Children are, sometimes, one of the best types of people to be around. Why? They have no standards. They have no knowledge. They have nothing but their own imaginations.

When they look at a particular object, they may not have a damn clue what it is or what it does. But instantly, they make up their own minds about it and call it something else. Instantly, a little tree stick can become a sword to find monsters. Or a slide can be a space shuttle to a new world.

The best part about being a child is not knowing a damn thing in this world. Not being expected to give a fuck is even better. You can make up your own mind about anything and people would be ok with it.

Adults often use the phrase “if only I could see the world through a child’s eyes”. The reason being is the acquisition of knowledge and the expectations of acting your age has become a big priority when you grow up. As an adult, you have no choice. Children have no responsibilities and can only focus on playtime. So they’re left to their own devices. The only thing children have to worry about is following the rules… and homework.

When you’ve been exposed to a certain environment for an extended period of time, that environment becomes you. Or you can take a bastard out of prison, but you can’t take prison out of a bastard. When you’re an environment where you’re expected to know shit or be right… or learn for fuckin argument, you start looking at things as set in stone facts. This is the way things run and that’s the end of it. You can’t bring yourself out of that mindset. You need logic and facts to be a part of everything now. Even…. video games.

It’s quite funny how video games are the least important activities anyone can partake in and yet treat it as if it’s a life and death situation, especially in regards to storylines. Video games really don’t need storylines so much as they need to be really fun. But developers understand that within …..America at least, that gamers are exposed to the environment of needing to know the “why” they do shit. “Question everything” being our motto. So what happens is games get stories which used to range from simple shit. Save the princess to bang the princess. That was it. That’s all that was needed.

Later on in life, most of the series that had simple storylines with no intentions of being bigger than that went through severe changes. Suddenly, creators wanted to focus on creating a timeline of events to establish which games are important to pay attention to in regards to storyline and what isn’t. This results in games getting bigger, more convoluted storylines than ever before. Games made during the 64bit era don’t have the problem of jacked up canon. But games made during the 8bit and even 16bit era? Oh Amma, you’re get some jacked up canon.




Street Fighter

King of Fighters

Mega Man (to an extent)

Hell, lets toss Metroid into the mix due to Sakamoto’s bullshit statements regarding the Prime series.

Due to the environment where everyone wants to be right on every marker, we get a million arguments on internet forums in regards to what’s canon and what’s not. People become intensified during canon arguments. Because dammit, Sonia Belmont exists!

The power of blonds cause a thousand shit storms

The issue of canon is the accentuation of one’s ego. We often theorize and interpret stories to works we may not fully understand after just one viewing or play through. The problem is that we often assume that our theory is the “right” theory. What happens next is that a user may research works of fiction obsessively just to verify if his/her theories and ideas are the most accurate. If so, then an ego boost ensues and this person lurks around internet forums, waiting to pounce on the first person to make a contradictory statement in regards to his/her accurate theories.

This becomes a huge issue especially in regards to video games. Video games already provide an environment where people are preoccupied with their own egos. Competition is rampant. So if you get enough nerds to run around about a video game’s storyline, you will find a war more fierce than conflicting religious views.

Another reason behind why we may want to have an accurate interpretation of canon is due to some worship of the creators. Hardcore gamers especially have a sick… sick… obsession with the creators of their favorite video games.

I got away with the Virtual boy! HOHOHOHO!

So with all the wacky shit that goes on in the world of creator worship, people are adamant that they get the creator’s vision right. If the creator’s intended for something to be a certain way, that’s the fucking end of it for the fans. You will not be allowed to contradict or reinterpret “official details given by the creators” by decree of the fans themselves. To do so is a sin punishable by death!

Some of this might be due to pity for the creators given how strict publishers can be with creative control, and whilist understandable given the nature of HOLLYWOOD, people exxagerate how detrimental executive meddling can be. But that’s aside the issue.

One notable example of how obsessive fans can be about accurate canon interpretations would be this video done by OcarinaHero. Here, he demonstrates the sad, sad state of how much people care obsessively in regards to affirming a specific canon of their preferred series.

Listen to what he says. He specifically asks Nintendo on “how good he did”. He doesn’t seek to gain insight on the creator’s intentions at all. He seeked validation for wasting his goddamn time.

Trying to establish what is canon and what isn’t is more than just trying to get an accurate view of what the true story is. It’s more so an act of supremacy. Gamers are learning fictional canon details…. for fucking argument.

This really just gets into the “I’m the biggest fan of them all” competitions that have been going on for generations. We’re all so stupid when it comes to getting official details right.

