Satanic boobs!?

No, but pretty close. Apparently, Iizuka wasn’t done turning Sonic into his own personal puzzle fest and has declared that Wisps will become a STANDARD… for Sonic games. Check out this interview with resident piss wad, Takashi Iizuka!

The thing that we really wanted to innovate on and set as a challenge was to improve the forward view action gameplay. With Generations, it was very much go really quickly and avoid all obstacles by sidestepping. We wanted to really innovate on that aspect, and that’s where the innovation of Sonic: Lost World’s you picked up on has come from.

Basically, a gayer version of previous Sonic games that came before Unleashed.

SEGA Nerds: Is there any particular reason why Sonic Team and SEGA has decided to bring back the Color Powers from the Color games? Is Lost World meant to be a direct sequel to Colors or a spin-off?

Iizuka: To clarify, the story is completely separate from Colors. It’s not a sequel in that sense. As far as the Color Power implementation, with Sonic Colors, its key unique selling point was its Color Powers. We really like Color Powers as a team, and, moving forward, we intend to make the usage of Color Powers as a standard in future Sonic games as long as it makes matches the playability of the game.

So you bring back a feature no one cares about because you personally like them? Sounds like something Nintendo would do. Sega used to be known for being the anti-nintendo.

It was their goddamn slogan!

Now, it seems my worst fears have come true. Now they like stupid, boring “intricate” gameplay mechanics for puzzles and exploration, two elements that have been bemoaned to hell and back within Sonic games. And that’s all they will be useful for. Mark my words.

Zone: 0: The levels in Lost World seem to be very deliberately more minimalistic in design than in recent games. Does this make them easier to create, and, if so, can we expect to play a larger amount of those stages than normal?

Iizuka: Compared to Generations, it’s definitely got a look that’s more minimalistic and simple looking. Why we did that to start with is to make it easier for people to play the game. We wanted to make sure we could maintain 60 frames per second, we wanted to make sure people could see the rings or any sort of thing we wanted people to pick up on – that they can see it without it being too busy in the background. So it’s really a playability thing that we saw was an issue before that we wanted to make sure that we addressed this time.

From doing that, actually, now we can create stages with this style a lot faster than before.

Unleashed HD had that issue with only one level (Adabat), but otherwise, the problem was that there was too much going on during the levels, especially with those automatic robot sections. Generations had no real issues with the backgrounds making it hard to see (except Sky Sancturary). That doesn’t mean you go a minimalist route! You design the levels to be clear to see period. Adabat from Unleashed HD was so poorly designed in everything besides the backgrounds. On the water segments, you had NO CLEAR IDEA of where to go next. I’m starting to believe Iizuka doesn’t know at all why Sonic games aren’t popular with people these days. This isn’t a solution as it makes the game look lazy. Infact, looking at your last statement, this is exactly the case.

You’ve already set the expectations of having beautiful graphics for Sonic games, especially on a console that costs $400. It’s a console for the nerds, and you believe anyone of them is going to pay out the ass for a game that looks like it belongs on the Wii? Actually, Sonic Colors looks better than this game. Waaaay better. Colors is liked because of it’s techno-dreamworld aesthetics and visuals, not the piece of shit wisps, or that trite ass gameplay. Like it or not, people DO want good graphics. MM9 and 10 were too ancient to matter to people. You need visuals that catches the attention of people. They don’t have to be the best damn turtle-wax job in the world, but they do need to be a great set of titties.

Titties saved Tecmo from bankruptcy, you know!

That reminds me. Where the fuck is Rouge?

SEGA Nerds: In terms of development, how do you find developing titles for fans of the older games and the modern games? Is there a particular method you use to make sure a new game can appeal to both kinds of gamers?

Oh this should be good.

Iizuka: This is something we’re particularly aware of, and it’s something we try to focus on to make sure that we provide something for both different types of fans.

In 2010, we released Sonic 4, and that was very much a classically aimed game. Colors was much more for the newer fans. Following up on that, we created Generations, which was looking back at 20 years of Sonic, and that was aimed at both fans because you had classic Sonic and newer Sonic. There was clearly forward view gameplay and side-view gameplay for the older Sonic fans.

Iizuka doesn’t understand Sonic fans.

Classic Sonic fans (such as myself) had enough capacity to enjoy Sonic Adventure, for Amma’s sake. It has nothing to do with camera perspectives. 2D, 3D, it doesn’t… fucking… matter.

I cannot enjoy Sonic’s Lost Balls because it has some 2D levels in it. It’s CONTENT is not Sonic. At all.

