Alright. This is the official name from now on.

What the fuck is this!? Sonic running away like a little bitch from a couple of laser beams from the weakest Sonic enemies in existence!? Tails getting his ass whooped!?

So in order to make these 6 deadly retards look deadly, you have to turn the main characters into a bunch of pussies!?


This is Sonic BLAZING THROUGH FUCKING MISSILES! Beating whole sale ass on godless killing machines. And yet he does absolutely nothing with the egg hornets?

Oh yeah, this is also Robotnik BEATING FUCKING SUPER SONIC! And he just gets busted up by the Joker and fat fuck. His two robots useless as always

Oh look, CD Sonic lookin slick as ever kicking all kinds of shiny metal asses back in the past!

Oh what? Because his best friend Tails got hurt? What in the fuck was the point of Sonic Adventure 1 and 2 where he had to prove his worth to Sonic!? Wasn’t that supposed to be his major point of character development!? Becoming stronger!? He didn’t even get hurt, he just got blown away by wall debris. What, where the last 7 years of being nothing but Sonic’s translator making you a bit sluggish to kick some ass!? After all, you used to be able to thunder shoot your allies and use rings to snipe robots from afar.

Making Sonic a pink ass music note wasn’t enough for you sadistic bastards, was it!?

Fuck it.  I need something to take the pain away.

Ok… sweater puppets will do.

One more month… dammit…

No… really. This is bullshit. I refuse to believe that these are the same characters who faced off against gods. Looking at what these freak shows do, I’m shocked that no one is becoming nostalgic of the days that Sonic legitimately got his ass beat by Silver. It’s believable. He had psychic powers at least. Robotnik having enough cunning to take down Super Sonic and rob his ass of his powers is a feat in itself (something only Knuckles had claim to in the past) And tails. Again, why is he such a pussy now!? His little developments in the Adventure series up to 06 means nothing now!? Then again, he did cower in fear of some gaia monsters, beings who couldn’t make a baby shit itself. And coming off of Sonic 06, where Tails fought against fucking HELL SPAWNS!? DEMONIC LOOKING ALIENS!? A little egg hornet laser is enough to tire him out!?

SOJ, stop raping the Sonic franchise. Please.