Take for example Sonic CD. For Wadjet knows… what reason, people will argue that this game takes place before Sonic 2 or after Sonic 3 based on Tails and Metal Sonic’s forms.

Why can’t we just come together to form something more awesome!?

What’s even more delicious is that in recent interviews with Ken bitchface who says there is no real placement for Sonic CD except that it takes place before Sonic 4, the fanbase will STILL fight about it. Now some guys will lie and say it was confirmed to be after 3 still.

Or how about this plot guide on Street Fighter? Ignoring how shitty the storyline is, skip allllllll the way down to where it says “SFZ3 can’t be canon!!” as well as the part titled “pgVIITiamatJerk” where he states that he “painfully researches” shit that really does not impact your enjoyment of a game. True, perhaps people could be a little more respectful to those that go through all of this shit just to get some coherency on what the fuck the story is, I think by the time SF4 came out, it’s proven that Capcom couldn’t give 2 fucks about “Canon” since Bison is still alive after SF2, making the whole plot guide (in essence) a giant waste of time.

And if Capcom couldn’t give a fuck, neither should you.

For some reason, gamers are giving these creators and developers more power and authority than they deserve. When people talk about Sakamoto and is feelings toward the Prime series being canon or a side story, they try so hard to figure out if he hates or likes the prime games in order to confirm whether or not the prime series is canon. Who gives a fuck what he thinks? He DESTROYED SAMUS ARAN’S CHARACTER! Samus will never be the same again thanks to this jackass. The entire fanbase wishes to forget that Other M happened, and yet for some reason, people are still debating Sakamoto’s ideas on the Prime series.

Here’s a little statement from the Smash Bros. community in regards to being able to use exploits. Their main deal is that the creators can do whatever they want to the game, they can intend for a lot of features to be used a certain way, but when the game is in the hands of the customers, the creator’s input ends there. It is now yours. You can do whatever the hell you want with it.

I don’t like giving the Smash community too much credit because many of them happen to be clinically insane people, but perhaps we need to start taking a few tips from them in regards to what we consider ownership. Brawl wouldn’t have been awesome if not for Project M as it’s turned the game into our personal form of Mugen! If that isn’t tight, I don’t know what is.

Why can’t we apply the same ideals toward video game canon? The creator’s input ends when you purchase something and the product is yours. You do whatever the hell you want.

Back then, video games never really had a story beyond the manual. But we never read that shit, so we were free to make up our own minds in regards to storylines.

YES! Knuckles was a girl in Sonic 3! FUCK YOU!

We don’t have that kind of freedom today because creators are now trying to create accurate storylines for gamers to follow. What happens is that we have yet another factor of why games aren’t so fun these days.

The solution is to hope those games have a “skip this bullshit cutscene” option, go into games with a virgin mind untainted by the creator’s “vision”. Video games were made with the intent of you having control. That’s how they should be. When games start shoving a story into your face with skip option, that is the creator declaring war on the goal of the medium. Who cares what the creator’s intended? They can intend for a lot of things, that should have ZERO IMPACT on your enjoyment of a video game. If it gets in the way, the creator’s have failed.

So why won’t people ignore the visions of the creator’s and instead of making up their own visions?

Well…. I think that idea goes back to religion. Religion is basically a construct that uses morals and stories to create and sustain social order. Western religions have gone off the deep end and caused people to, instead of creating social order, teach people to give up their power and put it into another plane of existence. IE God. You can’t be God because you can’t do what the so-called “good book” says you can do. Can you part waters? Flood the world? Anything? Then you can’t be God. And you can’t debate that because this book said so. Therefore, shut the fuck up while I stone yo ass to death!

The same idea applies, because hardcore gamers treat video games as a religion and treat the creators as “gods”. Heh. “The almighty creator”. The creator ordained that Link fails in Ocarina of Time in order to give way to the failure timeline where all the GOOD zelda games take place. That is the fucking end of it.

When you think about it, Canon sounds similar to “Canaan” which is the origin of Christianity’s god whom is sometimes called “Yahweh”. He who musters armies. In this sense, Game “Canon” musters legions of fanboys to go into flame wars on the internet when it comes to interpreting a work.

We as gamers need to stop treating game Canon as a religion of itself. These creators are human beings. They are not immortal gods who shalt not e defied. Believe it or not, we have MORE power than the creators ever will. And yeah, the creators themselves will try to defy your power many times (DLC bribes to take away your options of purchasing a game for example).

I say “fuck the canon”. Make up your own minds about a certain work. If you think Street Fighter’s Storyline is shit, make up your own and act them out in-game. Or write fan-fiction. But for FUCK’S SAKE, avoid making Mary-Sue’s.

I…. HATE…. Mary sue’s!