I’ve been playing God Eater for the PSP (unfortunate, I know) like… nonstop. Mainly because of the sword pictured above. This weapon is known as the Wild Sword: Laoyang which has the ability to stun Aragami (monsters). Upgrading  the weapons in this game, however, happens to be a bitch. Mainly due to the fact that the materials you gain are extremely hard to come by. Why?


I have to fight this asshole 100 million butt fucking times in a row. And no, that faggot is not my character.

2. Emperor fangs have a drop rate of 10% at best, but supposedly more so if you can crack the head open. And considering the head has a wretched amount of defense, combined with the fact that he wont stand still (speedy mother fucker too) as well as having the most sporadic enemy pattern in the history of mankind, this is quite frankly the most tedious fucking drop to get.

This is insanity at this point. I thought Grand Chase was terrible about this. Actually no, Grand Chase is STILL worse about drop rates (10% is better than 2% especially for 3rd classes). I could understand if it was a quadriga or something, but this asshole is faster than the speed of sound.

So when I finally DO crack the head and kill it, I still have only a 10% chance of getting the emperor fang. I’ve been able to crack that bitch open 12 times, and I have YET to get a 4th emperor fang! I’ve gotten 3 without doing the head buster.  Increases chances my ass.

Now how do you think I feel? I’ve fought this thing like 78 times right now and it is taking forever to get one drop that I need to move my sword up a level. I finally learned how to bust some heads open and I don’t have shit to show for it! What a fantastic way to make the players feel rewarded by giving them NOTHING!

There are… so many games like this at this point. Where you can research, train, and perform 100% of the time and STILL not get a drop you want. Had this game been like “ok, break this part and you will ALWAYS get the parts you need”, then this would be better. This would encourage the players to practice more on breaking certain parts of monsters which in turn also increases their chances of killing monsters faster. Attacking weak points should be far more rewarding beyond just having an easier time killing monsters. There should be more benefits within doing this. Giving players better drops would do a fine job. But for some reason, RPG makers put in this damned RNG method to make sure players keep doing the same things over and over again.

RNG serves ZERO purpose in video games these days than to create fake addiction. It’s the result of lazy game design excused only as a means of replay value by masochistic hardcore gamers. As a result, games with RPG elements have become a chore to play. 2 games come to mind with this.

Castlevania games on the DS.

And mother fucking Pokemon.

Pokemon deserves a special mention. Starting with Gen 3 or 4, the capture rates for pokemon are all over the place. A legendary did not take over 50 ultra balls to capture when their vitals were false swiped, unless there’s some asspull hidden value that makes captures less successful. Gamefreak loves them some hidden values. Another thing they love are tedious ass methods of merely encountering a Pokemon! Take for example…

One bad mother fucker.

This is my all time favorite bug pokemon in the entire series. Why? Everyone loves to use Ice types because of their dreaded fears of Salamence and Garchomp. He’s the greatest troll I could ever use. Then again, everyone is gay for stone edge.

Now, look at this.

HONEY TREES! The bane of my existence.

The honey tree feature was a new method of catching pokemon in Diamond, Pearl, and Platinum. As usual with clinically insane pokemon fans, this is a legitimate means of catching pokemon because it “rewards patience“. What fuckery is that!?

Lets review. Honey trees are similar to headbutt trees in they have exclusive kinds of pokemon that appear randomly. Now, unlike HB trees, honey trees are a million times worse due to how the process goes.

1. You have to buy honey or obtain it by catching a Combee (who may or may not have it on them).

2. There are about a million trees in Sinnoh. You have to spread the honey on these trees (slathering them all up would increase your chances of catching what you want)

3. You need to wait 6 cunt fucking hours. (Real time)

4. Go back to said trees and check them. A pokemon may or may not have appeared.

5. If they did, then you get to fight. You’re gonna find lots of Burmees over a Heracross though.

Keep in mind that a Heracross has at least a 5% chance of appearing on these trees. 6 hours time, 5% encounters, you know what this means? Yeah, of course you do. Those limp dick fuck ups at Gamefreak have crafted one of the most insidious design choices ever in video game history. What balls they have!

