Yurugu must be having a field-day ruining people’s lives.

You know, growing up, I’ve always gotten into arguments with people about what makes you a “true fan” of something. There’s no such thing, really. If you like something, you’re a fan, period. If you like something that has a bad reputation, you obviously want to get a little hands on to improve the situation.

When Sonic’s appeal was completely eroded during the 4 years between Shadow the Hedgehog to Secret Rings, everyone got onto the internet to post their ideas of how to save Sonic the Hedgehog. Sega has practically done nothing more than sit back and listen, and for the most part, nearly drove the series into the ground by caving in. Unfortunately, now, it seems the majority of people LOVE the idea of Mario and Sonic being in bed together which would explain the rampant successes of Mario and Sonic at the Olympics, and while some have expressed concern over this partnership between Sega and Nintendo on Sonic game exclusivity, I can assure you that EVERYONE is warming up to those ideas. So the next thing we can expect is Nintendo firmly buying Sega. Trust me on this. That’s gonna happen. And all the little Nintards are going to love it and turn Sonic into something he’s not. A shallow Mario clone.

Why’s that, you ask? Because this is what the internet is demanding. Now, we all have the issue of believing that game companies should always listen to their fans. That’s not true 100% of the time. It’s nice to know game companies want fan input, but when a fanbase is so goddamn stupid, we get bad results (like Shadow the Hedgehog). Unfortunately, the fanbase does not believe they hold any responsibility whatsoever in regards to how the franchise is turning out. Why? Because it “ultimately comes down to the creators”. While true to an extent (no one wanted a gun in the series), I think it’s been proven that Sega can do better without fan input most of the time, because when they usually implement fan ideas into games, they more often than not fuck up.

Now, no one asked for Sonic Colors or Generations, and for the most part, they turned out fine. Everyone asks for Sonic 4 and it gets shat on. Sonic 06 was everyone wanting an Adventure 3. We get more boosting in Sonic games due to the insane love for the Rush games on the DS.

We assume that Sega makes shitty games based off of Sonic alone, but we never talk about Super Monkey Ball, Virtua Fighter, House of the dead, Yakuza, or anything of that nature. See, those games have tiny fanbases, which is why Sega can go in and still make pretty damn good games off of those properties. Turn around to Sonic which gets more requests and input, you get mediocrity.

The fans give more input than they need. And as such, need to accept at least some responsibility in how the series has turned out now. Thanks to Sonic Retro, now I can’t get that “Sonic Galaxy” image out of my head, so we have Sonic starting to slowly turn into Mario, which is what the fans wanted. The Sonic fanbase has exerted more power and influence on a video game series more than any other fanbase I’ve ever known. And what’s worse, now many of them are becoming bronies.

I don’t know how or why this “phenomena” started, but it’s already sickening to see grown men pretend that it’s ok to like girly shit. See, I’ve noticed that men have become increasingly more feminine as the years go by, and that’s mostly due to the rise of homo/metrosexual fads overcoming the intent of nature. Usually, men would just hide their fascinations and never speak of them, but due to some grand joke by Yurugu, the internet has probably given these manchildren the mentality that you can “come out” and express your love of the series to people in the most debilitating ways. Look at this mess here.

Though we don’t often realize it, young men (approx. age 13-29) are constrained by a variety of social norms. (The same applies to any other demographic, of course.) We tend to enjoy badass things like superheroes and martial arts. (Well we’re mostly internet nerds so we don’t do much martial arts, but we watch martial arts movies etc.) We spend a lot of time playing Halo or Modern Warfare, killing aliens and terrorists. This is all fine; we actually do enjoy this stuff. But for most of our lives, we have been socially prohibited from enjoying anything cute, pure or innocent. (Even our comedies are crude.) This prohibition is so strong that we don’t even realize it’s there; we don’t even think about various styles of entertainment which don’t fit within our social norms. (And those who deviate are often derrided as “fags” etc.) This has created a kind of emotional malnutrition; we have not allowed ourselves to consume as much cuteness, pureness or innocence in our media as we would actually like to consume.

And yet, Pokemon fans are more comfortable expressing themselves than most people. Men are not prohibited from anything revolving around cute shit (go to Japan and see for yourselves). They’re encouraged to not get into shit for little girls. That’s the key difference. Men SHOULD like cute shit. Why? Well tell me, man to man. Do you like this?

Dawwwwwww

Who the fuck wouldn’t!? Well, except those bigoted assholes who think “children suck” or whatever.

It’s not impossible for men to like cute shit. In fact, it should be encouraged, especially since we have a situation where we have fatherless children being born into this world. You know another thing about fathers? They don’t like to watch kids shows. But if they’ve got kids that beg them to watch, they go ahead and do it because they love their kids. Amma help them if they’re daughters and they’re made to watch some ass cheese called MLP. Oh wait, MLP has references that adults would understand, huh?

Guess what? That’s only so those fathers wouldn’t feel like they’re wasting their fucking time watching that bullshit. Not so the show can appeal to a broader audience. Or so you can go around collecting little girl’s toys to express your love of the show.