I cannot stress this enough. Sonic hasn’t felt like Sonic after Heroes. Even with Colors returning to the techno-dreamworld, everything else just felt like a parody of itself. And putting in cute shit like old badniks isn’t cutting it. Classic fags didn’t even hate new sonic games because of the lack of easter eggs and shit. And making the game 2D doesn’t = classic fag worship. Especially with the half-assed job you did with Sonic 4! So wait. The kiddies get coddled higher budgets and production values, while the older fans get the episodic scraps for nourishment!? Classic Sonic in Generations was literally made to WORSHIP modern Sonic anyway. It’s like the game was beating you over the head with how insignificant the classic series is, and how epic the modern series is. EVERYONE took issues with the classic gameplay, even the oldschool fans, but everyone LOVED the modern gameplay. Why? Because there was EFFORT put into it. The Classic versions felt shallow and unpolished in comparison.

If you cared about trying to please both fans, you’d be giving out some equal treatment in the quality department. Making the game partially 2D is not going to stimulate da magic stick! Can’t raise the roof with no damn camera angle!

Zone: 0: Is it fair to say you’re finding it hard to make full use of certain characters like Shadow and Knuckles? It’s been awhile since they’ve had significant roles in a game?

Iizuka: Those sub-characters,

He says in a condescending tone…

Sonic’s friends, play a very important role in the universe. We really do want them to shine. For them to really shine, we have to make sure that Sonic himself actually can take the center stage. We wanted to make sure we focused on Sonic and his gameplay first and made sure that was what we focused on. In the meantime, we’ve had games like Mario & Sonic where the other characters have a place for people to enjoy them. It’s not like they’re completely being sidelined at all.

…Excuse me?

In the meantime, we’ve had games like Mario & Sonic where the other characters have a place for people to enjoy them. It’s not like they’re completely being sidelined at all.

Say it one more time.

We’ve had games like Mario & Sonic where the other characters have a place for people to enjoy them.






So wait. We can’t play other characters WITHIN THE DAMN GAMES THEY ORIGINATE FROM…. but we have to stomach shitty spinoffs to play as Knuckles? Shadow? Blaze even?

Unfortunately, SOJ is too retarded to fire Iizuka, but dammit he has to go. Telling the fans that they’ve got sports games to fall back on to play as different Sonic characters while they do nothing but cheerleader crap for Sonic to be awesome and…shit… and that’s somehow ok!?

Where is the logic and rational for these decisions!? And to tell us they haven’t been sidelined? They have NO PURPOSE in their own series for Amma’s sake! Tails’s own character development has been ignored just so Sonic can look “heroic”. Knuckles is a dumb fuck. Robotnik, a guy with enough cunning to take down Super Sonic can’t deal with normal freaks with no real powers?

No one but Sonic is playable within the Sonic series, and all of their unique traits have been given to Sonic via the Wisp powers, further making their inclusions in future Sonic titles utterly pointless. They HAVE been sidelined because Sonic is now given the Batman treatement. Sonic had limits, he had weaknesses, he had to rely on others. Tails could fly over gaps which Sonic wouldn’t be able to normally. knuckles could dig and break through walls with ease, something Sonic would need to muster enough energy and velocity to do himself. With these damn wisps, you’ve effectively removed their necessity, and I call bullshit. It isn’t fair to me or any of the fans who want to play as their OTHER favorite Sonic characters WITHIN THE SERIES ITSELF! And not rely on no fucking spinoffs.

I don’t play as Knuckles in the Olympics, I play some fat guy in a Knuckles suit doing ring toss competitions. I want to play Knuckles where I can fly and climb and punch the fuck out of robots. I want to play Tails where I can snipe mother fuckers with rings. I wanna play Shadow where I can freeze time and Chaos Spear seven enemies at once with no effort. A spinoff game (some random sports title) DOES NOT ALLOW ME TO DO THAT! As such, it’s NOT the same thing as playing the characters within their series canon. All I can do in the spinoffs is… is this,

SEGA Nerds: How do you find working with the Wii U hardware and the GamePad? Did Sonic: Lost World benefit from use of the GamePad?

I’m not even gonna bother as I know there’s nothing but lies about how people love the Pii U (no one likes it. At all)

And that’s the interview. More of Iizuka’s stupidity and general middle finger actions toward the fans is just what we needed. But it seems that Wisps are staying in order for Sonic to become obsessed with “intricacies” and “secrets”. Nothing ruins secrets more than knowing you’ll have to find some arbitrary collectables in “cleverly hidden areas” using the power of wisps and parkour which is nothing more than Espio’s wall running ability from Knuckles Chaotix.

At this point, I don’t know any REAL (yes, I’m going there) oldschool fans that would look at Lost Balls and say “Yo, I’ma buy dat shit son!” Not while a copy is sitting right next to the Last of Us.