No wonder they look like shit.

Sonic Team LOVES their demonic entities. It seems Sonic is tearing up more demons than he is robots these days. It’s not a problem as it just makes Sonic’s universe more varied in content. However, this time, they decided to fuck that up too. According to ignorazuka at Summer of Sonic, these circus freaks are based off of Oni, which all of you know are Japanese demons. Except… these things look more like Nintendo knock offs than anything else.

First off….

This is an Oni

Nothing about these Zeti retards scream oni. They have horns, and Zavok is colored red, but that’s as far as they go. They don’t even look threatening.

THIS is a threatening ass Oni!

Infact, Sonic Team knows they can do better than this.

These are all demonic entities based off of western mythologies. It seems that Sega can do better with external influences than their own. Which says more about Sega’s lack of imagination considering other companies could make Oni just as intimidating and downright fucking creepy.

HE FUCKING EATS HIS OWN ARM!

The Zeti in comparison are certainly the most saccharin things I’ve laid eyes on. Oni and most Japanese demons are some of the creepiest mother fuckers you will ever bare witness to. But man, they’re a let down in this game. Most of them could just be replaced with other Sonic characters and no one would wonder the difference. Zavok could be Omega for all we cared, which would’ve made the story a helluva lot more interesting, that’s for damn sure.

I don’t think I’ve ever been more anal about a Sonic game since Advance 3. Sonic’s best content is western inspired. I don’t see any Pachinko machines in Casinopolis! Japanese influence is killing the Zelda franchise. It killed Metroid. Don’t get me started on Soul Calibur 5! This is a disaster waiting to happen. What with all the “intricacies” present within gameplay and an over-arching focus on gameplay above all else, illogical changes to character powers and abilities (Tails is nobodies bitch), and the marty stu-ification of Sonic, it’s all there. This game might just turn into Bomberman Jetters where Sonic needs leopard skin undies to get a magnet shield.

By the balls of Ra….

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