work Sega puts into tinkering with shit, they don’t put in any extra on content. So every game they produce is inevitably wasted potential. VF is no exception. This could be such a damn good series, but it’s so wasted.

One of the reasons I believe Tekken overtook Virtua Fighter was availability. Sega isn’t so big on distribution like Namco was, so you saw more Tekken cabinets than you did Virtua Fighter. Plus, it was one of Playstation’s babies and Playstation was like modern super hero films where no name actors become hit stars in less than a day of viewing them despite their lack of talent.

Who the fuck were you before Spiderman?

But once VF4 was out, Tekken was already well established. The graphics whores marveled at VF, but those were a minority. Many didn’t even know the series existed. And to this day, with Sega not advertising shit, we all know why.