The RNG is mostly featured in MMOs to ensure that players become addicted to the lottery like nature of the game. As seen here, MMO developers have to find some way to keep you addicted to the games long enough to sustain profit for subscriptions. Grand Chase is one of those sure fire games. Yes,it’s free to play, but Ntreev (commonly known as NGreed) has a SEVERE habit of shoving the cash shop down your throat. This includes:

1. Making cash equips severely overpowered.

2. Cash quests for class changes are easier, have less requirements to fulfill, and HIGHER drop rates for items needed to advance classes.

3. VIP slot machine that has like 1% drop rates for every item that is exclusive to the slots.

And these methods were working. People were spending well over $300 dollars for this game that is supposed to be “free”. Going free in this game is the WORST thing you could do. None of the free/GP gear you get is worth anything. You only get one pet and need to cash for everything else. And the drop rates, oh Amma, those drop rates. For the second class change, you need up to 300 fragments of a particular weapon, and 10 gaikoz seals. The fragments aren’t 2 bad, but ensures you’ll do a millions runs in the same 4 dungeons, or just Gaikoz’s castle to get seals. Seals drop from the main boss and have 5% drop rates. You need 10 for free missions. Cash? 10 frags, 1 seal. Drop rates are even higher.

This wouldn’t be so bad if people didn’t ass kiss them so much over this shit. The VIP slot machines they put in the games were the most blatant forms of cash whoring I have ever seen. Ntreev’s revenue generating practices literally destroys their published MMO’s, severing the ties between communities time and time again turning the environment into class warfare over who has the skills vs who has the cheese.

MMO makers/publishers abuse the RNG for monetary purposes alone. But why is this shit in video games that don’t require a paid subscription?! Going through Xenoblade where every single guest in the game is a goddamned fetch quest will drive you clinically insane, because you even get ONE DROP you need to complete a quest that requires 10! This is a single player game. My success of getting shit does not impact anyone else. I say this because hardcore types have (back in my day, anyway) used this excuse for the sake of “balance”. There’s no reason for this shit than to discourage me from playing games forever that have rpg elements. Xenoblade’s 17 trillion quests are littered with RNG horse shit. There’s no point in doing any of these quests unless you want some flashy sword with so and so special abilities that won’t amount to anything now that you’ve beaten the game by that point.

This is especially jarring as most RPGs that give you “super special awesome weapons” DON’T AMOUNT TO SHIT! At least in God Eater, the weapons have some sort of effect that I can see on monsters. Xenoblade!? Last Story!? Grand Chase? PSP2!? NOTHING! I don’t see any real improvements in attack power from any stronger weapons…. ever. This is in contrast to turn-based RPGs (and PSO) where the effects become immediately apparent. You can tell hunters have incredible melee attacks while FOnewms can nuke the shit out of everything. Today’s RPGs, you cant tell whether or not your most powerful gear is actually doing anything! You’re just stuck wailing on enemies until they’re dead without any concern that your attacks are either stronger or weaker. I don’t feel rewarded by obtaining new weapons that have nothing to show for it except how rare the mother fuckers are.

But, since developers are lazy, things are going to get more expensive, and gamers will be less likely to buy shit, developers will more and more start relying on the RNG to do all the programming for them. What ensues that gamers will become discouraged and alienated from playing RPGs in the near future, especially for MMOs when the money starts getting tighter. Developers are going to have to find some sort of compromise. I can assure you that this shit is going to bite them on the ass. Especially the games that don’t have paid subscriptions (Japan with their bias against PC games). There’s not gonna be a middle ground with drop rates.

The unfortunate problem is that NO ONE really brings this up as an issue with RPGs. If that skinner box is anything to go by, perhaps we really do enjoy this kind of atmosphere. Afterall, Maryland is getting another damn Casino even though it benefits NO ONE except crooks and criminals. And people voted for it! And we all know it wasn’t for schools. Everyone knows that’s bullshit. No money will go to furthering education, it’s all about people’s love of money and their gambling addictions. It’s literally impossible to escape. We all have this… sick… sick obsession with “luck based outcomes” in regards to money. If there is a chance to win more when you’ve already won enough, enough isn’t enough. You want more because well… think of the possibilities! You might be able to upgrade that damn sword to Laoyang P! ANd then to Laoyang!

Ugh. Devs know the human mind to the point that they will anger people with this shit.