FUCKING YOSHI YARN! COMING SOON TO THE WII U!

The more shit I hear from Nintendo, the more I want another Dreamcast.

Yoshi…. is my number 1 favorite Mario character. Ever. You have a dinosaur, first of all, that can eat yo ass up, shit you out, and toss you at enemies. Not to mention it’s a dinosaur.

And everyone game that starred Yoshi has been (fuck you Wanda Sykes) absolutely gay.

And I can’t find any other word to describe this shit beyond “Gay”. Why the fuck would anyone want a YOSHI YARN game!?

Does… Nintendo hate Yoshi or something!? Every game he stars in is some sugar coated bullshit. Peep it.

Coloring book graphics with cry baby bastard. GAY!

Super happy fruit. GAY!

Yoshi’s Cookies! Yoshi’s DAMN cookies!

I’m sure EVERYONE was comfortable buying this load of shit. >_>

Infact, why did most of NIntendo’s DS games have adverts have the slogan “touching is good”!? Did they think “dirty thoughts” were a good image for a “family friendly” ass company!?

I don’t think Nintendo is in touch with their market! Don’t nobody want this Yarn bullshit! I don’t know what Nintendo is thinking! Lets review:

How the fuck is Yarn “Epic”!?

As far as I can tell you, this game bombed in all markets. Even Japan! There’s a nice little misconception that just because the Japanese like cute shit, this game would sell. BUT LOW AND BEHOLD! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE!?

Oh of course, Kirby hasn’t ever been stellar on the sales charts. But everyone is just ok with that to accept the retardification of the series?!

Something tells me Nintendo is getting too old. Old people like to knit to pass the time. So for Nintendo to pass the time in development, they make games based off of Yarn and call it “creativity” and uniqueness. And everyone will lick their asses over some half-baked reasoning that it’s just a quirky “art style” to show off the HD graphics. Fuck that shit. Is ANYONE  going to pay 60 fucking dollars for some shit that was designed for old people to not feel bad about knitting quilts until they take a dirt nap!?

The Yoshi games have never been popular because Nintendo makes the series far too fucking gay for it to matter. This Yarn shit ain’t helping it one bit. And for a character I LOVE, this is a fucking embarassment! He looks like a fucking welfare toy made by granny while having alzheimers disease.

And to top it off, they’re making an HD remake of that piece of shit Wind Waker. Fuck it. I can’t stay a Nintendo fan and just accept more bullshit that not even the fucking fans want! NO ONE WANTS A YARN GAME!

During the gamecube days, people have said that Nintendo “tells their fans what to like”. This has to be true given that Nintendo doesn’t like making games we actually WANT to play! And the ones we do?

THEY HALF ASS IT!

Can anyone find any noticible differences between NSMB and NSMB2!? NSMBW and NSMBU!?

NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

This is Nintendo’s output I see nowadays.

 

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