After E3, all eyes are on Killer Instinct 3 and Super Smash Bros. 4. While the surprise announcement of Sega’s exclusive partnership and “new gameplay ideas” had some folks running around with thoughts, the last few trailers have left more to be desired beyond more information.

Despite it’s new gameplay ideas of a “Parkour system”, no one is really excited for this game. Why is that? A new gameplay twist should be something to look forward to, right?

It’s actually 3 things.

1. No one cares about gameplay innovations.

2. The content is shit.

3. No one has faith in Sonic games anymore after the journalists beat the shit out of Sonic games.

The only people who are supporting this and are still excited are the same fuckwits who think Smash Bros. will boost sales for the Pii U. That’s truly how shallow the game feels. From the enemies to the levels, the game feels like recycled content with no ambition. Iizuka’s interviews are all evident of one thing. Strict focus on trying to find the “perfect gameplay” while making illogical decisions putting in several levels people will get sick of.

The last time people got really hyped up for a Sonic game was Sonic 06. Why? Because people expected a thrilling adventure. Instead of crappy trailers showing off gameplay, we got trailers showing Sonic doing his usual thing with the onset of damn good music. Yes, 06 failed, hard, but people are confused as to why it became a platinum hit for the assballs 360. Because it captivated people and generated interest.

What do you see here? New Mysterious characters, thrilling speeds, a mecha wolf, a strange princess and Robotnik having a moderate redesign. The game was filled with mystery. Something to be explored. The game had ambition. It looked like a grand new beginning for Sonic the Hedgehog. Hell, they even named it so to imply a new beginning. This game had people talking for months.

Compare this to the trailer we have for Lost Mind.

There’s no ambition. 6 ugly monsters terrorize tiny woodland creatures. Here’s Sonic to save the day! And we get a glimpse of new moves that aren’t new at all, but instead reintroduced moves from previous games. Sonic can now run up trees. Joy. Sonic has some weird Sonic Boom attack which came from Sonic Battle, and the homing attack has features of a typical light speed attack from Sonic Adventure 2. Oh and the 3DS version (which looks admittedly but mildly better than the Pii U version) has puzzles. Fucking hell!

This is a Nintendo brand tactic. Recycled content up the ass. Sonic 06 looked new and enticing. Lost Mind looks old and rusted before it could even get a release date.

Sonic Colors enticed people because it looked new and exciting what with new alien powers and the return of incredibly vibrant worlds. Generations was exciting was exciting because it recreated Classic Sonic in a new generation, and seeing Chemical Plant again was awesome, not to mention Stardust Speedway. Sonic Racing Transformed looked exciting because of the titular element of having your vehicle change mid race (while this was already in Zero gravity, that game sucked ass). Sonic 4 Episode 2 looked more enticing than Episode 1 due to more cool looking levels and the return of Tails as a coop characer rather than the all-too familiar episode 1 (techno dreamworld wins again).

There’s nothing enticing about Lost Mind. No ambition, no interesting or appealing content, and a giant focus on “developer goals” such as “achieving 60FPS”.

The same reason people aren’t excited for SSB4 (Barely any discussion beyond “who do you think is gonna get in”) is the same reason people aren’t excited for this game. There’s no new content or ambition. Or a general care of trying to get people interested. It’s like they’re taking fan support for granted. The only thing that was exciting about Lost Mind was the first picture we got of the game. Why?

Because it looked new an exciting. At least for Sonic. It looked like Little Planet from CD. Plus, has there ever been a planet or moon based on hexagonal shapes? But as soon as the trailer came out, all interest was lost. Why? Because it literally looks like a game made exclusively for children.

If there’s one consolation, Sega’s trying to get away from the spectacle curse they’ve had with the series, but now the question remains at what cost? Virtually all appeal that was left in the franchise? The internet swears this game is gonna be the shit, but what do they know? Afterall, they swear Unleashed is a terrible game too. Why? Because of the Werehog.

Why did the Werehog receive so much backlash when no one cared to mention what was wrong with the gameplay beyond feeling like God of War? Afterall, it’s supposedly not wrong for Castlevania to rip off God of War, but for Sonic the Hedgehog it’s a mortal sin. Then again, I forgot Sonic has no appeal so it’s free game to bash the fuck out of it. But lets all be honest with why Werehog gets hated.

Because Werehog looks fucking retarded.

I mean what is that shit!? A reject from the Rampage series!?

This is the only factual reason as to why Werehog was hated. I mean, why else would people claim that “had the Werehog been Knuckles instead, the Night stages would’ve been better!”? I don’t disagree with that statement at all, shit I WANT Knuckles to kick ass, but it’s clear that Sonic fans obviously don’t care about issues surrounding gameplay. They’re probably the most shallow fanbase outside of Graphic whores and Wii bashers. What’s the point of having good or decent gameplay if you don’t look cool doing it? Character design is very important for any medium (something that anime no longer has unless there’s maximum sized titties all over the place). And for a franchise that was about being “cool”, that werehog is anything but.

That said, why the fuck would it be hard to grasp the fact that Sonic fans aren’t at all interested in Lost Mind? It’s so uncool. A level based entirely around food has never been cool. Ever. And that’s currently Lost Mind’s biggest showcase. Levels based around fucking food. That there would be six levels of. That players would get sick of. Which is intentional.

Sonic games need something to reinvigorate interest in the series, but all Sega can seem to think of is recycling content for cute shit like “Oil Ocean Cannon shortcuts”.

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