Fuck you, Namco


Ever notice that a lot of famous game franchises from the early 80s until now seem a little….  fruity.

Lets review a few franchises

The Legend of Zelda. It starts off as a game based on medevil fantasy where you are a swordsman on a quest to rescue a princess from an evil pig demon in the far reaches of Death Mountain. Today, you are a teenager named Link who has a highschool crush on a random girl named Zelda while dealing with bullies and freaks with long tongues. Zelda displays attributes of a mild tsundere type of character. Sassy, but always worried about you, the main character. And trains.

Sonic the Hedgehog. Series starts off mainly as a tech demo for the Mega Drive but turned into a way past cool mascot for Sega in the 90’s. For a brief time, due to Sonic X, was turned into a happy go plucky good guy who has no flaws and is just that guy that everyone can count on. Apparently tells the princess to just smile, and is always the last hope for humanity. Shadow has a dark past, and Blaze is used a vehicle to drive the “power of friendship” home, while Silver reminds everyone of Trunks for no goddamn reason. Currently, Sega is trying to reverse this.

I don’t think I need to talk about Final Fantasy.

Current day RPG’s are more and more trying to capitalize on modern day anime, which is why they’ve declined, because modern anime is shit. This also goes for Japanese developed fighting games like Blazblue and Arcana Heart.

A lot of Japanese developed games in general look like anime.

I think RPG’s have always tried to be like anime, but most of the bullshit that appealed to the Japanese stayed in Japan. However, the Japanese knew how to appeal to our tastes overseas with their own flavor added to them. Science Fiction doesn’t appeal that much to the Japanese, but we somehow got Metroid and Phantasy Star out of the deal.

Speaking of Metroid, why was Nintendo forcing canon from a Manga into the series so late? Why does Sakamoto feel like it’s important to our enjoyment of the franchise?
The truth is, simply…. the Japanese are beginning to care lesser and lesser about our entertainment.

One of the reasons I say this is (and probably isn’t a good reason imo) is due to the PSP. See, the PSP is perceived as “shit” here in the West. But PSP is godly in Japan due to Monster Hunter. Due to Monster Hunter’s immense success, Japanese developers rushed to the system, developing all kinds of MH clones for it. God Eater being one of them, and was one of the more successful MH clones to be released. I have to admit, I actually considered getting one for this game. But here’s the problem. We don’t like the PSP in the west. For what it is, it’s too pricey for a system of shit value. Why do used PSP’s cost up to 175 on Amazon? I can get a DS Lite for as little as 75 bucks  (Oh, found one for 55). The system is fragile as fuck, the functionality is hardly decent, and the system has a severe lack of games people would actually want. And online capabilities mean jack shit when all the people you could find would usually NOT have a PSP and stick with a DS. Over here, we don’t like PSP. But over there, the Japanese do. So the Japanese will load the system with a ton of RPG’s for their Japanese audiences, but then export them over here, never advertising them, and expecting us to buy a shitty system to play a game no one knows about.

If the Japanese bothered looking at world wide trends and not their small, imploding Island, they would realize that not bothering with exports would be a wise idea. An even better idea would be to port the games to a cheaper to develop for console with a higher install base (IE, the Wii). And then try to export that. The problem is, the Japanese have the same prejudice against the console as the West does. It’s underpowered and/or the Wii audience is a bunch of fucking retarded children. I’m shocked we got visual novel games like Trauma Center, and artsy dipshit games like Muramasa (No, I am not saying it sucks. Hell, I like it). But Monster Hunter sold best on PSP over in Japan. So what happens is God Eater goes to a system that the West despises.

God Eater would probably have a much better chance in the west on a System the West cares about. The Wii version of Monster Hunter Tri was the most successful in the west. More than the fucking PSP games!

And I doubt the Wii audience is full of prudes either.