And it’s not even legitimate love of the show. If you truly love something, you don’t need to go out of your way to prove it on the internet. You just do it without a care in the world. See, these bronies don’t really love the show. They’ve admitted multiple times that they do this shit to mock the societal norms of America. As if this is somehow a liberating experience. And I can’t help but to laugh because it’s the most retarded shit I’ve ever heard. You’re not “inspirational” because you go against societal norms. You’re just making asses of yourselves. Buying the toys, the decorations, the DVDs, whatever, does not entitle you to respect. And believe, Bronies have some serious self-entitlement issues on a scale similar to Nintard levels. If someone expresses their bile of MLP, that should be perfectly fine. But these batshit mother fuckers will raid your ass and make-believe they’re doing karate horse kicks in your face if you so much as express disdain for a particular stallion.

It wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t mention their status as Yurugu’s mistakes on EVERY GODDAMN FORUM IN THE COSMOS! You could even be on a forum about…. women’s tits, who knows, and they bring that pony shit up. If you tell them to shut up about it, they will bitch and moan and talk about “how hard it is to be accepted in a world that was ruined by 9/11”. Hey, asshole, that shit is a tragedy in itself. Don’t use people’s deaths to push your agenda on others. We don’t give a rat’s ass, 2/5’s of a fuck about your desires to be loved! You know how you can be loved? Put on a straight jacket, have someone duck tape your mouths, and roll your ass in a ditch somewhere. Niggas wanna jack off to titties, you mopey fucks! Don’t make me get Action Hank on yo ass!

It wouldn’t be so bad if MLP wasn’t such a shitty toy brand that people didn’t get into until they made some cheap ass, flash animated cartoon years down the road and it all of a sudden becomes popular because kids today are so fucked up in their heads and have zero standards whatsoever. Bronies are like the homosexual communities that exist in the media back houses of hip hop and even the educational system who seem more and more determined to push their “ways” onto others, like most white folks do. And when people say “leave me the hell alone”, they kick and scream demanding respect. And usually, they go so far as to completely defame a person for not wanting that shit to the point that the “suspect” caves in, apologizes, and is forced to experience their “ways” until they accept and love it in the same vain as these assholes.

These are dangerous shit birds with an agenda. So believe me when I say they do not belong within the Sonic fandom. Sega, as I’ve said a million times already, are taking hints from Sonic fans who, for all intents and purposes, are the mutated offspring dregs of Nintards and Anime fans who only got into the fandom through that bullshit Sonic X and Gamecube ports. These are the same dumbasses who think Nintendo owns the IP to Sonic despite having games on several different consoles. And these are the same fucks who demand Sonic to be more like Mario every chance they get. I think I speak for the, ahem….. TRUE FANS (*gasps*) when I say “we can do bad by ourselves”. Sega’s already invoking light-hearted atmosphere into the series exclusively if the last 5 Sonic games are anything to go by, I swear if the next Sonic game is called “Rainbows” or whatever (Colors was bad enough), that will be the day Sonic truly dies. Bronies have imperialistic tendencies to push their mindsets on other people, deliberately and feverishly. I personally don’t want Sega to get the wrong fuckin ideas about Sonic games being about “the power of friendship” or “life lessons” that no one gave a shit about back with “Sonic Sez” segments. Because mark my words, looking at the Six Deadly Retards and the “family friendly” Nintendo Partnership, that’s where we are headed.

Now, if I may be redundant, you can like whatever the fuck you want, and that’s fine. But when I see some shit like this:

FUCK YOU! You’ve crossed the moral event horizon.

The Sonic fandom needs to establish some standards because at this point, this is going too far. We’ve already allowed the Nintards to cannibalize the fandom enough as it is. So if these Bronies start becoming the majority demographic, that’s the fucking end of it. Sonic will be doomed to “magical fairies and witches” with nothing cool or epic about them. We’ll continue to have cheesy ass music like “Colors feel so bright” and more cheerleading friends with words of encouragement and no involvement with the ass kicking, and more nonsensical plots about “Sonic and Eggman teaming up for the first time” even though they’ve teamed up about several million times in the past, fuck man! When Sega says “they didn’t know fans wanted to play other characters besides Sonic”, tis the time to SHUT THE FUCK UP! Fan input is contributing more and more to Sonic’s demise, and I know it’s a hard pill to swallow for many of you people. Curse and scream at companies like CAPCOM! NINTENDO! KONAMI! They’re the main ones going out of control by screwing their fans over. And that NAMCO!? Stop fucking up Soul Calibur! I LIKED Taki you assholes! Now I gotta play this blond, flat-chested bore with no personality and even shittier moves!?

As for the Bronies reading and foaming at mouth, leave. Please leave. Your presence within the fanbase is undesirable. Lepers avoid you. You are all weeds, fungi, dregs of this earth. Spineless little worms deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. You’re proof that every good gene pool has a shallow end. I hope you never have children. It would truly be a shame if you infected this world with your poisoned seed. Then again, looking at your mortifying lifestyle, you couldn’t get laid in a morgue.

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