Well, I think it’s too late for the game industry to stop being shit. Nintendo has denied entertainment for the sake of creativity and hardware gimmicks, Sony and Microsoft are making consoles not for gamers but for 3rd party developers, 3rd parties are out of control and in a desperate bid to control the video game market (Now you need permission from EA to sell their shitty Madden games), People are already finding excuses to defend the X1, and Sonic is relying on nostalgia to sell games now. The game industry is getting ass raped by the economy and everyone is starting to lose their damn minds.

So, it’s nice to know that gamers themselves are trying to create their own entertainment, and turns out they do a better job than the devs themselves. Here’s a few fan games that, more or less, saves you money on the industry’s constant stream of trash.

1. Streets of Rage Remix. (By Bombergames)


Yes, before Sega rammed their long dick of the “lawl” on the internet, this was the shit! For those unfamiliar with one of the best damn beat em ups in the universe, Streets of Rage was a trilogy of games where you played martial arts using cops to beat up assholes for not doin the time. The first game was the only one where you played Adam Hunter, then the sequels came where his crap ass brother Eddie took his place. This is the only other SOR game that brings him back. Though he has generic combat movies, it feels just so wonderful to have him updated. In a game with fully remixed music, a refined game engine, over 91 levels (GODDAMN!), a motorcycle level (I think that was supposed to be in SOR3 but was taken out for some reason) and even more characters to choose from, you need to find this ish before it’s taken off the net forever. I just wish Adam had something other than that silly tackle but hey, beggers can’t be choosers. I mean, after Backbone showed off concepts for an SOR4, I wish Bombergames was still updating and would add like… another special move where Adam Muay Thai kicks a crowd of enemies across the screen in green lightening! That would be soooo beast.

Many of the levels are (of course) updated versions of the originals, but they’re not put into a trilogized order. …..Trilogized, the fuck am I talkin about…. anywho. The only thing I really don’t like is the art work. It just seems…. iffy at best (not the ones in this wallpaper). But hey, whatever works. A lot of sound effects come from the King of Fighters series (I wonder why everyone uses those sound effects. They’re so redundant). And in higher levels, you might get stunlocked if you’re not too careful. The game is pretty easy one hand though so one might get bored just fighting endless drones. I like how they took CPU controlled partners from Final Fight 3 and implemented them into the game (although they’re stupid enough to get stuck on a wall in the final level when you need to escape from a burning building…. and you get a time over… and you have to start all over……FUUU-)

What pisses me off is that Sega refuses every damn time to have a new entry in the series, they ALWAYS reject/cancel a new entry… but they want to shut down a fan game. Fuckin assholes, I swear. Shit is just nice.

2. Sega Brawlers Megamix (By a DJ…Iguana?)

Speaking of Sega being assholes, you know the phrase “leaving money on the table?”

Everyone wants it. Sega to make a Smash Bros. clone. I mean, they got plenty of characters to reach from.  Instead, they made a racing game with Billy fucking Hatcher, and an RPG crossover with Namco and Capcom (ironically, the same people that constantly stole markets away with Tekken and Monster Hunter respectively.). Fuckers.

Well at least someone took up the slack. The game is in the same style as a beat em up, not a straight up Smash clone so if you’re already used to the genre, this game will feel right at home. And dammit, it’s just fun. Taking out Knuckles and beating the literal FUCK out of everyone else never felt so good (and since it’s a more improved “Battle” Knuckles, just makes the vengeance even sweeter . While the controls might leave someone with an embolism, mashing buttons work just fine as you’ll be smashing several enemies at once. While SORR is your more standard refined SOR, SBM is more chaotic. If you have a team of characters fighting another team, forget trying to decipher the action, you will die if you do not spam Knux’s rocks. Like Smash Bros., there’s 50% of characters that rock…and the other 50 being Mewtwos or Yoshis (IE never… ever play with them. You will lose). The ones that are good usually come from a sizable portion of Action games, the ones that aren’t…. well, you get the idea. The way I see it, Chronos (From Golden Axe 3) is this game’s stand out rapist. He can somersault twice in the air, quickly combo into a dash attack and continue to melee juggle like nobody’s business. I mean SHIT! Wolverine from MVC would piss himself in the mighty terror that is the Black Panther. Joe Musashi stands no chance against him. ( 😦 )

Some characters could really benefit from more work (Ristar and Vectorman in particular) and some character choices are… weird or seem like they were put in just to fill up roster space (Dinosaurs for Hire? Really?). But hey, it’s nice to know someone else remembers Eternal Champions (WHERE’S MIDNIGHT!?). I’m sure someone is bitching about rap music (hell, most of the soundtrack is from Madworld and… I guess some Madworld unreleased tracks or something? I’m not sure). Many of the stages were taken from Streets of Rage, Ristar, and some were original designs put together. It’s not bad, but could use more work in general. If you need a Sega  Smash clone, this is probably the closest one you’ll ever get. Just… don’t use Toejam or Earl. You will die. Infinite times.

There’s also a Wii version, but it doesn’t work. Hurray for perpetual carpel tunnel on the keyboard.

3. Castlevania: The Bloodletting (By Pisces Dreams)

I…. love… Castlevania. Yes, it’s a series about European devils fighting vampires, but fuck it. I love Castlevania. Sadly, a lot of CV titles are hard to come by unless you love handhelds and aren’t sick of the obligatorily named “Metroidvania” sub-series. While there is a WiiWare title and an HD downloadable MMO, none of these games feel particularly new… or like Castlevania.

Castlevania, the Bloodletting fulfills that role nicely by giving you the cancelled 32X game…. sort of. I don’t really know. Nor do I give a fuck, this game rips ass. You’re playing someone named Harker Belmont (Jonothan Harker infused with Belmont. Cute) who’s the Son of Richter (He’s not the greatest Belmont, guys) who goes back to his homeland to find it was razed to the ground. So naturally, he goes to Castlevania to rip ass. The game plays so smoothly and feels like a natural castlevania title. That said, there isn’t much I can say about any gameplay features. Those who know Castlevania know what to expect. Good music, good ass action, and nearly dying to enemies (well, not this time. Your character actually has mobility for once)

As far as I can see, the game seems to be flawless aside from the occasional whip swinging behind your character for some reason. Another thing is the need to use back flips to get over some gaps in stages. That’s awkward and unintuitive. You needing to face away from the gap and pressing jump twice. Ugh. The Back flip was not made for tricky jumps. It was made as an evasive action to avoid taking damage (it was a shitty movie, but it’s intent is clear). And you have to do several of these damn jumps in the first… fucking level. Way to be accessible, Pisces Dream.

These were… few of the recent fan games I’ve been playing for a while. Others I would recommend is Sonic Robo Blast 2, Charlie the Duck, and there was this old Mario game I played years back that had like only six levels. I think it was just called Mario and Luigi, it had no music. It’s probably ass by today’s standards.