The Ragnarok game sold more on the DS than the Vita. Phantasy Star Zero sold extremely close to Phantasy Star Portable’s numbers (this is impressive considering ZERO advertising for both games). If anything, the Japanese would benefit by making US copies of their games exclusive to systems the West actually likes. Like Monster Hunter. Keep Tri on Wii while every other MH game goes to PSP in Japan only. It’s a waste of time putting it out on the PSP as an export. God Eater sold like piss in the west, but no one is going to buy a PSP for this game anyway. As crazy and as ridiculous as that is to conceive, it’s a logical choice if the Japanese want to appeal to the west again.

See, the reason the Japanese does this shit is that they’re assuming that because it does well in their tiny little world, it should also do well in the West. This is funny considering Metroid usually sells like ass in Japan, yet they still had the balls to give us the series. Super Metroid actually sold better in Japan than it did in America, but Nintendo decided to take a hiatus on the series for an entire console generation. Nintendo didn’t give a shit that Japan liked Super Metroid over the U.S. So why are they trying to appeal to them now? Japan is a much smaller market than in North America as well. They would benefit much more by trying to appeal to our sensibilities as they have done before. Sega realized this with Sonic, and while not immediate, I assume there will be a nice, steady recovery for the blue hedgehog. But other gaming companies outside of Sega and Capcom don’t seem to give 2 shits about anyone outside of the country. But this goes beyond what platforms the companies decide to use.

I’m playing Phantasy Star Zero right now. The game is very fun despite it’s repetition. However, there’s one element that pisses me off. The vending machine exclusives are disproportionate for the US.

Then there’s this annoying little bitch.

Ignoring the whole “copy right” excuses, because I personally don’t see that many items that are of copyright, and besides that, since it’s a nintendo console, Nintendo shouldn’t have much of an issue putting out Easter eggs of their own shit into the game at this point. Maybe the localization team renamed the items, but for fucking what!? If it’s on a Nintendo platform, Nintendo shouldn’t even give Sega any shit for it especially since you still have an item called “NINTENDO POWER” in the US version. We STILL get less items than the Japanese. That’s not even ignoring the Sonic Gems collection getting even MORE games in Japan than here (the excuse was trying to keep the ESRB ratings down, but Sega will make a game like Shadow the Hedgehog) It’s not like Sega can’t censor the damn games at this point. Fang the Wolf was exclusive to the Japanese version of Bloody Roar: Primal Fury on the gamecube. Why? They had no problem putting his ass on the Xbox version. Hell, Mai’s tits were no longer realistic and were just those fake, hard tits you see on blond white women these days. Why!?

Apparently, the reason this happens is to discourage their own audience from buying cheaper versions from abroad. Japanese merchandise is expensive as fuck to buy. But the Japanese rival the jews in their greed that they INTENTIONALLY FUCK UP THEIR OWN EXPORTS to discourage the japanese from buying international releases of their own games. And they don’t give a rats ass if the overseas audiences are pissed off about it.

The Japanese have made one thing clear. They would rather cater to their domestic locations. That’s fine and dandy. That’s your home turf. That’s your own kind. Japan was originally supposed to be a very isolated country, having little contact with the outside world as it is (which is why they’re so ignorant of other races and don’t know what the fuck to do if a foreigner strolls in without being rude about it). The problem is they’re making games for us anyway. We shouldn’t be ignored deliberately for the sake of your own domain. We shouldn’t get screwed over because you drive a hard bargain for your entertainment. And we shouldn’t be expected to like something just because it sold well in your country. And if something is successful over in the West, you need to examine why and KEEP IT THAT WAY!

We don’t get Sonic Manga or Metroid Manga for good reason. We instead have American comics that actually appeal to us. TAKE A HINT FROM THAT AND KEEP YOUR ANIME BULLSHIT OUT OF SONIC AND METROID!

Here’s something that’s funny. Everyone keeps crying for Retro to make another Metroid game despite the fact that Retro was already running the series into the ground. Corruption was the worst the series had to offer by that point. But Retro is more desirable than Sakamoto and Nintendo EAD at this point because Other M KILLED the Metroid franchise. What does that tell you? We will literally lower our standards of quality when the Japanese destroys something we love for the sake of appealing to the Japanese. How arrogant to give us something, and then immediately shut us out from it? That is what Japan is doing in a nutshell.

This guy = BLACK btw. 😛